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Stargate SG-1/Season 5

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Stargate SG-1 (1997–2007) is an American television series about a secret military team, SG-1, that is formed to explore other planets through the recently discovered Stargates. The show, created by Brad Wright and Jonathan Glassner, is based on the 1994 science fiction film Stargate by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich.

Enemies [5.1]

 * Daniel Jackson: Can we communicate with them?
 * Jacob: And say what?
 * Daniel Jackson: I don't know, "don't shoot"?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: I'm enjoying their style. Shoot first, send flowers later. It works.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Excuse me. I distinctly remember someone saying we're not going to make it. I think we made it.
 * Jacob: I'm sorry, I overreacted. At the time, it looked very much like we weren't going to make it.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes, well, maybe next time you'll just wait and see.
 * Jacob: And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?
 * Col. O'Neill: What?
 * Maj. Carter: [grinning] Welcome to my life.

 *
 * Daniel Jackson: Teal'c, you don't really believe you're still First Prime of Apophis.
 * Teal'c: I have never ceased to be in the service of my god.
 * Col. O'Neill: All right, that's sounding a little brainwashy. You don't believe that guy's a god any more than I do.
 * [Teal'c is silent]
 * Col. O'Neill: What's that supposed to mean?

 *

 * Maj. Carter: [in reference to a door she is trying to unlock] Sir, I really hate to sound negative, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that without a little more insight into how these things actually work, I’ve got pretty much zero chance of hitting... [door slides open] Okay, maybe not zero.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Come on, Teal'c. A part of you has to know the truth.
 * Teal'c: The truth is you are a prisoner of Apophis. When the symbiote I carry matures, you will become its host.
 * Col. O'Neill: Okay, I meant the other truth.

 *

 * Ren Au: (in a female voice) The Tok'ra are officially considering Selmac a fallen war hero.
 * Gen. Hammond: You'll forgive me for holding out hope a little longer. SG-1 has a surprisingly good habit of beating the odds.

Threshold [5.2]

 * Gen. Hammond: Please explain to me what it is you hope to achieve by depriving Teal'c of his symbiote?
 * Bra'tac: I hope to save him.
 * Dr. Jackson: By killing him?
 * Bra'tac: If necessary.
 * Col. O'Neill: See, I think we disagree on the meaning of the word "save".

 *

 * Bra'tac: And where is your false god now, Teal'c?
 * Teal'c: He will come.
 * Col. O'Neill: I don't think so buddy. I know we've been over this a few times, but in case you weren't listening, I am one hundred percent s-sure...
 * [Col. O'Neill trades glances with Maj. Carter and Dr. Jackson, both of whom appear skeptical]
 * Col. O'Neill: Ninety nine percent sure Apophis is dead.

 *

 * Teal'c: Va'lar!
 * Col. O'Neill: "Va'lar?" Is that what he said?
 * Daniel Jackson: I thought he said "velour."
 * Col. O'Neill: "Velour?"
 * Daniel Jackson: "Velour."
 * Col. O'Neill: The fabric?
 * Daniel Jackson: That's what I heard him say.
 * Col. O'Neill: Why would he say that?
 * Daniel Jackson: I don't know. Why would he say "Va'lar"?

 *

 * [Teal'c is speaking about his friend Va'lar]
 * Teal'c: He failed his god!
 * Col. O'Neill: His god? You mean that scumsuckin', overdressed, boombox-voice snake-in-the-head? Latest on our long list of dead bad guys?
 * Dr. Fraiser: Colonel, his heart rate just doubled.
 * Teal'c: Fool!
 * Col. O'Neill:[to Daniel] That I understood.

 *

 * [Teal'c is remembering an argument he once had with his wife]
 * Teal'c: Do not test my temper, woman!
 * Daniel Jackson: [startled] Woman? Did he just call me a woman?
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes, I believe he did.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: So, is it working? Has he said anything?
 * Col. O'Neill: Talked about fabric, briefly.
 * Daniel Jackson: He just called me a woman.
 * Col. O'Neill: So I think it's working.

Ascension [5.3]

 * Col. O'Neill: How long?
 * Dr. Jackson: Uh, well days, weeks, months, maybe…of meticulous, tedious... boring tediousness.
 * [O'Neill walks off]
 * Daniel Jackson: But uh, I can just keep working now. By lunch at least.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Tense? Me? I'm not tense. Am I? [pause, then, with a worried look, sotto voce] When did you first notice?
 * Col. O'Neill: [pointedly] As we met.
 * Maj. Carter: I've always just thought of myself as being very ... [Makes a quoting motion] focused.
 * Col. O'Neill: It's called working too hard ... you're gonna crash and burn.
 * Maj. Carter: [Thinks] I really don't have that much more to do ... Sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, find something. Take up ... golf. [Walking away] Fly a kite ... knit something.
 * Maj. Carter: [Slightly pissed expression] I...I'm...fine!...Really!

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Uh ...[Turns] I could hang out for a while?
 * Maj. Carter: [smiles] So far he's only shown himself to me.
 * Col. O'Neill: Maybe he's shy.
 * Maj. Carter: [Smiling and nodding] Please don't say "Take it easy."
 * Col. O'Neill: [Goes to leave] Take care? [Maj. Carter smiles]

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: We brought dinner and a movie.
 * Teal'c: [holding up a video tape, enthusiastically] Star Wars!
 * Col. O'Neill: Teal'c's seen it what, eight times?
 * Teal'c: Nine.
 * Col. O'Neill: Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be OK.
 * Maj. Carter: You've never seen Star Wars?
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, you know me and sci-fi...

 *

 * Teal'c: I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-O.
 * Col. O'Neill: [Tossing Teal'c his cell phone] Call Daniel.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: I was just wondering how far you'd got on the 636 translation.
 * Daniel Jackson: Oh yes, I'm almost done. It miraculously seems to hold the key to all the mysteries of the universe.
 * Maj. Carter: You just got there, you haven't started, and I should leave you alone.

 *

 * [Orlin presents Maj. Carter with a very large emerald]
 * Maj. Carter: You made it?
 * Orlin: You wouldn't believe the things you can make from the common, simple items lying around your planet... which reminds me, you're going to need a new microwave.

 *

 * [Maj. Carter sees Orlin has constructed a miniature Stargate in her basement]
 * Maj. Carter: You've been busy.
 * Orlin: I didn't think they'd let me go back to Velona through their Stargate.
 * Maj. Carter: So you built one?
 * Orlin: Sort of. This will not dial multiple addresses, it will only create a wormhole once and probably burn out.
 * Maj. Carter: And you ordered the materials on-line?
 * Orlin: Mostly. Sorry but you're going to have a pretty big credit card bill this month. Oh, and you're going to need a new toaster.

 *

 * Col. Simmons: Need I remind you, Dr Jackson, of the dangers that we're trying to defend Earth against?
 * Dr. Jackson: Oh, could you? Go slow.

 *

 * Teal'c: Do you believe Major Carter has become mentally unstable?
 * Col. O'Neill: No more than the rest of us.

The Fifth Man [5.4]

 * Daniel Jackson: Oh, no, I mean, I get it. I mean we obviously have Lt. Tyler issues. I say he exists. You say he doesn't.
 * Col. Simmons: This is not just about Lt. Tyler.
 * Daniel Jackson: Someone else doesn't exist?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: You know what the Goa'uld really want from us? Minnesota, that's what. For the fishing, mostly.

 *

 * Teal'c: If I were still loyal to the Goa'uld you would know it.
 * Col. Simmons: Really?
 * Teal'c: It would be immediately apparent, as I would not hesitate to kill you where you sit.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Hey, where's Tyler?
 * Daniel Jackson: You know, I would've asked him, but I was too busy being unconscious after he shot me with that zat you gave him, so…

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Well I wasn't going to let you die Lieutenant. It's like…a ton of paperwork.
 * Lt. Tyler: [Confused] Paperwork?
 * Col. O'Neill: It's a joke. My way of deflecting attention from my own obvious heroism. You'll get used to it.

 *

 * Lt. Tyler: Why did you return for me? You could have escaped while I distracted them!
 * Col. O'Neill: Because we don't leave our people behind!
 * Lt. Tyler: But I am not one of your people!
 * Col. O'Neill: Coulda fooled me... Actually, you did fool me.

Red Sky [5.5]

 * Maj. Carter: Sir, I've been thinking.
 * Col. O'Neill: I'd be shocked if you ever stopped, Carter.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Carter? What just happened? (She looks up at the sky, confused)
 * Elrad: The Eye of Odin grows dim.
 * Maj. Carter: Some sort of shift in the light frequency.
 * Col. O'Neill: Good. I thought I was having a stroke.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: I have great confidence in you, Carter. Go on back to the SGC and… confuse Hammond.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: However, we do have a smaaall little problem that could use some of that Asgard magic.
 * Freyr: Are you implying that our technology is some kind of trickery?
 * [long pause]
 * Col. O'Neill: You're sure Thor's not around somewhere?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Is it obvious only to me that these people don't want help?

 *

 * Gen. Hammond: [referring to Carter's plan] I thought the odds of success in this scenario were one in a million, Major.
 * Maj. Carter: Yes, sir. But I now think that we can increase that estimate to one percent.
 * Col. O'Neill: It's your call, General. I only understand only one percent of what she says half the time.

 *

 * [Carter explains a plan to Gen. Hammond and Col. O'Neill to save K'Tau]
 * Col. O'Neill: I thought when something was in a wormhole, it existed only as energy,that you needed another Stargate to turn it back into solid matter.
 * Maj. Carter: Actually, you're absolutely correct, sir.
 * [O'Neill stares at Carter and says nothing for few seconds]
 * Col. O'Neill: I am?
 * Maj. Carter: Yes.
 * [While Carter continues to explain, O'Neill turns back to Gen. Hammond and grins]

 *

 * Teal'c: The K'Tau were not convinced?
 * Col. O'Neill: No. [to Jackson] Because you didn't say what needed to be said.
 * Daniel Jackson: Well, what would you have said?
 * [O'Neill walks away]
 * Daniel Jackson: [concerned] Wait, what are you going to say? [he hurries off after O'Neill]

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Daniel and Teal'c?
 * Col. O'Neill: They're in the village. Still trying to convince the folks we're friendly elves.

