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Georgia O'Keeffe

Georgia Totto O'Keeffe (15 November 1887 – 6 March 1986) was an American modernist painter. She was known for her paintings of enlarged flowers, New York skyscrapers, and New Mexico landscapes. O'Keeffe has been called the "Mother of American modernism".

O'Keeffe is a major figure in American art. She is chiefly known for paintings in which she synthesizes abstraction and representation in paintings of flowers, rocks, shells, animal bones and landscapes. Her paintings present crisply contoured forms that are replete with subtle tonal transitions of varying colors, and she often transformed her subject matter into powerful abstract images.

'Letters to Anita Pollitzer' (1916)

 * Letters to Anita Pollitzer, (1916), as cited in The Complete Correspondence of Georgia O'Keeffe & Anita Pollitzer, ed. Clive Giboire, Touchstone Books, Simon & Schuster Inc., New York, 1990

 * Anita, I have just come the comforting conclusion that I'll have to paint acres and acres of water color landscapes before I will look for even a passably fair one. After about ten attempts — I certainly have to laugh at myself — It's like feeling around in the dark — thought I knew what I was going to try to do but I find I don't — and guess I'll only find out by slaving away at it. I feel — like a wreck — Have been working like mad all day — and you know how deliciously disgusted with every thing one can be — when the sun begins to go down — and one has been working ones head off all day. It gives me the sensation I used to have when I was a youngster and was going away from home on the train — It is a very special sort of sick feeling.
 * New York City (February 1916), p. 145

 * Today I walked into the sunset — to mail some letters —.. .But some way or other I didn't seem to like the redness much so after I mailed the letters I walked home — and kept walking - The Eastern sky was all grey blue — bunches of clouds — different kinds of clouds — sticking around everywhere and the whole thing — lit up — first in one place — then in another with flashes of lightning — sometimes just sheet lightning — and some times sheet lightning with a sharp bright zigzag flashing across it -. I walked out past the last house — past the last locust tree — and sat on the fence for a long time — looking — just looking at — the lightning — you see there was nothing but sky and flat prairie land — land that seems more like the ocean than anything else I know — There was a wonderful moon. Well I just sat there and had a great time by myself — Not even many night noises — just the wind —..  .I wondered what you were doing - It is absurd the way I love this country — Then when I came back — it was funny — roads just shoot across blocks anywhere — all the houses looked alike — and I almost got lost — I had to laugh at myself — I couldn't tell which house was home - I am loving the plains more than ever it seems — and the SKY — Anita you have never seen SKY — it is wonderful —
 * Canyon, Texas (September 11, 1916), pp. 183-184

 * Last night I couldn't sleep till after four in the morning – I had been out to the canyon all afternoon – till late at night – wonderful color – I wish I could tell you how big – and with the night the colors deeper and darker – cattle on the pastures in the bottom looked line little pinheads. I can understand Pa Dow painting his pretty colored canyons – it must have been a great temptation – no wonder he fell. Then the moon rose right up out of the ground after we got out on the plains again – battered a little where he bumped his head but enormous – There was no wind – it was just big and still – so very big and still – long legged jack rabbits hopping across in front of the light as we passed – A great place to see the night time because there is nothing else. – then I came home – not sleepy so I made a pattern of some flowers I had picked – They were like waterlilies – white ones – with the quality of smoothness gone.
 * Canyon, Texas (September 14, 1916), pp. 186, 187

 * Anita – I am so glad I'm out here – I can't tell you how much I like it. I like the plains – and I like the work [her painting] – everything is so ridiculously new – and there is something about it that just makes you glad you're living here – You understand – there is nothing here – so maybe there is something wrong with me that I am liking it so much.
 * Canyon, Texas (September 1916), p. 187

 * Your letter became before I was up this morning – Yes nice to get. I recognize two of the drawings you speak of – Number one is the first of the dozen or more you speak of – number 2 came next The last – It didn't quite satisfy me so I tried again – the last one was so much worse than the one you like that I thought I had just about worn the idea out so quit.. .You ask me what I did with the rest of myself when I made number 2 -..  .I sat up almost all night one night this week and made the most infernally ugly little shape you ever saw – I wanted to break it when I got through – but didn't then next afternoon when I had time to look at it, it amused me so that I didn't – really its laughable – it's so ugly – and still some way it's quite beautiful – I don't know – I may break it up – or I may try to cast it just for fun – I have another idea that I'm in an awful stew to model – I am going to get a lot of patience so I can make all the little do-dangles I want to and won't have to break one up so I can make another – I want to make a big one..
 * Canyon, Texas (September 1916), p. 198

 * Walked way out in the plains in the moonlight – there is no wind – so still – And so light – I wish you could see it – with miss Hibbits – she was born in Ireland –.. .The plains start right across the roads from this house – there is just nothing out there – she says she has often ridden till ten or eleven o'clock at night – alone – nothing to be afraid of – because there is nothing out there – Its great – I am not even having the smallest wish for N.Y. ...
 * Canyon, Texas (September 1916), pp. 207, 208

 * The plains are very wonderful now – like green gold and yellow gold and red gold – in patches – and the distance blue and pink and lavender strips and spots – May sounds like a Dow Canyon but really its wonderful – specially in the evening – I usually go alone – Yesterday rode home on a hay wagon – no it was clover with a funny old man – His mules and wagon blocked my path so we started talking.. .We had a great time riding toward the sunset. He was little and dried up and weather beaten – but he likes living..
 * Canyon, Texas (October 30, 1916), pp. 209, 210

 * As I opened the door — I heard cattle — many — in the pens over by the track — lowing — I wonder if you ever heard a whole lot of cattle lowing — it sounds different here — too — just ground and sky — and the lowing cattle — you hardly see — either them or the pens — the pens are of weather beaten boards — take on the color of the ground it seems — I like it and I don't like it — its like music — I made up a tune this morning — Well — I heard the cattle — as I opened the door — and I liked it and I didn't liked it — then I read your letter as I walked to breakfast — a great letter — Anita -
 * Canyon, Texas (November 1916), p. 216

1920s

 * I have been thinking of what you say about form.. .I feel that a real living form is the natural result of the individual’s effort to create the living thing out of the adventure of his spirit into the unknown..  ..and from that experience comes the desire to make the unknown known. By unknown I mean the thing that means so much to the person that he want to put it down - clarify something he feels but does not clearly understand..  .Making the unknown known..  ..if you stop to think of form as form you are lost.
 * letter to Sherwood Anderson (October 1923); as quoted in Georgia O'Keeffe: A Life, Roxana Robinson (University Press of New England, 1999)

 * I thought you could write something about me that men can't – What I want written – I do not know – I have no definite idea of what it should be. – but a woman who has lived many things and who sees lines and colors as an expression of living – might say something that a man can't – I feel there is something unexplored about woman that only a woman can explore – Men have done all they can do about it. Does that mean anything to you – or doesn't it?
 * letter to Mabel Dodge Luhan, New York (1925); as quoted in Voicing our visions, – Writings by women artists, ed. Mara R. Witzling (New York: Universe Publishing/London: Women's Press, 1991), p. 224

 * School and things that painters have taught me even keep me from painting as I want to. I decided I was a very stupid fool not to be at least paint as I wanted to and say what I wanted to when I painted as that seemed to be the only thing I could do that didn't concern anybody but myself.. .I found that I could say things with colour and shapes that I couldn't say in any other way things that I had no words for.
 * 'Foreword' of the catalogue for the show at the Anderson Galleries in New York, 1926
 * A quote from a short text by O'Keeffe written at the request of her husband and art dealer (the photographer Alfred Stieglitz)

 * I had wanted to talk with you about lots of things.. .I am anxious to get to work for the fall – it is always my best time I had one particular painting – that tree in Lawrence's front yard as you see it when you lie under it on the table – with stars – it looks as tho it is standing on its head – I wanted you to see it..
 * letter to Mabel Dodge Luhan, Taos, August 1929; as quoted in Voicing our visions, – Writings by women artists, ed. Mara R. Witzling (New York: Universe Publishing/London: Women's Press, 1991), p. 226

'Letter to Ettie Stettheimer' (August 1929)

 * 'Quotes from: a letter to Ettie Stettheimer [sister of Florine Stettheimer, on a train from New Mexico to New York (August 24, 1929); as cited in Voicing our visions, – Writings by women artists''; ed. Mara R. Witzling (New York: Universe Publishing/London: Women's Press, 1991)

 * I am on the train going back to Stieglitz – and in a hurry to get there – I have had four months west and it seems to be all that I needed – It has been like the wind and the sun – there doesn't seem to have been a crack of the waking day or night that wasn't full – I haven't gained an ounce in weight but I feel so alive that I am apt to crack at any moment...
 * p. 226

 * I have frozen in the mountains in rain and in hail – and slept out under the stars – and cooked and burned on the desert so that riding through Kansas on the train when everyone is wilting about me seems nothing at all for heat – my nose has peeled and all my bones have been sore from riding – I drove with friends through Arizona – Utah – Colorado – New Mexico till the thought of a wheel under me makes me want to hold my head.
 * pp. 226-227

