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Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Season 5

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997–2003), created by Joss Whedon, was a television series about Buffy Summers, a teenage girl chosen by fate to battle against vampires, demons, and other supernatural foes. She is often aided by her Watcher and her circle of friends. Season 5 aired on The WB from 2000 to 2001.

Buffy vs. Dracula

 * Buffy: So let me get this straight. You're... Dracula. The guy. The Count.
 * Dracula: I am.
 * Buffy: And you're sure this isn't just some fanboy thing? Because... I've fought more than a couple of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.
 * Dracula: You know who I am. As I would know without question that you are Buffy Summers.
 * Buffy: You've heard of me?
 * Dracula: Naturally. You're known throughout the world.
 * Buffy: Naw. Really?
 * Dracula: Why else would I come here? For the sun? I came to meet the renowned... killer.
 * Buffy: Yeah, I prefer the term Slayer. You know, killer just sounds so...
 * Dracula: Naked?
 * Buffy: Like I... paint clowns or something. I'm the good guy, remember?
 * Dracula: Perhaps, but your power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it.
 * Buffy: No. You know what I feel? Bored.
 * [She attempts to stake Dracula, but he repeatedly dissipates into mist to avoid her]
 * Buffy: Okay. That's cheating.

 * Riley: What can you tell me about Dracula?
 * Spike: Dracula? [scoffs] Poncy bugger owes me £11, for one thing.
 * Riley: You know him?
 * Spike: Know him? We're old rivals. But then he got famous, forgot all about his foes. I'll tell you what - that glory hound's done more harm to vampires than any Slayer. His story gets out, and suddenly everybody knows how to kill us, the mirror bit...!
 * Riley: But he's not just a regular vampire. He has special powers, right?
 * Spike: Nothing but showy Gypsy stuff. What's it to you, anyway?
 * Riley: He's in town, making his presence known.
 * Spike: [more intrigued] Drac's in Sunnydale? Guess the old boy needed closure after all.

 * Xander: Where is he?! Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?
 * Buffy: He's gone.
 * Xander: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap! I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!
 * Buffy: Check. No more butt-monkey.

 * [as the mist coalesces into Dracula, Buffy re-stakes him.]
 * Buffy: You think I don't watch your movies? You always come back.
 * [Dracula turns to dust again, but the mist begins to reform on the ground]
 * Buffy: I'm standing right here!
 * [The mist dissipates completely this time]

 * Buffy: I'm out of here. Riley and I are going to the movies.
 * Joyce: Okay. Have a good time.
 * [Buffy finds her sister named Dawn in her room]
 * Buffy: What are you doing here?
 * Joyce: Buffy? If you're going out, why don't you take your sister?
 * Buffy and Dawn: [together] Mom!

Real Me

 * [Dawn is writing in her diary.]
 * Dawn: [voice over] Nobody knows who I am. Not the real me. It's like nobody cares enough to find out. I mean, does anyone ever ask me what I want to do with my life, or what my opinion is on stuff, or what restaurant to order in from? No. Underline, Exclamation point. Exclamation point, exclamation point. No one understands. No one has an older sister who's a Slayer. People wouldn't be so crazy about her if they had to live in the same house with her every single day. Everybody cares what she thinks, just 'cause she can do backflips and stuff. Like that's such a crucial job skill in the real world. Plus, Mom lets her get away with everything. "Your sister's saving the world." I could so save the world if somebody handed me superpowers, but I'd think of a cool name and wear a mask to protect my loved ones, which Buffy doesn't even. If this town wasn't so lame, everyone would completely know what she does. And then I bet they wouldn't even be that impressed, because, like, killing things with wood? Oh. Scary vampires. They die from a splinter.

 * Buffy: So Giles and I worked out a whole schedule around school, a block of time every day just to focus on my new Slayer training.
 * Willow: That's a work ethic! Buffy, you're developing a work ethic!
 * Buffy: Oh no, do they make an ointment for that?
 * Willow: People gotta respect a solid work ethic.
 * Buffy: So... I won't be taking drama with you.
 * Willow: What? You have to, you promised!
 * Buffy: Well, I know, but Giles says that it just -
 * Willow: The hell with Giles!
 * Giles: I can hear you, Willow.
 * Willow: Drama is just Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, you can blow off training Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, can't you?
 * Buffy: What happened to you people gotta respect a work ethic?
 * Willow: Other people, not me! There's a whole best-friend loophole!
 * Willow: Other people, not me! There's a whole best-friend loophole!

 * [Xander and Anya are playing Life with Dawn.]
 * Anya: Crap! Look at this. I'm burdened with a husband, and several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage…
 * Xander: That means you're winning.
 * Anya: Really?
 * Xander: Yes. Cash equals good.
 * Anya: Oh! [claps] I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?

 * [Buffy, having killed Harmony's vampire minions, grabs an ax to cut Dawn free from her chains.]
 * Buffy: You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home! [swings ax]
 * Dawn: Yeah, well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me.
 * Buffy: Fine. I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night, [swings ax] that you got Anya hurt, [swings ax] invited a vampire in, [swings ax] got kidnapped.

 * [Giles and Buffy tour the magic shop Giles is about to buy]
 * Buffy: Giles, are you sure about this?
 * Giles: Why wouldn't I be?
 * Buffy: Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer... and have you ever run a store before?
 * Giles: I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except people pay for the things they don't return. It'll give me focus, increase my resources. And it'll prevent you lot from trampling all over my flat at all hours. There may even be some space for you to train in the back.
 * Buffy: Boy, you've really thought this through... How bored were you last year?
 * Giles: I watched Passions with Spike. Let us never speak of it.
 * [Buffy breaks out laughing as she follows Giles into a back room]

The Replacement

 * [Xander is leaving a message on the phone.]
 * Xander: Anya, you there? Look, I know you're still mad, but I figure you're probably sitting there pretending you're not home but listening anyway.
 * [cut to Anya, who is doing just that.]
 * Anya: Am not.

 * Willow: You have to help me figure this out, you know.
 * Xander: But I never help. I get in trouble and Buffy saves me.
 * Willow: That's not true, sometimes we all help to save you... And-and sometimes you're not in trouble.
 * Xander: Hey, wait 'til you have an evil twin, see how you handle it.
 * Willow: I handled it fine.
 * Willow: I handled it fine.

 * Buffy: Well, if this guy wants to fight with weapons, I've got it covered from A to Z — from 'axe' to... 'zee other axe'.

 * Anya: Well maybe we shouldn't do this re-integration thing right away. See, I can take the boys home and we can all have sex together, and then, you know, just slap 'em back together in the morning.
 * Cool Xander: She's joking.
 * Loser Xander: No she's not! She entirely wants to have sex with us together, which is wrong and... and it would be very confusing.
 * Giles: We just need to arrange the candles; also, we should continue to pretend we heard none of the disturbing sex talk.
 * Willow: Check. Candles and pretense.
 * Anya: Well, what do we do if it doesn't work?
 * Both Xanders: [simultaneously] Kill us both, Spock! [both laugh]
 * Buffy: They're... kinda the same now.
 * Giles: Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.
 * Giles: Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.

 * [Xander is moving out of the basement.]
 * Xander: I just thought you could help carry a little.
 * Anya: Me? [pouts] Buffy has super-strength. Why don't we just load her up, like one of those little horses?
 * Xander: Anya. Please.
 * Anya: Fine. I'm just your slave.

Out of My Mind

 * Buffy: Spike, I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.
 * Spike: It's blood. It's what I do!

 * Spike: I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice... and drink deep. [turns around and falls into an open grave] Ow!

 * Buffy: I so don't want to deal with Spike right now. The guy is really starting to bug me in that special "I want to shove something wooden through his heart" kind of way.

 * Spike: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn she's there! That nasty little face, that bouncing shampoo-commercial hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude.
 * Harmony: Well, aren't we unholy by definition?
 * Spike: She follows me, you know, tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike around the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout o' torture! [Spike throws a lapid and break it]
 * Harmony: Spike?!