 *

 * [Col. O'Neill is addressing the Asgard High Council]
 * Col. O'Neill: We made a mistake, a big mistake. And we're very sorry. But we also saved your little grey butts from the replicators, and now we want your help. I'm not asking you to change the course of their cultural development. Just fix the damn sun! No one will know. We won't tell.
 * Daniel Jackson: [aside to Carter] Little gray butts...
 * Maj. Carter: Yeah...
 * One of the Asgard High Council: Unfortunately, we cannot.
 * Col. O'Neill: OK. At the risk of sounding like the petulant inferior race... Why not?!

Rite of Passage [5.6]

 * Cassandra: What do you see when you look at me now?
 * Maj. Carter: I see you. And until your head starts spinning around, and probably even then, I will still see…you.

 *

 * Cassandra: Dominic's waiting.
 * Dr. Fraiser: Fine! Invite him in. I'm sure he'd like to have a piece of birthday cake that Sam went to all the trouble to bake.
 * Maj. Carter: [softly] Buy.
 * Dr. Fraiser: Bring.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Dominic awaits.
 * Cassandra: Stop it.
 * Maj. Carter: Oh come on, that last kiss was impressive.
 * Cassandra: Stop it!
 * Maj. Carter: [grinning] Lights exploded overhead!
 * Cassandra: [blushing and smiling] Stop it!

 *

 * [SG-1 is going through Goa'uld equipment]
 * Col. O'Neill: What is this for?
 * Teal'c: What do you think it is for?
 * Col. O'Neill: Yikes.

Beast of Burden [5.7]

 * [Jackson has just introduced himself and O'Neill as "traders"]
 * Col. O'Neill: Honesty, huh?
 * Daniel Jackson: [defensively] We're traders.
 * Col. O'Neill: [disbelieving] Yeah.
 * Daniel Jackson: We're traders, we've traded, we… trade…

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Daniel, are you okay?
 * Daniel Jackson: Uh, I've been better.
 * Maj. Carter: Col. O'Neill?
 * Daniel Jackson: Uh, physically fine. But, uh, I'm not expecting a birthday present any time soon.

 *

 * Burrock: Now I know for certain there is more out there.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah, I know, the grass always looks cleaner.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Where's Teal'c?
 * Maj. Carter: Trying to be popular.

 *

 * Burrock: It is our custom to welcome travelers with a drink. Will you join us?
 * Col. O'Neill: It is our custom to drink... lead on!

The Tomb [5.8]

 * [Dr. Jackson has just received a telephone call informing him that a Russian SG team will soon be arriving.]
 * Daniel Jackson: [to Maj. Carter and Col. O'Neill] The Russians are coming.

 *

 * Maj. Vallarin: [In Russian] The greatest superpower on Earth, and they can't make a decent cup of coffee.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Are you saying he was eaten alive?
 * Daniel Jackson: The sarcophagus would have done its best to keep him alive, so...it probably would have taken a while.
 * Lt. Tolinev: My God.
 * Col. O'Neill: Okay. That is officially the worst way to go.

 *

 * Maj. Vallarin: Wait here.
 * Daniel Jackson: Yes, you go down the dark hallway alone, and I'll wait here in the dark room alone.

Between Two Fires [5.9]

 * Maj. Carter: Narim, we understand why you're concerned, but those ion cannons could save Earth one day.
 * Daniel Jackson: You're just going to have to trust our people won't blow each other up with them.
 * Col. O'Neill: And if we do, we won't blame you. Promise.
 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Do you people practice being vague?
 *

 * [O'Neill and Jackson are standing outside Narim's house]
 * Col. O'Neill: How do you know this is Narim's house? They all look the same here.
 * [Narim answers the door]
 * Daniel Jackson: 'Cause that's Narim.
 * Col. O'Neill: You're good.
 *

 * Gen. Hammond: What you're sensing as trouble could be simple internal political wrangling.
 * Col. O'Neill: I understand that.
 * Gen. Hammond: Or we could be walking into a minefield.
 * [O'Neill stares at Hammond for a moment]
 * Col. O'Neill: Thank you, Sir. These little chats of ours always bring me...great joy and serve to ease my mind.
 *

 * Gen. Hammond: As far as what you told me, there seems to be an evil conspiracy among the Tollan Curia, whose apparent goal is to give us everything we ever wanted. That makes no sense.
 * Col. O'Neill: That's what I said.
 *

 * Dr. Jackson: So, who are you taking orders from now?
 * Travell: Apparently, the one he serves has no name.
 * Tanith: Oh, he has a name. The likes of you are simply forbidden from knowing it.

2001 [5.10]

 * Gen. Hammond: I take it your mission was successful?
 * Maj. Carter: In a word, sir: yes.
 * Col. O'Neill: In two words: yes, sir.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: They don't get excited in general, General. It's like an entire planet of accountants.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Just when you think you're not in Kansas anymore... turns out y'are.

 *

 * Teal'c: Senator Kinsey appears to be most displeased. [Has a big smile on his face]
 * Col. O'Neill: [flatly] Yeah, that's a cryin' shame, innit?
 *

 * Daniel Jackson: I just hope we don't regret giving them those Gate addresses.
 * Col. O'Neill: I don't think we will, the first one being a black hole and all. They get progressively darker after that.
 *

 * Teal'c: Have you discovered something Daniel Jackson?
 * Dr. Jackson: Oh God, I hope not. Probably, though.

Desperate Measures [5.11]

 * Col. O'Neill: How'd you find me?
 * Maybourne: Played a lot of hide and seek as a kid. Funny, I could always find anyone anywhere but they could never find me.
 * Col. O'Neill: Because they didn't want to.

 *

 * Maybourne: Gonna turn me in?
 * Col. O'Neill: Actually, that overwhelming desire to shoot you has come back.
 *

 * Daniel Jackson: I said I think I just electrocuted myself. Do you have any idea what that feels like?
 * Guard: No.
 * Daniel Jackson: [zats him] Something like that.

 *

 * [Whilst wearing a bulletproof vest Jack gets shot in the arm]:
 * Col. O'Neill: I want sleeves on my vest.

 *

 * Hobo: I'm just a crazy old guy with a shopping cart full of cans.
 * Col. O'Neill: I'm just a cynical Air Force guy with a closet full of National Geographic.
 * Hobo: Can I have them?

Wormhole X-Treme! [5.12]

 * Colonel Danning: "As a matter of fact, it does say Colonel on my uniform."
 * [Ironic because it doesn't say Colonel on his uniform. The line may also be a response to O'Neill's rhetorical question from The First Commandment, where he asks "Does it say 'Colonel' anywhere on my uniform?" after Carter and Connor both refuse his orders.]

 *

 * Martin Lloyd: This is for scene 23? You think they have apples on an alien planet?
 * Prop Master: Why not? They speak English.
 * Martin Lloyd: Look, get some kiwis, and spray-paint them red.
 * Prop Master: [pulls out script] OK, so now it'll go "Nick walks into a garden of kiwi trees, says 'How like Eden this planet is,' and bites into a painted kiwi."
 * Martin Lloyd: OK, you're the prop master, right? So you're a master of props. So...figure it out.
 * (possibly a reference to Beneath the Surface, an episode in which a character is seen eating red kiwis)

 *

 * Dr. Levant: Dammit, just because they're aliens and their skulls are transparent, doesn't mean they don't have rights!

 *

 * [Regarding an explosion]
 * Director: No, no, no, no, no, no. Bigger, much bigger.

 *

 * [Regarding an explosion]
 * Director: No. Look at my lips. Big-ger.

 *

 * [Regarding an explosion]
 * Director: Bigger! What is it about the word "bigger" that you don't understand?

 *

 * Martin Lloyd: I've got a concept meeting in ten minutes, and if I'm not there on time, well... well, they start without me.

 *

 * Director: "Aaaa-aaaa-aaaaand action!"

 *

 * Yolanda Reese: Uh, I'm having trouble with scene 27. It says I'm out of phase, so I can pass my hand through solid matter, or walk through walls.
 * Director: Yeah, yeah, cos you're out of phase.
 * Martin Lloyd: Um, exactly.
 * Yolanda Reese: So, how come I don't fall through the floor?
 * [Long pause, with Director and Martin staring at each other]
 * Martin Lloyd: We'll have to get back to you on that.
 * [This is a reference to sci-fi "out of phase" episodes in general, and Season Three's "Crystal Skull" specifically, when an out-of-phase Jackson could walk through people and walls, yet was seen at one point sitting on a cabinet.]

 *

 * Writer: We could always go back to the way it was in the script.
 * Director: No, we can't. We've already established that one shot stuns and two shots kills, and Victor shot everybody twice.
 * Martin Lloyd: So three shots disintegrates them!
 * Director: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. [walks away] [this is an obvious reference to the way Zat guns originally worked]
 * Martin Lloyd: [to writer] Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot? Why are you even on set? Go write something!

 *

 * Maj. Carter: I don't know what happened, sir, we lost him. I mean, one minute he was here, the next minute he was gone.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah, they have a habit of doing that.

 *

 * Greenburg: [admiring a real space ship] Cool special effect.
 * Wright: I've seen better.
 * Greenburg: Ah, we'll fix it in post.
 * Wright: Yeah. So, you think we can get eighteen in?
 * Greenburg: Yeah, if we cut back on the Mulligans…You think that's funny?
 * Wright: Yeah, that's good enough for a walk away.
 * Greenburg: When's a good time to fade out?
 * Wright: Eh, right about…now.
 * [scene fades out]

 *

 * [At the end of the show is a "behind the scenes look" at the creation of Wormhole X-Treme!]
 * Bocher: I'm Christian Bocher. I'm portraying the character of Raymond Gunne, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant, which is based on the character Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader…in the feature film...Uh, are you okay?

 *

 * [In the behind-the-scenes look]
 * Peter DeLuise: You realize this is not a real show.
 * Michael DeLuise: You saying Wormhole X-Treme isn't real? All this is...?
 * Peter DeLuise: It's not a real show. It's a fake show.
 * Michael DeLuise: Did my agent know about this?
 * Michael DeLuise: Am I getting paid real money?
 * Douglas Anders:Science fiction is an existential metaphor that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said, “Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinded critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all.

