text:
The Simpsons/Season 2

The Simpsons (1989–present) is an American animated sitcom broadcast by the Fox Broadcasting Company created by Matt Groening. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family.

Bart Gets an F

 * Mrs. Krabappel: Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term. Are you aware of that?
 * Bart: Yes, ma'am.
 * Mrs. Krabappel: Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow on colonial America?
 * Bart: Yes, ma'am.
 * Mrs. Krabappel: Blablahblblah blahblahblablahblah?
 * Bart: Yes, ma'am.
 * Mrs. Krabappel: Blahblah blahblablablahBLABLAH..?
 * Bart: Yes, ma'am.
 * Mrs. Krabappel: BART! You haven't been paying attention to a word I said, have you?
 * Bart: Yes, ma'am.
 * Mrs. Krabappel: Well, then, what did I say?
 * Bart: Uuhhhh...."Straighten up and fly right?"
 * Mrs. Krabappel: Ptch - that was a lucky guess!

 * Otto: Hey, Bart Dude! Woah, you look freaked!
 * Bart: Hey, Otto, man; I have a test today that I am not ready for! Could you please crash the bus or something?
 * Otto: Sorry, Bart Dude. Can't do it on purpose. But, hey, maybe you'll get lucky!
 * Bart: [to himself] Alright. No need to panic. Just find an egghead, pump up for some answers, and boom, I'm back on Easy Street. [sees Sherri and Terri in the distance. Grinning, he makes his way over to them]
 * Terri: Look at him. I'll bet he didn't study again!
 * Sherri: And now he's gonna try and kiss up and get answers from us.
 * Terri: He's pathetic!
 * Bart: Good morning, girls!
 * Sherri and Terri: Good morning, Bart.
 * Bart: Say, who's up for a little cram session? I'll go first. What was the name of the Pilgrims' boat?
 * Sherri: The Spirit of St. Louis.
 * Bart: And where'd they land?
 * Terri: Sunny Acapulco.
 * Bart: And why'd they leave England?
 * Sherri: Giant rats.
 * Bart: [writing down the information in a notebook] Cool, history's coming alive!
 * [The bus arrives at Springfield Elementary. As the students disembark, Sherri and Terri giggle softly at their trick]
 * Martin: [approaching Bart] As a natural enemy, I don't know why I should care, but the information regarding America's colonial period you received is erroneous.
 * Bart: Meaning....
 * Martin: A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test than you do.
 * Bart: Thanks for the pep talk...

Simpson and Delilah

 * Homer: [after watching a commercial about Dimoxinil] Hair. Hair. Just like everybody else.

 * [Mr. Burns and Smithers study security camera footage]
 * Mr. Burns: Morons. Pathetic morons in my employ, stealing my precious money. This is hopeless. None of these cretins deserves a promotion.
 * Smithers: Well, it’s in the union contract, sir. One token promotion from within per year.
 * Mr. Burns: Wait! Who is that young go-getter? [points at a monitor with Homer on it with hair]
 * Smithers: Well, it sort of looks like [chuckles] Homer Simpson, only more dynamic and resourceful-looking.
 * Mr. Burns: Simpson, huh? Hmm. An unspoiled lump of clay to mold in my own image. Our new junior executive. Bring him to me!
 * Smithers:[on the intercom] Attention Homer Simpson, you have been promoted. You are now an executive. Take three minutes to say good-bye to your former friends; then report to room 503 for reassignment to a better life.

 * Karl: You don't belong here.
 * Homer: Huh?
 * Karl: You don't belong here. You're a fraud, a phoney, and it's only a matter of time 'til they find you out.
 * Homer: [gasps] Who told you?
 * Karl: You did. You told me that the way you slump your shoulders, the...the way you talk into your chest, the way you smother yourself in bargain basement green polyester! [grabs his hands] I want you to say to yourself, "I deserve this. I love it. I am nature's greatest miracle!" Go ahead, say it.
 * Homer: I-I-
 * Karl: Trust me, Homer!
 * Homer: I...
 * Karl: Take a step and say it!
 * Homer: I deserve this...
 * Karl: Louder!
 * Homer: I DESERVE THIS!
 * Karl: SHOUT IT!
 * Homer: I AM NATURE'S GREATEST MIRACLE!
 * Karl: I'll need three weeks vacation and moving expenses.
 * Homer: YOU GOT IT, BUDDY!
 * Karl: Let's go shopping!

 * [Bart is foolishly putting Dimoxinil on his face to grow a beard]
 * Homer: [comes in] Bart! What are you doing?!
 * Bart: Uh-oh. [accidentally drops the Dimoxinil, and it spills all over the floor]
 * [Homer and Bart freak out screaming]
 * Homer: [turns red with anger] Why, you little..! [Bart cowardly runs out of his father's room screaming, as the latter furiously chases him, angrily growling. He clumsily trips over the lamp and angrily strangles Bart] Boy must die!
 * Bart: I love you, Dad!
 * Homer: D'oh! Dirty trick. Okay, I'm not gonna kill you, but I'm gonna tell you three things that are going to haunt you for the rest of your days: You've ruined your father, you've crippled your family, and baldness is hereditary!
 * Bart: It is?!

 * Mr. Burns: [angry over Homer's failed speech] Well, well...our dashing young junior executive. You made a mockery of our meeting! I should fire you on the spot! [calms down] But I'm not going to.
 * Homer: [confused] Why?
 * Mr. Burns: How old do you think I am?
 * Homer: I don't know...102?
 * Mr. Burns: I'm only 81. [produces photo album. First photo shows him as a baby with a full head of hair] You may find this hard to believe, but in my salad days...my glory was a bright shock of strawberry blonde curls. [subsequent photos show him playing sports and at school dances] Oh, I was big man on campus, until my senior year... [final photo shows him in a lab with a receding hairline] ...when I became as bald as a plucked chicken. [sadly] You see, Simpson...I too know the sting of...male-patterned baldness. That's why I'm giving you your old job back.
 * Homer: What? [bends his knees] Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
 * Mr. Burns: Oh, now get outta here before I reconsider.
 * Homer: Oh. [gets up and leaves] Better hurry up.

Treehouse of Horror

 * Marge: I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars.
 * Homer: Don't be so stubborn! We're not talking about a few dollars, [he's suddenly lifted up] we're talking about a few thousand dollars! [realizes this and freaks out screaming as he hits the ceiling backwards] It's got great high ceilings! [screams before crashes to the floor] Uh, tell you what. [gets up] Let's sleep on it, okay?
 * Marge: Mmmm...Okay. Whatever happens...
 * Homer: What could happen?
 * [Marge groans]

 * Narrator: Quoth the raven-
 * Bart: Eat my shorts!
 * Lisa: Bart, stop it! He says "Nevermore." And that's all he'll ever say.
 * Bart: Okay, okay.

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

 * [As Bart and Lisa quietly fish, journalist Dave Shutton approaches them]
 * Dave Shutton: So, caught anything?
 * Lisa: Not yet, sir.
 * Dave Shutton: What are you using for bait?
 * Lisa: My brother is using worms, but I, who feel the tranquility far outweighs the actual catching of fish, am using nothing.
 * Dave Shutton: I see. What's your name, son?
 * Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
 * Dave Shutton: [chuckling] I'm Dave Shutton, an investigative reporter who's on the road a lot. And I must say that in my day, we didn't speak that way to our elders!
 * Bart: Well this is my day, and we do, sir.

 * Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it Smithers. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!
 * Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

Dancin' Homer

 * [First lines]
 * Barney: So, Homer, what happened in Capital City?
 * Homer: Oh, Barney.
 * Moe: C'mon, Homer. We're dyin' of curiosity.
 * Homer: Look, there's only one thing worse than being a loser. It's being one of those guys that sits in a bar, telling the story of how he became a loser, and I never want that to happen to me.

 * Bart: Hey, Dad, look! You're on Jumbo Vision!
 * Homer: WOW! [stands, waving to crowds] Hey, everybody! [Bart does 2 fingers behind Homer's head] How ya doin'? [blocks Bart's face] Look at me! I'm Homer Simpson! [laughs]
 * [Jumbo Vision lowers down to Homer's pants, audience laughs hysterically at Homer's unzipped zipper]
 * Marge: Homer. Homer! XYZ.
 * Homer: Examine my zipper? Why? [looks down] Whoops! [turns quickly, zips pants up, Lisa covers her eyes in embarrassment, Homer laughs, waving arm at screen] Thanks, everybody!
 * [Crowd applauds]

Dead Putting Society

 * Homer: All right, knock it off!
 * Ned: Knock what off, Simpson?
 * Homer: You've been rubbing it in my nose since I got here! Your family is better than my family, your beer comes from farther away than my beer, you and your son like each other, your wife's butt... [Ned gasps] is higher than my wife's butt! You make me sick!
 * Ned: Simpson, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I hope you understand.
 * Homer: I wouldn't stay on a bet! [walks out but gets back to pick up a club sandwich that Maude prepared] One for the road! [eats on the way out]

 * Lisa: Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, I'm not sure how they're supposed to sound, but here goes... [puts a hand on his shoulder] I believe in you.
 * Bart: [puts his hand over hers] Thanks, man.

Bart vs. Thanksgiving

 * [Homer tries to watch a football game when he sees Bart smothering Lisa with a sofa cushion.]
 * Homer: [angrily turns red] Bart! Stop fighting with your sister!
 * Bart: Hey, man! She took my glue!
 * Lisa: It's not yours, Bart! [throws pillow and Bart off herself] This is family glue!
 * Homer: Stop it, you two! This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or I'll take your glue away and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
 * Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue. It's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
 * Bart: Oh, yeah? Prove it.
 * Lisa: [hands Bart glue] Here.
 * Bart: Hey, man, I don't want your stupid glue. [throws bottle of glue away next to Maggie's bottle, both bottles look alike]
 * [Maggie is about to suck the glue bottle, Lisa quickly walks away with glue]

 * [After Bart burns her centerpiece, Lisa runs upstairs to her room, crying. Homer sets Bart down and becomes very stern and serious]
 * Homer: Alright, Bart! That's it! Go to your room now!
 * Bart: Okay. I'll take some white meat and stuffing to go. And send up the pumpkin pie in about 20 minutes.
 * Homer: [turns red] I said NOW!
 * Bart: Mom, do I have to?
 * Marge: [angrily confronts Bart] Yes, you do! I hope you're happy, Bart! YOU'VE RUINED THANKSGIVING!

