text:
The Amazing Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man (started in 1963) is the title of a comic book published by Marvel Comics.

Amazing Fantasy #15

 * Narration: With great power there must also come--great responsibility!

 * Spider-Man: That--that face! Oh no, it can't be! It's the fugitive who ran past me! The one I didn't stop when I had the chance.

Issue 1

 * [Peter Parker is taking off his Spiderman suit]
 * Peter Parker: Uncle Ben is dead! And all because I was too late to save him. My Spider-man costume! I wish there were no such thing!

 * Peter Parker: Aunt May, there's only one thing to do! I've got to quit school and get a job!
 * Aunt May: No, Peter, You mustn't! Your uncle always dreamed of you being a scientist some day! You must continue your studies!

 * [Spiderman wants to cash his check at the bank.]
 * Spiderman: I'd like to cash this check!
 * Banker: I'll have to see some identification!
 * Spiderman: What about my costume?
 * Banker: Don't be silly! Anyone can wear a costume! Do you have a Social Security card or a driver license in the name of Spider-man??
 * Spiderman: N-No -- I don't!

 * [While writing his first anti-Spiderman article]
 * J. Jonah Jameson: When I'm thru with this article, Spider-man will be run out of town!

 * [At a lecture]
 * J. Jonah Jameson: The youth of this nation must learn to respect real heroes -- men such as my son, John Jameson, the test pilot! Not selfish freaks such as Spider-man -- a masked menace who refuses to even let us know his true identity!

 * [After reading Jameson's article]
 * Peter Parker: I don't get it! How do other superhuman guys, like the Fantastic Four and the Ant Man, get away with it? Nobody bothers them! And they always seem to make enough dough.
 * Newspaper stand owner: Bah! I don't even believe that there is a Spider-man! It's all a publicity stunt!

Issue 3

 * [Spider-Man first meets Dr. Octopus]
 * Spider-Man: Hold it, Doc! How about pickin' on someone who can fight you back?
 * Dr. Octopus: Spider-man!
 * Spider-Man: Well, I sure ain't Albert Schweitzer!
 * Dr. Octopus: You dare speak flippantly to me! You fool! When I'm finished with you, You'll sing a different tune!

 * Spider-Man: I wish there was a superheroes' union somewhere---'cause if there was, I'd make sure a fella gets time-and-a-half for tackling a joker with four metal arms!

 * Peter Parker: It's not that I don't wanna do my bit against air pollution, like anyone else--but first I've gotta rid the city of Doc Ock--'cause in my book, he's a one-man ecology crisis on the hoof.

 * Spider-Man: Like they always say--the show must go on! Altho' I never figured out why!

Issue 4

 * [Peter's classmates are watching Spiderman fight the Sandman in the school]
 * Kid: Boy! Did you see that!?!
 * Liz Allan: I wonder where Peter went? He isn't here!
 * Flash Thompson: Who, that coward? He's probably hidin' with his head under a desk somewhere!

Issue 7
[The Vulture has Jameson at gunpoint]
 * Vulture: I tell you what... I'll set the price myself! So open your safe and empty it out for me!
 * J. Jonah Jameson: No! No! You can't rob my payroll! You mustn't! It's all I've got! It would put me out of business!
 * Vulture: Shut up! I'm not interested in your troubles! Now do as I say... or else! And stop blubbering like a coward!
 * J. Jonah Jameson: Have you no conscience? No feelings? Y-You're as bad as Spider-man!
 * Peter Parker: [thoughts] Bite your tongue, J.J.!
 * J. Jonah Jameson: I've spent years building up this business... It means everything to me! You can't...
 * Vulture: Oh, can't I?? The Vulture can do anything... as you're about to learn!!

Issue 12

 * [A small crowd watches Dr Octopus unmask Spiderman]
 * Dr. Octopus: I should have known!! It isn't Spider-man! It's that weakling brat, Peter Parker!
 * Betty Brant: Peter!! He did it for me!! Oh, he might have been killed!
 * J. Jonah Jameson: The fool! I ordered him to take pictures of Octopus -- not try a be hero!
 * Police Officer: You mean you knew Octopus was here??

Issue 13

 * [Mysterio recalls studying Spiderman]
 * Mysterio: Whatever Spider-man does naturally, I'll find a way to do it artificially!

Issue 14

 * Liz Allan: Peter, how do you do it?? You're the only one in the class who got 100% on our last exam!
 * Peter: It's just luck, I guess, Liz! That, and spending long hours studying every night!
 * Flash Thompson: A lot of good it'll do you! Who wants to be an egghead anyway?!! Not me!!
 * Liz: It so happens, Mr. Flash Thompson, that you couldn't be! You don't have the equipment for being an egghead! Namely, you're too dumb! It's the men with brains who run this country-- not muscle-bound goops like y - o - u!

 * Green Goblin: Spider-Man will soon arrive, and my diabolical plan can begin! But little does he suspect that this will be a one-way trip - with no return!

Issue 29

 * [Spiderman arrives in time to save Jameson from the Scorpion]
 * J. Jonah Jameson: Get him, don't take any chances! Let him have it!
 * Spiderman: At ease, prune-face! When I need a cheerleader I'll let you know! As for you, Scorpy, we've just got to rid you of your deep-rooted hostility complex!
 * Scorpion: Go ahead, loud mouth, have your fun while you can...! (knocks Spidey back with his tail) ... Because from here on in you're not gonna feel like laughin'  any more!
 * Spiderman: UHHHFFFF!

Issue 31

 * [Peter runs into Flash Thompson while getting set for college]
 * Peter Parker: Well, Well! If it isn't Fearless Flash Thompson!
 * Flash Thompson: Drop Dead!

 * Harry Osborn: Heard a lot about you, Flash! I'm Harry Osborn, and this little lady is the ex-beauty queen of Standard High, as if you couldn't tell!
 * Gwen Stacy: The little lady has a name, Flash! It's Gwen Stacy and I've followed your football career all through high school!
 * Flash Thompson: You should have let me know, Gwen! I'd have given you all the facts in person!

Issue 38

 * [Joe Smith punches Spider-Man in the jaw, fighting without talking]
 * Spider-Man: Look, while we're still on speaking terms-- what's your name? I like to know who it is that's knocking my block off! Won't talk, eh? Then I'll just have to keep saying "hey, you!" Actually, I've never met a modest costumed scrapper before! Usually they start off by saying "Nobody can defeat the Purple Panty-Waist!", or "You fool! Don't you realize you've no chance against the Human Windshield-Wiper!"

Issue 39

 * [Norman Osborn drop his son Harry off on campus]
 * Harry Osborn: Well, here's where I get out! Thanks for the lift, Dad!
 * Norman Osborn: Uh Huh...
 * Harry Osborn: Is anything wrong Dad? You hardly said a word all the way from the house to here!
 * Norman Osborn: There's nothing wrong! Did you want me to give you a lift, or deliver a speech on the way?!!
 * Harry Osborn: I didn't mean to get you angry! I was just wondering --
 * Norman Osborn: Well, don't wonder! It costs me a fortune to keep you in college -- so try thinking about your studies once in a while!

 * [The Green Goblin has an unmasked Spiderman captured and is removing his own mask]
 * Green Goblin: Take a look, Parker -- a good, long look. It's the last face Spider-Man will ever see --it's the real face of the Green Goblin. The face of Norman Osborn!
 * Peter Parker: Those features!! That name! Of course -- you're related to my own classmate! You're Harry Osborn's father!

Issue 41

 * [Spider dodges a charge from the Rhino, who runs into a telephone booth]
 * Spiderman: Hey, Rhiny -- wouldn't it have been easier just to drop a dime in the slot?
 * Rhino: Mock me will you? You'll live to regret that!

Issue 42

 * [First words to Peter Parker]
 * Mary Jane Watson: Face it, tiger...you just hit the jackpot!

Issue 43

 * [A crowd of spectators is watching as the Rhino wreaks havoc on the city, destroying cars, street-lights, and buildings.]
 * One spectator: If I was in charge, I'd toss an A-bomb at him from the roof!
 * Another spectator: Could be that's why you're not in charge!

