text:
User talk:62.252.32.12

Crispin Glover
I have tagged your recently created article on Crispin Glover for speedy deletion, because it contains no quote content, but instead has a personal opinion. The main article space for Wikiquote is intended for quotations. Please start with Help:Contents for information on Wikiquote practices, and review What Wikiquote is not for a list of material that should not be included in quote articles. Thank you for your cooperation. — Jeff Q (talk) 14:44, 26 Apr 2005 (UTC)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: User talk:62.252.32.12


text:
Laisenia Qarase

Laisenia Qarase has been the Prime Minister of Fiji since 2000.

Miscellaneous quotes

 * "Fiji can make a similar report on the US on all those issues. Our report would be far worse than the US state department's report on Fiji." (2 March 2005, reacting to a US State Department report critical on the state of race relations in Fiji).

Speech to Muslims celebrating Mohammed's birthday, 25 April 2005

 * "My government's aim for Fiji is not to return to where we once were but to journey forward together to a place we have not yet been, a Fiji of lasting peace and harmony, where nobody is left behind or goes without".

Excerpts from a speech to the Association of Development Financing Institutions in Asia and the Pacific, 13 May 2005

 * "The shame is compounded by the failure of developed countries to commit enough of their wealth and resources to helping poor populations from developing countries."

 * "Good governance is also about rooting out corruption, which is a stain on the integrity of any nation".

Excerpts from a speech to the Christian Youth Conference in Suva, 15 May 2005

 * "Follow the teachings and you will not go wrong."

 * "Don't worry if some of your peers think that a strong commitment to Christianity is not very fashionable. You can be as fashionable as you want, while still believing in Jesus and giving witness to him".

== Summary of Qarase's remarks about the proposed establishment of a Reconciliation and Unity Commission, 5 May 2005 (excerpts from the Fijian government website) ==

 * "In 2000 Fiji experienced the greatest crisis in its contemporary history … Fiji came close to complete collapse and anarchy; some form of civil war was a real possibility. This would not only have pitted Fijians against Indians but Fijians against Fijians, and Province against Province. But the country did not fall. It stepped back from the brink. It drew on its inner strength and a vein of tolerance and restraint and began the task of remaking Fiji."

 * "Last year (October 2004), the nation celebrated a week of reconciliation and forgiveness, supported by all our main religions and numerous civic organizations and individuals from all our ethnic groups. Some of those who had suffered particular hurt in 2000, questioned the motives behind this and did not feel they could take part. Their views must be respected. They endured an ordeal which left deep wounds."

 * "Two distinct ethnic groups, with quite different cultures and religious beliefs, were … put together in the same islands. Colonial policy largely kept them apart and there was, therefore, little assimilation. This racial separation and segregation became a defining feature of our country. The two communities have co-existed, without finding a sense of unified nationhood."

 * "We cannot bring our people together, and give all energies to development, when the agony of 2000 lives on and haunts us through prosecutions and sentences. Five years have gone by and … there is no end in sight. I believe it is time now for fresh thinking and action."

 * "It is now time for us to bring a greater degree of closure to a tragic period of our history. We must not forget what happened in 2000, but we must turn our eyes more to the future."

 * "We have to recognise our cultural differences, but accept that they enrich our society. We also have to accept that all communities and citizens have contributed to the nation. We must understand that our homeland can only reach its full promise if we all continue to contribute, with fair and equitable benefits for all. Finally, we must recognize that for the accomplishment of full nationhood and unity, we have to give greater emphasis to our common interests".

Additional remarks about the proposed Reconciliation and Unity Commission

 * "Any Bill is drafted without consulting any party or stakeholders is because it contains what the Government wants to be included in the Bill." (20 May 2005, explaining why he had not consulted the Great Council of Chiefs on the legislation).

 * "We cannot bring the people together and concentrate all our energies on developing the country when the agony of 2000 is continuously haunting us." (27 May 2005, from a speech to the annual conference of his United Fiji Party).

 * "I emphasise again that people who participated in the 2000 uprising with criminal intent, as established by the police, will continue to be subject to the full force of the law. The Bill is not intended to provide relief to those who used the coup for their own gain or other criminal intent." (14 June 2005).

 * "The sections of the Bill dealing with amnesty were not plucked out of thin air. They have been taken from legislation adopted and successfully used elsewhere. The principles of amnesty are well known and accepted internationally. We have done the research on this." (14 June 2005).

 * "The foundation in which the Bill was introduced was for the Government to offer a political solution that was legally binding, because if the Government had not introduced the Unity Bill, the investigations will never end. Trial after trial and the list goes on. About 2500 people have been investigated. Those who turned up in Parliament was close to 20,000 people.  I mean, if 10,000 to 20,000 people are going to be investigated, God knows when it will end." (8 July 2005).

 * "We must learn to respect each other's views and to differ without anger or ill will." (14 July 2005).

 * "With a resounding yes I say we can reconcile and that it really is a matter of the heart." (27 July 2005).

Address to the nation at the National Day of Prayer in Fiji combined church service, Post Fiji Stadium, Suva, 15 May 2005

 * "We encircle the globe with a chain of love, faith and trust, knowing that He (God) is listening."

 * "Two thousand and five is our Year of Forgiveness in Fiji. Again, we are seeking God’s help in reconciliation and in making the country whole. Each of the great religions teaches forgiveness. That is a golden thread that links them."

 * "For Christians, the rules are clear. They are under order to forgive. We must follow those orders, no matter how difficult they appear. If we do not forgive, God will not forgive us. That is the beginning and the end of it."

 * "The forgiveness of Christ is complete, and without condition. It is not dependent on an apology, or tied to a punishment."

 * "Christianity took Ratu Cakobau and the Fijians from the way of the club, to the way of peace. Our islands were transformed forever".

Address to the Editors' Forum, Suva, 27 July 2005

 * "Opponents seem to think the end of the world is nigh and that law and order will grind to a complete halt. Their strategy is based on attack, attack, attack."

 * "I try to live by proper ethical and moral standards and carry out my national duties in accordance with the principles of the God I believe in".

Response to the decision of the Great Council of Chiefs to endorse the bill, 28 July 2005

 * "The decision (of the Great Council of Chiefs to endorse the bill) was made in the best interest of the country and a significant milestone in the process of consultation"..

Response to continuing opposition to the Reconciliation, Tolerance, and Unity Bill, 30 July 2005

 * "We are trying to establish a process beginning with problems arising from 2000. In the second part of the Bill we propose to establish a permanent national council for promotion of reconciliation, unity and tolerance and that to me is most important part of this Bill."

 * "I think it would be a pity if Chaudhry brushed aside majority Fijian opinion on a major issue. He has done this before and it will be a sad day for Fiji if he does that again this time."

 * "I think the overwhelming Fijian support for the Bill is saying we are offering a hand of reconciliation, a hand of forgiveness, a hand of friendship, a hand of repentance and unity. I were in Chaudhry's shoes I would grab the opportunity to try and establish dialogue through this Bill with the Fijian people to promote reconciliation and unity and I will do the same with Mr Beddoes as well. He has expressed his opposition to the Bill. This is a rare opportunity for them to help bridge the obvious gulf between our people".

Excerpt from speech at Life Skills workshop, Valelevu Grounds, 22 May 2005

 * "I believe many of our country's differences stem from the lack of genuine appreciation of the cultures and religious traditions and beliefs of our various communities".

Excerpt from speech to mark the week of Ratu Sukuna Day celebrations, 24 May 2005

 * "I believe that the chiefs of Fiji have relevance for all our citizens not just the Fijians, they still represent stability, order and continuity. If the chiefs were diminished, the entire nation would be weakened and be vulnerable"..

Excerpts from a parliamentary speech, 3 June 2005

 * "They (the indigenous Fijian people) believe they (their demands for political power) are just and reasonable, given our history, racial division, present-day majority of Fijians, their ownership of the land and their indigenous identity."

 * "In view of what has happened to other indigenous groups, the fear and insecurity of Fijians should be easy to understand".

Excerpts from an address to the Commonwealth Workshop in Nadi, 29 August 2005

 * "We will only overcome this (communal politics) when there is greater interracial trust, confidence and assimilation."

 * "It requires commitment, vision and will. Differences of ethnicity and multi-culturalism have to be managed and accommodated. It is a difficult balancing act, which must take account of the interests of all communities."

 * "We have to ensure that development is inclusive; that no particular group is disadvantaged or discriminated against."

 * "Affirmative Action is a temporary measure to correct these imbalances (between ethnic Fijians and Indo-Fijians)."

 * "We remain dedicated to accomplishing greater social justice through a fairer sharing of wealth and opportunity. We will stay the course, because it is right for Fiji."

 * "Reconciliation between our communities, following all the hurt and distress of 2000, is a critical part of the reconstruction of the country."

 * "The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, vesting every individual with equal rights, was directly opposed to the hierarchical social structure of indigenous Fijian society. Chiefs were at the apex by virtue of their birth and rank. The rest of the people had a communal functional role in this hierarchy".

Opening address to the Education Summit, Suva, 31 August 2005

 * "Their efforts and their sacrifices for education are immeasurable. They started their schools for their own children. Over the years, increasing numbers of Fijian and other students were taken in. Today, in a majority of their schools Fijian children predominate. There is a large debt of gratitude owed here that I am pleased to acknowledge." (Paying tribute to Indian and Chinese schools in Fiji).

 * "We all share the same vision for our children. It is one of the things that binds us together. Let this Summit give extra strength and purpose to the great cause of education".

Address to the annual conference of the Fiji Employers Federation, 2 September 2005

 * "Labour will try to convince you that it is sympathetic to business. Don’t believe such stories. The truth is that the party has a classic left-wing suspicion of business and the profit motive".

Address to the United Nations General Assembly, 17 September 2005 (excerpts)

 * "This age of globalisation is marked by the adoption of universal principles governing such matters as democracy, human rights, trade and development. Today, I reaffirm here that Fiji accepts these precepts.  But we also say that countries like ours should not be held to unrealistic standards, we need time to evolve to adapt and to adhere. Do not judge us by what might be inappropriate at our stage of development."

 * "For our country, it is vitally important, as a factor for long-standing stability, that we always maintain a careful balance between the rights of individuals and communities, the special interests of indigenous people, including their right of ownership to their natural resources must also be protected".

Address to the 18th Australia-Fiji Business Forum, Shangri-La Fijian Resort, Sydney, Australia, 17 October 2005 (excerpts)

 * "WTO (the World Trade Organization) is trying to impose equality of trade in an unequal world, but for developing countries like Fiji there is no level playing field, just a slippery slope."

 * "They forget that although our economy has been doing well, it is still narrow and fragile and it will take a long time before we can compete fully with the developed nations".

Letter to Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, 20 October 2005 (excerpts)

 * "I want to assure you, Prime Minister, that we in Fiji cherish the vital and valuable role, and the enormous contribution, which members of our Indian community have played, and are continuing to play in the development and progress of our country."

 * "As leaders of our respective countries, we are faced with the same challenge of forging greater unity and cohesiveness in our diverse societies, and I share your view that this requires leadership committed to the welfare and interests of all citizens and communities".