 * I got a new Ford and learned to drive it – I even painted – and I laughed a great deal – I went every place that I had time for – and I am ready to go back East as long as I have to go sometime – If it were not for the Stieglitz call I would probably never go – but that is strong – so I am on the way ... I hope a little of it stays with me till I see you – It is my old way of life – you wouldn't like it – it would seem impossible to you as it does to Stieglitz, probably – but it is mine – and I like it – I would just go dead if I couldn't have it..
 * p. 227

1930s

 * I know I cannot paint a flower. I can not paint the sun on the desert on a bright summer morning but maybe in terms of paint color I can convey to you my experience of the flower or the experience that makes the flower of significance to me at that particular time.
 * letter to William Milliken (1930), quoted in Portrait of an Artist: A Biography of Georgia O'Keeffe, Laurie Lisle (1981), p. 128

 * Color is one of the great things in the world that makes life worth living to me and as I have come to think of painting it is my effort to create an equivalent with paint color for the world – life as I see it.
 * The large 'White Flower' [Georgia painted in 1929] with the golden heart is something I have to say about White – quite different from what White has been meaning to me. Whether the flower or the color is the focus I do not know. I do know that the flower is painted large to convey to you my experience of the flower – and what is my experience of the flower if it is not color.
 * both quotes in a letter to William M. Milliken, New York November 1, 1930; as quoted in Voicing our visions, – Writings by women artists; ed. Mara R. Witzling, Universe New York, 1991, p. 227

 * Artists and religionists are never far apart, they go to the sources of revelation for what they choose to experience and what they report is the degree of their experiences. Intellect wishes to arrange — intuition wishes to accept.
 * The Second Outline in Portraiture (1936), as quoted in Marsden Hartley, Gail R. Scott - Abbeville Publishers, Cross River Press, 1988, New York, p. 167

 * A flower is relatively small. Everyone has many associations with a flower - the idea of flowers. You put out your hand to touch the flower — lean forward to smell it — maybe touch it with your lips almost without thinking — or give it to someone to please them. Still — in a way — nobody sees a flower — really — it is so small — we haven't time — and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.. .So I said to myself — I'll paint what I see — what the flower is to me but I'll paint it big and they will be surprised into taking time to look at it — I will make even busy New-Yorkers take time to see what I see of flowers..  .Well — I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your own associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see of the flower — and I don't.
 * O'Keeffe's contribution (1939) to the exhibition catalogue of the show An American place (1944)

 * So, probably.. ..when I started painting the pelvis bones I was most interested in the holes in the bones — what I saw through them - particularly the blue from holding them up in the sun against the sky as one is apt to do when one seems to have more sky than earth in one's world..  ..they were most beautiful against the Blue — that Blue that will always be there as it is now after all man's destruction is finished.
 * O'Keeffe's contribution (1939) to the exhibition catalogue of the show An American place (1944)

1940s

 * Equal Rights and Responsibilities is a basic idea that would have very important psychological effects on women and men from the time they are born. It could very much change the girl child's idea of her place in the world.. .It seems to me very important to the idea of true democracy – to my country – and to the world eventually – that all men and women stand equal under the sky – I wish that you could be with us in this fight..
 * In a letter to Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt, February 10, 1944; as quoted in Voicing our visions, -Writings by women artists; ed. Mara R. Witzling, Universe New York, 1991, pp. 227-28

 * Singing has always seemed to me the most perfect means of expression. Since I cannot sing, I paint.
 * "Austere Stripper". Time (May 27, 1947), pp. 74.

1950s

 * It seems odd to think of you at Lake George tonight – I can smell the outdoors – and hear it – and see the stars – So often before I went to bed at night I would walk out toward the barn and look at the sky in the open space. There was no light little house – there were no people – there was only the night – I will never go back again – maybe to stand just for a moment where I put the little bit that was left of Alfred [Stieglitz] after he was cremated – but I think not even for that. I put him where he would hear the lake. – That is finished.
 * letter to William Howard Schubart, (nephew of her late husband), Abiquiu, New Mexico, August 4, 1950; as quoted in Voicing our visions, -Writings by women artists; ed. Mara R. Witzling, Universe New York, 1991, pp. 228-29

 * My spring has been much better than every travelling springs of the last two years — I have been working — or trying to work my garden into a kind of permanent shape.. .At the moment I have three rose bushes so full of red and yellow roses that they look on fire — they are really astonishing — You would really laugh to see them — two are very tall — the other smaller — It is a rose that is the reddest red on top and yellow underneath — then sometimes a few spots that are deep butter yellow — and an odd iris — dirty lavender petals reaching up — a pale lavender mixed with yellow that greys it and yellow petals mixed with a little lavender drooping down — very handsome — There are lots of ordinary colors too — many kinds. Well — that's my life —
 * letter to Anita Pollitzer Abiquiu, New Mexico, (May 31, 1955), from The Complete Correspondence of Georgia O'Keeffe & Anita Pollitzer, ed. Clive Giboire, Touchstone Books, Simon & Schuster Inc., New York, 1990, p. 298

 * ..About my work Howard – I always have two opinions – one is my way of seeing it for myself – and for myself I am never satisfied – never really – I almost always fail – always I think – now next time I can do it – Maybe that is part of what keeps one working – I can also look at myself – by that I mean my work from the point of view of the looking public – and that is the way I look at it when I think of showing. I have always first had a show for myself – and made up my mind – then after that it doesn't matter to me very much what anyone else say – good or bad.
 * letter to William Howard Schubart, (nephew of her died husband), Abiquiu, New Mexico, August 4, 1950; as quoted in Voicing our visions, -Writings by women artists; ed. Mara R. Witzling, Universe New York, 1991, p. 228

 * Dear Anita [ Anita Pollitzer ], don't forget Mary Cassatt [as one of her inspirations] — and I am not sure that your new paragraph will hold water [(Anita had sent her a chapter of the biography she was writing about Georgia] — We [artists] probably all derive from something — with some it is more obvious than with others — so much so that we can not escape a language of line that has been growing in meaning since the beginning of lines.
 * letter to Anita Pollitzer, Abiquiu, New Mexico, January 17, 1956; as quoted in The Complete Correspondence of Georgia O’Keeffe & Anita Pollitzer, ed. Clive Giboire, Touchstone Books, Simon & Schuster Inc., New York, 1990, p. 305

1960s

 * Dear Anita, I read your manuscript some time ago and it has lain on my table — ..You have written your dream picture of me — and I am not that way at all. We are such different kinds of people that it reads as if we spoke different languages and didn't understand one another at all. You write of the legends others have made up about me — but when I read your manuscript, it seems as much a myth as all the others. I really believe that to call this my biography when it has so little to do with me is impossible — and I cannot have my name exploited to further it.
 * letter to Anita Pollitzer, Abiquiu, New Mexico (February 28, 1968); as quoted in The Complete Correspondence of Georgia O’Keeffe & Anita Pollitzer, ed. Clive Giboire, Touchstone Books, Simon & Schuster Inc., New York, 1990, p. 320

 * I do not like the idea of happiness — it is too momentary — I would say that I was always busy and interested in something — interest has more meaning to me than the idea of happiness.
 * In notes to Anita Pollitzer, Abiquiu, New Mexico, (after February, 1968); as quoted in The Complete Correspondence of Georgia O’Keeffe & Anita Pollitzer, ed. Clive Giboire, Touchstone Books, Simon & Schuster Inc., New York, 1990, p. 324

Some Memories of Drawings (1976)

 * Some Memories of Drawings, Georgia O'Keeffe, Published by University of New Mexico Press, Viking Press, New York, 1976 (a collection of Georgia O'Keeffe's major drawings, done between 1915 - 1963, along with her comments on the influences behind the drawings)

 * The meaning of a word — to me — is not as exact as the meaning of a colour. Colours and shapes make a more definite statement than words. I write this [1974] because such odd things have been done about me with words. I have often been told what to paint … I make this effort because no one else can know how my paintings happen.
 * Quote, 1914, from: Foreword

 * I don't really know where I got my artists idea. The scraps of what I remember do not explain to me where it came from. I only know that by this time [her eight grade's year] it was definitely settled in my mind.
 * About becoming an artist

 * On the way I stood a moment looking out across the marshes with tall cattails, a patch of water, more marsh, then the woods with a few birch trees shining white at the edge on beyond. In the darkness it all looked just like I felt. Wet and swampy and gloomy, very gloomy. In the morning I painted it. My memory of it is that it was probably my best painting that summer..
 * About the summer of Art Students League, New York 1913/14

 * Those perilous climbings [with her sister Claudia, in the Palo Duro Canyon, 1916] were frightening, but it was wonderful to me and not like anything I had known before. The fright of the day was still with me in the night and I would often dream that the foot of my bed rose straight up into the air — then just as it was to fall I would wake up. Many drawings came from days like that, and later some oil paintings.
 * About climbing the Palo Duro Canyon, 1916

 * Bement [her art teacher] told me things to read. He told me of exhibitions to go and see [c. 1917].. ..the two books that he told me to get were Jeromy Eddy 'Cubists and Post-impressionism' and Kandinsky  'On the Spiritual of Art'... It was some time before I really begun to use the ideas. I didn't start at until I was down in Carolina — alone — thinking things out for myself.