Proving Ground [5.13]

 * Maj. Carter: Uh, sir, if you don't mind, your wound is getting all over my lab.

 *

 * [As part of a training scenario for new recruits, Jackson is occupying Hammond's office.]
 * Daniel Jackson: [sitting in Hammond's chair] Oh, I have to tell you, I like this scenario way better than the last one. Have you tried this chair? This is like…really comfortable. [pounds the chair's arm to prove it]

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: [ominously] Have fun, Daniel.
 * Daniel Jackson: Yeah, you did tell them to take me prisoner this time and not shoot me, right? Right? [no answer]  Hello?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: [Gets up off the ground] So! We're all dead! And there's an armed Goa'uld on the loose... I got a problem with that. Anyone else got a problem with that?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: You hesitated Lieutenant.
 * Elliot: I was assessing the situation, sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: Okay, we all ended up dead. Assess that.
 * Elliot: I stopped to argue with Grogan and lost control of the situation.
 * Col. O'Neill: And that wasn't even your first mistake. (Jack points at Satterfield) What's your excuse?
 * Satterfield: I didn't believe Dr Jackson was a Goa'uld.
 * Maj. Carter: Why not, Satterfield?
 * Satterfield: I don't know, ma'am. That was just my instinct.
 * Haley: She thinks he's cute.

 * Col. O'Neill: Okay, so one of your team members distracted you into getting shot by the enemy and you want to poke holes in the training scenario?
 * Elliot: It wasn't a fair test.
 * Col. O'Neill: There's such a thing as over-thinking a situation, Lieutenant. When you're dealing with what we deal with, you've got to think on your feet and think fast. These and other cliches will be available to you all for one more day of training with me. After that, you'll either be assigned to an SG team or not. Dismissed.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Grogan. He'll make a fine addition to an SG team one day.
 * Col. O'Neill: He'll make a fine target. He's good at getting shot.
 * Maj. Carter: (laughs) Okay, Satterfield's bright.
 * Col. O'Neill: I give her high marks for her... high marks. I'd never go into combat with her.
 * Maj. Carter: Then there's Haley...
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh yeah. Four foot nine fightin' machine.
 * Maj. Carter: (laughs) Colonel...
 * Col. O'Neill: All right. Fine. They're the future of the Air Force, the program, the entire planet. God help us.
 * Maj. Carter: Try to remember when you were in their shoes.
 * Col. O'Neill: I wore boots.
 * Maj. Carter: Think back to when you were their age.
 * Col. O'Neill: I was never their age.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: They didn't take corridor C19 like you told them to.
 * Col. O'Neill: Crafty little buggers.

 *

 * Lt. Grogan: We kicked ass!
 * Col. O'Neill: You got yourself shot again Grogan, don't be so cocky.

48 Hours [5.14]

 * Col. Maybourne: Hi, Jack.
 * Col. O'Neill: You rat bastard!
 * Col. Maybourne: Hey, hey, hey... take it easy...
 * Col. O'Neill: I am so gonna kick your ass!
 * Col. Maybourne: There's people watching!
 * Col. O'Neill: I don't care!
 * Col. Maybourne: It wasn't me! I didn't shoot ya Jack!
 * Col. O'Neill: Then who did?!
 * Col. Maybourne: I don't know.
 * Col. O'Neill: What do you know?!
 * Col. Maybourne: Only what I read in the NID file, that you were shot and the Goa'uld escaped.
 * Col. O'Neill: You came all the way back to Colorado Springs to tell me ya didn't do it?
 * Col. Maybourne: I didn't think you'd believe me any other way.

 *

 * Col. Maybourne: I'll be in town for a couple of days. I'd like to see how things turn out. I'm at the Accent Inn checked in under the name Cassidy.
 * Col. O'Neill: David or Shaun?
 * Col. Maybourne: Butch.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: What makes you think I care if you live or die?
 * Conrad/Goa'uld: What about the host?
 * Col. O'Neill: He tried to kill a friend of mine to save his own ass so I don't much care about him either.
 * Conrad/Goa'uld: If you kill me, Teal'c dies.
 * Col. O'Neill: Give me another choice.
 * Conrad/Goa'uld: Let me go. Once I am free, I will contact you with the information.
 * Col. O'Neill: I think Teal'c would rather I shoot you.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Is there any chance you can get the Russians to give us their DHD?
 * Dr. Jackson: Not without giving back Alaska.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: That's how the Pentagon came up with the 48 hour limit, isn't it? You told them Teal'c would be dead.
 * Dr. McKay: That's why it's called a deadline.

 *

 * Dr. McKay: I guess that we got off on the wrong foot.
 * Maj. Carter: What probability factor did you use figuring that out?

 *

 * Dr. McKay: Wish I didn't find you so attractive. I always had a weakness for dumb blondes.
 * Maj. Carter: [referring to McKay's citrus allergy] Go suck a lemon.
 * Dr. McKay: Very sexy. Very, very sexy

 *

 * [The Russian DHD explodes.]
 * Dr. Jackson: Wow. That never happened in the simulations.

Summit [5.15]

 * Osiris: (in a female voice) What are you proposing? An alliance?
 * Zipacna: (in a Normal Male Voice) No. But I am offering you a position of power in exchange for your support.
 * Osiris: (in a female voice) [haughtily] Osiris serves no one. You least of all.
 * Zipacna: (in a Normal Male Voice) You once served Isis.
 * Osiris: (in a female voice) [defensive] She was my queen. She served me.
 * Zipacna: (in a Normal Male Voice) Interesting. Interesting that you now choose a female host. A most attractive one at that.
 * Osiris: (in a female voice) You waste my time.
 * Zipacna: (in a Normal Male Voice) You misunderstand. I am not asking you to serve me. I must admit that I am an emmisary for a much more powerful Goa'uld..one you once knew quite well.
 * Osiris: (in a female voice) Of whom do you speak?
 * Zipacna: (in a Normal Male Voice) Anubis.
 *

 * Col. O'Neill: It's always suicide mission this, save the planet that. No one ever just stops by to say "hi" any more.
 *

 * Maj. Carter: You're talking about taking out the entire Goa'uld leadership?
 * Ren'au: (in a female voice) We are.
 * Col. O'Neill: Welcome to the Dark Side.
 *

 * Lt. Elliot: Maybe not sir, but I am looking forward to meeting the Tok'ra
 * Col. O'Neill: You'll get over it
 *

 * Jacob: [to Jackson] Yu will be among the System Lords attending the meeting.
 * Maj. Carter: I thought you said he'd be going in as a slave?
 * Jacob: The System Lord Yu.
 * Maj. Carter: Little joke there.
 * Col. O'Neill: [sarcastic] Funny!
 *

 * [Jacob is explaining how to use the Re'ol ring]
 * Jacob: Just don't jab yourself with it.
 * Daniel Jackson: Why?
 * Jacob: Actually I don't know exactly. That in itself should scare you.
 *

 * Ren'au: (in a female voice) I'm cutting power to the base. The energy signature would give away our position. Now they'll have to resort to random bombardment.
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, that's encouraging.
 *

 * Ren'au: (in a female voice) We will die before we give up our secrets.
 * Col. O'Neill: You know, we really should come up with a new strategy. One that does not include us dying.
 *

 * Jacob: Daniel? How's it going?
 * Dr. Jackson: Oh, swell. It's kinda like Goa'uld Mardi Gras here.

Last Stand [5.16]

 * Dr. Jackson: You'd think a race advanced enough to fly around in space ships would be smart enough to have seat belts, huh?
 * Jacob: We just prefer not to crash.
 *

 * Selmak: (in an Old Man Voice) If it really is Anubis...
 * Daniel Jackson: Then killing all the System Lords would just open the way for him to take over completely. You always said that a bunch of warring System Lords was better than one all powerful one, so...
 * Selmak: (in an Old Man Voice) You do not understand how bad Anubis is. He was banished by the System Lords because his crimes were unspeakable, even to the Goa'uld.
 *

 * [Carter is reprogramming a Tok'ra sensor]
 * Maj. Carter: That's it. I'm done.
 * Col. O'Neill: How do we know if its working?
 * Maj. Carter: Well, I guess we'll know if someone comes and rescues us.

Fail Safe [5.17]

 * Maj. Carter: The asteroid has an irregular shape, but we've calculated its length from end-to-end to be approximately 137 kilometers.
 * Col. O'Neill: I've seen this movie. It hits Paris.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: And when Earth gets hit by that rock and we're all wiped out, that's gonna be unfortunate too?
 * Freyr: Very.
 * [Cut to briefing room; Hammond and SG1 are sitting around the table.]
 * Col. O'Neill: ... and after that I kinda lost my temper.
 * Gen. Hammond: What exactly does that mean?
 * Daniel Jackson: Let's just say Jack made a reference to Freyr's mother.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Ah, they'll fix it up.
 * Daniel Jackson: I'm confident.
 * Col. O'Neill: Me too.
 * Teal'c: As am I.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: We're about ready to attempt an engine start, sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah fine. Assume there isn't one what?
 * Maj. Carter: Recall device.
 * Col. O'Neill: The X301? That was you guys?
 * Webber: You have to admit it performed beautifully right up until the point you and Teal'c were sent into deep space.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah!

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Well I'm just slightly concerned that if we push them too hard, and they burn out before we reach escape velocity that… we'll come crashing back to the planet.
 * Daniel Jackson: I'm confident.
 * Col. O'Neill: Me too.
 * Teal'c: As am I.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Oh come on! We came, we saw, we planted a bomb, we had a little fun with a meteor shower, we went home. It's a great story! Isn't it?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: So, what happens when that bomb goes off?
 * Maj. Carter: Well, the explosion will be enhanced by the naqahdah, probably to the force of a small nova. This close to Earth, it would be enough to set the atmosphere on fire and boil the oceans.
 * Col. O'Neill: Okay, this was not in the movie.

 *

 * [After discovering that every wire in their nuclear bomb is yellow, when they were expecting the one wire they need to defuse to be red]
 * Col. O'Neill: You know, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that this is a very poorly designed bomb, and I think we should say something to somebody about it when we get back.
 * Maj. Carter: I agree sir.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: If it comes right down to it, we can detonate it right here. What's our position?
 * Dr. Jackson: Well, personally I'm against it. If you want to know where the ship is....