 * [After comforting Lisa, Marge goes to Bart's room]
 * Marge: [sternly] Bart, you can to come down to dinner as soon as you're ready to apologize to your sister, and it's going to be a real apology in front of everybody, and you have to mean it.
 * Bart: Apologize?! For what?! Clearing the table?! Having a sense of humor?! They think they can starve an apology out of me? Ha! [furiously climbs out of the window, angrily jumps down from a tree and lividly lands on some daisies] Uh-oh. I mean... good! [violently jumps up and down on the daisies in anger]

 * Lisa: Bart, why did you burn my centerpiece?
 * Bart: Oh, come on.
 * Lisa: Is it because you hate me or is it because you're bad?
 * Bart: I don't know! I don't know why I did it; I don't know why I enjoyed it; and I don't know why I'll do it again!
 * Lisa: Just tell me you're sorry!
 * Bart: Why should I?!
 * Lisa: Bart, the only reason to apologize is if you look deep down inside yourself and you find a spot, something you wish wasn't there, because you feel bad you hurt your sister's feelings.
 * Bart: Leave me alone.
 * Lisa: Just look!
 * Bart: Ok, ok. Mmmhhuummmhmmmm. Lookin' for the spot. Nananana, still checking. This is so stupid, I'm not gonna find anything. Just 'cause I wrecked something she worked really hard on and I made her cr....uh-oh. [puts hand on Lisa's shoulder] I'm sorry, Lisa.
 * Lisa: Apology accepted. [kisses him]
 * [Camera pans down at Homer who's in the bathroom listening]
 * Homer: You know, Marge, we're great parents. [cut to the kitchen. Simpson family is in pajamas sitting down to a late-night dinner of leftovers. Clock reads 11:35] Dear Lord, we thank You for giving this family one last crack at togetherness.
 * Simpson Family: [in unison] Amen.
 * [Simpsons eat leftovers]

Bart the Daredevil

 * [Bart and Milhouse are at the Simpson house watching TV]
 * Milhouse: Hey, that's my seat.
 * Bart: Correction: was your seat.
 * [Cut to Moe's Tavern]
 * Barney: But I only got up to go to the can!
 * Homer: Hey, I don't see your name engraved on this bar stool.

 * Otto: [about Springfield Gorge] Hey, this thing's pretty gnarly. I bet you could throw a dead body in there, and no one would ever find it.
 * Bart: Otto, I'm going to leap over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
 * Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something.
 * Bart: What?
 * Otto: COOOOOOOOOL!!!

Itchy & Scratchy & Marge

 * Marge: [sees Itchy and Scratchy on TV and Maggie is imitating Itchy's moves using a pencil] So television is responsible. [turns off the TV]
 * Lisa: Hey, we were watching that!
 * Bart: Mom, what are you doing?!
 * Marge: Well, you won't be watching these cartoons anymore. Ever!
 * Lisa: But Mom! If you take away our cartoons, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.
 * Bart: Really? What kind of robots?

 * Krusty: Hi, kids! Laughs] Guess what, Sideshow Mel? [Mel slides his whistle] It's time for Itchy and Scratchy!
 * Parents in the Audience: Booooooo!
 * Krusty: Hey, hey! Settle down boys and girls, or Krusty will have to bring out his old friend, Corporal Punishment again.

 * Kent Brockman: Dr. Marvin Monroe in Vienna, would you care to comment in all of this?
 * Dr. Marvin Monroe: Uh...well, Kent...to me, the hijinks of a few cartoon characters absolutely pale in comparison with the crippling emotional problems a psychiatrist runs into every day. I'm-I'm referring it to women who love too much, fear of winning, sexaholism, stuff like that.
 * Kent: So you have no professional objection to Itchy & Scratchy?
 * Dr. Marvin Monroe: No, not at all. In fact...one of my guilty little pleasures is to snuggle up with a big bucket of butter popcorn, dim the lights, turn on Itchy & Scratchy and...laugh myself silly. And the hell is wrong with that?

Bart Gets Hit by a Car

 * [While spying on Homer and Marge in the next room, Burns almost feels like he's having a panic attack when he hears Homer abrasively refusing his settlement]
 * Homer: I'll tell you what I think. I think he thinks that I'm an idiot! The only reason he's offering us this is because he knows he's going to lose the trial and will have to pay us the cool million! $500,000, I spit at his $500,000! [attempts to spit at the offered check, but misses and hits a chair. He tries to clean off the chair]
 * Marge: [losing her patience with Homer's behavior] Homer, what's happened to you?! All this greediness, lying, the shifty lawyers and the phony doctors!
 * Mr. Burns: [realizes Homer's been using a quack] Phony doctors, hello!
 * Marge: Do you know what I'd settle for if it were up to me? Bart's medical bills and an apology!
 * Mr. Burns: [reappearing on the scene with Smithers, and gets the check to tear it up] And you won't even get that from me either! Sorry, offer's expired! I guess we'll just have to let the jury decide, twelve good men and true. Good day. Smithers, release the hounds!
 * [The hounds chased Homer and Marge out of the mansion]

 * [At the trial the next day, everyone is shocked when Mr. Burns' lawyer calls Marge to the witness stand]
 * Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
 * Marge: Mmm...Yes, I do.
 * Hutz: She sounded like she was taking that awful seriously.
 * Homer: [cringes] D'oh, the truth.
 * Blue-Haired Lawyer: [walks up to her] Mrs. Simpson, does the name Julius Hibbert mean anything to you?
 * Marge: Yes, he's been our family physician and trusted friend ever since the day I became a mother. He's seen us through everything from colds to impetigo all with competence, love and care.
 * Blue-Haired Lawyer: But, wait a minute, I'm confused. We just heard expert testimony from one Dr. Nick Riviera. What is your opinion on him? [Marge becomes nervous and hesitant] Mrs. Simpson!
 * Marge: [trying to plead the fifth] I'm sorry, but my mother always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
 * Homer: Will that hold up in court?
 * Hutz: [glumly admitting] No, I tried that before.

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

 * Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
 * Homer: No way, because I'm not dying!
 * Dr. Hibbert: Second is anger.
 * Homer: [furiously] Why you little...! [shouts madly]
 * Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
 * Homer: [worried] What's after fear? What's after fear?!
 * Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
 * Homer: Doc, you gotta get me outta this. I'll make it worth your while.
 * Dr. Hibbert: Finally acceptance.
 * Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
 * Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

 * [Bart calls Moe's Tavern]
 * Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
 * Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butz.
 * Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody! I want a Seymour Butz! [the entire bar erupts in laughter at Moe] Wait a minute...Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! If I get my hands on you, I am gonna pull out your eye balls with a cork screw!
 * [Bart and Lisa laugh]

The Way We Was

 * Mrs. Bouvier: If you pinch your cheeks, they'll glow. A little more, try to break some capillaries, dear.
 * Young Marge: Couldn't we use just rouge for this?
 * Mrs. Bouvier: Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge.

 *  Young Marge: Why so glum?
 * Young Homer: [sigh] I got a problem. Once you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you, and kiss you, and then I'll never be able to let you go.
 * [Back to the present]
 * Homer: And I never have.

Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment

 * Marge: So kids what did you learn about today?
 * Bart: Hell.
 * Homer: BART!
 * Bart: What? That's what we learned about. I sure as hell can't say we learned about hell unless I can say hell, now can I?
 * Homer: Kid's got a point, Marge.
 * Bart: Hell yes!
 * Marge: Bart.
 * Bart: [sings] Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell.
 * Marge: Bart, you're no longer in Sunday School. Don't swear.

 * [Bart worsens his initial trouble about Top Hat Entertainment]
 * Bart: I wish I was an adult so I could break the rules.

 * [Everyone leaves Homer's house after the fight ends.]
 * Apu: Quite a donnybrook, eh, Mr. Burns?
 * Mr. Burns: Balderdash! Why, I once watched "Gentleman" Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo fellow bare-knuckled for a hundred and thirteen rounds! Of course, back then, if a fight lasted less than fifty rounds, we demanded our nickel back!

Principal Charming

 * Skinner: [see's 40-foot Bart's name on the field] SIMPSON!!!!!! [Bart gulps, cut to the principal's office] Bart, I'm flabbergasted. Surely you knew, as you were writing your own name in 40-foot high letters in the field, that you would be caught.
 * Bart: Maybe it was one of the other Barts, sir.
 * Skinner: THERE ARE NO OTHER BARTS!!
 * Bart: Uh-oh.

 * [Bart prank calls Moe's from Principal Skinner's office.]
 * Bart: Hello? Is Homer there?
 * Moe: Homer who?
 * Bart: Homer... [making sure Skinner's not looking and lowers voice] ...Sexual.
 * Moe: Wait one sec. Let me check. Uh, Homer Sexual? Uh, come on. Come on. One of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual.
 * [The entire bar, including Homer laughs at Moe]
 * Homer: Don't look at me!
 * Moe: Oh no. You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, [we see Skinner holding a phone] I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip ya face off!
 * Skinner: [insulted] You'll do what, young man?!
 * Moe: [taken aback] What, what, wait, who is this?
 * Skinner: I think the real question is who is this, AND WHERE IS HOMER SIMPSON?!?
 * Moe: [realizes his mistake] Whoa whoa, sorry, Principal Skinner, sorry, it's a bad connection, I think. [to Homer] It's for you. I think Bart's in trouble again.
 * Homer: Doh!

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

 * Grampa: Pull your chair closer, my son.
 * Homer: What is it, Dad?
 * Grampa: Pee-yoo! Not that close! Sheesh. Homer, that heart attack made me realize that I'm going to die someday.
 * Homer: Oh, Dad, you and your imagination.

