text:
Neoconservatism

Neoconservatism is a term referring to the political goals and ideology of the "new conservatives" in the United States.

Quotes

 * Our "neoconservatives" are neither new nor conservative, but old as Babylon and evil as Hell.
 * Edward Abbey,

 * At the same time, Kissinger, Carter and détente were condemned as weakening the West by a group of conservative Democrats led by Henry (Scoop) Jackson, a critic of SALT, as well as by key Republicans who were influential in the Ford administration (1974–7), notably his Chief of Staff, Richard (Dick) Cheney, and the Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld. They drew on advice from commentators such as Richard Perle, Richard Pipes and Paul Wolfowitz who warned about Soviet intentions. The continuity of this group, through 1990s’ opposition to Clintonian liberal internationalism, to the neo-conservative activism of the early 2000s, especially against Iraq, is notable.
 * Jeremy Black, The Cold War: A Military History (2015)

 * [N]eoconservatism at its root is basically just saying what’s good is good for everybody. Not everybody all the time, and not everybody at the exact right level to absorb these ideas but freedom is not something that's limited.
 * Arthur Brooks, interview with Bill Kristol (2015), transcript

 * What the heck is a neocon anyway in 2003? A friend of mine suggests it means the kind of right-winger a liberal wouldn't be embarrassed to have over for cocktails. That's as good a definition as any, since the term has clearly come unmoored from its original meaning. ... In social policy, it stands for a broad sympathy with a traditionalist agenda and a rejection of extreme libertarianism. Neocons have led the charge to combat some of the wilder excesses of academia and the arts. But there is hardly an laid down by Neocon Central. I, for one, am not eager to ban either abortion or cloning, two hot-button issues on the religious right. On economic matters, neocons--like pretty much all other Republicans, except for Mr. Buchanan and his five followers--embrace a laissez-faire line, though they are not as troubled by the size of the welfare state as libertarians are.
 * There's no "neo" in my conservatism.
 * Inside the administration are Vice President Dick Cheney and Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz. Their agenda is known as "neoconservatism," though a more accurate term might be "hard ." Advocates of this view embrace Woodrow Wilson's championing of American ideals but reject his reliance on international organizations and treaties to accomplish our objectives.
 * Max Boot,

 * A Democrat who has infiltrated the Republican Party.
 * Harry Browne's definition of a neoconservative, "From the mailbag", Harry Browne's Journal (22 December 2004).

 * If anything, Washington’s neoconservatives have an unerring instinct for survival. Having brought about multiple disasters in the two decades since the terror attacks of September 11, 2001, from the Iraq war to the twin debacles in Libya and Syria, the neocons seem to have perfected the art of failing up.
 * James Carden, Neocons bent on starting another disaster in Ukraine, Asia Times, 15 December 2021

 * The Americans occupying Iraq couldn’t even admit to themselves they were colonialists. Instead, the State Department dressed up the whole operation like it was a kind of armed sensitivity training seminar, designed to liberate Iraqi women from their traditional gender roles: “Now that we’ve overthrown Saddam, we march ahead to overthrow the patriarchy!” The result was failure, accompanied by chaos on every level. Watching it, I realized that there was nothing conservative about neoconservatism. The neocons were just liberals with guns, the most destructive kind. The upside of the trip was that I made a lifelong friend. To this day I’m close to Kelly McCann, the retired Marine officer who guided me in Iraq. He’s still one of the most impressive people I know.
 * Tucker Carlson, The Long Slide: Thirty Years in American Journalism (2021)

 * You know, I have repeatedly defended President Bush against the left on Iraq, even though I think he should have waited until the U.N. inspections were over. I don't believe he went in there for oil. We didn't go in there for imperialist or financial reasons. We went in there because he bought the Wolfowitz-Cheney analysis that the Iraqis would be better off, we could shake up the authoritarian Arab regimes in the Middle East, and our leverage to make peace between the Palestinians and Israelis would be increased.
 * Bill Clinton, Interview with Time, June 2004

 * If you are against war, you must act today. If the US reimposes the draft, you may be called to serve and to kill. And if the thought of killing to satisfy neocon blood thirst, government control of oil and oil pipelines, or US global hegemony offends your conscious, you must begin preparations to defend your soul.
 * Jim Fedako, Why Kill for Biden?, Mises Institute, 21 March 2022

 * That war in the early 1990s changed a lot for me. I never thought I would see, in Europe, a full-dress reprise of internment camps, the mass murder of civilians, the reinstitution of torture and rape as acts of policy. And I didn't expect so many of my comrades to be indifferent – or even take the side of the fascists. It was a time when many people on the left were saying 'Don't intervene, we'll only make things worse' or, 'Don't intervene, it might destabilise the region. And I thought – destabilisation of fascist regimes is a good thing. Why should the left care about the stability of undemocratic regimes? Wasn't it a good thing to destabilise the regime of General Franco? It was a time when the left was mostly taking the conservative, status quo position – leave the Balkans alone, leave Milosevic alone, do nothing. And that kind of conservatism can easily mutate into actual support for the aggressors. Weimar-style conservatism can easily mutate into National Socialism. So you had people like Noam Chomsky's co-author Ed Herman go from saying 'Do nothing in the Balkans', to actually supporting Milosevic, the most reactionary force in the region. That's when I began to first find myself on the same side as the neocons. I was signing petitions in favour of action in Bosnia, and I would look down the list of names and I kept finding, there's Richard Perle. There's Paul Wolfowitz. That seemed interesting to me. These people were saying that we had to act. Before, I had avoided them like the plague, especially because of what they said about General Sharon and about Nicaragua. But nobody could say they were interested in oil in the Balkans, or in strategic needs, and the people who tried to say that – like Chomsky – looked ridiculous. So now I was interested.
 * Christopher Hitchens, "In enemy territory? An interview with Christopher Hitchens.", Interview with Johann Hari (2004-09-23): On the Bosnian War

 * Let me repeat that the absurd thing about the anti-Islam neo-conservatives is that they are invariably supporters of unrestricted migration, the means by which Islam has quite peacefully established itself as a permanent, growing major social, religious and political force in our country. If Sharia law comes to Britain, as Mr Jacubs fears, it will not be because of violent actions such as the Woolwich outrage, which I think we can safely assume were condemned and disowned by most British Muslims. It will be as the result of the entirely peaceful establishment of a sizeable Muslim population in this country.
 * Peter Hitchens,

 * The neocons who dominate the State Department and CIA see the war as a means of asserting American dominance over the world economy, starting with its own NATO partners. The problem with this view is that although America’s military-industrial, oil and agricultural monopolies are benefitting, the rest of the U.S. economy is being squeezed by the inflationary pressures resulting from boycotting Russian gas, grain and other raw-materials exports, and the enormous rise in the military budget will be used as an excuse to cut back social spending programs.
 * Michael Hudson, American Diplomacy as a Tragic Drama, (28 July 2022)

 * When progressives remain silent and don’t talk about why the war in Syria is illegal, then into the void step in neocons like Lindsey Graham. Any wonder that our nation remains mired in endless war. Let’s have the guts to stand for responsible withdrawal.
 * Ro Khanna in a Twitter post (30 December 2018)

 * ...one can say that the historical task and political purpose of neoconservatism would seem to be this: to convert the Republican party, and American conservatism in general, against their respective wills, into a new kind of conservative politics suitable to governing a modern democracy.
 * Irving Kristol, "The Neoconservative Persuasion".

 * ...a liberal who has been mugged by reality."
 * Irving Kristol.