Parliamentary speech, 23 November 2005 (excerpts)

 * "Recently we heard that a prominent parliamentarian converted government assets to his personal use. Very soon, we will hear of some prominent politicians evading tax deliberately. Very soon we will hear of people abusing their travel entitlements. We extend zero-tolerance to these kind of people and some years ago, we know that the former Prime Minister converted government funds to improve his own personal standing by renovating and upgrading his personal house. The member for Labasa Open went on a fishing trip at government expense … This is fraud. I do not know want you want to call it, but it is fraud, using taxpayers' money for personal use".

Reaction to the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy, 7 February 2006
Prime Minister Qarase made the following remarks in response to the decision of Fiji's Daily Post newspaper to republish twelve cartoons that have offended many Muslims throughout the world.

 * "It has, understandably, aggrieved our Muslim community. Their religion and its founder have been insulted, and ridiculed." (Fiji Live).

 * "The Code (Fiji Media Council Code of Ethics) is quite clear in its guidelines on religion. Those guidelines have not been followed in this instance," Qarase said. (Pacific Magazine).

 * "While the Constitution guarantees press freedom, it must be used with sensitivity, respect and good judgement in a multi-cultural and multi-religious country such as ours," he said. (Pacific Magazine).

 * "Freedom carries obligations and responsibilities. This applies, in particular, to the news media. Our media have an obligation to exercise their responsibilities in a manner that reflects the social, cultural and religious values of our different communities. (Pacific Magazine).

 * "Let us respect each other and avoid causing unnecessary hurt to those with beliefs and faiths different from ours." (Pacific Magazine).

Interview, 16 June 2006

 * "This doctrine was not so much to do with sinlessness but with personal growth. It is about the attitude that should guide us in our relationships with others according to the commandment of loving your neighbor. I will just add that I am far from perfect in my faith. I often stumble and fall but I will never stop striving to serve God in the best way I can, to honor him and to serve the purpose for which he has called me. I know in my heart that what has transpired since the elections are part of God's plan for Fiji. He has given me a part to play in this and I cannot refuse it." (quoted in Fiji Village)

title: Laisenia Qarase


text:
Wikiquote talk:Policy

Among many our policy, why it aims to deletion policy exclusively7 This is not an accusation, but a plain question. --Aphaia 16:55, 26 Apr 2005 (UTC)
 * I don't understand it either and have been bold and changed this redirect to point to Policies and guidelines. jni 07:03, 27 Apr 2005 (UTC)

title: Wikiquote talk:Policy


text:
User talk:Chico

Hi,, welcome back to Wikiquote ;-) Here are some useful links:
 * Browse To browse the site.
 * Reference desk To ask some questions related to quotes.
 * Village pump To discuss with other editors.
 * Community Portal Other useful links.

Shortly be bold and enjoy!--Aphaia 16:56, 26 Apr 2005 (UTC)

Hi, Chico, thank you for your always interlang; I am working mainly on making interlang too, but now you are the most active interlang maker, I think ;-)
 * By the way, are you interest in adminship here on English Wikiquote? You are an longlife editor, active and care for maintenance. I think you could be a good candidate for sysopship. --Aphaia 00:40, 6 May 2005 (UTC)

 * debtor for the suggestion. But at the moment I cannot assume more tasks.  The administration of wikiquote.pt already has busy me.
 * --Chico 18:02, 6 May 2005 (UTC)

 * Thank you for your reply. I understand. Hope both our project will be well developed. ;-) --Aphaia 05:04, 7 May 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:Chico


text:
User talk:Liberlogos~enwikiquote

Hi,, welcome back to Wikiquote ;-) Here are some useful links:
 * Browse To browse the site.
 * Reference desk To ask some questions related to quotes.
 * Village pump To discuss with other editors.
 * Community Portal Other useful links.

Shortly be bold and enjoy!--Aphaia 17:39, 26 Apr 2005 (UTC)

Re: About my deletion request
''Hello there. I saw your edit removing my request for deletion on the Honoré Mercier article. Your comment is almost a compliment, so thanks. ;) On a more serious note, I guess you could say that you did your job well. I did suspect that it might look as if I was deleting someone else's article. ...so, I'll explain. My stupid mistake actually was that I simply saved the page (a first edit, to boot) without being logged in, which I have worked hard to never do. I simply wanted to recreate it afterwards while logged in. If you want harder proof, you can see the very same text still in my personal sandbox (edited by me before the creation of the Wikiquote article in question) at this address. So, could I get the chance to recreate it under my own identity, not an ip address? --Liberlogos 08:09, 6 September 2005 (UTC)''

 * I am sorry, but such a case does not appear in the Speedy deletion candidates, and if you're thinking of VfDing it, I doubt it'd be voted for deletion :) You are free to add a note on the talk page pointing to yourself. Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 08:25, 6 September 2005 (UTC)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Liberlogos. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Liberlogos~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:27, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:52, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Liberlogos~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Cmadler

--Aphaia 21:42, 26 Apr 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:Cmadler


text:
Talk:Armenian genocide

This seperate section is a great idea. I can see it comprising a list of a great many quotes before too long. Is there a provision for their organization - or do they just get listed? --THOTH 02:26, 27 Apr 2005 (UTC)

I removed these following two alleged quotes attributed to Ambassador Morganthau.

 * "...The domestic situation was deplorable: all over Turkey thousands of the populace were daily dying of starvation; practically all able-bodied men had been taken into the army, so that only a few were left to till the fields; the criminal requisitions had almost destroyed all business; the treasury was in a more exhausted state than normally, for the closing of the Dardanelles and the blockading of the Mediterranean ports had stopped all imports and customs dues..."
 * Henry Morganthau, U.S. Ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, Ambassador Morgenthau's Story

 * "...About a million families were left without breadwinners, all of them in a condition of extreme destitution. The Turkish Government paid its soldiers 25 cents a month, and gave the families a separation allowance of $1.20 a month. As a result thousands were dying from lack of food and many more were enfeebled by malnutrition; I believe that the empire has lost a quarter of its Turkish population since the war started."
 * Henry Morganthau, U.S. Ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, Ambassador Morgenthau's Story

First I could not find them in the text of his book - and secondly I don't think that they are directly concerning the Armenian Genocide - certainly there are more appropriate quotes from him. Lastly I expanded the first quote to put it in its proper context. --THOTH 21:51, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

I cleaned up the section by eliminating the irrelevant bit from Talaat Pasha which really has no place here and was just distracting. Also a comment was inserted claiming that the Armenian Genocide was hersay - which - if one reads the quotes here - should be clear that it is not. So I removed this (unsigned) comment as well. --THOTH 02:02, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

cleanup
I added the cleanup tag to this page because it has no clear organization, and I believe that oganization by the name of the author would probably be best in this case. It also has other formatting inconsistencies. I encourage the use of bolding for significant passages on pages, but I believe emphasized passages should generally be clear statements, and not merely a few words. Though I have long been aware of the historical events that are the subject here, it has not been a major focus of study for me, but recent vandalism has prompted me to pay more attention to this article, and some of the formatting problems. I have added some images, and I might do more work on it within the next week or so, and organize it by author, if no one has any better ideas. ~ Kalki 12:20, 27 December 2006 (UTC)

 * I have done the initial re-organization and cleanup on this page, and added images, and did a little sourcing and a few corrections. I have not cut down any of the longer quotes, but I think it would probably be a good idea on at least some of them. I am taking a break from this page for a while though and might not get back to it any time soon. ~ Kalki 16:53, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

 * In fact there was an organization - that by arranging alpabetically you totally messed up. I have no problem with bolding certain parts - but I really think you should put the quote back where they were and read through them and try to understand the story that they told and how. --68.98.189.145 06:47, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Re-examining things, I must restate the observations I had made a couple weeks before my cleanup edits — that there was no clear order based upon any standard of either author name or statement chronology at all, and if the arrangement was merely one in which someone aspired to "tell a story" by a non-random but non-standard selection of their order, and by the bolding of what was often merely a few words here and there, rather than full statements, the intended point of the "story" remains rather dubious and unclear, and created a massive compilation that had no obvious or easily searchable arrangement or order. As even many of the sourced statements were not clearly dated, and because there were often so many of them by the same author, arranging them by the name of the author seemed the simplest and best option available. Previously some reported remarks of Adolf Hitler were given top billing at the very start of the page, as if he were to be regarded as a primary authority and commentator on the Armenian genocide. Just because he might be the most famous of genocidal maniacs, and because he might have been inspired by the Turkish policies towards Armenians in his own policies towards Jews, Poles and others he considered inferior to a Germanic "master race" does not warrant giving exaggerated prominence to his comments on the matter. Beyond organizing the quotes alphabetically by author, rather than letting them remain arranged in a manner that might be decipherable only to the arranger, I also added extensive Wikipedia links to people with articles there, did some sourcing and correction to a few of the quotations, and added all of the images. ~ Kalki 08:06, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

Unsourced quotes
If you can provide a reliable and precise source for any of these quotes please move them to the project page — but not otherwise. --Antiquary 20:14, 7 January 2009 (UTC)

 * We and many others have accepted the United Nations definition of genocide and there can be no argument about [the Armenian case] being genocide.
 * Prof. Yehuda Bauer, academic director, Yad Vashem

 * The Armenian citizen has not forgiven the slaughter of his father in the Kurdish mountains. But he loves you, because you also won't forgive those who blackened the name of the Turkish people.
 * Nazım Hikmet, famous Turkish poet

 * I refer to those awful massacres. They are the greatest stain that has ever disgraced our nation and race. They were entirely the work of TalatTalat and Enver. I heard some days before they began that they were intended. I went to Istanbul and insisted on seeing Enver. I asked him if it was true that they intended to recommence the massacres that had been our shame and disgrace under Abdul Hamid. The only reply I could get from him was: 'It is decided.It is the program.'
 * Prince Abdul Mecid, the heir apparent to the Ottoman Sultanate, and last Caliph.

 * When the Turkish authorities gave the orders for these deportations, they were merely giving the death warrant to a whole race; they understood this well, and, in their conversations with me, they made no particular attempt to conceal the fact. ... I am confident that the whole history of the human race contains no such horrible episode as this. The great massacres and persecutions of the past seem almost insignificant when compared to the sufferings of the Armenian race in 1915.
 * Henry Morgenthau, U.S. Ambassador to the Ottoman Empire

 * There isn't an Armenian Question anymore, as there are no Armenians in the Ottoman Empire.
 * Mehmed Talat Pasha, Minister of the Interior, Otoman Empire, as reported by Ambassador Morganthau

 * It is unlawful to designate the Armenian assets as "abandoned goods" for the Armenians, the proprietors, did not abandon their properties voluntarily; they were forcibly, compulsively removed from their domiciles and exiled. Now the government through its efforts is selling their goods... Nobody can sell my property if I am unwilling to sell it... If we are a constitutional regime functioning in accordance with constitutional law we can't do this. This is atrocious. Grab my arm, eject me from my village, then sell my goods and properties, such a thing can never be permissible. Neither the conscience of the Ottomans nor the law can allow it.
 * Ottoman Senator Ahmed Riza, before the Ottoman Parliment in 1915

 * In one way or another, the Central Government enforced and controlled the execution of the scheme, as it alone had originated the conception of it; and the Young Turkish Ministers and their associates at Constantinople are directly and personally responsible, from beginning to end, for the gigantic crime that devastated the Near East in 1915.
 * Arnold Toynbee, Historian

Probably fabricated interview
I'm referring to:

 * These left-overs from the former Young Turk Party, who should have been made to account for the millions of our Christian subjects who were ruthlessly driven en masse from their homes and massacred, have been restive under the Republican rule.
 * Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, in an interview published in The Los Angeles Examiner (1 August 1926

Which is probably fabricated, according to the analysis in this site: http://archive.is/emTb9

"Holdwater, again: Regarding The Los Angeles Herald Examiner article... I couldn't find the professor's booklet on the Internet, except in Turkish; let me give the gist of it (as far as I can grasp): "I haven't encountered Atatürk's having spoken with such a reporter on June 22, 1926." (The date the article claimed the interview took place, and not the August 1, 1926 publication date.) It appears the professor looked into Atatürk's schedule and found several activities that occupied the Turkish leader, but there was nothing on being interviewed by a Swiss reporter. The closest thing to newspaper-related business was on June 17th.