 * [The family says farewell to Herb as his Powell Motors complex is turned into a Komatsu Motors factory]
 * Bart: Bye, Unkie Herb.
 * Lisa: Goodbye, Unkie Herb.
 * Marge: Goodbye, Herb.
 * Homer: Gee, Herb, because of me, you lost your business, your home and all your possessions. I can't help but think that maybe you'd have been better off if I'd never come into your life.
 * Herb Powell: Maybe I would have been better off? Maybe?! Why, you spongehead! Of course I'd have been better off! [boards bus that just arrived] As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother! [bus closes doors and leaves]
 * Marge: [consoles Homer] Hmm. Maybe he just said that to make conversation.
 * Lisa: His life was an unbridled success, until he found out...he was a Simpson.

Bart's Dog Gets an F

 * Homer: [answers phone] Yello?
 * Ms. Winfield: Simpson, this is Sylvia Winfield. That canine of yours is in my pool again! I'm calling the dog warden right now!
 * Homer: Oh, are you?! Well, you go ahead and call your precious dog warden, you old battle-axe! Because my dog is tied up in the backyard!
 * Ms. Winfield: There's only one family on this block — no, on Earth — inconsiderable enough to let a monster like that roam free!
 * Homer: D'oh! [grunts] Are you losing your hearing or are you just stupid? I am going to explain this to you one more time, and then I'm going to hang up on you. It is NOT my dog!!! I TIED MY DOG OUTSIDE MYSELF!!! [looks at backyard] I AM LOOKING AT HIM RIGHT- D'OH!!!
 * [Next scene, Santa's Little Helper shakes off the water while soaking Homer in the process, annoying him further. Ned comes up to him.]
 * Ned: Well, hi-diddly-do, Simpson.

 * Bart: No way, she's faking! If Lisa stays home, I stay home.
 * Lisa: [sarcastically while being sick] If Bart stays home, I'm going to school.
 * Bart: Fine, then...Wait a minute...If Lisa goes to school, then I go to school, but then Lisa stays home, so I stay home, so Lisa goes to school...
 * Marge: Lisa, don't confuse your brother like that.

Old Money

 * Bart: I think Grampa smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet.
 * Lisa: No, I think he smells more like a photo lab.
 * Homer: Stop it, you two! Grampa smells like a normal old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital.

 * Grandpa: What are you doing tonight?
 * Bea: Sitting alone in my room.
 * Grandpa: Oh well, you've got plans already.
 * Bea: No, what were you going to say?
 * Grandpa: Oh nothing.
 * Bea: Oh Abe, you were going to say something.
 * Grandpa: Well, I was wondering if you and I, you know, might go to the same place at the same time and...Jeez! You'd think this would get easier with time!
 * Bea: [takes his hand] I'd love to.

Brush with Greatness

 * Mr. Burns: [offscreen] SMITHERS! I WANT MY TEA!
 * Marge: [to Smithers] Doesn't it bother you that he orders you around like that?
 * Smithers: [chuckles] Actually, I value every second we're together. From the moment I squeeze his orange juice in the morning, till I tuck him in at night. He's not just my boss, he's my best friend too.
 * [Burns enters; Smithers gives him the tea]
 * Burns: [sipping] Bah! Too hot! [throws it on Smithers]
 * Smithers: Right, sir. It's...scalding me as we speak.

 * [Somewhere in Liverpool]
 * Ringo Starr: Dear Sally, in response to your letter of December the 12th, 1966, me favorite color is blue, and me real first name is Richard. Thanks for the snapshot, you're a real cute bird. Love, Ringo. P.S. Forgive the lateness of my reply.
 * Weatherby: Mr. Starr, tea and crumpets.
 * Ringo: Just set it over there.
 * Weatherby: Sir, if you'll forgive an old Brit his impertinence, your devotion to your fans is nothing short of remarkable.
 * Ringo: Well, Weatherby, they took the time to write me, and I don't care if it takes me another 20 years. I'm going to answer every one of them. [picks up a large envelope] Hello, what's this? From Springfield, U.S.A. [sees painting of him] Gear!

 * Ringo: [voiceover via letter] Dear Marge, thank you for the painting. You are a fabulous artist. I put the painting over my mantle. In response to your letter, we do have hamburgers in England, only we call French fries "chips". Love, Ringo. P.S. Forgive the lateness of my reply.

Lisa's Substitute

 * Bart: And here's comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
 * All: EWWW!!
 * Bart: We were gonna keep the grey one, but the mother ate her.
 * All: EWWWW!!!
 * Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
 * Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
 * Bart: Oh look, this is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in!
 * All: AAAHHHHHH!!!!

 * Martin: (excitedly) As your president, I would demand a science fiction library, featuring an ABC of the overlords of the genre: Asimov, Bester, Clarke –
 * Wendell: What about Ray Bradbury?
 * Martin: [dismissively] – I'm aware of his work. (excitedly) Thank you, and keep watching the skies!

 * Mr. Bergstrom: Lisa, your homework is always so neat. How can I put this? Does your father help you with it?
 * Lisa: No. Homework's not my father's specialty.
 * Mr. Bergstrom: Well there's no shame in it, I mean, my dad-
 * Lisa: Not mine.
 * Mr. Bergstrom: You didn't let me finish-
 * Lisa: Unless the next word was "burped", you didn't have to.

The War of the Simpsons

 * [Homer is passed out on the floor as everyone leaves Marge's party]
 * Dr. Hibbert: If you want him to live through the night, I suggest you roll him onto his stomach.
 * Marge: Thank you, Doctor.
 * Dr. Hibbert: Remember, I said "if".

 * [Homer is explaining to Bart in his room about his drunken behavior]
 * Homer: About last night. You might have noticed Daddy acting a little strange and you probably don't understand why.
 * Bart: I understand why. You were wasted.
 * Homer: I admit it. I didn't know when to say "when." I'm sorry it happened and I just hope you didn't lose a lot of respect for me.
 * Bart: Dad, I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.

Three Men and a Comic Book

 * Comic Book Guy: Tell you what. I'm gonna show you something very special if you promise to put your grubby little hands behind your back and keep 'em there. [opens a metal suitcase] Behold!
 * Bart: Wow! Radioactive Man #1!
 * Comic Book Guy: None other!
 * Bart: It must be worth a million bucks...
 * Comic Book Guy: It is, my lad. But I'll let you have it for $100, because you remind me of me.

 * Bart: [grumbles] Moon pies my butt, somebody oughtta moon pie her.
 * Homer: What's the problem, boy?
 * Bart: I've been bustin my hump all week for that withered old clam and all I got was 50 cents.
 * Homer: Hey, when I was your age 50 cents was a lot of money.
 * Bart: Really?
 * Homer: Nah.
 * Bart: Dad, I've done everything I could and I've only got 35 bucks! Ughh! I am through with working, working is for chumps.
 * Homer: [sits up, pats Bart's head] Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.

Blood Feud

 * Mayor Quimby: Chief Wiggum, Archbishop McGee, distinguished guests, I am pleased to dedicate this emergency warning system. In the off-chance of a nuclear disaster, this sign will tell you, the good citizens of Springfield, what to do!
 * [Sign lights up]
 * Sign: RELAX. EVERYTHING IS FINE.
 * Crowd: Ooh!
 * [Strong applause]
 * Sign: MINOR LEAK. ROLL UP WINDOWS.
 * Crowd: Oh.
 * [Moderate applause]
 * Sign: MELTDOWN. FLEE CITY.
 * [Weak applause]
 * Sign: CORE EXPLOSION. REPENT SINS.
 * [Entire crowd stares in stunned silence, save for Homer, Carl and Lenny, who snicker at that sign]
 * Homer: Joke's on them. If the core exploded, there wouldn't even be any power to light that sign!

 * Bart: [about Homer's insulting letter to Mr Burns] The last place I saw it...
 * Homer: Uh-huh...
 * Bart: Was in my hand...
 * Homer: Yeah...
 * Bart': As-I-was-shoving-it-into-the-mailbox.
 * Homer: [shouting] D'oh! [upset] Why did you *do* that?
 * Bart: Dad, there were things in the letter that had to be said. And I know you, you're an emotional guy. Just because you were mad last night, there's no guarantee you'd be mad in the morning, so I figured...
 * Homer: [turns red with anger] I'll show you mad in the morning! [angrily starts strangling Bart]

 * [After the Simpsons receive a large idol head of Xtapolapocetl, the Olmec god of war, as a reward from Burns. Simpsons creator Matt Groening comments that this dialogue sums up the whole show.]
 * Marge: The moral of this story is a good deed is its own reward.
 * Bart: Hey, we got a reward. The head is cool!
 * Marge: Well then... I guess the moral is no good deed goes unrewarded.
 * Homer: Wait a minute! If I hadn't written that nasty letter, we wouldn't have gotten anything!
 * Marge: Well... then I guess the moral is the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
 * Lisa: Perhaps there is no moral to this story.
 * Homer: Exactly! It's just a bunch of stuff that happened.
 * Marge: But it certainly was a memorable few days.
 * Homer: Amen to that! :[The family laughs]

I Simpson (seconda stagione)

title: The Simpsons/Season 2


text:
User talk:210.8.110.33

- InvisibleSun 04:59, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: User talk:210.8.110.33


text:
User talk:Kelly 0

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 05:26, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

Usurpation
Hi, Kelly - I have put in a request to usurp your username. If you object, please blank this notification or leave some sort of response. Kelly1 02:10, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

title: User talk:Kelly 0


text:
User talk:Aparna 111082

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 05:26, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Aparna 111082


text:
User talk:Brawnysteve

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 05:26, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Brawnysteve


text:
Steve Irwin

Stephen Robert Irwin (22 February 1962 – 4 September 2006), most commonly known as Steve Irwin, was the owner and manager of the Australia Zoo at Beerwah, Queensland, Australia. He was best known for the unconventional nature documentary series The Crocodile Hunter.

Quotes

 * I've probably saved thousands of people's lives with my educational message on snake bites, how to get in around venomous anything. Yeah, I'm a thrill seeker, but crikey, education's the most important thing.
 * Online interview at Scientific American online (sciam.com) (26 March 2001)

 * I think my path would have always gone back to or delivered me to wildlife. I think wildlife is just like a magnet, and it's something that I can't help.