 * [I]n America today, responsible liberals—who are usually called neoconservatives—see that liberalism depends on human beings who are somewhat child-centered, patriotic, and religious. These responsible liberals praise these non-individualistic human propensities in an effort to shore up liberalism. One of their slogans is 'conservative sociology with liberal politics.' The neoconservatives recognize that the politics of free and rational individuals depends upon a pre-political social world that is far from free and rational as a whole.
 * Peter Lawler, ""Liberal Conservatism, Not Conservative Liberalism" (2003), The Intercollegiate Review

 * Analogies from history must, of course, be treated with care. Using the wrong one not only can present an oversimplified picture of a complex situation in the present but can lead to wrong decisions. After September 11, 2001, it became fashionable, especially among neo- Conservatives, to talk about how the West finds itself engaged in World War IV. Norman Podhoretz, a leading neo-con thinker, argued that the Cold War was really World War III and that now, after a too-brief period of peace in the 1990s, we are engaged in an equally massive and deadly struggle against Islamic fundamentalism. Like the other world wars, the United States and its allies are the innocent party; others have thrust war upon them. The West is only defending itself, even in wars like the Iraq one where it launched the attack. In such a view, the war is a moral one, of good against bad. A convenient shorthand, the authorship of which is proudly claimed by the Canadian David Frum, is the “Axis of Evil.” No matter that the Axis in World War II was a working set of alliances between Germany, Italy, and Japan and that this one is said to include Iraq and Iran, countries that waged a long war against each other in the 1980s, and North Korea, whose leaders probably have trouble finding their two reputed partners on the map. No matter, too, that the Cold War was not like the great military struggles of the two world wars and did not end with an armistice on the battlefields but with the collapse of one of the protagonists. Those who criticize the open-ended and ill-defined nature of the “war on terror” or the occupation of Iraq are dismissed as isolationists, cowards, or worse. Reviewing Podhoretz’s recent work, World War IV: The Long Struggle against Islamofascism, Ian Buruma wrote: “The book expresses a weird longing for the state of war, for the clarity it brings, and for the chance to divide one’s fellow citizens, or indeed the whole world, neatly into friends and foes, comrades and traitors, warriors and appeasers, those who are with us and those who are against.”
 * Margaret MacMillan, The Uses and Abuses of History (2008), pp. 175-177

 * Secretary of State Mike Pompeo's rush to judgement that Iran was behind the apparent attacks on two tanker ships last week has not galvanized world opinion against Iran, as the neocons hoped. Instead, it was met with high skepticism even among Washington's closest allies. Has the neocon practice of massively exaggerating and endlessly issuing threats finally destroyed US credibility on the world stage?
 * Ron Paul, Credibility Crisis: No One Believes Pompeo On Iran Attack, Liberty Report,] (17 June 2019)

 * Lies are nothing new to politics. It's arguable that neoconservatives have lied to us on a regular basis on a variety of issues, ranging from foreign policy to the supposed destruction of the nuclear family, which they claim would result from allowing homosexuals the same rights held by heterosexuals.  But in each of these cases, the lie's impact is diminished by a healthy level of scepticism.  The most successful lie propagated by neoconservatives would have to be the conclusion that they are fiscal conservatives.
 * Alexander S. Peak, "Conservative Socialism", LewRockwell.com (24 September 2005).

 * [N]eo-conservatism is a quintessentially Jewish project: a re-sanctification in everyday life of the core values of western civilisation, and the achievement of human potential through virtuous practice.
 * Melanie Phillips, British journalist.

 * George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and the neoconservatives should all hold a special place in the hall of shame for mass killers for what they did to Iraq.
 * Jeremy Scahill, A Brief History of U.S. Intervention in Iraq Over the Past Half Century (April 9 2018), .

 * Neoconservatism has actually been based on the following ideological premises. First is the assumption that political democracy is the best of all possible institutions... Second is the assumption that a market economy, with almost unregulated capitalism, is the best possible economic system... While the praise of political democracy and the free market has been an essential part of American political tradition, this was not the case with imperial expansion, the major shibboleth of neoconservative faith. This latter has made neoconservatism absolutely different from all previous brands of American conservatism.
 * Dmitry Shlapentokh, Who Should Be Blamed: Neoconservatives and Their Critics.

 * Before the Iraq war I was quite disturbed by some of the neoconservatives, who were saying things like, "What is the point of being a superpower if you can't do such-and-such, take on these responsibilities?" The point of being a superpower is that people will leave you alone.
 * Thomas Sowell, "Live" with Thomas Sowell, The American Enterprise, September 2004.

 * Mr. Breivik, his writings suggest, would have been reluctant to describe himself as a fascist — a common feature of European far-right discourse. He wrote: "I equate multiculturalism with the other hate-ideologies: Nazism (anti-Jewish), communism (anti-individualism) and Islam (anti-Kaffir)." These ideas, it is important to note, were echoes of ideas in mainstream European neo-conservatism. In 1978, the former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, famously referred to popular fears that Britain "might be swamped by people of a different culture." In 1989, Ms Thatcher asserted that "human rights did not begin with the French Revolution." Instead, they "really stem from a mixture of Judaism and Christianity"— in other words, faith, not reason.
 * Praveen Swami, Anders Breivik & Europe's blind right eye (July 25, 2011), ''

 * Why is it the Mongols of this world always tell us they're defending us against the Mongols?
 * Edward Whittemore, Nile Shadows (1983).

title: Neoconservatism


text:
Full Throttle

Full Throttle is a 1995 computer developed and published by. The player assumes the role of a leader, Ben, who is framed for murder of Malcolm Corley, the CEO of the last domestic motorcycle company. While the real killer, the vice-president of Corley Motors Adrian Ripburger, plans to inherit the company, and move on to more profitable production like minivans. Thus, Ben sets off on a road adventure to prove his innocence, to find the real heir to the company (Malcolm's illegitimate daughter Maureen), and to save all bikers' future. The game contains a lot of voiced dialogue, as well as limited action and non-linearity. A sequel (Full Throttle: Hell on Wheels) was both announced and canceled in 2003.
 * ''Directed and written by Tim Schafer.