Issue 45

 * [Spiderman jumps the Lizard]
 * Spiderman: Okay, Liz... This is the end of the line!!
 * Lizard: Spider-man! I hoped you'd show up!

Issue 46

 * [Harry shows Peter their new room]
 * Harry Osborn: Welcome to the pad, lad! It's not the Taj Mahal... but it's better than a tent!
 * Peter Parker: You mean... All this is ours?? It's out of sight, Harr -- ! -- and in living color, too!

Issue 51

 * [The Kingpin lands a powerful left-hand punch to Spider-Man's solar plexus]
 * The Kingpin: You made the same fatal mistake as everyone else who faces the Kingpin--! You thought of me as nothing more than a helpless, slow-moving fat-man---
 * Spider-Man: (doubled over in pain) *Whew!* One thing's for sure-- helpless you're not!! But you'll never convince me that you're really skinny!

Issue 53

 * Flash Thompson: Listen, civilian-- are you trying to beat my time with Gwen?
 * Peter Parker: You never had any time to beat! And what's with the civilian bit? What were you before the draft?!!
 * Gwen Stacy: At ease, men! Let's all meet later at the Coffee Bean, and puff a purple peace pipe!
 * Peter: Okay-- but one of these days that loudmouth'll pick on the wrong guy--!
 * Flash: Yeah-- and that's when I'll flatten you, Parker-- 'cause you were born the wrong guy!

 * Dr. Octopus: Have you forgotten so soon that my hydraulically-operated arms can transport me anywhere?!! And once I get within striking distance-- they can brush you from that ceiling as effortlessly as they'd clear the room of any annoying insect! But this time I will not allow you to escape alive--!
 * Dr. Octopus: (continuing) So! You saved yorself by clinging to the outside wall, did you? Hah -- but not for long!! Now that I have no further use for concealment, I can dispose of my cloak--! --just as I intend to dispose of-- you! And with the aid of my four extra arms-- I will reach you long before you can make it to the ground!
 * Spider-Man: Boy! I never heard anyone yak so much! How do you intend to beat me-- by talking me to death??

Issue 54

 * [Spider-man crashes in on Dr. Octopus]
 * Dr. Octopus: SPIDER-MAN!
 * Spider-man: You know it, Mister!
 * Doctor Octopus: Unfortunately, your courage in returning here is far greater than your wisdom! You should have learned by now that you're no match for the power of my tentacles!

Issue 61

 * Spider-man: [Kicks the Kingpin's heavy cane out of his hand]: Ixnay on the clobber stick, Chubbins! We're gonna do this my way!

Issue 70

 * [Peter Parker lies in bed, trying to get some sleep]
 * Peter Parker: Now I haven't a worry in the world! ... except what to do if someone does find the stolen tablet in my closet! Or, if anyone figures out that Spidey is really Mrs. Parker's fair-haired nephew! Or, if I have to face the Kingpin again --- and he squashes me!! Yep! Life sure is a million laughs! ...for the other guy! I haven't even had a chance to look in on Aunt May... to see how she's feeling now! As for jolly Jonah, his paper is more anti-Spidey than ever before! And how do I explain my disappearance to Gwen? ...or to her dad... who's sharper than anyone knows! And what about Joe Robertson --- Randy --- Josh --- and the others? Not to mention the Kingpin--- whom I can't forget! Oh, bro-ther! Am I in great shape!
 * [Dawn starts to break; Peter sits up in bed]
 * Peter: The more I risk my life--- the more deadly chances I take --- the less good it seems to do! With all my strength--- with all my powers --- why can't I ever make things right?

Issue 73

 * [Dr. Connors is being held captive by Silvemane]
 * Dr. Curt Connors: Look... I'm just a dime-a-dozen research scientist from the Everglades! I don't know what you're after, but you grabbed yourself the wrong man!
 * Silvermane: You underestimate yourself, Doctor! You are just the man we need!
 * Dr. Curt Connors: But you can't keep me here! It... It isn't safe!
 * Silvermane: Is that a fact? And just why isn't it safe, Connors?
 * Dr. Curt Connors: I... can't answer that!!

Issue 90

 * Spider-Man: What is it, Captain? I'm -- listening!
 * Captain Stacy: It -- It's Gwen! After I'm -- gone -- there'll be no one -- to look after her --
 * Captain Stacy: No one, Peter -- except -- you!
 * Captain Stacy: Be good to her -- son! Be good -- to her --
 * Captain Stacy: She loves you -- so very -- much ---

 * [Captain Stacy dies]

 * Spider-Man: You -- you know who I am! You must have always known!
 * Spider-Man: But -- you never told! You never gave me away!
 * Spider-Man: Why must it happen? Why? Why?
 * Spider-Man: First -- I lost Uncle Ben -- Those long years ago! And now -- The second best friend -- I've ever had!

Issue 91

 * Peter Parker: [thoughts] It's like watching an old Humphrey Bogart movie! Only this is for real!

 * Spider-Man: [thoughts] Well, well -- the old abandoned warehouse routine! They must have been brought up on grade-B movies!

Issue 96

 * Harry Osborn: Anyway, My Dad's job offer is still open to you, Pete. You're a jerk not to take it. In fact, I know what I'm gonna do --
 * Peter Paker: Hey, hold it, Harr! Take it easy now.
 * Harry Osborn: Uh uh! My mind's made up! I'm telling him you said yes. So go see 'im, roomate. You've nothing to lose.

 * Norman Osborn: (to Peter Parker) It's strange -- you always seem to remind me of someone -- but, I don't know who. Oh well -- it's probably my imagination.

Issue 97

 * Spiderman: Goblin -- listen to me! We have to talk. You're sick! I -- want to help you.
 * Green Goblin: Fine! I want to help you too... to an early grave!

Issue 102

 * [The Lizard and Morbius are standing over Spiderman. The Lizard lunges for Morbius]
 * Lizard: Spider-man is mine to kill! MINE!
 * Spiderman: No need to fight over me fellas. There's plenty to go around.

Issue 121

 * [The Green Goblin has Gwen Stacy on the George Washington Bridge and is calling out to Spiderman, explaining what he wants]
 * Green Goblin: It's quite simple, web-spinner... Your presence in this world has been a source of constant agony to me. I wish you to leave it -- permanently. Or else.. Gwen Stacy dies!

 * [Spiderman is holding the dead Gwen Stacy and shouting at the Green Goblin]
 * Spiderman: Wrong, Goblin! YOU'RE THE CREEP WHO'S GOING TO PAY! I'm going to get you, Goblin! I'm going to destroy you slowly -- and when you start begging for me to end it -- I'm going to remind you of one thing-- YOU KILLED THE WOMAN I LOVE -- AND FOR THAT, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!

Issue 122

 * Police Officer: I hate to do this to you fella, but the ambulance is here.
 * Spider-Man: Ambulance? She doesn't need an ambulance, officer--she's dead--and Spider-Man killed her.

Issue 146

 * [Spiderman makes the Scorpion apologize to Aunt May for frightening her]
 * Scorpion: -- Apologize for frightening you Mrs. Parker. It was a rotten thing to do. I'm sorry, and I want to forget I ever saw you, any of you, and I hope I never see you again!
 * Peter Parker: It may not be exactly what Spider-man had in mind, but I guess it'll do. Right, Aunt May?
 * Aunt May: One moment Peter, I've something to say to this gentleman. (to Scorpion) You should be ashamed of yourself, young man. I haven't a very high opinion of Spider-man... but at least he has manners.
 * Scorpion: Why you old --
 * Aunt May: Watch your tongue or I'll slap your face!

Issue 149

 * [Spiderman wakes up from the Jackal's attack and finds another Spiderman]
 * Spiderman 1: Huh? Who the heck are you, fella -- and where's the Jackal?
 * Spiderman 2: Huh? Who the heck are you, fella -- and where's the Jackal?
 * Spiderman 1: Hold it right there... I don't know what the gag is, but I'm not laughing!
 * Spiderman 2: Neither am I, handsome. Either you tell me where the Jackal is hiding, and what he's done with Gwen and Ned Leeds, or I'll --

Issue 212

 * Hydro-man: (to a woman in the shower): You... you definitely ain't Spider-man!