The Professor apparently has researched interviews? Atatürk conducted with many different publications, such as The Christian Science Monitor, Le Matin, The Chicago Tribune, Le Figaro and The New York Herald, but nothing on this. In his talks, Ataturk made reference to Harbourd, Ellison, Herriot, MacArthur, Antonescu, Pernot and others, but nothing on Emile Hilderbrand. No pictures with him, either, although there are plenty with the others. The professor also checked the relevant "Who's Who" types of reference books from the period in Switzerland, in different categories, but there was no mention of Emile Hilderbrand.

Before making his paper public, the professor contacted Switzerland's relevant sources and explored all conceivable options without getting a clue as to who the writer in question could have been. He consulted a friend who was part of the diplomatic mission to Switzerland for twelve years, having a good idea on Turkish-Swiss matters, but this turned into a dead-end, as well.

Holdwater ran a comprehensive Internet search on Emile Hilderbrand, and the only sources that came up were related to the Atatürk interview. Professor Ataöv gives an example of a real interview with Atatürk, from the March 27, 1921 issue of Pennsylvania's The Public Ledger, conducted by Clarence Streit. (From another of his papers, entitled, "A 'Statement' Wrongly Attributed to Mustafa Kemal Atatürk.") Here, Atatürk focuses on the "conspiratorial nature of Armenian armed attacks, the bloodshed and massacre caused by them, endorsed by General Harbord as well." [Read More]

A far cry from what was said in the article in question, which had a smaller subtitle, " The Dictator of Turkey, in an interview with Emile Hilderbrand, a Swiss artist and journalist, on June 22." The "genocide" quote is: "These left-overs from the former Young Turkey Party, who should have been made to account for the lives of millions of our Christian subjects who were ruthlessly driven en masse, from their homes and massacred, have been restive under the Republican rule. They have hitherto lived on plunder, robbery and bribery and become inimical to any idea or suggestion to enlist in useful labor and earn their living by the honest sweat of their brow."

The definitive biographies on Ataturk (by Kinross and Mango) have ignored this sensational Hilderbrand interview, which provides supplementary evidence that it most likely never took place... and was built on the general anti-Turkish propaganda effort. In addition, the bombastic style sounds out of character. Ataturk was a very polite man who referred even to his enemies with reverence, and would not have referred to his compatriots in the manner he was quoted in the spurious interview." AnKo96X (talk) 09:50, 22 May 2018 (UTC)

title: Talk:Armenian genocide


text:
Scooby-Doo

Scooby-Doo is an American animated kids' television series featuring 4 teens: Fred, Daphne, Velma, and Shaggy and their talking brown dog named Scooby-Doo.

Television

 * Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! (1969-1970) - the original series airing on CBS.
 * The New Scooby-Doo Movies (1972-1973) - the hour-long version, also airing on CBS.
 * The Scooby Doo Show (1976-1978)
 * Scooby and Scrappy-Doo (1979-1980)
 * What's New, Scooby Doo? (2002-2006)
 * Shaggy and Scooby Doo Get a Clue (2006-2008)
 * Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated (2010-2013)
 * Be Cool, Scooby-Doo! (2015-2018)
 * Scooby-Doo and Guess Who? (2019-2021)
 * Velma (2023-present)

Films

 * Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (1988)
 * Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988)
 * Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998)
 * Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (1999)
 * Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders (2000)
 * Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase (2001)
 * Scooby-Doo (2002)
 * Scooby-Doo! and the Legend of the Vampire (2002)
 * Scooby-Doo! and the Monster of Mexico (2003)
 * Scooby-Doo! and the Loch Ness Monster (2003)
 * Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)
 * Aloha, Scooby-Doo! (2004)
 * Scooby-Doo! in Where's My Mummy? (2005)
 * Scooby-Doo! Pirates Ahoy! (2006)
 * Chill Out, Scooby-Doo! (2007)
 * Scooby-Doo! and the Goblin King (2008)
 * Scooby-Doo! and the Samurai Sword (2008)
 * Scooby-Doo! Abracadabra Doo (2009)
 * Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare (2010)
 * Scooby-Doo! Legend of the Phantosaur (2011)
 * Scooby-Doo! Music of the Vampire (2012)
 * Big Top, Scooby-Doo! (2012)
 * Scooby-Doo! Adventures: The Mystery Map (2013)
 * Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright (2013)
 * Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery (2013)
 * Scooby-Doo! Frankencreepy (2014)
 * Scooby-Doo! Moon Monster Madness (2014)
 * Scooby-Doo! and Kiss: Rock and Roll Mystery (2015)
 * Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon (2016)
 * Lego Scooby-Doo! Blowout Beach Bash (2017)
 * Scooby-Doo! and the Gourmet Ghost (2018)
 * Scooby-Doo! and the Curse of the 13th Ghost (2019)
 * Scooby-Doo! Return to Zombie Island (2019)
 * Scoob! (2020)
 * Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo! (2020)
 * Scooby-Doo! The Sword and the Scoob (2021)
 * Straight Outta Nowhere: Scooby-Doo! Meets Courage the Cowardly Dog (2021)
 * Trick or Treat Scooby-Doo! (2022)
 * Scooby-Doo! and Krypto, Too! (2023)

title: Scooby-Doo


text:
Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice is a 1988 horror comedy film about two recently-deceased ghosts who enlist the help of a "bio-exorcist", Beetlejuice, to help remove a new family from their old house.
 * Directed by Tim Burton. Written by Michael McDowell, Warren Skaaren. Story by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson.

In This House... If You've Seen One Ghost... You Haven't Seen Them All. taglines

Betelgeuse/"Beetlejuice"

 * [reading obituary] Ooh-la-la, what have we got here? The Maitlands. [laughs] Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too! [more laughing]
 * Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.
 * Hey, these aren't my rules! Come to think of it, I don't have any rules!
 * I'm the ghost with the most, babe.
 * YOU BUNCHA LOSERS!!! YOU'RE WORKIN' WITH A PROFESSIONAL HERE!!! (kicks over a tree; quietly observes it for a moment) NICE FUCKIN’ MODEL!!!! (grabs his crotch and squeezes it twice with a bike horn sound)
 * Attention, K-Mart shoppers!
 * Thank you. Thank you. That, is why I won't do two shows a night anymore babe, I won't.
 * Well... what do we got here tonight, kids? [Sees the Maitlands] Oooo, well, we got the, uh, Maitlands. Uh, I think, uh, they've had enough "exorcise" for tonight. [Mimes a golf swing and the Maitlands fall onto the floor]
 * [To Otho] Not so fast, round boy. We're gonna have some laughs! [Kisses Otho on the cheek and laughs]
 * We come for your daughter, Chuck.
 * Nobody says the "B" word.
 * It's showtime!
 * [calmly] Ah, well, I attended Juilliard, I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School, I travel quite extensively, I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that, [getting aggressively more demented] I've seen The Exorcist about 167 TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTIN' FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKIN' TO A DEAD GUY! NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?! [calmly] You think I'm qualified?
 * [After his head spins] Don't you hate it when that happens?
 * I'll eat anything you want me to eat, I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow, so come on down and I'll... chew on a dog! (howls)
 * [talking to a witch doctor] Did you do that? Very good work. Let me ask you, how do you get them down so small? Hey look, there goes Elvis. Yo, King! [witch doctor looks away, Beetlejuice switches his ticket with witch doctor's] Well, guess I'm next. I have an appointment with GQ in half an hour. They have been trying to get me for weeks. Some underwear thing or something. [annoyed with having his ticket being switched, witch doctor sprinkles shrinking powder on Beetlejuice] Hey, what are you doing? Hey, stop it! Hey! You're messing up my hair! Come on! [Beetlejuice's head gets smaller and voice becomes increasing higher] Whoa, whoa, stop it, WHOA! [Beetlejuice is now with a tiny head and voice that is two octaves higher than before] Hey, this might be a good look for me!

Lydia Deetz

 * [About her stepmother, Delia] She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.
 * My whole life is a darkroom. [Slowly, for effect] One. Big. Dark. Room.
 * I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that's in this food.
 * [realizing that Adam and Barbara are ghosts] The funeral. God. You guys really are dead.

Delia Deetz

 * [To Charles] I'm here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will GO INSANE AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!!!

Otho Fenlock

 * [about Beryl] Don't mind her. She's still upset because someone dropped a house on her sister.

Adam Maitland

 * We're ghosts!

Barbara Maitland

 * Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

Dialogue

 * Adam: Barbara, I don't think we survived that crash.

 * Delia: I can't believe we're eating Cantonese. Is there no Szechuan up here?
 * Lydia: I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that's in this food.
 * Delia: This is our first meal in this house, so why don't we all do our little private parts to make it a pleasant one?
 * Charles: Don't bait your mother, Pumpkin. As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a darkroom in the basement.
 * Lydia: My whole life is a darkroom. One. Big. Dark. Room.
 * Delia: So you were miserable in New York City, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved.

 * Lydia: [On the new house] Delia hates it. [sees a huge spider on a web] I could live here.

 * Charles: Pumpkin, sweetheart... [kisses her and forces her out his study room] Go help your mother.
 * Lydia: Maybe you can relax in a haunted house, but I can't.

 * Juno: What's wrong?
 * Barbara: We're very unhappy.
 * Juno: What did you expect? You're dead.

 * Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?
 * Adam: We're ghosts!
 * Lydia: What do you look like under there?
 * Adam: Aren't you scared?
 * Lydia: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?
 * Adam: Night of the what?
 * Lydia: Living Dead. It's a movie.
 * Barbara: You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.
 * Adam: You can see us without the sheets?
 * Lydia: Of course I can see you.
 * Adam: Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?
 * Lydia: Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am strange and unusual.
 * Barbara: You look like a regular girl to me.
 * Adam: You've read our book?
 * Lydia: Yeah.
 * Adam: You can follow it?
 * Lydia: Yeah. Why were you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom?
 * Adam: We were trying to scare your mother.
 * Lydia: Stepmother. Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.

 * Adam: For instance, uh, what are your qualifications?
 * Beetlejuice: [refined voice] Ah, well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. [getting progressively more demented] I've seen The Exorcist about 167 TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTIN' FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKIN’ TO A DEAD GUY! [screams] NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?! [quietly] You think I'm qualified?
 * Adam: Uh, what I meant is, can you be scary?
 * Beetlejuice: Oh! I didn't know what you were askin' me. Can I be scary? [does a jerk-off gesture] What do ya think of this?
 * (shows a hideous face to the Maitlands that only shows several tentacles from the sides to audience; both Adam and Barbara scream)
 * Beetlejuice: [back to normal] You like it?