 * Doctor: [To Harmony] You can't smoke in here
 * Harmony: [Holding a Crossbow] Oh yeah, says who? [Doctor points to a "No Smoking" sign] Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see the sign.

No Place Like Home

 * Big Vampire: I've always wanted to kill the Slayer.
 * Buffy: And I've always wanted piano lessons. So really... who's surprised we've got this unexpressed rage? But honestly, I think I express mine better. Tell you what... you find yourself a good anger management class, and I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart.

 * Buffy: [pulls a glowing orb out of her bag] What the hell is it?
 * Giles: It appears to be paranormal in origin.
 * Willow: How can you tell?
 * Giles: Well, it's so shiny.

 * Anya: [to a customer who just finished her purchase] Please go.
 * Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called. They wanted me to tell you that "Please go" just got replaced with "Have a nice day."
 * Anya: But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?
 * Xander: No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace it.

 * Buffy: What are you doing here? [Spike begins to answer] Five words or less.
 * Spike: [Pauses, then, counting on his fingers] Out... for... a... walk... bitch.
 * Buffy: Out for a walk by my house at night. I don't have time for this, William.
 * Spike: On your merry way, then. Contrary to one's self involved world view, your house happens to be directly between... parts and... other parts of this town. And I would pass by in the day but I feel I'm outgrowing my burst into flames phase.
 * Buffy: Fine. Keep going. I'll cut you a break.
 * Spike: Let me guess. You won't kill me. The whole crowd pleasing threats and swagger routine. Outstandingly original. You know, I was just passing through. Satisfied? I hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in your life besides shagging Captain Cardboard. And... and I never really liked you anyway. And... and you have stupid hair.

 * Glory: And another thing I just want you to know, this whole "beat you to death" thing I'm doing? This is valuable time out of life I'm never gonna get back.
 * Glory: Wait, I've always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms, where if you have one and you rip it in half, you get two worms. Do you think that'll work with you? [Buffy headbutts her] Ow! You hit me. What are you crazy? You can't go around hitting people. What were you, born in a barn? Fine, be that way! [grabs Buffy by the throat] I just noticed something, you have superpowers, that is so cool. Can you fly? [throws Buffy across the room]
 * Glory: Wait, I've always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms, where if you have one and you rip it in half, you get two worms. Do you think that'll work with you? [Buffy headbutts her] Ow! You hit me. What are you crazy? You can't go around hitting people. What were you, born in a barn? Fine, be that way! [grabs Buffy by the throat] I just noticed something, you have superpowers, that is so cool. Can you fly? [throws Buffy across the room]

Family

 * Buffy: Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.

 * Tara: You learn her source [grins] and, uh, we'll introduce her to her insect reflection.
 * [Everyone stares in confusion. Tara stops smiling.]
 * Tara: Um, that-that was funny if you, um, studied Taglarin mythic rites… [quietly] and are a complete dork.
 * Riley: Oh, then how come Xander didn't laugh?
 * Xander: I don't know that Taglarin stuff.

 * Giles: You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
 * Xander: Well, we don't really know what kind of things witches like. What, are we gonna get her some cheesy crystal ball?
 * Giles: You bloody well better not. I've got mine already wrapped.

 * Buffy: You want her, Mr. Maclay? You can go ahead and take her. You just gotta go through me.
 * Mr. Maclay: What?
 * Buffy: You heard me! You wanna take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me.
 * Dawn: And me!
 * Mr. Maclay: Is this a joke? I'm not gonna be threatened by two little girls!
 * Dawn: You don't wanna mess with us.
 * Buffy: She's a hair-puller.
 * Giles: And you're not just dealing with two little girls.
 * Xander: You're dealing with all of us.
 * Spike: Except me.
 * Xander: Except Spike.
 * Spike: I don't care what happens.

 * Mr. Maclay: This is insane. You people have no right to interfere with Tara's affairs. We are her blood kin! Who the hell are you?
 * Buffy: We're family.

Fool for Love

 * Xander: [re: Riley’s commando hand movements] What's with the hand move? D’you see that? Does that, like, mean somethin’?
 * Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to "choo-choo." [mimics pulling a train whistle]
 * Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
 * Xander: Hey Riley! What's the [Mimics gesture] all about?
 * Riley: It means yell real loud, so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.

 * Buffy: Look, I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto. If there were just a few good descriptions of what took out the other Slayers, maybe it would help me to understand my mistake, to keep it from happening again.
 * Giles [uncomfortable with the topic]: Yes, well, the problem is after a final battle, it's difficult to get any... well, the Slayer's not... she's rather...
 * Buffy: It's OK to use the D-word, Giles.
 * Giles: Dead. And hence, not very forthcoming.
 * Buffy: Why didn't the Watchers keep fuller accounts of it? The journals just stop.
 * Giles: Well, I suppose if they're anything like me they just find the whole subject too—
 * Buffy: Unseemly? Damn, love ya, but you Watchers are such prigs sometimes.
 * Giles: Painful, I was going to say. [Giles and Buffy are very quiet for a moment] But you're right; accounts of the final battles would be very helpful. But there's no one left to tell the tales.
 * [Buffy has a sudden revelation]
 * Giles: What?

 * Spike: Lesson the first: a Slayer must always reach for her weapon. [morphs into vampire face] I've already got mine.

 * Spike: How many of my kind do you think you've done?
 * Buffy: Not enough.
 * Spike: Mm-hmm. And we just keep comin'. But you can kill a hundred, a thousand, a thousand thousand and the armies of Hell besides, and all we need is for one of us, just one, sooner or later, to have the thing we're all hoping for.
 * Buffy: And that would be what?
 * Spike: [whispers in her ear] One... good... day.

 * Spike: The first was all business, but the second -- she had a touch of your style. She was cunning, resourceful... oh, did I mention? Hot. I could have danced all night with that one.
 * Buffy: You think we're dancing?
 * Spike: That's all we've ever done. And the thing about the dance is, you never get to stop. Every day you wake up, it's the same bloody question that haunts you: "Is today the day I die?" Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: "What's it like? Where does it lead you?" And now, you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw, or the kicks you didn't land. She merely wanted it. Every Slayer... has a death wish.
 * [in a flashback, Spike snaps Nikki’s neck]
 * Spike: Even you. The only reason you've lasted as long as you have is you've got ties to the world...your mum, your brat kid sister, the Scoobies. They all tie you here, but you're just putting off the inevitable. Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second - that happens...You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day. Here endeth the lesson. I just wonder if you'll like it as much as she did.

Shadow

 * Xander: Am I right, Giles?
 * Giles: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

 * Anya: I for one didn't want to start my day with a slaughter... Which really just goes to show how much I've grown!

 * [Anya is looking over the day's receipts]
 * Anya: Hey. Hey! HEY! HEY!!!
 * Giles: Anya, your "heys" are startling the customers.
 * Xander: And pretty much the state!
 * Anya: You sold somebody a Kohl's amulet and a Sobekian bloodstone!
 * Giles: Yes, I believe I did.
 * Anya: Are you stupid or something?
 * Giles: Allow me to answer that question with a firing.
 * Xander: She's kidding. An, we talked about the employee-employer vocabulary no-nos. That was number five.

 * Xander: Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers.
 * Anya: Great! Thank you very much for those nightmares.

 * Spike: Okay, how 'bout this one. Twice in recent memory, she's had the lover-wiccas do a deinvite on the house. Keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list?
 * Riley: Because you're harmless.
 * Spike: Oh yeah, right. Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What do you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't like you ... but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.

Listening to Fear

 * Dr. Kriegel: Joyce, there's no reason to get upset.
 * Joyce: No reason to get upset? Oh, right, sorry, I must just think there is because of my brain tumor!

 * Riley: Oh, that might be toxic, don't touch it.
 * Xander: Oh yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily, I've moved on to my second, which involves dry-heaving and running like hell.