 * Later I had two green ones [alligator pears] — not so perfect. I painted them several times [c. 1920] when the men [American modernist artists, a.o. Marsden Hartley ] didn't think much of what I was doing. They were all discussing Paul Cézanne, with long involved remarks about the 'plastic quality' of his form and colour. I was an outsider. My colour and form were not acceptable. It had nothing to do with Cézanne or anything else. I didn't understand what they were talking about why one colour was better than another.. .Years later when I finally got to Cézanne's Mont Sainte-Victoire in the south of France, I remember sitting there thinking, 'How could they attach all those analytical remarks to anything he did with that mountain?' All those entire words piled on top of that poor little mountain seemed too much.

 * The clean clear colours [of a Shanty farm] were in my head. But one day as I looked at the brown burned wood of the Shanty, I thought 'I can paint one of those dismal-coloured paintings like the men. I think just for fun I will try — all low-toned and dreary with the tree besides the door.' In my next show [c. 1923], 'The Shanty' went up. The men seemed to approve of it. They seemed to think that maybe I was beginning to paint.. ..that was my only low-toned dismal-coloured painting.

 * I painted 'the Shelton with Sunspots' [New York], in 1926. I went out one morning to look at it before I started to work and there was the optical illusion of a bite out of one side of the tower made by the sun, with sunspots against the building and against the sky. I made that painting beginning at the upper left and went off at the lower right without going back.

 * I find that I have painted my life, things happening in my life — without knowing. After painting the Shell and shingle [c, 1926] many times, I did a misty landscape of the mountain across the lake, and the mountain became the shape of the shingle — the mountain I saw out my window, the shingle on the table in my room. I did not notice that they were alike for a long time after they were painted.

 * After I had been in Canada painting the wide white barns along the Saint Lawrence river, I thought how different the life of the Canadian farmer was from life in Cebolla. So I painted [in 1945] the Cebolla church which is so typical of that difficult life. I have always thought it one of my very good paintings, though its message is not as pleasant as many of the others.

 * There are people who have made me see shapes — and others I thought of a great deal, even people I have loved, who make me see nothing. I have painted portraits that to me are almost photographic. I remember hesitating to show the paintings, they looked so real to me. But they have passed into the world as abstractions - no one seeing what they are.

 * I don't remember where I picked up the head — or the hollyhock. Flowers were planted among the vegetables in the garden between the house and the hills and I probably picked the hollyhock one day as I walked past. My paintings sometimes grow by pieces from what is around.. .I have used these things to say what is to me the wideness and wonder of the world as I live in it.

 * It is surprising to me to see how many people separate the objective from the abstract. Objective painting is not good painting unless it is good in the abstract sense. A hill or tree cannot make a good painting just because it is a hill or a tree. It is lines and colours put together so that they say something. For me that is the very basis of painting. The abstraction is often the most definite form for the intangible thing in myself that I can only clarify in paint. …  I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way —  things I had no words for.

 * The unexplainable thing in nature that makes me feel the world is big fat beyond my understanding — to understand maybe by trying to put it into form. To find the feeling of infinity on the horizon line or just over the next hill.

1980s

 * I hate flowers — I paint them because they're cheaper than models and they don't move!
 * quote in Portrait of an Artist: A Biography of Georgia O'Keeffe, Laurie Lisle, Viking Press, New York, 1981, p. 180

Quotes about Georgia O'Keeffe

 * In comparing a natural black iris to the O'Keeffe painting titled 'Black Iris', there is no denying the edge of realism, but there is also no denying the lack of detail. Her paint brush blatantly neglected to add the feathery golden pollen of an iris's stigma as well as the wrinkled texture of the iris's velvet-like petals. Instead, she created softness in the petals that resembles human flesh, and tinted it in pale, pinkish tones rather than the bluish, black hues of a black iris.
 * Jessie Ippersiel, in 'Do Georgia O'Keeffe Paintings Reveal Secrets?', on www.georgia-okeeffe.com

 * And that - that's death riding high in the sky. All these things have death in them.. ('Ever since the middle Twenties', I said') ..Exactly, ever since I realized O'Keeffe couldn't stay with me.
 * Alfred Stieglitz, in a talk with Nancy Newhall, published in 'Equivalents' for the museum of modern Art collection' May 1943; as quoted in 'Alfred Stieglitz' Notes for a Biography, 'From Adams to Stieglitz', Nancy Newhall, ed. Emanual Voyiaziaskis, Aperture Foundation, 1999, pp. 108-09
 * On one photo from his series 'Equivalents'

title: Georgia O'Keeffe


text: User talk:84.41.162.52

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User talk:Prajwal~enwikiquote

--Aphaia 19:10, 26 May 2005 (UTC)

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User:Pufferfish101

My IP address is 151.204.197.70. I am also active in Wikipedia (under the same username).

title: User:Pufferfish101


text:
Talk:Sean Hannity

These quotes all seem decidedly left-leaning...

Does anyone have a link concerning the last quote, about putting Democrats in Gitmo? The quote is rather inflammatory but I was unable to find anything substantiating it.

Wow this page is bias. Why are most of the quotes all from Media Matters? Thats like going to George Bush to see how the Iraq War is going.

 * Agreed. This reads like a Media Matters press release and there are some pretty slanderous, unsourced quotes that keep getting inserted that bring this into BLP territory.  Wikiquote appears to be the preferred method of getting POV material published that would otherwise be caught out at Wikipedia.  I have added a tag to the page to gain administrator attention.

Slanderous or not, suck it up, they're valid & accurate quotes and he must be held accountable for them. 64.231.211.38 19:28, 5 August 2007 (UTC)

I agree with User 64, they are statements he said - it is quoting his beliefs which happened to be idiotic but thats my POV

 * Only citing quotes that make someone look unreasonable is not an acceptable practice on this site. Whether the quotes are valid or not, doing so reveals the author's POV, and a mix of his quotes must be used. 129.81.146.46 02:56, 20 January 2011 (UTC)

Unsourced

 * Here, liberal liberal liberal!
 * at a rally
 * Can we pray for the reelection of George [W.] Bush?
 * Hannity and Colmes
 * You're not listening, Susan. You've got to learn something. Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. He promised to disclose them. And he didn't do it. You would have let him go free; we decided to hold him accountable.
 * Hannity and Colmes
 * Let not your heart be troubled.
 * Radio show
 * Three hours a day, everyday. That's all we ask.
 * Radio show
 * He's not made one mistake in this war, not one [on President Bush's handling of the Iraq War]
 * Radio show [frequently throughout 2006]

 additionally unsourced quotes added on 2011·01·16 : (citing only unreliable source of "http://think-exist.com/quotes/sean_hannity")

 * “Let me be straight with you - I like George Bush. I think he's a man of principle, a man of faith. I think he's got a backbone of steel and he's a real, genuine, big-time leader ... He's a consequential figure for his time. We don't see it right now.”
 * Sean Hannity Quotes

 * "Can't you engage in a real debate without trotting out the old Ted Kennedy remark? That's so tired. Come on, get a new idea already!"
 * Sean Hannity Quotes

 * "There's a lot of massacres going on in the world. As you know, 37,000 Kurds in Turkey, over a million people in Sudan. We have hundreds of thousands in Rwanda and Burundi. I mean, where do we stop?"
 * Sean Hannity Quotes

 * "This is not a partisan issue. This is a time when we should all pull together and focus on what's really important, which is helping the victims."
 * Sean Hannity Quotes

About unsourced quotes from http://think-exist.com/quotes/sean_hannity
I added these, which come from the site "thinkexist.com" under a false URL because the filter rejects citations from thinkexist.com. The quotes are valid, albeit out of context. I think we can cite thinkexist so long as we make it clear in the citation that the hyphen must be deleted. Otherwise, we have to find those quotes cited elsewhere on the internet. 02:47, 20 January 2011 (UTC)

False quote attribution
This quote ''**I'll tell you who should be tortured and killed at Guantanamo: every filthy Democrat in the U.S. Congress. [6/15/05]'' is most likely fake and made up. I noticed that this person also made a similar quote on Rush Limbaugh's page which is now being disputed as fake. I removed it for the reason because looking at the history the post appears here http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Sean_Hannity&diff=90987&oldid=75594 and was removed because the person who removed it stated Quote that I removed is false and made up by some malicious prankster.. However it was restored by the same person claiming (→Sourced: Restored quote removed by anonymous user. It is sourced, and he said it. You may not like it, but that doesn't give you the right to delete it.) as if he was a completely different person when he is one the same. ViriiK 21:00, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

title: Talk:Sean Hannity


text:
3rd Rock from the Sun

3rd Rock From the Sun was an American television situation comedy that ran from 1996 until 2001. The show was about a "family" of four extraterrestrials that landed on Earth to observe human beings, while pretending (often awkwardly) to be humans.

Brains and Eggs

 * Dick: Can anyone get their head to swivel to the rear? (no) Then how are you supposed to lick your back!?