 * Dumb Football Player #1: Coach? Coach, where's the men's room?
 * Juno: I'm not your coach! He survived.
 * Dumb Football Player #2: Wait, Coach. Let me get something straight. What's our curfew around here?
 * Juno: Will you get outta here?!? Go on, get downstairs! "Men's room" - are you kidding? Can't you read signs?
 * [they come back into the office later]
 * Dumbest Football Player: Coach?
 * Juno: What?
 * Dumbest Football Player: I don't think we survived that crash.
 * Juno: How did you guess?

 * Lydia: They don't wanna come down.
 * Delia: Charles...
 * Otho: Why not?
 * Lydia: I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.
 * Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.

 * Lydia: Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you?
 * Beetlejuice: [laying on a lounge chair on the balcony of Dante’s Inferno] Dead. Dead, dead, deadski.
 * Lydia: Of course they're dead. They're ghosts.
 * Beetlejuice: No, I mean they're gone, split, outta here, afterlife kids, deceased-ahh.
 * Lydia: Are you a ghost too?
 * Beetlejuice: I'm a ghost with the most, babe. [Gets up from his lounge chair] Y'know, you look like somebody I can relate to. Maybe you could help me get outta here, y'know, 'cause I gotta tell ya: this dead thing is- [Picks up and eats a beetle from the ground] -it's just too creepy. See, here's my problem; I got these friends on the outside I said I'd meet, y'know, and but it's the kind of thing I have to be there in person, y'know, so I was just wondering could you help me get outta here?
 * Lydia: [Sighing sadly] I wanna get in.
 * Beetlejuice: [Genuinely confused] Why?... Y'know, hey, you probably got your reasons. I can't do anything from here. If you could get me out, then maybe we could talk or somethin'.

About Beetlejuice

 * I wanted him to be pure electricity, that's why the hair just sticks out. At my house I started creating a walk and a voice. I got some teeth. I wanted to be scary in the look and then use the voice to add a dash of goofiness that, in a way, would make it even scarier. I wanted something kind of moldy to it, too. Tim had the striped-suit idea and we added the big eyes. I think that movie will go forever because it's 100% original.
 * Michael Keaton "Michael Keaton's dark memories of 'Batman' and shining love for 'Beetlejuice'", LA Times, May 12, 2011.

Taglines

 * In This House... If You've Seen One Ghost... You Haven't Seen Them All.
 * He's guaranteed to put some life, in your afterlife.
 * Say it once... Say it twice... But we dare you to say it THREE TIMES!
 * The name in laughter from the hereafter.

Cast

 * Michael Keaton — Betelgeuse
 * Alec Baldwin — Adam Maitland
 * Geena Davis — Barbara Maitland
 * Winona Ryder — Lydia Deetz
 * Catherine O'Hara — Delia Deetz
 * Jeffrey Jones — Charles Deetz
 * Glenn Shadix — Otho
 * Sylvia Sidney — Juno
 * Dick Cavett — Bernard
 * Robert Goulet - Maxie Dean
 * Annie McEnroe - Jane Butterfield

title: Beetlejuice


text:
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

 * Seasons: 1 2 3 | Main

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius is a show that ran on Nickelodeon from 2002–2006. The show follows the life of genius kid Jimmy Neutron and his friends and family. It is also based on the 2001 CGI film Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.

Seasons

 * Season 1
 * Season 2
 * Season 3

Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Trilogy

 * The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Specials


text:
Chiropractic

 * "Intelligence is present everywhere in our bodies...our own innate intelligence is far superior to any we can try to substitute from the outside."
 * Deepak Chopra

 * Get knowledge of the spine, for this is the requisite for many diseases."
 * Hippocrates

 * "Chiropractic, which focuses on manipulating the spine to ease back pain and improve overall health, has won wider acceptance over the years. Most health insurance plans now cover it. But in the 110 years since the profession was created, the established medical community largely has boycotted it — challenging its scientific validity in courts and legislative bodies."
 * (Washington Times)

 * "Just as soon as the colored boys found out that a science had been developed for manipulating the bones they all wanted to take it up."
 * Doctors and Specialists, Morris Fishbein, M.D., Editor of the Journal of the American Medical Association and of Hygeia, the Health Magazine; Bobbs-Merrill Company, Publishers, Indianapolis, IN. pp 114-115

 * "A chiropractor is a health care professional focused on the determination and therapy of neuromuscular problems, with an emphasis on therapy through manual adjustment and/or manipulation of the spine."
 * Upper cervical chiropractic care from Dr. Brian Pokorski, DC, DCCJP in Buffalo, New York.
 * (Upper Cervical Care)

title: Chiropractic


text:
Talk:Chiropractic

I brought over a list of quotations from Chiropractic medicine. They clearly didn't belong in the article, and I thought they might be better-suited here. I am not very familiar with Wikiquote's policies; please remove or add quotations as you see fit. Or delete this article if it is not appropriate. Thank! Knowledge Seeker 05:17, 27 Apr 2005 (UTC)

Vote for deletion notice
— Jeff Q (talk) 11:16, 13 May 2005 (UTC)

IT'S NOT "MEDICINE": Protocols, Procedures, Manipulations, etc: Do NOT call it "Medicine".

Geeze! WTH are the Chiropractors? (66.235.9.26 04:14, 21 June 2010 (UTC))

title: Talk:Chiropractic


text:
Isabel Paterson

Isabel Paterson (22 January 1886 – 10 January 1961) was a best-selling writer, influential literary critic, and libertarian philosopher.

The God of the Machine (1943)

 * What the past shows, by overwhelming evidence, is that the imponderables outweigh every material article in the scales of human endeavor.
 * p. 13

 * In human affairs, all that endures is what men think.
 * p. 15

 * An army is a diversion of energy from the productive life of a nation.
 * p. 30

 * Money is indispensable to a long-circuit heavy load energy system. It must be used when a sufficient surplus is being produced to allow a margin for exchange, and cost of transport, over a considerable distance. Money represents a storage battery when idle, and a generalized mode of the conversion of energy when it is in motion, with a function of equating time and space.
 * p. 32

 * More and more of the flow was diverted from production into the political mechanism. Whatever elements in motion compose a stream of energy, enough must go through to complete the circuit and renew production. Water running in an aqueduct to turn a millwheel is a stream of energy; or electricity going through insulated wires; or goods in process from raw materials to finished product and conveyed by a system of transport. If the water channel is pierced with many small openings en route; or electricity taken off by more and more outlets; or the goods expropiated piecemeal at each stage of the process, finally not enough will go through for maintenance of the system. In the energy system comprised in an exchange of goods, the producers and processors have to get back enough to enable them to keep on producing and working up the raw materials and to provide transport...
 * p. 39

 * These are not sentimental considerations; they constitute the mechanism of production and therefore of power. Personal liberty is the pre-condition of the release of energy. Private property is the inductor which initiates the flow. Real money is the transmission line; and the payment of debts comprises half the circuit. An empire is merely a long circuit energy-system. The possibility of a short circuit, ensuing leakage and breakdown or explosion, occurs in the hook-up of political organization to the productive processes. This is not a figure of speech or analogy, but a specific physical description of what happens.
 * p. 62

 * Men are born free, that since they begin with no government, they must therefore institute government by voluntary agreement, and thus government must be their agent, not their superior. Since volition is a function of the individual, the individual has the precedent right. Then even if it was presumed that government did equate roughly with the moral shorcomings of humanity, it should still be limited and subsidiary. If everyone were invariably honest, able, wise, and kind, there should be no occasion for government. Everyone would readily understand what is desirable and what is possible in given circumstances, all would concur upon the best means toward their purpose and for equitable participation in the ensuing benefits, and would act without compulsion or default. The maximum production was certainly obtained from such voluntary action arising from personal initiative. But since human beings will sometimes lie, shirk, break promises, fail to improve their faculties, act imprudently, seize by violence the goods of others, and even kill one another in anger or greed, the government might be defined as the police organization. In that case, it must be described as a necessary evil. It would have no existence as a separate entity, and no intrinsic authority; it could not be justly empowered to act excepting as individuals infringed one another's rights, when it should enforce prescribed penalties. Generally, it would stand in the relation of a witness to contract, holding a forfeit for the parties. As such, the least practicable measure of government must be the best. Anything beyond the minimum must be oppression.
 * p. 69

 * When the word leader, or leadership, returns to current use, it connotes a relapse into barbarism. For a civilized people, it is the most ominous word in any language.
 * p. 80

 * Whether it does any good or not, a law enforced must hurt someone.
 * p. 92

 * The only way to prevent prostitution altogether would be to imprison one half of the human race.
 * p. 93

 * But in reason if one man has no right to command all other men--the expedient of despotism--neither has he any right to command even one other man; nor yet have ten men, or a million, the right to command even one other man, for ten times nothing is nothing, and a million times nothing is nothing.
 * p. 122

 * The humanitarian in theory is the terrorist in action.
 * p. 242

 * The philanthropist, the politician, and the pimp are inevitably found in alliance because they have the same motives, they seek the same ends, to exist for, through, and by others.
 * p. 250

 * But when the good people do know, as they certainly do, that three million persons (at the least estimate) were starved to death in one year by the methods they approve, why do they still fraternize with the murderers and support the measures? Because they have been told that the lingering death of the three millions might ultimately benefit a greater number. The argument applies equally well to cannibalism.
 * p. 250, emphasis in the original

 * There can be no greater stretch of arbitrary power than is required to seize children from their parents, teach them whatever the authorities decree they shall be taught, and expropriate from the parents the funds to pay for the procedure.
 * p. 255

 * A tax-supported, compulsory educational system is the complete model of the totalitarian state.
 * p. 258

 * Whoever is fortunate enough to be an American citizen came into the greatest inheritance man has ever enjoyed. He has had the benefit of every heroic and intellectual effort men have made for many thousands of years, realized at last. If Americans should now turn back, submit again to slavery, it would be a betrayal so base the human race might better perish.
 * p. 292

title: Isabel Paterson


text:
User talk:Knowledge Seeker

Hi,, welcome back to Wikiquote ;-) Here are some useful links:
 * Browse To browse the site.
 * Reference desk To ask some questions related to quotes.
 * Village pump To discuss with other editors.
 * Community Portal Other useful links.

Shortly be bold and enjoy!--Aphaia 12:25, 27 Apr 2005 (UTC)

As for transwiki, please follow tranwiki scheme: put your article from other projects on Transwiki log, not directly on main namespace. Thank you! --Aphaia 12:33, 27 Apr 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:Knowledge Seeker


text:
The Kids in the Hall

The Kids in the Hall is a Canadian sketch comedy group, consisting of comedians Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney and Scott Thompson that formed in 1984. The troupe starred in a television show produced by Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels that ran on Canadian and American television from 1989-1994, produced and starred in the film Brain Candy in 1996, and reunited for tours in 2000, 2002 and 2008. In 2010, the troupe produced an eight-part miniseries, Death Comes To Town, airing first in Canada and then in the United States.

= The Kids in the Hall =

The Head Crusher

 * Mr. Tyzik: I'm crushing your head. I'm crushing your head!

Cause of Cancer

 * Bruce McCullough: I'm sorry I caused all that throat cancer and all that bowel cancer. I was just on a roll.
 * Dave Foley: And?
 * Bruce McCullough: And I won't do it again.

The Gun Fighter

 * Dave Foley: I once shot a man just to watch him die, then I got distracted and missed it. Oh my friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

The Real Buddy Holly

 * Buddy Holly (Kevin McDonald): I’m fuckin’ Buddy Holly! That’s who I am!