 * If something ever happens to me, people are gonna be like 'we knew a croc would get him!'
 * Biography for Steve Irwin (II) in The Internet Movie Database

 * Born a wildlife warrior, die a wildlife warrior.
 * Radio interview on Radio Alice (KLLC 97.3)

 * I have a deep-seated respect for parrots. As gifted as I am with all other wildlife, parrots have this uncanny desire to kill me. I'm not sure why, but they're like my kryptonite!

 * I'm very embarrassing to look at. You know why? Here's why I'm embarrassing: 'cause there's a little bit of me in everybody... I'm like the boy that never grew up. I'm very, very passionate about what I do. I mean, I love what I do....and people are like "God, give this guy a valium or something, you know? Can't he have a bad day?"
 * I've got the Terri factor, mate. I've got this wife that is so incredibly intelligent and strong that I reckon, between us, we'll get through it.
 * from "Enough Rope With Andrew Denton" on ABC, 2003
 * Crikey means gee whiz, wow!
 * Crikey, mate. You're far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building.
 * from "Enough Rope With Andrew Denton" on ABC, 2004

 * I have a message for my fans. Whatever you want to do in this world, it is achievable. The most important thing that I've found, that perhaps you could use, is be passionate and enthusiastic in the direction that you choose in life, and you'll be a winner.
 * from Crikey! What an Adventure on Animal Planet, 2007nb

 * I don't know, man; don't worry about it.
 * from "Broad Street Scientific," 2012 edition, quoted posthumously

 * And [Steve] came up on Croc One, and we sat down and had a talk. And he said, "Look, this is what I want to do and I want you to teach me about it." And I said, "Look, Steve, you do realize that people think you're an absolute moron." And he went, "Yeah." And I said, "Are you?" And he said, "Jamie, do you watch my shows?" And I went, "Not really." And he said, "Do you watch any of them?" And I said, "Yeah, a couple." And he said, "Why do you watch?" I said, "To see what you're gonna do wrong." He said, "Gotcha! The moment I've got you whipped in to see whether I'm gonna do anything wrong, I can tell you anything. And you're gonna remember it."
 * As recounted by Dr. Jamie Seymour, associate professor, Australian Institute of Tropical Health & Medicine. In an interview with Destin Sandlin, YouTube channel SmarterEveryDay, June 16, 2014.

title: Steve Irwin


text:
User talk:213.42.21.81

~ Kalki 06:35, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:213.42.21.81


text:
Mary Renault

Mary Renault (born Mary Challans, 4 September 1905 – 13 December 1983) was an English writer most famous for her historical novels set in ancient Greece.

Quotes

 * Miss Searle had always considered boredom an intellectual defeat.
 * North Face (1948), Ch. 1

 * It is bitter to lose a friend to evil, before one loses him to death.
 * The Praise Singer (1978)

The Charioteer (1953)

 * The rightness of a thing isn't determined by the amount of courage it takes.
 * p. 77

 * Each man in his life honors, and imitates as well as he can, that god to whose choir he belonged, while he is uncorrupted in his first incarnation here; and in the fashion he has thus learned, he bears himself to his beloved as well as to the rest. So, then, each chooses from among the beautiful a love conforming to his kind, and then, as if his chosen were his god, he sets him up and robes him for worship.
 * Phaedrus by Plato, as translated in the novel, p. 104

 * He sees himself in his lover as if in a mirror, not knowing whom he sees, And when they are together, he too is released from pain, and when apart, he longs as he himself is longed for; for reflected in his heart is love's image, which is love's answer. But he calls it, and believes it, not love but friendship…
 * Phaedrus as translated in the novel, p. 104

 * After some years of muddled thinking on the subject, he suddenly saw quite clearly what it was he had been running away from; why he had refused Sandy's first invitation, an what the trouble had been with Charles. It was also the trouble, he perceived, with nine-tenths or the people here tonight. They were specialists. They had not merely accepted their limitations, as Laurie was ready to accept his, loyal to his humanity if not to his sex, and bringing an extra humility to the hard study of human experience. They had identified themselves with their limitations; they were making a career of them. They had turned from all other reality, and curled up in them snugly, as in a womb.
 * p. 141

 * He kept telling me I was queer, and I didn't like it. The word, I mean. Shutting you away, somehow; roping you off with a lot of people you don't feel much in common with, half of whom hate the other half anyway, and just keep together so that they can lean up against each other for support.
 * p. 164

 * You mustn't get so upset about what you feel, Spud. No one's a hundred per cent consistent all the time. We might like to be. We can plan our lives along certain lines. But you know, there's no future in screwing down all the pressure valves and smashing in the gauge. You can do it for a bit and then something goes. Sometimes it gets so that the only thing is just to say, 'That's what I'd like to feel twenty-four hours a day; but, the hell with it, this is how I feel now.'
 * p. 285

The King Must Die (1958)

 * A man is at his youngest when he thinks he is a man, not yet realizing that his actions must show it.

 * Don't you understand even seedtime and reaping? How can people trust the harvest, unless they see it sown?

 * Men who hover over their opponents have no cause to evolve a science of wrestling; and Theseus is conventionally shown in combat with hulking of monstrous enemies, living by his wits. The tradition that he emulated the feats of Herakles may well embalm some ancient sneer at the over-compensation of a small assertive man. Napoleon comes to mind. If one examines the legend in this light, a well-defined personality emerges. It is that of a light-weight; brave and aggressive, physically tough and quick; highly sexed and rather promiscuous; touchily proud, but with a feeling for the underdog; resembling Alexander in his precocious competence, gift of leadership, and romantic sense of destiny.
 * On her portrayal of Theseus in her books, in her "Author's Note", p. 333

The Bull from the Sea (1962)

 * It is better to learn war early from friends, than late from enemies.

 * Go with your fate, but not beyond. Beyond leads to dark places.

The Mask of Apollo (1966)

 * You can make an audience see nearly anything, if you yourself believe in it.

 * Christianity and Islam have changed irrevocably the moral reflexes of the world. The philosopher Herakleitos said with profound truth that you cannot step twice into the same river. The perpetual stream of human nature is formed into ever-changing shallows, eddies, falls and pools by the land over which it passes. Perhaps the only real value of history lies in considering this endlessly varied play between the essence and the accidents.

 * In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul.

Fire from Heaven (1969)

 * He had come back a man, and faithless like a man. He knew that he had longed for her; that true friends share everything, except the past before they met. If only she would weep, even that, and let him comfort her; but she would not humble herself before a man. if only he would run to her side and cling to her; but his manhood was hard-won, no mortal should make him a child again.
 * p. 187

 * Do not believe that others will die, not you.... I have wrestled with Thanatos knee to knee and I know how death is vanquished. Man's immortality is not to live forever; for that wish is born of fear. Each moment free from fear makes a man immortal.

The Persian Boy (1972)

 * When we serve the great, they are our destiny.
 * p. 26

 * But it is not for the perfect vase or the polished gem to choose their owners.
 * p. 29

 * You may keep your ten thousand talents; I am not in want of money, I have taken enough. Why only the half of your kingdom to the Euphrates? You offer me the part in exchange for the whole. Your daughter whom you speak of, I shall marry if I choose, whether given by you or not. Your family is safe; no ransom is required of you; come here yourself and make your suit to me, you shall have them free. If you desire our friendship, you have only to ask.
 * Alexander's answer to the peace treaty offered by Darius III, p. 38

 * So now, for mercy and honor shown to my people, my lord is barbarous; a tyrant, because he punished his would-be murderers, the right of their meanest citizen; a mere vaunting soldier, though wherever he went he brought Greece with him, the Greece he honored, of which these liars are the unworthy heirs.
 * p. 269

 * It is better to believe in men too rashly, and regret, than believe too meanly. Men could be more than they are, if they would try for it. He has shown them that. How many have tried, because of him? Not only those I have seen; there will be men to come. Those who look in mankind only for their own littleness, and make them believe in that, kill more than he ever will in all his wars.
 * On Alexander the Great, p. 312

 * To hate excellence is to hate the gods.
 * p. 400

title: Mary Renault


text:
J. M. W. Turner

William Turner RA (baptized 14 May 1775 – 19 December 1851) was a British Romantic landscape painter, water-colourist, and printmaker. Turner was considered a controversial figure in his day, but is now regarded as the artist who elevated landscape painting to an eminence rivalling.

Quotes of William Turner

 * sorted chronologically, by date of the quotes of William Turner

File:Turner - Quillebeuf, Mouth of the Seine.jpeg|thumb|right|Turner, c. 1833: 'Quillebeuf, Mouth of the Seine', oil on canvas]]

1795 - 1820

 * .. [I] reprobate the mechanically systematic approach of drawing.. ..so generally diffused. I think it can produce nothing but manner and sameness.
 * Quote of Turner's remark, c. 1799 to his colleague Joseph Farington; as cited in the essay 'Draughtsman and Watercolourist', by David Blayney Brown on Tate.org
 * Turner claimed then to have broken free of conventional methods

 * Well, Gaffer [his early friend Mr. Wells, artist] I see there will be no peace till I comply; so give me a piece of paper. There, now, rule the size for me, and tell me what I am to do. [Mr. Wells told him: 'Well divide your subject into classes, say: Pastoral, Marine, Elegant Pastoral, and so forth..']
 * Quote of Turner, c. 1806?; told by Mr Wells' daughter, Mrs. Wheeler; included in The life of J.M.W. Turner, Volume II, George Walter Thornbury; Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 55
 * the first drawings for the publication of Turners's famous print-collection Liber Studiorum started here; Mrs. Clara Wheeler as a young girl sat by his side while Turner was making those drawings. A few years later she have gone out many times, sketching with Turner

 * To select, combine and concentrate that which is beautiful in nature and admirable in art is as much the business of the landscape painter in his line as in the other departments of art.
 * Quote of Turner, c. 1810; as quoted in: Dennis Hugh Halloran (1970) The Classical Landscape Paintings of J.M.W. Turner. p. 75

