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Halle Berry

Halle Maria Berry (born August 14, 1966) is an American actress, former fashion model, and beauty queen. Berry has received Emmy and Golden Globe Awards for Introducing Dorothy Dandridge and an Academy Award for Best Actress in 2002 for her performance in Monster's Ball, becoming the first and, as of 2008, only woman of African-American descent to have won the award for Best Actress. She is one of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood and also a Revlon spokeswoman. She has also been involved in the production side of several of her films.

Quotes

 * Sexiness is a state of mind -- a comfortable state of being. It's about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments.
 * Suzanne Condie Lambert (October 9, 2008) "'Esquire' crowns Berry the sexiest woman alive", The Arizona Republic, p. E6.

 * When I held that statuette, I felt as if I had won a triumph not just for myself, but for every other woman who'd struggled to overcome the same sort of background.
 * On winning an Academy Award — reported in Barbara Davies (August 10, 2008) "Lost and Found", Sunday Telegraph Magazine, p. 18.

 * Actors always have to fight for the good parts. There are so few good roles written for women each year, and when one is written like this every actress in town covets the role.
 * On her role in the film Things We Lost In The Fire — Western Mail staff (February 1, 2008) "From the grave to the cradle", Western Mail.

 * It's an amazing feeling to know that life is actually growing inside your body. The first time you see the ultrasound and you see the little bones and you realise that it's part of you and it's in your care is life changing and this sort of protective instinct has taken over.
 * On being pregnant with her first child — reported in Lawrie Masterson (October 21, 2007) "Yummy working mummy", Sunday Herald Sun, Section: IE, p. 3.

 * I want to do roles that are fun and challenging and I want to try different things. I don't want to keep doing Monster's Ball over and over and over again. I want to keep doing my career the way that I was doing it before I won the Oscar.
 * Amy Longsdorf (April 15, 2007) "Berry dares to leave drama queen behind her", Courier-Post, Section: B, p. 15G.

 * When you grow up in that (multi-ethnic) environment, you see the world differently. Being a mixed-race child, I didn't always see colour in people, I really didn't. It was other people that made me see the colour all the time.
 * Associated Press (April 14, 2007) "Savouring life with an Oscar", The Gold Coast Bulletin, p. 117.

 * When a young woman tells me that she wants to become and actor, I say, 'No, be a writer. Or go to business school and learn how to run a studio.' The only real change will come from behind the scenes.
 * On gender issues in the entertainment industry — reported in Geoff Pevere (April 13, 2007) "Berry almost chose bylines over marquees", The Toronto Star, p. D06.

 * The fact is that I like thrillers and action movies. But what really fulfills me is getting out of my comfort zone, taking chances.
 * Terry Lawson (April 8, 2007) "Reporter, Temp, Online Seductress - Berry Revels In Film's Layered Role", Detroit Free Press, p. 1F.

 * I get offered varied parts, often super sexy roles. But I still think it's an issue to find the good scripts. It's a myth that you win an Oscar and you get more opportunities, and this doesn't just go for me.
 * Will Lawrence (May 22, 2006) "Anything to do with taking off your clothes comes my way", Evening Standard.

 * You know, she often tells me that what I do is great. I don't think she ever thought I would end up doing this with my life. But I think she is happier that I haven't changed over the years, that I am still me, that I care about her and that we are the same as we always were. And I think that is what makes her most proud.
 * On Berry's relationship with her mother — reported in Hilary Morgan (May 14, 2006) "Stormy life of a leading lady - Cover Story", The Sun-Herald, p. 10.

 * Being a black woman, I've often felt I've been judged by my sex and my race, and I have always known that it shouldn't hamper me.
 * Mike Goodridge (March 26, 2005) "The seductress", Herald Sun, p. W10.

 * I don't buy into that pressure to be glamorous all the time. It's impossible, I mean, you get a pimple in the morning, you wake up with bags under your eyes, you see if you can use it in your work, maybe incorporate it into your character.
 * Mike Szymanski (July 23, 2004 ) "Halle Berry: 'Catwoman for the new century' is in control", The Seattle Times, p. H20.

 * I used to believe that if my career was going great, then I was not entitled to a great personal life. Well, I've stopped thinking that way. I believe I can have it all.
 * Barry Koltnow (April 1, 2004) "Halle, them's the breaks", The Advertiser, p. 048

 * I've also grown as an actor as I've got older in life. I've learnt how to go to work, immerse myself 100 per cent in the character and, at the end of the day, take it all off and go back, get a nice bubble bath, have a nice massage and realise that is not my life. And that feels good.
 * Steve Pratt (March 27, 2004) "Blazing a trail with Halle's comet", The Northern Echo, p. 10.

 * I've never been afraid to be who I really am on screen.
 * Lana K. Wilson-Combs (November 21, 2003) "Halle Berry finally finds a scary movie she can embrace in 'Gothika'", Alameda Times-Star, Section: Bay Area Living.

 * I never even think about the physicality of roles, until honestly I get the gig and I think, 'OK, now what do I have to do in this one?' Like, I approach it thinking more about the character -- do I respond to it? Is it something I think I can play? Does it seem like it'll be fun?
 * Betsy Pickle (November 21, 2003) "Berry's tough break - Actress stretches to physical max in 'Gothika'", The Knoxville News-Sentinel, p. 12.

 * I'm not obsessive, like I have to have the best butt or the best abs, but I like the idea of feeling strong and healthy. It's important to feel good about myself physically.
 * The Star-Ledger staff (May 2, 2003) "It's a beautiful year, again, for this Oscar-winner", The Star-Ledger, p. 62.

 * I've always liked to go down a different path. Being a woman of color, I never followed a cookie cutter way.
 * Cindy Pearlman (November 17, 2002) "Female Bonding - Hot on the Heels of her Academy-Award Winning Turn in 'Monster's Ball,' Halle Berry Shares the Screen With 007", Chicago Sun-Times, p. 1.

 * For me, the walk of the character is always the first part that I must define for myself.
 * Helen Barlow (March 15, 2002) "Monster Success", The Age, p. 3.

 * My mother always said to me, 'You're going to have to work harder and have to be better, and you can't take no for an answer'.
 * Angela Dawson (February 23, 2002) "Pick of the Crop", The Courier Mail, p. M10.

About

 * That was the first time she was given the opportunity to use what I think is still an underrated talent.
 * James Foley, on Berry's performance in Monster's Ball — reported in Steven Rea (April 28, 2007) "The days are sweet for Berry", The Courier Mail, p. M04.

 * I love Halle. She's so sweet. I connected with her immediately and, even though we only worked together for a few days, it was the best connection I've ever had with an actress. She made me feel like I could trust her.
 * Penelope Cruz, on working with Berry in Gothika — reported in Los Angeles Daily News staff (November 20, 2003) "American Gothika; Halle Berry overcomes her career fear to take first marquee role in horror film", The Guelph Mercury, p. F12.

 * As beautiful as Halle is on the outside, she's 10 times more beautiful on the inside.
 * Rick Yune — reported in Amy Longsdorf (November 17, 2002) "Still flying, still down to earth - Nothing's been the same since Oscar night, except Halle Berry herself", The Record, p. E01.

title: Halle Berry


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Keira Knightley

Keira Christina Knightley (born 26 March 1985) is an English actress.