Ben

 * [opening narration] Whenever I smell asphalt, I think of Maureen. That's the last sensation I had before I blacked out; that thick smell of asphalt. And the first thing I saw when I woke up was her face. She said she'd fix my bike. Free. No strings attached. I should've known then that things are never that simple. Yeah, when I think of Maureen, I think of two things: asphalt... and trouble.
 * [reading a sign from dumpster] "Warning! Do not play in or around dumpster. Do not kick dumpster. Do not sleep in dumpster. Usage of this container for the disposal of human remains, may be in violation of local health ordinances."
 * [looking at the boxes] Empty boxes. They really should be flattend, so they can be recycled.
 * [looking for his keys] Some joker took my keys. I don't like that.
 * [looking at his bike] Good thing Ripburger didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
 * [knocking on the door of the Kickstand] Open up!
 * [using different interface actions on a piano]
 * ["eyes"]: Man, I wish they had a jukebox.
 * ["hand"]: Yeah, right.
 * ["lips"]: It's hard enough to play with your fingers.
 * ["boot"]: [kicks the piano]: Play!
 * When I'm on the road, I'm indestructible. No one can stop me... but they try.
 * [using different interface actions on Todd Newlan after knocking him down]
 * ["eyes"]: This view defines true beauty.
 * ["hand"]: I think he's had enough.
 * ["lips"]: I'm not puttin' my lips on that.
 * ["boot"]: I think he's had enough.
 * [trying to open Todd Newlan's trailer door]: Knock knock.. Open up Todd!
 * [looking at Todd's basement window from outside]: Either someone's doing some welding down there, or we're talking about some very sub-code wiring.
 * [various comments on Todd Newlan's "art"]
 * I don't collect art. And I also don't collect whatever that is.
 * That would make a great mailbox post... IN HELL!
 * I don't want to start a fight with that thing.
 * I sure hope he is not trying to bring these to life or anything.
 * Kick the little tin doggy? Maybe later...
 * I nominate that as "Least offensive of the show".
 * I had a dog with a funnel on its head when I was a kid.
 * That would make a good mailbox post. In HELL!
 * [various comments at the Mink Ranch]
 * [looking at the pelt] Looks like a mink pelt.
 * [looking at the pictures] Lots of bikes.
 * [looking at the banner] That's the insignia of the Vultures! I can't believe Mo used to be a Vulture, but then again... How else could she have gotten that recoil booster?
 * [various comments of the hovercraft]
 * ["eyes"]: It's trashed.
 * ["hand"]: I don't touch anything without wheels.
 * ["lips"]: I'm not putting my lips on that.
 * ["boot"]: [kicks the hovercraft]: Heh heh.
 * There's the Vultures' hideout, on the other side of this field. I heard a lot about the Vultures. [throws a rock on the field, triggering an explosion when it hits the ground] And I guess it's all true.
 * [trying to open the Mink Ranch door] Open up, you minks!
 * [the player fails a task and Ben dies] Ouch. Let me try that again.
 * No momentos. I'll have scars enough to remind me of this trip.
 * Corley Motors. I've been meaning to come here for years. This is really a religious pilgrimage for me. A religious pilgrimage with a lot of butt-kicking.
 * [upon attempting to use/pick up a huge turning Corley Motors sign on the factory]: Isn't that a little big for a souvenir?
 * [Looking at Emmet] He doesn't look happy.
 * She took my booster fuel. Why is she running from me? She must think the whole world's against her. I Think I know how that feels.
 * [to himself towards Emmet] That does it! He's dead!
 * [to himself] That sign... That means I'm in Cavefish territory.
 * There's some sorta card. And a tape. I sure hope that's Corley's will.

Horace

 * Souvenirs, here!
 * We got yer hats!
 * We got your pennants!
 * We got it all right here!
 * Official Corley Motors merchandise!
 * Our bunnies come with batteries included!
 * Loveable loveable little bunnies!
 * Buy your kids bunnies so they'll shut up on the long ride home!

Rottwheelers

 * Hey! It's my old friend what's your name! Glad to see you up all rehabilitated. My knuckles were starting to itch.
 * Don't give up now!
 * I see you come for a lesson in pain. Pay close attention, this will hurt.
 * Back again? Good. OK, lesson's over! Time for the final exam!
 * My bike!
 * Is that all the pain you can dish out.
 * Now I'm mad!
 * I hates Polecats!
 * This time you're gonna stay down!
 * Freaky punk!

Ripburger

 * Oh, now I'm just embarrassed for them. Who do they think thery're fooling with those ludicrous disguises?
 * Alright boys, sick 'em.
 * ...was not only an inspirational leader, but also a great personal friend. His loss affects us all deeply. Malcolm and I spoke often of the future. We talked of the day when Corley Motors would move beyond its humble beginnings and into a new vehicular age. And, although his tragic death took him from us sooner than anyone expected. Malcolm Corley's dream remains. And I shall carry out that dream in his memory. Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present to you the future of Corley Motors... the Corley MINIVAN!

Vultures

 * [toward Ben while fighting] Aggressive little wart, ain't ya?
 * [toward Ben while fighting] Shouldn't hit a man wearing glasses!
 * [toward Ben] Back off man!
 * [toward Ben] Loser!

Cavefish

 * This cargo is worthless. We have been tricked my brothers. Back to the cave.
 * Oh angry spirit of Ricky Myran, we honour your rage, but for now, the ramp must go back.what

Others

 * Father Torque [eulogy for Malcolm Corley]: Life... was a game to him... And he played it... by his own rules. He was a mystery to most of us... and yet, an inspiration to us all. He gave us FREEDOM. He gave us POWER. He gave us WINGS. He gave us WHEELS. Thank you, Malcolm Corley... for giving us a DREAM that will never die...
 * News announcer: Once again, our top story tonight: Malcolm Corley, owner of Corley Motors, was found DEAD at a rest stop just outside the town of Melonweed! Apparently, the benevolent patriarch and CEO was VICIOUSLY BEATEN ABOUT THE HEAD AND NECK! SAVAGELY, AND WITHOUT MERCY! Police have arrested a notorious outlaw biker gang known as "The Polecats". With the exception of their leader, who is still at large. Roadblocks have been set up along Highway 9 in an effort to apprehend this DANGEROUS AND VIOLENT CRIMINAL!
 * Derby announcer: All right folks! Hang on to your chili dogs, 'cuz its time to start The Corley Motors Smash-A-Torium Amateur Driver Ultimate Destruction Maximum Carnage Marathon! Let's meet our crash-cage gladiators! That mysterious-looking hooded figure wouldn't give us his real name... He prefers to be known as "The Unknown Avenger" and that's just fine with us, isn't it folks. And next to him is another newcomer! Please give a big Smash-A-Torium salute to Princess of Pileup, Doreen Schmorley! ...and finally, we have a last minute addition to the lineup tonight. A deadly looking team known as the "The Boom Boom Brothers". Alright now, are you ready to see some WREAKLESS DRIVING? Are you raedy to see some UNNECCESSARILY VIOLENT DESTRUCTION?
 * Derby announcer: Now, that was quite an explosion, folks! I can't see any survivors yet!.. Wait! What's that? It's the Unknown Avenger! AND HE'S ON FIRE!!! [the crowd goes wild] Let's give him a hand, folks, that looks painful! We really should put him out right way, but what a show, huh?
 * Derby announcer: Well, folks, it looks like the party is getting a little out of hand. The stadium seems to be catching fire. Let's all remain calm and... huh... ah, you're right! The Derby is over! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
 * Nestor: [chasing Ben] Ha, ha, ha! [to Bolus] Look at him run!

Dialogue

 * Malcolm Corley: Ripburger! You're dumber than dirt!
 * Adrian Ripburger: Mr. Corley, if you'd only listen to my plan, my VISION...
 * Malcolm Corley: I know your plan, Ripburger. You're waiting for me to die so you can take over my company!
 * Adrian Ripburger [chuckles]: Sir, that's horrible. I'm not waiting for you to die...
 * Malcolm Corley: Ya know, I never liked you, Rip. But you have business know-how and killer instincts that I respect.
 * Adrian Ripburger: Why, thank you sir.
 * Malcolm Corley: But this LATEST idea of yours: ridin' up to our shareholders' meeting with a gang of BIKERS?! Who do ya think you're foolin'?
 * Adrian Ripburger: Why, the shareholders, sir. It's good PR to be seen hobnobbing with real Corley Motors customers.
 * Malcolm Corley: What do you know about our customers, Adrian? You've never even been on a bike!
 * Adrian Ripburger: You know I'd be on one right now, sir, if it weren't for my destabilizing inner-ear condition.
 * Malcolm Corley: Ah, your ears are fine. It's what's between 'em that scares me! [Ben rides his bike over the hovercraft] Now there goes some boys I can ride with! Step on it. Lets find out who they are.