 * Hawkey - Hawkey [Mr. Fawkes of Farnley Hall, North Yorkshire, close friend of Turner] - come here - come here! Look at this thunderstorm! Isn't it grand? - Isn't it wonderful? - Isn't it sublime?.  .There, Hawkey; in two years you will see this again, and call it 'Hannibal Crossing the Alps'.
 * Quote c. 1810; as quoted in 'A brief history of weather in European landscape art', John E. Thornes, in Weather Volume 55, Issue 10 Oct. 2000, p. 368
 * The sky effects in the 'Hannibal' painting of Turner (Tate Gallery, No. 490) he finished in 1812, were supposedly seen by Turner in Yorkshire whilst visiting his friends the Fawkeses, (Tate Gallery 1975)

 * In our variable climate where [all] the seasons are recognizable in one day, where all the vapoury turbulence involves the face of things, where nature seems to sport in all: her dignity and dispensing incidents for the artist’s study.. ..how happily is the landscape painter situated, how roused by every change in nature in every moment, that allows no languor even in her effects which she places before him, and demands most peremptorily every moment his admiration and investigation, to store his mind with every change of time and place.
 * Quote from Turner's lectures, 1811; as cited in Life and Work of J.M.W. Turner, Andrew Wilton; London: Academy Editions, 1979; as quoted in 'A brief history of weather in European landscape art', John E. Thornes, in Weather Volume 55, Issue 10 Oct. 2000, p. 367-368
 * In 1811 already Turner gave his first lectures as Professor of Perspective; in one of his lectures he spoke of the advantages of the British climate for landscape artists

 * My dear Sir, [Mr. Trimmer] - I lament that all hope of the pleasure of seeing you, or getting to Heston, must for the present probably vanish. My father told me.. ..that you and Mrs. Trimmer would leave Heston for Suffolk as tomorrow, Wednesday..  ..In looking forward to a Continental excursion, and poor Daddy seems as much plagued with weeds as I am with disappointment - that if Miss ... would but waive bashfulness, or, in other words, make an offer instead of expecting one, the same might change occupiers; but not to trouble you further, allow me, with most sincere respect to Mrs. Trimmer and family, to consider myself - Yours most truly obliged, 'J. M. W. Turner.'
 * Quote from Turner's letter to Mr. Trimmer; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A., [[w:Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury] - A new Edition, Revised]; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, pp. 225-26
 * Turner asked assistance about a woman he liked, but not dared to approach; which he met at Trimmer's place at Heston

1821 - 1851

 * Dear Jones, - Two months nearly in getting to this Terra Pictura, and at work; but the length of time is my own fault. [because] I must see the South of France, which almost knocked me up, the heat was so intense, particularly at Nismes and Avignon; and until I got a plunge into the sea at Marseilles, I felt so weak that nothing but the change of scene kept me onwards to my distant point. Genoa, and all the sea-coast from Nice to Spezzia, is remarkably rugged and fine; so is Massa.. .Hope that you have been better than usual, and that the pictures go on well.
 * Quote in Turner's letter from Rome, 13 Oct. 1828 to his friend George Jones; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , Walter Thornbury - A new Edition, Revised; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 101

 * My dear Chantrey, - I intended long before this (but you will say, Fudge) to have written: but even now very little information have I to give you in matters of Art, for I have confined myself to the painting department at Corso; and having finished one, am about the second, and getting on with Lord E.'s, which I began the very first touch at Rome; but as the folk here talked that I would show them not, I finished a small three feet four [painting] to stop their gabbling..
 * Quote in Turner's letter from Rome, 6 Nov. 1828, to his friend Francis Chantrey; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. ,  Walter Thornbury - A new Edition, Revised; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 10

 * Dear Jones.. [I] give you some account of.. ..the last sad ceremonies paid yesterday to departed talent gone to that bourne from whence no traveller returns. Alas, only two short months Sir Thomas followed the coffin of Dawe to the same place. We then were his pall-bearers. Who will do the like for me, or when, God only knows how soon; my poor father's death [Sept. 1829] proved a heavy blow upon me, and has been followed by others of the same dark kind.
 * Quote from Turner's letter, London Feb. 1830, to his friend George Jones in Rome; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 233

 * Chantrey [good friend of Turner] is as gay and as good as ever, ready to serve: he requests, for my benefit, that you bottle up all the yellows which may be found straying out of the right way; but what you may have told him about the old masters which you did not tell me, I can't tell, but we expected to hear a great deal from each other, but the stormy brush of Tintoretto was only to make the 'Notte' more visible.
 * Quote from Turner's letter, London Feb. 1830, to his friend George Jones in Rome; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 234

 * I have appointed you [ his friend, the sculptor Francis Chantry ] one of my executors. Will you promise to see me rolled up in it [in Turner's painting 'Carthage'? ('Yes', responded his friend 'and I promise you also that, as soon as you are buried, I will see you taken up and unrolled.'
 * Quote from Turner's remark, c. 1830's to his friend Chantry; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 244

 * Painting can never show her nose in company with architecture without being snubbed.
 * Quote c. 1840; as cited by by Vol. 1, (1860), p. 208; as quoted in The Life of J. M. W. Turner - Founded on Letters and Papers Furnished by His Friends and Fellow Academicians, Walter Thornbury; Cambridge University Press, 2013, p. 244
 * Turner's remark in the 1840's, when the new built Houses of Parliament in London were to be decorated with pictures

 * He John Ruskin knows a great deal more about my pictures than I do; he puts things into my head, and points out meanings in them that I never intended.
 * Quote of Turner, c. 1840's; as cited by George Walter Thornbury, in The life of J.M.W. Turner, Volume II; Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 130
 * Turner did not appear to be pleased with Mr. Ruskin's superlative eulogies, according to Peter Cunningham

 * If I could find anything blacker than black, I'd use it.
 * Quote of Turner, c. 1842-43; as cited by Philip Gilbert Hamerton (1879) The Life of J. M. W. Turner, R. A. p. 296
 * his reply after the prominent English marine painter had complained, that Turner in his painting 'Peace - Burial at Sea' - he painted after the burial of his artist-friend David Wilkie - had painted the sails in the steamer as black as possible

 * Dear Sir, - I have truly, I must say, written three times, and now hesitate; for did I know your son's works, or, as you say, his gifted merits yet even then I would rather advise you to think well, and not be carried away by the admiration which any friendly hopes (which ardent friends to early talent) may assume: they know not the difficulties or the necessities of the culture of the Fine Arts generally speaking. In regard to yourself, it is you alone can judge how far you are inclined to support him during perhaps a long period of expense; and particularly if you look towards tuition, the more so; for it cannot insure success (however much it may facilitate practice), and therefore it behooves you to weigh well the means in your power before you embark in a profession which requires more care, assiduity, and perseverance than any person can guarantee.
 * Quote from Turner's letter 4 Dec. 1848 to James Astbury Hammersley; as cited in The life of J.M.W. Turner, Volume II, George Walter Thornbury; Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, pp. 115-16
 * James Astbury Hammersley, himself an artist and art-teacher, wrote Turner to ask him to give his son further instructions in painting

 * No, Mr. Williams, certainly not; if Mr. Drake [a solicitor of the English Railway Company] has purchased a 'Turner', he ought to know it is a Turner; I was once silly enough to look at a picture that I was told had been painted by me, and I found myself soon after stuck up in a witness-box, giving evidence about it; I then said I'll never be so silly again.
 * Quote from Turner's remark c. Jan, 1849, to financial agent Mr. Williams; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, pp. 248-249
 * Mr. Drake, the solicitor of the Railway Company, whom Mr. Turner saw when he executed the conveyance, requested Mr. Williams to ask Turner's permission to show him a picture he had purchased as a 'Turner'

 * Dear Hawkesworth, Mother Goose came to a rehearsal before Christmas day, having arrived on Saturday for the knife.. .Many thanks for the brace of pheasants and hares—by the same train—indeed, I think it fortunate, for with all the strife and strike of pokers and stokers for the railroads - their commons every day growing worse - in shareholders and directors squabbling about the winding up the last Bill, to come to some end for those lines known or supposed to be in difficulty..  .I am sorry to say my health is much on the wain. I cannot bear the same fatigue, or have the same bearing against it, I formerly had - but time and tide stop not - but I must stop writing for today..
 * Quote from Turner's letter to Mr. Hawkesworth, 24 December, 1849; as quoted in The life of J.M.W. Turner, Volume II, George Walter Thornbury; Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, pp. 90-91

undated quotes

 * ..indistinctness is my forte.
 * From: Walter Thornbury. The Life of J.M.W. Turner,: ... Founded on Letters and Papers Furnished by His Friends and Fellow Academicians. By Walter Thornbury. In Two Volumes, Volume 2. (1862), p. 243
 * More full text: "Unfortunately I met mr. Turner at the Academy a night or two after I received this letter; and he asked me if I had heard from Mr. Lennox. I was obliged to say ' yes.' ' Well, and how does he like the picture?' 'He thinks it indistinct.' ' You should tell him,' he replied, ' that indistinctness is my forte.'

