text:
Divine Principle

The Divine Principle or Exposition of the Divine Principle (in Korean, Wolli Kangron) is the main theological textbook of the Unification Church. It was co-written by church founder Sun Myung Moon and early disciple Hyo Won Eu. It lays out the core of Unification theology, and is held to have the status of scripture by believers. Following the format of systematic theology, it includes [1] God's purpose in creating human beings, [2] the fall of man, and [3] redemption - the process through history by which God is working to remove the ill effects of the fall and restore humanity back to the relationship and position that God originally intended.

History of Christianity

 * Examine the history of Christianity. Professing the salvation of humankind, Christianity has expanded through a tumultuous history of two thousand years, extending its influence throughout the world in the present era. Yet what has become of the Christian spirit that once cast flames of life so brilliant that, despite the most brutal persecution by the Roman empire, Roman citizens were brought to their knees before the crucified Jesus? Medieval feudal society buried Christianity alive. Even though the Reformation raised high the torch of new life, its flame could not turn back the sweeping tide of darkness. When ecclesiastic love waned, when waves of capitalistic greed surged across Christian Europe, when starving masses cried out bitterly in the slums, the promise of their salvation came not from heaven but from the earth. Its name was communism. Christianity, though it professed the love of God, had degenerated into a dead body of clergy trailing empty slogans. It was then only natural that a banner of rebellion would be raised, arguing that a merciless God who would allow such suffering could not exist. Hence, modern materialism was born. Western society became a hotbed of materialism; it was the fertile soil in which communism flourished. Christianity lost the ability to equal the successes of either communism or materialism and failed to present the truth that could conquer their theories. Christians watched helplessly as these ideologies budded and thrived in their midst and expanded their influence all over the world. What a pity this is! What is more, although Christian doctrine teaches that all humanity descended from the same parents, many citizens of Christian nations who profess this doctrine will not even sit together with their brothers and sisters of different skin colors. This illustrates the actual situation of today's Christianity, which has lost much of the power to put the words of Jesus into practice. It has become a house of lifeless rituals, a whitewashed tomb.
 * Introduction, Divine Principle

Purpose of human life

 * Human beings are created to be the center of harmony of the whole cosmos. If Adam and Eve had attained perfection and united as husband and wife, it would have meant the joining into oneness of the two centers of the dual characteristics of all beings. Had Adam and Eve moved together in harmony and attained oneness, the whole cosmos with its dual characteristics would have danced in harmony. The place where Adam and Eve become perfectly one in heart and body as husband and wife is also the place where God, the subject partner giving love, and human beings, the object partners returning beauty, become united. This is the center of goodness where the purpose of creation is fulfilled. Here God, our Parent, draws near and abides within His perfected children and rests peacefully for eternity. This center of goodness is the object partner to God's eternal love, where God can be stimulated with joy for eternity. This is the place where the Word of God is incarnated and brought to fulfillment. It is the center of truth and the center of the original mind which guides us to pursue the purpose of creation.
 * Divine Principle, Chapter One, The Principle of Creation

Hell

 * It is not God who decides whether a person's spirit enters heaven or hell upon his death; it is decided by the spirit itself. Humans are created so that once they reach perfection they will fully breathe the love of God. Those who committed sinful deeds while on earth become crippled spirits who are incapable of fully breathing in the love of God. They find it agonizing to stand before God, the center of true love. Of their own will, they choose to dwell in hell, far removed from the love of God.
 * The Structure and Functions of the Spirit Self, Divine Principle, 1996, Chapter One, Section 6

The Kingdom of Heaven

 * Had Jesus completed his mission as the Messiah on earth, the Kingdom of Heaven on earth would have been established in his day. The Kingdom of Heaven in heaven would also have been realized at that time, once people of perfect character living in the Kingdom of Heaven on earth had passed into the spirit world as divine spirits. However, because Jesus died on the cross, the Kingdom of Heaven on earth was not realized. The earth never saw the appearance of people who had reached the level of a divine spirit. No one has ever become a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven in the spirit world, which was created as the home of divine spirits. Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven in heaven remains empty and incomplete.
 * The Kingdom of Heaven and Paradise, Divine Principle, 1996, Chapter 5, Section 2

Purpose of democracy

 * How can democracy accomplish its purpose? With the flow of history, humankind's spirituality has become enlightened due to the merit of the age in the providence of restoration. People's original minds respond to the providence and seek religion, often without their knowing why. Eventually, people will come to receive Christianity, which God is raising to be the highest religion. In this way, the world today is converging to form a single civilization based on Christian ideals. As history nears its consummation, the will of the people inclines toward Christian values. Democratic governments which abide by the will of the people also gradually become more Christian. Thus, when the Messiah returns to societies under the rule of democratic governments well-matured by the Christian spirit, he will be able to establish God's sovereignty upon the earth with the wholehearted support of the people. This will be the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. We need to understand that democracy was born to undermine satanic monopolies of power for the purpose of God's final providence to restore, by the will of the people, a heavenly sovereignty under the leadership of the returning Christ.
 * Principle of Restoration, Divine Principle

Structure of government

 * The universe, as we have seen, is patterned after the structure of a perfect human being. By the same token, the ideal world to be built by fully mature people is also to resemble the structure and functions of a perfect individual.10(cf. Creation 1.1; 1.2; 3.2) By analogy with the human body, whose organs function in accordance with the subtle commands of the brain, all the institutions of the ideal global society are to abide by the desires of God. Just as the commands of the brain are transmitted to every part of the body through the peripheral nervous system branching out from the spinal cord, in the ideal world God's guidance is conveyed to the entire society through Christ, who corresponds to the spinal cord, and God-loving leaders, who correspond to the peripheral nervous system. The peripheral nervous system branching out from the spinal cord corresponds to a nation's political parties. Thus, in the ideal world, people of God led by Christ will form organizations analogous to today's political parties... Therefore, Christ at the Second Advent will remedy the illness of the present political system that it may reflect God's design by restoring people's vertical relationship with God. This will unleash society's true potential.
 * Divine Principle

Unity of languages

 * If we are to realize the ideal world of one global family which can honor Christ at the Second Advent as our True Parent, surely our languages must be unified. As expressed in the account of the building of the Tower of Babel, chaos was brought to our languages when we exalted the will of Satan. The principle of restoration through indemnity requires that we participate in the construction of God's tower and the glorification of God's Will as the way to unify all languages. Based upon which language will all languages be unified? The answer to this question is obvious. Children should learn the language of their parents. If Christ does indeed return to the land of Korea, then he will certainly use the Korean language, which will then become the mother tongue for all humanity.
 * Divine Principle

Fascism

 * What, then, is fascism? Fascism denies the fundamental values of modern democracy, including respect for the individual and his basic rights, freedoms of speech, the press and association, and the parliamentary system. Race or nationality is the ultimate value, to be upheld by a strong nation-state. Individuals and institutions exist only for the benefit of the state. Under fascism, individuals cannot claim freedom as their inviolable right; they are to sacrifice their freedom in their duty to serve the state. The guiding political principle of fascism holds that all power and authority should be entrusted in one supreme leader rather than distributed among people. The personal will of the leader dictates the governing ideology for the entire nation. Mussolini in Italy, Hitler in Germany, and the leaders of Japan's militaristic government were dictators of the fascist type.
 * Divine Principle

Ideal economic system

 * The economic structure of the ideal society also resembles the structure of a healthy human body. Production, distribution and consumption should have an organic, interdependent relationship such as that which exists between the digestive, circulatory and metabolic systems. There should not be destructive competition due to overproduction; nor should there be excessive accumulation or overconsumption due to unfair distribution, which would be contrary to the welfare of all people. There should be adequate production of necessary and useful goods, fair distribution to supply what is sufficient for people's needs, and reasonable consumption in harmony with the purpose of the whole.
 * Divine Principle