 * Darrel: Hey Ben!
 * Ben: Huh?
 * Darrel: You know, Ben, we're broke.
 * Ben: Yeah?
 * Darrel: And if some cash doesn't come our way soon, we're in big trouble.
 * Ben: Relax. I have a feeling something's coming our way. Something big.
 * [time passes]
 * Malcolm Corley: You'd better stay out here Rip. This place is for bikers only. Heh heh heh. [Malcolm enters the bar] All right! Who's the guy that drove over my car?!
 * [time passes]
 * Adrian Ripburger: What could possibly he be taking so long?
 * Bolus: Maybe old man Corley got himself in trouble.
 * Nester: Yeah, maybe they took the old guy out back and worked him over with a two-by-four.
 * Adrian Ripburger: An appealing notion, but improbable. More likely he's boring them to death with some tale of the glory days.

 * Everybody: Ha ha ha ha!
 * Ben: But Malcolm, isn't that illegal?
 * Malcolm Corley: Not back then is wasn't.
 * Everybody: Ha ha ha ha!
 * Ben: So, who do ride with these days?
 * Adrian Ripburger: [towards Ben after walking in the bar] He rides with me. Although, I'm sure he'd much rather be riding with your little club.
 * Malcolm: [towards Ripburger] I told you to wait out in the limo Ripburger!
 * Adrian Ripburger: I thought you might like some help with you sales pitch, sir.
 * Ben: Sales pitch?!
 * Adrian Ripburger: Yes, we have come here today to offer you and your men employment. Mr. Corley requires and escort to the annual Corley Motors shareholders' meeting.
 * Ben: [towards Corley] Does this look like an escort service to you?
 * Adrian Ripburger: You would be well compensated for your time, of course.
 * Ben: Not interested.
 * Adrian Ripburger: It's fairly obvious that you could use the money...
 * Ben: Listen, I said we're not for rent. The Polecats are not goons for hire.
 * Adrian Ripburger: Not even if it were Malcolm Corley's dying wish?
 * Malcolm Corley: RIPBURGER! That does it! I'm gonna...
 * Ben: Hold on there, Malcolm. If you don't mind, I'd like to step outside with Mr. Ripburger for a little chat.
 * Adrian Ripburger: Excellent idea.
 * [Time passes]
 * Adrian Ripburger: And the doctor says he only has a few months to live.
 * Ben: That's bad news for all of us. He's not just a nice guy. He's also the last motorcycle maker in the country. What happens to Corley Motors if he dies?
 * Adrian Ripburger: Don't worry, I have a plan. And if you come to the shareholders' meeting with us, you'll find out what it is.
 * Ben: No dice, Ripburger. The Polecats are not thugs for rent. If you want to buy muscle, you should go find the Rottwheelers.
 * Adrian Ripburger: The old man says it's the Polecats or nothing.
 * Ben: Then I guess it'll have to be nothing.
 * Adrian Ripburger: And that's your last word?
 * Ben: That's it.
 * Adrian Ripburger: Well, I'd like to make you just one final offer... [Bolus knocks out Ben] [pause] Bolus, take this coat and go get his motorcycle. We'll have to tie up this little two hundred pound loose end. It will need to look like an accident.
 * [Back in the bar]
 * Malcolm Corley: That stuffed shirt actually thinks I'll leave HIM in control of Corley Motors when I go. Boy, is he in for a surprise.
 * Darrel: Hey, Where's Ben going?
 * Adrian Ripburger: Your colleague has decided to accept our generous offer after all. As a matter of fact, he's gone on ahead to scout out the route.
 * Darrel: He did?
 * Malcolm Corley: Well then... let's roll em' boys!

 * [Ben finds the bar door locked before him and kicks it to the ground]
 * Ben [to Quohog the bartender]: I, uh, fixed your door. It was sticking.
 * Quohog: Look, I don't want no trouble. Just leave me out of this mess.

 * [various comments on the frames hanging on the back wall of the bar]
 * Ben: What's this?
 * Quohog: It's a big blobby gray shape. I was takin' an art class.
 * Ben: This your pitbull?
 * Quohog: No, that's my baby picture.
 * Ben: Woah!
 * Quohog: Watch it, that's my sister!
 * Ben: Fifteen guys with towels in their belts?
 * Quohog: My graduating class from bartender school.
 * Ben: Are you the guy with the lampshade on his head? Or the guy chuggin' out of the punch bowl?
 * Quohog: Lampshade.

 * Ben: Good thing that's a badger.
 * Quohog: Why?
 * Ben: 'Cause if that were a dead Polecat, I'd have to trash the place.

 * Ben: I never liked noserings.
 * Quohog: Me neither, but someone dared me.

 * Ben: Looks like you're out of customers.
 * Quohog: Yeah your gang took off with those... those well-dressed gentlemen. So what'll it be Mac?
 * Ben: Where'd everybody head off to?
 * Quohog: What am I the cruise director? Maybe they're off on the lido deck.
 * Ben: I think you're in on this whole bum deal.
 * Quohog: Yeah, well whaddaya gonna do about it.

 * Quohog: What do you have?
 * Ben: I wanna know the guy who knocked me out.
 * Quohog: Maybe you just passed out. You should learn to handle your liquor.

 * Quohog: You want something?
 * Ben: Something smooth.
 * Quohog: The only thing smooth in here is my head. And you ain't touchin' it.

 * Quohog: You want something?
 * Ben: What do you got for a headache?
 * Quohog: A little sympathy.
 * Ben: Thanks.
 * Quohog: But not much.

 * Quohog: You want something?
 * Ben: I'm lookin' for my keys.
 * Quohog: I got no idea what you're talkin' about.

 * Quohog: Are you gonna order something?
 * Ben: No.

 * Ben: [looking at the cash register]: Hmmm
 * Quohog: It's empty, don't get any ideas.

 * Ben: You know what might look better on your nose?
 * Quohog: What?
 * Ben [grabs Quohog's nose ring and slams it downward]: The bar! Now don't mess around with me!
 * Quohog: All right! All right! I've got your keys but I don't know nothin'! They had guns! They told me to stall you as long as possible.
 * Ben: Why?
 * Quohog: I don't know! I don't know! I overheard them say something about an ambush up the road.
 * Ben: What else?
 * Quohog: Nothing! Nothing! [pause] Look man, here are your keys, alright. [pause] Oh ah, someone did say something about killing you and making it look like an accident.
 * Ben: They didn't do too good of a job there. But why ambush the Polecats? I'd better get moving.

 * Rottwheeler: Ain't you the A-Number One Polecat Honcho?
 * Ben: Yeah, and you're in my way.
 * Rottwheeler: Well get use to it bud. When the Rottwheelers hit the road, we own it.
 * Ben: Look I'm serious, someones ambushing the Polecats.
 * Rottwheeler: Someones ambushing the Polecats! Oh heavens, what ever will we do! Ha ha!
 * Ben: That does it!
 * Rottwheeler: Come on kitty! Let's get down!