 * Willow: Something evil crashed to earth in this and then broke out and ... slithered away to do badness.
 * Giles: In all fairness, we don't really know about the slithered part.
 * Anya: Oh, no. I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.

 * Xander: Look at how teeny Mercury is compared to, like, Saturn. Whereas in contrast, the cars of the same name...
 * Giles: Xander, please, we have work to do.
 * Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
 * Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space... I did not just say that.

 * Joyce: Dawn... she's not mine is she?
 * Buffy: No.
 * Joyce: She's... she does belong to us though.
 * Buffy: Yes, she does.
 * Joyce: And she's important... to the world, precious. As precious as you are to me... Then we have to take care of her. Buffy, promise me, if anything happens, if I don't come through this-
 * Buffy: Mom-
 * Joyce: No, listen to me. No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her, that you'll keep her safe, that you'll love her like I love you.
 * Buffy: I promise.

Into the Woods

 * Dawn: Alone time always translates into let's get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud, obnoxious sex.
 * Anya: [to Xander] Does that mean we can't?

 * Anya: That's so very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon! I can just hear you in private: [speaking to a chicken foot] "I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal."
 * Willow: Anya, I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.

 * Spike: Look at you, all afraid I'm hot for your honey.
 * Riley: Because you are.
 * Spike: Well, yeah. But that's not your problem, even if I wasn't in the picture you're never going to be able to hold onto her. [Riley sticks his finger into the hole he's just made in Spike's chest] Oh! Bloody hell!
 * Riley: Maybe I didn't almost kill you enough.

 * Riley: They want me back Buffy, the military. It's deep undercover. No contact with civilians. Transport's leaving tonight.
 * Buffy: Tonight? When were you going to tell me about this?
 * Riley: I'm telling you now.
 * Riley: I'm leaving, Buffy. Unless you give me reason to stay.
 * Buffy: What more do you want from me Riley? I've given you everything I have. My heart, my body and soul... and if that isn't enough for you then we really have a problem
 * Buffy: What more do you want from me Riley? I've given you everything I have. My heart, my body and soul... and if that isn't enough for you then we really have a problem

 * Xander: [to Anya] I've gotta say something, 'cause I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do, the way you think, the way you move. I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life... like a man. I just thought you might like to know.

Triangle

 * Anya: Well, I get to run the store, right?
 * Giles: [alarmed] You? Ah, w-well, it's quite a lot for one person to take care of.
 * Willow: We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane.
 * Tara: I said "quirky."
 * Giles: Um, Anya, while, while I completely trust you uh, uh, to take care of the inventory and the money, um ... dealing with people requires a certain, uh ... finesse.
 * Anya: [angrily] I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom! I can completely lie to the health inspector. I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles, and-and bribe him with money and goods.
 * Xander: See there? She'll be great.
 * Willow: Don't worry, Giles. I'll help her take care of everything. It'll be ship-shape. Better, it'll be shop-shape.
 * Xander: See there? She'll be great.
 * Willow: Don't worry, Giles. I'll help her take care of everything. It'll be ship-shape. Better, it'll be shop-shape.

 * Olaf: You do well to flee, townspeople! I will pillage your lands and dwellings! I will burn your crops and make merry sport with your more attractive daughters, mark my words!

 * Spike: Hey, watch it, mate.
 * [Spike turns to look up at Olaf. Both he and Xander stare.]
 * Spike: On second thought, do what you like.
 * Xander: So, uh, think I should run and get Buffy?
 * Olaf: Barmaid, bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat.
 * Xander: I'm gonna run and get Buffy. Or maybe you could fight him.
 * Spike: Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.
 * Spike: Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.

 * Willow: Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like, like... trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it. Which is a weird image and you should all just forget it.
 * Anya: It's possible that he's in the land of perpetual Wednesday, or the crazy melty land, or, you know, the world without shrimp.
 * Tara: There's a world without shrimp? [pause] I-I'm allergic.

 * Giles: I cringe to think what the place would have looked like if I'd been away for longer than three days.
 * Buffy: Well, maybe we would have had time to clean it up. You know, if Willow used some magicks to help.
 * Giles: Yes, 'cause nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

Checkpoint

 * Tara: W-what's so bad about them coming here? Aren't they good guys? I mean, watchers: that's just like other Giles-es, right?
 * Buffy: Yeah, they're scary and horrible!

 * Nigel: I need to know a little bit more about the Slayer, and about the both of you. Your relationship, whatever you can tell me.
 * Tara: O-o-our relationship?
 * Willow: We're friends.
 * Tara: Good friends.
 * Willow: Girlfriends, actually.
 * Tara: Yes, we're girlfriends.
 * Willow: We're in love. We're... lovers. [puts hand on Tara's knee] We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
 * Nigel: I meant your relationship with the Slayer.
 * Tara: [hastily] Um, just good friends. [Willow takes her hand off Tara's knee.]

 * Buffy: Remember,-
 * Spike: Yeah, yeah. "Hurt them and I'll stake you good and proper". Sing me a new one sometime. That one's gone stale.

 * Buffy: I've had a lot of people talking at me the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them. Glory ... came to my home today.
 * Giles: [alarmed] Buffy, are you-
 * Buffy: Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning.
 * Buffy: You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal. So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary...
 * Giles: [coughing] Retroactive.
 * Giles: [coughing] Retroactive.

 * Buffy: Just tell me what kind of demon I'm fighting.
 * Quentin Travers: Well, that's the thing, you see. Glory isn't a demon.
 * Buffy: What is she?
 * Quentin: She's a god.
 * Buffy: [stunned] Oh.

Blood Ties

 * Willow: Well, you know what they say, the bigger they are-
 * Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothing.

 * Buffy: How was school today?
 * Dawn: The usual, big square building filled with boredom and despair.
 * Buffy: Just how I remember it.

 * Dawn: I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right?
 * Buffy: Glory is evil. And powerful. And in no way prettier than me.

 * [Spike is sitting on a coffin, painting his nails when Buffy comes in]
 * Spike: Morning sunshine, if you've come round for eggs and sausages, afraid I'm fresh out.
 * [Buffy pulls the top of the coffin from under him]
 * Spike: Careful, these are wet.

 * Buffy: Are you okay? Did she hurt you?
 * Dawn: Why do you care?
 * Buffy: Because I love you, you're my sister.
 * Dawn: No I'm not.
 * Buffy: Yes you are. [holds Dawn's hand] It's blood, Summers blood, it's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here, you are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
 * Buffy: I have to get you back home though, Mom's freaking out.
 * Dawn: Oh, is she mad about the whole fire thing?
 * Buffy: I think you sort of have a "Get out of jail free" card on account of big love and trauma.
 * Dawn: Really? Okay, good. Do you think she'd raise my allowance?
 * Buffy: Don't push it.
 * Buffy: Don't push it.

Crush

 * Xander: The point is, I work hard for that money.
 * Spike: And you're saying I didn't?
 * Xander: You stole it.
 * Spike: And you're making it into very hard work!

 * Buffy: Spike, finish the story you were telling my little sister.
 * Spike: Right, so I knew the little girl was in the coal bin so I ripped it open very violently... and gave her to a nice family where they were never ever mean to her and didn't lock her in a coal bin.

 * Buffy: What... is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?
 * Spike: A d-Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean... do you want it to be?

 * Harmony: Who is-? Oh wait, I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning, now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drudzilla.
 * Spike: Harm-
 * Harmony: You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, because my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl, or Charlize Theron.
 * Spike: Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla.
 * Harmony: You have got some nerve coming back here after breaking my Boo-Boo's heart.
 * Drusilla: [Mouths to Spike] Boo-Boo?

 * Spike: Oh, what...Ohh! Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why... do you bitches torture me?
 * Buffy: Which question do you want me to answer first?

I Was Made to Love You

 * Giles: You can't be responsible for what Spike thinks or feels.
 * Buffy: Well, aren't I responsible? I mean, something about me had to make him feel that, right? Something that made him say, "Woof! That's the one for me!"