 * Dick: I think we've underestimated the life on this planet. The people have so much courage. Here they are hurling through space on a molten rock at 67000 miles an hour and the only thing that keeps them from flying out of their shoes is their misplaced faith in gravity.

 * Dick: Sally, I want you to observe her, find out what women on this planet do.
 * Sally: Why can't Harry do it?
 * Dick: Because you're the woman.
 * Sally: That brings up a very good question: why am I the woman?
 * Dick: Because you lost.

 * Dick: Oh good you're here. Did you copy the mainframe from the library?
 * Tommy: Uh, I got a little distracted.
 * Dick: Again? What happened?
 * Tommy: Well, I was watching these women play volleyball. And they were all jumping. Up. And down. Up. And down. With these little shorts, and some of them can't jump as high as the others, but it's okay. I mean, it's more than okay, it's really okay. I mean--
 * Dick: What is wrong with you?!
 * Tommy: I don't know.
 * Dick: We can't leave without that information, so access the net, download, and go straight home as soon as you're finished.
 * Tommy: Why are you talking to me like I'm a child?
 * Dick: You are a child.
 * Tommy: I'm older than you.
 * Dick: Well, now I'm bigger. And on this planet size matters.

 * Sally: Dick, women are trouble. I should know! I've been one for two weeks!
 * Dick: I know, which brings up another point. I command you to shave under your arms.
 * Sally: Doable. I'm sorry you find me so offensive (tears up)
 * Dick: Dammit! Pull yourself together, man! We're going out.
 * Sally: Ok, give me an hour.
 * Dick: An hour?
 * Sally: I got to rotate these (indicating breasts). It's a party!

 * Dick: I want very much to feel, and to be felt. And I mean that from the heart of my bottom.

 * Harry: Women. You can't live with 'em, and yet they're everywhere.

Post Nasal Dick

 * Dick: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. (flips to the back of the book) I'm not going to read 380 pages if he can't even make up his mind in the first sentence!

 * Tommy: Sally, you're amazing. As sick as you are, you keep taking care of us.
 * Sally: Yeah, I know. I don't understand. All I want to do is curl up into a ball, and yet somehow I feel compelled to nurture you. God, what a cruel disease!

 * Minister: We are gathered here, before God....
 * Dick: Now, which one of those guys is God?
 * Mary: Will you be quiet?
 * Dick: Okay, but be sure to introduce me later, because I want some answers.

 * Dick: Mary, there's something I have to tell you. I come from another world.
 * Mary: And this is news?

 * Dick: You know, you have to admire these humans. Their lives are so fragile, and yet they are willing to commit to each other for a lifetime.
 * Sally: Or an afternoon with some petri dish in a miniskirt.
 * Tommy: Hey, hey! At least I'm getting some here, alright?

Dick's First Birthday

 * Dick: [reading the Bible] Man, these people begat their brains out!

 * Dick: Dr. Albright, have I been a perfect ass?
 * Mary: Aw, nobody's perfect.

Dick Is From Mars, Sally Is From Venus

 * Sally: You just can't imagine what it feels like, Dick. It's like he reached in... and pulled all the bones out of my body... [starts crying]
 * Dick: My God, what are you doing?
 * Sally: [wipes her tears] Apparently I'm leaking!
 * Dick: Well, stop!

 * Tommy: [pointing to the stars] I've been there and there and there and there...
 * Harry: Wow. The long, boring stories you must have.

Dick, Smoker

 * Dick: We suck, we blow -- a posse of oral fixators. Oh, yeah, we're bad. They can isolate us, but they'll never separate us. Let them try and ban smoking, for if they do!.. They'll just have a bunch of SMOKEN' OUTLAWS on their hands!

 * Harry: By the second day I could hear my inner voice, too.
 * Tommy: What was it saying?
 * Harry: I have no idea, I don't speak French.

Green-Eyed Dick

 * [Sally walks into the men's locker room]
 * Man: Hey, it says "men" on the door!
 * Sally: And you made the cut?

 * Mary: I'm going to have to find someone who can translate Ukrainian.
 * Dick: Uh, that's not Ukrainian, that's Turkish. Look, there's a diacritical mark over the 'o'. Bunlar her zaman savaş ganimetleri doğru beni işaret edebilir.
 * Mary: Well, what does it mean?
 * Dick: May these always point me toward the spoils of war. This isn't a thimble. It's Turkish nipple armor. In fact, it's very valuable.
 * Mary: Especially if you have the pair!

 * Dick: [to Jeff] You think you're pretty clever, don't you? I happen to know that every word in your book was published years ago! Perhaps you've read...the dictionary!

Lonely Dick

 * [Tommy and August meet for the first time]
 * August: I'm August. Don't call me "Augy".
 * Tommy: I'm Tommy. Don't call me "Augy" either...

 * Dick: I'm sure you can defeat a simple door lock.
 * [Tommy breaks through the window with his hand and unlocks the door]
 * Dick: What are you doing?! Now this is breaking and entering! It's illegal!
 * Tommy: What'd you expect me to do? Beam you in?

Body & Soul & Dick

 * Harry: (holding the remote) This is the second most exciting thing I have ever held in my hand.

 * Sally: How would you like your eyes in the bottom of a martini glass, 'cause I can do it?
 * Dr. Hamlin: [sounding delighted] Oh, the Amazon is going to manhandle me!
 * Sally: You're not worth the broken nail.

 * Harry: Oh, Dick, we've got cable! Seventy-two channels! And unlike primitive free television this one you get to pay for.

 * Dick: How can we honor the memory of a man like Leonard Hanlin? well......he was governed by the laws of physics as are all living things. it is a scientific fact that hearts and clocks slow down as they approach the speed of light, the point at which matter is converted into energy. Dr. Hanlin's heart approached that speed on friday evening at 7:57 according to the coroner, converting his matter into energy, into pure white light. Though he is no longer with us, he is all around us.
 * Mary: That was absolutely beautiful.
 * Tommy: Converting matter to energy?
 * Sally: Could you have been more trite?
 * Harry: Why didn't you just phone it in?

Ab-Dick-ted

 * Sally: I'll give you your promotion if you don't say the word "really" in the next sixty seconds.
 * Harry: Really?
 * Sally You lose!

 * Dick: So, no matter how obnoxious you are, how much of a burden you become, you can still count on the forgiveness of your family?
 * Mary: Yeah.
 * Dick: Even if they touch your radio and refuse to make smoked chub and disobey your orders not to kill?
 * Mary: Yeah... even then.
 * Dick: That is so beautiful!

Truth or Dick

 * [opera plays on the car radio]
 * Harry: Dick, remember how I said I wanted to learn to sing? I've changed my mind.

 * Nina: I knew you had a thing for her.
 * Dick: Yes, but I understand I'm not allowed to show it to her without her permission.

 * Sally: Wait a minute, something about this doesn't wash. She's doing something (gasps) Now I remember! I read about this. She's distorting the truth!
 * Dick: Dr. Albright would never lie to me.
 * Sally: Oh wake up and snort the coffee. (pause) Just because you don't lie doesn't mean people here don't.
 * Dick: We're colleagues! I trust her! I command you to be like her!
 * Sally: Like what?
 * Dick: Like a woman.
 * Sally: Fine! I can woman.

 * Tommy: Commander, permission to speak freely.
 * Dick: Granted.
 * Tommy: As the oldest member of this crew, I feel it's my duty to inform you all that this planet both wipes and sucks. In that order.

 * Mrs. Dubcek: Poor kid. I remember what it's like to be your age.
 * Tommy: I remember what it's like to be yours.

The Art of Dick

 * [Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]
 * Harry: Here's a job I could do; "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march over to the police station and tell them that I'm the man they're looking for!

 * Dick: [talking about art] What makes them strive to create this?
 * Tommy: Naked women.
 * Dick: These are not naked women, they're nudes. Nudity is the artist's passionate celebration of the human form.
 * Tommy: [taking an art book] Well, party on!d GB VG

Frozen Dick

 * [Harry explains how he's reorganized the movies at Gung-Ho Videos]
 * Harry: [refers to one rack] Good movies. [refers to another rack] Bad movies. [refers to the rest of the room] Movies I haven't seen.

 * [Harry is working at a video store]
 * Customer: Excuse me, where can I find Aliens?
 * Harry: Nowhere! Not here, that's for sure. Nobody here but us humans. [in a nervous sing-song voice] La, la, la... la, la, la. [a beat] Stop looking at me!

Angry Dick

 * Patty Muller: I don't envy you having to take care of three men; I only got Frank and he's a full-time job. Just once, I'd like to see that man pick up a sock.
 * Sally: I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink.
 * Patty Muller: I'd like to see them do laundry.
 * Sally: [deadpan] I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels and ground into a fine paste.
 * Patty Muller: [after a beat] You know, I'd like to see that myself.
 * Sally: You let me know.