 * Joe Robertson: Jonah the nuts struck again... (sees Peter and Debra Whitman) on the Upper West Side?
 * J. Jonah Jameson: Which nut, Robbie? New York's got plenty of them!

Issue 224

 * [A bank-robber finds out Spider-Man has webbed his get-away car.]
 * Spider-Man: Good morning, sir! Fill 'er up? Should I check under the hood?
 * Robber: Ah...bu...bu...
 * Spider-Man: Oh, I see you are a hood.
 * Robber: Yeeoow! It's Spider-Man! Run for it!
 * Spider-Man: Was it something I said?

Issue 225

 * Foolkiller: I'd all but given up my crusade to rid the world of fools…there are, I found, just too many!

 * [Peter Parker just saw a man crawling up a wall.]
 * Peter Parker: [thoughts] The local wall-crawlers union has very strict entrance requirements! Heck, I had to be bitten by a radioactive spider to join!

Issue 226

 * Narration: Contrary to popular belief, there are some advantages to living in New York City!

Issue 238

 * Hobgoblin: Well, Norman Osborn may have died, but his legacy -- his power -- will live on! And this time, it shall be shaped by a man who knows how to use power! The Green Goblin is no more! But in his place now stands -- the Hobgoblin!

Issue 278

 * Hobgoblin: Almost. What a pity. If he had died, I could have moved about with a lot of freedom... Until people realized I was still at large.
 * Rose: Interesting, and tell me... What made you light upon Thompson as your catspaw in the first place?
 * Hobgoblin: Why Thompson? Why not? (flies off with laughter)

Issue 292

 * Mary Jane Watson: So maybe it's time to stop running. Maybe there's nothing wrong with making someone else happy -- as long as that person makes you happy.
 * Peter Parker: You mean...?
 * Mary Jane Watson: I mean "yes," Peter, Yes... I'll marry you!

Issue 299

 * Venom: Hi, Honey...
 * Mary Jane Watson-Parker: Oh, God.
 * Venom: ...I'm home!

Issue 300

 * [First words to Spiderman]
 * Venom: Welcome to my neighborhood Spider-man! Would you be my... could you be my... neighbor?

Issue 317

 * [Peter and Aunt May find Eddie Brock on the porch]
 * Eddie Brock: Hi, I'm Eddie Brock. Can Peter come out and play?

Issue 344

 * Cletus Kasady: Geez, Brock, give it a rest, already! Watchin' ya do chin-ups s'about as excitin' as watchin' glaciers form!
 * Eddie Brock: Body's caged, Kasady. (one hundred twenty-three) But my spirit is free. (one hundred twenty-four) And I've gotta be in peak condition-- (one hundred twenty-five) -- if I'm to avenge the death of my other.
 * Cletus Kasady: Pfffft, fergit that Venom spook! All ya need is will! The courage to do things other folks are scared to!
 * Eddie Brock: Like butchering innocent families, Cletus? *sigh* Sometimes I wish I didn't have to live with a foul serial killer like you.
 * Cletus Kasady: (offhandedly as he scrapes his shiv against the bars)'' Keep gripin', hoss, an' ya won't be!

Issue 361

 * Carnage: (to a victim) I'm killing ya... cause I can!

Issue 362

 * Carnage: I mean, order's just a lie, right? Built on fantasies... like law, an' morals! I remember when I first realized that! How without those illusions, I could do anything! Up to an' includin' murder! Man, I never felt so free! An' once I help the rest o' this planet catch on... oh wow. Blood an' glory!

Issue 365

 * Hoodlum #1: Lookit that suit. Guy's loaded. What's he doin' in this neighbourhood?
 * Hoodlum #2: I say we roll fer everything he's got.
 * Spider-Man: I say we let him go.
 * (Gang members turn around, shocked that Spider-Man has managed to sneak in behind them)
 * Spider-Man: What, don't I get a say?

Issue 369

 * Spider-Man: (faced with a new adversary) I'm sorry, you think defeating me is that simple? Have you seen my resumé? I've fought mutants, gods, aliens, technomalogical wackjobs, street hoods... Hell, I fought my own costume. You think its that simple? Bring it on.

Issue 375

 * Venom: You usually run from us.
 * Spiderman: Not this time Brock! But if you've harmed my mom and dad, you'll wish I had run!
 * Venom: How silly. We don't want to hurt them; We want to protect them from you!
 * Spiderman: What?!

Issue 380

 * [Venom confronts Carnage]
 * Venom: Monstrosity! We'll take a gallon of your blood for every innocent drop you've spilled!
 * Carnage: Whoa! "Pop"! I didn't expect to see you here! But, hey stick around! I've got a couple o' friends I'd like ya to meet...

Issue 400

 * Green Goblin: You can't stop me, Spider-Man. With your stupid banter and damned stubborn nature. Surrender now, I'll end it quickly. What do you say?
 * Spider-Man: What do I say? Go to the Devil -(punches the Green Goblin) - Snacky!

Issue 472

 * Aunt May: So: Peter, last egg. Last egg, Peter. Would you two like to get together?

Issue 500

 * [Dr. Strange and Spider-Man are "outside" of the timeline.]
 * Dr. Strange: You have to come with me. You will have to find me.
 * Spider-Man: Great. Swell idea. Ummm...how?
 * Dr. Strange: You will have to come back up your own timeline until you reach the present.
 * Spider-Man: Uh-huh. Did you get that part about "how?"
 * Dr. Strange: I am a Sorcerer Supreme, Spider-Man. I miss nothing.
 * Spider-Man: Okay, okay, just checking, don't get your cape in a knot...

Issue 529

 * Peter Parker: Back at the hospital, MJ had her right arm broken in the fight. But afterward, she was fine. What happened? I'd ask her myself, but I don't want to make her relive that day.
 * Tony Stark: Oh, that. Well... On the way back here, Jessica set the bone, and I injected a compound around the bone that sealed the break better than a splint and stopped the swelling. A secondary layer of flesh-tone silicone outside the arm compressed any residual swelling and masked the injury. Having broken so many of my own bones over the years, I've made that a standard part of my emergency kit.
 * Peter & Tony break the fourth wall and look at the reader, giving them a "And now you know" look.
 * Peter Parker: Good... Because, I was wondering--
 * Tony Stark: Yes, well, who wouldn't?

Issue 531

 * Titanium Man: This, Tovarisch Spider, is where it ends.
 * Spider-Man: Say 'Moose and Squirrel'.

 * Spider-Man: (Thinking) This is your chance to look good in D.C., Peter. Don't mess it up. Think something catchy, something historic...
 * Spider-Man: (Aloud) And don't come back!

 * Senator: For us to trust you, you have to come down here and take off you mask. Will you do that?
 * Spider-Man: It protects my identity. I'm sorry, but I can't.
 * Senator: Young man, you may be above the ground, but you are not above the law. That is a superpower which no-one has.

 * Titanium Man: When your government turns on you...when you are hunted and driven out...I wonder--How will you feel the day you run errands for other people...for briefcases filled with money?
 * Iron Man: ...Say 'Moose and Squirrel'. Just once.
 * Titanium Man: Amerikanski humor. But soon, not so funny, yes?

Issue 537

 * Captain America: Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No, you move."
 * Spider-Man: (Pause) Can I, like, carry your books to school? For the rest of my life?
 * Captain America: Come on... time to get you back to the rest of the group.
 * Spider-Man: I mean it. I can give you my lunch. My aunt made tuna sandwiches. Again.

Issue 545

 * [Peter and Mary Jane accepted Mephisto's deal to erase their marriage from history (and all knowledge of it) in exchange for Aunt May's life.]
 * Mary Jane Watson-Parker: It doesn't matter. Because whatever he does to pull us apart would have to be bigger and stronger than what brought us together and kept us together, no matter what happened. And there's no power in the universe big enough for a job like that. Not the Devil, not God, not anybody.

 * Harry Osborn: (at his surprise party) All this for little old me?

Issue 547

 * Spiderman: (after hearing the name of his new foe) Mr Negative! Are you kidding me! Did they run out of names at the name store?