 * Buffy: I don't know about you guys, but I've had it with super-strong little women who aren't me.

 * Giles: A fourteen-year-old is too old to be babysat, it's not fair to her.
 * Buffy: What'd she make you do?
 * Giles: Well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance, and we ate cookie dough and talked about boys.
 * Buffy: [laughs] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my fun-time Buffy party night involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window. So if you wanna trade... No wait, I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.
 * Giles: Robot? Sounds interesting.
 * Buffy: We're gonna work on it in the morning, I mean, unless you want to stay for a while, and then you and I could-
 * Joyce: Who wants to hear everything?
 * Buffy: ...listen to my Mom talk about boys.
 * Giles: Right. Must go. See you tomorrow. Bye Joyce.
 * Joyce: Bye Rupert.

 * Joyce: [recounting her date with Brian] Gosh, I'd forgotten how much fun dating can be.
 * Buffy: I dunno, I was standing right here. I didn't see Prince Charming. I didn't even see a goodnight kiss. It all looked pretty tame to me.
 * Joyce: Well, I suppose by your standards it would seem pretty... Oh, dear.
 * Buffy: What?
 * Joyce: I left my bra in his car.
 * Buffy: [appalled] Mother!
 * Joyce: I'm joking.
 *  Buffy: Good God, that's horrible. Don't do that.
 * Joyce: [playfully] I left it in the restaurant.
 * Buffy: [running upstairs, hands over her ears] No more! No more! No more!
 * Joyce: [calling upstairs] On the dessert cart!
 * Buffy: [faintly, off screen] I can't hear you!

 * Buffy: Maybe I could change. You know, I could, I could work harder. I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes - I mean, men like that, right, the, the joke-laughing-at?
 * Xander: Or maybe you could just be Buffy, he'll see your amazing heart, and he'll fall in love with you.

The Body

 * [Buffy enters her house, sees a bouquet of flowers and a note for her mom]
 * Buffy: Hey, Mom. Ooh. Still a couple of guys getting it right. Hey, flower-gettin' lady, want me to pick Dawn up from school?
 * [sees her mom lying on the couch]
 * Buffy: Mom? What are you doing?
 * [moves closer to see her lying still with her eyes open and fixed]
 * Buffy: [quieter] Mom? Mom? Mommy?

 * Joyce: [flashback] I think we're just about ready for pie.
 * Xander: And then I'll be pretty much ready for barf.
 * Buffy: Xander!
 * Dawn: Gross.
 * Xander: You know, barf from the eating. 'Cause all was good and too much goodness.
 * Joyce: I'm taking it as a compliment.
 * Giles: Yes, everything was delicious.
 * Anya: Yes. I'm going to barf, too.
 * Joyce: Everyone's so sweet.
 * Xander: How you doin' there, Will? Are you in the vomit club, too?
 * Willow: [groans] I had too much nog.
 * Tara: Oh, baby. Want me to rub your tummy? She likes it when I... uh, s-stop explaining things.
 * Dawn: My nog tastes funny. I think I got one with rum in it.
 * Willow: That's... bad.
 * Xander: Yeah! Now Santa's gonna pass you right by! Naughty boozehound.
 * Willow: Santa always passes me by. Something puts him off. Could be the big honkin' menorah.

 * Dawn: Um, guys, hello. Puberty. Sort of figured out the whole no-Santa thing.
 * Anya: That's a myth.
 * Dawn: Yeah.
 * Anya: No, I mean, it's a myth that it's a myth. There is a Santa Claus.
 * Xander: The advantage of having a thousand-year-old girlfriend. Inside scoop.
 * Tara: There's a Santa Claus?
 * Anya: Mm-hmm. Been around since, like, the 1500s. But he wasn't always called Santa. But with, you know, Christmas night, flying reindeer, coming down the chimney — all true.
 * Dawn: All true?
 * Anya: Well, he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as, you know, disembowel children. But otherwise...
 * Tara: The reindeer part was nice.

 * Buffy: She's cold.
 * 911 Operator: The body is cold?
 * Buffy: No, my mom! Should-Should I make her warm?

 * [Willow is searching for something to wear]
 * Willow: Have you seen the blue one? Joyce liked the blue one.
 * Tara: I can check the Laundry room again if you want.
 * Willow: What about Purple? What does Purple mean?
 * Tara: I think it means...royal. Purple means royalty.
 * Willow: I can't be Royal when I'm at the hospital. "Oh, look at me, I'm the queen of everything, I'm better than you!". [Crying] I have to go see Buffy and be supportive. Why do all my clothes have stupid things on them? Why can't I dress like a grown up? Can't I be a grown up?
 * Tara: Shh, darling. [Kissing her on the head]
 * Willow: Tara, I can't do this.
 * [Tara and Willow kiss]
 * Tara: We can do this.
 * Willow: We can be there for Buffy and Dawn.
 * Tara: We can be strong.
 * Willow: Strong like an Amazon?
 * Tara: [Laughs] Like an Amazon.
 * Willow: I wish I had the blue.

 * Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?
 * Willow: Oh my God! Would you just... s-stop talking? Just... shut your mouth! Please!
 * Anya: What am I doing?
 * Willow: How can you act like that?
 * Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? I-is that the helpful thing to do?
 * Xander: Guys—
 * Willow: The way you behave—
 * Anya: Nobody will tell me.
 * Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!
 * Anya: But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's— there's just a body! And I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And... and Xander's crying and not talking, and... and I was having fruit punch, and I thought... well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why! [She begins to cry.]
 * Willow: [long pause] We don't know. How it works. Why.

Forever

 * Angel: I can stay in town as long as you want me.
 * Buffy: How's forever? Does forever work for you?
 * Buffy: I'm worried about tomorrow.
 * Angel: What's tomorrow?
 * Buffy: That's exactly what I don't know.
 * Buffy: That's exactly what I don't know.

 * Buffy: I could jam wooden things into monsters but Mom was the strong one.

 * [Spike meets Willow and Xander outside Buffy's house. Spike is carrying flowers]
 * Spike: I'm not going in.
 * Xander: And you're not leaving those. You really think you're going to score points with Buffy this way?
 * Spike: This isn't about Buffy.
 * Xander: Bull. We're all hip to your doomed obsession.
 * Spike: They're for Joyce.
 * Xander: Like you cared about her. [Spike moves closer to Xander]
 * Willow: Guys. Not here.
 * Spike: Care? Joyce was the only one of the lot of you I could stand.
 * Xander: And she was the only one with a daughter you wanted to shag. I'm touched.
 * Spike: I liked the lady. Understand, monkey boy? She was decent. She didn't put on airs. And she was the only one who didn't treat me like a freak.
 * Xander: Her mistake.
 * Spike: [scoffs] Think what you want. [He throws the flowers to the ground and stomps off]
 * Xander: Un ... believable. The guy thinks he can put on a big show and con Buffy into being his sex monkey.
 * Willow: [looking at flowers] Xander... He didn't leave a card.

 * Dawn: I know why you're doing this. I mean,you're practically stalking my sister
 * Spike: Its not that. I just don't like to see Summers women taking it on the chin. And I mean what I said earlier. You tell her about this, I'll put you in the ground as well.

 * Anya: Don't you like television? I thought all children despise effort and enjoy cartoons.

Intervention

 * Buffy: [about a ritual] So, how's it start?
 * Giles: I, uh, jump out of the circle and I jump back in it and then um, I shake my gourd.
 * Buffy: I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey pokey and turn themselves around!
 * Giles: [affecting annoyance] Go quest.
 * [Giles sighs, then reluctantly jumps out of the circle, jumps back in, and shakes his gourd.]
 * Buffy: And that's what it's all about.
 * Buffy: And that's what it's all about.

 * Tara: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I did some pretty dumb stuff like lying to my family and staying out all night.
 * Anya: Buffy's boinking Spike.
 * [Willow and Tara are left speechless for a moment.]
 * Willow: Oh. Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge—
 * Tara: What are you, kidding? She's nuts!