 * It is necessary to mark the greater from the lesser truth: namely the larger and more liberal idea of nature from the comparatively narrow and confined; namely that which addresses itself to the imagination from that which is solely addressed to the eye.
 * Quoted in: Eric Shanes (2012) The Life and Masterworks of J.M.W. Turner, p. 23

 * My business is to paint what I see, not what I know is there.
 * Turner, quoted in: Donald B. MacCulloch (1927) The Wondrous Isle of Staffa, p. 160
 * Alternative quote: My job is to paint what I see, not what I know
 * As quoted in: George Seferis (1999) A Poet's Journal: Days of 1945-1951. p. 105

 * Then you will do away with the only social meetings [at the Art Academy in London ] we have, the only occasion on which we all come together in an easy, unrestrained manner. When we have no varnishing days, we shall not know one another.
 * Quote of Turner, told by Mr. C?. Leslie; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, pp. 186-87
 * Mr. Leslie gives Turner's respond on the idea to stop with the tradition of the pleasant [varnishing] days of the Academy before the yearly exhibition

 * I never in my whole life could make a drawing like that; I would at any time have given one of my little fingers to have made such a one [one of Girtin's yellow drawings].
 * remark of Turner to Chambers Hall, (before 1855); as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , Walter Thornbury - A new Edition, Revised; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 61

Quotes about Turner

 * sorted chronologically, by date of the quotes about William Turner

1795 - 1840

 * [Turner has] no systematic process for making Drawings – He avoids any particular mode that He may not fall into manner. By washing and occasionally rubbing out, he at last expresses in some degree the idea in his mind.
 * Quote from Joseph Farington's Diary, 21 July 1799; as cited by Garlick and Macintyre eds., 'The Diary of Joseph Farington'' Vol.IV, p. 1255

 * Highly to the credit of this artist [Turner], he is indebted principally to his own exertions for the abilities which he possesses as a painter, and for the respectable situation he holds in society. He may be considered a striking instance of how much may be gained by industry (if accompanied by temperance), even without the assistance of a master. The way he acquired his professional powers was by borrowing, where he could, a drawing or picture to copy from, or by making a sketch of any one in the Exhibition early in the morning, and finishing it at home. By such practices, and by a patient perseverance, he has overcome all the difficulties of the art; so that the fine taste and colour which his drawings possess are scarcely to be found in any other, and are accompanied with a broad, firm chiaroscuro and a light and elegant touch.
 * Quote of Edward Dayes, art teacher of Girtin, 1804; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , [[w:George Walter Thornbury|Walter Thornbury] - A new Edition, Revised]; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 63
 * Dayes]] was art teacher of Turner early friend Girtin who died young in 1802. Turner and Girtin sketched a lot together, along river Thames and around London, c. 1795-96

 * 'One stormy day at Farnley, Turner called to me loudly from the doorway: 'Hawkey - Hawkey! [his friend Mr. Fawkes, of Farnley Hall ] - come here - come here! Look at this thunderstorm! Isn't it grand? - Isn't it wonderful? - Isn't it sublime?' All this time he was making notes of its form and colour on the back of a letter. I proposed some better drawing-block, but he said it did very well. He was absorbed - he was entranced. There was a storm rolling and sweeping and shafting out its lightning over the Yorkshire hills. Presently the storm passed, and he finished. 'There', said he, 'Hawkey; in two years you will see this again, and call it 'Hannibal Crossing the Alps'.
 * Quote of Turner, c. 1810, recorded by his friend Mr. Fawkes, as cited in 'A brief history of weather in European landscape art', John E. Thornes, in Weather Volume 55, Issue 10 Oct. 2000, p. 368
 * The sky effects in the 'Hannibal' painting of Turner (Tate Gallery, No. 490) he finished in 1812, were supposedly seen by Turner in Yorkshire, visiting his friends the Fawkeses, (Tate Gallery 1975)

 * It [the painting Snow Storm: Hannibal and his Army Crossing the Alps ] is so ambiguous as to be scarcely intelligible in some parts (and those the principal), yet as a whole, it is novel and affecting.
 * Quote of John Constable, in a letter to his future wife Maria, 1812; as quoted in: 'A brief history of weather in European landscape art', John E. Thornes, in Weather Volume 55, Issue 10 Oct. 2000, p. 368
 * Constable's remark after visiting the exhibited painting of Hannibal by Turner, in a letter to his future wife Maria about Turner's famous landscape-painting (Tate Gallery, No. 490) - The storm effects in this painting are typical of many of Turner's skies, according to John E. Thornes

 * ..he [Turner] sat at the table [in Farnley ], tearing up the sea with his eagle-claw of a thumb-nail, and working like a madman; yet the detail is full and delicate, betraying no sign of hurry.
 * Quote c. 1816, by one of the Fawkes children; as recorded by Edith Mary Fawkes, typescript in the Library of the National Gallery, London; see also Robert Yardley, 'First Rate Taking in Stores', in Oxford Companion, pp.109–10

 * Turner - never sketched much in oil [like a. o. Constable did]; he always got the colour too brown [if he did]..
 * Quote of Mr. Munro, c. 1836; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , Walter Thornbury - A new Edition, Revised; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 93
 * they traveled together through Switzerland and North-Italy, as he once told his travelling companion

'Autobiography of Cyrus Redding', (c. 1812-1835)

 * Quotes about Turner, from the autobiography of Mr. Cyrus Redding; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , [[w:Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury] - A new Edition, Revised]; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 142-154 (Cyrus Redding frequently joined Turner on his home-tours in Devonshire and Cornwall from 1812; Redding wrote in his autobiography about sketching Turner)

 * His glance commanded in an instant all that was novel in [a] scenery, and a few outlines on paper recorded it unintelligibly to others. He placed these pictorial memoranda upon mill-board, not larger than a sheet of letter-paper, quite a confused mass. How he worked out the details from such sketches seemed to me wonderful. His views around Plymouth, in the engravings from his pictures, were marvelously varied in effect, as well as faithful representations. His first sketches showed little of the after-picture to the unpracticed eye; perhaps he bore much away in memory, and these were only a kind of shorthand, which he deciphered in his studio.
 * p. 143

 * We once ran along the coast to Borough, or Bur Island, in Bibury Bay. . ..The sea was boisterous, the morning unpropitious. Our boat was Dutch built, with outriggers and un-decked.. ..when running out from the land the sea rose higher, until off Stokes Point it became stormy. We mounted the ridges bravely. The sea in that part of the Channel rolls in grand furrows from the Atlantic..  ..All this time Turner was silent, watching the tumultuous scene..  .. The little island [Bur Island], and the solitary hut it held, the bay in the bight of which it lay, and the dark long Bolt head to seaward, against the rocky shore of which the waves broke with fury, made the artist become absorbed in contemplation, not uttering a syllable..  ..While [later] the shell-fish were preparing, Turner, with a pencil, clambered nearly to the summit of the island, and seemed writing rather than drawing. How he succeeded, owing to the violence of the wind, I do not know. He probably observed something in the sea aspect which he had not before noted.
 * pp. 143-44

 * 'The woods are fine, and the views of some of the headlands round which the river winds are of exquisite beauty. In one place he was much struck, took a sketch, and when it was done said, 'We shall see nothing finer than this if we stay till Sunday; because we can't'. It was the last visit he paid to the scenery of the Tamar before he quitted the West. It was to the honour of several of the inhabitants of Plymouth that boats, horses, and tables were ready for his use during the time he remained. Everybody felt that in paying him attention they were honouring a most extraordinary genius..
 * p. 145

 * I remember one evening on the Tamar [river in South-west England]; the sun had set, and the shadows become very deep. Demaria, looking at a seventy-four [ship] lying under Saltash in Cornwall, said, 'You were right, Mr. Turner; the ports cannot be seen. The ship is one dark mass'. 'I told you so', said Turner: 'now you see it all is one mass of shade'. 'Yes, I see that is the truth, and yet the ports are there'. [Turner:] 'We can take only what we see, no matter what is there. There are people in the ship: we don't see them through the planks'. 'True', replied Demaria. There had been a discussion on the subject before between the two professional men, in which Turner had rightly observed that after sunset, under the hills, the port-holes were undiscernible. We now had ocular proof of it.
 * p. 146

 * Turner was struck with admiration at the bridge above the Wear, [near Endsleigh Cottage which he declared altogether Italian.. .. Before six in the [next] morning he rose, and went down towards the bridge. The air was balmy; the strong light between the hills, the dark umbrage, and the flashing water presented a beautiful early scene. Turner sketched the bridge, but appeared, from changing his position several times, as if he had tried more than one sketch, or could not please himself as to the best point. I saw that bridge and part of the scene afterwards in a painting in his gallery. He had made several additions to the scenery near the bridge from his own imagination. The picture was poetical; and, if I remember rightly, he had introduced into it some of the fictitious characters of the heathen mythology; he had bathed it in the gorgeous glories of the southern sun, clothed it in barbaric pearl and gold..
 * p. 147

 * We were sailing together in a boat on the St. Germains river, near Ince Castle.. ..Turner, Collier, and myself were the only persons present, except the boatmen. I was remarking what a number of artists the West of England had produced, particularly Devon and Cornwall. I enumerated all I could remember from Reynolds to Prout. When I had done, Turner said, 'You may add me to the list; I am a Devonshire man'. I demanded from what part of the county, and he replied, 'Barnstaple'. I have many times since repeated the incident to others, who would insist that the artist was a Londoner [officially born in [[w:Maiden Lane, Covent Garden|Maiden Lane, in London].
 * p. 152

 * Turner visited Plymouth (my native town) while I was staying there in the summer of 1813, or perhaps 1814 (1812 ?), painting portraits. As he wished to see the scenery of the river Tamar - [river in South-west England], I accompanied him, together with Mr. Ambrose Johns from Plymouth.. ..to a cottage near Calstock, the residence of my aunt, Miss Pearce, where we all stayed for a few days. From that point as a centre Turner made various excursions, and the result of one of his rambles was a sketch of the scene which afterwards grew into the celebrated picture of the painting 'Crossing the Brook'. The bridge in that picture is Calstock Bridge; some mining works are indicated in the middle distance. The extreme distance extends to the mouth of the Tamar, the harbour of Hamoaze, the hills of Mount Edgcumbe, and those on the opposite side of Plymouth Sound. The whole scene is extremely faithful.
 * pp. 152-153: told to Cyrus Redding by Sir Charles Eastlake

1841 - 1860

 * The large early [watercolor]-drawings of Turner were sponged without friction, or were finished piece by piece on white paper; as he advanced he laid the chief masses first in broad tints, never effacing anything, but working the details over these broad tints. While still wet, he brought out the soft lights with the point of a brush, the brighter ones with the end of a stick; often, too, driving the wet colour in a darker line to the edge of the light, in order to represent the outlines of hills. His touches were all clear, firm, unalterable, one over the other: friction he used only now and then, to represent the grit of stone or the fretted pile of moss; the finer lights he often left from the first, even the minutest light, working round and up to them, not taking them out as weaker men would have done.
 * Quote by John Ruskin, c. 1850's; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , Walter Thornbury - A new Edition, Revised; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 78