Issue 700

 * Doctor Octopus: But I’m tired. So tired. Just let me…
 * Uncle Ben: (Dream) (Only in flashbacks) You’re not foolin’ me, petey!
 * Doctor Octopus: HUH?
 * Uncle Ben: I know you’re awake. And it’s time for school!
 * Doctor Octopus: Gosh, Uncle Ben. you’re worse --
 * Spider-Man: -- Than a room full of alarm clocks!
 * Spider-Man: UNHH! Wh-What are you doing to me?! Get out of my head!

 * Doctor Octopus: MJ? Th-They’re all here. Let me see them.
 * Spider-Man: Here.
 * Doctor Octopus: Promise me. you’ll keep them safe.
 * Spider-Man: I… Promise.
 * Doctor Octopus: Hm. That’s all I…
 * Doctor Octopus: (Die) …Ever…
 * Spider-Man: Peter?
 * Spider-Man: …The Superior Spider-Man!

Issue 789

 * Cap #1: Hey! It ’s you! That Parker guy! You’re really something, you know that? My sister worked for Parker industries. Now she’s out of a job!
 * Peter Parker: I’m sorry. I…
 * Cap #2: You put that big energy dome over the city!
 * Peter Parker: Um. No. That was all faked. It never –
 * Cap #3: All my wedding pictures were on my Parker device! Now they’re gone!
 * Cap #4: I had stock in your company! Who’s gonna pay for that?! YOU?!

title: The Amazing Spider-Man


text:
Jan Struther

Jan Struther was the pen name of Joyce Anstruther, later Joyce Maxtone Graham and finally Joyce Placzek (6 June 1901 – 20 July 1953), an English writer remembered for her character Mrs. Miniver and a number of hymns, including Lord of All Hopefulness and When a Knight won his Spurs.

Quotes

 * O love's a simple word to say With nature aiding and abetting;
 * LONDON LOVERS, BETSINDA DANCES AND OTHER POEMS

 * For to love, loveless, is a bitter pill: But to be loved, unloving, bitterer still.
 * THE CHOICE, BETSINDA DANCES AND OTHER POEMS

 * And I am a mockery, who was God before.
 * AGE, BETSINDA DANCES AND OTHER POEMS

 * Then say–how come the years to seem so swift, The days, the days so slow?
 * A PARADOX, BETSINDA DANCES AND OTHER POEMS

 * Come, let us wage a holy war!
 * BALLADE OF VANISHING WILD FLOWERS, BETSINDA DANCES AND OTHER POEMS

 * Now heaven be thanked, I am out of love again! I have been long a slave, and now am free;
 * FREEDOM, BETSINDA DANCES AND OTHER POEMS

 * To be entirely at leisure for one day is to be for one day an immortal:
 * The New Car, Mrs. Miniver

 * In childhood the daylight always fails too soon -- except when there are going to be fireworks;
 * Guy Fawkes' Day, Mrs. Miniver

 * She noted with delight that he really did say "Ha!" This made a valuable addition to her collection. She had lately acquired a "Humph!" and two "Whews!" but she was still waiting in vain for a "Pshaw!"
 * The Eve of the Shoot, Mrs. Miniver

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Jan Struther


text:
User talk:69.205.39.5

—Jeremy Hanson 20:01, 9 August 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:69.205.39.5


text:
Robert T. Oliver

Robert Tarbell Oliver (1909–2000) was a professor of speech at Pennsylvania State University who wrote extensively on the subject of Asian rhetoric.

Quotes

 * Neither is it accidental that the Upanishads contain no internal evidence as to when, where or by whom they were composed. Their very thesis is that we dwell in the midst of a timeless eternity. With everything so indissolubly united that particular areas or places are of no concern. Who might be the author of an idea or a way of communicating it must be of no importance whatsoever, since truth is truth.
 * Communication and Culture In Ancient India & China (1971)

 * Ancient Indians had a far deeper confidence in living speech than in the moral, impersonal and derivative written communication. When words issued from the mouth of a sayer, they carried a personal endorsement.
 * Communication and Culture In Ancient India & China (1971)

title: Robert T. Oliver


text:
User talk:65.13.2.232

—Jeremy Hanson 03:02, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:65.13.2.232


text:
User talk:Oska

—Jeremy Hanson 03:02, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

Ward Cunningham

 * Wow! that was an amazingly fast clean-up of my very rough addition of a single Ward Cunningham quote. I admit I was being lazy but it's pretty late where I am. Really appreciate your edit. Oska 12:40, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

 * No problem! I tend to do a quick run through of all new pages when I first log on in the morning - just to clean up where it's needed or to tag them appropriately. Cheers! ~ UDScott 12:58, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:Oska


text:
User:Blah~enwikiquote

Haha! I am Blah! (read with Dracula accent)

title: User:Blah~enwikiquote


text:
Talk:Amy Sherman-Palladino

Joan Palladino was my neighbor in Scottsdale, Arizona from 1960 to 1963. Any chance she is Dan Palladino's mother? Amy's "Gilmore Girls" is a jewel. Thanks! Jan Folsom. janfolsom@aol.com

title: Talk:Amy Sherman-Palladino


text:
Gilda

Gilda is a 1946 American film noir about the sinister boss of a South American casino who finds that his right-hand man Johnny and his sensuous new wife Gilda already know each other. In 2013 the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".
 * Directed by Charles Vidor. Written by Jo Eisinger (adaptation) and E.A. Ellington (story).

There NEVER was a woman like Gilda! taglines

Gilda Mundson Farrell

 * If I'd been a ranch, they would have named me "The Bar Nothing."

Johnny Farrell

 * Pardon me, but your husband is showing.
 * She didn't know then what was happening to her. She didn't know then that what she heard was the door closing on her own cage. She hadn't been faithful to him when he was alive, but she was gonna be faithful to him now that he was dead.

Dialogue

 * Mundson: Gilda, are you decent?
 * Gilda: Me? Sure... I'm decent.

 * Mundson: Look your best, my beautiful. This will be the casino's first glimpse of you.
 * Gilda: I'll look my very best, Ballin. I want all the hired help to approve of me.

 * Mundson: For some reason, she doesn't like you, Johnny... I know my wife... How would she form an instant antagonism like that? It's an odd coincidence, Johnny. Listen to this. She told me she was born the night she met me. All three of us have no pasts, just futures. Isn't that interesting?
 * Johnny: I thought we agreed that women and gambling didn't mix.
 * Mundson: My wife doesn't come under the category of 'women,' Johnny.
 * Johnny: I could have made a mistake.
 * Mundson: You did. Don't make it again.
 * Johnny: It starts already. [He hands back the house key]
 * Mundson: What's this?
 * Johnny: Tact.

 * Gilda: I can never get a zipper to close. Maybe that stands for something, what do you think?
 * Mundson: I think you were very rude to him.
 * Gilda: To whom?
 * Mundson: Johnny.
 * Gilda: Was I? Oh, dear. That's one of the things you'll have to teach me, Ballin. Good manners.
 * Mundson: I want you to like him.
 * Gilda: You sure about that?
 * Mundson: What do you mean?
 * Gilda: He's a very attractive man, if you like the type.
 * Mundson: He's a boy.
 * Gilda: Boys have the darndest way of growing up, Ballin. Almost when you're not looking.
 * Mundson: But I'll be looking.

 * Johnny: [about Mundson, him, and the cane-dagger] Well, just a few weeks ago, we drank a toast to the three of us.
 * Gilda: Well, who was the third one then? Should I be jealous?
 * Mundson: Hardly darling. Just a friend of mine.
 * Gilda: Is it a 'him' or a 'her'?
 * Mundson: That's a very interesting question. What do you think, Johnny?
 * Johnny: A 'her.'
 * Gilda: Oh!
 * Mundson: Why that conclusion?
 * Johnny: Because it looks like one thing, and then right in front of your eyes, it becomes another thing.

 * Gilda: Now isn't this something? It's a small world in Argentina, isn't it?
 * Johnny: Isn't it? Why did you marry him?
 * Gilda: My husband's a very attractive man.
 * Johnny: You don't love him.
 * Gilda: What was that word again, Johnny?
 * Johnny: You married him for his money.
 * Gilda: That happened to come with it.
 * Johnny: Now, that's a great way to make a living.
 * Gilda: That wouldn't be the big pot calling the little kettle black, now would it?
 * Johnny: I was down and out. He picked me up. Put me on my feet.
 * Gilda: Now isn't that an amazing coincidence, Johnny. That's practically the story of my life.