Purpose of history

 * Third, by examining trends in the history of conflict, we can understand that human history is the history of the providence of restoration. Battles over property, territory and people have continued without interruption, expanding their scope in step with the progress of human society. The scale of these struggles has broadened from the family level to the levels of tribe, society, nation and world until today, when the democratic world and the communist world confront each other in a final conflict. In these Last Day s of human history, heavenly law has descended upon the earth in the name of democracy, bringing an end to the long phase of history in which people sought to obtain happiness by seizing property, land and people. At the conclusion of World War I, the defeated nations gave up their colonies. At the end of World War II, the victors voluntarily liberated their colonies and provided them with material aid. In recent years, the great powers have invited weak and tiny nations, some smaller than one of their own cities, to become member states of the United Nations, giving them equal rights and status in the brotherhood of nations. What form does this final war between democracy and communism take? It is primarily a war of ideologies. Indeed, this war will never truly cease unless a truth emerges which can completely overthrow the ideology of Marxism-Leninism that is threatening the modern world. Communist ideology negates religion and promotes the exclusive supremacy of science. Hence, the new truth which can reconcile religion and science will emerge and prevail over the communist ideology. It will bring about the unification of the communist and democratic worlds. The trend of the history of conflict thus confirms that human history is the providential history to restore the original, ideal world.
 * Divine Principle

The History of the Providence of Restoration and I

 * As an individual, each one of us is a product of the history of the providence of restoration. Hence, the person who is to accomplish the purpose of history is none other than I, myself. I must take up the cross of history and accept responsibility to fulfill its calling. To this end, I must fulfill in my lifetime (horizontally), through my efforts, the indemnity conditions which have accumulated through the long course of the providence of restoration (vertically). Only by doing this can I stand proudly as the fruit of history, the one whom God has eagerly sought throughout His providence. In other words, I must restore through indemnity, during my own generation, all the unaccomplished missions of past prophet s and saints who were called in their time to carry the cross of restoration. Otherwise, I cannot become the individual who completes the purpose of the providence of restoration. To become such an historical victor, I must understand clearly the Heart of God when He worked with past prophets and saints, the original purpose for which God called them, and the details of the providential missions which He entrusted to them. Yet there is no one among fallen humanity who can become such an historical victor by his efforts alone. For this reason, we must understand all these things through Christ at the Second Advent, who comes to fulfill the providence of restoration. Moreover, when we believe in him, become one with him, and attend him in his work, we can stand in the position of having fulfilled horizontally with him the vertical indemnity conditions in the history of the providence of restoration.  The path which all past saints walked as they strove to fulfill God's providential Will is the very path we must walk again today. Beyond that, we must continue on to the end of the path, even walking trails they left untrodden. Therefore, fallen people can never find the path that leads to life without understanding the particulars of the providence of restoration. Herein lies the reason why we must study the Principle of Restoration in detail.
 * Exposition of the Divine Principle

Indemnity

 * What, then, is the meaning of restoration through indemnity? When someone has lost his original position or state, he must make some condition to be restored to it. The making of such conditions of restitution is called indemnity. For example, to recover lost reputation, position or health, one must make the necessary effort or pay the due price. Suppose two people who once loved each other come to be on bad terms; they must make some condition of reconciliation before the love they previously enjoyed can be revived. In like manner, it is necessary for human beings who have fallen from God's grace into corruption to fulfill some condition before they can be restored to their true standing. We call this process of restoring the original position and state through making conditions restoration through indemnity, and we call the condition made a condition of indemnity. God's work to restore people to their true, unfallen state by having them fulfill indemnity conditions is called the providence of restoration through indemnity.
 * Exposition of the Divine Principle

Mission of Sun Myung Moon

 * With the fullness of time, God has sent one person to this earth to resolve the fundamental problems of human life and the universe. His name is Sun Myung Moon. For several decades he wandered through the spirit world so vast as to be beyond imagining. He trod a bloody path of suffering in search of the truth, passing through tribulations that God alone remembers. Since he understood that no one can find the ultimate truth to save humanity without first passing through the bitterest of trials, he fought alone against millions of devils, both in the spiritual and physical worlds, and triumphed over them all. Through intimate spiritual communion with God and by meeting with Jesus and many saints in Paradise, he brought to light all the secrets of Heaven.
 * Divine Principle (translated 1966), Introduction

About

 * To restart the process toward perfection, God has sent messiahs to earth who could restore the true state of humanity's relationship with God. Before that can happen, however, humans must perform good deeds that cancel the bad effects of sin. Unificationists call this "indemnity". Showing love and devotion to one's fellow humans, especially within families, helps pay this indemnity.
 * Daske, D. and Ashcraft, W. 2005, New Religious Movements, New York: New York University Press, ISBN 0814707025 p142.

 * When I came in the door to Little Angels in the morning, I was greeted with the most amazing feeling of grace and love from God. I don't know if I can really explain it, but it centers on the subtle difference between "I have to pay indemnity" because of guilt and fear and "I have to pay indemnity" because … someone has to do it. Because it has to get done, or the world will not progress toward the ideal. God is taking every opportunity to claim indemnity offerings and Father is doing his best to tell us how to make them (by completing the projects at hand, by prayer, by loving the people around us, etc.). And then, when we don't do as much as we might or should have been able to do, God and Father take the opportunity to take a tragic event like the death of Young Jin Nim and use it to make our back payment for us without accusation or condemnation.
 * Testimony about Young Jin Nim's Seunghwa, Anne Inoue, 1999.

 * In our Unification Church faith the most beautiful word is indemnity; through indemnity we can pay the debt of sin. You can think that no one else could stand such a burden of indemnity, so God is asking you to pay instead as His champion. You can accept it with a thankful heart. When you compare the time you spend without the person you loved with the millions of years your generations will live, your payment of indemnity is small in comparison to the blessing God will give you and your descendants.
 * The Importance of Prayer, Sun Myung Moon, April 15, 1979.

 * The movement's official doctrinal statement, and a part of the revelation, is the Divine Principle. Both an oral tradition and a written one and published in several versions, Divine Principle is the Completed Testament. The Rev. Moon claims to have come not to destroy or abrogate the Old and New Testaments, but to fulfill them-to "complete" them. To his Moonist followers, the Rev. Moon is primarily "true father," probably the Messiah, and only secondarily a theologian. In an effort to systematize Moon's teachings, several members of the Unification Church in Korea have put together a developing theological system in Divine Principle which is impressive in its imaginative nature, coherence, and consistency, if not in its Christian orthodoxy. As the most complete expression of Moonist teachings to date, Divine Principle is the basic text of the Unification Church. The two major divisions of the system are the doctrines of Creation and Restoration. There are many subsets to these major divisions, but Creation and Restoration are the foci for the Moonist theological system.
 * Korean Moon: Waxing of Waning?, Leo Sandon Jr., Theology Today, Vol 35, No 2, July 1978.

title: Divine Principle


text:
User:AurigaM36

Formerly User:Dave1989

My Favourite Quotes And Dialogs
Mr Collier:

From Little Britain
[Dialog]

Vicky Pollard
Mr Collier: Vicky, it’s been two weeks now and I still haven’t received your essay on Lord Kitchener.

Vicky: No because what happened was was I was going round Karl’s but then this whole fing happened because Shelley Todd who’s a bitch anyway has been completely going around saying that Destiny stole money out of Rochelle’s purse but I ain’t never not even spoken to Rochelle ‘cause she flicked ash into Michaela’s hair.

Mr Collier: Vicky, I’m not interested in that. I’m more interested in your coursework.

Vicky: No because what happened was was this whole fing happened what I don’t even know nuffin about because Ashley Cramer has been going around saying that Samantha’s brother smells of mud but anyway shut up I ain’t never even stole no car so shut up.

Mr Collier: Vicky, have you even started this essay?

Vicky: No but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah no but yeah but no because I’m not even going on the pill because Nadine reckons they stop you from getting pregnant.

Mr Collier: You know if I don’t get the essay by the end of this week I’m going to have to fail you?

Vicky: Yeah but Louise Farren emptied a whole bottle of Fanta into Shannon’s bag but anyway Luke reckons he fingered Emma Bateman in the language lab.

Mr Collier: Vicky, do you want to pass your GCSE?

Vicky: GSC what? Don’t go giving me evils.

[Vicky has walked out of the class and left the pram with her baby in behind] Teacher: Vicky...your baby.

Vicky Pollard: Uh? Oh no, you can keep it. I've got loads more at home anyway.

Lou and Andy
Lou:[looking up into the tree where Andy is sitting] Andy, how did you get up there?

Andy:I fell.

Lou:[Andy has just rolled all over his freshly-cemented patio that Lou has just done] Who did this?

Andy:A bird.

Lou: Are you sure this is the card you wanna send Declan for his birthday? Andy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [After buying the card] Andy: It's his birthday, it's not his bloody funeral!