 * Xander: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sorta compact but well-muscled.
 * Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be!

 * Giles: Quite extraordinary, really.
 * Buffybot: Thank you. But I really think we should be listening to the other Buffy, Guiles. [She pronounces it with a hard G, like "guy."] She's very smart and she's gonna help us save Spike.
 * Giles: "Guiles?!" [turns to address the real Buffy] Spike didn't even bother to program my name properly!
 * Buffy: [to the Buffybot] Listen, skirt girl, we're not going to save him. We're going to kill him. He knows who the Key is, and there's no way he's not telling Glory.
 * Buffybot: You're right. He's evil. But you should see him naked! I mean really!

 * Buffy: [impersonating the Buffybot] Why did you let that Glory hurt you?
 * Spike: She wanted to know who the Key was.
 * Buffy: Well, I can tell her, and then you...
 * Spike: No! You can't ever. Glory never finds out.
 * Buffy: Why?
 * Spike: Cause Buffy, the other, not-so-pleasant Buffy... Anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.
 * [Buffy kisses Spike]
 * Spike: And my robot?
 * Buffy: The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene.
 * Spike: It wasn't supposed to...
 * Buffy: Don't. That thing, it wasn't even real. What you did for me and Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it.

Tough Love

 * Xander: Whatever you choose, you've got my support. Just think of me as... as your... You know, I'm searching for supportive things and I'm coming up all bras. So, something slightly more manly, think of me as that.

 * Spike: I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil.
 * Dawn: Maybe I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good.
 * Spike: Well, I'm not good, and I'm OK.

 * Willow: Well, I took Psych 101. I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation before the final, but I know what a Freudian slip is.

 * [Willow is upset at Tara's implication that she isn't committed to their relationship.]
 * Willow: I get it. You think you're just a college experiment until I get over the thrill and head back to Boystown.

 * [Tara has just been brain-sucked by Glory and is at the hospital]
 * Doctor: Is she your sister?
 * Willow: She's my everything.

Spiral

 * Glory: Any last words?
 * Buffy: Just one. Truck.
 * [A truck smashes into Glory]

 * [On the run from Glory, Giles calms the gang while they wait for Buffy to bring transportation.]
 * Giles: Look, everything will be alright. We just need to stay here, calm. As soon as Buffy arrives—
 * [A boxy, beaten-up mobile home pulls up to pick them up.]
 * Giles: ... we'll feel oddly worse.

 * Spike: Come on. Step on it, gramps
 * Giles: Step on what? I've driven tricycles with more power than this.

 * Dawn: Anya's going to try to cook. Want to watch the tears and recriminations?

 * Dawn: Destroyer of the universe. Guess cutting school doesn't seem so bad now, huh.

The Weight of the World

 * Spike: I'm willing to wager when all's said and done, Buffy likes it rough.

 * Spike: [laughs sarcastically] Oh, I get it. That's very crafty. [nods] Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-change-o instantly forgets. And yours truly, being somewhat other than human ... stands immune.
 * Willow: [frowning.] So ... Ben and Glory ... are-are the same person?
 * Xander: [slowly, like a revelation] Glory can turn into Ben, and Ben turns back into Glory.
 * Anya: And anyone who sees it instantly forgets.
 * Spike: [sigh of relief] Kewpie doll for the lady.
 * Giles: Excellent. Now. Do we suspect there may be some kind of connection between Ben and Glory?

 * Spike: Found Ben's room at Glory's. Didn't learn much.
 * Xander: Wait, wait, wait. Ben? At Glory's? [Spike rolls his eyes.] You're saying all this time he's been subletting from her?
 * Spike: This ... is gonna be worth it.
 * [Spike bitch-slaps Xander upside the head. The two of them both grab their heads in pain.]
 * Spike/Xander: Ow!!

 * Glory: I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who's not crazy? Look around, everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up, shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out 'cause they don't want 'em anymore. I'm crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind, 'cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.

 * Young Buffy: Do you like dolls?
 * Willow: No, and I think we already deja'd this vu.
 * Young Buffy: You talk funny.
 * Willow: Yes, as you will tell me again when we are older and in chem class.

The Gift

 * Xander: Why blood? Why Dawn's blood? Why couldn't it be like a-a lymph ritual or something?
 * Spike: 'Cause it's always got to be blood.
 * Xander: We're not actually discussing dinner right now.
 * Spike: Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead. 'Course it's her blood.

 * Buffy: This is how many apocalypses for us now?
 * Giles: Oh, uh, six at least. Feels like a hundred.
 * Buffy: I've always beaten them. Always won.
 * Giles: Yes.
 * Buffy: I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much, but I knew what was right. I don't have that anymore. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world, if these are the choices, if everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish- I just wish my mom was here.

 * Buffy: Weapons are by the TV. I'll grab the stuff upstairs.
 * Spike: Buffy... If you wanna just hand them over the threshold...
 * Buffy: Come in, Spike.
 * Spike: Presto. No barrier. I won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself.
 * Buffy: We're not all gonna make it. You know that?
 * Spike: Yeah. Always knew I'd go down fightin'.
 * Buffy: I'm counting on you to protect her.
 * Spike: Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.
 * Buffy: I'll be a minute.
 * Spike: I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's...Get your stuff. I'll be here

 * Buffy: We on schedule?
 * Giles: Yes, it's time.
 * Buffy: Will?
 * Willow: Tara, baby? Is there somewhere you should be?
 * Tara: They held me down.
 * Willow: No one's holding you. It's the big day, right? Do you wanna go?
 * Tara: [pauses on the way to the door, points at Giles] You're a killer. [Quieter] This is all set down. [continues towards the door]
 * Buffy: [to Willow] Stay close but don't crowd her. We'll follow in a minute. [to the rest of the gang] Hey, everybody knows their jobs. Remember, the ritual starts - we all die. And I'll kill anyone who comes near Dawn. [leaves]
 * Spike: Well, not exactly the St Crispin's Day speech, was it?
 * Giles: We few. We happy few.
 * Spike: We band of buggered.

 * Buffy: Dawn, listen to me, listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other.You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world-is to live in it. Be brave. Live... for me.

 * Epitaph:
 * BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS
 * 1981-2001
 * BELOVED SISTER
 * DEVOTED FRIEND
 * SHE SAVED THE WORLD
 * A LOT

title: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Season 5


text:
User talk:204.108.148.11

- InvisibleSun 17:17, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

This is a school computer, so... keep in mind that anything you say is essentially being directed towards about 2,000 people.

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: User talk:204.108.148.11


text:
User talk:Doppler~enwikiquote

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!--Aphaia 17:53, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Doppler. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Doppler~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:21, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:46, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Doppler~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Yorkufiles

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!--Aphaia 17:53, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Yorkufiles


text:
User talk:Indolences

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!--Aphaia 17:54, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Indolences


text:
User talk:205.213.111.54

Please stop removing content from Wikiquote. It is considered vandalism. If you want to experiment, please use the sandbox. Thank you.--Aphaia 17:58, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

~ UDScott 20:52, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

Please seek to find something actually constructive to do that does not waste your own and other people's time and life in a shallow and pointless form of idiocy. ~ Kalki 16:54, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

~ UDScott 18:08, 1 November 2010 (UTC)

~ UDScott 19:16, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

title: User talk:205.213.111.54


text:
User talk:85.166.236.10

~ UDScott 18:15, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:85.166.236.10


text:
User talk:72.10.102.40

- InvisibleSun 18:25, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

- InvisibleSun 18:29, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:72.10.102.40


text:
User talk:Noroton

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!--Aphaia 19:37, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Noroton


text:
Talk:Gundam Wing

 * Currently, this page is seriously in need of cleanup. Just with a cursory inspection, i can tell that a lot of the quotes are presumably written from memory and thus have some similarity to what was said but are not an actual quote. Editing is definitely in need.. Also, the page is inconsistent in terms of whether the edited or unedited version of Gundam Wing is quoted (one quote mentions Kill and another mentions Destroy)--71.126.242.122 14:22, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

I added Heero's speech from (forget the episode number) when he goes to the colonies at school under Duo's name

feel free to clean it up if you want but I transcribed it right from the DVD punctuation and all.