 * [Frank and Dick have had a fight]
 * Dick: Why are you suddenly so civil?
 * Frank Muller: Now we know each other's boundaries. You know my limits, I know your limits, so now we can respect each other.
 * Tommy: Wait, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to gain each other's respect, you had to resort to violent confrontations. Now doesn't that strike you as stupid?
 * Frank Muller: [after a beat] Kids, huh?
 * Dick: They don't understand the world.

The Dicks They Are A-Changin'

 * Mary: They opened a Hard Rock Café in Vietnam. The world's changed, huh?
 * Dick: It certainly has. Did you know it used to be entirely covered with ice?

 * [Reminiscing about the 60's]
 * Mary: Did you ever drop acid?
 * Dick: [misunderstanding] Oh, constantly.
 * Mary: You did a lot of tripping?
 * Dick: That's how I dropped the acid.

I Enjoy Being A Dick

 * Tommy: Sally, I got a question for you. We've been on the planet a while now and I've just been wondering if we were to tell someone we cared about where we were actually from, do you think it'd be so dangerous?
 * Sally: No, not at all, Tommy. In fact I've already told Mrs. Dubcek and the mailman, uh, and a nice guy down at the mini-mall, BECAUSE I WANT US ALL TO DIE LIKE LAB RATS AT THE HANDS OF PRIMITIVE SCIENTISTS!!!

 * Harry: I want to make the world a better place. I want to give mankind the gift... of electricity.
 * Tommy: They have electricity.
 * Harry: Ah, then my work is done!

 * Dick: Everybody here sells his time for money. It’s like taking a mortgage against your life.

Dick Like Me

 * Mr Randell: Well, uh, the truth is that, uh, I think Tommy could do a lot better.
 * Dick: Be careful sir. You're talking about the creature I've come to think of as my son.

 * [about Tommy's teacher, Mr Randell]
 * Sally: He's giving off this vibe? Can't you feel it?
 * Dick: Yes I think I do. Does it feel like a stabbing pain in your left buttock?
 * Sally: Uh, no.
 * [Dick reaches under his chair]
 * Dick: Then I appear to be sitting on a tack.
 * [Holds up a tack]

Assault With A Deadly Dick

 * Dick: What kind of a place is this where you can't wave handfuls of money around in the middle of the night?

 * Dick: Okay, let's get this straight; I don't care how much it costs, I don't care how difficult it is to accomplish, I want a security system that will guarantee every moment of our lives will be filled with a sense of absolute safety and contentment.
 * Salesman: That would be the ElectroFort 2000. The alarm connects directly to our command center downtown, where we immediately dispatch trained patrol men to your door.
 * Sally: I see. I just have one question.
 * Salesman: Sure.
 * Sally: Where do I bury my family after the burglars have pumped bullets into their skulls while your guys are strolling over?

 * Don: Okay Mr. Solomon. It's time to finger your perp.
 * Dick: (points to Mary) Believe me I've tried but she just won't let me.

Father Knows Dick

 * Dick: You've got a thing in your head.
 * Harry: A thing?
 * Dick: Cranial micro receiver chip.
 * Harry: In my head.
 * Dick: But it's not in the part you use; it's in your brain.

 * Dick: Tomorrow there will be a pop quiz on the effects of thermodynamics. Remember it's a pop quiz; if you study, I'll know!

 * Harry: What matters most is life itself. And the greatest thing about life is not having a purpose; it's about finding a purpose.

Selfish Dick

 * Sally: I've seen stuff that would make your eyes burst out of your sockets and splatter against the wall... in fact, I've seen that, too.

 * Dick: A terrible injustice has been done.
 * Professor Suter: What?
 * Dick: [raising his voice] I said a great injustice has been done!
 * Professor Suter: [annoyed] I heard you. What's the big injustice?
 * Dick: Someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you.
 * Professor Suter: What?
 * Dick: [raising his voice] I said someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you!

See Dick Run

 * [Dick meets his replacement for the first time]
 * Dick: You! You're gorgeous!

 * [Dick is locked in an invisible box and feels the walls]
 * Dick: Oh my God! He's turned me into a mime!

 * [after learning that the "family" are returning to their home planet]
 * Dick: I wish I had a machine that could freeze time...
 * [Mary looks at him questioningly]
 * Dick: Unfortunately, I left it in my other jacket.

See Dick Continue to Run: Part I

 * Tommy: You work at the university.
 * Evil Dick: [smugly] Ah, so I run the university.
 * Tommy: Well, not so much run as teach a physics class.
 * Evil Dick: I'm a teacher? Were all the janitor's jobs taken?

 * Evil Dick: You see, I am building the greatest incubator these puny humans have ever known. And when it is completed, I will spawn my own private army of —
 * [The crew stares at him apprehensively]
 * Evil Dick: Of... fuzzy Easter chicks.

See Dick Continue to Run: Part 2

 * Evil Dick: Watch the destruction my little device wreaks on the world you love so well.
 * Dick: [outraged] What have you done to our toaster?

 * Dick: Oh, Mary! You have to get away from here!
 * Mary: You want me to try to escape?
 * Dick: Yes!
 * Mary: [pretending to struggle] Oh, let me go, let me go! How's that?

Hotel Dick

 * [Dick wants to tell Mary that he's an alien, but the others forbid it]
 * Sally: Well fine, but let it be on your own head!
 * Tommy: Which will probably be sitting next to our heads on a tray somewhere in New Mexico!

 * Harry: [to people who haven't yet seen a movie] Attention, ticket holders! At the end of the movie, when the President turns out to be an alien and he barbecues all the Congressmen, don't believe it because aliens hate barbecue!

 * Harry: I say we hold an alien pride parade!

 * Tommy: You're gonna be like some sort of alien Martin Luther King?
 * Harry: Exactly. Because I, too, have a dream. And in that dream I'm naked on a ferris wheel.

Big Angry Virgin From Outer Space

 * Sally: The worst part is I'm still a virgin!
 * Mary: Oh my God, you're a virgin?
 * Sally: Yes, it's horrible!
 * Mary: No, it's perfectly all right for you to save yourself for the right man.
 * Sally: Like you did for Dick?
 * Mary: [a shocked look on her face, after a long pause] Yes.

 * Tommy: People change for their lovers all the time. For example, I stopped wearing Old Spice and August stopped telling me to stop wearing Old Spice.

 * [Mary consoling Sally after her break up]
 * Mary: . . . I like you Sally.
 * Sally: I didn't know you liked me
 * Mary: Well I do, you're strong, opinionated, intelligent young woman, unpredictable at time, a little scary, but hell that's you.
 * Sally: That is me. I like me too, but why didn't Mr. Randall?
 * Mary: Well he's just not the right guy for you, but you'll find someone, I mean just look at you: those legs, that hair...
 * Sally: Please I've been dragged through the muck enough today!
 * Mary: Just chalk this up to experience.
 * Sally: Thanks Dr. Albright, you're so nice. I always thought you were such a bitch.
 * Mary: Oh I am. But hell, that's me.

Much Ado About Dick

 * Tommy: Harry, I need a ride.
 * Harry: Nope.
 * Tommy: You know, I outrank you.
 * Harry: In that case... no, sir!

 * [Harry is watching "Looney Tunes" and Tommy wants a ride from him]
 * Tommy: I'll tell you what: if the Road Runner wins this next one, you take me, but if he doesn't... I'll never ask you again.
 * Harry: Okay, you're on. I've seen this next scheme before and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.

Dick the Vote

 * Dick: What's the point of having a democracy, if everybody's going to vote wrong?

 * Gansmiller: [about Harry] Damn! No past, no experience, no record... the perfect candidate.

Fourth and Dick

 * Dick: Badgers don't suck! They bite!

 * Dick: Ah, yes, the "big game." God forbid your intellectual development should get in the way of the "big game." The fate of humanity rests on the outcome of the "big game."
 * Bug: Is he being sarcastic?

World's Greatest Dick

 * Tommy: I've got to be in a regular school; one with metal detectors and pregnant cheerleaders.

 * Dick: I'm banned? Well guess what, Tommy didn't even want to come to this robot-factory-outlet. I made him. Me! Me! Me! Now I'm putting him back into a real school, where he can be himself. Not a school where kids are judged on how well they test or how much they know. Where they aren't judged at all! Where they have the freedom to stay faceless and nameless. From K through twelve, carrying their diplomas straight through the golden arches, and on into their waiting McJobs! C'mon, Tommy, we're going home.

My Mother The Alien

 * [Mrs. Dubcek wants the aliens to babysit her grandson]
 * Mrs. Dubcek: He's had his nap and he's just been changed.
 * Sally: What was he before?

 * Mrs. Dubcek: He's got teeth coming in.
 * Harry: Well, don't worry; we'll sign for them.

Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick

 * Dick: [explaining Thanksgiving] It's a national holiday.
 * Tommy: What, like Big Giant Head Day?
 * Dick: Similar...except that no one gets thrown into the sun.

 * [Tommy picks up two pool balls, holds them in the air and then drops them so they land back on the table]
 * Tommy: Excuse me, this game's not three-dimensional, is it?

-
 * Vicki: (after having sex with Harry on the kitchen table)...I've never felt this way before.
 * Harry:...I've never felt this sticky before.