Quotes

 * Prince William definitely isn't my type, he's too horsey-looking.
 * Interview for the Daily Mirror (August 2004)

 * I don't like my legs. … A good pair of legs on someone else always makes me jealous. I don't have any tits so I can't show cleavage. The only part I really like is my stomach.
 * "Is Kate turning into Keira?" by Clemmie Moodie The Standard (1 December 2005)
 * Variants:
 * I hate my body. I like so many other people's bodies. I like legs — a good pair of legs on someone else always makes me jealous.
 * Celebrity W.T.F’s Volume 107(16 December 2005)

 * There is definitely a fuck-you quality to the characters I choose.
 * Interview in Allure magazine (October 2007)

 * A lot of times in cinema today the women are overly sentimental, so I constantly try to do the opposite. I like strident women.
 * Interview in Allure magazine (October 2007)

 * I went from everyone saying, "She-can't-act-she-can't-act-she-can't-act," to an Oscar nomination. So there was something quite sublime about that!
 * On her role as Elizabeth Bennet in the 2005 film Pride and Prejudice, in Allure magazine (October 2007)

 * I haven't got a clue about how much I weigh. I do not own any scales. And I have noticed it creates an anger in people who are not skinny. People like to blame their insecurities on other people.
 * Interview in Allure magazine (October 2007)

 * Jesus, if I know one thing about the industry, it's that it's a moment. A flash in the pan. That's what's lovely about it. But it's hard, because one moment you're the hot thing, and the next moment — you're not. And there's no rhyme or reason for it.
 * Interview in Allure magazine (October 2007)

 * I think it's great that the discussions are finally being allowed to be had [about feminism], as opposed to anybody mentioning feminism and everybody going, 'Oh, fucking shut up.' Somehow, [feminism] became a dirty word. I thought it was really weird for a long time, and I think it's great that we're coming out of that
 * Interview in "Harper's Bazaar" magazine (February 2014)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Keira Knightley


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Avril Lavigne

Avril Ramona Lavigne (born 27 September 1984) is a Canadian singer-songwriter and actress.

Quotes

 * My butt-crack showing is like my trademark. I wear my pants loose, and lately Ive been so busy Ive lost a few pounds. My ass-crack is always showing!
 * on MTV show in 2002

 * She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside.
 * "Nobody's Home" (2004)

 * Some chick came up to me and said something, so I kicked her in the box and shoved her.
 * Maxim, September 2004

 * I’m on a vegan diet, I do yoga every day, I work out, I’m totally spiritual — I’m completely opposite of what everyone thinks I am right now.
 * "Avril: Bad girl turned good", interview with Calgary Sun (June 2005)

 * I know my fans look up to me and that's why I make my songs so personal; it's all about things I've experienced and things I like or hate. I write for myself and hope that my fans like what I have to say.
 * "Avril Lavigne Over the Hedge Interview" by Gaynor Flynn, in Girl.com.au (July 2006)

 * I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen.
 * "The Best Damn Thing" on The Best Damn Thing (2007)

 * He stuck a camera down my throat....ewwww, I gagged!!! It was kinda funny though.....he said I have "Acute Laryngitis".
 * Avril's Official Blog (1 May 2008), on her cancelled tour dates

(April 1, 2015 issue)

 * [On Lyme disease] I could barely eat, and when we went to the pool, I had to leave and go lie in bed, My friends asked, "What’s wrong?" I didn’t know. I had no idea a bug bite could do this, I was bedridden for five months. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t move, I thought I was dying. There were definitely times I couldn’t shower for a full week because I could barely stand. It felt like having all your life sucked out of you. They were asking about me since I was MIA, so I mentioned to one fan directly that I wasn’t feeling good, The get-well messages and videos they sent touched me so deeply. This was a wake-up call, I really just want to enjoy life from here on out.

(February 25, 2019 issue)

 * I’ve gone through so much, (referring to Lyme disease and divorce from Chad Kroeger) it put things in perspective and showed me how much the small things in life—friends, love, family, just your health—matter the most. (Referring to the debuting of album Head Above Water) It gave me a purpose, and made me find myself all over again. I'd give anything just to relax with a glass of wine 'cause it just means so much to me. There's still a part of me that loves punk rock.

 * I was hanging out with a guy and he said; "You're a dumb blonde" and I was like; "Ah, Thanks!" I think it's a good slap in the face to someone who can't handle a strong independent woman.

Let Go (2002)

 * Let Go (4 June 2002), Arista Records

 * I get all these loser preps coming up to me asking for autographs and all this crap, and I really want to tell them, 'My music is not for people like you!
 * "People"

 * Chill out, what're you yelling for? Lay back. It's all been done before, and if? You could only let it be? You will see, I like you the way you are. When we're driving in your car and you're talking to me one and one. But you've become somebody else, like everyone else! You're watching your back, like you can't relax. You're trying to be cool; you look like a fool to me.
 * "Complicated"

 * Tell me, why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else; get's me frustrated. Life's like this: You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into. Honestly, you promised me I'm never going to find you faking. No, no! No!
 * "Complicated"

 * He was a boy, she was girl. Can I make it any more obvious? He was a punk; she did ballet. What more can I say? He wanted her, she'd never tell secretly she wanted him as well. All of her friends stuck up their nose, they had a problem with his baggy clothes. He was a skater boy. She said: 'see you later, boy'. He wasn't good enough for her. She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space. She needed to come back down to Earth!
 * "Sk8er Boi"

 * He was a skater boy. She said: 'see you later, boy'. He wasn't good enough for her. Now, he's a superstar. Slamming on his guitar, to show pretty face what he's worth.
 * "Sk8er Boi"

 * Sorry, girl. But, you missed out. Well tough luck; that boy's mine now. We are more than just good friends; this is how the story ends. Too bad that you couldn't see; see the man that boy could be. There is more than meets the eye; I see the soul that is inside. He was a boy, she was girl. Can I make it any more obvious? We are in love, haven't you heard? How, we rock each other's world!
 * "Sk8er Boi"

 * I'm standing on the bridge; I'm waiting in the dark. I thought that you'd be here by now. There's nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground. I'm listening, but there's no sound. Isn't anyone trying to find me? Won't somebody come take me home?
 * "I'm With You"

 * Why is everything so confusing? Maybe I'm just out of my mind. Won't you, take me by the hand? Take me somewhere new. I don't know who you are, but I? I'm with you, I'm with you.
 * "I'm With You"

 * If you're trying to turn me into something else? It's easy to see, I'm not down with that.
 * "Nobody's Fool"

title: Avril Lavigne


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Norah Jones

Geetali Norah Jones Shankar (born March 30, 1979), widely known as Norah Jones, is an American singer-songwriter, musician and actress. She is a daughter of an American, Sue Jones, and Indian sitar virtuoso Ravi Shankar.

Song lyrics

 * Something has to make you run I don't know why I didn't come
 * "Don't Know Why", Come Away with Me (2002)

 * Lonestar Where are you out tonight? This feeling I'm trying to fight It's dark and I think that I would give anything For you to shine down on me
 * "Lonestar", Come Away with Me (2002)

 * How far you are I just don't know The distance I'm willing to go I pick up a stone that I cast to the sky Hoping for some kind of sign
 * "Lonestar", Come Away with Me (2002)

 * If I were a painter I would paint my reverie If that's the only way for you to be with me
 * "Painter Song", Come Away with Me (2002)

 * It never rains when you want it to You humble me, Lord
 * "Humble Me", Feels Like Home (2004)

 * I can't hold on very long Forgive me, pretty baby, but I always take the long way home
 * "The Long Way Home", Feels Like Home (2004) [Misattributed: lyrics by Tom Waits]

 * I want to walk with you On a cloudy day In fields where the yellow grass grows knee high
 * "Come Away With Me", Come Away With Me (2002)

 * I want to wake up with the rain Falling on a tin roof While I'm safe there in your arms So all I ask is for you To come away with me in the night Come away with me
 * "Come Away With Me", Come Away With Me (2002)

 * I love the things that you've given me I cherish you my dear country But sometimes I don't understand the way we play
 * "My Dear Country", Not Too Late (2007)

title: Norah Jones


text:
Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart born Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz 28 November, 1962) is an American actor and comedian. He was also the host of the Emmy-award winning program, The Daily Show, author of Naked Pictures of Famous People and co-author of the New York Times bestseller America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction.

 * See also The Daily Show

Quotes

 * Little and hairy. But if [The New York Post] want to go with smart and stylish then hey, more power to them. Good luck.
 * Steppin' Out interview, December 23, 1993, when asked how he would describe himself.

 * I've always run by the hierarchy of "If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something."
 * Rolling Stone interview, January 26, 1995

 * I signed up for what? I thought I was just ordering cable.
 * Chicago Tribune, August 12, 1998; on signing on as host of The Daily Show.

 * The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
 * Charleston Gazette interview, January 9, 1999

 * You wake up and you're still a little drunk and you can't believe that hot girl from last night actually has a beard and a penis.
 * Cosmopolitan, January 1999, on embarrassing dates.

 * You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
 * Orange County Register, July 9, 1999
 * That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you want that? Go to Canada my friend. Believe me, rocks and snow are overrated. I've seen otters—they look better covered in oil.
 * Nightline, 2001. On governments plans to drill in Alaska.