Dr. Seuss Bible

 * Jesus (Scott Thompson): Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do, for they walk through this life in toe-crampity shoes. (http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/one/drseuss.html)

The Pit of Ultimate Darkness

 * Sir Simon Milligan (Kevin McDonald): Now, for those of you with a brave heart and for those of you who have stayed, look into my face and know, to look into my face is to look into the face..of EVIL!

Darill's Blind Date

 * Darill: (to date) You look alarmed! Is it because you find something alarming?

Daddy Drank

 * "Daddy" (Dave Foley): All right now, son, I want you to get a good night's rest. And remember, I could murder you while you sleep. It's easy, son, all you have to do is be quiet and willing to do it. And son, I am willing to do it. And, I've got quiet shoes. Good night, son. Sleep well.

Tuck It In

 * Bruce McCulloch: Now I'm more confused than a horny bisexual at an orgy!

Losing My Religion

 * Dave Foley: Well, fine, if you want to quit, you can, but I can't! You see, I didn't ask to be a prophet. Nope, you see one day I just heard a voice say, "Hey, Ted! Ted! No, over here, Ted!" And I turned and I saw the very bright lights. And I said, "Hi," and God said. "Hi," and I said, "So you're God huh?" and God said, "Yup, how you doin', Ted?" and I said, "Okay, how 'bout you lord?" "Pretty good what's new Ted?" I said, "Oh, nothing much, what's new with you?" And he said, "Well, you know, same old, same old. Well I guess I'd better be running along, you must be busy." And I said, "No, God, I'm not doing anything." And God said, "Well, I better be running anyway." and I said, "Wait, God, is there anything you'd like me to tell the people?" And God said unto me, "Just tell 'em I said, 'Hi.'"

Communist Threat

 * Dave Foley: So when people say to me let sleeping dogs lie, I say to them, friend, sleeping dogs...they eventually wake up...and chew out the throat of democracy!

Post Credits

 * Bellini: Thank God that's finally over.

The Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996)

 * German Patient: The nipples of Mother Hope have run dry.
 * Cisco (Bruce McCullough): Soak it up you ugly sponge.
 * Raymond Hurdicure (Dave Foley): Sorry we're late Ma, but you know how the kids hate old people.
 * Grivo: I wanna talk about drugs. Audience: Heroin? Grivo: No. Not heroin. Audience: Speed? Grivo: No.  Not speed. Audience: Hashish? Grivo: No, not even hashish. Audience: (beat) Horse tranquilizers? Grivo: No.  Not horse tranquilizers.  I just heard about a drug that makes you happy.  I just want to say... (looks at the crowd) ...fuck happy!
 * Scientist: It was only a couple of Flipper babies!
 * Cab driver: When I was a little boy, my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
 * Wally: Tell me, doc... why do those... types, think I'm one of them? Therapist: Because... you are one of them. You are gay. You-you-you are gay, you are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you're gay.  I know it, your family knows it.  Dogs know it! Everybody knows it but you!
 * Don: You know, those words hurt. But you must realize they come from a man who's gone mad with depression. Unfortunately, it seems to happen to some of our greatest geniuses. People like Oppenheimer, Schweitzer, Boxcar Willie...
 * Raymond Hurdicure (Dave Foley): So I hear Dad's dead, hey is that eggnog?
 * Chris: Cat on my head!
 * Drill sergeant: YOU... ARE... SCUM! Do you hear me soldier? Wally: Yes, sir! Drill sergeant: Do you know what we are going to be doing today? Wally: No, sir! Drill sergeant: We are going to be doing push-ups all day, you and me, all day! [Wally smiles] Do you think that's funny, soldier? Wally: No, sir! Drill sergeant: Well, just for that, you are going to be doing those push-ups with me lying on your back! You are going to discover muscles, you never knew you had! BIG... muscles, HARD... muscles! Wally: Oh, yesss, sir!

title: The Kids in the Hall


text:
The Ren & Stimpy Show

The Ren & Stimpy Show is an American animated television series created by John Kricfalusi for Nickelodeon. The series follows the adventures of titular characters Ren, an emotionally unstable chihuahua, and Stimpy, a good-natured, dimwitted cat.

Stimpy's Big Day

 * [Open to a shot of the living room of Ren and Stimpy's mobile home. Stimpy is sitting in his litterbox, happily watching TV. His eyes bug in and out after a cartoon sound effect plays in the show he's watching. Ren appears next to him with his hands on his hips and looking angry]
 * Ren: Look at you, man! [He hits the palm of his hand with his other hand] You're a full-grown cat still watching cartoons! Why, you're three years old! Do you know what that is in human years? [Stimpy bows his head in shame. Ren looks guilty, then grabs the top of Stimpy's head and raises his face up] Oh, listen to me, man. I'm your friend. [He pulls the top of Stimpy's head off, exposing Stimpy's tiny brain on a silver pedestal] Don't you know cartoons will ruin your mind? [He picks up Stimpy's brain with his thumb and forefinger. The pedestal sinks down] Look what it's done to your brain!
 * [Ren drops the brain back into Stimpy's head and water splashes out when it lands. Ren pulls Stimpy's nose down like a handle and the sound of a toilet flushing is heard. He puts the top of Stimpy's head back, which shakes back and forth as the flushing continues. It finally stops and Ren jiggles Stimpy's nose to make sure. On the TV screen, a spotlight on a curtained stage is shown and theme music begins to play. Stimpy excitedly grabs Ren by the neck and lifts him up]
 * Stimpy: EEEEEEEE!!! [He looks at Ren and puts a finger to his lips] Shh!

The Big Shot!

 * Muddy Mudskipper: (chasing Stimpy) Get yer hand outta dat pic-a-nic basket, you dusty old cat! Pssst, hey kid, say yer line! Stimpy: O-oh yeah! Jaaaane, stop this crazy thing! Well, blow me down! I'm huntin' for a wabbit! I hate meeces to pieces!

 * Muddy Mudskipper: Hey kid, you did all right! [He gives Stimpy an "O.K" hand gesture] Ya lousy bum. [Stimpy sits on a stool looking depressed] Well, what's the matter? [Stimpy whimpers] Hey kid, I don't get it. You got it made! You got forty-seven million dollars. You got my TV contract. What more could you possibly want?
 * Stimpy: I WANT REN!!!! [cries]

Nurse Stimpy

 * [The scene fades to a shot of Ren in bed smiling with a thermometer in his mouth. Stimpy walks up holding a tray with breakfast and a newspaper]
 * Stimpy: My, you're looking chipper this morning! [He sets the tray down on Ren's lap] Look, I brought you your breakfast in bed!
 * Ren: [touched] I don't deserve you. [He picks up the coffee cup] Mmm, my coffee.
 * Stimpy: [taking the cup] Ah ah ah! [He takes the thermometer out of Ren's mouth and uses it to stir the coffee before handing the cup back to him] I brought you your paper too! I know how you like to read your paper at breakfast. [He holds up the newspaper and gives it to Ren]
 * Ren: God bless you, Stimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time mean to you.

Stimpy's Invention

 * [Ren is trying out Stimpy's Stay-Put Socks]
 * Ren: Why, it's amazing! How do they work?
 * Stimpy: They're full of glue. [glue oozes out of the top of the socks; Ren starts to lose it] I'm so glad you like them, Ren! Wait here. I'll get the Stay-Put hat and raincoat.
 * Ren: You filthy swine! I will kill you!

 * [after the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song]
 * Stimpy: Ren. You're... you're angry?
 * Ren: YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN' I'M ANGRY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS ANGRY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! [suddenly happy] Hey! I feel great! I love being angry! Thank you, Stimpy.
 * Stimpy: [confused] Happy to be of service?
 * [Ren stares at Stimpy with a wild look in his eye, while his laughter echoes across the room]

Ren's Toothache

 * Ren: What are you doing, man?
 * Stimpy: Duhh, I'm brushing my teeth, Ren.
 * Ren: Boy, what a waste of time.
 * Stimpy: You'll be sorry when all your teeth fall out. [smiles]
 * Ren: Aw, you're talking kid's stuff. Crazy stuff! I've never brushed before, and I'm not about to start now.
 * Stimpy: Well maybe you should, Ren... if you wanna have a nice smile like mine.
 * [smiles. Stimpy's teeth was so clean and dry.]
 * Ren: Ah, big deal. I'll show you a smile.
 * [He pushes off Stimpy. Ren smiles. Ren's teeth was so dirty and rotten. The mirror breaks. Ren feels sad. Fades to Ren sleeping on the bed. Ren looks at his teeth. Ren gets a toothache. He groans.]
 * Ren: Stimpy, my tooth. It hurts! Why, Stimpy, why?!
 * Stimpy: There, there now. I know it hurts.
 * Ren: Why does it hurt?

 * Stimpy: Did I ever tell you the story about the Tooth Beaver, Ren?
 * Ren: Tell me a story!
 * Stimpy: Well, you see Ren, inside every mouth there are teeth. And whenever there's teeth, you'll find the Tooth Beaver. And where you find the Tooth Beaver. you'll find a NERVE ending. [Tooth Beaver bites the Nerve ending. Ren has a pain.] Now your nerve endings are the tastiest part of your body. And your Tooth Beaver knows this. [Tooth Beaver hammers the Nerve ending. Ren whimpers like a little dog and screams maniacally. Ren faints. Stimpy comforts Ren.]

Sven Höek [Episode 2]

 * Svën: I'm looking for you now. I'm finding you.
 * Stimpy: I'm hiding in the closet...like an idiot.

 * [Ren returns home from work on a rainy day. He is shocked when he see's the house is a mess]
 * Ren: [angrily] I knew it! Cat dirt... everywhere! [starts to get more angry, but suddenly calms down] Well, at least I'm home.  I can continue my intellectual pursuits!
 * [A mellow Ren walks away, but then stops and is appalled at the sight of his opera records stuck to the wall]
 * Ren: My opera records! COVERED IN BUBBLE GUM! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! [sniffles a little, then turns around and notices several germs exiting open jars and squirming down the drain] My collection of rare, incurable diseases! Violated!  NOOO-OOO-OOOOO! [then see's his dinosaur droppings colored like easter eggs] My dinosaur droppings!  Painted... like EASTER EGGS!
 * [Stimpy and Svën cease playing when they hear Ren's outburst]
 * Ren: AAAHHHH!!!!!!! You... EEDIOTS!!! [Ren angrily stomps toward Stimpy and Svën, who back away several times until they hit a wall] YOOOOOUU... BOTH OF YOU!!! [He starts shaking angrily, but then transitions to a kind of sadistic calmness] Oh, what I'm gonna do to you. [He starts shaking his fists, thinking of ways to hurt Stimpy and Svën, who are cowering together; slowly] I'm so angry! First... I'm gonna tear your lips out. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. And then, I'm gonna... gouge your eyes out! Yeah... that's what I'm gonna do.
 * Stimpy: We don't like this, Ren!
 * Svën: Ja, you scary us!
 * Ren: Yeah. You're scared, huh? Next, I'm gonna... [mimes ripping their arms out and the dislocated arm dangling] TEAR your arms out of the sockets! [Stimpy and Svën whimper while rubbing their arms] And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna hit ya, and you're gonna fall... and I'm gonna look down... and I'm gonna laugh. [Stimpy and Sven both cry] But first... [Stimpy and Svën gasp] FIRST... [suddenly calm] I gotta take a whiz! Don't you go anywhere. [Points to the ground they're standing on] You stay right here... Right on this spot... I'll be back! [Ren stomps away, and over the "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence game before turing around and noticing it] What's this stupid thing?!
 * Stimpy: [cheerfully] It's a game, Ren!
 * Svën: Ja, it's really fun!
 * [Ren takes a look at the game, then turns to Stimpy and Svën, then smiles evilly, coming up with an idea]
 * Ren: Oh, ya like this game?
 * Stimpy: Oh yeah, Ren!
 * Svën: We love it!
 * Ren: Oh, ya like the game, huh? Do you really like it?
 * Stimpy and Svën: It's our favorite game in the whole world!
 * Ren: Oh, ya like the game, huh? Then how do you like this?!
 * [Ren produces a fly on his crotch and unzips it. Stimpy and Svën only look in horror as Ren whizzes all over the game. Ren looks at Stimpy and Svën giggling manically. Then the whole house explodes, sending the trio to Hell. The Devil appears.]
 * The Devil: So, you whizzed on the electric fence, did ya?
 * Commercial Jingle: Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence!