Genome4824

I changed the words "humility" in Treize's section to "civility", as that is what he actually says on the series.

Thanks to everyone that put in stuff from the show. I'd like to see some Relena and Dorothy quotes, though, if you can find some interesting ones. --67.172.10.82 02:41, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

I own the series of Gundam Wing, as well as the Endless Waltz movie. I watch the series over again and fix any errors or add anything that seems fit. I'll also arrange the quotes in the order of episode since having some quotes from late in the series come before ones that are said early on seem to feel odd.

Edit 6/10/08: I finally got around to watching the series again. I added episodes that quotes were in, fixed the name to wikipedia links, added a few quotes. I wasn't able to get all but might be able to get the rest later.

Unsocial

Random note from person who can't use wikipedia: I'm pretty sure Ninmu Ryoukai is more accurately translated as "Roger Mission". I won't change anything though

title: Talk:Gundam Wing


text:
Buzz Lightyear

Buzz Lightyear is a character in the following films:

 * Toy Story
 * Toy Story 2
 * Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins
 * Buzz Lightyear of Star Command
 * Toy Story 3
 * Hawaiian Vacation
 * Small Fry
 * Partysaurus Rex
 * Toy Story: Smash It!
 * Toy Story of Terror!
 * Toy Story That Time Forgot
 * Ralph Breaks the Internet
 * Toy Story 4
 * Toy story treats
 * Lightyear

title: Buzz Lightyear


text:
Talk:Scrubs (TV series)

Too many quotes
While I know it may be difficult to limit the number of quotes per episode for this show, it certainly appears that we have way too much here to escape possible copyright issues. We really need to trim the number of quotes per episode to single digits at least. This page is now one of the larger ones on Wikiquote and serious attention to this is needed. ~ UDScott 18:18, 6 March 2007 (UTC)

You can never have too many Scrubs quotes. 65.25.105.176 03:31, 6 December 2007 (UTC)

Not to mention, a lot of these quotes are TERRIBLE. We dont need all the quotes from every show that were minutely entertaining. Many of these are only funny on the condition of hearing the characters voice inflections, or seeing facial cues, or the inclusion of physical comedy. That does not translate well in text. I'm removing many of these, for just not being funny or relevant!Trix 15:57, 4 May 2007 (UTC)

Which episode has the excellant quote about Bastard-Coated-Bastards?

I definitely agree with this article having too many quotes. Many need to be weeded out. Emanresu 23:17, 26 October 2007 (UTC)
 * To many quotes? THIS IS A QUOTE WEBSITE!!! I never heard of such nonsence! To many quotes! *lol* First theres to little then theres to much make up your mind! Besides its not breaking the law!--Lolicon 13:26, 30 November 2007 (UTC)

I think this page should be a database, not just a place for a few quotes. You can find that on imdb.com.
 * The problem is that due to copyright constraints, we are limited in what we can have here - overquoting could lead to the site being closed down. So it seems obvious to me that the preferable route is to trim the quotes to a more acceptable level rather than have no site at all. ~ UDScott 22:13, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
 * I should mention that a lot of this trimming has already happened - but there are still some episodes with too many quotes (especially in later seasons). ~ UDScott 22:14, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

Can we have a few more sections on the more recent episodes? From Lindaaaaa.:)(just not logged in)

hi

title: Talk:Scrubs (TV series)


text:
Kenneth Patchen

Kenneth Patchen (13 December 1911 – 8 January 1972) was an American poet and painter.

Quotes

And each is the work of all.'''
 * '''You, the woman; I, the man; this, the world:
 * "The Character of Love Seen as a Search for the Lost"

And each is the mission of all.''' For greatness is only the drayhorse that coaxes The built cart out; and where we go is reason. But genius is an enormous littleness, a trickling Of heart that covers alike the hare and the hunter.
 * '''You, the sought for; I, the seeker; this, the search:
 * "The Character of Love Seen as a Search for the Lost"

And each is the work of all.''' Then, not that man do more, or stop pity; but that he be Wider in living; that all his cities fly a clean flag... We have been alone too long, love; it is terribly late For the pierced feet on the water and we must not die now.
 * '''You, the village; I, the stranger; this, the road:
 * "The Character of Love Seen as a Search for the Lost"

 * Have you wondered why all the windows in heaven were broken? Have you seen the homeless in the grave of God's hand? Do you want to acquaint the larks with the fatuous music of war?
 * "The Character of Love Seen as a Search for the Lost"

 * O my love my dear lady The world is not very big There is only room for our wonder And the light leaning winds of heaven Are not more sweet or pure Than your mouth on my throat O my love there are larks in our morning And the finding flame of your hands And the moss on the bank of the river And the butterflies And the whirling-mad Butterflies!
 * "'O My Love the Pretty Towns'"

 * As we are so wonderfully done with each other We can walk into our separate sleep on floors of music where the milkwhite cloak of childhood lies
 * "As We Are So Wonderfully Done With Each Other"

 * Your lips have splashed my dull house with print of flowers My hands are crooked where they spilled over your dear curving
 * "As We Are So Wonderfully Done With Each Other"

 * To leave the earth was my wish, and no will stayed my rising. Early, before sun had filled the roads with carts Conveying folk to weddings and to murders; Before men left their selves of sleep, to wander In the dark of the world like whipped beasts.
 * "The Temple"

 * The animal I wanted Couldn't get into the world... I can hear it crying When I sit like this away from life.
 * "'The Animal I Wanted'"

title: Kenneth Patchen


text:
User talk:70.105.171.69

- InvisibleSun 21:41, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:70.105.171.69


text:
User talk:Haddub

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!--Aphaia 23:00, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Haddub


text:
User talk:Richj1209~enwikiquote

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!--Aphaia 23:02, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Richj1209. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Richj1209~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:33, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:55, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Richj1209~enwikiquote


text: User talk:63.117.66.131

title: User talk:63.117.66.131


text:
User talk:71.203.241.168

- InvisibleSun 02:53, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:71.203.241.168


text:
User talk:Miahmoulder~enwikiquote

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 03:02, 13 December 2006 (UTC)
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Miahmoulder. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Miahmoulder~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:30, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:53, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Miahmoulder~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:J dizzle238

Welcome
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title: User talk:J dizzle238


text:
User talk:Lorinicole~enwikiquote

Welcome
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Lorinicole. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Lorinicole~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:28, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:52, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Lorinicole~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Genome4824~enwikiquote

Welcome
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Genome4824. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Genome4824~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:22, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:47, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Genome4824~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Nelutu~enwikiquote

Welcome
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Nelutu. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Nelutu~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:32, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:53, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Nelutu~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Lbr 73

Welcome
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title: User talk:Lbr 73


text:
User talk:Jnjoroge

Welcome
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title: User talk:Jnjoroge


text:
User talk:Therapycatguardian

Welcome
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title: User talk:Therapycatguardian


text:
User talk:Darth Kenobe

Welcome
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title: User talk:Darth Kenobe


text:
User talk:Vashti~enwikiquote

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 03:03, 13 December 2006 (UTC)
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Vashti. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Vashti~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:38, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 06:00, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Vashti~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Cwilkins~enwikiquote

Welcome
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Cwilkins. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Cwilkins~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:20, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:45, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Cwilkins~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:TdNuget

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 03:03, 13 December 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:TdNuget


text:
User talk:Roadking991

Welcome
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title: User talk:Roadking991


text:
Sebastian Bach

 * For the 18th Century composer, see Johann Sebastian Bach

Sebastian Bach (born Sebastian Philip Bierk, on April 3, 1968) is a Canadian heavy metal singer who achieved mainstream success as frontman of Skid Row from 1987-96. Since his departure from Skid Row, he has had many television roles, acted in Broadway plays, and leads a solo career.