 * Johnny: You can't talk to men down here the way you would at home. They don't understand it.
 * Gilda: Understand what?
 * Johnny: They think you mean it.
 * Gilda: Mean what?
 * Johnny: Doesn't it bother you at all that you're married?
 * Gilda: What I want to know is, does it bother you?

 * Mundson: You're a child, Gilda, a beautiful greedy child. And it amuses me to feed you beautiful things because you eat with so good an appetite.
 * Gilda: But I shouldn't make any mistakes.
 * Mundson: No, you shouldn't.
 * Gilda: If you're worried about Johnny Farrell, don't be. I hate him.
 * Mundson: And he hates you. That's very apparent. But hate can be a very exciting emotion. Very exciting. Haven't you noticed that?
 * Gilda: You make it sound---
 * Mundson: There's a heat in it that one can feel. Didn't you feel it tonight?
 * Gilda: No.
 * Mundson: I did. It warmed me. Hate is the only thing that has ever warmed me.

 * Johnny: I take care of everything that belongs to the boss.
 * Gilda: What's his is yours?
 * Johnny: I got some news for you, Gilda. He didn't just buy something. He's in love with ya.
 * Gilda: Is that so hard to understand?
 * Johnny: And you're not going to do anything...
 * Gilda: I've got some news for you, Johnny. I'm going to do exactly what I please when I please. I was true to one man once, and look what happened. I made up my mind then...
 * Johnny: This isn't about us, it's about him.
 * Gilda: Really? You don't say so.
 * Johnny: And get this straight. I don't care what you do, but I'm gonna see to it that it looks all right to him. From now on, you go anywhere you please with anyone you please, but I'm gonna take you there and I'm gonna pick you up and bring you home. Get that? Exactly the way I'd take and pick up his laundry.
 * Gilda: Shame on you, Johnny. Any psychiatrist would tell you that your thought associations are very revealing.
 * Johnny: What are you talking about?
 * Gilda: Any psychiatrist would tell you that means something, Johnny.
 * Johnny: Did you hear what I said?
 * Gilda: Sure, I heard what you said. You're gonna take me there and pick me up - all to protect Ballin. Who do ya think you're kidding, Johnny? [she leaves]
 * Johnny: [voice-over] I hated her so, I couldn't get her out of my mind for a minute. She was in the air I breathed, the food I ate...

 * Gilda: Why don't you make it easy on yourself and let him find out about me, or are you afraid of what he might do to me? Johnny! I am...
 * Johnny: What?!
 * Gilda: ...afraid.
 * Johnny: You?
 * Gilda: Oh Johnny, I wish I'd never...
 * Johnny: Never what?
 * Gilda: Getting married on the rebound is so stupid.
 * Johnny: Rebound from what?
 * Gilda: You. Because, you don't know a man you've only known one day.
 * Johnny: He doesn't know you either. That way, you start even. All fair and even.
 * Gilda: Would it interest you to know how much I hate you, Johnny?
 * Johnny: Very much.
 * Gilda: I hate you so much I would destroy myself to take you down with me. Now I've warned you. Now that's all fair and even.
 * Johnny: All fair and even... Now would it interest you to know that I know why you're hanging around here at five o'clock in the morning?
 * Gilda: I told you. I'm the laundry. I'm simply obeying instructions.
 * Johnny: Now who's kidding who, Gilda?

 * Johnny: Get your clothes on. You're gettin' out of here.
 * Gilda: Are we, Johnny? Are we?
 * Johnny: Not we! You!
 * Gilda: You do hate me, don't you, Johnny?
 * Johnny: I don't think you have any idea how much.
 * Gilda: Hate is a very exciting emotion. Haven't you noticed? Very exciting. I hate you too, Johnny. I hate you so much, I think I'm gonna die from it. Darling. [She falls into his arms and they kiss passionately] I think I'm gonna die from it.

 * Det. Obregon: You two kids love each other pretty terribly, don't you?
 * Johnny: I hate her!
 * det. Obregon: That's what I mean. It's the most curious love-hate pattern I've ever had the privilege of witnessing. And as long as you're as sick in the head as you are about her, you're not able to think about anything clearly.

 * Obregon: You know, I'm a great cop, Mr. Farrell. I'm certainly a push-over for a love story... [To Uncle Pio and Johnny] You two can quit being noble any time you like, you know, because a man can only die once, and Mundson committed suicide three months ago. Besides, didn't you ever hear of a thing called justifiable homicide?
 * Gilda: Johnny, let's go home. Let's go home.

Cast

 * Rita Hayworth - Gilda Mundson Farrell
 * Glenn Ford - Johnny Farrell / Narrator
 * George Macready - Ballin Mundson
 * Joseph Calleia - Det. Maurice Obregon
 * Steven Geray - Uncle Pio
 * Joe Sawyer - Casey
 * Gerald Mohr - Capt. Delgado
 * Mark Roberts - Gabe Evans
 * Ludwig Donath - German
 * Don Douglas - Thomas Langford
 * George J. Lewis - Huerta
 * Anita Ellis (singing voice of Rita Hayworth)

Taglines

 * There NEVER was a woman like Gilda!
 * "I didn't think I'd be true to a man again as long as I lived..."
 * "I was true to one man once... and look what happened..."
 * Bewitchy !
 * RITA HAYWORTH...dynamic as never before...scaling new dramatic heights in her most exciting role!
 * Gilda gambles as recklessly as she lives!
 * Johnny, let me go, please let me go. I can't stand it any more...

title: Gilda


text:
User talk:138.88.43.241

The one quote you pointed out on the Oprah Winfrey page had been vandalized. This has been corrected. All quotes under an a "Attributed" headings are those quotations we do not have any sources for as yet, but have been commonly cited as statements of the person being covered. ~ Kalki 04:31, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:138.88.43.241


text:
Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing is a 1987 musical and romance film set in 1963, in which a teenage girl crosses over into womanhood both physically and emotionally, through a relationship with a dance instructor during a family summer vacation.
 * Directed by Emile Ardolino. Written by Eleanor Bergstein.

Have The Time Of Your Life!taglines

Johnny Castle

 * Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.

 * Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
 * Note: ranked #98 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.

 * Sorry about the disruption, folks, but I always do the last dance of the season. This year somebody told me not to. So I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer. Somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them. Somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be. Miss Frances Houseman.

Frances "Baby" Houseman

 * [voiceover] That was the summer of 1963, when everybody called me "Baby", and it didn't occur to me to mind. That was before President Kennedy was shot, before the Beatles, when I couldn't wait to join the Peace Corps, and I thought I'd never find a guy as great as my dad. That was the summer we went to Kellermans.

 * [when she sneaks into the employees-only party] I carried a watermelon. [realizes what she just said] I carried a watermelon?

 * Oh, yes, as a matter of fact it is. We're supposed to do the show in two days, you won't show me the lifts, I'm not sure of the turns, I'm doing all this to save your ass, what I really want to do is drop you on it!

 * [to her father] I told you I was telling the truth, Daddy. I'm sorry I lied to you, but you lied too. You told me everyone was alike and deserved a fair break. But you meant everyone who was like you. You told me you wanted me to change the world, to make it better. But you meant by becoming a lawyer or a Doctor and marrying someone from Harvard. I'm not proud of myself, but I'm in this family too. You can't keep giving me the silent treatment. There are a lot of things about me that aren't what you thought. But if you love me, you have to love all the things about me, and I love you. I'm sorry I let you down; I'm so sorry, Daddy. But you let me down too.

Dialogue

 * Neil Kellerman: I love to watch your hair blowing in the breeze.
 * Baby Houseman: Maybe my parents are looking for me.
 * Neil Kellerman: Baby, don't worry. If they think you're with me, they'll be the happiest parents at Kellerman's. I have to say it. I'm known as the catch of the county.
 * Baby Houseman: I'm sure you are.
 * Neil Kellerman: Only last week, I took a girl away from Jamie, the lifeguard. And he said to her, right in front of me, "What does he have that I don't have?" And she said, "Two hotels".