Man's Best Friend

 * George Liquor: Alright boys, this is it. A real dog's gotta learn how to protect its master. Now in order to protect, you must learn how to ATTACK! Come on, boys! ATTACK! Let's go, Rex! ATTACK ME!
 * Stimpy: But you are my kind and beloved master! [sobs] I CA-A-A-A-AN'T!
 * [Ren, now in an manic and psychotic state smiles intensely and taking great pleasure at the conflict unfolding. Now with the intent to attack George. He turns his head and sees and oar conveniently placed next to the fireplace. Realizing his twisted opportunity, Ren swiftly picks the oar up and with a look of malice prepares to attack.]
 * Ren: BUT I CAN!!! (Sarcastically)     “DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!!"
 * [Ren hits the oar at George Liquor, laughs maniacally, then swings the oar at him again and lands a hit on George Liquor's head.]
 * Stimpy: NOOOOO!!!
 * George Liquor: [slow motion] Whoa.
 * [In slow motion, Ren slaps his oar at George Liquor's head, dentures come out, And in normal motion, Ren then slams his oar into George Liquor's head. George Liquor's eye pops out and droops down and blinks twice in one eye.]
 * Ren: (Sarcastically)    “IT'S THE DISCIPLINE THAT BEGETS LOVE!!!!"     [Ren slaps his oar at George Liquor twice]
 * Stimpy: NOOOOO!!! [tear his ears off and grabs onto the oar, trying to prevent Ren from delivering another swing] YOU MUSN'T, he's our master!
 * Ren: eh-SHUT UP!, You're next, Mr. Doggie Treat! HI-YA! [Ren then sadistically beats George with the oar while he is on the ground.]

Dog Show

 * Mr. Horse: Next!
 * George Liquor: HERE! Take a look at this!
 * Mr. Horse: [looks at Ren's eyes] Hmmm... [the close-up of Ren's eyes is shown] Asthma Chihuahua, huh? Look at that. [Mr. Horse looks at Ren's ears, full of bugs] Well, this is representive of this sickness brain. Alright, he's in. [Mr. Horse puts Ren to the Final Contestants.]
 * Ren: Stimpy.
 * Mr. Horse: Hmm... [Mr. Horse looks at Stimpy's mouth] Never seen this breed before. [Mr. Horse looks at Stimpy's butt] Hmmm... [Mr. Horse covers Stimpy] No sir, this butt's too smooth. Never heard of that. [Bulldog tries to open his mouth]
 * George Liquor: TAKE A CLOSER LOOK, YA MORON! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT CORNIE'S BACK SIDE WHEN YOU SEE ONE?!?
 * Mr. Horse: Maybe I won't!

Out West

 * Stimpy: Hey Ren, he reminds me of your uncle Eddie.
 * Ren: Why's that?
 * Stimpy: 'Cause he's big and stinky!
 * Ren: [slaps him] Hey! You shouldn't say mean things like that. Did you ever consider that this horse might have feelings?

Stimpy's Fan Club [Episode 8]

 * Johnny: Dear Stimpy, I have a... secret. I know I can tell you, because you are nice, and would not tell anybody. I'm afraid to tell my friends, because they'll laugh.
 * Ren: Aww...
 * Johnny: I know you would never laugh at me.
 * Ren: Uh-uh!
 * Johnny: So... here's my secret. Every night... I wet the bed.
 * [Ren is aghast.]
 * Johnny: I can't help it! Please tell me what to do. Your friend, Johnny.
 * [Ren thinks for a while, then starts writing a response.]
 * Ren: Dear Johnny... You make me SICK!!! You probably wet the bed on purpose! I have written letters to everybody at your school warning them never to sleep over with you. Your friend...
 * Stimpy: [shocked] REN!!!

 * Mailman: Mailman. Got some mail here! [Ren is revealed to be in a Robotic Stimpy] Ah, hello Mr. Cat. You're looking healthy this morning.
 * Ren: Shut up. duh, I don't want anymore of your filthy letters! Your services are not welcomed here, and, duhh, tell those pesky kids to stop writing me, Stimpson J. Cat, duhhh.
 * Mailman: Um, Whatever you say. Actually, I only have one letter today and it's for Mr. Höek. I guess I'll just throw this one out.
 * Ren: GIVE ME THAT! ahahaehehe~! Letter for me, letter for me! Nothing for Stimpy! No, no, no, Mr. Ren Höek! ahehehhehe~! It says!
 * Stimpy: [wakes up] Aaahh~, Good Morning Ren~.
 * Ren: Kihihihihi~! You, you and your fan mail! Mr. Fan Club! [He jumps out of robot] Everybody loves you, don't they?! Well guess what the Mailman bought you today...NOTHING! This letter's for me! See?! You they have forgotten?! Now it's me they love! It is I that is the most loved. I, who shall rule! OH YES! THIS IS THE PROOF! THIS IS THE PROOF THAT YOU...ARE...FINISHED! Listen! This one says: Dear Ren, it's me, it's me! You are my favorite TV star! Nobody, nobody but you is funny or smart as you. SEE? ARE YOU GETTING THIS?! I AM THE BEST! [echoing] I AM KING!! Listen to this! You may learn something. I wish I could be just like you! How about THAT?! A man with some ambition. You are my favorite person in whole wide WORLD! HA! Love~, it says love~. Your pal,.... [surprised] Stimpy? Stimpy. I'm so ashamed.
 * Stimpy: I meant every word. [Ren begins to cry] There, there Ren~. There, there!
 * Ren: Look at me. Big, mean Ren...crying like a baby. Pretty pathetic, huh?
 * Stimpy: Oh, pasha! No one will never know. You just cry your little eyes out.

A Visit to Anthony [Episode 10]

 * Anthony's dad: [to Ren and Stimpy] Let's get something straight here. I don't like you. I don't like cartoons. You're here for one reason. My son, Anthony, likes you, and as long as you're good to my boy, you can stay. But if you do anything... to destroy his beliefs, or harm him... in any way... [gets choked up] so help me... [crying] Excuse me. Don't you even put that picture in my head. Do we understand each other?
 * Ren and Stimpy: [in unison] We understand, very well.

 * [Victor has knocked Anthony unconscious and Ren is trying to wake him up. Just then, Anthony's dad comes outside and sees what is happening; he mistakes Ren's attempts to save his son as an attack.]
 * Anthony's dad: [devastated] No... No...!
 * Ren: [desperate] Snap out of it, I tell you!
 * Anthony's dad: [approaches Ren] Get off. Get off my son.
 * [Ren complies.]
 * Anthony's dad: [crying] Oh... Oh, Anthony... My beloved child.
 * [Anthony's dad picks Anthony up and starts praying to God.]
 * Anthony's dad: I know I've strayed from Your path. And, maybe I don't go to church often enough. But, You know I'm a good man. I don't ask for much. But I'm asking... for this one thing. Please... don't take my boy from me. Give him a couple more good weeks.
 * Ren: [crying] I didn't do it, man!
 * Anthony's dad: [angrily] Alright, you two. You march into the house. Meet me in the DEN.

 * [Anthony's dad is confronting Ren and Stimpy in the den.]
 * Anthony's dad: Oh... You guys are big shots. [chuckles] Big shots from Hollywood. Is that what makes you feel big? Huh?! Pushing little boys around? Ya feel like big men, playing with little boys' feelings, huh?! You Hollywood types make me SICK! You think because you come from HOLLYWOOD, you can push decent people around. People who work for a living! I work my fingers to the bone, to feed my wife, and... [chokes up] my boy, Anthony. [crying] Oh, Anthony, you've got to pull through! [becomes angry again] I bet you wussies never worked a stinkin' day, in your stinkin' little lives! Show me your hands!
 * [Ren and Stimpy present their hands to Anthony's dad.]
 * Anthony's dad: Just as I thought. Soft as a baby's head. Well, look at these hands! [shows Ren and Stimpy his hands, which have rocks growing out of them] These are the hands of a working man! What'd you ever do for society anyway, just what do you do to earn your keep?
 * Stimpy: Eh... Well, we make people laugh.
 * Anthony's dad: Real hard work, making people laugh. Did you go to school to make people laugh? Listen. I make people laugh, too. But nobody gives ME money! You wanna hear a joke?
 * Stimpy: Well, I...
 * Anthony's dad: I'll tell ya a joke. And you're gonna laugh! Alright. Here's the joke. Ya ready? Why did they bury the fireman... behind the hill? Come on, funny guys, huh? Huh, huh? Why?
 * Ren and Stimpy: [trembling with fear; in unison] We don't know why they buried the fireman behind the hill...
 * Anthony's dad: I'll tell ya why. Because he was DEAD!
 * Stimpy: [laughs] That's pretty good, huh, Ren? Maybe we could use that.
 * [Ren smacks Stimpy.]
 * Anthony's dad: Alright, funny guys. I wanna know something. [increasing with anger] I just wanna know one thing... JUST ONE THING FROM YOU... [suddenly casual] So what makes you guys move, anyway?

The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen [Episode 11]

 * The Anthem of The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen (Sung to the theme of My Country Tis of Thee) Our country reeks of trees, Our Yaks are really large, And they smell like rotting beef-carcases. And we have to clean up after them, And our saddle-sores are the best. We proudly wear womens clothing, and searing sand blows up our skirts. And the buzzards, they soar overhead, and poisonous snakes, will devour us whole. Our bones will bleach in the sun. And we will probably go to hell! And that, is our great reward. For being the-uh royal CANADIAN, KILTED, YAKSMEN.