Dick Jokes

 * Tommy: Okay, could you give me an example of what's funny?
 * August: I thought the movie Emma was very funny.
 * Tommy: What was so funny about it?
 * August: It was full of irony.
 * Tommy: Okay, so irony's funny?
 * August: Yeah, because you say one thing while the opposite is actually true.
 * Tommy: Oh, like when you said Emma was going to be a really great movie when it actually sucked out loud?

 * Harry: I lost more than a coat, Tommy. I lost a friend — a buddy — a companion who kept me warm when it was cold and warmer when it was kind of too hot to be wearing a coat.

Jolly Old St. Dick

 * Dick: Who needs Christmas anyway? I say bug humbar.

 * Nina: You know, this is the only time of year I like White music.

Proud Dick

 * Harry: Thank you for seeing me, Father. I didn't know where else to turn.
 * Priest: Well, that's why they pay me the big bucks.

 * Dick: Welcome to Rusty's. How may I serve you?
 * Customer: How do you make your burgers?
 * Dick: Excellent question. First, a clamp comes down onto the cow's head, forcing it onto a conveyor belt, where a prod is inserted into the cow's rectum, electrocuting it.
 * Customer: Gimme two.
 * Dick: Thank you, and remember: at Rusty's, E-coli is not on the menu.
 * Doug: Stop saying that!

Romeo & Juliet & Dick

 * Officer Don: Hamlet? The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story... but there it is.
 * Tommy: Isn't that the plot to The Lion King?

 * Dick: You were good: you had delivery, presence, timing, you just didn't have that indefinable something extra.
 * Tommy: I was just trying to score some points with my girlfriend, is that too much to ask?
 * Dick: Romeo and Juliet is a Shakespearian tragedy, it has nothing to do with a horny teenager and his girlfriend!

Guilty as Dick

 * Mary: Have a little compassion, Sally. We're healthy; we have to help him.
 * Sally: I say he's lame. Shoot him.

 * [Tommy is selling chocolate door-to-door and he encounters a priest at one door]
 * Tommy: Hi, Father, I'm selling chocolate so the high-school band can go to Washington... and learn about Christianity...so they can become priests.
 * [The priest closes the door in Tommy's face]
 * Tommy: Fine then; they'll stay here in Rutherford and worship Satan!

A Dick on One Knee

 * Michael: You see, I would like to stay very much, but your government isn't so nice.
 * Sally: Except for Abraham Lincoln, right?

 * Sally: It's what women are supposed to do; get married, have babies, hire total strangers to raise them and then wonder where they went wrong.

Same Old Song and Dick

 * Sally: You could never handle my job.
 * Harry: I could do it with my eyes closed!
 * Tommy: You do everything with your eyes closed.

I Brake for Dick

 * Tommy: [about August] I don't understand her.
 * Sally: What's to understand? Kill her and get a new one.
 * Harry: Oh, no, you can't do that. You've got to get a new one and then you kill her.

 * Sally: The Official Boy Scouts' Guidebook. Who're the Boy Scouts?
 * Harry: They're an elite, prepubescent, paramilitary society and I'm going to follow their ways.
 * Sally: But Harry, you're neither elite nor prepubescent.
 * Harry: All in good time, Sally... all in good time.

Dick Behaving Badly

 * Harry: [while playing Monopoly] Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 and do not, I repeat do not drop the soap.

 * Dick: I'm tired of feeling like a Catholic schoolboy always getting his knuckles rapped by the nun he's dating.

 [Judith and Mary during Physics party]
 * Judith: Men, can't live with them, [Long Pause] good night Mary. [She leaves]

Dickmalion

 * Dick: What's going on?
 * Nina: Oh, she's having a big affair.
 * Dick: What? You tramp!
 * Mary: Dick, it's a catered affair.
 * Dick: You're cheating on me and your diet?

 * Sally: So you're saying that when a 300-pound soprano and a 250-pound tenor dress in funny costumes and take 15 minutes to die, that's art. But when the Gravedigger takes on the Caped Canadian, that's trash? I'm sorry, I don't get it.

 * Dick: I don't mean to panic anyone, but I'm afraid the calamari has been infested with baby squid.

Sensitive Dick

 * Dick: Where would we be without the agitators of the world to attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?

 * Judith: We will now deliberate and return with a guilty verdict.

Will Work For Dick

 * Dick: You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.
 * Harry: Nope.
 * Dick: Well, you've stapled before...
 * Harry: I have not.
 * Dick: Surely you've used a paperclip.
 * Harry: Oh! You mean those cotton things you put in your ears?
 * Dick: Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?
 * Harry: Two!
 * Dick: You're hired.

 * Dick: Harry, did I get any phone calls?
 * Harry: Oh, yes, it rang repeatedly.
 * Dick: And... who called?
 * Harry: Well, I don't know, Dick, I'm not clairvoyant.

 * Mary: Does this mean you've come to your senses and you're going to apologize to Nina?
 * Dick: No, I will never come to my senses!

Fifteen Minutes of Dick

 * Tommy: Sally, they want you to appear on Good Afternoon, Rutherford.
 * Harry: That's my second-favorite show!
 * Dick: What's your first-favorite?
 * Harry: Good Morning, Rutherford.

Dick and the Single Girl

 * Dick: Can we take more than one?
 * Nina: Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing.
 * Mary: Don't be so insensitive.
 * Nina: [to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!

A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 1

 * Sally: Don, what happens to people? Are they born mad or do one day their minds just snap?
 * Officer Don: If only we knew, Sally. One minute little Johnny Normal is on his paper route and the next there's a pile of dead bank guards and Johnny is using Grandma as a human shield.

A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 2

 * [Dick and Sally are doped out on antidepressants]
 * Sally: I like TV.
 * Dick: Me too. Let's say we turn it on. [he turns it on]
 * Sally: It's even better on.

Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 1

 * Dick: Oh, Mary! I've just had one of those horrible dreams!
 * Mary: Well what happened?
 * Dick: We were getting married!
 * Mary: [sarcastically] Thank you...
 * Dick: No, that was the good part. Then, my family showed up.
 * Mary: Oh, don't tell me? They objected?
 * Dick: Well...they had issues.
 * Mary: It's alright. I prepared a short speech just in case they did. It's just basically two words... and one of them's "off."

 * [in his classroom]
 * Dick: Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!

Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 2

 * Harry: Look at the bright side, Dick: with Janet out of the way, maybe you'll get another shot at Albright.
 * Dick: You think?
 * Harry: Probably no. But hey, at least there's still the three of us.
 * Dick [slight pause]]: Wait, didn't there used to be four of us?
 * Harry: Oh, yeah! Officer Don called. "Tommy's in jail."
 * [Brief pause.]
 * Dick, Sally, Harry: JAIL? [They panic and run out of the apartment.]
 * Dick: You idiots!

 * [Sally and Harry run into the police station.]
 * Sally: Don! Where's Tommy?
 * Officer Don: Oh, you're too late.
 * [Harry screams. Sally grabs Don by the throat.]
 * Sally: You killed Tommy?!
 * Officer Don: No, I let him go!
 * Sally: You let Tommy go to his death?
 * [Harry screams again. Tommy suddenly appears right behind him.]
 * Tommy: Hey, Harry.
 * [Harry turns around and shouts again at the sight of Tommy.]

Tricky Dick

 * Dick: Women.
 * Tommy: Women.
 * Officer Don: Women.
 * Harry: [high-pitched voice] Women!
 * Dick: You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.
 * Harry: That's probably true.

 * Dick: Women always act so adult, but just like that they'll sink all the way down to your level.

Dick-In-Law

 * Dick: I want to make a good impression on Mary's parents.
 * Sally: Mary Albright‘s parents?
 * Tommy: They're still alive?:
 * Sally: My God, they must be so old!

Scaredy Dick

 * [Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]
 * Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
 * Harry: NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.

 * [Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate seeing mary talking to another partygoer] Yaaaarrrr look who thinks he's scary,well I be not a feared of ye,ya bag of bones,now unhand me former wench,
 * Dick: Doctor Howard!! (looks around akwardly)......shiver me timbers.......
 * Doctor Howard [dressed as a skeleton]: Where are your buccaneers?
 * Dick: Under my buckin' hat!?

Moby Dick

 * Dick: Why should I be concerned about gaining weight? My body is just the vehicle that carries my brain around - and my brain deserves a smooth, luxurious ride.

 * [Dick is putting on a corset to become thinner]
 * Sally: What's that?
 * Dick: It's called the 'Shatner.'

 * [Sally is talking to her plant]
 * Sally: You hungry? Oh, I know you--you wouldn't say anything if you were.
 * ''[she pours some of her Coke into the pot]
 * Sally: You're so nice. You're not at all arrogant or demanding like most people I know.
 * Tommy: You must be bored out of your mind.
 * Sally: Actually, I'm not.
 * Tommy: I was talking to the plant.

 * [Harry, with a camera, sneaks up behind August in school to get a photo of her]
 * August (noticing Harry): Harry?
 * Harry: I am not Harry.
 * August: What are you doing here? And what's with the camera?
 * Harry: What camera?