 * I was curious in observing what he made of the objects he selected for his sketches, and was frequently surprised to find what a forcible idea he conveyed of a place with scarcely a single correct detail. His exaggerations, when it suited his purpose to exaggerate, were wonderful - lifting up, for instance, by two or three stories, the steeple or rather stunted cone of a village church - and when I returned to London, I never failed to roast him on this habit. He took my remarks in good part, sometimes indeed in great glee, never attempting to defend himself otherwise than by rolling back the war into the enemy's camp..
 * Quote by Leitch Ritchie, c. 1850's; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , Walter Thornbury - A new Edition, Revised; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 108
 * for c. three years Turner and the writer Ritchie were companions in the production of the 'Liber Fluviorum', or 'River Scenery' (Rivers of France), published in 1853

 * Turner was always, from his youth, fond of stones.. .But that gorge [which Turner passed during his trip in the diligence - South-Switzerland, North of Milan]..  ..delighted him exceedingly..  ..[and] was still not well out of his head when the diligence stopped at the bottom of the hill, just at that turn of the road on the right of the bridge, which favourable opportunity Turner seized to make what he called a 'memorandum' of the place, composed of a few pencil scratches on a bit of thin paper, that would roll up with others of the sort and go into his pocket afterwards. These pencil scratches he put a few blots of colour upon (I suppose at Bellinzona the same evening, certainly not upon the spot), and showed me this blotted sketch when he came home [England]. I [Ruskin] asked him to make me a drawing of it, which he did..  .The trees Turner cuts away, and gives the rock a height of about a thousand feet, so as to imply more power and danger in the avalanche coining down the couloir. Next, he raises, in a still greater degree, all the mountains beyond, putting three or four ranges instead of one, but uniting them into a single mossy bank at their base..
 * Quote by John Ruskin, c. 1850's; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, pp. 224-225

 * wherever he [Turner] could get a few minutes, he had his little sketch book out, many being remarkable, but he seemed to tire at last and got careless.. .I don't remember colouring coming out till we got into Switzerland. [When it did, Turner used a sponge to create 'misty and aerial effects'].
 * Quote of Munro of Novar, he told to John Ruskin, c. 1850's; as quoted by A.J. Finberg, The Life of J.M.W. Turner, R.A., Second Edition, Revised, with a Supplement by Hilda F. Finberg, Oxford 1961, p.360

 * Mr. Turner only displayed in the closest intimacy the shrewdness of his observation and the playfulness of his wit. Everywhere he kept back much of what was in him, and while the keenest intelligence, mingled with a strong tinge of satire, animated his brisk countenance, it seemed to amuse him to be but half understood. His nearest social ties were those formed in the Royal Academy, of which he was by far the oldest member, and to whose interest he was most warmly attached.
 * Quote in The Times, 23 December, 1851; as cited in The life of J.M.W. Turner, Volume II, George Walter Thornbury; Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 108
 * Turner died 19 December 1851

 * The zealous care with which Turner endeavoured to do his duty, is proved by a large existing series of drawings, exquisitely tinted, and often completely coloured, all by his own hand, of the most difficult perspective subjects—illustrating not only directions of line, but effects of light - with a care and completion which would put the work of any ordinary teacher to utter shame. In teaching generally — he would neither waste time nor spare it - he would look over a student's drawing at the Academy, point to a defective part, make a scratch on the paper at the side, say nothing. If the student saw what was wanted, and did it, Turner was delighted; but if the student could not follow. Turner left him.
 * Quote of John Ruskin, c. 1850's; describing Turner's perspective lectures; as quoted in The life of J.M.W. Turner, Volume II, George Walter Thornbury; Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 108

 * Turner's late peculiarities in painting arose from the neglect of his earlier works by the public; if he had been encouraged at the time he painted the 'Carthage', the 'Tenth Plague' and the 'Garden of the Hesperides' he would not have become eccentric in his art; his preference for the style of picture last named is proved by his leaving the pictures of the 'Rise of Carthage' and the 'Dutch Coast' to the National Gallery, on the condition of their being hung between the 'Seaport' and the 'Mill' by Claude Lorraine [strongly admired by Turner]. His latter style, though possibly extravagant, was only an excess in representing the developments of nature; he exaggerated all he saw, but the foundation was truth; the vivid and warm colouring of nature he painted with the deepest reds and yellows, the greys he attempted to imitate with blues of too strong a tint, yet the whole was true in principle, in general and particular.
 * Quote of his life-long friend Mr. Jones c. 1850's, about his dead friend Turner; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 245

 * During twenty-five years, he [Turner] indulged the pleasing hope that he should leave a testimony of his good will and compassion for unfortunate artists. To his intimate friends he constantly talked of the best mode of leaving property for the use of the unsuccessful; he wished his survivors to employ his property in building houses for the above-named purpose; he did not like to call them almshouses, but had selected the denomination of 'Turner's Gift'.
 * Quote Mr. Jones, c. 1850's; as cited in 'The life of J.M.W. Turner', Volume II, [[w:George Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury];] Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 157

 * On one occasion [1840's] I had the audacity to ask him [Turner] if he painted his clouds from nature.. .The words had hardly passed my lips when I saw my gaucherie. I was afraid I had roused a thunderstorm; however, my lucky star predominated..  ..after having eyed me for a few moments with a slight frown, he growled out 'How would you have me paint them?' Then seizing upon his fishing-rod, and turning upon his heel, he marched indignantly out of the house to the water's-edge.
 * Quote of Mr. Rose, of Jersey [an old friend of Turner], c. 1860; as quoted in The life of J.M.W. Turner, Volume II, George Walter Thornbury; Hurst and Blackett Publishers, London, 1862, p. 95

'Rev. Henry Scott Trimmer', (late 1850's)

 * Quotes about Turner, by Rev. Henry Scott Trimmer, 1850's; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , [[w:Walter Thornbury|George Walter Thornbury] - A new Edition, Revised]; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 116-139 + 254. (Ev. Henry Scott Trimmer was the youngest son of Sarah & James Trimmer ); as a little boy already he followed Turner for many years, since his father's friendship with the painter)

 * At the beginning of the century Turner had a place at Hammersmith Mall [West-London, from c. 1802], The garden, which ran down to the river, terminated in a summer-house; and here, out in the open air, were painted some of his best pictures. It was here that my father [James Trimmer], who then resided at Kew, became first acquainted with him; and expressing his surprise that Turner could paint under such circumstances, he [Turner] remarked that lights and room were absurdities, and that a picture could be painted anywhere.
 * p. 116

 * The old man [Turner's father] latterly was his son's willing slave, and had to strain his pictures, and varnish them when finished; which made Turner say that his father began and finished his pictures for him. But I doubt if he varnished many pictures; few of them, I believe, were varnished at all; still he was of great assistance to his son, and I think it was Mr. Turner the engraver who told me that, once making bold to enter Turner's studio, he found the old man on his knees colouring a canvas, when Turner made his appearance, and good-humouredly trundled out the visitor [Turner, the engraver], telling him he was on forbidden ground. Turner was much attached to his father, and at his death stayed with us a few days at Heston for change of scene. He was fearfully out of spirits, and felt his loss, he said, like that of an only child.. .Turner never appeared the same man after his father's death [in 1829]; his family was broken up..
 * pp. 116-17

 * About this time [c. 1812] Turner removed to Twickenham, where he purchased Sandycomb Lodge, near Richmond Bridge [London]. It was an unpretending little place, and the rooms were small. There were several models of ships in glass cases, to which Turner had painted a sea and background. They much resembled the large vessels in his sea pieces. Richmond scenery greatly influenced his style. The Scotch firs (or stone-pine) around are in most of his large classical subjects, and Richmond landscape is decidedly the basis of 'The Rise of Carthage'. Here he had a long strip of land, planted by him so thickly with willows that his father, who delighted in the garden, complained that it was a mere osier-bed. Turner used to refresh his eye with the run of the boughs from his sitting-room window.
 * p. 119

 * He had a boat at Richmond.. ..I have seen him start on his sketching expeditions. From his boat he painted on a large canvas direct from Nature. Till you have seen these sketches, you know nothing of Turner's powers. There are about two score of these large subjects, rolled up, and now national property. In my judgment these are among his very finest productions: no retouching, everything firmly in its place..  ..Turner's mind was so comprehensive that he could not carry out the detail, though he was far from despising it; and I was told by [Henry] Howard he would spend hours sketching a stone. There is a red sunset (simply the sky) among the rolls; the finest sky, to my mind, ever put on canvas.
 * p. 121

 * Besides his boat, he had a gig and an old horse; an old crop-eared bay horse, or rather a cross between a horse and a pony. In this gig he used to drive out sketching, and take my father [James Trimmer] and myself with him. His sketching apparatus was under the seat. I remember once going on an expedition of this kind to Staines, and thence to Runnymede, where he made some sketches. From there he painted a picture which strongly resembles the place to this day. We went, I remember, at a very steady pace, for Turner painted much faster than he drove. He said, 'if when out sketching you felt at a loss, you had only to turn round or walk a few paces farther, and you had what you wanted before you.' He has immortalized his old crop-ear in his [painting] 'Frosty Morning'.
 * p. 121

 * Henry Howard, R.A., was an early friend of my father's; and he and Turner have stayed with us at Heston. I remember, when I was about five years old, going to Penn, in Buckinghamshire, with Howard, Turner, and my father [c. 1812]; all of them in search of the picturesque. We went in a post-chaise, and, when tired, my father carried me pick-a-back. We came to a halt in a grove or copse where luxuriated wild flowers in profusion. It was a charming day; and, though so many 'years bygone' I can see now vividly before me my father and Howard, both standing legs a-straddle, and Turner at a little distance in a ditch, all hard at work at the easthetical. After a while Turner emerged from his retreat with a capital water-colour, with which Howard and my father were in raptures. He said he got into the ditch to avoid the sun, but Howard whispered my father that it was to avoid showing his modus operandi. I have heard this from my father subsequently..
 * pp. 122-23