 * Shaven Yak: SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!! I can't STAND IT ANYMORE!!! All the time, singing! SINGING! Why won't he STOP?! Listen! You hear that? [Starts laughing maniacally]

Son of Stimpy [Episode 12]

 * Ren : What's on TV tonight?
 * Stimpy: I don't care.
 * Ren: Commander Hoek and Cadet Stimpy!
 * Stimpy: I don't care.
 * Ren: Hey look. It's time for Muddy Mudskipper!
 * Stimpy: I don't care.
 * [Ren looks concerned for a moment, then has an idea]
 * Ren: Look what I got for you! A new catnip mouse!
 * Stimpy: [turning it away] Ah....
 * Ren: Mr. Catnip Mouse!
 * [Ren tries to get Stimpy to play with the mouse, but Stimpy doesn't respond, then Ren has another idea]
 * Ren: It's Mr. Litter Box! Come on! Take a stinky one! [scratches steps] Nice and stinky!
 * Stimpy: Stinky... [loud, violent crying]
 * Ren: [annoyed] So THAT's it! YOU'RE still crying about your imaginary BUTT stinkyness!
 * Stimpy: I'm not listening to this anymore! He's real. He's REAL! He's REAL!
 * Ren: Look, man! It's time to get over this fantasy of yours. Let the wound heal. Come on, man, I'll help you. Together, we'll get through this, okay, buddy?
 * Stimpy: I don't care.
 * [At this point, Ren has finally lost his patience]
 * Ren: FINE! Sit here and wallow! You FAT, You -you STUPID... WHO NEEDS YA?! [storms off]

An Abe Divided

 * Stimpy: (reading his Christmas list to the Lincoln Memorial) And I want a bike, and a Betsy-Wets-Herself doll, and a CHEE-Z Bake Oven, and a Pulpy the Pup doll, and a jillion army men, and a... (Ren throws a sponge at him) Ooh! Ren: Get down from there! That's not Santy Claus! It's a memorial. Stimpy: A memorial? (gasps, then starts tearing up) I didn't know Santy Claus was... DEAD...! [starts crying hysterically] AAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-AAAA!! Ren: You are so stupid. Stimpy: Am I? Ren: IDIOT! Don't you recognize President Willard P. Fillmore when you see him?!

Jimminy Lummox

 * Ren: Must not get angry... Must not get angry... Huh? [reacts in horror] MY USED CELEBRITY UNDERWEAR!!! GONE!!! Where?! Who?! [gasps] Oh, no. OH, NO!!!!
 * [Ren rushes to the laundry room.]
 * Ren: [sobbing] He didn't! He didn't! Stimpy washed my collection... of used celebrity underwear...! I can't even tell the difference... inbetween Van Johnson's socks... and June Allison's underwear. WHY?!
 * [Ren continues sobbing as Stimpy enters.]
 * Stimpy: Eh... What's wrong, Ren?
 * Ren: [angry] You! Why, I oughta--
 * [Ren stops, and looks around, scared.]
 * Ren: Stimpy, what's wrong with you?! Why must you make me so angry?! You know I get hurt when you make me angry! Do you want to get me killed?!
 * [Ren comes to a realization.]
 * Ren: Unless... Of course...! [starts going insane] That's the plan, isn't it? You set me up, and he knocks me down. Is that it? Huh? Well, it won't work. 'Cuz I'm not gonna get mad. I'm not getting mad... No, sir. Not me. [laughs madly] I'm... happy! Happy, happy, joy, joy! Happy, happy, joy, joy! I'm happy, happy, happy! Not mad, mad, mad! [cackles] Mr. Happy Boy, right?! HEY, WORLD!!! AM I HAPPY ENOUGH?!
 * [Ren cackles loudly, his insanity reaching its breaking point. Then he grabs Stimpy.]
 * Ren: And now... you... DIE!!!

Jerry the Bellybutton Elf

 * Ren: Stimpy, how about some breakfast? I can really go for some of your famous Stimlard. Stimpy? Stim- [gasps] STIMPY!!!! [Stimpy was in bellybutton] [sad] OHHH STIMPY! [sobs] I, I warned you. [sobs, sniffs] WHY!? WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN!? [sobbing, sniffs] WHYY-Y-Y-Y!? [Ren chews bellybutton and starts sobbing. He pulls it out.] My dearest friend, you reduce to a fleshy love! [Ren cries. He hears a sound in the bellybutton. Stimpy uses a lawnmower. Jerry was so relaxed.]
 * Jerry: Oh, Stimpy, be a good boy. And after you finished mowing the lint, could you wash the lint, and iron the lint, and maybe pick lint from the lint, and, oh, don't forget to walk the lint. [Mr. Horse hears that sound in the bellybutton.] DINNER! DINNER! HURRY UP, BOY! I WANT MY DINNER! [Stimpy pants]

Hermit Ren [Episode 1]

 * [Ren is playing blackjack with his three personalities.]
 * Ren: Hey! You're trying to cheat!
 * Ren's Anger: Yeah? Your whole life's a cheat!
 * Ren's Fear: He's the cheat!
 * Ren's Ignorance: Did somebody say cheese?! [belches]
 * [The argument intensifies, causing Ren to go mad.]
 * Ren: STOP!!! [flips the table] Who are you? You're not my friends. You're just here to trick me, so you can steal all my stuff. Well, I'm onto ya. [grabs the mummy] Stand back! One false move, and the mummy gets it! I know all about your plot. Yeah, yeah. You're all in it together. Each and every one of you... Sleepin' in my gravel bed! Eatin' all my SAND...! Well, here's somethin' you can REALLY have! HIIII-YAH! [starts smashing the mummy apart]

 * Ren's Anger: Oh no! The Hermit Union Leader!
 * Jasper: Alright, this is a bust! YOU! [points to Ren] You broken the cardinal rule of Hermitude. Companionship. And what's with all these imaginary friends! You're violating the law. EXPOSED! YOU are officially kicked out of the Hermit Union!! [Fades to outside, Jasper ripped his beard off Ren. Jasper salutes Ren, Ren carrying mud Stimpy and walking to home. Jasper salutes, Ren's anger, fear and Ignorance salutes as well, Mummified Bog Man salutes too, Oldman Farmer Hoek salutes and Salesman salutes too and even bats salutes as well. Fades to Cowhouse, Ren looks at Cowhouse and he opens it.]
 * Stimpy: Giddyup, horsey! Giddyup! [Ren looks at Stimpy dressed up as a lady with Mud Ren.] Ren! You're back! [smiles]
 * Ren: So, I turned my back for 10 years and you found yourself another chihuahua! [Stimpy was sad and gets an idea]
 * Stimpy: Ahem! But, Ren. [Ren looks at Mud Stimpy]
 * Ren: Oh. [chuckles] Sure. Well, it's great to be back, BUDDY! [Ren hugs Stimpy, Mud Ren and Mud Stimpy was winking at the viewers smiley and hugs together. The two iris was closing completely at the end of the episode.]

I Love Chicken

 * Ren: Hey! Where the heck's my--?! [sees that Stimpy has been kissing his chicken] My... my chicken! [growls] MY CHICKEN AND MY BEST FRIEND!!! Skulkers in the DARK!!! Did you think I wouldn't notice!? The stuffing on your collar at night?! The drippings on the carpet?! The gravy on the couch?! I want my chicken dinner,     AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!

 * Stimpy: [comes to Ren] Ren, what are you eating?
 * Ren: [gulp] I was eating some delicious chicken sausages. [uses a toothpick.]
 * [The camera zooms to Stimpy for being sad and the backround blue. Cuts at bed Stimpy cries. "6 Months Later..."]
 * Ren: [opens the door] Stimpy? [Stimpy is lazy, cuts to Ren] I'm sorry I ate your chicken, it wasn't that good, I wasn't so glad to ask. [smiles]

Egg Yölkeo

 * Ren: Hammering my eggs just doesn’t thrill me like it used to. [bird squawk] I put off the eggs off the crumb-heads to their Asia, and yet I’m not thrilled… (cries) Oh, father. Why not I will blast within air… That’s when you came in my pet project! [pulls off the fabric] Oh my beautiful account of yolk, [hugs a bunch of scrambled eggs] I will mole you and make me do my old dreamy image! [The eggs fall. Fades to Black, then Ren makes a son out of eggs] Come, my child. I will help you… so that you’ll have sight and snitch to see, I give you a splendid press eyes. So to keep your head warm so it’s not to catch a chill, I give you a lock of my- [pulls off his hair] Chum! and so you’ll have wisdom and witch to think: [scoops out his brain] Lock off my- brain! But you are incomplete... Wait! of course I forgot: My assistant Stimpy will complete the final edition. Stimpleton! [Stimoy runs all the way to the Egg Smithee, while carrying a man, back at the Egg Smithee as Ren looks at Stimpy] Finally, do you have that man?
 * Stimpy: Yes, friend... [lifts up the fabric and yanks out the man's clothes] Ah, here are those cleaning tips that you wanted, Renwaldo!

 * Ren: [wakes up] Uh-oh. [sniffs] That snmells like- Bacon! Egg Yölkeo! Oh... No-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho...
 * [fades to black as the title says "TO BE CONTINUED..."]

Double Header

 * Stimpy [after waking up in the hospital after their second accident]: Where's Ren?
 * Ren: Here, you idiot! [We see what's left of Ren stitched together on Stimpy's behind] My face is killing me!
 * Doctor: The important thing is, you are alive, and you have each other. Have some lunch.
 * Stimpy: My favorite! Barbecued Boston baked beans!
 * [Iris out as Ren quivers with fear, then we hear a farting noise.]

Insomniac Ren

 * Haggis: What are you doing in bed, Höek? We've got to tee off in ten minutes!
 * Ren: I'm sorry, fellas. I-I haven't had too much sleep lately. [laughs]
 * Muddy: Ya lousy bum! Who's gonna drive?
 * Mr. Horse: Let's get outta here.
 * Ren: Wait. [pulls money out] I'll give five whole bucks to anyone who could just knock me out.
 * Stimpy: [excited] FIVE BUCKS?!
 * Trio: FIVE BUCKS?! [pulls out golf clubs]
 * Ren: [laughs, then Insanely] Nighty-night!
 * Haggis: Fore!
 * [banging sounds, all four leave with money in their hands]
 * Muddy: Gotta work on that slice.
 * Stimpy: [at front of the screen quietly] Shhh, Ren's taking a coma. [sticks out tongue and walks away tip-toeing]

My Shiny Friend

 * (After Ren takes Stimpy to "someplace where [he] won't hurt [himself] any longer", [i.e., their house's basement] he has a nightmare about Muddy Mudskipper and TV)
 * Stimpy: Hey, Muddy, what are you going to do with that mallet?
 * Muddy: AH-HA! [hits Stimpy with the Mallet, hard, resulting in a cranial eruption, with Stimpy groaning in pain] Give the bum a big hand! [Audience laughs]
 * [cut to Stimpy tossing and turning]
 * Stimpy: What...are...ya?...
 * [cut back to Stimpy's nightmare]
 * Muddy: You're a bum!
 * Stimpy: But Muddy, I love you!
 * Muddy: A lousy, stinkin' BUM!
 * [cut to Stimpy tossing and turning again, followed by cutting back to his nightmare]
 * Muddy [who has turned into a TV set]: You're, a BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM... BUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!
 * (Stimpy falls helplessly into Muddy's mouth, followed by Muddy chomping his mouth shut)
 * Stimpy: [as he wakes up from his nightmare] MUDDY!!
 * [Stimpy then runs up a winding staircase to the attic, which has a barred window]
 * Stimpy: Lord, Help me. [Stimpy begins to cry] I WANT MY TV!!!!!!
 * [cut to Ren, who doesn't hear him as he's fallen asleep]

Ren Needs Help!

 * Ren: [laughs] That's very funny. Creamed corn... AND MORE CREAMED CORN... I can't eat this SLOP!!! There's only one thing I hate more than creamed corn, and that's...
 * Fire Chief: Cheese?
 * [Yak goes crazy and grates his butt clean off.]