 * Ben: What are you?
 * Maureen: I'm a mechanic. And apparently, a pretty good doctor as well. My name's Maureen.
 * Ben: My name's Ben. Why did you hit me over the head, Maureen?
 * Maureen: You were in an accident. A reporter found ya and brought you and your bike here.
 * Ben: My bike! What have you done to my bike?
 * Maureen: Brought it back from the dead? Sorta what I did with you. I need a little help getting it finished, though.
 * Ben: How's it look?
 * Maureen: Looks better then it did, but you gotta help me out. The front forks were wasted, so you'll have to get some new ones. And someone stole my welding torch, can you believe that? I can't finish without one. And last but not least, I patched up your ruptured gas tank, but your're out of fuel and I don't have any.
 * Ben: Where am I supposed to find all this stuff?
 * Maureen: You can handle it, tough guy.
 * Ben: Where am I gonna find new forks?
 * Maureen: Well, they don't have to be NEW new. Just not broken into little pieces.
 * Ben: Do you have a last name?
 * Maureen: I prefer not to use it. What about you?
 * Ben:Same deal.
 * Maureen: Then I guess it's Ben and Mo forever, I guess.
 * Ben: This an authorized Corley Motor service center?
 * Maureen: You can call this a Corley service center. But I don't have the official paperwork.
 * Ben: Ah, an illegitimate Corley operation.
 * Maureen: I prefer to think of it as a RENEGADE Corley operation.
 * Ben: Where'd you learn bikes?
 * Maureen: I grew up working on 'em with my dad. One summer we did nothing but restore this old hardtail together. I mean, we scrubbed every bolt until it shined. But he took off one day and never came back. So I switched to toasters.
 * Ben: You live in this town?
 * Maureen: Well, Melonweed's not much of a town. What's left of it is sinking about a foot a year. People either learn to adjust, or they leave, which is fine with me.
 * Ben: Not a people-person?
 * Maureen: I'm just better with toasters, that's all. Look, if you want me to finish this thing...
 * Ben: Say no more.

 * Miranda: Oh good you're not dead yet. I'd might still get a quote.
 * Ben: I heard you saved my life.
 * Miranda: Yeah, but don't worry. I wasn't trying to. I was just looking for some nice roadside disasters photos, and you helped.
 * Ben: Who'd want a picture of me bleeding?
 * Miranda: It's not the blood, it's the way you were all twisted up like a pretzel.
 * Ben: Listen, I've got to stop an ambush.
 * Miranda: Ambush? Really! Where?
 * Ben: Somewhere between here and Corville. My crew is escorting some VIPs to the Corley Motors shareholders meeting. And there is an ambush waiting for them somewhere up the road. [pause] Uh, I, I...
 * Miranda: Yeah?
 * Ben: This is hard for me I, I, need...
 * Miranda: Come on man, spit it out!
 * Ben: Could you give me a ride in your car? I've got to stop this ambush.
 * Miranda: You're right! We have to get to the ambush alright! But I'm afraid I'm without wheels at this moment.
 * Ben: How did you get us here?
 * Miranda: Hitched.
 * Ben: Well I'd better take off.
 * Miranda: All right, drive safe now. [rushes to hidden car and drives off quickly]
 * Ben: [Watches Miranda drive away] Thanks for the lift. Now I've got a quote for you.

 * Todd Newlan: I'm tryin' ta do my art in here, buddy! I don't got time to waste on bums like you!
 * Ben: I'm a friend of Mo. I need ...
 * Todd Newlan: Listen I didn't take no weldin' torch. You hear me? I'm no crook. So get off my back already!

 * Todd Newlan: Whaddya want!?
 * Ben: This is important!
 * Todd Newlan: Not ta me, ya freaky-lookin' hood! Now beat it! I got a guy comin' to look at my art, so blow!
 * Ben: Let me in!
 * Todd Newlan: Ha ha ha ha! Good one, punk! Now beat it!
 * Ben: I'm about to roll this thin can!
 * Todd Newlan: That's it! I'm callin' the cops!
 * Ben: Good, I've been meaning to report a stolen welding torch.
 * Todd Newlan: Get away from my door, you bonehead punk!
 * Ben: Candygram.
 * Todd Newlan: That's it! If you don't take off for good I'll ...
 * Ben: You'll WHAT?
 * Todd Newlan: I'll glaze yer ugly puss with my welding torch. I mean my uh ... my hair dryer. I'll get out my hair dryer and burn you, so beat it. Stick around here long enough and maybe they'll pick you up with the trash!
 * Ben: I'm here to look at the art.
 * Todd Newlan: Nice Try!
 * Ben: Got some flowers here.
 * Todd Newlan: Beat it!
 * Ben: Hi, I'm from Mobile Manor Magazine.
 * Todd Newlan: Hit the road!

 * Todd Newlan: What do I have to do to get rid of you?!

 * Policeman: Remain where you... Hey I don't see anybody.
 * Policeman Floyd: Maybe nobody's there.
 * Policeman: Then who set off the alarm, Floyd?
 * Policeman Floyd: Maybe someone's just foolin' with us.
 * Policeman: Naw, you must have missed that last guy.
 * Policeman Floyd: Well, if you could hold this thing still while I'm shootin'.
 * Policeman: I'm going down for a closer look.
 * Policeman Floyd: I don't see nobody he must have run away.
 * Policeman: Nah, we woulda seen him runnin' from the air.
 * Policeman Floyd: He must be hiding up in the towe.
 * Policeman: We got him treed.
 * Policeman Floyd: Let's go up and get him

 * Maureen: That's my welding torch! How did you get it?
 * Ben: Oh it was just lying around.

 * Maureen: Oh good. You get this from the gas tower?
 * Ben: Not exactly.

 * Maureen: Nice forks! Where did you find them?
 * Ben: Right next to the knives and spoons.

 * Maureen: Well that's it. Wait outside there for a minute while I finish her up. I'm working on a surprise.
 * Ben: [Walks outside and waits] I hate surprises.
 * Maureen: Alright! Here she comes! [pause] Am I cool or what?
 * Ben: Your amazing. I should crash that thing everyday! So, what's the surprise?
 * Maureen: Oh, just your average, everyday, pre-regulation, destroyer-class, solid-fuel recoil booster.
 * Ben: You're serious.
 * Maureen: Yes.
 * Ben: But only the Vultures...
 * Maureen: I have my connections. Now, are you gonna try this thing or not? [pause] I wish I had a camera.
 * Ben: I wish I had some way of paying you back.
 * Maureen: Just beat it, will ya? You're scaring away my regular customers.
 * Ben: Bye, Mo.
 * Maureen: Send me a postcard from the ambush!

 * Policeman: Here that? He's back at the gas tower! He's got a lotta nerve, that piece of trash! Let's get him! All units follow me.

 * Darrel: Ben! How'd you get behind us?
 * Ben: Where are the suits?
 * Darrel: Corley's making a pit stop. He has a bladder the size of a thimble man...
 * Ben: Ripburger?
 * Darrel Haven't seen him in a while. Ben, man, what's the deal? Did you find something up the road? Are we headed for trouble?
 * Ben: No, we're in it.
 * '[at the pit stop]
 * Malcolm Corley: [singing] Put my head in a basket. Cause I'd had a tank full. When she blew my gasket, I surely was thankful. 'Til I head for the skies up above. It's a woman with wheels that I love.

 * Miranda: [to herself] Come on, old man. I got ya. Now, do something incriminating like ambush someone! Ah-ha the plot thickens.

 * Adrian Ripburger: [towards Malcolm after hitting him with his cane] You shouldn't have laughed at me in those board meetings, Malcolm!

 * Miranda: [to herself towards Ripburger] What a psycho!
 * Bolus: Gotcha! [pause] [towards Ripburger] Hey, look what I found in the bushes!
 * Adrian Ripburger: What is that?
 * Miranda: It's a choke hold. Come here and I'll demonstrate!
 * Adrian Ripburger: It's got a camera!
 * Bolus: I'll get her!
 * Adrian Ripburger: No! Nestor will take care of her. You have an important engagement with the rest of the Corley family.
 * Bolus: Right.
 * Adrian Ripburger: But don't forget to destroy that camera!
 * Bolus: Yeah, yeah!
 * Adrian Ripburger: Now then Malcolm, how about one for the road?!
 * Ben: Corley?
 * Malcolm Corley: Ben? [pause] I guess Ripburger couldn't wait for natural causes. Just like him to hit a man with his fly's down.
 * Ben: Ripburger did this to you?
 * Malcolm Corley: Yeah, he knew I was dying... And he knew that my will would put him out of a job. He wants to take over Corley Motors, Ben! Sell it off to foreigners, lay off workers, start making minivans... You understand me? MINIVANS! Unhhh! You gotta hurt him for me, Ben. Promise me you'll hurt him bad!
 * Ben: I promise.
 * Malcolm Corley: I want my daughter to take over the company.
 * Ben: You have a daughter.
 * Malcolm Corley: Yeah, and she's a real mechanical genius, Ben! Rebuilt her first carburetor when she was four! I used to call her the Diapered Dynamo. Find my daughter, Ben. Find Maureen
 * Ben: Maureen!?!