 * Dick: My pants fit! I won the war!
 * Harry: That's great, Dick! So you lost weight?
 * Dick: Even better - I bought bigger pants!

Eleven Angry Men and One Dick

 * Dick: Maybe you'll all change your tune when you hear about something called... 'reasonable doubt.'
 * Juror #1: What's the point?
 * Dick: The point is it's reasonable to assume Foster used the money to pay for his daughter's life-threatening operation.
 * Juror #2: No, it isn't.
 * Juror #3: He doesn't have a daughter.
 * Juror #1: It's not reasonable doubt if you just make things up!

 * [Jury selection]
 * Prosecuting lawyer: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper?
 * Dick: Yes! No! I don't know what I believe anymore! You tell me what to believe and I'll do it!
 * Prosecuting lawyer: He's fine with me.
 * Defense lawyer: Me, too.

A Friend in Dick

 * Dick: I'm not finger-pointing... [points at Mary]...but it's YOUR fault! YOU!

Seven Deadly Clips

 * Tommy: This ice cream is delicious.
 * Harry: [looking at the box] Actually, it's ‘sinfully delicious.' I would gladly go to Hell for a pint of this.

Tom, Dick and Mary

 * Dick: Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about?
 * Nina: I don't know, and it's none of my business.
 * Dick: It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it!
 * Nina: That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain.
 * Dick: I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!

 * Mary: Most people dismiss non-literate cultures.
 * Tommy: Well, we live in one.

Jailhouse Dick

 * Officer Don: Here, sign this.
 * Eddie: What is it?
 * Officer Don: Oh, it just absolves us of any wrongdoing in arresting you without reason and without any evidence. It's standard.

 * Dick: Eddie, you stole my car, but more importantly, you broke my heart. You wanna know what's worse?
 * Eddie: What?
 * Dick: That you stole my car.

36! 24! 36! Dick!: Part 2

 * Tommy: We don't have cell phones; we're from Ohio!

 * Harry: (to Tommy and Dick) Boys, we're going to San Francisco!
 * Mascha: San Diego!
 * Harry: San Diego!

Pickles and Ice Cream

 * Dick: Nina, here are the keys to my Rambler. Take it somewhere and have my tires rotated.
 * Nina: That's not in my job description.
 * Dick: What is in your job description?
 * Nina: Typing.
 * Dick: Okay, well, type it into your job description and have it done by lunch.

 * Mary: I think it's unfair that you demand Sally do whatever you want as if you were... king of the universe!
 * Dick: Oh, please! We look nothing alike.

Auto Erodicka

 * Sally: Don't listen to him, he's just a kid.
 * Salesman: Oh, don't worry. I used to be a kid myself... a long time ago. [laughs] Say there, sport, you like girls?
 * Tommy: Yeah. Sorry.

Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man

 * [Harry has taken over Tommy's job as Information Officer]
 * Dick: Harry, write this down. I need you to find a place--
 * Harry: W-w-wait. [writes] I...need...you...to...find...
 * Dick: Harry, forget writing it down. Just memorize it. I need you to find-—
 * Harry: W-w-wait. [puts finger to forehead] I...need...you...to...find...
 * Dick: Harry, forget memorizing it. Just listen to me. I need you to find a place for Mary to sing. Harry?
 * Harry: Oh, sorry, I was thinking about cake.

Stuck with Dick

 * Dick: The library’s closed on Saturday?
 * Mary: Dick, this — is — not — a — good — school!

 * Nina: Where's Dr. Albright?
 * Tommy: Well, we're not sure, but we think she's having sex with Dick in an unknown location.
 * Nina: Oh my God, what is she thinking?
 * Tommy: What's she thinking? What is he thinking?
 * Nina: Okay, can we just agree they're both freaks?
 * Tommy: Yeah!

My Daddy's Little Girl

 * George Albright: [entering Mary's office] Mary.
 * Mary: Daddy!
 * George Albright: Hey there, magpie.
 * Mary: What a nice surprise.
 * George Albright: Well, not really... I've left your mother.
 * Mary: Again?

 * Eddie: Just a couple of rules: don't curse and don't spill nothing and if you spill something, don't curse.

The Physics of Being Dick

 * Dick: How about a new strategy? What about "sad cop, slightly effeminate cop?"

 * Dick: And what makes that cop's gun so cool? PHYSICS! Kinetic energy generates the velocity with which the bullet exits the barrel, while the ballistics coefficient and sectional density determine the damage to its targets! Guns don't kill people, PHYSICS kills people!

Just Your Average Dick

 * Sally: It says here the average American uses 4.1 pounds of butter a year.
 * Tommy: Orally?

 * Sally: I'm part of a community--a community that embraces wholesome, American values. And if you cross us... we will destroy you.

Dick and the Other Guy

 * Mary: This is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth!
 * Dick: Once again I come in second.

 * Dick: Dr. Neesam, I find you to be pompous, judgmental and completely self-absorbed. Would you be my friend?
 * [pause]
 * Liam: We'll see.

 * Liam: Your head is like a cookie. I just want to eat it.

Sally and Don's First Kiss

 * Mary: So you're going to let this woman control your life?
 * Dick: No, just the lunch part. [a beat] My favorite part.

The Tooth Harry

 * Harry: [to Nina] Don't worry, Nina. I won't let anyone else hurt you.
 * Dentist: Don't forget about your appointment on Friday, Nina.
 * Harry: Until Friday.

 * [Harry left twenty dollars under Nina's pillow as payment from the Tooth Fairy for the four wisdom teeth she lost. Just as they're about to have sex, Nina finds the money.]
 * Nina: What's this?
 * Harry: Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.
 * Nina: You left me twenty bucks?
 * Harry: Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?
 * Nina: Going rate?!
 * Harry: Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.

Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

 * [the Solomons confront Tommy about his cooking skills]
 * Sally: I can't believe it! You can cook!
 * Harry: You
 * Tommy: No, no, I can't cook! I swear!
 * Dick: Well, then how do you explain this? (indicates oregano and rosemary on the table)
 * Tommy: This, uh...is marijuana!
 * Dick: This whole time we've been eating her slop, and you're a damn gourmet!!
 * Tommy: No, no, it's pot! I swear! I smoke it with my friends. I like to... toke up on the..fat daddies...uh...dude...
 * Sally: Ugh, I blame myself. How could I have missed all the signs? I mean, just last month I was doing laundry and I found a measuring spoon in his pants.
 * Dick: I was as blind as you, Sally. At the mall, he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him coming out of the williams and Sonoma!
 * Harry: (picks up vial of white powder) Oh, Tommy! (opens, tastes what's inside) it's confectioner's sugar!
 * Dick: Confectioner's sugar? So you've been baking, too?! (hugs Sally) Look what your selfishness has done to Sally! Get out of my sight!
 * Tommy: (starts to leave)
 * Dick: Oh, but first, make me a spinach and fennel frittata.
 * Sally: (nods) Yeah, me too.

 * Randy: I think you're Harry.
 * Harry: Well, I think you're hairy!

 * [Don is telling a story]
 * Officer Don: And then I said to the robber, "Not your pants, the gun!" [everyone laughs] Yeah... that didn't really happen.

 * Tommy:I gotta say I feel liberated,not having to sneak around all the time,its just so nice being able to wear my apron out in the open[Audience laugh]
 * Harry:why breakfast was great I've never had a spinach frittttttaaaaaa.
 * [Harry starts shaking and puts his hands out in front of him in the kitchen in front of tommy and sally who have just came back from grocery shopping after becoming fully aware that tommy can actually cook,and cook well]
 * Harry: IIIIIIIncoming message from the big giant head!!
 * Sally: ooooooh my god Dick get in here!!
 * Dick:[Running through from the living room]:What is it!?
 * [Harry still with his hands stretched out]
 * Harry:Our records indicate that your status report is 22 days late,please submit your finished report to the big giant head's personal assistant,big giant jenny![audience laughs]
 * Sally:I hate that bitch![audience laugh again]
 * Harry:Tramission ending in 3..2..1[Harry sneezes]:oooh whats going on!?
 * Tommy:Dick didnt finish the status report!

Power Mad Dick

 * [the Solomons have a repairman over]
 * Dick: Sally, you seein' Don today?
 * Sally: Seein' him? I'm losing my virginity to him!
 * Repairman: You know, I can come back.

 * Harry: I'll never forget the time I lost my virginity to ol'... what's-her-name over at... the place. Magic.

Collect Call for Dick

 * Harry: Dubcek's threatening to make me work it off and I don't think she's talking about mowing the lawn.

 * "The Columbian": Oh, I got top dollar--I got better than top dollar.
 * Dick: Well then, by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?

 * Mary: Hey Dick. What's with all the Rusty burgers?
 * Dick: Ah, well I'm just uh, preparing box lunches for the homeless.
 * Mary: Why are you putting all of the food in the trash?
 * Dick: It makes them more comfortable. Mary- you can be so insenitive!

What's Love Got to Do, Got to Do with Dick?

 * Eric: I'm waiting to get into the K-9 unit.
 * Sally: Aw, what's the hold up?
 * Officer Don: Well, our- our dog ran away. But we're putting up fliers.