 * Ren: Look at you! You're freaks! You guys aren't crazy! You're just stupid! I got it all figured out! You're all prawns on the chess board!
 * Yak: Gee!
 * Ren: [to Fire Chief] And you! You're not mad! You're just suffering from a post-dramatic schizoholic brain blister!
 * Fire Chief: Wow!
 * Ren: [to Muddy Mudskipper] And you! Just a mere victim of an undissolved childhood hemorrhoidic offense mechanism!
 * Muddy: Say!
 * Ren: Gentlemen, start your embolisms!

Stupid Sidekick Union

 * [Baboon has become Ren's co-star; during the taping of an episode, Ren is trembling with fear.]
 * Ren: Who left this wildebeest carcass on my good sofa...? [gulps] This really makes me mad... Baboon...?
 * [Baboon runs up to Ren.]
 * Ren: You've really made me angry this time...
 * [Baboon growls.]
 * Ren: I'm gonna have to hit ya... You... stupid...
 * [Ren covers his eyes and smacks Baboon's nose. Baboon roars and starts mauling Ren.]

Superstitious Stimpy

 * Ren: Is that my beef carcass?
 * Stimpy: Yes it is, Ren! Beef carcasses are very lucky you know, once we immerse it in common house o-bile!
 * Ren: WHAT?! THAT MEAT GOES IN MY MOUTH, NOT IN YOUR BILE!
 * Stimpy: [stammers] But... but, Ren...Tuesday...17!
 * [Ren punches Stimpy to the ground and proceeds to lift up the beef carcass and, with a grunt, tosses it back in the house through the window, where it lands on their bed]
 * Stimpy: NOOOO!!! You've done it now, Ren! It's TERRIBLE bad luck to toss your carcass on the bed!
 * Ren: I wave my shiny red keister in the face of you and your stuper-stitions!!
 * Stimpy: [horrified] No, Ren! It's bad juju to blaspheme!
 * Ren: [evilly] Juju, eh? Ooh, I'm so scared! The big bad juju's gonna get me. COME ON, JUJU! I'M CALLING YOU OUT!!! [gets struck by lightning] Ow, ow, ow, ow...
 * Stimpy: Ha, ha. Gee, Ren, I guess you didn't know it was unlucky to---
 * Ren: GET IN THE HOUSE!!!
 * Stimpy: [scared] Yes sir! [runs back into the house]

Stimpy's Pet

 * [Ren is discussing with Stimpy about Sid.]
 * Ren: Okay, one more time, if you let the little monster come near me again, I'll...
 * Stimpy: Uh... Oh yeah! Kill me slow.
 * Ren: And...
 * Stimpy: Take my show away from me?
 * [Sid is looking at Ren's butt.]
 * Sid: Hmm, smooth butt. I heard of that.
 * Ren: And... [Sid bites Ren's butt, making him scream in pain]
 * Stimpy: Oh good! He's teething!

 * [Ren comes home to find out that Stimpy and Sid have made a mess of the house.]
 * Ren: THAT'S IT!!! I've had enough of you and your stupid pet! THERE'S TOOTHPASTE ALL OVER THE HOUSE!!! THE TOILET SEAT IS ALWAYS UP!!! AND HAVE YOU SEEN THE PRICE OF CLOWN PANTS NOWADAYS?! AND PLAYING WITH MY STUFF IS STRICTLY... VERBOTEN!!!!
 * [Upon hearing Ren say "verboten", Sid roars viciously and precedes to maul Ren as he screams.]
 * Stimpy: Now, Ren, you should refrain from using any Slavic dialects. Sid is a German attack clown.

Terminal Stimpy

 * [Open in on a shot of Ren and Stimpy's house, a giant barrel, Fade to inside the house; Ren is reading the morning paper while Stimpy crawls into the scene groaning while looking groggy and disheveled]
 * Stimpy: What a night. I feel like I got hit by a bus.
 * Ren: Funny you should say that. According to the obituaries, you were.
 * [Cut to a picture of Stimpy in the paper's obituaries with the headline "STIMPLETON CADOGEN HIT BY BUS!!!", Wipe transition to Stimpy going through the fridge with Ren next to him]
 * Ren: You know, you ougta be more careful. All this dying might be bad for your health.
 * Stimpy: [with a frozen chicken strapped to his head] Not to worry, Ren. I'm a cat. I got nine lives. [holds up three fingers]
 * Ren: Nine, huh? You've been keeping count.
 * Stimpy: Hmm...Good question. Let's see now. There was that really cold night when I...fell asleep under the hood of your car!
 * [Cut to a flashback. Stimpy is sleeping and shivering by the motor in Ren's car. We hear the car doors opening and closing. We then cut to Ren outside turning on the ignition. The car starts and we hear a cat screech as Stimpy's fur flies out of the hood. We cut back to Ren and Stimpy in the present]
 * Stimpy: Then, there was that silly incident down Mexico way.
 * [Cut to another flash back. We see a Mexican bandito tied up on the firing line. A Mexican general gives a command]
 * General: Ready...
 * [The wind blows the bandito's sombrero off of his head. It lands on the ground by Ren and Stimpy, who are wearing Hawaiian shirts and taking pictures. Stimpy notices the sombrero at his feet]
 * General: [Offscreen] Aim... [Stimpy picks up the sombrero and runs offscreen]
 * Stimpy: Señor, uh, you dropped your el hatto! I'll get it for ya!
 * General: [Offscreen] FIRE!
 * [Ren's eyes pop open. He looks back as a hail of gunfire is heard from offscreen. Ren looks back shocked, then smiles and takes a photograph. The flash illuminates the screen to reveal a photo of Stimpy and the bandito smiling and covered in bullet holes. Cut to Ren and Stimpy looking through a photo album.]
 * Stimpy: Oh, here's one. Remember that time I got hit by lightning?
 * [Cut to a picture of Stimpy burnt to a crip while golfing with Ren.]
 * Ren: How 'bout that time you took care of those gambling debts for me?
 * [Pan down to a photo of Stimpy at the bottom of the ocean wearing not only concerete boots, but a concrete coat, hat and umbrella.]
 * Stimpy: And don't forget our trip to the Amazon.
 * [Pan down to a photo of Ren and Stimpy in the Amazon, with Stimpy having been consumed by a python.]
 * Ren: Oh yeah, and that day you went out with the weat hair during the blizzard of '69.
 * [Cut to a flashback. Stimpy steps out of the shower and walks outisde into the cold. He walks out into the street and gets hit by a bus. Cut back to the present.]
 * Stimpy: So let's see. That makes...Um...Hmm...[thinks]...Sixty-twelve!
 * Ren: That's seven, you fathead.
 * Stimpy: Yeah, seven. [laughs]
 * Ren: Well, I got news for you, pal. You've only got two lives left. And if you buy the farm, that means I gotta do all the chores. We don't want that now, do we? [Stimpy blinks his eyes] Now be an imbecile and go light the furnace so I can take my bath.
 * [Stimpy goes down into the basement and sees the heater with a sign on it reading "DANGER". He tries with all his might to twist the valve on a pipe, but he can't move it.]
 * Stimpy: Ah, valve's stuck. [holds up a pipe wrench] This oughta do it. [repeatedly bangs on the pipe with the wrench until it is all bent up and gas is leaking out of it] Ahh, that's better. [Stimpy lights a match up toward the heater as gas begins filing the room. Dramatic music plays, implying that Stimpy will bet blown up by the gas leak. Suddenly, what appears to be a large rock falls from above and crushes Stimpy. Cut to an airplane flying through the air. Cut to inside the plane, where the sign outisd ethe lavatory changes from "Occupied" to "Vacant". Mr. Horse walks out of the lavatory dressed in a pilot uniform.]
 * Mr. Horse: Man, this airline food goes right through you. [Mr. Horse walks out of the frame. Cut back to Stimpy, still crushed under the "rock". Ren pokes his head into the frame, wearing a shower cap.]
 * Ren: Well, that's eight. You only got one life left.

A Scooter for Yaksmas [Episode 9]

 * [Stimpy is having a nightmare over accidentally stealing a scooter.]
 * Old Woman: That's him! Stealing scooters on Yaksmas! SHAME ON YOU!
 * Stimpy: But- But, I--
 * Shaven Yak: I stayed up for a week chewing all that gum for you!
 * Ren: I'm glad I forgot to get you that stupid scooter! You don't deserve it!
 * Cop: I was gonna buy that scooter for my sick little kid! And now look at her!
 * [Enter the cop's daughter, who is in the form of a demented marionette.]
 * Marionette: [laughs insanely] Now look at me! Now look at me! NOW LOOK AT ME! [laughs insanely]
 * Stimpy: I can explain! I--
 * [Stimpy gets slammed by a very large gavel, which belongs to the judge, Stinky Whizzleteats.]
 * Stinky: Stimpson J. Cat, you stand accused of stealing a $39 scooter. How do you plead?
 * Stimpy: Listen your honor, I--[his tongue reveals the words "guilty as sin" printed on it; he exclaims in shock]
 * Stinky: Foreman Yak, how do you find the thieving rat?
 * [We see the jury, which consists of twelve yaks, with their stand titling them as "12 Angry Yaks". One of the yaks, the foreman yak, stands up, and speaks.]
 * Foreman Yak: Guilty, of scootercide in the first degree.
 * Stinky: Very well. [points at Stimpy] For your crimes against humanity, your sentence is... INFINITY IN [echoing] PRISON!
 * [Stimpy gets locked in a jail cell.]
 * Stimpy: [crying] BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE IT!!!!

 * Fat oaf: So let me get this straight. You're a CIA agent sent by the Queen of America to deliver this top-secret scooter to the West Pole? Stimpy: "Eh, that's right. To the big chief spy himself, Stinky Wizzleteats!"

The Last Temptation

 * [last lines in the series]
 * Ren: Don't worry, Stimpy! I'll save yoooouuuu..... [Ren looks a motorcycle, two roller skates, a red car with a lady standing next to it and looks back at Stimpy, who is still choking. He dreams of riding around in the red car.] I'll, uhhh, go or help!
 * [Ren runs to Wilbur Cobb, who picks him up by the neck.]

 * Wilbur Cobb: So, back to your ol' tricks, EH JOHNNY?!? Are you gonna let your friend Snoopy choke? Are you gonna do the right thing? [Ren punches Stimpy and spits the leg of ham out of his mouth.] Good work, Skippy! And as a reward, you get the spend the next 15 years with your stupid friend there. [Wilbur Cobb slams his rake on Ren's head.] Of course, there's the matter of all these worldly goods and seeing as they were all bought with ill gotten gains, I'll have to take everything as evidence, goodbye.
 * [Wilbur drives off with all their stuff and a lady. Ren and Stimpy start crying.]
 * Stimpy: Aw, raggy!
 * [The Iris is closing, ending the episode and the series]

Pilot

 * [An establishing shot of a city skyline at night is shown.]
 * Narrator: [first lines (pilot only)] Now believe it or not, and I've been known to lie, but this here's a true story. [The camera pans down to show Ren and Stimpy sitting in the street] Now, the desire for food sometimes make strange bedfellers. [The camera closes in on Ren and Stimpy, both looking tired and hungry. Their stomachs growl loudly.] And that's where Ren Hoke and Stimpy come in.
 * [Ren turns to the camera, incensed at the mispronunciation of his name]
 * Ren: That's Höek, you eediot, not 'Hoke'!

title: The Ren & Stimpy Show


text:
User:6~enwikiquote

6 <--- This is not a number.

title: User:6~enwikiquote