Marjorie Dawes
And last but not least, Meera!

Meera:Exercise?

Marjorie Dawes:What? Sorry?

Meera:Exercise.

Marjorie Dawes:Do it again?

Meera:Oh, forget it.

Marjorie Dawes:Can't understand her, can you? Anyway, I think the most important thing you can do, is get a bit of exercise! Yeah?

Daffyd
Old Ma Evans lodger: Well, I seem to have passed your gay test, so I must be gay.

Daffyd: No, you are not a gay, I am gay. You're probably just a little bit poofy!

Daffyd: Ma. Da. There's something I need to tell you both. I am... [deep breath]

Father: Asthmatic?

Daffyd: No! I am.... a gay! Oh!

Mother: Very nice.

Father: Yeah, good for you, lad. Oh, it says here that the bucket had a chrome handle.

Daffyd: So you don't mind?

Father: No.

Daffyd: So you're not going disown me and cast me asunder?

Mother: Eh? Oh, no. To be honest darling, we did have an inkling. [washes Daffyd's gay clothes]

Father: So do you have a boyfriend then?

Daffyd: No.

Mother: Have you not had any arse action at all?

Daffyd: No, but I have been thinking about it which may shock you!

Mother: Well I must set you up with someone then.

Daffyd: That might be difficult as I am the only gay in the village.

Father: What about that young boy from the village, the blacksmith, he takes it up the chuff.

Daffyd: No thank you!

Mother: I know who's mad for cock! That boy, what's his name, Gay Aled!

Daffyd: Gay Aled is not gay!

Father: Your Uncle's had him. Apparently he's very into water sports!

Daffyd: Anyway, I was hoping we could invite the family over on Sunday and tell them, it's time they knew.

Mother: I don't think this Sunday's gonna be very good, your uncle's in San Fransico.

Daffyd: What about Aunty Sinead?

Mother: Oh no, she just stays in on a Sunday and eats minge.

Others
[At a bowling alley]

Dr Lawrence: [to Dr Beagrie] Of an evening, when it's still light, we encourage Anne to leave the hospital and work here. Watch this.

Anne: [On the phone] No, it's very very quiet today. [noticing the doctors] Oh, call you back later.

Dr Lawrence: Hello Anne.

Anne:: Eh eh ehhhhh!

[Emily and Florence arrive at the tennis courts for mixed doubles.]

Tennis player: Ah, we were expecting two ladies.

Florence: [turns to leave] Oh, sorry.

Emily: Yes, we are two ladies! [whispers to Florence] Florence, do as I do and watch how they don't suspect a thing. [Calling out] Ready, gentlemen!

Tennis player: Well, have you got any balls?

Emily: Oh no, we are ladies.

Tennis player: Tennis balls...

Emily: Oh sorry, silly me, I thought you meant bollocks.

Mr Hutton: Mrs DeVere! Sorry, Mrs DeVere

Bubbles DeVere: Call me Bubbles, everybody does!

Mr Hutton: Can I have a word?

Bubbles DeVere: Do you mind if we walk and talk, darling? I have an algae wrap at three.

Mr Hutton: Yeah it's really about this payment situation. You have been with us for five months now and we still haven't received anything.

Bubbles DeVere: That's terrible, terrible darling! It's outrageous! Has my husband still not sent the cheque?

Mr Hutton: No I'm afraid not, we can't seem to track him down.

Bubbles DeVere: Have you tried him on the Monte Carlo number, darling?

Mr Hutton: No, I don't have it.

Bubbles DeVere: Have you got a pen, darling?

Mr Hutton: Yeah. [pulls out pen and paper]

Bubbles DeVere: The number is 12...345..67..89. OK, darling? [begins to run away]

[both walk into room where a lady is getting a facial]

Bubbles DeVere: Hello Gita! My turn now darling! [pushes lady off bed]

Gita: No Miss Bubble, you next door!

Bubbles DeVere: Sorry darling! See you at dinner! [Points to Gita] Never, never, never let this girl go. Naughty! What she does with grape nuts is pure poetry.

[Bubbles runs into another room and Mr Hutton follows]

Mr Hutton: We need to resolve this now.

Bubbles DeVere: Very well Mr Hutton. Then we shall resolve it.

[Bubbles pushes Mr Hutton onto a bed, closes and locks the door]

Bubbles DeVere: Are you...a married man, Mr Hutton?

Mr Hutton: [looking uneasy] Yes I am.

Bubbles DeVere: And yet you allow yourself to be alone in a room with a rather beautiful woman. That's very dangereuse don't you think?

Mr Hutton: I just really need the cheque.

Bubbles DeVere: Very clever darling.

[Bubbles turns on some romantic music, removes her dress and stands naked in front of Mr Hutton.]

Bubbles DeVere: I'm sure we can come to some sort of...arrangment Mr Hutton.

[Mr Hutton looks disturbed as Bubbles tries to seduce him and puts his head between her breasts.]

Kenny's girlfriend: You did enjoy last night, didn't you?

Kenny: Yes I did, I thought the love-making was absolutely top notch.

Kenny's girlfriend: It's funny, I can't remember that part... I can't find any underwear, it keeps on going missing. You haven't seen any of it have you?

Kenny: Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around the eyes, look into my eyes, *snap* you're under. I have not been taking your underwear home, putting it on in my bedroom and then parading up and down in front of the mirror going [running his hands over his body] 'Oh, oh, oh, oh'. Three, two, one... *snap* You're back in the room.

Mike: Hey, you open for afternoon tea?

Ray McCooney:Maybe I am and maybe I'm not [plays tune on flute]

Mike:Oh, OK. [starts to walk out]

Ray McCooney:No, no, I am, I am, please, sit down. [shows them to a table]

Mother:Wow, isn't this an adorable place, Kimberly?

Kimberly:It smells funny in here!

Ray McCooney:I shall be back in a moment with the cake trolley. [puts his hand out and grabs the cake trolley]

Ray McCooney:Here I am with the cake trolley.

Mother:Mm, those look good, don't they honey?

Kimberly:I want the chocolate cake.

Mother:OK, OK, honey

Mother: [to Ray] Kimberly has a nut allergy. Do you know if the chocolate cake contains nuts?

Ray McCooney:Yeeeeees.

Kimberly:What, yes, you know, or yes, there are nuts?

Ray McCooney:Yeeeeees.

Mike:Well, which?

Ray McCooney:[picks up a piece of cake and puts it to his ear] Carrot cake, carrot cake, have ye any nuts? [listens]

Ray McCooney:The carrot cake contains? no nuts.

Ray McCooney:[picks up another piece of cake to his ear] Lemon drizzle cake, lemon drizzle cake, have ye any nuts? [listens]

Ray McCooney:The lemon drizzle cake contains... no nuts [plays flute]

Ray McCooney:No nuts.

Ray McCooney:[picks up chocolate cake to his ear] Chocolate cake, chocolate cake, have ye any nuts? [listens]

Ray McCooney:[to Mike] He wants to speak to you.

Mike:[takes cake, baffled, puts it to his ear and listens] Mike Kapalski?

Ray McCooney:[tax people have come for money] What if I give ye six magic beans?

Tax Woman:[rolls eyes] Probably wouldn't be interested

Ray McCooney:*Seven* magic beans?

TV Repairman: You said you had another TV for me to have a look at?

Ray McCooney: [Opens curtains in large window]]: Yeeesss, By day is bright, by night is as black as black man's cape.

'TV Repairman: You do know that is a window?

Ray: Yeeesss.

 * Ray McCooney:I am hard yet soft, I am coloured yet clear, I am fruity and sweet, I am jelly. What am I?

Ian Malcolm
[Quote]

 * That is one big pile of shit.

 * I'm always on the lookout for a future… ex-Mrs. Malcolm.

[as a Tyrannosaurus rex tears through a security fence to get to the tour cars.]
 * Boy, do I hate being right all the time

Dr. Alan Grant
[Quote] [Quote]
 * Bet you'll never look at birds the same way again.
 * [as a T. rex tears a Gallimimus out of a flock and savages it.]

 * T. Rex doesn't want to be fed, he wants to hunt. Can't just… suppress 65 million years of gut instinct.

[Dialog]

[Discussing the theme park (Jurassic park].

John Hammond: All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked.

Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.