Quotes

 * You know that episode where I said I'd stopped drinking? Well, I lied. Ted is so militant in his views. I lived with him for 12 days and it's hard to imagine ever doing anything that would truly look good in his eyes. Also he said some stuff online about Dimebag which I thought was really not cool. I'm not going to repeat it but you can check it out online.
 * Blabbermouth.net (October 21, 2006)

 * I'm not this crazy drunk guy you see on 'SuperGroup'. I like to be mellow sometimes. I like to read a lot, and I'm actually starting to write my first book. I have read so many books and now I'm trying to document this specific tour, because it is fascinating!
 * Chico Enterprise Record (December 12, 2006)

 * "I don’t really have any stress over Stevie Rachelle’s website. If you care what the lead singer of Tuff has to say, then good for you. I was never a big Tuff fan, you know? Wow, the lead singer of Tuff has a website about being jealous of the lead singer of Skid Row. Stevie Rachelle is jealous, and wants to rip on Sebastian Bach."
 * December 2006 http://www.rockmymonkey.com/interviews/06/12/SebastianBach.php

 * We people don't like to be told what to do, am I right!? But something I learnt is that you just gotta walk up to this fucking asshole and say "well, EXCUSE ME! I didn't mean to offend you by listening to rock N roll! but, hey man... FUCK YOU!!!" That's right, because we are the youth gone wild!!
 * Concert in Japan

 * "These are the ugliest people I have ever seen in my life. I have to buy this!" When looking at the back of Metallica's Kill 'Em All.

title: Sebastian Bach


text:
The Beach (film)

The Beach is a 2000 film about three people on vacation in Thailand who set out for an island rumored to be a solitary beach paradise.
 * Directed by Danny Boyle. Written by John Hodge, based on the novel by Alex Garland.

Paradise has its price.taglines

Françoise

 * Richard, this is just the kind of pretentious bullshit that Americans always say to French girls so they can sleep with them.

Richard

 * No offence an' all, but, you're fucked in the head, right?

 * My name is Richard. So what else do you need to know? Stuff about my family, or where I'm from? None of that matters. Not once you cross the ocean and cut yourself loose, looking for something more beautiful, something more exciting and yes, I admit, something more dangerous. So after eighteen hours in the back of an airplane, three dumb movies, two plastic meals, six beers and absolutely no sleep, I finally touch down; in Bangkok.

 * And me, I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for, 'cause it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something, and if you find that moment... it lasts forever...

 * Trust me, it's paradise. This is where the hungry come to feed. For mine is a generation that circles the globe and searches for something we haven't tried before. So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it.

 * I had nothing left to offer but pure reflex. Pure reflex and mankind's basic drive for survival, that somehow shouts, "NO - I WILL NOT DIE TODAY!"

 * The only downer is, everyone's got the same idea. We all travel thousands of miles just to watch TV and check in to somewhere with all the comforts of home, and you gotta ask yourself, what is the point of that?

 * I just feel like everyone tries to do something different, but you always wind up doing the same damn thing.

 * I told myself spreading news was part of a traveller's nature, but if I was being completely honest, I was just like everybody else: shit-scared of the great unknown. Desperate to take a little piece of home with me.

 * When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years.

 * You hope, and you dream. But you never believe that something's gonna happen for you. Not like it does in the movies. And when it actually does, you want it to feel different, more visceral, more real. I was waiting for it to hit me, but it just wouldn't happen. The police were pissed cus' he was travelling under a false passport. But they didn't ask me about the map, so - i didn't tell them.

 * And as for the rest of us? We carried away our sins and made our way back to wherever it was we called home, to pick up the pieces of whatever was waiting. Of course you can never forget what you've done, but we adapt. We carry on. And me? I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for. Because it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're part of something. And if you find that moment, it lasts forever.

Sal

 * Now get some sleep, I may wish to have sex again before we eat breakfast.

Dialogue

 * Richard: Oh, God!
 * Etienne: Putain de merde! Well?
 * Richard: Well, what?
 * Etienne: How do we get down?
 * Richard: How do we get down? How am I supposed to know? Do I have to decide everything now?
 * Françoise: We'll jump.
 * Etienne: Fuck! You wanted to be in command, Richard.
 * Richard: I only took command, because you lost your nerve, French boy!
 * Etienne: Yeah, and look where you've taken us!

 * Sten: We like fishing.
 * Karl: Fishing, hehe.
 * Sten: And in the winter we like skiing.
 * Christo: Yeah!
 * Sten: Of course, in Thailand there is no skiing.

 * Richard: [voiceover] Our resident chef was known as Unhygienix.
 * Unhygienix: Let's cook!
 * Richard: [voiceover] On account of his obsession with soap.
 * Unhygienix: Fish, fish, fish!
 * [Scrubs hands and sniffs them]
 * Unhygiegenix: Still I smell of fish!

 * Françoise: What are you talking about?
 * Richard: Just making conversation.
 * Françoise: Do you have a girlfriend?
 * Richard: Here?
 * Françoise: Anywhere.
 * Richard: No, why?
 * Françoise: Just making conversation.

 * Etienne: Oh fuck! Richard! Fuck!
 * Richard: What?
 * Etienne: I saw a fin!
 * Richard: What? Are you joking?
 * Etienne: No, no. A fin!
 * Richard: OK, a shark fin?
 * Etienne: I don't know! Just a fin! Over there, about a hundred meters.
 * Richard: Well, was it big?
 * Etienne: Yes.
 * Richard: Well, what the fuck do you expect me to do about it?
 * Etienne: Nothing! I just thought you should know!
 * Richard: Well, to be honest, Etienne, I'd rather you hadn't told me!
 * Etienne: I'm sorry!
 * Richard: Well, it's a bit fuckin' late now, isn't it?

Taglines

 * Paradise has its price.

 * Innocence never lasts forever.

 * Somewhere on this planet it must exist.

 * Paradise Found - Innocence Lost

 * It's the experience that matters

 * It really was some kind of paradise

Cast

 * Leonardo DiCaprio - Richard
 * Robert Carlyle - Daffy
 * Virginie Ledoyen - Françoise
 * Guillaume Canet - Etienne
 * Tilda Swinton - Sal
 * Paterson Joseph - Keaty
 * Daniel Caltagirone - Unhygienix

title: The Beach (film)


text: Category:Presidents of Yugoslavia

title: Category:Presidents of Yugoslavia


text:
User talk:67.184.74.247

- InvisibleSun 05:21, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:67.184.74.247


text:
User talk:58.102.102.70

- InvisibleSun 05:23, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:58.102.102.70


text:
Bill Kristol

 * For the American comedian, see Billy Crystal.

William "Bill" Kristol (born 23 December 1952) is an American neoconservative commentator.

1990s

 * You have to use words as they are understood in your time and place.
 * As quoted in "'Conservative': A Term Up for Grabs" (18 November 2020), by Jay Nordlinger, National Review

2000s

 * Well, Foley is responsible for it, and the voters in Florida, I guess, who elected him. Maybe they should have known better.
 * Responding if Republican house leadership bears any responsibility for failing to properly address inappropriate emails allegedly sent by former Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) to an underage male congressional page. (October 4, 2006)

 * It's not a serious document.
 * Referring to the Iraq Study Group report
 * Fox News Live (December 6, 2006)

 * I think Rumsfeld was not a good Defense Secretary. I'm glad he's gone.
 * Referring to the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld in an interview with The Daily Show's Jon Stewart

 * Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single democratic primary. I'll predict that right now.
 * Fox News Sunday, December 17, 2006

Obama's Legacy (2017)

 * "Obama's Legacy" (21 April 2017), The Weekly Standard

 * The Obama years have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. Severely wanting. By the end of Obama's presidency, the U.S. standing in the world was weaker—clearly and appreciably weaker—than when he became president. The force of American power was diminished, and freedom was in retreat. By the end of Obama's presidency, was there a single part of the world where the United States was in a stronger position than when he took office? Was there an ally who was more confident or an adversary who was less so? By the end of Obama's presidency, were any important countries either friendlier or freer than they had been when he took over? The answer to all these questions: no.