 *

 * [The asteroid is speeding towards Earth]
 * Col. O'Neill [urging Maj. Carter]: Carter, I can see my house!

The Warrior [5.18]

 * [Bra'tac and Teal'c have just finished making a recommendation to SG-1]
 * Col. O'Neill: Deliverance...Do you guys have any idea what happened to the guys in that movie?
 * Bra'tac: I do not.
 *

 * K'tano: I honor he who would kill his god. And to his brethren of the Tau'ri. Slayers of Ra, Hathor, Setesh, Heru'ur, Sokar, Cronus and Apophis.
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, somebody's been keeping score! Col. Jack O'Neill.
 * K'tano: A familiar name. Cursed by every Goa'uld. Imhotep himself declared your days were numbered.
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, that's fine. As long as it's a very big number.
 *

 * Daniel Jackson: "Tek Ma Tae" is a greeting of respect.
 * Col. O'Neill: (Shakes head) OK
 * Daniel Jackson: I'm just saying.
 * Col. O'Neill: I don't care.
 * Daniel Jackson: Okay.
 * Rak'nor: This is Samantha Carter, Daniel, and their leader Colonel O'Neill. Tek Ma Tae.
 * Col. O'Neill: Back at ya.
 * Dr. Jackson: (Looks at Jack with triumph)
 * Rak'nor: Backacha.
 * (Jack and Daniel make funny faces)

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: This [holds up a staff weapon] is a weapon of terror. It's made to intimidate the enemy. This [holds up a P-90] is a weapon of war. It's made to kill the enemy.
 *

 * K'tano: I see you are one who speaks your mind, O'Neill.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes, which is why I don't say much.
 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Well, they have no problem with dying. I do.
 * Daniel Jackson: You have a problem with dying, or that they have no problem with dying?
 * Col. O'Neill: Both...I think
 *

 * [K'tano walks out amid a fire fight]
 * Col. O'Neill: What are you doing?!
 * Rak'nor: He does not know fear!
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah, well, he knows stupid!
 *

 * K'tano: Beg for mercy.
 * Teal'c: I die free.
 * K'tano: (leaning down and whispering into Teal'c's ear) You die at the hands of your god, (Normal voice) Imhotep!

Menace [5.19]

 * Col. O'Neill: Now what?
 * Maj. Carter: I don't know. I mean the power cells should be fully charged. As far as I can tell there isn't an on switch. It's possible the power was depleted for too long.
 * [Jack looks at Daniel]
 * Col. O'Neill: Why don't you kiss her?
 *

 * [Carter is inspecting an inert gynoid.]
 * Maj. Carter: There's a pulse.
 * Daniel Jackson: It has a heartbeat?
 * Col. O'Neill: It has a heart?
 *

 * Dr. Jackson: I don't think she knows she's a robot.
 * Col. O'Neill: Okay, how is that possible?
 * Dr. Jackson: Well, the last time your consciousness was downloaded into an android, you didn't figure it out right away.
 *

 * Daniel Jackson: She's kind of hard to pin down in a conversation, her attention wanders. It's like she has the mind of a child.
 * [Everyone stares at O'Neill, who is playing with a magnifying glass and making faces]
 * Col. O'Neill: What?
 *

 * Daniel Jackson: Okay, Reece, you know that there are different kinds of people, right?
 * Reece: Yes.
 * Daniel Jackson: In fact there are many different kinds of life forms.
 * Reece: This is boring.
 * Col. O'Neill: I'm starting to identify with this girl more and more.
 *

 * [Jackson is being treated for a concussion]
 * Daniel Jackson: I don't think she meant to hurt me. I just don't think she liked what I was saying.
 * Col. O'Neill: I don't like most of what you say. I try to resist the urge to shove you through a wall.
 *

 * Soldier: Colonel, you said to look for anything uncharacteristic of the indigenous technology, right?
 * Col. O'Neill: I would never say anything like that.
 *

 * [O'Neill has just shot Reese]
 * Daniel Jackson: You stupid sonovabitch.
 * Col. O'Neill: Hey. You're welcome.
 * Daniel Jackson: You didn't have to shoot her.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes, I did.
 * Daniel Jackson: She was shutting them down.
 * Col. O'Neill: I had no way of knowing that and neither did you.
 * Daniel Jackson: They didn't stop because you shot her. They stopped because she told them to.
 * Col. O'Neill: Carter said she was losing control. Now if just one of those damn things got out of this base, developed its own personality, we would be royally screwed.
 * Daniel Jackson: You just killed the only chance we'll ever have of stopping them.

The Sentinel [5.20]

 * Grieves: I'll say this again: I don't like the thought of going into this unarmed.
 * Col. O'Neill: And…I don't care.
 * Kershaw: [sarcastically] I feel better just knowing there's an archaeologist watching our backs.
 * Daniel Jackson: [holding up his knife, sarcastically] Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again?

 *

 * Daniel Jackson: Just out of curiosity, how many years did you take off their sentence if they managed to fix this?
 * Col. O'Neill: Actually, they'll get a few more years out of this.
 * Daniel Jackson: More?
 * Col. O'Neill: They were on death row.

Meridian [5.21]

 * Col. O'Neill: [concerning Jonas] He was a nerd, sir. He and Daniel got along great.

 *

 * Gen. Hammond: I will draft a letter to the Kelownan leader—
 * Col. O'Neill: General, you cannot capitulate to these people. They are lying bastards.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: I only agreed to bring that letter so I could see you.
 * Jonas: Why?
 * Col. O'Neill: Because Daniel is dying.
 * Jonas: And you're looking for someone to blame?
 * Col. O'Neill: I'm not gonna let you tarnish his name. See, I don't care what that stuff is worth, to anyone. My government will admit Daniel is guilty over my dead body.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: I'm really bad at this.
 * Daniel Jackson: Yes, you are.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: You're not gonna take the fall for this. I don't care what's at stake.
 * Daniel Jackson: Why do you care?
 * Col. O'Neill: Because, despite the fact that you've been a terrific pain in the ass for the last five years, I may have... might have... uh, grown to admire you a little.... I think.
 * Daniel Jackson: [dryly] Now that's touching.
 * Col. O'Neill: [insistent] This will not be your last act on official record.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: You have an effect on people, Daniel. The way you look at things, it changed me too. I see what really matters. I don't know why we wait to tell people how we really feel. I guess I hoped that you always knew.

 *

 * Teal'c: If you are to die, Daniel Jackson, I wish you to know that I believe that the fight against the Goa'uld will have lost one of its greatest warriors. And I will have lost one of my greatest friends.

 *

 * Jonas: No offense, I'm just more interested in what's out there, through the Stargate.
 * Daniel Jackson: Well, all I can say is, whatever problems there are between your planet's nations, they will seem insignificant when you do find out what's going on out there.

 *

 * Oma: Because it is so clear it takes a long time to realize it. If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago.
 * Daniel Jackson: Yeah, yeah, a monk at Kheb said that to me. I didn't know what it meant then and I still don't know now.

 *

 * Oma: The universe is vast, and we are so small. In the end, there is only one thing we can truly control.
 * Daniel Jackson: Yeah, what's that?
 * Oma: Whether we are good, or evil.

 *

 * Daniel Jackson: I'm gonna miss you guys.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah, you too.
 * Daniel Jackson: Thank you. For everything.
 * Col. O'Neill: So, what? See you around?
 * Daniel Jackson: I don't know.
 * Col. O'Neill: Hey… where are you going?
 * Daniel Jackson: I don't know.

Revelations [5.22]

 * Teal'c: Are you not all right, Major Carter?
 * Maj. Carter: I'm fine.
 * Teal'c: You continue to mourn the loss of Daniel Jackson.
 * Maj. Carter: Yeah, I do. Tell me I'm not the only one.
 * Teal'c: I will perform the proper rituals when the opportunity presents itself. Until that time, this mission must take priority.
 * Maj. Carter: [exasperated] Please, Teal'c. Don't give me that "way of the warrior" crap. I get enough of that from Col. O'Neill.
 * Teal'c: Daniel Jackson has ascended to a higher plane of existence. Many Jaffa have dedicated their lives to achieving such a goal.
 * Maj. Carter: [bitterly] So I'm supposed to celebrate?
 * Teal'c: It is a great accomplishment.
 * Maj. Carter: We were a team, Teal'c. No one can even begin to understand what we went through together, what we mean to each other. So maybe Daniel has achieved something of great cosmic significance, I don't know. And to be honest with you, right now, I don't really care. I'd rather have him back.
 * Teal'c: [with obvious emotion] As would I.
 *

 * Heimdall: In fact, for nearly a thousand years, we have been physically incapable of achieving cell division through meiosis.
 * Col. O'Neill: Hmm?
 * Maj. Carter: Sexual reproduction, Sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: Ah. [To Heimdall, shocked] A thousand years?
 * Heimdall: It is not something we usually discuss with other races.
 * Col. O'Neill: This I understand.
 *

 * Anubis: This device will be implanted into your brain. It will form a link between your mind and the ship's computer. Your knowledge will simply be downloaded. You will no doubt resist, and you will no doubt fail.
 * Thor: The Goa'uld possess no such technology.
 * Anubis: I think you will find many things have changed since my return.
 *

 * Col. O'Neill: I can't believe they took my watch.
 *

 * Teal'c: ...our chances of escape are negligible.
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh, I don't know. All we've gotta do is bust out of here, take out every Jaffa between here and the pel'tak, commandeer the ship and fly on home. [makes little flying motion with his hand] Fly on home...
 * Teal'c: [raises eyebrow] I stand corrected.
 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Okay, next time, I'm the hologram.
 *

 * Osiris: (in a female voice) [torturing Sam with a hand device] Once more: Where is Dr. Jackson?
 * Maj. Carter: He's dead.
 * Osiris: (in a female voice) You're lying.
 * Maj. Carter: Go to hell.
 *

 * [Teal'c and Col O'Neill are looking at a panel of control crystals]
 * Teal'c: Perhaps we should take them all.
 * Col. O'Neill: Here's a thought.
 * [O'Neill shoots the crystals with a staff weapon]
 *

 * Freyr: This is Freyr of The Asgard. The vessels you face are far superior to the ones you attacked.
 * Freyr: Challenge us at your own peril.

title: Stargate SG-1/Season 5


text:
Stargate SG-1/Season 6

 * Season 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Stargate: The Ark of Truth | Stargate: Continuum | Main

Stargate SG-1 (1997–2007) is an American television series about a secret military team, SG-1, that is formed to explore other planets through the recently discovered Stargates. The show, created by Brad Wright and Jonathan Glassner, is based on the 1994 science fiction film Stargate by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich.