King Kong
[Dialog]

[In the small movie theatre room where film-maker Carl Denham is previewing his latest project to his investors.]

 * Investor: Will there be boobies?
 * Carl Denham: [chuckles] Boobies?
 * Investor: Jigglies. Jiblonkas. Bazooms! In my experience, people only go to these films to observe the undraped form of the native girls.
 * Carl Denham: What are you, an idiot!? You think they asked DeMill if he'd waste his time on nudie shots? NO! They respected the filmmaker! They showed some class! Not that you'd know what that means, you cheap lowlife!

[Jack and Ann are in Ann's cabin on the way to Skull Island]

 * Jack Driscoll: [To Ann] I'm writing a play.
 * Ann Darrow: You're writing a play?
 * Jack Driscoll: I'm writing it for you.
 * Ann Darrow: Why would you do that?
 * Jack Driscoll: Isn't it obvious?
 * Ann Darrow: Not to me.

the1930s@googlemail.com

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

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text:
User:Alecmconroy

See me, under the same name, on the English Wikipedia.

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Soft redirect This user page can be found at User:TheJC on WikiPedia.

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text:
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Soft redirect This user talk page can be found at User talk:TheJC on WikiPedia.

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User talk:Mcduff

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 13:24, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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User talk:AurigaM36

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 13:24, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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User talk:Alecmconroy

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 13:25, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Alecmconroy


text:
User talk:Papathepreacher

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 13:25, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Papathepreacher


text:
User talk:Alex lbh~enwikiquote

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 13:25, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Alex lbh. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Alex lbh~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:17, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:41, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Alex lbh~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Alexlbh~enwikiquote

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 13:25, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Alexlbh. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Alexlbh~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:17, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:41, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Alexlbh~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Kumar wiki~enwikiquote

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 13:25, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Kumar wiki. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Kumar wiki~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:27, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:51, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Kumar wiki~enwikiquote


text:
Squidbillies

Squidbillies (2005–2021) is an American adult animated television series created by Jim Fortier and Dave Willis for Adult Swim.

This Show Is Called Squidbillies [1.1]

 * Narrator: That large building over there is Dan Halen Sheetrock. They specialize in sheetrock, sheetrock mud, sheetrock screws, pharmaceuticals, petroleum, global mass media, third-world covert military operations, and...
 * TV Announcer: ...the Baby Hammock!

Take This Job and Love It [1.2]

 * Early: I do apprecinate the generous offer, but knifery is the tool of the idiot. I listen to my gut, and my gut tells me that this ain't a fit, but my heart says this could work and gut's a damn moron; so they get to carryin' on, and then my brain chimes in and sayin' I got to try my hand at the fast sex-paced world of adult literature.

 * Dan Halen: So under experience you've listed here, on your hat-shaped resume, that you can: skin a buck, run a trout-line and that all your rowdy friends-
 * Early: Are comin' over tonight, yes sir.
 * Dan Halen: Early, you're the most impressive squid I've interviewed for this position. Let's talk briefly about your work ethic.
 * Early: Well I don't think ethnics do no work. I mean, that's they problem, really. If you ain't like me, go hang from a damn tree.
 * Dan Halen: Overt racial prejudice. Impressive, Early.

 * Early: What I gotta do?
 * Dan Halen: Well, you're my boss, and as CEO, you'll have certain responsibilities like showing up...and leaving...and accepting liability for...certain class action lawsuits that may, or may not, and in fact, currently are being levied against new products, such as...
 * TV Announcer: The Pocket Surgeon! Just scrape the rust from the collapsible tumor scoop and...
 * (Dan stops the commercial)
 * Dan Halen: Look, you won't have to know any of this stuff. The point is people are dumb, not like you.
 * Early: Is my mind goin on me or am I watching you jibber jabber like some sort of jibberty box. Jibber Jabber on! Jibber Jabber on!
 * Dan Halen: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just a brash intern. It won't happen again...sir.
 * Early: Well, damn. Now I feel bad. Tell you what, take the day off. Workin' with me, fire 'n ice.  I gotta warn ye! Fire 'n ice.

School Days, Fool Days [1.3]

 * Early: Today we's learnin' about rawks. They's all kinds of rawks. These [picks up rock] is rawks which you throw. These here [throws rock at Rusty] is rawks that you get hit with. And this, [pulls out Rusty's tooth] is a tooth. Now time for attendence. Rusty.
 * [silence]
 * Early: Rusty.
 * [silence]
 * Early: [grabs Rusty] Boy, do you wanna pass this class or what?
 * Rusty: Yes I do Daddy I'd like that very much.
 * Early: Then when I say Rusty, you say here. Rusty.
 * Rusty: ... Rusty.
 * Early: Ok. On to history. What just happened?
 * Rusty: ... I dunno.
 * Early: Hell I dunno either. Must be a repossessed memory. Damn you party liquor! [looks at liquor, which is actually a can of paint thinner, in contempt and starts to drink]

 * Early: Today we's going on a field trip. This here's a field. And you's goin' take a trip!
 * Rusty: Daddy I din know we had well.
 * Early: We don't. [Throws Rusty into a well. Rusty screams] If ya get out ya pass.

 * [Rusty enters covered in sewage]
 * Rusty: Did I pass?
 * Early: Pass what?
 * Rusty: The field trip!
 * Early: ............. Nope. Now clean yourself up you're going to a prom.

 * [at a dance in Early's house, Lil is dancing with Rusty]
 * Granny: Oh. Do you mind if I cut between you lovely couple?
 * Lil: Oh, I believe this young man is taken.
 * Granny: Oh, I just got sassed by a whore.
 * Lil: [takes out knife] Back off, bitch he is mine!
 * Granny: [takes out knife] Yeah, let's see what whore moves you got.
 * [They start having a fight. They then start making out]

 * Rusty: Ain't nothin' gonna stop me now but my innate inabilitry to progress conganacious thunk.
 * Early: Now where's that money check? Come to your daddy, come on!
 * Sheriff: Oh hell, Early, I gave that to Granny.
 * Early: What the hell?
 * Sheriff: Well, I mean, she said she was the principal.
 * Early: She was the damn tennis coach! What kind of damn- [The three are run over by a passing train]

Chalky Trouble [1.4]

 * Early: Nope, I don't need no internet. No sir. Not in my life.
 * Rusty: What's that, daddy?
 * Early: Rusty, what do you think of white people?
 * Rusty: Well, I... I reckon they OK. I'll like 'em ol' Doobie Brothers.
 * Early: [To Granny] He ain't ready.
 * Granny: That's not rightly fair, Early. We all of us love 'em Doobie Brothers.
 * Early: Yeah, I reckon you right. Damn them Doobies and they Chinese Grove!
 * Granny: Russell, you ready for the special night tonight?
 * Rusty: What we gonna do? Go down Atlanta, whip our shirts off and start a bunch of bullmess?
 * Early: Nope [spits]... funner than that.

 * Granny: Give us the strength to cleanse the earth of the milk/chalk scourge, so's to keep 'em away from me.
 * Early: Dump 'em on an island! Blow up the island! (Shoots his gun in the sky) Whoo!
 * Granny: Look ye upon this cash money, a symbol of the whites' power, how they jingulate their pockets full of metal-y money.
 * (Early pulls a water jug full of coins)
 * Early: Burn all the...metal-ly money.
 * Granny: Burn it now!
 * (Early tosses the jug in the fire)
 * Early: Whoo! Alright now, Granny, burn your money.
 * Granny: No thank you (replaces money under robe)... and these skis, tools of their wicked recreational activity.
 * Early: Chalk-man a' skiing on his white snow in his tightie whites, just like the white wing dove sing a song about what they singin'!
 * Granny: Whoo, baby, whoo, baby, whoo.
 * Rusty: Burn the damn skis!
 * Early: At a boy Rusty, burn them sum-bitches, embrace the hatred!
 * Rusty: ...and they live in houses, don't they daddy?
 * [Early stares at Rusty and contemplates]
 * Early: Burn the damn house!
 * Lil: (Sitting inside the burning house) Huh... I guess white people do live in houses.
 * Rusty: Hot damn! What about these trees over here daddy?
 * Early: Hmm? What about these trees granny?
 * Granny: No, the trees are fine.
 * [Early stares at Rusty and contemplates]
 * Early: Burn the damn trees!
 * Granny: Burn 'em!