 * Ben: [to himself while going back] Ripburger's way ahead of me. I just hope Maureen can handle herself until I get there.
 * Maureen: [to herself after Bolus falls down to the pile] That gun I understand... But why'd he bring a camera. Who does this guy work for? CORLEY MOTORS?!?
 * Adrian Ripburger: Nestor, what's that moving over there by the pile?
 * Nestor: I don't know, Rip, but I think that pile is Bolus.
 * Adrian Ripburger: Yes, now I remember... YOU'RE the smart one, aren't you?

 * Ben: [to himself when he arrived] There's Mo's shack, but I don't see the limo... Maybe I beat them here. On the second thought, maybe I didn't.

 * Miranda: Ben! no time to talk!
 * Ben: You know, it's stank in there, but I can't remember a better sleep.
 * Miranda: You gotta help me! Go find my editor in Corville, tell him I took pictures of the Corley murder!
 * Ben: You've got pictures!?
 * Miranda: Yeah, but some thug took my camera!
 * Ben: So you DON'T have any pictures.
 * Miranda: Well, I tarcked the guy to Melonweed. But I'm not going near the place! They'd kill me! Get my editor! He's got to get me out of this! Take one of these fake IDs to get through the roadblocks. My career is riding on those pictures! Help me, Ben, you're my only hope!
 * Ben: Oh, don't worry. I owe you one. [pause] If Miranda's thug is the same one that trashed Mo's place, that could be Miranda's camera I saw there. But then who's got the film?

 * Quohog: Hey, killer!
 * Ben: What?
 * Quohog: Ayy it's cool. Your secret's safe with me!
 * Ben: What secret?
 * Quohog: Haven't you've been watching the news?

 * Ben: We've been set up!
 * Emmet: Roadblock suck!
 * Ben: I've shouldn't have left the gang there!
 * Quohog: Hey, I don't want to hear anything about it! You ain't making ME an accessory after the fact! Just lay low, man.

 * Ben: Listen, let me tell you what happened.
 * Quohog: I told you I don't want to get involved.

 * Ben: I can do that.
 * Emmet: Not gonna happen.

 * Ben: Seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Not to mention nicks or scratches. [pause] Am I distracting you?

 * Ben: That your truck out front? I need a ride.
 * Emmet: I look like a cabbie to you? Get lost! They're not letting anyone through that road block, anyway.
 * Quohog: Not even truckers?
 * Emmet: They turned me around and said "Police business only." Pigs.
 * Ben: Look, I really need a ride.
 * Emmet: Not gonna happen.
 * Ben Why, Cuz' you're afraid of some cops?
 * Emmet: No, because I don't like you.
 * Ben: I just killed a guy.
 * Emmet: I'm just about to.
 * Ben: I don't think that's good for the table.
 * Emmet: Hey, Quohog!
 * Quohog: Yeah, Emmet?
 * Emmet: I'm gonna be knifin' up yer table for a while, alright?
 * Quohog: The customer with the knife is always right.

[trying to continue the below dialogue]
 * Ben: Let me show you how to do that.
 * Emmet: Not gonna happen.
 * Ben: I need to get to this place, Uncle Pete's Mink Ranch.
 * Emmet: I need to go in that direction too, but the pigs are running the sty tonight.
 * Ben: How poetic.

 * Ben: Good talking to you. Friendly folks you get in here.
 * Quohog: Emmet's not what you'd call an "I'm OK, you're OK" person.
 * Emmet: Ah, shut yer hole Quohog!

 * Ben: Here.
 * Emmet: What's that?
 * Ben: Fake federal investigator ID. Could be of some use at one of those roadblocks. Ever here of this place - Uncle Pete's Mink Ranch?
 * Quohog: I remember there used to be some sorta weasel plantation or something up the road.
 * Emmet: Down Highway 9, on the other side of them damn roadblocks. I used to pick up mink meat down there real cheap, and sell it to school lunch programs. That was a good scam.
 * Ben: So how about a ride? [Time passes] What if they search the back and find my bike?
 * Emmet: It's burned in a pile of concentrated fertilizer powder. Trust me, no one's goona dig through that crap. Now yer gonna ride in the engine compartment.
 * Ben: The engine compartment.
 * Emmet: Hey, I smuggle stuff in there all the time, and most of it's worth more than you. So stuff yer carcass in there quick and we might hit that mink dump by morning.
 * Ben: Hope you're better with a stick shift than you are with a knife. [saying to himself while riding] Oh great, smells like he's got a fuel leak. I love engine fires.
 * Policeman: Sorry sir, only police vehicles beyond this point.
 * Emmet: I'm with the feds, chump. Check it out.
 * Policeman: What's this about?
 * Emmet: Undercover agricultural sting operation.
 * Policeman: What's in the back?
 * Emmet: Fertilizer
 * Policeman: All right, move along.
 * Emmet: Hope you rubes get yer man!
 * [time passes]
 * Ben: Problem with you truck?
 * Emmet: Loose hose, nuthin big. I already pulled your bike out. It's sittin' right over there. Well, nice knowin' ya. Gotta hit the road, y'know.
 * Ben: [after when Emmet leaves] He did have a fuel leak! And he took my fuel line to fix it! That trucker's gonna die for what he did!

 * Nester: Hmmm.
 * Bolus: The place looks deserted. Maybe the boss was wrong, and she ain't comin' here.
 * Nester: She's coming! We just got here first! That means all we have to do is sit here and wait!

 * Bolus: Boss! It was Nester's fault!
 * Adrian Ripbueger: Get in quick. I have a plan. We're going to lure the Corley remnant out of hiding, with a bike.
 * Nester: Boss, she already has a bike.
 * Adrian Ripbueger: Yes, but this one, she worked on with her father. It's an emotional thing; don't try to understand. Now, hurry!

 * Ben: Father Torque! [pause] I haven't seen you since you retired from the Polecats!
 * Father Torque: Hey Ben! How's my gang doin'?
 * Ben: Well, it's a long story.