Redemption Part 1 [6.1]

 * Gen. Hammond: Col. Checkov feels that as a symbol of our joint efforts, a Russian officer should be assigned to join SG-1.
 * Col. O'Neill: Over my rotting corpse, Sir.
 * Gen. Hammond: [sternly] Colonel…
 * Col. O'Neill: [innocently] I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?
 * Gen. Hammond: I said I would discuss it with you and that I was sure you would give it some careful thought.
 * Col. O'Neill: And that I will, General, but I'm still pretty sure I'll say, "Bite me."

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Hammond is insisting SG-1 needs a socio-political nerd to offset our overwhelming coolness.
 * Teal'c: Have you considered Jonas Quinn?
 * Col. O'Neill: Now I know you've been practicing, but I still can't tell… is that a joke?
 * Teal'c: He wishes to join the fight against the Goa'uld.
 * Col. O'Neill: He's an al --
 * Teal'c: [raises eyebrow]
 * Col. O'Neill: [embarrassed] -- lien.

 *

 * Dr. McKay: Still sexy as ever I see.
 * Maj. Carter: What are you doing here?
 * Dr. McKay: Well, there is no point of building naquadah reactors for Russia if there isn't going to be a Russia, is there? The Pentagon thought you... might need some help.
 * Maj. Carter: Not from you.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Navigation?
 * Col. O'Neill: Check.
 * Maj. Carter: Oxygen pressure, temperature control?
 * Col. O'Neill: All Check.
 * Maj. Carter: Inertial dampeners?
 * Col. O'Neill: Cool! ...and check.
 * Maj. Carter: Engines?
 * Col. O'Neill: All check. Phasers?
 * Maj. Carter: (smiling) Sorry, sir.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Sir, the simulations we ran anticipated every conceivable scenario.
 * Col. O'Neill: You know, Carter, it's the inconceivable ones I'm concerned about.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: [while driving the X-302 onto the tarmac] Too bad we can't drive all the way to Abydos, this thing handles like a Cadillac on the ground.

 *

 * [Col. O'Neill finds Carter sitting in her lab]
 * Col. O'Neill: I thought you'd be down stairs working this thing out with all the other egg-heads.
 * [Carter gives O'Neill a look]
 * Col. O'Neill: Not that you're an egg-head. [Pauses] OK, you are, actually, but in a good way.
 * Maj. Carter: I couldn't think down there. They all kept looking at me for the answer.
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, you do have a penchant for pulling brilliant ideas out of your butt.
 * [Carter gives O'Neill a look]
 * Col. O'Neill: Head! Out of your head.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: You have a habit of seeing things... [Hesitates]...in their simplest form.
 * [pause]
 * Col. O'Neill: I'm gonna go eat some cake.
 * Maj. Carter: I think I'll join you.

 *

 * [A hologram of Anubis appears in front of the Stargate]'
 * Anubis: I am Anubis.
 * Maj. Carter: [to O'Neill] It looks like a hologram projection, sir.
 * Anubis: Humans of the Tau'ri. Your end of days finally approaches. There will be no mercy.
 * Col. O'Neill: [to Maj. Carter] Oh, come on. Who talks like that?
 * Maj. Carter: Sir, this is Asgard technology. He must have downloaded it from Thor.
 * Anubis: You will bow to my awesome power. There is nothing that can stop the destruction I bring upon you. Prepare to meet your doom.
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh, please.

 * [About the failed mission with the X-302]
 * Maj. Carter: They're still analyzing the flight data recorder, but it looks like a 605-3 error.
 * Gen. Hammond: Forgive me?
 * Col. O'Neill: It's the one after 605-2, sir.

Redemption Part 2 [6.2]

 * Dr. McKay: [about Anubis] Has a real flair for the dramatic, doesn't he? Very theatrical.
 * Maj. Carter: Yeah, pretty much all the Goa'uld are like that.
 * Dr. McKay: But, why wait? Why does this guy show up a day and a half after this all starts to do his whole "prepare to meet your doom" thing?
 * Maj. Carter: I don't know, maybe he wanted to make sure it was gonna work.
 * Dr. McKay: Yeah, that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? [pretending to be Anubis] "Nothing can stop the destruction that I bring upon you!" And then the Gate shuts down. [again pretending to be Anubis] "Oops, sorry, never mind."
 * Maj. Carter: Yeah, well, that didn't happen, and we only have fifty-four hours left.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: So, what? We call Anubis up and ask him to stop?
 * Dr. McKay: Yeah, "Hey, Anubis, this is your agent, you're playing it way over the top, can you get serious, please?"

 *

 * Maj. Carter: For the record, I hate you.
 * Dr. McKay: Well, it can't get any worse, then, can it?
 * Maj. Carter: Oh, no I'm rapidly working up to despise.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: (sarcastically) If I'm going to take credit for this, shouldn't the EM pulse generator be pointed at the Gate?

 *

 * [McKay goes to visit Carter in the infirmary, as she recovers from electrical burns]
 * Dr. McKay: Hi.
 * Maj. Carter: Oh, man, and I was just starting to feel better.
 * Dr. McKay: [takes a deep breath, appearing to be relaxing] I always wanted to be a pianist.
 * Maj. Carter: [Thinking McKay said "penis"] Excuse me?
 * Dr. McKay: A concert pianist --- you know, a guy who plays the piano [he mimes playing the piano] in front of lots of people?
 * Maj. Carter: [Sam smiles] Right.
 * Dr. McKay: What did you think I said?
 * Maj. Carter: Never mind.
 * Dr. McKay: I had a not-so-comfortable childhood. My parents hated each other. Blamed me. Music was my salvation. It had this ... perfect order for me.
 * Maj. Carter: [smiles, patronizing] That's nice, really.
 * Dr. McKay: When I was 12, my teacher told me to quit. A fine clinical player, he said, but no sense of the art whatsoever.
 * Maj. Carter: Why are you telling me this?
 * Dr. McKay: I'm just ... trying to bond.
 * Maj. Carter: Why?
 * Dr. McKay: Hospital gowns turn me on. [He smiles] I turned to science because I thought it would be different than music, but it isn't. It's just the same, it's just as much of an art as anything else.
 * Maj. Carter: Look, it's not your fault that the EM pulse didn't work.
 * Dr. McKay: You're an artist, Major. Maybe the best I've ever seen. I'm just critical because I'm jealous.
 * Maj. Carter: I'm touched, really. I wish I had a brilliant plan to draw up for you.
 * Dr. McKay: And you're funny, too. Even electrocuted. I mean, I've ... I've got nothing.
 * Maj. Carter: You're creeping me out, McKay.

 *

 * [McKay looks down into the gate room, where Jonas is staring at the gate]
 * Dr. McKay: What do you think the little alien guy's doing down there?
 * [Sam goes down to the gate room]
 * Maj. Carter: Bet you regret coming here now.
 * Jonas Quinn: Can't really look at it that way, can we?
 * Maj. Carter: So... what are you doing?
 * Jonas Quinn: You know, it's the stupidest thing, but it's been bugging me since I got here.
 * Maj. Carter: What's that?
 * Jonas Quinn: We're inside a mountain. The gate obviously can't fit through any of these doors...
 * Maj. Carter: So how did it get in here? The ceiling retracts. [She points] Above it is a shaft that leads to the surface, and inside is a crane mechanism that hoisted the gate down.
 * Jonas Quinn: Interesting. Does it go up?

 *

 * Maj. Carter: They're working on lightening the 302, but that's why you're going alone. Believe it or not, every pound counts.
 * Col. O'Neill: I shouldn't have had that cake.
 * Maj. Carter: I wish I could go with you Sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes, I'm sure you do. [Stepping in the elevator] And I find that quite bizarre.

 *

 * [Carter kisses McKay on the cheek]
 * Dr. McKay: [thrilled] That means you don't hate me.
 * Major Carter: Maybe. Too bad for you.
 * Dr. McKay: Why?
 * Major Carter: I was more attracted to you when I did.

 *

 * [Hammond is packing up his office. O'Neill picks up a lamp.]
 * Col. O'Neill: You sure you want to take this with you, sir?
 * Gen. Hammond: We're closed for business. I was supposed to retire five years ago. We don't know how long it's going to be before we can re-establish the Stargate Program, if ever.
 * Col. O'Neill: Actually, I just meant, it says "Property of US Air Force" on it.

Descent [6.3]

 * Col. O'Neill: Next time we crash our brand new mothership, what do you say we do it in the tropics?
 * Maj. Carter: Actually, sir, it wouldn't make a difference. At this depth, all water is ice cold.
 * Col. O'Neill: Shallower water, then…shallower.
 * Maj. Carter: Yes, sir. I'll keep that in mind.
 * Col. O'Neill: Or we could just not crash at all. It would be nice to keep our nice new mothership more than a couple of hours.
 * Maj. Carter: Yes sir.

 *

 * [Col. O'Neill and Carter resurface after almost drowning]
 * Maj. Carter: [Speaking into her radio] Dad? We're alright.
 * Col. O'Neill: Tell him I take back everything I was thinking while I was underwater.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Next mothership we keep, okay?

 *

 * [O'Neill and Jonas have just escaped the mothership in a death glider. Jonas is smiling.]
 * Col. O'Neill: [suspiciously] Are you smiling?
 * Jonas: First time in a death glider.
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh! Well… [starts flying crazy]

 *

 * Jacob Carter: You know, sometimes I get a little concerned that you're gonna get my favorite planet wiped out.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes. What planet is that?

 *

 * Jonas: Those of us not originally from the planet Earth...got to stick together, right?
 * Teal'c: Are you suggesting an alien conspiracy?
 * Jonas: No...oh...Of course, yes. I...I was warned about your occasional use of humor. It'...Got me!
 * [Teal'c stares at Jonas absolutely serious. Jonas frowns.]
 * Jonas: No conspiracy!