 * Howard.. ..often got into warm professional disputes with him [Turner]. But Turner was mostly in the right. They once, I remember, had a very hot dispute, and for the time being lost temper. Howard maintained they should paint for the public; Turner, that public opinion was not worth a rush, and that one should paint only for judges..  ..The vulgar, on the whole, would understand form better than colour, and low subjects better than cultivated ones; so that Turner argued wisely, with reference to himself, in painting for the cultivated few.
 * p. 123

 * Turner was very communicative to my father [in instruction], and would point out to him any defect in sketching. I think he fairly instructed my father in painting in his own method; which was to lay the dead colours as nearly as possible in the forms you wished, leaving as little as possible for finishing, using as a vehicle nothing but linseed oil, diluted as required in spirits of turpentine.
 * p. 123

 * I have heard him speak most enthusiastically in praise of Gainsborough's execution and Wilson's tone, and he plainly thought himself their inferior. My father had some admirable oil sketches of Gainsborough; and these Turner one evening examined by candle-light so closely that the next morning he complained of having hurt his eyes.
 * p. 125

 * Turner and Thomson of Duddingston, whom he met at Edinburgh, belonged to the same set of artists and painters, and used to go out sketching and painting together. At the meetings of the clique Turner would constantly battle with them upon the subject of light, trying to gain from Brewster and other 'savans' information thereon; and it is supposed that the discussions contributed to form a theory which enabled him to create the varied effects he has displayed in his works. To such a height, indeed, did he carry the verbal contests that the subject, it is said, finally was prohibited; and he then became more earnest to discover what combination of colour would produce light.
 * pp. 138-39
 * This story was told to Mr. Birch by Mr. Birch

 * Many years ago, when he was making sketches for the 'Provincial Antiquities' [Scottish!] in the company of Cadell, the Edinburgh bookseller, as they passed Norham, Turner took off his hat and made a low bow to the ruins. Observing this strange act of homage, Cadell exclaimed, 'What the Devil are you about now?' 'Oh,' was Turner's reply, 'I made a drawing or painting of Norham several years since.. ..and from that day to this I have had as much to do as my hands could execute.
 * p. 139

 * ..Turner did not believe that colour was reducible to system; and Gainsborough, when painting his 'Blue Boy' seems to have been of the same opinion.
 * pp. 252-53

1861 and later

 * I knew him, when a boy, and have often paid him a guinea for putting backgrounds to my architectural drawings, calling upon him for this purpose at his father's shop in Maiden Lane, Covent Garden. He never would suffer me to see him draw, but concealed, as I understood, all that he did in his bedroom.
 * Quote of an old architect, c. 1860-70's, about young Turner; as cited in The Life of J. M. W. Turner R.A. , Walter Thornbury - A new Edition, Revised; London Chatto & Windus, 1897, p. 39
 * c. 1889-1890 young Turner was earning money by making colouring prints, and washing in skies for several architects

 * After plunging them into water, he [Turner] dropped the colours onto the paper while it was wet, making marblings and gradations throughout.. .His completing process was marvellously rapid, for he indicated his masses and incidents, took out half-lights, scraped out high-lights and dragged, hatched and stippled until the design was finished. This swiftness, grounded in the scale practice in early life, enabled Turner to preserve the purity and luminosity of his work, and to paint at a prodigiously rapid rate.
 * as the painter James Orrock remembered being told by one of Turner's colleagues; as quoted by B. Webber, James Orrock, R.I., London 1903, pp.60-61; as quoted by David Blayney Brown in 'Draughtsman and Watercolourist'
 * quote about Turner's fast way of working in watercolor-painting in the 1820-30's, including working on several subjects at a time

 * Turner was much more interested in the interplay between the atmosphere and sunlight and how he could use this to heighten the effects of his landscapes and seascapes. John Constable rarely painted the atmosphere at all but concentrated on the clouds and the sky. The visibility in Constable's landscapes is nearly always very good, such that the horizon can be clearly seen; he rarely painted mist or fog. Turner on the other hand delighted in mist and fog which often blot out the horizon and sky in his paintings.
 * Quote of John E. Thornes, in 'A brief history of weather in European landscape art', in Weather Volume 55, Issue 10 Oct. 2000, p. 368

title: J. M. W. Turner


text: User:Ansell

title: User:Ansell


text:
User talk:JaGuar 0041

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 09:50, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

Libel and personal attacks
I am sorry to have to post this message to a new user, but I have blanked your user page because it contains material that has been identified as a likely personal attack against an non-notable living person, without any attempt to source the material from reliable sources. The content of user pages is largely up to the user, but they are first and foremost provided to assist users for Wikiquote purposes. "No personal attacks" is a key principle that must be observed by all users, and libel is not acceptable quote material. Further attempts to replicate this information without substantiating it by providing evidence of subject notability and quote sourcing will result in a block on editing. Thank you for your cooperation. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 09:56, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

 * I thought it was up to me what i put on my personal page, and ive also seen that the rules clearly state that your allowed personal quotes on your personal page, sorry allmost 4got to sign JaGuar 0041 09:36, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

 * User pages here are places where users can post whatever they feel inclined to state about themselves and their interests, within the limits established by the policies of the Wikimedia Foundation, and the purposes of its projects.

 * The userpages are not merely free web pages for users to post whatever they wish, and permitting incidents of libel, slander, or impersonation to remain upon them are definitely against Foundation policies. The continuing acts of vandalism, impersonation and harassment revolving around any pages dealing with "Greg Buk" and comments about him, are sufficient to prompt administrator intervention where unsubstantiated claims are made about him, including the claim of being him. ~ Kalki 10:01, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

 * You serious, cant even put stuff on my own page, bah to hell with this wikiquote nonsense!

For the most part, Wikiquotians do indeed have a wide latitude over what they can place on their user pages. As Kalki said, however, there are some things that are not acceptable material on any pages within Wikiquote, or any Wikimedia project. First and foremost is material that violates the law or opens the Wikimedia Foundation to lawsuits, including copyright violations and libelous material.

You claim to be the "real" Greg Buk, but we have no way to verify that. Your personal testimony is irrelevant, just as mine would be if I claimed to be "Sam Lee". Several other factors provide us with compelling reasons not to believe your claim:

 * The material you added was essentially the same contained with the article "Greg Buk", which seemed less like a set of personal quotes than an attempt to smear this "Greg Buk", hardly an expected attitude of someone toward himself.

 * This material first came to Wikiquote's attention when someone also claiming to be "Greg Buk" complained it was a personal attack against him, which seemed far more likely.

 * Wikipedia has had to repeatedly delete re-creations its own "Greg Buk" article, which strongly suggests that there are one or more individuals that were determined to ignore WP practices, and who have apparently moved their fight to Wikiquote, a pattern we're quite familiar with here.

 * The juvenile quality of the writing involved not only in these "quotes" but in the arguments at WQ:VFD supported the growing suspicion that the participants in this debate are all school children, who frequently demonstrate an inability or unwillingness to follow Wikiquote policies or engage in reasoned discussion.

Regardless of who or how old they are, editors are not allowed to use their user pages as a soapbox to promote non-project-related matters or to attack people, especially non-famous people, and most especially children, even if they themselves are children. Wikiquote is not a schoolyard, it is a serious project to collect quotes from famous people and creative works. If you have read Userpage (i.e., "the rules"), as you suggest above, please re-read the section titled "Ownership and editing of pages in the user space", especially the line:

 * Community policies, including no personal attacks, apply to your user space just as they do elsewhere.

Even if you were "Greg Buk", your attempts to promote an article about yourself without providing any evidence that you are notable on the world stage (not within a single school), combined with your lack of editing on any other subject, would mark you as a "vanity" editor, not someone interested in contributing to Wikiquote's purpose.

You seem to feel that Wikiquote should be like MySpace, where you can write anything you wish on your user page. What Wikiquote is not clearly states that "Wikiquote is not a personal website". User pages exist to help users serve the goals of Wikiquote with some freedom to express themselves, but they are not social networking services. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:58, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

Blocked
I have blocked your account for 3 days for vandalizing someone else's posting (mine) to a user talk page. Changing other users' talk-page posts, even on your own talk page, is a violation of Wikipedia:Etiquette. Replacing words in such material with scatalogical terms is vandalism.

You have consistently demonstrated an unwillingness to follow Wikiquote policies and practices. If you do so again, your user account may be blocked permanently. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:01, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:JaGuar 0041


text:
User talk:4.242.210.146

An editor using this IP address recently reverted the addition of an unsourced quote from Steve Irwin in Last words, citing "Vandalism" in the edit summary. Although the effort to remove unsourced quotes is appreciated, I would ask the editor not to say "vandalism" unless it is clear that the material reverted is a deliberate attempt to sabotage or undermine Wikiquote. In this case, there appears to be a possibly misguided effort to add a "last words" quote from Irwin, who unexpectedly died today in an underwater accident. I would recommend treating these unsourced additions as merely incorrect and therefore worthy of removal, but not vandalism. (I find a summary like "rv unsourced quote" to be accurate without implying any ill intent.) Thank you for your assistance. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:08, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

 * I was thinking about the asumption of good faith principle, but at the time it was rather clear it was a bad joke at the late Steve Irwins expense since one of is catch phrases is "Crikey!" will make it more generic next time if there is one.--4.242.192.137 12:47, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

 * There's a good chance your thinking is correct, of course, but things tend to go more smoothly when we assume the best at first. The smart alecks eventually stop when they get bored, and we don't insult anyone who actually meant well. Thanks for understanding. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 23:38, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:4.242.210.146


text:
User talk:Sidp~enwikiquote

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:25, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Sidp. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Sidp~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:34, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:58, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Sidp~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Matthew K

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:25, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Matthew K


text:
User talk:IStan~enwikiquote

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:25, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called IStan. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name IStan~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:25, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:49, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:IStan~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Lachlanp

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:25, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Lachlanp


text:
User talk:Ansell

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:25, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Ansell