 * (A figure in a pure white robe emerges from the woods)
 * Granny: Look everyone, it's the creature from the prophecy!
 * Sheriff: Nah it's just me. Help me Oobi Wan, you're my only hope. (Picks up Early and kisses him) For luck. Remember that? Get it? Star Wars? (All stare at the Sheriff) Ain't this a Sci-Fi convention?
 * Early: Enter the circle of fire and answer the inquisitation
 * Granny: Answer the inquisitation!
 * Early: Tell me sheriff, what do you, eh, what do you think of white people?
 * Sheriff: Eh they're all right I guess. I mean I like 'em Doobie Brothers.
 * Early: Doobies aside! Doobies has been disquackified, alright?
 * Sheriff: Actually Early I really don't mind whites so much. I mean some of my best friends are white. Like me, I'm white!
 * Early: You what to the what now!
 * Sheriff: Did I mention to you that boys. Hey look... See, white as a Vidalia onion and twice as sweet.
 * Granny: Oh no!
 * Early: Ohhh denial. Denial!! I have done been deceptified by a salesman!
 * Granny: Burn the sheriff!
 * (Rusty sets fire to the tip of the Sheriff's shoe; the Sheriff stomps it out)
 * Sheriff: Hey, hey, hey. Woah, woah. Is this what this is all about, a hate white rally?
 * Early: Well it don't have to be just whites. I mean we're all inclusive here... except for those damn whites.
 * Sheriff: Why do you squids hate whites so badly?
 * Early: Typical. Whitey needs an explanation for every damn thing.

 * (After ordering Rusty to set fire to the house earlier in the episode)
 * Early: What happened to the damn house?
 * Rusty: That there is a symbol of the evil white chalky man daddy.
 * Early: It's a symbol of where I keep my shit, son!

 * Granny: I'll tell you something and I'll say it right now with my mouth and it needs to be listended: Whites is too reflective, with their sheeny skin, beating sunlight into my eyes.
 * Early: Can't tell them apart. Looking like a bunch of lightbulbs with shoes on, all be-boppin' around all over the place.
 * Granny: Except for you sheriff, you one of the good'uns...
 * Early: Oh yeah, yeah, you one of the good ones.
 * Sheriff: Thank you ma'm.
 * Granny: [Whispers] 'Cause you got a gun.

 * Early: Now sheriff, unless you come up here to sex-atize, hump-ify or bang-ulate my grandma, then I suggest you turn your purty little whitey wagon around and get on back to chalky town.
 * Sheriff: I will Early, but before I go I'm going to tell you where society would be without the white man. Eli Whitney, the inventor of the cotton gin, a white man. How about Crawford Long? He discovered Ether, when he wasn't busy being white. And you know that sphinx and the ancient pyramids of Egypt? Who do you think built those Rusty?
 * Rusty: I don't know... chalk-casians?
 * Sheriff: Actually no but they were in charge probably. Any fans of basketball out there? Here's a name, Larry Bird, the inventor of the slam dunk. That's a signature white move. Look it up. Rusty, you know the rap music?
 * Rusty: I know the NWA. (sings) The police going straight from the underground. They don't like a brother 'cause hes...brown.
 * Sheriff: Well those N's wouldn't have any A at all, if it wasn't for the white police state. In fact, all music: rock, R&B, gospel, even reggae descended from, you guessed it, whites. So now what do ya think? How you like me now?
 * Rusty: What about slavery?
 * Sheriff: Who abolished it? A white man, thank you.
 * Rusty: But didn't y'all like whip 'em and stuff?
 * Sheriff: Nuh-uh-uh Rusty, if it weren't for us whites, your land right over here would be completely overrun by red Indians.
 * Early: Uh-uh! Hell no! Not this land, Red Man! (Starts shooting wildly into the woods)
 * Sheriff: ...and your granny over there? She'd be plunkin' her life's savin's into five dollar slots at a Cherokee casino and spa watchin' Jay Leno perform for two weeks this October, followed by The Beach Boys featuring Mike Love.
 * (Gunshot awakens grandma)
 * Granny: Silence the lies. Ooohh. Why do things have to change? We've been hatin' whites since Jesus was a junebug!
 * Sheriff: Granny, even he was a white man. Here, take a look at this novelty plastic Jesus. Go ahead, pull his sandle.
 * [Granny pulls and it makes a fart sound and says "Gotcha"]
 * Granny: Aw...
 * [Early, having finally emptied his shotgun, throws it into the woods]
 * Early: Now get on back to ye' teepees!
 * Sheriff: Folks, my point is this: Whites.

 * Sheriff: Early, ain't no whites ever bothered you. I guess you just hatin' for the sake of hatin'.
 * Early: Mmmm, it ain't that sheriff, it's something else. [Begins to daydream] She was my dream, my muse, a vision suitable for the wide screen format. I can still tast

Family Trouble [1.5]

 * Rusty: Daddy, I need to know once and for all...
 * Early: Aw, dammit, not this again! I told you boy, if your momma's white then that makes me a damn chalky lover. Now do I look like a chalky lover to you?!?
 * Rusty: Well I don't know daddy, you do drink alot.
 * Early: Yes I do... and I fight... but, some other crazy sum-bitch is the one what bangulated and inpregnified that white womern, not I!
 * Rusty: So you're saying my mama was white?
 * (Early stares at Rusty and contemplates)
 * Early: Wait a minute, what'd I say?

 * Early: [Daydreaming about Krystal] Your mama was a vision in alabaster, a white lily of the field, rich with scented pollen and the sweet odor of the Morning Mist. Diet Morning Mist actually, although sometimes she would drink the regular if they's out of the diet. She was enormous; but Lord, did I love her... for 32 franatic seconds. (Swings hat over head) Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! The lovin' was good!

 * [Showing Rusty the family photo album]
 * Krystal: Well, then there's one of me. (Turns page) Here's one of them, what you call, them Glamour Shots, what have you. (Turns page) What do you know, there's me! Nope, that's a bus.
 * Rusty: Am I in any of these pictures momma?
 * Krystal: Well, uh... well look at this one, I'm about eight months pregnant with you in this one.
 * Rusty: Ooh...
 * Krystal: Yeah, I sent that in to Spunk magazine. Fools rejected it. You'd print this, wouldn't you?

 * Rusty: My daddy said you was like a huge dollop of sour cream - rich and zesty, with a little bit of bite.
 * Krystal: How is your daddy?
 * Rusty: Ah he's good, he's good, just got out of prison not too long ago.
 * Krystal: No, I'm sorry - who, who's your daddy? Anyone I know?
 * Rusty: Uhh, Early Cuyler.
 * Krystal: Tall guy?
 * Rusty: Nope.
 * Krystal: Big belly?
 * Rusty: No, not the one.
 * Krystal: Kinda looks like Charlie Sheen?
 * Rusty: Not him either.
 * Krystal: Or is Charlie Sheen?
 * Rusty: Mmm no, not Charlie Sheen.
 * Krystal: Is he a football team?
 * Rusty: Nope.
 * Krystal: Is he the groundskeeping crew for the football team?
 * Rusty: No.
 * Krystal: Are you sure it's not Charlie Sheen?
 * Rusty: No momma! Early Cuyler's his name! About yay high. I've been told we look alike, espically around the eye region - same shape of eye, you know, right here.

 * Early: Howdy doody to you, Krystal. It's been many years - but you, you ain't moved a bit.

 * Doctor: Hmm now that's interesting.
 * Early: What?
 * (Doctor hits dead rabbit with a hammer)
 * Doctor: This rabbit's been hit by a hammer.

Office Politics Trouble [1.6]

 * Narrator: Early's tenure as CEO of Dan Halen International had not been long, but it had been distinguished. By drunkenness, hair-trigger violence, and a total lack of performance. I would call it a steady decline in performance, but that would imply that he performed at one point in time. In fact he had not. He was drunk.

 * Early: Allow me to explain the contamination process: pine cones go in here, party liquors come out here, and proceed to here (pointing at mouth); fights begin, fingerprints is took, days is lost, bail is made, court dates are ignored, cycle is repeated.

 * Early: Aw hell, that's the office! I can't believe I have to go into the office on a Wednesday! Them people can't wipe they ass without me!