 * I don't know what all the controversy is about, quite frankly. I've met Eminem, I met him backstage, and he's really gay.
 * Grammy Awards, February 21, 2001

 * If you look on their lawn, there are... it looks like a tent city of reporters. I don't know what insight they think they're going to glean from these people's grief, but if there's ever a situation where someone who's just lost their daughter has anything to say other than "this sucks," I'd be happy to see a news crew on their lawn, but until then, why are these people there?
 * On exploitative media coverage of the Danielle Van Dam case, Paley Center for Media interview, 2002

 * This show is our own personal beliefs.
 * Paley Center interview, in response to an audience question, "How do you keep your own personal beliefs from showing up in the show?"

Jon Stewart: I am not. Kurtz: Does that make you legitimate? Stewart: No, I am illegitimate. I am the bastard son of anything. We're not— we're fake. Stewart: No. You guys are— Kurtz: You're just making fun— Stewart: You guys are confusing yourselves with real journalists.
 * Howard Kurtz: CNN has is broadcasting your show internationally.
 * Kurtz: So you don't, you're not confusing yourself with a quote, "real journalist"?

 * If done for the right reasons, liberating a country from a despot, I don't see how that's immoral. Ah, done quickly, and then we all leave, yeah that's kind of... I mean, it's so much obviously more complicated than that. They're literally, if he doesn't allow inspections, we're bombing him — I'll allow inspections. If he doesn't allow them... on Tuesday — I'll allow them on Tuesday. If he doesn't serve fondue — alright, I'll serve fondue. I mean, they're gonna do anything, it's clear they cast their die, I mean, as hard as it is for Dick Cheney to get an erection, he's not gonna let this opportunity go by.
 * Harvard University, December 13, 2002, in response to a question about the prospect of war in Iraq, should Saddam Hussein continue to dodge weapons inspections.

 * Here is what I believe is the paradigm that would be effective and what I would love to see, and you're going to laugh because Fox News is my model. What Fox has done is they've got a guy, Roger Ailes, who's passionate and has created a model for a 24-hour news station that makes money based on a point of view... Using Fox's model, find someone with the passion and the huevos to just lay it on the line — not in a partisan way, not in the pursuit of political power and political gain, but in the pursuit of credibility.  In the pursuit of being a judge, an arbiter, and earning the trust of the audience over time as an oversight to the shenanigans of the political world.
 * Charlie Rose interview, September 29, 2004, describing his ideal news network.

 * If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics — and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy — but I look at politicians as, they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power.  When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, "that's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?"  But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say "bad monkey."
 * Charlie Rose interview, September 29, 2004

 * It's a brilliant metaphor. What I meant to say was, when you see a monkey masturbating at the zoo...
 * C-SPAN interview, October 14, 2004, when asked about the above quote.

 * [Robert Novak] apparently, they say, broke his hip. I think it's not the case. I believe his hip tried to escape.
 * C-SPAN interview, October 14, 2004

 * How did Memogate get a "gate"? How did Nipplegate get a "gate"?  We invaded a country with the wrong information, and Janet Jackson's tit got a "gate".  Who gives out the "gates"?  Is there a "Gate"-gate? Is there a, a... I mean, it's absolute... We're living in insanity!
 * C-SPAN interview, October 14, 2004

 * Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, "fair and balanced? Why, that's snide!"  Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan "You Can Depend on CNN".  Guess what?  I watch it, no you can't.  So what's the difference?
 * C-SPAN interview, October 14, 2004

 * Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
 * Amazon.com interview, 2004

 * The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, "We're going to make a killing here." You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
 * Wired interview, September 13, 2005

 * The American people. For their just utter patience.
 * On Larry King Live, in response to the question "Who in this administration fascinates you the most?" February 26, 2006

 * Did you really just ask me if I want it to be bad? I have kids! What do you think? "Yeah, I don't want them to have any kind of a -- I want things to corrode to the point where we're all living in huts." [...] [I] "like things to go a little wrong" like birdshot to the face of a guy that would survive, not "like things to go wrong" till it's like Mad Max, every-man-for-himself-let's-all-ride-around-and-machine-guns, which seems to be the way that it's [going].
 * Responding to King's suggestion that as a political comedian Stewart would "want things to be bad" because that would provide him with the most fodder for jokes

 * Are you insane?!
 * Responding to King's example, "So, you wouldn't want Medicare to fail?"

 * Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
 * Originally spoken, reprinted in Mr. Obama Goes to Washington By David Sirota in The Nation, June 7, 2006.

 * Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
 * Rolling Stone interview, October 31, 2006

 * We are not warriors in anyone's army. And that is not trying to be self-deprecating. I'm proud of what we do. I really like these two shows. I like making 'em. I like watching them. I'm really proud of them. But I understand their place. I don't view us as people who lead social movements.
 * Rolling Stone interview, October 31, 2006, on the role of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

 * I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.
 * Philadelphia Inquirer interview, April 22, 2007

 * The best part is that I'm able to come in, and whenever I want, choose an intern... oh, wait — Is this being recorded? No, the coolest part is the ability to have a silly thought about whatever is going on in your world at 10 o'clock in the morning, and be able to see it go out on the airwaves at 11 o'clock that night. That's an amazing privilege.
 * Philadelphia Inquirer interview, April 22, 2007

 * The reason I don't worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I'll take those odds every fucking day.
 * Stone'' interview, November 2007

 * Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
 * "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," January 29, 2009

 * That's the embarrassment. The embarrassment is that I'm given credibility in this world, because of the disappointment that the public has in what the news media does. Not because I have an ideological agenda.
 * Jon Stewart to Chris Wallace, Fox News Interview June 19, 2011

 * Comedian Jon Stewart says political commentators are “making a mistake” focusing on former President Donald Trump’s individual contributions to eroding democracy, arguing instead that America’s institutions are vulnerable to “the idea that power is its own reward.” “I don’t know if autocracy is purely the domain of Donald Trump,” the former "Daily Show" host said in an interview aired Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.” “Unfortunately, the messiness of democracy is often maybe one of its greatest weak points. People generally want prosperity and security." "If a democratic system is having difficulty providing that or if it's being subverted by those who want to create chaos so that they can make a more authoritarian government, that's part of it, too,” he added. “If we have identified the pressure points where the guardrails look most vulnerable, that's where we should be focusing so much of our efforts in terms of strengthening. … The encouraging thing is watching on a grassroots level, people that are really viewing it as something that they want to protect and that they want to strengthen,” Stewart said.
 * Jon Stewart to Jake Tapper, CNN, "State of the Union", (October 17, 2021) as quoted by Craig Howie, “Jon Stewart warns more risks to the political system than Trump”, Politico, (10/17/2021)

 * “Again, he is not singing new songs. … He is maybe singing them better than [the late Sen. Barry] Goldwater," Stewart said. "But I think it's a mistake to focus it all on this one individual and not to focus it more on the idea that power is its own reward, whether it be in the financial industry or in government. Power doesn’t ever cede itself.” “We learned a lot of this in recent decades, but especially maybe the last four or five years because Donald Trump was so disruptive and so willing to challenge norms, we have learned that a lot of the American system is built on the honor system," Stewart said. "That only works, of course, if you care about or even have a sense of honor.”
 * Jon Stewart to Jake Tapper, CNN, "State of the Union", (October 17, 2021) as quoted by Craig Howie, “Jon Stewart warns more risks to the political system than Trump”, Politico, (10/17/2021)

 * The people who talk about anti-woke are the biggest fucking pussies you would ever find… I’m just so tired of it. The woke shit, you lose nothing. I’m a comedian — I’ve lost two words in 35 years. Honestly, are you that fucking unimaginative that you can’t figure it out?
 * Jon Stewart Mocks “Anti-Woke” Comedians: “Are You That F*cking Unimaginative?”

Naked Pictures of Famous People (1998)

 * Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.

 * Orthodox Jews, or, as they are known in the Talmud, the Really Chosen Ones, are committed to the idea that the entire Torah was dictated by God verbatim to Moses at Mount Sinai ... Other forms of Judaism dispute this claim, although it does explain certain passages in the first Torah, such as, "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" and "What do you like better, Moses, Lord Almighty or Big Hoohah?"