 * Ben: What are you doing out here?
 * Father Torque: Well retirement is pretty boring, Ben. So I just come out on the Old Mine Road looking for trouble.
 * Ben: You're picking fights?
 * Father Torque: That's what the Old Mine Road's are for son.
 * Ben: Father Torque, I need your help. The gang's in jail and the law ...
 * Father Torque: Ben I'm not the leader of the Polecats anymore, you are. Can't you see I'm on a permanent vacation.
 * Ben: Any fighting tips Torque?
 * Father Torque: Ahn, Ben, who's tougher then you?
 * Ben: Nobody, but those Rottwheelers are uglier.
 * Father Torque: They are not too bright either. I'm sure you can handle them.
 * Ben: Your right. No one's tougher than me.
 * Father Torque: That's m'boy.
 * Ben: The Vultures are quick, and there're nuts!
 * Father Torque: The ones with those boosters are hard to whip. Just remember, Ben, it's not about muscle, it'a about timing.
 * Ben: What's up with those Cavefish, man?
 * Father Torque: Watch out Ben! There not out here for sport. They hijack big rigs. It's part of their religion. Don't get in their way. They're blind cold-hearted killers.
 * Ben: How do the Cavefish ride if they're blind?
 * Father Torque: Well, they're only blind because they wear those special goggles to shield their sensitive cave-dwelling eyes. Special sensors in their goggles pick up the dots on the road, and other large objects and landmarks to help them navigate. Kind of trippy, huh?
 * Ben: You know any way around Poyahoga Gorge?
 * Father Torque: Around it? It's miles and miles long, Ben. What's the matter? Don't like bridges?
 * Ben: It blew up.
 * Father Torque: Ooooh! Sorry I missed that. Well, you can jump it, like Ricky Myran. Cavefish got his ramp in their hideout, you know.
 * Ben: Where is the Cavefish hideout, exactly?
 * Father Torque: Somewhere on this road. The entrance is totally invisible unless you got those weird Cavefish specs. Can't talk anymore Ben. Eatin' too many bugs.
 * Ben: Well, take it easy father.
 * Father Torque: Give em' hell Polecat!

 * Ben: Say there? Is that a pre-regulation destroyer-class solid-fuel recoil booster you have there?
 * Vulture: Why, yes it is! Ta-ta! [engages booster and rockets away, leaving Ben choking on fumes]

 * Vulture: Wow, are you really a polecat?
 * Ben: Yes, I am.
 * Vulture: Well, I hate polecats.

 * Vulture: You like choppers, eh? How about this chopper?

 * Ben: I'm here for the shareholders' meeting.
 * Corley Motor Guard: Mr. Ripburger has postponded the meeting until Mr. Corley's murderers are apprehended. All the shareholders were notified.
 * Ben: Yeah, well, I haven't checked my voicemail lately, Mac.

 * Ben: Excuse me, But are those... shirts, are they all cotton?
 * Horrace: Well, just let me see here. One hundred percent cotton!
 * Ben: That's too bad. I'm allergic to cotton.

 * Horrace: Sure, sure, Take it for a spin. Just don't go out of range. Alright, that's far enough bud. Hey, don't go in there! Now look what you did! The enterance is all the way through the factory! Hang on li'l buddy! Daddy's comin'!

 * Maureen: That's the guy I was telling you about, Suzi.
 * Suzi: You sure?
 * Maureen: Yeah. That's the guy who killed my father.
 * Suzi: Alright Vultures! Rack 'em up!
 * Maureen: Let's rip 'em quick!
 * Ben: Listen, Mo! Your making a big mistake!
 * Maureen: Oh, Ben. Your right. We shouldn't do this so quickly. We should draw this out, don't you think, Suzi?
 * Suzi: Hey, I got all night. You heard her kids. Lets draw this out!

 * Ben: Let me go or else...
 * Maureen: Or else WHAT?
 * Ben: I'll call you names!
 * Maureen: Ooooh! Like what?
 * Ben: Diapered Dynamo!
 * Maureen: How... Where'd you hear that name?
 * Ben: Your father. He told me just before he died.
 * Maureen: You blugeoned my father, and then talked about old times?
 * Ben: I didn't kill him! Ripburger did! A photographer took pictures, but her camera was stolen by the same thug that came after you.
 * Maureen: I... I still have that roll...
 * Ben: Well, develop it would ya? While I still fit in my clothes?
 * Maureen: Okay, you stay here.

 * Maureen: Sorry.
 * Ben: Yeah, well. Don't sweat it.
 * Maureen: I'm going to get Ripburger, even if I die trying.
 * Ben: No, we have to expose Ripburger at the shareholders' meeting. That way, we take him down, we save my gang, AND your father gets his dying wish. You take over Corley Motors.
 * Maureen: Ripburger canceled the shareholders' meeting. He made a statement to the press that there would be no meeting until the murderers were brought to justice.
 * Ben: So, no shareholders' meeting until we're both dead?
 * Maureen: Hmmm... That can be arranged.

 * Suzi: Okay, so here we go: Faking Ben and Maureen's death, act one, scene one. Adrian Ripburger, in a desperate attempt to lure our Maureen out of hiding has developed the following lame-ass scheme: First prize at tonight's smash-up derby is a vintage hardtrail that Mo restored with her dad. Rip hopes Mo will try to nab said bike on account of her sentimental attachment to it. So Ben and Mo play along, but on disguises, and enter the demolition derby, which ends tragically when their cars explode and they are both presumed dead.
 * Ben: Uh, question.
 * Suzi: Please save your questions until the end. Now the explosives in Mo's car can only be triggered by a head-on collision with Ben's car. This ejector seat projects Mo clear from the explosion and she parachutes to safety.
 * Ben: Don't you think someone will notice her ejecting out of her car?
 * Suzi: No, they'll be all watching you run around on fire.
 * Ben: Yes, that's another question I have.
 * Suzi: When your car explodes, you climb from it in flames and run around the stadium distracting the audience. In your cute little asbestos suit, of course.
 * Ben: That's some plan!
 * Suzi: Alright, then, let's go blow you little darlin's up!

 * Adrian Ripburger: What happened? Did you get him?
 * Nestor: We finally got him, Bolus! That means Ripburger has to make us vice-presidents now like he promised! And give us ten thousand shares of stock each! Hum, funny smell. What's that? The temperature light?
 * [their damaged car explodes and they both die]
 * Adrian Ripburger: Well, on the bright side, I just made twenty thousand shares of stock. Time to start the Sharholders meeting.

 * Ben: Where's the hardtail?
 * Maureen: All over the floor Mr. Avenger?
 * Ben: What? What happened to your deep, sentimental attachment to your father's vintage bike?
 * Maureen: Ben, it's just a bike! I can put it back together in about half an hour. That's assuming of course, I can find that key.
 * Ben: What key are you talking about?
 * Maureen: The key to my dad's safe. I remember he hid it somewhere on this bike but I looked everywhere and I can't find anything that even looks like a key.
 * Ben: What's in the safe that's so important?
 * Maureen: My dad's will! I'm counting on him to tell the truth about me finally.
 * Ben: Why did he keep you a secret all these years?
 * Maureen: He didn't want people to find out about my mom.
 * Ben: What's so bad about Mrs. Corley?
 * Maureen: She wasn't my mom.
 * Ben: But how we are going to get in the factory?
 * Maureen: In the back of the factory, there's a secret enterance that leads straight to dad's office. He used to sneak me in so I can help him with his bike designs.
 * Ben: When he got too old to do all the work himself?
 * Maureen: No, this is back when I was six.
 * Ben: How do I find the secret passage?
 * Maureen: Well, it's tricky. You have to wait until all the utility meters to turn black... then you kick the wall in just the right spot, and you're in.
 * Ben: How do I find the right spot to kick?
 * Maureen: Dad just knew exactly where to kick it. But I remember there was this big crack in the wall... And if I lined up that crack with my eye level... and kicked the wall right in front of me. This wierd portal would open up.
 * Ben: What if I can't find that spot?
 * Maureen: Just line up the crack with your eyes, wait for the meters to turn black, and kick.
 * Ben: What are we in, anyway?
 * Maureen: It's a C330 'Big Mouth' Industrial Cargo Jumbo Transport we fixed up. We want to get it rolling so we can take it to biker rallies.
 * Ben: You're going to try to fly this thing?
 * Maureen: Rolling Ben, rolling. This baby's flying days are over, just like mine.
 * Ben: How was your flight?
 * Maureen: Well, there were some explosions during takeoff, and I landed in a mine field, but other than that, it was fine.
 * Ben: I'm fine, by the way. thanks for asking.
 * Maureen: Great, now help me find that key.
 * Ben: Remember that time you tried to kill me?
 * Maureen: Yeah, we really TAUT you a lesson.
 * Ben: I'll see what I can do
 * Maureen: Right.