 * Early: Howdy doody, Donna, nice ass this morning, yeah! You wearing panties?
 * Donna: Actually, I need to get off here...
 * Early: Steve, big dog! Here's the pot I've been growin' on my property. See if this don't help wit' your wife bitchin' and all that mess!
 * Steve: Not here, man...
 * Early: Pine cone liquor? Anybody? Well then...how 'bout a fried possum pecker? Uh oh! [belches]

 * Early: See if that sumbitch'll fax now.
 * Glenn: It never was able to fax. It's a coffee maker.
 * Early: (long pause) You dumbass, you can't fax coffee! Coffee don't fax worth a damn. Every time the rain hits it'll run. Damn you uhh dumb sumbitch.

 * Early: What did I tell you about drinking underneath the age?

 * Rusty: You said if I could afford to bring back enough  for you then you don't care what I do and It's my body and I can kill it however I want to and America's about freedom

 * Early: Son, there's every chance in the world I was drunk when I said that, and it's your welfare I care about.  You know, that check?  Did it come today?

Government Brain Voodoo Trouble

 * Therapist: Alright, look. I want you to take all those things that are eating away, weighing you down inside, and I want you to pull them all out... and scream them out at the top of your lungs. Sheriff?
 * Sheriff: Who, me?
 * Therapist: Yeah, just cut loose. I mean, just get it all off your chest. This is a safe haven for both of you gentlemen.
 * Sheriff: Okay. (Shuffles to edge of cliff) Well, you see... Early... well, he don't respect...
 * Early: Are you done? Everybody stand back, it's my turn.
 * Sheriff: No...
 * Early: Nyuh huh, I just called it. (Begins to nudge the Sheriff out of the way)
 * Sheriff: (Kicks Early away) Don't you push me! You always push me into positions I don't like! I'm the law! And you break the law and you still expect me to be your friend? How can I be who I am and still be in a relationship with you! It's always about you! You think you're the center of the universe and we all...
 * [Cut to several hours later, sunset]
 * Sheriff: ...moved the show to Friday, head-to-head with CSI? Come on! You've got to give a show time to find an audience...
 * [Cut to several hours later, night has fallen]
 * Sheriff: ...hell, you know he can act! He played Doogie Howser for seven seasons!
 * Therapist: (Claps) Excellent work gentlemen, excellent. (Looks at watch, begins to back away) Hey, ah, I think this is about as good as it gets, guys...
 * Sheriff: Naw! Naw! Without us they have no network...
 * [Cut to serveral hours later, sunrise]
 * Sheriff: ...often wondered if I even do have a pair! Yes, of testicles! (Grabs crotch) I've never seen them, no! And you dressed me in chiffon! Pretty, pretty chiffon! Well, guess what!  I think I'm pregnant... again!  Thanks a lot, mama! (Whips off shirt and throws it off the cliff) Whew, well, that felt pretty good.

 * Therapist: (Begins to back away) I, I really need to, um, sorta wrap this thing up.
 * Early: Wait a minute! Ain't I gonna get to yell nothin'?
 * Therapist: Well, (sighs) sure Early... go ahead.
 * Early: Whoo! Gimme back my bullets! Ooh, that smell! What the hell is that smell? (Holds up lighter) Whoo!
 * Therapist: Well, um... do you have any concerns of not really a Skynyrd-deep cut?
 * Early: Uh, yeah, something has been kinda gnawing at me. Stand back. (Yells off cliff) Show me them titties!
 * Sheriff: Are you talkin' to my mama?
 * Early: If she'll do it! Will she do it?

 * Therapist: I'm not a therapist. I'm The Rapist.

Butt Trouble

 * Granny: Don't you dare hurt him!
 * Early: Oh, and what's your saggy mouth gunna say about it?
 * Granny: Ablomandelebicus, Pentoculus, Benturpenoise, Farntormion, Crisco, Dophenecta, Glabbaflontonion, Smectarufus, Fontanox, Chicken Dance, Trenoctor, Pontallafamarion, Tudonox, Mellicanisis!
 * [the walls of the house open up and Earlie is struck by lightning]
 * Early: You lucky bitch! That is the one thing you coulda said.
 * Granny: Yeah okay.
 * Early: One o' these days, you ain't gon' remember that freaky word. I'll be around!
 * Granny: Why don't you take that weak shit to the park? Where maybe the squirrels'll care.

 * Sheriff: Early, it's my job to protect and serve all forms of life, even the unhatched. Every American has the right to life!
 * Rusty: Even that crazy bitch in Houston what killed all them cats in the bathtub?
 * Sheriff: Well yeah, she should die, but I'm talking about the unborn. Inside that egg is a beatin' heart; a soul, this small. And uh, while I don't understand how Rusty might have conceived-
 * Early: Diplarobosomosexualosmosis, right down 'ere in his buttcrack.
 * Sheriff: Alright, alright, whatever, is that how he did it? My point is, this is a life. And even though you don't love it, you don't have any money, and you won't give it any opportunities, this here egg could grow up to be president. Or find the cure for homosexuality! waiterminute, hell, even become the next Tom T. Hall!
 * Early: So whatcher sayin' is uh, that my grandbaby rightchere might someday grow up to be the gay president of Tom T. Hall? Outstandiner than hell.

 * Early: Fruit don't talk, fruit just listens... and waits.
 * Granny[after being shot by Rusty}: Jesus! I've been filled by your spirit! Oh no wait a minute I thinks that's a bullet. I'm comin' Jesus.

 * Rusty: I'm sorry Granny you alright?

 * Granny: Aaaah! A Talkin' honeydew! It's the apocalypse!"                         :
 * Early: "I'm bout ta slap ya lips!"
 * Granny "Did one of you assholes just shoot me?!"

Double Truckin' the Tricky Two

 * Early: Aight now, ya'll bow yer heads.  Lord...(Rusty blares out Electronia music and begins dancing with glowsticks)  Russell, kindly turn down the electronica. (Rusty turns off music) Lord, please allow these scratched lottery tickets with their slivery seasonings to nourish our bodies as they were unable to do the same to our wallets.  And thank ya fer the untimely frost which clamed my bananer orchard.  Oh, I was a fool ta plant bananers on a mountain!  You made sure of that.  So, in short, thanks for nothin'.
 * Lil: Ain't you gonna thank him fer that truck-boat-truck of yers?
 * Early: You silly bitch!  Don't be tellin' him 'bout my truck-boat-truck!
 * Rusty: But, Daddy, you tell everybody 'bout that truck-boat-truck.  That's yer pride and joy.
 * Early: 'Cause its bad-ass is why!  Check out this mess!
 * (cuts to Early spinning the tires of a monster truck)
 * Early: Listen to that 450 big block!  Wahow!
 * (engine explodes)

Swayze Crazy

 * Lil: That ain't Patrick Swayze.
 * Granny: He is if I have enough cold beer.
 * Early: Patrick, I know you must get this all the time, but if it wouldn't be too much trouble for ya, would you please drop a double duce ass whoopin' on my boy.
 * Patrick Swayze: I'm from texas... I ride horses.

Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble

 * Early: "I ain't goin' no where.....cept' hell.  And I'm takin' you with me."

 * Early: Don't time fly when you're drunk as hell!

 * Early: Oh Lord who done made all creatures great and small in his own image: Did you make 'em fine-ass-soundin' speakers over there what would sound gooder than hell comin' out of the back of my truck-boat-truck? Well if you don't want me to jimmy-jack 'em sweet tweeters you best give me a sign...
 * (Early rips off a sticker reading "EARLY CUYLER / DO NOT TOUCH!")
 * Early: A new sign - I done seen that'n.

 * (Early awakens from a coma to the sound of a life support machine. He opens his eyes to see his son Rusty standing over him saying "Boop... boop... boop...")
 * Rusty: Y'all hear that? That's what it'd sound like if we had insurance.

 * Early: Yes granny - I seen the light. Like a DUI roadblock in the sky.  But I pulled a U-ie and hauled ass through the woods! And now my life has purpose. Goodbye party liquor! Gunnery, you have a good'un! Masturbation... uh... let's just call it a hiatus. From now on, I am a bushhog on the front-end loader of the Lord!

 * Early: (In a strip club) Yes darlin', your chest is full and heaving. But what about the heart that lays beneath them puppies? Look here (pulls out a religious tract)...  I want you to read this here literature.
 * (Stripper reaches to take the tract; Early jerks it away)
 * Early: Nope! Pick it up with your butt cheeks!