 * Reform Jews are the children of Conservative Jews, or as they are sometimes known, Christians with curlier hair.

 * Hitler: (biting into a bagel) First of all, Larry, I don't know what I was so afraid of. These are delicious!!!
 * Adolf Hitler is interviewed by Larry King.

 * Hitler: Look, I was a bad guy. No question.  I hate that Hitler. The yelling, the finger-pointing, I don't know... I was a very angry guy. King: And this... new Hitler? Hitler: I get up at seven, have half a melon, do the Jumble in the morning paper and then let the day take me where it will.  Some days I'll fish, maybe hit the mall for an Orange Julius.  The other day I spent seven hours in the park watching ants cart off part of a sandwich.  Me!! The inventor of the Blitzkrieg... When you stop having to control everything, it's very freeing.

 * Hitler: Denial is a powerful thing... I always thought I could stop any time I wanted. "If I could just get Czechoslovakia, that'll be the end of it.  I'll be happy then." And then I'd get it and think, well geez, Poland's just up the road a piece and... you know the rest.

 * Hitler: I'm not going to lie to you, it took a while. There were moments all along where I knew something was wrong.  I remember one time... I think it was in Munich.  We were having a rally.  100,000 people all chanting my name.  The bonfires were going.  The whole shebang.  It should have been a crowning moment, but I clearly remember thinking, What am I doing here?  I hate crowds.

The Daily Show (1999-2015, 2024)

 * [mobster impression] Hey! Nice nominee you got there. [sniff, tightens tie] Be a shame if something happened to him, Mr. President. Know what I mean?
 * The Daily Show, February 21, 2013

 * If comedy is tragedy plus time, I need more fucking time. But I would really settle for less fucking tragedy.
 * The Eric Garner Grand Jury Decision, December 4, 2014

 * Maybe a more nuanced alert system could allow for more productive intervention beyond “You have ten seconds to disperse”. Or we can agree to keep ignoring the roots of how systemically, historically disenfranchised many African American communities still are, only paying attention to them when we fear their periodic, fiery ball of anger threatens to enter our airspace, and once again breathing a blissful sigh of forgetful relief when it’s another near miss.
 * Baltimore on Fire, April 29, 2015

 * What blows my mind is the disparity of response between when we think people that are foreign are going to kill us and us killing ourselves. If this had been what we thought was Islamic terrorism, it would fit into our… We invaded two countries, and spent trillions of dollars and thousand of American lives and now fly unmanned death machines over, like, five or six different countries, all to keep Americans safe. We got to do whatever we can, we’ll torture people. We got to do whatever we can to keep Americans safe. Nine people, shot in a church, what about that? “Hey what are you gonna do? Crazy is crazy, right?” That’s the part that I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around.
 * Charleston Church Shooting, June 19, 2015

 * I heard someone on the news say, well, "tragedy has visited this church”. This wasn’t a tornado. This was a racist. This was a guy with a Rhodesia badge on his sweater. You know, I hate to even use this pun, but this one is black and white. There’s no nuance here. And we’re gonna keep pretending like “I don’t get it, what happened, there’s one guy who lost his mind”, but we are steeped in that culture in this country and we refuse to recognize it.
 * Charleston Church Shooting, June 19, 2015

 * The Confederate flag flies over South Carolina, and the roads are named for Confederate generals, and the white guy is the one who feels like his country is being taken away from him. We’re bringing it on ourselves. And that’s the thing, Al-Qaeda, all those guys, ISIS, they’re not shit compared to the damage that we can apparently do to ourselves on a regular basis.
 * Charleston Church Shooting, June 19, 2015

 * I've learned one thing over these last nine years, and I was glib at best and probably dismissive at worst about this -- the work of making this world resemble one that you would prefer to live in is a lunch pail fucking job, day in and day out, where thousands of committed, anonymous, smart, and dedicated people bang on closed doors and pick up those that are fallen and grind away on issues 'til they get a positive result, and even then, have to stay on to make sure that result holds. So the good news is, I'm not saying you don't have worry about who wins the election. I'm saying you have to worry about every day before it, and every day after it, forever.
 * The Daily Show, Feb 12, 2024

College of William & Mary Commencement Address (2004)

 * College of William & Mary'' (May 20, 2004)

 * My life [is] a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I’m actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.

 * We declared war on terror—it's not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I'm sure we'll take on that bastard ennui.
 * Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

 * Let's talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I… I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it. Please don’t be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry. I don’t know if you’ve been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize.

 * I have not found this generation to be cynical or apathetic or selfish. They are as strong and as decent as any people that I have met. And I will say this, on my way down here I stopped at Bethesda Naval, and when you talk to the young kids that are there that have just been back from Iraq and Afghanistan, you don’t have the worry about the future that you hear from so many that are not a part of this generation but judging it from above.

 * And the other thing… that I will say is, when I spoke earlier about the world being broke, I was somewhat being facetious, because every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant.

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)
(Co-written with Ben Karlin, David Javerbaum and the writers of The Daily Show)
 * Dedication: To the huddled masses, keep yearnin'!
 * 1300 BC: God gives Ten Commandments to Israelites, making them His Chosen People and granting them eternal protection under Divine Law. Nothing bad ever happens to Jews again.

 * May 3, 325: Rome built.

 * 30 AD: Death penalty debate heats up after controversial execution of alleged "Son of God".

 * Through most of colonial history, inhabitants of the 13 colonies were loyal subjects of the British crown — resourceful, dedicated and as the Third Duchess of Kent... was fond of saying, "Some tea-drinkin' motherfuckahs." In fact, whenever the subject of the New World was mentioned, the Duchess could always be counted on for a wistful head-shake and a hearty "Motherfuckahs love that motherfuckin' tea."

 * But on what basis should the three branches of government be divided? It came down to two dueling ideas: Madison's proposal of an executive, judicial and legislative branch, and Georgia's Joseph Morton's proposal to dole out power according to, "The presence, forbearance, rectictude and largeosity of one's 'Plums and Carrot'."  After much deliberation, it was decided Madison's proposal would be accepted, Morton only relenting after the Constitutional Convention agreed to proclaim him "impressive."

 * By far the most revolutionary aspect of this new position [of the presidency] would be who could hold it. The short answer: just about anyone.  By placing no explicit race, gender, or religious requirements on the presidency, the Founders opened the door to a true meritocracy.  Why no women, blacks, or non-Christians have answered the founders' challenge is a mystery, though most indications point to some inherent genetic flaw. (William Howard Taft came closest, having what most observers agreed were boobs.)

 * If the presidency is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings may be mysterious and unpleasant, but in the end they excrete a great deal of material whose successful passage is crucial to our nation's survival.

 * A free and independent press is essential to the health of a functioning democracy. It serves to inform the voting public on matters relevant to its well-being. Why they've stopped doing that is a mystery. I mean, 300 camera crews outside a courthouse to see what Kobe Bryant is wearing when the judge sets his hearing date, while false information used to send our country to war goes unchecked? What the fuck happened?

Crossfire Appearance (2004)

 * Jon Stewart appeared on Crossfire on October 15, 2004 with hosts Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson. CNN's rush transcript of Stewart's appearance from CNN's official website.

 * Video of Jon Stewart's appearance on Crossfire provided by IFILM (requires Macromedia Flash).

Paul Begala: We have noticed. Stewart: And I wanted to—I felt that that wasn't fair, and I should come here and tell you that I don't—it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America. Tucker Carlson: But in its defense— Stewart: But I wanted to come here today and say—here's just what I wanted to tell you guys. Carlson: Yes. Stewart: Stop. Stop, stop, stop. Stop hurting America.
 * Jon Stewart: And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.

 * Stewart: You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably. Carlson: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think. Stewart: You need to go to one. [...] Carlson: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny. Stewart: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

 * Stewart: [To Tucker Carlson] How old are you? Carlson: Thirty-five. Stewart: And you wear a bow tie. ... So this is theater. ... Now, listen, I'm not suggesting that you're not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie. ... But the thing is that this—you're doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great. ... It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery.

Stewart: Absolutely. Carlson: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on, and you— Stewart: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
 * Carlson: You had John Kerry on your show, and you sniff his throne, and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?
 * After being accused by Carlson of not having asked John Kerry hard-hitting enough questions during an interview on The Daily Show.
 * After being accused by Carlson of not having asked John Kerry hard-hitting enough questions during an interview on The Daily Show.