 * Baby Houseman: Johnny, I came here because my father-
 * Johnny Castle: No, I mean the way he saved her. I mean, I.... I could never do anything like that. That was somethin'. The reason people treat me like I'm nothin' is cause I'm nothin'.
 * Baby Houseman: That's not true! You- You're everything!
 * Johnny Castle: You don't understand the way it is, I mean for somebody like me. Last month, I'm eating Jujubes to keep alive, and this month, women are stuffing diamonds in my pocket, I'm balancing on shit as quick as that, [clicks his fingers] I could be down there again.
 * Baby Houseman: No, it's not the way it is! It doesn't have to be that way.
 * Johnny Castle: I've never known anyone like you before. You think you can make the world better. Somebody's lost, you find them. Somebody's bleeding-
 * Baby Houseman: Yeah, I go get my daddy. That was really brave, like you said.
 * Johnny Castle: That took a lot of guts to go to him! You are not scared of anything.
 * Baby Houseman: Me? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I saw. I'm scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all, I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life.... the way I feel when I'm with you!

 * Baby Houseman: Have you had many women?
 * Johnny Castle: What? [laughs]
 * Baby Houseman: Have you had many women?
 * Johnny Castle: Come on, Baby.
 * Baby Houseman: Come on. I want to know.
 * Johnny Castle: No, no. [jumps out of bed and Baby smiles at him] Look, you've gotta understand what it's like, Baby: you come from the streets and suddenly you're up here, and these women are throwing themselves at ya, and they smell so good, and they really take care of themselves, [getting dressed] I mean, I never knew women could be like that, you know? And they're so rich, they're so goddamn rich, you think they must know about everything. And they're slipping their room keys in my hands, two and three times day, different women. So here I think I'm scoring big, and for a while you think, hey, they wouldn't be doing this if they didn't care about me, right?
 * Baby Houseman: That's all right, I understand. You were just using them, that's all. [looks depressed]
 * Johnny Castle: No, no, that's not it. That's the thing, see, Baby, it wasn't like that, they were using me.
 * [Baby kisses Johnny and they fall back on to their bed]
 * Johnny Castle: What's your real name, Baby?
 * Baby Houseman: Frances. For the first woman in the cabinet. [laughs]
 * Johnny Castle: Frances. That's a real grown up name.

 * Johnny Castle: [talking about Neil] That little wimp. He wouldn't know a new idea if it hit him in the Pachenga. He wanted some new ideas? I could've *told* him some new ideas!
 * Baby Houseman: Well, why did you let him talk to you that way?
 * Johnny Castle: What do you mean, and fight the bossman?
 * Baby Houseman: Yeah, tell him your ideas! He's a person like everyone else. I'm sure he'll think they're great.
 * Johnny Castle: Look, I know these people, Baby. They're all rich and they're mean. They won't listen to me.
 * Baby Houseman: Well, then why not fight harder? Make them listen?
 * Johnny Castle: Because, I need this goddamn job lined up for next summer! [chuckles scornfully] My dad calls me today, he says - with good news - you know, he says, "Uncle Paul can finally get you in the union."
 * Baby Houseman: Oh, what-what union?
 * Johnny Castle: The House Painters and Plasterers, local number 179, at your service.
 * [Baby's father, sister, and Robbie come out of the house next to the trail; Baby pulls Johnny down so they won't see them together]
 * Lisa Houseman: I've been thinking a lot about the Domino Theory. Now, when Vietnam falls, is China next?
 * [the trio passes]
 * Baby Houseman: I don't think they saw us.
 * Johnny Castle: [getting up] Fight harder, huh? I don't see you fighting so hard, Baby. I don't see you running up to daddy telling him I'm your guy.
 * Baby Houseman: I will. With my father, it's complicated. I will tell him, I...
 * Johnny Castle: I don't believe you, Baby! I don't think that you ever had any intention of telling him. Ever. [stalks off]

 * Jake Houseman: [about Penny's illegal abortion] Was that what my money paid for?
 * Baby Houseman: I'm sorry. I never meant to lie to you.
 * Jake Houseman: You're not the person I thought you were. I'm not sure who you are. But I don't want you to have anything to do with those people again.
 * Baby Houseman: But, Daddy, can I just explain?
 * Jake Houseman: Nothing! You're to have nothing to do with any of them ever again! I won't tell your mother about this, right now I'm going to bed. And take that stuff off your face before your mother sees you!

 * Jake Houseman: Don't you tell me what to see! I see someone in front of me who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, while he moved on to an innocent young girl like my daughter!
 * [silence]
 * Johnny Castle: [angry] Yeah, I guess that's what you would see.

 * Baby Houseman: [finding out the Schumacher's were guilty of stealing the wallets] So then - so then it's all right! I knew it would work out. I knew they'd have to apologize...
 * Johnny Castle: [shrugs her off] I'm out, Baby.
 * Baby Houseman: They fired you anyway because of me!
 * Johnny Castle: And if I leave quietly, I'll get my summer bonus.
 * Baby Houseman: So I did it for nothing. I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway! I did it for nothing!
 * Johnny Castle: No, not for nothing, Baby! Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before!
 * Baby Houseman: You were right, Johnny. You can't win no matter what you do!
 * Johnny Castle: You listen to me; I don't want to hear that from you, you can!
 * Baby Houseman: I used to think so.

 * Jake Houseman: [Jake gives Robbie a letter of recommendation for medical school] Good luck in medical school, son.
 * Robbie Gould: I wanted to thank you for your help with the Penny situation. I guess we've all gotten into messes.
 * Jake Houseman: What?
 * Robbie Gould: I thought Baby told you. Look, I'm not sure. Penny said so, but you know with girls like that. They're liable to pin it... on any guy around.
 * [Jake snatches the letter back from Robbie]

 * Jake Houseman: I know you weren't the one who got Penny in trouble.
 * Johnny Castle: Yeah.
 * Jake Houseman: When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong. [to Baby] You looked wonderful out there.

Taglines

 * Have The Time Of Your Life
 * First dance. First love. The time of your life.
 * Dancing to the beat of their hearts.

Cast

 * Patrick Swayze - Johnny Castle
 * Jennifer Grey - Frances "Baby" Houseman
 * Jerry Orbach - Dr. Jake Houseman
 * Kelly Bishop - Marjorie "Marge" Houseman
 * Jane Brucker - Lisa Houseman
 * Cynthia Rhodes - Penny Johnson
 * Jack Weston - Max Kellerman
 * Max Cantor - Robbie Gould
 * Lonny Price - Neil Kellerman
 * Wayne Knight - Stan

title: Dirty Dancing


text:
User talk:203.199.198.246

Hi. I have reverted your changes to Atheism. The decision which quotes are good and which aren't should be made by readers, not by wikiquote, following NPOV policy. Quotes are usually ordered alphabetically. Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 09:10, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:203.199.198.246


text:
User talk:Palamides~enwikiquote

Thanks for clearing up the German proverb! ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 13:52, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Palamides. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Palamides~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:31, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:54, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Palamides~enwikiquote


text:
Clerks (film)

Clerks is a 1994 film about two clerks: one who works in a convenience store and the other in a video rental store. They have an unusual day at work when dealing with girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, protesters, drug dealers and—worst of all—the customers.
 * Written and directed by Kevin Smith

Dante Hicks

 * I'm not even supposed to be here today.
 * Hey, try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!
 * Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

Randal Graves

 * I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule.
 * Everybody who comes in here is way too uptight. This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.
 * Shit, my mom's been fucking a dead guy for 30 years. I call him Dad.
 * Bunch of savages in this town.

Others

 * Jay: I feel good today, Silent Bob. We're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, we're gonna get some pussy, and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, I'll fuck this bitch, I'll fuck anything that moves! [to a man passing by on a bicycle] Yo, what the fuck you lookin' at? I'll kick your fuckin' ass! Shit yeah. [to Silent Bob] Doesn't that mother fucker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fuckin' tonight, we're gonna rip off this fucker's head, and tear out his fuckin' soul. Remind me if he tries to buy something, I'm gonna shit in the motherfucker's bag. [to two women in a passing car] Hey, what's up babes? What's up, sluts?

 * Silent Bob: You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.