D3: Judgment Day

 * Dick: Oh, I miss those days with Mary. Breakfast in bed, lunch in the bed. Changing the sheets... 'cause there's food in the bed.

Indecent Dick

 * Dick: Harry, are you naked or am I seeing things?
 * Harry: Actually it's a little of both.

 * Pitman: We all came into this world naked.
 * Dick: Well, I didn't.

 * Sally: Hey, the mail's here.
 * Dick: Ah, the mail. What would a day on Earth be like without the mail?
 * Harry: Probably a lot like Sunday.
 * Dick: You know. That's very clever, Harry.
 * Tommy: Hey, wait. I said that.
 * Harry: Oh really? How sad.

 * Dick: I have an aunt Florence.
 * Mary: What?
 * Dick: Oh, that was aunt Florence in Indiana.
 * Nina: Since when do you have an aunt Florence in Indiana?
 * Dick: Since when do you have an aunt Florence in Indiana?
 * Nina: I don't.
 * Dick: So where's the big coincidence? You know, Nina. Sometimes you makes no sense.

 * Mary: What did your father tell you about the family?
 * Dick: Not a lot. He, uh... lost his mouth in the war.

Dick and Taxes

 * Mary: You wanted to see me, Dick?
 * Dick: Oh, Mary, thank God! I wanted to show you that if you mix up the letters in your last name, it spells "lab right!"
 * [pause]
 * Mary: Okay, but wh-what was the emergency that couldn't wait another second that made me... get off the phone with Chancellor?
 * Dick: Lab right!

 * [filling out tax forms]
 * Dick: Line 14, "other gains or losses."
 * Tommy: I gained two pounds.
 * Sally: I lost my virginity.

Sally Forth

 * Officer Don: Sally, I'm a cop. I've got keen instincts. And right now, my instincts are telling me that... I don't know what the hell is going on.

Y2dicK

 * Tommy: It's like watching Entertainment Tonight in Carnegie-frickin'-Hall!

Dick 'The Mouth' Solomon

 * Dick: And so they served us these balls made entirely of meat. Have you seen these?
 * Nina: Er, yeah.
 * Dick: They're shaped like say a tennis ball. Have you seen these?
 * Nina: Of course I have!
 * Dick: But you don't play with them, you eat them! You've seen these?
 * Nina: Many times!
 * [Nina storms off]
 * Dick: Well it sounds like you haven't!

 * Dick: [holds up a football] This is a football, [Holds up baseball] This is a baseball, [Holds up a tennis ball] This is a tennis ball, [Holds up what looks to be a meatball] Now, do you know what this is?
 * Nina: It's a meatball.
 * Dick: No, Nina you're wrong. It's a ping-pong ball covered in meat. [Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a meatball] This is a meatball.
 * Nina: You are the meatball. YOU ARE THE MEAT BALL!
 * [Nina storms off]
 * Dick: She doesn't know what a meatball is. Sad.

Alien Hunter

 * Dick: [while gagged, mumbling on the telephone to Judith] Mmmph!
 * Judith: [sarcastically, alternating between Dick's mumblings] Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. I'm hot now. Do me. Do me all night. I know it's you, Dick. [hangs up]
 * Dick: Damn!

 * Officer Don: The F.B.I. are coming into town tomorrow.
 * Dick: What for?
 * Officer Don: That's classified.
 * Tommy: You have no idea, do you?
 * [pause]
 * Officer Don: That's also classified.

Dick vs. Strudwick

 * Nina: You think you're the smartest man on the planet, don't you?
 * Dick: For the thousandth time, YES!

 * Vincent Strudwick: So... what'd you think of the book?
 * Dick: As bathroom fare? A triumph!

Dick's Big Giant Headache: Part 1

 * Dick: Families don't refer to each other by rank. They use more familiar terms like "you" or "bastard" or... "you bastard."

 * Big Giant Head: The yelling will cease and the killing will commence!

Episode I: the Baby Menace

 * [the aliens are looking for Vicki's hybrid alien baby in the nursery]
 * Tommy: Which one is it?
 * Dick: It must be him - it's hideous.
 * Man: Hey, that's my daughter!
 * Dick: I'm so sorry; she's hideous.

Dick for Tat

 * Mary: I am so hungover!
 * Dick: Oh! Well, Mary, that's just nature's way of telling you what a tramp you are.

The Fifth Solomon

 * [the Solomons are angry at Dick because he crashed the car]
 * Dick: Hey, be thankful I wasn't killed!
 * Sally: Yeah, because then we'd have to hitch a ride to your funeral, BECAUSE YOU WRECKED OUR FREAKIN' CAR!

 * Officer Don You have to have insurance!
 * Dick: Why? It's just a bet against myself! The only way I can win my money back is by getting horribly injured.

Dick And Tuck

 * [Looking at himself and a picture of himself and Harrison Ford]
 * Dick: Oh my god! I'm hideous!

Sex and the Sally

 * Harry: Sally, I'm starving. What's for dinner?
 * Sally: Oh, I made you some hamburgers--they're down at the hamburger place. All you have to do is go there, order them, and pay for them.

Charitable Dick

 * Harry:so what is this thing you're going to again?.
 * Dick: It's a charity auction.
 * Tommy:And what's charity again?.
 * Dick: All I know is they're giving free drinks and paddles with numbers on them.
 * Harry:Well I guess that's what charity's all about, getting liquored up and spanking your neighbor.

 * Dick: We can make little differences; we just can't make global differences.
 * Harry: Can we blow up the Earth?
 * Dick: You see, that's a global difference.
 * Harry: It's so hard to keep track of all this.

The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary

 * Dick: Why do these people get to have their life stories in the paper? What makes them so special?
 * Nina: Those are the obituaries.
 * Dick: Well, I want one about me!
 * Nina: Hopefully soon.

Gwen, Larry, Dick and Mary

 * Larry: I've never noticed it before, but you look capable of violence.
 * Dick: [picking up a chair] I'll show you who's capable of violence!

Rutherford Beauty

 * [Dick is fantasizing about Nina during his class's exam]
 * Leon: [sees Dick kissing an imaginary person] Dr. Solomon, what are you doing?
 * Dick: ...I said no talking, Leon. You fail!

 * [after Mary receives an exercise video as a present from Dick]
 * Mary: Here's a little "gift-giving" tip: When you give someone a bouquet of flowers, that tells them "Our love goes on forever.",when you give somebody an exercise video that tells them "Your ass goes on forever!"

Dick Strikes Out

 * Dick: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now Senior Security Officer.
 * Sally: That'll look good on the ol' résumé!
 * Dick: Tommy, you are now Senior Information Officer.
 * Tommy: It's about time!
 * [pause]
 * Harry: What about me?
 * Dick: Harry, you are now... Harold.
 * Harry: Champagne for everyone!

 * Mary: [referring to Dick] I wouldn't be caught dead going out with that scab.
 * Dick: Well, couldn't you put a band-aid over it?

Frankie Goes to Rutherford

 * [Dick has entered the office wearing a tight-fitting construction worker's outfit and a tool belt]
 * Dick: Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?
 * Nina: Not from your funky bakery. [winks]

The Big Giant Head Returns Again: Part 1

 * Vicki Dubcek: [about Harry's new girlfriend Janice] You don't like her as much as me, do you?
 * Harry: Oh, no!... More.

 * Dick: Are you going to kill me?
 * Big Giant Head: Of course not; you're my designated driver.

The Big Giant Head Returns Again: Part 2

 * Vicki Dubcek: How dare you use your flesh to trick me!
 * Harry: Well, that's what it's there for.

 * Dick: I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?
 * [after finding out his father was "the Big Head"]
 * Harry: Well, let me see, your first name is Dick... your new last name is Head... I guess that would make..
 * Dick: Oh My God!

Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

 * Strudwick: My daughter just ran off with your ragamuffin son!
 * Dick: "Ragamuffin"?! Sally, throw him out; Harry, bring me a dictionary.

Indickscretion

 * Tommy: [about a movie Harry has seen] How was it? I heard there was an awesome shower scene.
 * Harry: Oh, yeah...but then this naked girl got in and you could barely see the shower.

Dick Digs

 * Tourist: Excuse me, we've been driving around for hours. Do you know of any hotels that have rooms?
 * Harry: I believe that all hotels have rooms.

The Thing That Wouldn't Die: Part 2

 * Mary: [concerned] I think there's something wrong with Dick.
 * [Nina and Judith stare blankly at her]

Repeated quotes

 * Harry: Incoming message from The Big Giant Head...

Cast

 * John Lithgow as Dick Solomon
 * Kristen Johnson as Sally Solomon
 * French Stewart as Harry Solomon
 * Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tommy Solomon
 * Jane Curtin as Dr. Mary Albright
 * Simbi Khali as Nina Campbell (seasons 3-6, recurring previously)
 * Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Mamie Dubcek (seasons 3-6, recurring previously)
 * Wayne Knight as Officer Don Leslie Orville (seasons 3-6, recurring previously)

title: 3rd Rock from the Sun