 * We look at—the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the theater of it all, you know, which, by the way, thank you both, because it's been helpful.
 * In response to Paul Begala's question of which 2004 presidential candidate would provide the best comedic material if elected.

 * You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.
 * To Tucker Carlson after Carlson accused Stewart of not being as funny as he appeared on The Daily Show.

 * They said I wasn't being funny. And I said to them, "I know that, but tomorrow I will go back to being funny, and your show will still blow."
 * Your Show Blows, October 18, 2004

Stand-up performance at RIT (2005)

 * What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square... It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, "'sup?"

 * It upset me that, five days after the hurricane hit down in New Orleans, the President's plan was for a day of prayer. I would have thought a truck of food.  A day of prayer.  Now, maybe I'm mistaken here and, again, I'm not a scientific expert, but isn't a hurricane officially an act of God?  Isn't a day of prayer kind of redundant?  Hasn't God already made up his mind on that sort of thing?  So we do a day of prayer.  The President has his stupid day of prayer.  Three days later, Hurricane Rita hits.  Somebody must have said something... something like, "is that all you got?"

 * Here's how bizarre the war is that we're in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn't want to go. Germany.  The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.

 * You can always tell when Bush is in trouble. He always brings out 9/11.  9/11 is the cudgel that he waves.  As far as he's concerned, it's "Open Sesame".  9/11 is his way of saying, "Okay, I'm fucking up now, but remember four years ago?  That was cool."  I think he thinks he can use it for anything.  "9/11.  On 9/11 we were attacked.  And so, I should get to bang your wife." What? "Now, there are some nay-sayers out there who think I shouldn't bang your wife, well, that's the cut-and-run crowd."

 * What is the fear of the "gay agenda" that has so upset people? Do people think that if gay people are given a place at the table, they'll be so convincing we'll all end up blowing them? What is the issue? "You know, I'm straight, but you've made such a convincing argument..."

The 78th Academy Awards (2006)
Stewart hosted the Academy Awards on March 5, 2006. "Overheard During the 78th Annual Oscars", AP (via Yahoo! News). Found to be inactive on 2009-04-06.
 * I do have some sad news to report. Björk couldn't be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

 * Good evening everybody, ladies, gentlemen... Felicity.

 * I really thought that the make-up artist for Cinderella Man should have won. I mean, it's so hard to make Russell Crowe look like he got in a fight.

 * If there's anyone out there involved in illegal movie piracy... don't do it. Take a good look at these people. These are the people you're stealing from. Look at them! Face what you've done! There are women here who can barely afford enough gown to cover their breasts.

 * Tonight is the night we celebrate excellence in film, with me, the fourth male lead from Death to Smoochy. Rent it.

 * For those of you who are keeping score at home, I just want to make something very clear: Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars.  Three 6 Mafia, one.

The 59th Primetime Emmy Awards (2007)

 * [with Stephen Colbert, after presenting the award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series to Ricky Gervais and being informed that Gervais was not there] Ricky Gervais couldn't be here tonight, so instead we're going to give this to our friend Steve Carell.
 * Carell, who was among the nominees who had just lost to Gervais, then ran onto the stage, where the three of them group-hugged and jumped around screaming.

Hartford Advocate Interview (2008)

 * As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal—in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
 * I am sick of deconstructing their propaganda, because it's pretty much the same as it's always been. It's just repeating something over and over again until we believe it and we hope that you believe it.

 * If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas would certainly be ripe. You would think that if you bring oxygen to the organism, the organism lives. But there may be other organisms in there that thrive in darkness and in a more anaerobic environment. Watching those creatures writhe will always be interesting.
 * On whether satire would be difficult under an Obama administration

 * I think the metric by which television is considered liberal is literally based on the metric of liberalism in each person's soul. Peoples' senses of humor tend to go about as far as their ideology.
 * On whether The Daily Show is liberal.

 * I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even going to be consistent with the same person. People can hold liberal and conservative dogma points at the same time. They're not living their lives via platforms. They're living their lives. The whole thing is an awfully tired construct.

 * People would like to place a standard on our show that doesn't exist. We're not set up for reporting; we don't have an apparatus for that. We're discussing things that hopefully people might get something out of, but it's wildly inconsistent. Just because we hit on points that resonate, or people think are real complaints—that doesn't make us journalists.

 * Stewart: The real issue is that TV news can either bring clarity or noise. And it tends to not seem to know the difference between them. … We do a show that doesn't try to bring noise. I think that we have a more consistent point of view than most news shows, I'll say that. Bulger: What's that point of view? Stewart: That theater doesn't make for authentic public discourse.

The Bill O'Reilly Factor Appearance (2010)

 * "If Obama's a tyrant, he's a pretty tame tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they can't get cloture?"
 * "[Fox News has] taken reasonable concerns about this president and this economy and turned it into a full-fledged panic about the next coming of Chairman Mao."
 * Stewart on The O'Reilly Factor (Partial transcript)

Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear closing speech (2010)

 * Closing speech of Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear (30 October 2010) - YouTube video

 * I can't control what people think this was. I can only tell you my intentions. This was not a rally to ridicule people of faith. Or people of activism or to look down our noses at the heartland or passionate argument or to suggest that times are not difficult and that we have nothing to fear. They are and we do. But we live now in hard times, not end times. And we can have animus and not be enemies.

 * The country’s 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much harder.  The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems bringing them into focus, illuminating issues heretofore unseen or they can use that magnifying glass to light ants on fire and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous flaming ant epidemic.  If we amplify everything we hear nothing.

 * There are terrorists and racists and Stalinists and theocrats, but those are titles that must be earned. You must have the resume. Not being able to distinguish between real racists and tea partiers, or real bigots and Juan Williams and Rick Sanchez is an insult — not only to those people, but to the racists themselves, who have put forth the exhausting effort it takes to hate. Just as the inability to distinguish between terrorists and Muslims makes us less safe, not more.

 * We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is — on the brink of catastrophe — torn by polarizing hate and how it’s a shame that we can’t work together to get things done, but the truth is we do.  We work together to get things done every damn day!

 * Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that are just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it’s something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises.

 * If you want to know why I’m here and what I want from you I can only assure you this: you have already given it to me. Your presence was what I wanted.  Sanity will always be and has always been in the eye of the beholder.  To see you here today and the kind of people that you are has restored mine.  Thank you.

Speech to Congress on Behalf on 9/11 First Responders (2019)

 * As I sit here today, I can't help but think what an incredible metaphor this room is for the entire process that getting health care and benefits for 9/11 first responders has come to. Behind me, a filled room of 9/11 first responders; and in front of me, a nearly empty Congress. … Your indifference cost these men and women their most valuable commodity -- time! It's the one thing they're running out of. This hearing should be flipped. These men and women should be up on that stage, and Congress should be down here, answering their questions as to why this is so damn hard and takes so damn long.
 * "Jon Stewart chokes up, gives angry speech to Congress" (CNN). Washington, June 11, 2019. Transcript 1, transcript 2.

 * The breathing problems started almost immediately. And they were told they weren't sick, they were crazy. And then, as the illnesses got worse and things became more apparent: "Well, okay, you're sick, but it's not from the pile." And then, when the science became irrefutable: "Okay, it's the pile, but this is a New York issue. I don't know if we have the money."

 * Why this bill isn't unanimous consent and a standalone issue is beyond my comprehension. And I have yet to hear a reasonable explanation for why. It will get stuck in some transportation bill or some appropriations bill and get sent over to the Senate, where a certain someone from the Senate will use it as a political football to get themselves maybe another new import tax on petroleum. Because that's what happened to us in 2015. And we won't allow it to happen again.

 * They responded in five seconds. They did their jobs, with courage, grace... tenacity, humility... Eighteen years later? Do yours!

In response to the PACT Act initially being held up in the Senate (2021)

 * I'm used to the cowardice; I've been here a long time. Senate's where accountability goes to die. These people don't care! They're never losing their jobs, they're never losing their healthcare [...] I'm used to all of it, but I am not used to the cruelty.