 * Female Customer: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

 * Customer: Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie that was out last year?

Dialogue

 * Veronica: You men make me feel sick. You'll sleep with anything that says yes.
 * Dante: Animal, mineral or vegetable.
 * Veronica: Vegetable, meaning paraplegic.
 * Dante: They put up the least amount of struggle.

 * Veronica: [after talking to William] That was Snowball.
 * Dante: Why do you call him that?
 * Veronica: Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job thing.
 * Dante: What do you mean?
 * Veronica: After he gets a blow job, he likes to have it spit back into his mouth while kissing. It's called snowballing.
 * Dante: He requests this?
 * Veronica: He gets off on it.
 * Dante: Sylvan can be talked into anything.
 * Veronica: Why do you say that?
 * Dante: Like you said, she snowballed him.
 * Veronica: Sylvan? No, I snowballed him.
 * Dante: Yeah, right.
 * Veronica: I'm serious.
 * Dante: You sucked that guy's dick!?
 * Veronica: Yeah, how do you think I knew that he...
 * Dante: Wait, but you said you only had sex with three different guys! You never mentioned him.
 * Veronica: Because I never had sex with him.
 * Dante: You sucked his dick!
 * Veronica: We went out a few times. We never had sex, but we fooled around.
 * Dante: Oh, my God! Why did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys?
 * Veronica: Because I did only have sex with three different guys! That doesn't mean I didn't just go with people.
 * Dante: Oh, my God, I feel so nauseous.
 * Veronica: Sorry, Dante, I thought you understood.
 * Dante: I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!
 * Veronica: Please calm down.
 * Dante: How many?
 * Veronica: Dante!
 * Dante: How many dicks have you sucked?
 * Veronica: Let it go!
 * Dante: How many?
 * Veronica: All right! Shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you fucked!
 * Dante: This is different! This is important! How many? [A customer comes up to the counter and Dante helps her while Veronica does some math] Well?
 * Veronica: Um... something like 36.
 * Dante: WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE 36!?
 * Veronica: Lower your voice.
 * Dante: Wait, what is that anyway, "something like 36?" Does that include me?
 * Veronica: Um... 37.
 * Dante: I'M 37!?
 * Veronica: I'm going to class.
 * Dante: Oh, my God. [customer walks up to pay] 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
 * Customer: In a row?

 * Caitlin: Can I use your bathroom?
 * Randal: Sure. But there's no lights back there.
 * Caitlin: Why aren't there any lights?
 * Randal: Well, there are, but for some reason they stop working at 5:14 every night.
 * Caitlin: You're kidding. Why?
 * Randal: Nobody can figure it out. The boss doesn't wanna pay the electrician to fix it, 'cause the electrician owes money to the video store.
 * Caitlin: Such a sordid state of affairs.
 * Randal: And I'm caught in the middle - torn between my loyalty for the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.
 * Caitlin: Well, I'll try to manage.
 * Randal: Oh, hey Caitlin, break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal.
 * Caitlin: You are very protective of him, Randal. You always have been.
 * Randal: Territoriality. He was mine first.
 * Caitlin: Oh, that was so cute.

 * Chewlies Gum Rep: You're spending what? 20, maybe $30.00 a week on your cigarettes?
 * Angry Smoking Crowd: Yeah.
 * Woolen Cap Smoker: 40.
 * Smoker #1: Something like that.
 * Smoker #2: 53.
 * Chewlies Gum Rep: $53.00 a week on cigarettes?! Come on! Would you give somebody that much money each week to kill you? 'Cause that's what you're doing now, by paying for this so-called privilege to smoke.
 * Angry Smoking Crowd: Hey, man, we gotta croak sometime.
 * Chewlies Gum Rep: It's that kinda mentality that allows the cancer-producing industry to thrive. Course we're all gonna die some day. But do we have to pay for it? Do we have to actually throw hard-earned dollars down on the counter and say, "Please Mr. Merchant-of-Death, please, sell me something that'll stink up my breath and my clothes and fry my lungs."
 * Dante: Now wait a second!
 * Chewlies Gum Rep: Yeah. Yeah, now here comes the speech about how he's just doing his job by following orders. Friends, let me tell you about another group of hate mongers that were just following orders.
 * Angry Smoking Crowd: Who's that?
 * Chewlies Gum Rep: They were called Nazis!
 * Woolen Cap Smoker: Nazis, that's right.
 * Angry Smoking Crowd: Fuckin' Nazi!
 * Chewlies Gum Rep: Yeah, and they practically wiped an entire nation of people off the Earth just like your cigarettes are doing now.

 * Mother: Excuse me, do you sell videos?
 * Randal: Yeah. What're you looking for?
 * Mother: Happy Scrappy: Hero Pup.
 * Randal: Uh, one second. I'm on the phone with the distribution house now. Let me make sure they got it. What's it called again?
 * Mother: Happy Scrappy: Hero Pup.
 * Child: Happy Scrappy.
 * Mother: She loves it.
 * Randal: Obviously. [to the distributor] Uh, yeah, hi, this is RST Video calling, customer number 4352, I'd like to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: Whispers in the Wind, To Each His Own, Put It Where It Doesn't Belong, My Pipes Need Cleaning, All Tit-Fucking, Volume 8, I Need Your Cock, Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers, My Cunt Needs Shafts, Cum Clean, Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts, Cum Buns 3, Cumming in Socks, Cum On Eileen, Huge Black Cocks with Pearly White Cum, Girls Who Crave Cock, Girls Who Crave Cunt, Men Alone 2: The KY Connection, Pink Pussy Lips, oh yeah, and, uh, All Holes Filled with Hard Cock. Yep. Oh, wait a minute. [to the mother] Uh, what was that called again?

 * Dante: You know, that article's accurate. Caitlin's really getting married!
 * Randal: You know what I just watched?
 * Dante: Me pulling a can off some moron's fist?
 * Randal: Return of the Jedi.
 * Dante: Didn't you hear me? Caitlin is really getting married!
 * Randal: Which did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?
 * Dante: Empire.
 * Randal: Blasphemy.
 * Dante: Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father—uh, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.
 * Randal: There was something else going on in Jedi. I ever noticed it till today. They built another Death Star, right?
 * Dante: Yeah.
 * Randal: Now, the first one was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
 * Dante: Luke blew it up, give credit where credit is due.
 * Randal: And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
 * Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
 * Randal: Something just never sat right with me that second time around. I could never put my figure on it, but something just wasn't right.
 * Dante: And you figured it out?
 * Randal: The first Death Star was manned by the Imperial Army. The only people onboard were stormtroopers, dignitaries—Imperials.
 * Dante: Basically.
 * Randal: So, when they blew it up, no problem. Evil's punished.
 * Dante: And the second time around?
 * Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even done being built yet. It was still under construction.
 * Dante: So?
 * Randal: So, a construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers—
 * Dante: And not just Imperials, is that what you're getting at?
 * Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
 * Dante: All right, so they bring in independent contractors. Why are you so upset with its destruction?
 * Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do the job were killed! Casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. All right, look, you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.
 * Roofer: Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but what are you two talking about?
 * Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
 * Dante: My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when it was destroyed by the Rebels.
 * Roofer: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer—Dunn and Ready Home Improvements—and speaking as a roofer, I can tell you; a roofer's personal politics comes into play heavily when choosing jobs.
 * Randal: Oh yeah, like when?
 * Roofer: Three weeks ago, I was offered a job up in the hills. Beautiful house, tons of property—a simple reshingling job! They told me if I could finish it in one day, I would double my price. Then I realized whose house it was.
 * Randal: Whose house was it?
 * Roofer: Dominic Bambino's.
 * Randal: "Baby-Face" Bambino, the gangster?
 * Roofer: The same! The money was right, but the risk was too high. I knew who he was, and based on that, I turned the job over to a friend of mine.
 * Dante: [to Randal] Based on his personal politics.
 * Roofer: Right! And the next week, the Floressi Family puts out a hit on Baby-Face's house! My friend was shot and killed; didn't even finish reshingling!
 * Randal: No way.
 * Roofer: I'm alive because I knew the risk involved with that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved; if they got killed, it's their own fault. A roofer listens to this [pointing to his heart], not his wallet.