 *

 * Teal'c: [into radio] The crew appears to have abandoned ship.
 * Gen. Hammond: That's good to hear. I don't mind telling you that we've been holding our breath down here.
 * Teal'c: That is most unwise.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: I have to go blow something up.

 *

 * [After an explosion]
 * Maj. Davis: That was loud.
 * Col. O'Neill: What?

Frozen [6.4]

 * Dr. Michaels: Hi. It's nice to finally meet you, Major.
 * Maj. Carter: You too. Dr. Michaels, this is Dr. Fraiser.
 * Dr. Michaels: Doctor.
 * Dr. Fraiser: Doctor.
 * Dr. Michaels: [also introducing] Uh…Drs. Woods and Osbourne.
 * Dr. Fraiser: Doctor.
 * Dr. Woods: Doctor.
 * Dr. Osbourne: Major.
 * Maj. Carter: Doctor.
 * Woods: Major.
 * Dr. Fraiser: Doctor.
 * Col. O'Neill: All right. That's enough.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: D'oh!
 * Teal'c: What is it, O'Neill?
 * Col. O'Neill: I forgot to tape The Simpsons...
 * [Teal'c stares at O'Neill, seemingly not understanding]
 * Col. O'Neill: It's important to me!
 * [Teal'c leaves, apparently thinking O'Neill is nuts]

 *

 * Dr. Michaels: That's impossible!
 * Maj. Carter: We've seen stranger.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Listen. Could somebody bottom-line this for me?
 * Dr. Fraiser: Well, Sir, we could be looking at evidence that human beings evolved long before we thought they did.
 * Dr. Michaels: And maybe not even originally on this planet.
 * Col. O'Neill: Darwin would be crushed.

Nightwalkers [6.5]

 * [Jonas is having a burger, fries, and milkshake for lunch. Sam arrives just in time to see him dunk a fry in the shake and eat it.]
 * Maj. Carter: Nice… lunch.
 * Jonas: Mmmm. I'm really starting to enjoy this "traditional American food".
 * Maj. Carter: We have another tradition. It's called "hardened arteries".

 *

 * Jonas: Don't tell me you haven't noticed how strange the people have been acting around here.
 * Maj. Carter: What are you talking about?
 * Jonas: Well for instance, that man there right behind Teal'c, he doesn't realize it, but he just put eight cubes of sugar into his coffee, and that lady over at the counter, she's been reading the same article for half an hour. Since we sat down, that waitress has dropped her tray twice and the cook has done three wrong orders including my hamburger, which I ordered medium rare, but is in fact well done. It's like the whole town is half asleep.

Abyss [6.6]

 * Ba'al: Who are you?
 * Col. O'Neill: You go first.
 * Ba'al: [picking up a knife] You claim you do not know me?
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, take no offense there, Skippy, I'm sure you're a real hot, important Goa'uld, I've just always been kind of out of the loop with the snake thing.
 * Ba'al: I am Ba'al.
 * Col. O'Neill: That's it? Just "Ball"? As in "bocce"?
 * Ba'al: Do you not know the pain you will suffer for this impudence? [aims the knife at Jack]
 * Col. O'Neill: I don't know the meaning of the word. Seriously. "Impudence." What does that mean?

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: Hi, Jack. [waves]
 * Col. O'Neill: Daniel?
 * Dr. Jackson: I leave and look at the mess you get yourself into.

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: It's good to see you.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah. You too. Shame you're a delusion.
 * Dr. Jackson: No, I'm here. I'm...really here.
 * Col. O'Neill: Sure you are.
 * [O'Neill removes his shoe and tosses it at Jackson. The shoe passes right through him]
 * Dr. Jackson: Here in the sense that my consciousness is here, if not here in the full physical flesh and blood sense, which is really...neither...here nor there. The point is, you're not imagining this.
 * Col. O'Neill: I just tossed my shoe through you!

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: I'm energy now…
 * Col. O'Neill: How's that workin' out for ya?
 * Dr. Jackson: Good, actually. Very…
 * Col. O'Neill: Good.
 * Dr. Jackson: Very good.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: So show me your stuff. Bust me out of here.
 * Dr. Jackson: I can't…
 * Col. O'Neill: Why not?
 * Dr. Jackson: I'm not allowed to interfere.
 * Col. O'Neill: You're interfering right now.
 * Dr. Jackson: No, I'm not.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes, you are.
 * Dr. Jackson: No, I'm not. I am consoling a friend.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: So… you wanna be my Oma?
 * Dr. Jackson: You could put it that way. I mean, I wouldn't, but maybe that's just me.

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: Jack, who are you talking to?
 * Col. O'Neill: The woman.
 * Dr. Jackson: [looks up] There's nobody there.
 * Col. O'Neill: Look who's talking.

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: Come on, Jack. Y-You think the Asgard named a-a ship after you because they thought it was a cool name? Now's not the time to play dumb, you're a lot smarter than that. They saw our potential in you…because of who you are and what you've done. Humanity's potential. That's the same thing Oma saw in me.
 * Col. O'Neill: I am not you.
 * Dr. Jackson: Yeah, when has that ever stopped you from doing anything?
 * Col. O'Neill: Okay… put yourself in my shoes and me in yours.
 * Dr. Jackson: You'd be here for me.
 * Col. O'Neill: Damn straight! I'd have busted you out, blown this rat hole to hell and made sure that son-of-a-bitch suffered!
 * Dr. Jackson: The Others would have stopped you.
 * Col. O'Neill: They'd have a hell of a fight on their hands.
 * Dr. Jackson: You wouldn't do that.
 * Col. O'Neill: Ba'al would be dead.
 * Dr. Jackson: Jack—
 * Col. O'Neill: And don't think I'd stop there!
 * Dr. Jackson: [forcefully] You're a better man than that!
 * Col. O'Neill: [yelling] That's where you're wrong!
 *

 * Dr. Jackson: What I'm offering you is your only way out.
 * Col. O'Neill: You're wrong about that too. I have another choice.
 * Dr. Jackson: What are you talking about?
 * [O'Neill gives Jackson a significant look]
 * Dr. Jackson: No.
 * Col. O'Neill: Any minute, they're gonna come. Ba'al is gonna kill me again. You can make it the last time.
 * Dr. Jackson: Don't ask me to do that.
 * Col. O'Neill: You can put an end to it.
 * Dr. Jackson: I won't do it.
 * Col. O'Neill: I'd do it for you, and you know it. I don't want to see this cell again, Daniel.

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: Look, I know you don't think so…right now, I mean, I know you have your doubts, but uh…because you've been through something that no one should have to go through... I guess what I'm trying to say is…you're going to be all right.
 * Col. O'Neill: How do you know?
 * Dr. Jackson: You're just going to have to trust me.

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: I always seem to be saying goodbye to you.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah, I noticed that. Why don't you stick around for a while?
 * Dr. Jackson: I can't, really.
 * Col. O'Neill: You just did.
 * Dr. Jackson: Special occasion.
 * Col. O'Neill: Christmas?
 * Dr. Jackson: No.
 * Col. O'Neill: Groundhog Day?
 * Dr. Jackson: [trying not to smile] Nooo.
 * Col. O'Neill: I've got my journey, you got yours?
 * Dr. Jackson: Something like that, yeah.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: If I'm catchin' the next plane of existence outta here, you gotta give me somethin'.
 * Dr. Jackson: It's your journey. No one but you can choose what you become or the path you take. All I can promise you is it will be an amazing journey. Once you release your burden.
 * Col. O'Neill: Daniel, so help me, if you start talkin' like Oma…
 * Dr. Jackson: I'm not talking like Oma Desala.
 * Col. O'Neill: Sounds like Oma to me.
 * Dr. Jackson: No, no, no…see, Oma Desala would say something like…uh, uh, if you know the candle is fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago or something like that.
 * Col. O'Neill: Why?
 * Dr. Jackson: To open your mind.
 * Col. O'Neill: Though a candle burns in my house…there's nobody home.

Shadowplay [6.7]

 * Maj. Carter: Well, according to their commander, the Kelownan government wants to reestablish trade relations with Earth.
 * Col. O'Neill: I hope you diplomatically told him where to shove it.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: I have nothing against them defending themselves but…how do we know they'll stop there?
 * Gen. Hammond: You sound like Dr. Jackson.
 * Col. O'Neill: [sarcastically] We spent some time together.

The Other Guys [6.8]

 * Dr. Coombs: They'll be back, Felger. Can't you see they're just having fun with you?
 * Dr. Felger: What are you talking about? There's something going on out there.
 * Dr. Coombs: Oh, please, huh? They're just tired of your butt-snorkeling.

 *

 * Dr. Felger: Bite me, Coombs! At least my heroes exist. If this was a Trek convention you'd be all dressed up like a Klingon.
 * Dr. Coombs: Vulcan, Felger. Vulcan. And I don't know how you can call yourself a scientist and not worship at the altar of Roddenberry!
 * Dr. Felger: [mockingly] Oooh, how we gonna get outta this one, Captain? Oh, I don't know, something to do with a tachyon emitter?

 *

 * Dr. Felger: What would Col. O'Neill do if he were here now?
 * Dr. Coombs: You want me to shoot you?

 *

 * Maj. Carter: How come you're not smiling?
 * Jonas: Should I be?
 * Maj. Carter: Well, it is your first time being captured by a Goa'uld.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Carter, be honest. The résumé gag…?
 * [There is a long pause]
 * Teal'c: It needs work, O'Neill.

 *

 * Dr. Coombs: Okay, you studied Goa'uld mothership blueprints?
 * Dr. Felger: Information is an SG-Team's greatest ally.
 * Dr. Coombs: You know what an SG-Team's greatest ally is?! An SG-Team!

 *

 * Dr. Felger: What about "never leave a man behind"?
 * Col. O'Neill: [furious] What about "we allowed ourselves to be captured"? On purpose?
 * Dr. Coombs: [contrite] Oh.
 * Dr. Felger: You what?
 * Col. O'Neill: We're on a mission, you nit!

 *

 * Dr. Felger: Don't you get it Simon, Jaffa do not kill each other for fun.
 * Dr. Coombs: They don't?
 * Dr. Felger: OK, I don't know that for sure.