 * [The PACT Act] isn't a slush fund! You know what's a slush fund? The OCO -- the Overseas Contingency Operations Fund. 60 billion dollars, 70 billion dollars every year. On top of 500 billion dollars, 600 billion dollars, 700 billion dollars of a defense budget -- that's a slush fund. Unaccountable, no guardrails! Did Pat Toomey stand up and say "This is irresponsible! The guardrails!" No. Not one of 'em did. They vote for it year after year after year. You don't support the troops; you support the war machine! That's all you care about! [...] Boy, they haven't-- They haven't met a war they won't sign up for, and they haven't met a veteran they won't screw over! What the fuck are we?!

 * If this is "America First", then America is fucked.

The Problem with Jon Stewart (2021-2023)

 * [quotes by Jon Stewart unless otherwise noted]

 * When corporations fail, you pay for it. But when they succeed, it's theirs. They socialize their losses and privatize their gains.

 * Government picks winners and losers all the time.

 * Yes, we've lost the war on guns. Personally, I knew it was over after Sandy Hook. We had a chance to pick guns or Kindergarteners and we went with guns.

 * Fossil Fuels power our comfort and convenience. And the fact that they may also be the architect of our impending doom probably won't get us to change our ways. Truth is, we're not a "sacrifice for the greater good" kind of species. [...] We're not a "prevention" folk. We're an "angrily lash out at our lack of preparation in the middle of a preventable emergency" folk, while eating tacos stuffed inside of chalupas.

 * For however sincerely we want to reckon and listen, the truth is America has always prioritized white comfort over black survival. Black people have had to fight so hard for equality that they've been irreparably set back in the pursuit of equity. And any real attempt to... uh, repa-- reparat-- repair. A ton. Of that damage. [whispering] Reparation. [normal voice] Sets off white people's "they're coming for our shit" alarm. Which we would know ourselves, had we actually been listening.

 * Is a permanent underclass a necessity for American capitalism?

 * You think regular people get to surround themselves with a meat shield of henchmen to go to prison in their place?

2022 Mark Twain Prize Acceptance Speech

 * This is a wonderful award, to see all my friends here and all the people I've worked with through the years, it reminds me of just how many people I carried.

 * Black don't crack. But Jews... we age like avocados.

 * You're not your circumstances, you're not what happens to you, you're what you make of it.

 * If you like to do dumb shit -- which is something I like very much to do -- I cannot recommend more, creating a small child who also likes to do dumb shit. Because you can do the dumb shit and say "That's what he wanted!"

 * I carry around, always, a quote by Twain, it-- It just so happens that I am never without it. And it's about ideas, and the quote is: "The radical invents the views. But when he has worn them out the conservative adopts them." And I keep that with me as a reminder that, even for Twain, they're not all fucking gems.

 * What we do is an iterative business. It's a grind. It's work. The best amongst us just keeps at it.

 * It's not the Woke Police that are gonna be an existential threat to comedy. It's not the Fresh Prince, it's the Crown Prince. It's not the fragility of audiences, it's the fragility of leaders.

 * Comedy doesn't change the world, but it's a bell-weather. We're the banana peel in the coal mine. When a society is under threat, comedians are the ones who get sent away first. It's just a reminder that democracy is under threat. Authoritarians are the threat -- to comedy, to art, to music, to thought, to poetry, to progress, to all those things! It's never been-- All that shit, it's a red herring. It ain't the Pronoun Police, it's the Secret Police. It always has been, and it always will be. And this man's decapitated visage is a reminder to all of us that what we have is fragile and precious. And the way to guard against it isn't to change how audiences think, it's to change how leaders lead.

Quotes about Stewart

 * The set is a news desk, and the nice-looking man behind it seems... um, troubled. About his life, perhaps? About the news? A touch of indigestion? It's hard to tell, but it becomes clear—and quickly—that he is funny. And smart. Jon Stewart presides over Comedy Central's The Daily Show, a blessed wedding of performer and format. Free of the burden of a full stand-up monologue, Stewart is able to put all his energy and wit into the news and guest spots. The word energy is almost too strong. Much of Stewart's humor seems to spring from an underlying terrain of world-weariness. [...] Repeat viewing of Stewart's shows reveals good things you missed the first time—smallish matters of voice shading, inflections and gestures begun but not completed. If you're a latecomer to his charms, you'll wish your alleged friends had demanded that you start watching a lot sooner. I'd like to see everything he has ever done.

 * Stewart spent a couple of segments lecturing Paul Begala and me about how we were somehow “helping the politicians and the corporations,” a charge that baffled me then (I’ve never particularly liked either one), as it does now. Unlike most guests after an uncomfortable show, Stewart didn’t flee once it was over, but lingered backstage to press his point. With the cameras off, he dropped the sarcasm and the nastiness, but not the intensity. I can still picture him standing outside the makeup room, gesticulating as the rest of us tried to figure out what he was talking about. It was one of the weirdest things I have ever seen. Finally, I had to leave to make a dinner. Stewart shook my hand with what seemed like friendly sincerity and continued to lecture our staff. An hour later, one of my producers called me, sounding desperate. Stewart was still there, and still talking.

 * A goal of Colbert while working as a correspondent on "The Daily Show" — one of his "greatest joys" — was whether he could make Stewart laugh in the middle of a segment. [...] "I knew the piece was good if he couldn't look at me when we were at the desk together," Colbert recalls. "We did much (fewer) green screen segments then. The highlight was when we were covering the Democratic convention in 2004, and I did a piece on Obama being the son of a goat farmer and I said I was the son of an Appalachian turd miner. Jon couldn't look at me for the entire thing."
 * Stephen Colbert as quoted in

 * "After coming back to the show, I was shocked at how much thought and distillation he personally puts into the script," [Stephen Colbert] says, "that care and unbelievable work ethic, and ability to consume information, digest and distill a story. He's telling us that this is the mechanics of the human interaction, and this is the actual message of the story." Colbert says Stewart's intelligence (the host can read books and script pages at lightning speed) can't be overstated, and that the show's mojo comes from stories Stewart brings to light that the traditional media fail to report. "He's naming what seems most ridiculous about the news, which is the personalities and the news itself," Colbert says. "It's only the overt game that's being reported."
 * Stephen Colbert as quoted in

 * Now back to business as usual.
 * Jim Cramer during the opening of the first episode of Mad Money (2009-03-13) after his interview with Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.

 * Comedian Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show on Comedy Central, has been making waves with his nightly parody of the day's news. His straight-faced takeoffs of journalists and politicians often serve as biting indictments of official hypocrisy and media complicity.
 * Amy Goodman and David Goodman, Static: Government Liars, Media Cheerleaders, and the People Who Fight Back (2006)

 * My boss is like, if you took Willy Wonka, and mixed him with Hitler. He's got like — he's crazy like Willie Wonka and he's psycho like Hitler. But he doesn't have a mustache.

 * Has your boss ever poured scalding hot Celestial Seasonings Lemon Zinger on to your arm? It doesn't just burn, OK? It's also citrus, and the citrus stings. And then he filled the pockets of my jacket with cockroaches. I work for a child.
 * Ed Helms, The Daily Show: "American Resolutions: A Series of Human Interest Stories Used to Emotionally Manipulate You"

 * Judging solely by the amount of media attention it got, you'd think The Daily Show, when the vaunted Jon Stewart was host, was the most-watched show of the 21st Century. You'd be wrong. It rarely made the top 100 rated shows of the week. Yes, you heard that right. The Daily Show, even with Jon Stewart as host, routinely garnered fewer viewers than reruns of Family Guy on the Cartoon Network. Yet when Stuart spoke, the media listened, even though the people didn't.
 * Derek Hunter, Outrage, Inc.: How the Liberal Mob Ruined Science, Journalism, and Hollywood (2018, Harper Collins)

 * I think part of the reason The Problem with Jon Stewart feels out of touch is because we've outgrown him; the people who grew up watching him are done walking up to symptoms and are ready to identify and call out things like capitalism and neoliberalism. We're living in the world Jon Stewart created, but I think that he's got some catching up to do if he wants to find a place in it for himself.
 * Skip Intro, "Jon Stewart doesn't understand Capitalism | The Problem with Jon Stewart" (Apr 19, 2022)

 * Stephen Colbert says that for all of Jon Stewart's acumen when it comes to politics and comedic timing, "The Daily Show" host and managing editor has no problem going lowbrow. "He knows when to break the glass, if necessary," Colbert reasons.