 * Video Store Customer: [holding two videos] They say so much, but they never tell you if they're any good. Are either one of these any good? Sir?
 * Randal: What?
 * Video Store Customer: Are either one of these any good?
 * Randal: I don't watch movies.
 * Video Store Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?
 * Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
 * Video Store Customer: You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?
 * Randal: Nope.
 * [The customer turns around and then holds up the same two movies.]
 * Video Store Customer: Well, what about these two?
 * Randal: Oh, they suck.
 * Video Store Customer: These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention!
 * Randal: No, I wasn't.
 * Video Store Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate—
 * Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
 * Video Store Customer: I beg your pardon?
 * Randal: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
 * Video Store Customer: I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying!
 * Randal: And I hope it feels good.
 * Video Store Customer: You hope what feels good?
 * Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
 * Video Store Customer: Well, this is the last time I rent here!
 * Randal: You'll be missed.
 * Video Store Customer: Screw you! [leaves]
 * Randal: [runs to door] Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore!
 * Jay [standing outside]: Yeeaahhh!
 * Randal: Screw me?

 * Dante: Did you ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.
 * Randal: [looking at a pornographic magazine] You know how much wage the average jizz-mopper make per hour?
 * Dante: What's a jizz-mopper?
 * Randal: He's the guy that cleans up the nudie-booths after each guy that jerks off.
 * Dante: Nudie booth?
 * RandalYeah, nudie booth. You've never been to a nudie booth?
 * Dante I guess not.
 * Randal: Oh man, it's great. You go into this booth and there's this glass between you and these chicks, and they put on a show for you for like ten bucks.
 * Dante: What kind of show?
 * Randal: Think of the weirdest, craziest shit you'd like to see chicks do. These chicks do it all.  They insert things into any opening on their body.  Any opening!
 * Dante: Can we not talk about this now?
 * Randal: The jizz-mopper's job is to clean it up after each guy shoots a load, practically everybody does it right on the window, and I don't know if you noticed or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.
 * Highly-Offended Customer: I will never come to this place again.
 * Dante: Excuse me?
 * Highly-Offended Customer: Using filthy language in front of the customers. You both should be fired!
 * Dante: I'm sorry. I guess we kinda got carried away.
 * Highly-Offended Customer: Well, I don't know if 'sorry' can make up for it. You've highly offended me.
 * Randal: Well, you think that's offensive, check this out! [shows customer the magazine's centerfold; as the customer runs out, screaming] I think you can see her kidneys.

 * [Dante has just found out his ex-girlfriend died]
 * Dante: You gotta watch the store. I gotta go to this.
 * Randal: Wait, wait, wait. Has it ever occurred to you that I might be bereaved as well?
 * Dante: You hardly knew her!
 * Randal: True, but do you know how many people are gonna be there? All of our old classmates, to say the least.
 * Dante: Stop, this is beneath even you.
 * Randal: I'm not gonna miss what is probably gonna be the social event of the season.
 * Dante: You hate people!
 * Randal: But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?

 * [while driving to Julie's wake]
 * Dante: Thanks for puttin’ me in such a tough spot. You're a good friend.
 * Randal: She was pretty young, huh?
 * Dante: Twenty-two. Just like us.
 * Randal: An embolism in a pool.
 * Dante: What an embarrassing way to die.
 * Randal: That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died.
 * Dante: How'd he die?
 * Randal: He broke his neck.
 * Dante: That's embarrassing?
 * Randal: He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.
 * Dante: Shut the hell up.
 * Randal: I swear.
 * Dante: Stop it.
 * Randal: Bible truth.
 * Dante: Oh, my God.
 * Randal: Come on. Haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?
 * Dante: No!
 * Randal: Yeah, right. You're so repressed.
 * Dante: Because I never tried to suck my own dick?
 * Randal: No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a fuckin’ pervert because he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it.
 * Dante: Who found him?
 * Randal: My cousin? My aunt found him. It was a mess. He was on his bed, with his legs doubled over himself. My aunt freaked out.
 * Dante: Man, he had his dick in his mouth?
 * Randal: Yeah. Balls restin’ on his lips.
 * Dante: Wow! He really made it.
 * Randal: Yeah, but at what a price?
 * Dante: I could never reach.
 * Randal: Reach what?
 * Dante: Y’know.
 * Randal: What, your dick?
 * Dante: Yeah, like you said. I guess everyone gets curious and tries it sometime.
 * Randal: I never tried it. Fuckin’ pervert.

 * [Dante and Randal have just returned from Julie’s wake]
 * Dante: I can't fuckin’ believe you!
 * Randal: I'm tellin’ you, it wasn't my fault!
 * Dante: You knocked the casket over, for christ's sake!
 * Randal: I was just leanin’ on it, It was an accident!
 * Dante: Like someone knocks a casket over on purpose!
 * Randal: So the casket fell over, big deal!
 * Dante: Her fuckin’ body fell out!
 * Randal: Just put it back in. It's not like it matters if she breaks somethin’!
 * Dante: Just go. Just go open the video store!
 * Jay : ''[offscreen] Yeah, open the video store!
 * Randal: Shut the fuck up, junkie.
 * [Jay comes over and lifts his leg to fart on Randal. Dante stops Randal and tells him to open RST.]
 * Dante: Just go. Just go open the video store.
 * Jay: '' Yeah, cock-smoking clerk!
 * Dante: And, how many times have I told you not to be dealing in front of the store?
 * Jay: I’m not dealin’, man. What you talkin’ ‘bout?
 * Customer: Yo, you got anything, man?
 * Jay: Yeah, man. What you want, man?

 * Dante: You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up. You get us thrown out of a funeral by violating a corpse, and then to top it all off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank? You know what the real tragedy about all this is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!
 * Randal: Oh fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go. Trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex-girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You want to blame somebody? Blame yourself! [mimicking] 'I'm not even supposed to be here today.' You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulders, like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you over-compensate for havin' what's basically a monkey's job. You push fuckin' buttons! Anybody could waltz in here and do our jobs. You, you're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante, and badly, I might add. I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man, he has no delusions about what he does, what he is. Us? We like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper or God forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fuckin' advanced, what are we doin' working here?

Taglines

 * Just because they serve you doesn't mean they like you
 * A very funny look at the over-the-counter culture.
 * "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" - Dante
 * This Job Sucks
 * It Delivers.

Cast

 * Brian O'Halloran — Dante Hicks
 * Jeff Anderson — Randal Graves
 * Marilyn Ghigliotti — Veronica Loughran
 * Lisa Spoonhauer — Caitlin Bree
 * Jason Mewes — Jay
 * Kevin Smith — Silent Bob

title: Clerks (film)


text:
User talk:Donald Antonini

May I say excellent work on Clerks. I am a Kevin Smith fan, and I am happy to see a New Jersey film get a page worthy of it :) I have edited the page to add a category (generic "films", since I am not sure how to genreize Kevin Smith) ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 14:22, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:Donald Antonini


text:
Peter Corey

Peter Frederick George Corey (1946 – 10 April 2019) was a British writer, actor and comedian. Corey was the author of the Coping With children's book series.

Coping With Parents (1989)

 * Life with a Jolly Parent is a bit like life in a holiday camp. The beds are too small and there's an outbreak of Salmonella every five minutes.

Coping With Teachers (1991)

 * Flash Teacher: How to spot: He'll be the only member of staff who drives a customized Lada.

Coping With Christmas (1999)

 * For a start, let's look at the Grotto itself. By and large these are extremely aptly named, 'Grot' meaning rubbish and 'Oh' being exclamation of disappointed surprise.

Coping with Cash (2000)

 * There are two distinct types of bike: The one you save up for and buy yourself, otherwise known as the 'Dream Machine' , and the one your parents buy for you, otherwise known as the 'Complete waste of space'.

 * It's easy to forget you are in debt to the tune of £10, and to a woman who never forgets anything. Crikey, she can even tell you which Coronation Street character was the first one to have their brain removed (Footnote: And not have it replaced by acting talent unfortunately.)

The A-Z of Absolutely Everything (1990)

 * Fishing is a jerk at one end of a line waiting for a jerk at the other end of a line.

title: Peter Corey