 * Granny: Will you keep it down for cryin' out loud? I'm trying to watch my stories. (Stares at a butter churn which has replaced the TV) And I'm havin' a really hard time. Stories?
 * Early: Nuh-uh. I done give away the story box. From now on we gonna enjoy this classic butter churn. (Begins churning)
 * Granny: (Looks around) Oh where's the TV? 'Cause now I'm pissed.
 * Early: Come on now, everybody take a turn! Idle hands is the devil's ding-a-ling!

 * Early: I'll be here for 40 days and 40 nights if thats what it takes to keep these commandments on display! What's next, they're goin' to try to take it out of our schools? Bullmess! I am against it!
 * (Shows Early later in the same place)
 * Early: I'm against mens kissin mens, for any reason, but when womerns do it... [coughs]... That, uh, that seems alright. Uhh, any womerns here willing to make out with another woman...
 * (Shows Early even later while still in the same place)
 * Early: I'm against all digits below and above the number 9. They, they all blasphemous. Uhh, and Nitrogen, 'cause you know it was brought here in ships by space Jews! Hell yeah, you know the ones.

Meth O.D. to My Madness

 * Early: Can't take the pee, get out the pee-ery!

 * Early: How'd a hog, what ain't got no money, get money to buy damn drugs, Lil!

 * Early: Is your hog on drugs? How would you know? How could you tell? Look for these here warnin' signs.  Sudden weight loss.  Euphoria leadin' to paranoia.  Stealitization of your thangs.  And jibbery-style oinkery what make no sense a 'tall.  Warn your hog about the dangers of meth a 'fore it's too damn late.  I'm Early Cuyler and this concludes my court-ordered community service.

Terminus Trouble

 * Sheriff: Looks like they found out your name wasn't Awesome Bill from Dawsonville.
 * Early: Well yeah it is.
 * Sheriff: ... No. Early, it's not.
 * Early: Damnit to hell you know that too?

 * Sheriff: Well, here we are! Terminus, capital of the dirty south. Rising like a phoenix from the ashes of the civil war. Y'all recongnize this place here?
 * Rusty: Wait a minute, this the place where Kenny Rogers shot that scene with the kids of Six Pack, ain't it?
 * Sheriff: 1982! The coward of the county's own self stood right here!

:
 * Sheriff: Stone Mountain. World's most appropriately named mountain in the South East. And look carved there on the side, the four horseman of the confederacy. Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, and Pacman!
 * Early: A rebel's hero. Come up to Gettysburg to kick some damn ass! If it weren't for Pacman, we might'a lost the damn war!

Early: Take that! You other inanimate... sales items!

 * Judge:Counselour approach the bench...your lookin' at an uphill battle here, I mean he did look at him crossways, and this is Georgia, I mean, we are still very backwards, in many ways.

A Sober Sunday
Dan Halen: Jesus loves you. Why doesn't the government?

Rebel Without a Claus

 * Early: (on Rudolph's head) Check this out--a bonafide 8-point. I'm gonna mount it on my toilet.
 * Santa: (tied to a chair) He was so rare.
 * Early: He's about to be medium-rare.

 * Santa: What could you possibly want from me?
 * Early: Oh, I think you know what I want, Santy Claus.
 * Santa: Cuyler, it's impossible...
 * Early: I only ever asked ya for one thing.
 * Santa: I just...I can't do it.
 * Early: (jumping onto Santa's beard) Damn it, I been a good boy! Now how many years I gotta wait? I want me the greatest gift of all!
 * Santa: I won't bring you the still-beating heart of Jeff Gordon! All right? I've said it!
 * Early: Well...Nicholas, I'm disappointed. We'll do it this way--Russell, get me my straight razor.
 * Santa: No, no, please, we don't have to go this way.
 * Early: Okay, okay, you right.
 * Santa: Thank you.
 * Early: I'm thinkin' the rusty fish scaler instead.

 * Head Elf: Dispatch the Silent Knights!

 * Elves: (disguised as carolers in a manger, singing) Fall on your knees...
 * (They pull out ninja weapons)
 * Elf: I said fall on your knees, you son-of-a-bitch!

"'Early"': What the- "'Granny"':It's a trap!

 * Santa: What are you going to do to me?
 * Early: You ever see the movie Saw II?
 * Santa: Oh no, oh no, please, please...
 * Early: No? Me, neither.

 * Early: I done tell you once, you son-of-a-bitch, I'm the best that's ever been!
 * Santa: What?
 * Rusty: Fire in the mountain, run boys run!

Beast Implants

 * Early: Come on, man. We was just teasin' with the government.
 * Granny: So, Medicare ain't gonna spring for no fake funbags?
 * Early: Medicare.  Medicare don't care.  Medicaint!
 * Early: We wait, actually, you wait (starts sinking into the floor of his truck, a smaller truck-boat-truck emerges from beneath the truck) Escape pod only holds one, fight the good fight son! (mini truck-boat-truck horn plays 'La Cucaracha')

Wing Nut

 * Dan Halen: Science, you cheap whore.

 * Dan Halen: Go behind the Dumpster and mate the tangy with the mild.
 * Rusty: Well, how I go about doing that?
 * Dan Halen: Tie Tangy up, have a black chicken fuck it in a fake rape scenario while Mild watches helpless because that's what gets him off.

Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto Is "Wisdom, Justice and Moderation"

 * Rusty: Hail Satan, my dark lord and master.

 * Satan: I'm gonna own you all, just like I own this little bitch here! Come on. Come to daddy.
 * Rusty: Wait a minute, now. I thought you said this was free. I didn't have to do nuthin' for it.
 * Satan: Listen to the little whiny bitch. Boy, he's really gonna hate it when he gets to Hell.
 * Rusty: I don't wanna go to hell! Come on, do something, Daddy!
 * Satan: You know, it's actually not much worse than your current situation. I mean, yeah, we have really high taxes, but hey, you earn real money at least. I mean, we do have jobs down there. It's not everything you hear.
 * Rusty: Oh, really?
 * Satan: Hahaha, no! You are raped by fire all day! And the days are longer down there! Oh, there's plenty to drink. You know what you drink? FIRE, motherstuffer, that's what! Dinner? That's a root that makes you thirsty for more flippin' fire! You understand? It's ridiculous what I've set up down there!

 * Rusty: Cmon Roy Clark I summon you from hell.
 * Early: Banjo is dated! Just cuz we live up here we supposed to like banjo!? How very damn trite!

Earth Worst

 * Early: (while Sheriff and the hippies "copulate") Damn! Smells like somebody took a massive dump on a huge pile of crap and soaked the whole thing in a jug of week-old farts and lit the whole caboodle on fire.
 * Rusty: Yeah, just like you done on the last Fourth of July, Daddy.
 * Early: I sure did. I support the troops.

The Good One

 * Rusty: Oh my God! It's Ridley Scott's "Alien"! Look at it! Oh my God! Oh my God!
 * Early: No, son, it ain't Ridley Scott's "Alien". It's worse.

 * Early: (taking Lil's babies to the "movies") Alright. C'mon y'all. C'mon. Step right in to the movies. Yeah, see what Hollyweird has cooked up next. Getcha good seat now. You don't wanna miss them previews.
 * Rusty: Daddy, this ain't the movies.
 * Early: No movies. Lake boat.

 * Early: I have dubbed thee Herschel Walker Cuyler Them Dawgs is Hell Don’t They!

 * Early: "I have re-evalutated the saturation, and I have convoluted that you ain't wild... You're mild."

The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's Dilemma
Early: Y'all bow your damn heads! We thank you, Lord, for mans like myself, males of the masculine variety, winners all of us. And we thank you for the womerns too, and how you made them out of a part of a man that he don't never need nor want, to live by our rules and our pleasures. [chomps] The chicken is good. Amen.

Tuscaloosa Dumpling

 * Early: Look at me Granny, I'm goin to get me a job and respect from my peers just because I say so!

 * Granny: Oh rusty your so stupid and sweet"

 * Early: You got to earn this, boy! You understand me?

 * Rusty: I reckon I don't never understand you.

 * Early: And I don't prefer that you do! All my musins and my ramblins.

Armageddon It On!

 * Early: War, Famine, Death... and grasshoppers. Looks like one just dont quite belong does it?

 * Early: Mute yer wooo's boy.....there's a seven headed beast afoot."