 * I love Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report.
 * 2007 interview in Conversations with Bharati Mukherjee Edited by Bradley C. Edwards (2009)

 * And that is your tragedy, Jon. [imitating Stewart and affecting falsetto] Look at me! I'm a sad clown! I hate you! I need you! I hate you! I need you! I don't want you, but I need constant attention and reinforcement from you laughter!
 * John Oliver, The Daily Show: "81st Academy Awards"

 * In November, America elected a black man president after two disastrous terms of George W. Bush. Race was transcended. People were so angry that they tossed aside centuries-old prejudices. [...] Last night, America witnessed a non-comedian hosting the Oscars after two calamitous stints by you, Jon Stewart: The George W. Bush of Comedy. Jon, you angered the world so much they were willing to completely redefine their concept of what an Oscars host should be. And like a phoenix from the ashes of the two massive turds you laid on that stage, rose Hugh Jackman.

 * I think Stewart’s show demonstrated the decline and vacuity of contemporary comedy. I cannot stand that smug, snarky, superior tone. I hated the fact that young people were getting their news through that filter of sophomoric snark… I find nothing incisive in his work. As for his influence, if he helped produce the hackneyed polarisation of moral liberals versus evil conservatives, then he’s partly at fault for the political stalemate in the United States.
 * Camille Paglia, as quoted by Luke Morgan Britan, "Before Calling Taylor Swift A ‘Nazi Barbie’, Camille Paglia Laid Into Plenty Of Other Celebrities", NME.com, Dec 11, 2015; retrieved 15 September 2017

 * We’re living in a media landscape that seems to get more infantile and politically simple-minded all the time—-look at the huge popularity of Glenn Beck…and I saw someplace recently that Jon Stewart is now the most trusted man in America. The clowns seem to be taking over the circus.
 * Matt Wuerker Interview with Washington City Paper] (2010)

 * Before Mr. Stewart, we didn’t expect much from nightly political humor. Late-night monologues were at best funny diversions, at worst toothless jabs pandering to the easiest stereotypes. ... The Daily Show didn’t just offer insightful, cutting analysis, clever parody and often hard-hitting interviews with major newsmakers. For an entire generation, it became the news, except this report could withstand the disruption of the Internet far better than the old media. If anything, the web only made The Daily Show, with its short segments, more essential. Every time a political scandal exploded or a candidate made headlines or a cable fight went viral, the first thought for many viewers was: I can’t wait to see what Jon Stewart will say about this.

title: Jon Stewart


text:
Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Dee Lohan (born 2 July 1986) is an American actress and pop music singer.

Quotes

 * I knew I had a problem, and I couldn't admit it.
 * As quoted in "Confessions of a Teenage Movie Queen" in Vanity Fair (February 2006).

 * Don't ever say this to me, "Are you O.K.?" It's like "Yeah, motherfucker, I'm fine."
 * As quoted in "Confessions of a Teenage Movie Queen" in Vanity Fair (February 2006).

 * It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case.
 * As quoted in "Lindsay: "I Am Addicted to Alcohol and Drugs" at TMZ (23 August 2007).

Interview interview (2009)

 * Interviewed by Lauren Hutton in Interview magazine (January 2009)

 * You know what's hard? I want to give back. I want to do all the things that will make me feel fulfilled. But whenever I do those things, people think it's a press stunt or something. Because they do find me, and there's really no way of hiding from that. And the second that you complain about it, they say, "Well, this is what you wanted, so this is what you're going to get." That's all people see it as now. It's not, "No, I just want to have some time for myself." There are things I want to do, and people don't understand that. You know, my car accident that I got into, where I got my first charge, I wouldn't have been speeding up like I was if I didn't have people shoving cameras in my windows.

 * I just feel as though it's become a situation where people have manifested this caricature of who I am, and they act as if there's no real person inside of it. I mean, people really have come to believe-directors, producers, agents, whoever it may be-that I started in this because I wanted to be a celebrity. But that was never my intention.

 * I wanted to be a movie star. But movie stars are not what they used to be. When I was a kid, I thought movie stars were women and men who were in these great films that we still look at now...And people my age don't even know who those people are. I can't even have a conversation with most people of my generation about that, because they'd be like, "Okay, she's a freak..." And the worst part is, in terms of what people see of me, I have become this girl who just loves to be photographed, doesn't know how to focus, doesn't know how to work on set, just loves the attention, knows how to go out at night, knows how to party. And you know what? I was 20 years old. I never went to college. And I lived maybe six months out of my life like that, doing something wrong, and then I stopped. God forbid I should have ever learned my lesson. But at this point it's so hard for people to even believe that there was a lesson to be learned at all, because they just think I'm wrong. All these people think I'm never going to be right, because it's more interesting to fabricate this other girl. Who wants to read a tabloid story about a girl who is doing well?

 * I work just as hard as any other actress around my age, like Scarlett Johansson, but I just don't get the opportunities that they get because people are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life. But that doesn't mean it's going to last forever.

title: Lindsay Lohan


text:
Jessica Simpson

Jessica Ann Simpson (born July 10, 1980 in Abilene, Texas) is an American pop singer and actress who rose to fame in the late 1990s. She starred with her then-husband Nick Lachey in the MTV reality show Newlyweds, which occasionally featured her in "dumb blonde" moments, fueling some mockery by comedians. She is the older sister of Ashlee Simpson, another popular pop rock singer.

Quotes

 * Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it… it says "Chicken... by the Sea".
 * While eating "Chicken of the Sea" canned tuna
 * Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica, "Newlyweds Clean House" [1.01], 19 August 2003

Lyrics

 * A little bit is not that much to ask to make things right.
 * "A Little Bit", Irresistible.

 * The real me is a southern girl with her Levis on and an open heart. Wish I could save the world, like I was super girl.
 * "With You", In This Skin.

title: Jessica Simpson


text:
Talk:The Matrix (film)

Note on the reference to "Tasty Wheat": in The Matrix: Revolutions, there is a scene in which Morpheus, Trinity, and Seraph all chase after the Trainman. In one such scene at the second railwayt station (not the white tile one), they run past an billboard advertisment. This advertisment shows the text "Tasty Weete" I think. Perhaps the reference should be changed?
 * "Tasty Wheat" has been changed now, to "Tastee Wheat". ~ Kalki 07:00, 20 Jun 2004 (UTC)

Dodge Bullets
Doesn't that merit a mention? Dodging bullets and not having to?

A small modification
I've deleted "Trinity: Neo, no one has ever done anything like this. Neo: That's why it's going to work." from the dialogues, because it repeats at the very end, in "Tank: So what do you need? Besides a miracle. Neo: Guns. Lots of guns. Trinity: Neo, no one has ever done anything like this. Neo: That's why it's going to work."

Typo?
Towards the end of the "Dialogue" section, there's what looks like a small error: "Agent Brown: If, indeed, the insider has failed, they'll sever the connection as soon as possible. uUess..."

Should the last word be "Unless"?

220.239.146.60 13:42, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

Cleanup Notes
I am in the process of cleaning up this article (01 Aug 09). According to Wikipedia, this movie is approximately 140 minutes (almost 2.5 hours). As per WQ:Limits, that allows this article approximately 15 quotes. I will be as charitable as possible in trying to choose appropriate quotes based on the limits and all the Wikipolicies I have read.
 * I'm also bolding significant quotes: quotes that were either especially significant to the movie, somewhat notable in the real world due to the movie (eg., "Dodge this."), or are particularly quotable on their own (eg., "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."). Peace and Passion ("I'm listening....") 00:50, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * As of now there are 18 remaining quote "units" (i.e., quotes plus chunks of dialogue), not including taglines, as they don't fall under the same provisions for copyright. I estimated that 15 was fair for this article.  Of the 18, 2 are taglines incorporated into the script, which I believe makes them fair game.  That leaves us with 16, one above the value I estimated—I think this is safe for now.  Anyone, however, who wants to add a quote: be careful when adding quotes, and consider their importance to the film, their quotability outside the film, and their context (eg., does another one of the quotes basically say the same thing). Also, if you add quotes, you must strongly consider appropriately removing another quote.  Be especially careful with the dialogue section; I have only included sections of dialogue where the interplay of conversation is concise, meaningful, understandable and relevant--especially not dialogue wherein one of the lines would stand as a quote on its own.  Too often on Wikiquote there is dialogue of a mundane conversation (full of speech fillers, like uh-huh, yeah, ummm, etc.) with one line which is quotable.  I removed all dialogue which was redundant (i.e., having one quotable line within the dialogue was already quoted in this article). Peace and Passion ("I'm listening....") 01:37, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Trinity?
Quotes? Byu 16:22, 16 April 2011 (UTC)