 *

 * Dr. Felger: You are not going to die, Coombs.
 * Dr. Coombs: Oh, come on, Felger! We might as well be wearing red shirts!

 *

 * Herak: No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
 * Col. O'Neill: You ended that sentence with a preposition. Bastard!

 *

 * Dr. Felger: All that's missing now is some Jaffa chasing us.
 * [A Jaffa patrol is nearing their position]
 * Dr. Felger: Okay, that was not my fault!

 *

 * Dr. Felger: There is something hinky going on.
 * Dr. Coombs: Hinky?
 * Dr. Felger: It's a word!
 * Dr. Coombs: In what dictionary?!

Allegiance [6.9]

 * [A Tok'ra and Jaffa are fighting]
 * Col. O'Neill: What the hell are you doing?! This is a funeral for crying out loud!
 * Artok: I asked a question of this Tok'ra.
 * Ocker: No one may speak during the ritual!
 * Col. O'Neill: For this you guys are fighting?! [to Ocker] Well, I'm sure he's sorry.
 * Artok: I am not.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah, well, on the inside.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Sir. Several of the Tok'ra have expressed concern about the temporary quarters they've been assigned.
 * Col. O'Neill: Explain to them the meaning of the word "temporary". If they don't like it, they can leave.
 * Maj. Carter: You really want me to tell them that?
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes. No. [sighs] I'll do it.

 *

 * [Carter is explaining the status of a naquadah generator in the morning]
 * Maj. Carter: It seemed like a power fluctuation in the cycle output of the naquadah reactor. But at closer inspection, I discovered the absorption port and its redundancy had been tampered with.
 * Col. O'Neill: Carter! I haven't had coffee.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: Well, whoever it is, we're dealing with an enemy we can't see. Without TERs to counter that technology, we're helpless.
 * Malek: Do you have the means to generate a high-frequency electromagnetic field?
 * Maj. Carter: I could modify the wave output of the naquadah reactor.
 * Malek: Within a range of 400 to 700 nanometers?
 * Maj. Carter: That might just excite the phase particles enough to bring them into our visible light spectrum.
 * Col. O'Neill: Carter?
 * Maj. Carter: Sir, the invisibility field must operate—
 * Col. O'Neill: Are you about to tell me that you can make the invisible guy vi—
 * Maj. Carter: Yes, sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: That's all I need.
 * Jacob Carter: If you can see it, you can shoot it.

 *

 * [Carter turns on a recalibrated naquadah generator]
 * Col. O'Neill: Ooh! Anybody else feel that?
 * Maj. Carter: The tingling sensation is caused by the energy field. It's not causing any physical damage, so there's nothing to worry about, sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: No, I like it. It's good!

 *

 * Bra'tac: This weapon (holding up the Ashrak's large bladed knife) has shed the blood of Tokra, of Jaffa, and of the Tauri. By the hands of our common enemy, it has made us brothers! Together, we have ensured it will never spill our blood again!

Cure [6.10]

 * Dollen: They are sending their most respected team of representatives. No doubt the leader of this group will be a brilliant and savvy negotiator.
 * Tegar: We must be at our best to match the challenge.
 * Dollen: Personally, I cannot wait to meet a man of such genius.
 * [SG-1 enters through the Stargate]
 * Col. O'Neill: Howdy, folks!

 *

 * [Zenna Volk approaches Jonas and Teal'c]
 * Zenna: Earthans!
 * Jonas: Uh… Earthlings. [looks at Teal'c] Sort of.

 *

 * Teal'c: A Goa'uld offspring is born with the intellect and knowledge of the queen who bore it. Normally, the fully developed personality would emerge, allowing the symbiote to control the host immediately upon blending.
 * Col. O'Neill: Glowing eyes, cliché behavior, evilness, that kind of thing.

 *

 * [SG-1 is observing a Goa'uld queen that has spawned millions of symbiotes]
 * Col. O'Neill: Alright now, how is that possible? I mean, how does she make kids without a… [pause] …man friend?
 * Malek: Symbiote queens are able to fertilize their own eggs. It is essentially an asexual process.
 * Col. O'Neill: That why you guys take hosts?

Prometheus [6.11]

 * Gen. Hammond: How much does she know?
 * Major Davis: She thinks Prometheus is some kind of fusion reactor.
 * Gen. Hammond: Then maybe we don't have a problem.

 *

 * [Carter and Jonas are showing off the BC-303 starship to a TV newscrew]
 * Martell: You're saying little green men helped you build this?
 * Maj. Carter: Actually, they're gray.

Unnatural Selection [6.12]

 * Col. O'Neill: Suffice to say you might want to get upstairs and punch "1" [supposedly the President] on the old speed dial.
 * Gen. Hammond: [confused] My grandchildren?
 * Col. O'Neill: "2" then.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: They didn't go for it.
 * Maj. Carter: They didn't approve the mission?
 * Col. O'Neill: No, they did that. Once they knew the stakes and the whole "fate of the universe" stuff, both the president and Hammond realized we have no choice. He sends good luck, godspeed, and all those things he says when he thinks we're gonna die.
 * Maj. Carter: So what didn't they go for?
 * Col. O'Neill: The name I suggested.
 * Maj. Carter: For the ship?
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah.
 * Maj. Carter: Yeah, sir, we can't call it the Enterprise.
 * Col. O'Neill: Why not?!
 * Maj. Carter: The project codename is Prometheus. What's wrong with that?
 * Col. O'Neill: It's a Greek tragedy. Who wants that?

 *

 * Teal'c: Replicators exist merely to increase their numbers and do so without prejudice. They are no more evil than a virus.
 * Col. O'Neill: A really evil virus.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: What's the matter with you guys? Time machines are nothing but trouble --  even we know that!

 *

 * Thor: If in fact you are reconsidering...
 * Col. O'Neill: No, no. I full well expected the other shoe to drop.
 * Thor: We can only hope that this will be the last footwear to fall.

 *

 * First: We are inside your unconscious mind now.
 * Col. O'Neill: You'd think there'd be more lights on.

 *

 * Maj. Carter: What was the command?
 * Thor: To come forth.
 * Jonas: You instructed every Replicator out there to come to you?
 * Col. O'Neill: I have a theory why you lost the war.

Sight Unseen [6.13]

 * Maj. Carter: You only saw a flash of this creature. Are you sure it wasn't a hallucination?
 * Jonas: You're suggesting I'm delusional?
 * Col. O'Neill: No, no. it's just possible you were seeing something that wasn't entirely... Yes, that's what we're suggesting.

 * Jonas: The possibility of being insane has been interfering with my ability to relax.

 *

 * Vernon: So what planet are they from?
 * Col. O'Neill: Who?
 * Vernon: The aliens.
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh! A place called Melmac.
 * Vernon: Isn't that where Alf was from?
 * Col. O'Neill: Who?
 * Vernon: Alf. You know, on TV? The puppet?
 * Col. O'Neill: [deadpan] Never saw it.

Smoke and Mirrors [6.14]

 * Jonas: How'd you learn to drive?
 * Teal'c: It was Daniel Jackson that instructed me.
 * Jonas: When was that?
 * Teal'c: I believe the year was 1969.

 *

 * [Recovering from a bomb blast, Carter realizes that she is on the ground, with Barrett on top of her.]
 * Maj. Carter: What are you doing?
 * Agent Barrett: Covering you.
 * Maj. Carter: [irked] Thank you. Get up.

 *

 * Agent Barrett: What makes you think I was gonna come in here before you got them to incriminate themselves?
 * Maj. Carter: When you work with someone, you just know.

 *

 * Sen. Kinsey: You need this as much as I do. The only way you're going to get public vindication is if the two of us appear on the six o'clock news, shaking hands.
 * Col. Jack O'Neill: Yeah... I'm not sure it's worth it.

 *

 * Col. Jack O'Neill: Someone duplicated the duplicators?

Paradise Lost [6.15]

 * Maybourne: (eating hot dog) I helped myself, I hope you don't mind.
 * Col. O'Neill: You're eating my dog.
 * Maybourne: (chewing) You want it back?
 * Col. O'Neill: You want some beer to wash it down?
 * Maybourne: Already got some.
 * Col. O'Neill: What are you doing here?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Maybourne, have you completely lost your mind? Because if you're suffering, I'll gladly put you out of your misery.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: You know, Harry, it's not that I can't believe you lied to me again, it's that you lied to me again!

 *

 * Maybourne: I can't go back. I'd rather die here than spend the rest of my life in jail.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yeah, um, I've been giving that some thought. I think you've suffered enough. Hell, I even got to shoot you.
 * Maybourne: Twice.

 *

 * Maybourne: Nothing I like more than a good wiener.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes, you are what you eat.

 *

 * Teal'c: Are you able to translate any of this, Jonas Quinn?
 * Jonas: It's not Ancient but it's definitely a language belonging to one of the races of the Ancient alliance.
 * Col. O'Neill: Nox? Asgard?
 * Jonas: Furlings.
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh no, not those guys.
 * Jonas: What?
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh I don't know, I just can't imagine cute little furry things making big powerful weapons, that's all.
 * Jonas: I don't even know what they look like.
 * Col. O'Neill: Furling. Sounds cute and fuzzy to me.

Metamorphosis [6.16]

 * Jonas: I'm thinking of asking her out.
 * Maj. Carter: Then you should.
 * Jonas: On Kelowna, it's custom for that request to be passed on by a friend. [punches Carter lightly on the arm]
 * Maj. Carter: Oh, it is not!
 * Jonas: You could at least find out for me if she'd be receptive.
 * Maj. Carter: Jonas, you are such a chickensh-- (The last part of the word is drowned out by the base's siren.)

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Hey folks, how you doing? Jack O’Neill, Earth. Listen. originally we came here to rescue you. But as you can see we’ve run into a bit of a snag. So if any of you can bend steel with your bare hands or happen to be more powerful than a locomotive, just raise your hand. Identify yourselves. Let us know where you are...

Disclosure [6.17]

 * British Ambassador: I am a bit dubious that not one but two reported meteors in the last few years were in fact alien ships.
 * Maj. Davis: Actually, there were three.