 * Santa: Okay, this is Big Crimson Daddy. Stop production on all sex toys immediately.
 * Elf: We're... everything?
 * Santa: Uh... I could maybe fold the anal beads team into yo-yos, but... but no vibrators.
 * Elf 2: Can't we just call them "back massagers"?
 * Santa: No... yes. Yes, we can make that work. I'll call Sharper Image.
 * Elf 3: What about these, Santa?
 * Santa: The Kalishnakovs? With the Drum-Triber air sight and the fixed stock... oh, God, that's a nice weapon... uh... let me hold off on that one.

 * Dan Halen: I have to say it was all worth it! Screw every last one of you!

 * Reverend: Who even cares? Life is merely a fantasy draped in confusion. The curtain is yanked back from the charade!
 * Early: Would you grab my skull bong, from the reverend please?

Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen

 * Melissa: We caught up with Halen in his inground pool, inexplicably built in the middle of a giant lake, which is itself a giant aboveground pool.

 * Melissa: Mr. Halen, take a look at this. (Turns on TV showing a police riot) The Chicago Democratic Convention in 1968.
 * Dan Halen: Ah, the '60s. I'll never forget them.
 * Melissa: I believe that's you in the upper-left corner hitting someone with a chain.
 * Dan Halen: (laughing) I remem-- I remember I made that guy taste the chain. "Taste the chain," I said again and again, long after he was incapable of tasting anything.
 * Melissa: We found this in the archives after the invasion of Poland. (Plays stock footage of Halen alongside Adolf Hitler, saluting in full uniform and shouting, "Heil Hitler! Sieg Heil!")
 * Dan Halen: We belonged to the same gym. I suppose you'll take that image out of context and make it into something.
 * Melissa: Here you are in Berlin in 1926.
 * Dan Halen: So I used to be a transvestite cabaret host. You have a point with this?
 * Melissa: According to our research, Dan Halen has apparently existed throughout recorded history.
 * Dan Halen: (against a montage featuring him in a direct capacity, starting with...) Everyone tortured political prisoners during the medieval era. (Atop a Mayan pyramid, pulling out a heart) This sacrifice led to plenty of rain. The maize crop that year was wonderful. (At the feet of the Crucifixion, wooden hammer in hand) I was taking the nail out. I was trying to help the man. (Cave painting of a body struck by three arrows and Halen with lit torch, dragging woman by the hair) Well, it's not like I invented fire. (As a monk holding a rat over a body) So I spread some of the Black Plague. (Whipping Egyptian slaves) Those Egyptians were trying to steal precious artifacts from the British museum. (Atop a unicorn, close to a Tyrannosaurus) Well, that-- that was just an accident.
 * Melissa: Mr. Halen, these pictures prove you're tens of thousands of years old.
 * Dan Halen: Melissa...
 * Melissa: What do you say to these charges?
 * Dan Halen: I don't recall.
 * Melissa: You don't recall that you're a living embodiment of evil?
 * Dan Halen: Uh, no. No, I don't recall that.
 * Melissa: A plague on humanity from the beginning of time?
 * Dan Halen: Mmm...no. No, I don't recall.
 * Melissa: We have film evidence. We have pictures.
 * Dan Halen: Come on!
 * Melissa: What could you possibly say to these charges, Mr. Halen?
 * Dan Halen: I'm sorry, but I'm not equipped to reach a conclusion regarding that assessment at this time. And what's more, let me add that I will explode your head for saying that.
 * Melissa: Mr. Hal... (Her head explodes)
 * Dan Halen: Yes, there's no such thing as a free necklace, muckraker.

Flight of the Deep Fried Pine Booby
Early: Granny, that which you babble on makes no damn sense to anybody

An Officer and a Dental Dam

 * Dan Halen: I should have put it together. The copious references to "Nature Boy" Ric Flair and former Black Crowes bassist Johnny Colt. Hell, Halen, they're written on waffle bar napkins. Where was my analytical mind?!

The Okaleechee Dam Jam

 * Early: Hell yeah. You stepped up.  You handled your business!

Lerm [4.1]

 * Lerm: Death to America!

The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube [4.2]

 * Early: Listen here. Readings don't never not done nothing for not NOBODY!

 * Granny: I think you mean 'not nonebody'.

 * Early: Excuse me, not nonebody. Never not no one, didn't about no reason, not never, and by God they never not ain't gonna will!

The Big Gay Throwdown [4.6]

 * Sheriff: You're under arrest for entrapment...of my heart."

 * Earlie Cuyler: "You hate what you fear and, you fear what you don't understand.

God's Bro [4.8]

 * Dan Halen: Do you think this is the only illegal thing I have to do today?

 * Dan Halen: Allow me to pose a hypothesis. Say, hypothetically, I... slayed a prostitute during an 8-Ball fuelled weekend of debauchery.  I know, it sounds silly but bear with me.  Would this hole in space-time be a good place for such a hypothetical and now very lifeless body?

 * Dan Halen: I've tailored your film to appeal to the local populous... as they drag their jaws through the street like common simians.

 * Dr. Horny: I'm Doctor Horny, and you know what that means; I love poon-tang... but enough about your Mom!

Young, Dumb and Full of Gums [5.4]

 * Early: I like the way the tiny food bits mix with my spit, and get all soft so I can swallow em down my neck tube.

Frivolacious Squidigation [5.6]

 * Granny: A fool and his money...
 * Earlie Cuyler: Together again!

This Show Was Called Squidbillies [13.10]

 * Narrator: And so Rusty moved with Tammy and Macho Man to Elberton, thus hopefully breaking the cycle of poverty and abuse. Early would swear to exact his revenge, but like many things in Early's life, he never followed through, deeming Elberton too close to the edge of the flat earth and not worth scaling an ice wall to tangle with dragons. This show...was called Squidbillies.

title: Squidbillies


text:
User talk:68.5.204.32

- InvisibleSun 14:02, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:68.5.204.32


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Christopher Oldfield

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: delete. — LrdChaos 15:42, 23 June 2006 (UTC)

Christopher Oldfield
Notability not demonstrated. Wikipedia link leads to nonexistent site (quite a trend lately for these vanity pages). - InvisibleSun 03:02, 9 June 2006 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: delete (four votes to delete, no dissent). —LrdChaos 15:42, 23 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete. Harking to Mr. Oldfield's words, I'm forcing User:Telracs, the creator of this article, "to become more than just [his] words and his intentions", and have posted a vanity-warn on this talk page to ask either for notability evidence or a wish to move this article to his user page. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 05:19, 9 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete, concur with InvisibleSun. ~ UDScott 13:03, 9 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete. Non-notable student, vanity page. —LrdChaos 19:58, 9 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete. 121a0012 20:34, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/David Epstein

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: delete. — LrdChaos 16:17, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

David Epstein
Notability not demonstrated. All the links are bogus. - InvisibleSun 20:18, 10 June 2006 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: delete (four explicit votes to delete, one implicit vote to delete, no dissent). —LrdChaos 16:17, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete. Standard vanity-page profile. I see that the creator removed the boilerplate external links, but has yet to correct the WP link. Of course, there is no corresponding David Epstein. I have posted a vanity-warn to his talk page. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 21:05, 10 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete, concur with above. ~ UDScott 12:33, 11 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete. Vanity page for a non-notable person. —LrdChaos 16:06, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete. 121a0012 20:39, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
User talk:Mark C Lipton

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:15, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Mark C Lipton


text:
User talk:Wildorbit3200

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:15, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Wildorbit3200


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User talk:Otto@una.ge

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:15, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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User talk:Sister Kybosh

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:15, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Sister Kybosh


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User talk:Vickyholt

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:15, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Vickyholt


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User talk:Fatalxception~enwikiquote

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:16, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Fatalxception. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Fatalxception~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:22, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:47, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Fatalxception~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Sin Acies

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User talk:Parkerjp33@netzero.net

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:16, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Parkerjp33@netzero.net


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User talk:Vivalarazza

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title: User talk:Vivalarazza


text:
User talk:Vivalaraza

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title: User talk:Vivalaraza


text:
User talk:AvatarFanatic111

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title: User talk:AvatarFanatic111


text:
User talk:Dcoryh192

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! —LrdChaos 19:17, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Dcoryh192


text:
User:Rotten1

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rotten1

title: User:Rotten1


text: Template:User ca-1

title: Template:User ca-1