More Cleanup
Since no one has done so for some time and there is a clear need, I'm going to take a stab at cleaning up this article. I am not planning to fully loq trim everything here, as I don't know that this article could be trimmed all the way to 14-15 quotes without eliminating crucial lines, and I believe this movie is culturally significant enough to merit an exception to the policy. That said, there are numerous cases of overquoting, duplicate quotes, and insignificant quotes (i.e. "Whoa" for Neo) that can be removed. I'm mainly going to focus on those changes to smooth out the article and avoid situations where several consecutive scenes are quoted in their entirety. Wolfson (talk) 19:33, 13 August 2013 (UTC)

Wikilinks
Kalki, while I understand your point that wikilinks are a standard part of most articles, the sheer number of links you're adding is clearly excessive. A few wikilinks that connect to key concepts which help illuminate the quote make sense, but not arbitrarily making every other word a link.

For example: the Neo quote "I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you." Links on words like "future" and "choice" may make sense, but do links to words like "know", "feel", "now", or "end" really add anything to the reading or understanding of the quote? I consider links like that as simply adding wikilinks for the sake of having links, and an excessive use of the concept. If you're going to revert their removal again, please at least go through and stick to links that are helpful and make sense.
 * This is a wiki project for the gathering of quotes of shows and works and people ABOUT various concepts — and I strongly believe that there are no concepts with developed pages which should be excluded from being linked by standard hypertext links because someone considers any links to such "trivial" concepts as Honesty, knowledge, love, truth, Time, thought, freedom, mind, change, world, rules, control, irony, slavery, prison, and belief "excessive". Too many links to the same concept in the same section would be excessive — but links within various sections of body text and captions are convenient and useful to those who wish to explore other expressions which people have made upon such concepts. To quote the above with links:
 * I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
 * One might not "need" wikilinks to adequately understand the quote — but I believe that one certainly does NOT understand this quote well IF one seeks to erect rules and controls borders and boundaries to the IDEAS which people can explore. So it goes… ⨀∴☥☮♥∵ॐ … Blessings. ~ ♞☤☮♌Kalki·†·⚓⊙☳☶⚡ 10:21, 27 June 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

title: Talk:The Matrix (film)


text:
Cult

In modern English, the term  has usually been used in reference to a social group that is defined by its unusual religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or by its common interest in a particular personality, object or goal. This sense of the term is controversial and it has divergent definitions both in popular culture and academia and it has also been an ongoing source of contention among scholars across several fields of study. It is usually considered pejorative.

Quotes

 * Alphabetized by author

 * Another term coined by Haack is Psychokulte (therapy cults), of which he distinguished two kinds: those with techniques which promise self-discovery or self-realization and establishments with therapies (Therapie-Institutionene)—Heelas's 'self-religions'. The followers of both types show the effects of Psychomutation, a distinct personality change (Haack, 1990a:191). Schneider (1995:189–190) lists organizations, such as Landmark Education, Verein zur Förderung der Psychologischen Menschenkenntnis (VPM), Scientology/Dianetics, Ontologische Einweihungsschule (Hannes Scholl), EAP and Die Bewegung (Silo) as examples of 'therapy cults'. These groups do not immediately suggest religion of Weltanschauung, but reveal ideological and religious elements on closer inspection. Their slogans are 'We have the saving principle' or 'We enable those who are able' and they offer Lebenshilfe (advice on how to live). Such advice is a commodity which is sold in very expensive seminars. The ideologies involved often lie in the grey areas between the humanities, psychotherapies, Lebenshilfe, 'mental hygiene' (Psychohygiene), and religion.

 * There was nothing special about our time with Andrew. We've been members in just another cultish group that make its members feel special. Our experiences are fundamentally no different from countless others in spiritual and political groups. We see clearly that corruption is difficult to avoid when a charismatic individual is given absolute power over a group of followers. All authoritarian groups have more or less the same dynamic. The emphasis on surrender, the initial happiness of merging into something bigger, the dogmatism, the rules and regulations, the suppression of doubts, it's the same everywhere.
 * Andre van der Braak, about how he and another former see their time with Andrew Cohen —

 * Years ago recruitment for cultic groups was far more obvious than today because extreme religious groups were easy to identify. They lived isolated from the general population, and the public had become aware of their deceptive recruiting techniques. Today many are attracted to organizations that are less overtly cultic, not overtly religious, and are often linked with the human potential movement, while others operate as businesses, with their tactics focused around financial success.

 * Another potent element of the new cult milieu was the therapy sect, which offered believers the chance to achieve their full human potential through personal growth and self-actualization by taking total responsibility for one's actions.

 * Religion, cult, there's no real definition of which is which. It's more like, 'if the shoe fits'. I personally define a 'cult' as any religion with fewer followers than has on Twitter. Also, Mormonism is secretive, and that's another trait I associate with cults. Catholics own their crazy. It's right on the table. Mormons are more like Fight Club.
 * Bill Maher, referring to the rules of Fight Club in Fight Club: "The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club." —

 * The difference between a cult and an established religion is sometimes about one generation.

 * If Jones' People's Temple wasn't a cult, then the term has no meaning.

 * After a decade of activity, the anti-cult movement had one significant accomplishment to its credit. It had succeeded in creating a pervasive negative image of the new religions and spreading a popular public prejudice against several groups which had become well known as "cults." However, it proved incapable of implementing any of its major program goals, which sought to severely regulate, inhibit the growth of, and eventually eliminate the cults altogether.
 * J. Gordon Melton, Encyclopedic handbook of cults in America. Garland Pub. p. 355.

 * Outsiders often criticize the extreme commitment of group members. But what is really happening is that leader and followers are conspiring to realize a vision that is falsified daily. For the cult is not paradise, and the leader is not God. Hence the follower is embattled; to squarely confront the many failings of the leader and the group is to call into question one's own great work. Only by daily recommitting himself can the follower continue to work toward his ultimate goal. Each follower works out a secret compromise, acknowledging some things while denying or distorting others. Clearly this is a high-risk strategy that may go awry.

 * I do not want this material to be considered any sort of mumbo jumbo. It is not a cult in the terms people often consider material that seems to come from a source beyond the individual who gives it. The designations spirit, and medium, and so forth, are ridiculous to begin with. You are simply using your inner senses. These senses are not magical, they certainly are not religious in any sense of the word, and I am not some degenerated secondary personality of Ruburt's. Nor will I be compared with some long-bearded, beady-eyed spirit sitting on cloud nine.

 * Whenever there is an absolute truth at stake, the manners become careless. This applies both to the owners as well as their opponents of that truth and to all people involved.
 * Dr. Paul Schnabel, Tussen stigma en charisma: nieuwe religieuze bewegingen en volksgezondheid (Between Stigma and Charisma: New Religious Movements and Mental Health) (1982), ISBN 90-6001-746-3 (Deventer, Van Loghum Slaterus), page 343 available on the internet

 * Cult leaders succeed in dominating their followers because they have mastered the cruel art of exploiting universal human dependency and attachment needs in others.

 * Some of these terms, including "cult" and "sect," have long traditions of use, stretching back to the centuries when Latin was the official language of scholars. But the meanings of words often change over time; and terms that once were neutral or simply descriptive sometimes take on harshly negative implications and potentially lose their original usefulness, including the two just mentioned. Other terms have been coined more recently to circumvent the stereotypes associated with older categories. Among this newer terminology are "outsider groups" and "New Religious Movements." Sometimes the newer nomenclature is useful despite certain limitations. "Marginal religious communities," for example, is a positional designation — not a qualitative judgment — implying a location on the margin or edge of mainstream religious groups. When using these terms, it is important to recognize that they are often loaded with powerful assumptions and implications.
 * (2003). Communities of Dissent: A History of Alternative Religions in America. Oxford; New York: Oxford University Press. p. xi.

title: Cult