[Ben leaves the hideout]
 * Maureen: Here take the photos. I don't want them. Show them to someone important, if you get a chance.

 * Corley Motor Guard: Sorry, the meeting's already started.
 * Ben: I know! Let me in!
 * Corley Motor Guard: Mr. Ripburger is giving his keynote address. No interruptions.
 * Ben: But I'm a shareholder!
 * Corley Motor Guard: Yeah right!
 * Ben: Jerk!
 * Ben: Open Up!
 * Corley Motor Guard: Beat it!
 * Ben: Jerk!

 * Mavis: Man that Ripburger. Where does he get this crap.

 * Mavis: Hey who are you? How long have you been there? Oh, security! [pause] Help! Security! [pause] What took ya so long? He ran down the hallway! Move it!
 * Security: Mavis must be seeing things.

 * Ripburger: What you see before you right now is MY vision for Corley Motors.
 * [the screen goes bad]
 * Mavis: Oh perfect!
 * Ripburger: This is a disaster!
 * Mavis: You're telling me, we're gonna have some major down-time here. Why don't you tell a joke or something.
 * Ripburger: Ugh, I don't know any jokes. You know, this reminds me of an amusing anecdote.
 * Mavis: Well, I'm outta ideas.

 * Adrian Ripburger: Now, this next slide shows our new, more aggressive corporate strategy...
 * Malcolm Corley: Hello There. If your hearing this, I must've croaked! Well, people gotta move on, you know and make room for other people... and that's what I'm here to talk about today. I've made room for someone else who could take over my place at Corley Motors. And it ain't that embezzling crook Adrian Ripburger! Rip, you don't belong to the head of my company, you belong in jail! I let that man talk into far too many things like keeping my daughter a secret! He was wrong. I was wrong. I should have stood by her. I hope Maureen that you forgive me, and that you take over Corley Motors and run it however you see fit. All right, that's enough! How do I turn this damn thing off?
 * Adrian Ripburger: I'm sorry you had to hear that tape... from... one of Malcolm's... psychiatric sessions... Near the end, he suffered many paranoid delusions... He was haunted by powerful forces of his own creation.
 * Maureen: And here's one of them! Ladies and gentlemen! My name is Maureen Corley, and do I have a heck of a story for you! by the time I'm done you'll see why... THIS man should be in jail! Hey! Where'd he hobble off to?
 * Ben: There he goes!
 * Maureen: ...and then he sent his goons after ME!
 * Ben: [watching Ripburger drive away] Run Ripburger... When it's time to find you we'll follow the shiny trail.
 * Maureen: Yes, of course we'll have day care facilities! Any other questions? Oh, speak of the devil, come over here Ben.

 * Ben: So, after we pick up your bike, we'll go get my gang out of jail.
 * Maureen: And then we'll find out why my gang never showed up to help us.
 * Ben: And then you go business suit shopping.
 * Maureen: Don't remind me.
 * Ben: Don't complain. You're going to be rich.
 * Maureen: At this point, I'd settle for just a little peace and quiet.

 * Ripburger: She interrupted my speech Ben. She really shouldn't have. I was just about to talk about the inherent dangers of motorcycle operations.

 * Suzi: Can't you make this damn thing go any faster!?!

 * Ripburger: My cane!
 * Ben: You need more than a cane when I'm through with you Ripburger.

 * Ripburger: Ha! No one sneaks up from me from behind!

 * Ben: I thought you said this thing couldn't move.
 * Suzi: I said it couldn't fly, I never said it couldn't taxi.
 * Maureen: Well, flying would be nice, since we’re headed for the gorge.

 * Ben: Ripburger! You're going to kill all of us!
 * Ripburger: Shh Ben! Don't ruin the ending!

 * Ben: How do you stop this thing?
 * Suzi: From the cockpit.
 * Ben: So much for the controls. I could have used those.

 * Ripburger [trying to shoot Ben]: I'm taking you and your friends with me, Ben!
 * Ben: All you're taking is the wrong kind of medication!

 * Ripburger [in response to Ben firing the machine guns on the truck]: Ha! I think you've just killed a seagull!

 * [writing on the license plate Ripburger has in his hands as he falls into the gorge]: "Can't beat a Corley"

 * Maureen: Wait! Come back! We need your weight in the plane!

Biker haiku
The "biker haiku" appeared after the ending credits of the game.

 * bar fighters leap out
 * moths tangle with orange hot flame
 * my nose thrice broken

 * splitting lanes at rush
 * beemer tries for a cut-off
 * taste my righteous chain

 * booming thunder rolls
 * clutch release throttle open
 * red smear on pavement

 * wet grease on the road
 * makes me laugh as my buddy
 * slides under a truck

 * on the road for days
 * two wheels, an engine, and me
 * I don't brush my teeth

 * sky covers the land
 * dark goggles cover my eyes
 * speed covers my tracks

 * road rises upward
 * forehead smiles for the pavement
 * cranium tastes bad

 * Emmet drops a load
 * green crap coats the road like snow
 * just take a little

 * Todd doesn't like you
 * bang on door but say nothing
 * can you not talk, henh?

 * whiffin' the asphalt
 * hot leather, shiny metal
 * see, I am manly

 * my male fantasy
 * now a profit-making game
 * maybe I'll get chicks

Full Throttle: Hell on Wheels

 * [opening narration in the teaser trailer]
 * Ben (VO): I can't help thinking this is where all my troubles begin. It looks so simple: help out a pretty dame, and then kick some tail and leave town... but it never ends up that way. Things get real complicated, real fast.

Full Throttle demo

 * Ben: Sometimes, you just wake up in trouble.

Cast

 * Roy Conrad - Ben (Full Throttle only)
 * Kath Soucie - Maureen Corley
 * Mark Hamill - Adrian Ripburger, Emmet, Todd Newlan
 * Hamilton Camp - Malcolm Corley, Father Torque
 * Maurice LaMarche - Nestor
 * Mal Friedman - Quohog
 * Tress MacNeille - Suzi

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Full Throttle


text:
Talk:Full Throttle

Last Name
Reading through some Full Throttle trivia unearthed this plausible piece of information:

"Okay, here's the first thing I have to clear up: His name is Ben Throttle. We just couldn't say that in the game because we were scared the people who made Biker Mice from Mars would sue us because their rat biker guy was called Throttle. But now Biker Mice From Mars is dead! So let it be known, Ben does have a last name." - Tim Schafer

-- Quoth 15:49, 13 Apr 2005 (UTC)

 * The game manual lists his name as Ben Whatshisname. Interesting though. --69.140.53.176 04:05, 14 May 2006 (UTC)

Can't beat a Corley
Bljumovic, you seem to know the game quite good, can you help me with this matter? The thing is, I'm pretty sure, I've heard the catchphrase "Can't beat a Corley" in the game at some point before the ending. Do you perhaps happen to know its exact time and location? --Koveras 20:24, 26 September 2007 (UTC)

 * It is written on the license plate Ripburger has in his hands as he falls into the gorge. --Semcapital 10:47, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

title: Talk:Full Throttle


text:
Wikiquote talk:Quote of the day/April 8, 2005

This is not a Buddha quote. Unless the contributor has an actual citation, I have a real problem believing the Buddha said this. The fact is, Buddha said that he had the right teaching and that we should accept it, regardless of logic because our present dukkha is born of ignorance anyways.