After Trump (2017)

 * "After Trump" (5 May 2017), The Weekly Standard

 * The present moment is not one to be proud of. The normal vulgarity of democratic politics has become the shameless demagoguery of democratic decadence. The routine operation of party politics has given way to the mindless polarization of partisan fanatics. The characteristic limitations of popular leaders have yielded to an abdication of leadership itself. A public life with occasional cringeworthy moments has been replaced by one that is on the whole cringeworthy.

A Sense of Responsibility (2017)

 * "A Sense of Responsibility" (12 May 2017), The Weekly Standard

 * Donald Trump is an embarrassment. It would be better for the country if he were president for at most one term.

The Two Crises (2017)

 * "The Two Crises" (23 June 2017), The Weekly Standard

 * [T]he Islamic world is a source of danger and destruction is all too conceivable. Indeed, it’s been on display, in plain sight, for years... The jihadist threat is real, and it must, obviously, be fought and defeated. But that raises another problem—not a problem with Islam, but a problem with the West. We have lost our nerve. In recent years, the attitude of Barack Obama has prevailed over the spirit of Charlie Hebdo. The claims of sensitivity have trumped the attachment to freedom. Appeasement of jihad has supplanted the war on terror. Most fundamentally—let’s be honest—fear has overwhelmed courage. And so the American president has been happy to proclaim, as he did at the United Nations in September 2012, “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.” He has been less willing to say that the future must not belong to those who kill in the name of the prophet of Islam... We face a crisis of Islam. We need to be clear-eyed about that. But we also face a crisis of the West. Only if we come to grips with that second crisis will this period of consequences turn out to be an occasion for renewal rather than another marker on the path to decadence.

True American Greatness (2017)

 * "True American Greatness" (21 July 2017), The Weekly Standard

 * The noble simplicity of sentiment in McCain’s tweets is a world removed from Trump’s gaudy and boastful displays. And McCain’s demonstration of character and courage is a far more reliable guide to American greatness than the pronouncements of a president who speaks of it nonstop and embodies it not at all.

2018

 * So WE are to blame for the "bad blood" with Russia. Not what Putin has done in Ukraine, in Syria, in the UK, at home, or with respect to our elections. Amazing.
 * Twitter post (11 April 2018)

 * We're to blame for the "bad blood." Not Putin. The real meaning of America First is Blame America First.
 * Twitter post (11 April 2018)

 * Winners have standards.
 * Twitter post (10 June 2018)

 * [I]nstitutions are strong; it turns out you don't need a lot of sensible or even sane leadership in the White House.
 * Interview with the Octavian Report (2018)

 * The town hall has the spirit of representative democracy, the rally of autocracy.
 * Twitter post (3 September 2018)

 * I’d rather fight than switch. It’s worth fighting.
 * Twitter post (9 September 2018)

 * The rhetorical extremism, the winking at violence, the reveling in vulgarity, and the embrace of amoralism are not bugs but features of Trumpism. Intellectual and moral coarsening is both a condition and a consequence of the demagogue's success. Trumpism really does corrupt.
 * Twitter post (20 October 2018)

 * No disease any refugee might bring to America is as dangerous as the disease of fear, bigotry and hatred now being spread in America by Fox.
 * Twitter post (29 October 2018)

 * Younger people actually understand how it works. They don't just take what they are fed according to their preferences; they go look at other things. So I've always been more anti-baby boomer and more pro-millennial.
 * As quoted in "Bill Kristol: 'I've Always Been More Anti-Baby Boomer and More Pro-Millennial'" (30 October 2018), by Renee Brown-Cheng, Bold

 * Hasn't America really always been, at least since the middle of the 19th century, a majority-minority country? Lincoln, July 10, 1858: "We have besides these men—descended by blood from our ancestors—among us perhaps half our people who are not descendants at all of these men..."
 * Twitter post (6 November 2018)

 * [T]here seem to be more CRIMINALS in the Trump Administration than in the Caravan.
 * Twitter post (21 November 2018)

The Silent Artillery of Time (2018)

 * "The Silent Artillery of Time" (20 February 2018), The Weekly Standard

 * Trump is the proximate, the efficient, cause of the collapse of the conservative movement. The principles of sound conservatism compel us to criticize him, to rebut him, to resist him, and to plan to overcome him.

Still a Republican (2018)

 * "Still a Republican" (23 March 2018), The Weekly Standard

 * Isn't conservatism in part about resisting so-called new realities when you sense they might be questionable, even as people lecture you that you’ve got to get with the times?

Quotes about Kristol

 * Have you ever met a war you didn't love?
 * Bill Maher, question to Kristol, guest on Real Time with Bill Maher, 28 February 2014.

 * I have known Bill Kristol since the mid-’90s, when I worked for him. I had admired him even before that, when he was a pup in the Reagan administration. He is his own man, come hell or high water. If I were president — LOL — I’d hang the Medal of Freedom around Bill’s neck.
 * Jay Nordlinger, "Lies, Patriotism, and Consequences" (11 January 2021), National Review

 * Our winner [of BEST Persons], the one and only William Kristol, still of The New York Times. His latest gem, after the Supreme Court struck down the Military Commissions Act and restored the Writ of Habeus Corpus to even the detainees at Gitmo: "The decision was wrong and our fears about the Administration's attack on the great writ are overblown, because American citizens have a right to Habeus Corpus, and anyone arrested in this country has a right to Habeus Corpus."  Sadly, no!  That's the problem!  The Military Commissions Act specifically said there was to be no Habeus Corpus for non-citizens, even if they were arrested in this country.   More importantly, Bill, if, under the Act, or whatever monstrosity McCain is backing to replace the Act, if they arrested you, William Kristol, and declared you a non-citizen and an enemy combatant, and you say, "But I was born in New York City," exactly where do you think you'll be able to prove that and get yourself released?  At a court hearing — a court hearing that would never happen because there would be no Habeus Corpus, because the government said you weren't born in New York City, and your response would never - even - be - heard.
 * Keith Olbermann, in his nightly Worst Persons segment; June 18, 2008;

 * The New York Times columnist, on the air: “I think Hillary Clinton was gracious, has put behind her the horrible sexism and misogyny the Democratic primary voters demonstrated, which I‘m appalled by, personally. Never would have happened in the Republican party.”  Mr. Kristol is ignoring the public commentary by a prominent Republican on Fixed News on February 3rd of this year, who said the only people supporting Senator Clinton's bid for the presidency were, quote, “the Democratic establishment and white women.”  Then this Republican added, quote, “white women are a problem.  That‘s—you know, we all live with that.”  Which Republican's horrible sexism did Bill Kristol forget?  His own.  All that was said by William Kristol, today's worst person in the world.
 * Keith Olbermann, in his nightly Worst Persons segment; June 18, 2008;

 * Kristol and his fellow neo-imperialists have never seen a war they didn't support, even going so far as threatening to abandon the Republicans, during the Clinton era, if they didn't get squarely behind Clinton's rape of Serbia. Kristol called for "cracking Serb skulls" long before the Great Pantsdropper decided, three years ago today [March 24], to drop bombs on Belgrade.
 * Justin Raimondo, Our Hijacked Foreign Policy - Neoconservatives take Washington – Baghdad is next, Antiwar, March 25, 2002

 * For years, Kristol and his gang have been clamoring for war not only with Iraq, but with the entire Arab Middle East. Now, in the wake of 9/11, they have seized their chance, and are taking the offensive: Kristol and a coterie of his fellow neocons recently signed an open letter to the President calling for the military occupation of not only Iraq, but also Syria, Iran, and much of the rest of the Middle East.
 * Justin Raimondo, Our Hijacked Foreign Policy - Neoconservatives take Washington – Baghdad is next, Antiwar, March 25, 2002

title: Bill Kristol