 *

 * Sen. Kinsey: Commander Thor, my name is—
 * Thor: Senator Kinsey. O'Neill suggested I send you to a distant planet for your actions here, but I am reasonably certain his statement was in jest.
 * Sen. Kinsey: [raises his finger] I'm sure it was, Commander—
 * Thor: [raises his finger] Supreme Commander.

 *

 * Thor: It is the opinion of the Asgard high council that Stargate Command should be left in the very capable hands of General Hammond and his team...and while our continued friendship with Earth is not contingent on that—it. is. preferred.

Forsaken [6.18]

 * Teal'c: The Celts were formidable warriors in their time. Their descendants may make valuable allies.
 * Col. O'Neill: You've seen Braveheart too often.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: [To Carter looking through the telescope] Lots of interesting nebulous things going on?
 * Maj. Carter: Yes, sir.
 * Col. O'Neill: [Looks into the telescope] I don't see squat.
 * Maj. Carter: Well, you wouldn't, sir, during the day.

 *

 * Jonas: [Over the radio] Colonel, Major. You have to see this.
 * Col. O'Neill: Okay. You'll have to let us know where you are.
 * Jonas: Right. Ah, head east.

The Changeling [6.19]

 * Bra'tac: [as "Brae"] There's putting your life on the line and there's being stupid. Guess which one you picked?

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: I haven't left your side, Teal'c. And I'm not going to. That's a promise.

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: What's that?
 * Maj. Carter: Tretonin, sir.
 * Jonas: The drug the Pangarans offered us?
 * Col. O'Neill: Whoa! That's ground Goa'uld, isn't it?
 * Jacob Carter: It's a little more refined than that, Jack...

 *

 * [Maj. Carter suggests that Teal'c drink warm milk]
 * Teal'c: I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at any temperature.

Memento [6.20]

 * Col. Ronson: There's no redundancy for that particular system.
 * Col. O'Neill: So, you're saying there's no redundancy.

 *

 * Teal'c: Yet it is happening.
 * Col. O'Neill: Yet it is.

Prophecy [6.21]

 * Teal'c: Are you still having visions, Jonas Quinn?
 * Jonas: Not since the surgery, no.
 * Col. O'Neill: So, no lottery numbers...
 * Jonas: [smiling] 'Fraid not
 * Col. O'Neill: No trip to Vegas, just you and me...

 * Col. O'Neill: Every time I wake up in a Goa'uld cell I can't help but have the thought that something bad is going to happen.

 * Mot: You are the Tau'ri of Stargate Command.
 * Col. O'Neill: And you are Lord Mot. Come to punish us for our insolence, yada, etcetera, et al.
 * Mot: That is correct.
 * Col. O'Neill: Well, Mr. Mot. We're onto you. We know what you've got planned and we've informed the Tok'ra. If we don't report back on schedule, they're gonna rat you out, they'll tell your boss, they'll snitch on ya.

Full Circle [6.22]

 * Col. O'Neill: I’m sure that was an aspirin I took this morning.
 * Daniel Jackson: Jack, it’s really me. It’s me, you have to help, you have to find the Eye of Ra before Anubis does. Keep it, hide it, destroy it, whatever, it doesn’t matter, we don’t have much time.
 * Col. O'Neill: Hey Daniel, how you doing? Long time. How are things on the higher planes?
 * Daniel Jackson: [sighs, decides to play along] Hey Jack, long time no see. How you doing?
 * Col. O'Neill: Fine, just fine.
 * Daniel Jackson: How are the knees, the back? Everything’s..
 * Col. O'Neill: Oh you know, weather contingent...
 * Daniel Jackson: So what’s new?
 * Col. O'Neill: Ah actually a funny thing happened to me, today, I’m riding an elevator and an old friend of mine, someone who never calls, never writes just shows up and tells me all about this very important and apparently urgent mission that needs my attention.
 * Daniel Jackson: You gonna help or…
 * Col. O'Neill: Wait! Let me tell it, it’s good! You see this buddy of mine, this pal, this chum has ascended to a whole new level of existence. Do you see the irony? He’s asking for my help and he’s this great and powerful being.
 * Daniel Jackson: The Others have rules; just talking to you is a violation.
 * Col. O'Neill: What, like jay walking, double parking, what?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: So... you seeing anyone?
 * Skaara: Maybe.
 * Col. O'Neill: Really? Is it serious?
 * Skaara: Maybe. We are betrothed.
 * Col. O'Neill: Trust me, that’s serious. Congratulations!
 * Skaara: Thank you.
 * Col. O'Neill: I assume my invitation got lost in the mail or..?
 * Skaara: I wanted to ask you to sha’loki. To stand beside me.
 * Col. O'Neill: Just during the ceremony right?
 * Skaara: Yes, yes.
 * Col. O'Neill: I’d be honoured.
 * Skaara: Will you becoming to my wedding alone? [Sam walks up]
 * Col. O'Neill: Ah... I assume Carter’s invited too?
 * Skaara: Of course. Will you becoming together?
 * Col. O'Neill: As in?
 * Maj. Carter: Friends going to a wedding.
 * Col. O'Neill: [Uncomfortable] Right. Sure. [pause] Jonas? [walks away] [Skaara and Sam share a knowing smile]

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: [to Her'ak, regarding Anubis] Don't forget to tell him you screwed up again!
 * Jonas: Is it really necessary to further antagonize him?
 * [pause]
 * Col. O'Neill: Yes.

 *

 * Dr. Jackson: Oma's here watching me.
 * Col. O'Neill: And?
 * Dr. Jackson: And I don't care any more.

 *

 * Anubis: With a wave of my hand, I will bombard the surface. You can try and stop me if you choose.
 * Dr. Jackson: What makes you think I won't?
 * Anubis: Your words mean nothing. Take action, if you dare.

 *

 * Major Carter: The only thing we can assume is that Anubis didn't keep his deal with Daniel.
 * Col. O'Neill: That's a shock, eh?

 *

 * Col. O'Neill: Well, spank me rosy!

 *

 * Her'ak: Surrender or die!
 * Col. O'Neill: What?
 * Her'ak: Surrender or die!
 * Col. O'Neill: I was just gonna say the exact same thing.
 * Her'ak: O'Neill, of SG-1.
 * Col. O'Neill: Hey, how you doing? You'll have to forgive me, I'm terrible with names. What was...
 * [A staff shot is fired]
 * Col. O'Neill: Jeez!
 * Her'ak: I am Her'ak.
 * Col. O'Neill: Congratulations. Failing upwards I see.

 *

 * Her'ak: You are indeed all-powerful, my lord.
 * Anubis: What you just saw was not my doing. [Anubis sits at his throne] However, this is! [Anubis destroys Abydos]

 *

 * Skaara: All those who wish to die.
 * Daniel: All those who must not fail.

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Stargate SG-1/Season 6


text:
Bem Cavalgar

Bem Cavalgar (Livro Da Ensinança De Bem Cavalgar Toda Sela (The Art of Riding on Every Saddle)) is a treatise on horsemanship written by Duarte, King of Portugal (1391-1438). King Duarte died unexpectedly of the plague, leaving his book unfinished. It is one of the earliest modern treatises on equitation, and is still little known, having been written in medieval Portuguese, with no translation into modern Portuguese. The book was first translated into English by António Franco Preto and Luis Preto in 2005 (see Bibliography), which is also the main source for this review.

The original manuscripts of Bem Cavalgar, and of Dom Duarte's other main book Leal Conselheiro, are kept at the French National Library, Paris.

The book is divided into three parts. The third part (recommendations for skilled horseman) remains unfinished, as King Duarte wrote only seven of a proposed 16 recommendations.

Contents of the book

 * Part 1: On Will (Chapters I - IV)

 * Part 2: On Power (Chapters I-II)

 * Part 3: Sixteen Recommendations for Skilled Horsemen
 * Section 1: On Being Strong (Chapters I - XXI)
 * Section 2: On Being Fearless (Chapters I - X)
 * Section 3: On Being Safe (Chapters I - VII)
 * Section 4: On Being Quiet (Chapters I - III)
 * Section 5: On Being at Ease (chap. I - XVI)
 * Section 6: How to Spur a Horse and the Many Types of Spurs; How to Control a Horse Using a Wooden Stick or Staff (Chapters I - II)
 * Section 7: Remarks on the Dangers of Riding and How to Avoid Them

Incipient
In the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ, with His permission and benevolence and also of the Virgin Mary, His Holy Mother, Our Lady: This is the beginning of the book of the teaching how to ride on every saddle, written by King Dom Duarte of Portugal, of Algarve, and Ruler of Ceuta, who began this book when he was still an Infante.

In the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ: Having in mind that we should be able to do everything, and in accordance with the saying that writing books is an endless task, which I do for my own relaxation and entertainment, and being aware that the art of being a good horseman is one of the main skills necessary to knights and squires, I am going to write several things about it with the objective of improving the riding skills of those who decide to read my writings in good will and to follow my recommendations.

Part I

 * This art [riding] brings, besides other advantages, courage to the heart.
 * The three things that lead men, by grace of God, to achieve all the good during this life and the next, are: to have the will to do everything virtuously and faithfully toward God and men; to have sufficient strength in their bodies and hearts to be able to do all difficult things and to oppose and cope with all adversities; and to be knowledgeable through experience of the things that belong their status and professions [...]
 * It is also well known that good horses bring happiness to the heart of the riders, if they are at least reasonably skilled.
 * [...] we very much praise this art [riding] because a healthy man, with strong will, if he does nor get fat, is able to keep his skill as he ages, which does not happen with most arts.

Part II

 * And I think that if everybody maintains a strong determination and will, only very few would not be able to become reasonable horsemen through lack of the minimal physical condition.
 * But it would be enough that, when riding beasts, they behave like men and not like beasts.

title: Bem Cavalgar


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Talk:Bem Cavalgar

After a suggestion of Peter Bosmann (http://users.telenet.be/huertacilla), a little group of friends, interested in riding, is reading Bem Cavalgar and is collecting quotes. This article is merely the "container" for such an ongoing collection. --Alex brollo 12:46, 21 September 2006 (UTC)

First quotations added
I added some quotations and I removed stub template. Please help about categorization (I can't understand wikiquote categories!!!)--Alex brollo 03:24, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

title: Talk:Bem Cavalgar