text:
Talk:Saddam Hussein

Kerry quote
removed: Unless someone sees this as useful go ahead and add it... ~ RoboAction 01:15, 30 Jan 2005 (UTC)
 * "We have traded a dictator for a chaos that has left America less secure."
 * John Kerry

No, I think it does not paint Saddam rosily enough for most of the wikipedians to want to keep this quote. They will try to look up a quote that doesn't mention the heretic word "dictator"- perhaps something more balanced (especially to his victims): "Unanimously Elected President", or "Democratically Challanged Ruler" seems those are the harshest terms they can come up with.

Just look at his main entry in wikipedia, Mahatma Ghandi doesn't get such an endearing intro. "A rising star in the revolutionary Ba'ath Party"... hopefully no one will read to the end where they hint, as unobtrusively as possible, of some of the favourite extracorricular activities of this rising star...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saddam_Hussein

if you like to recitify this appalling situation a little bit, you are most cordially invited to replace the scandalous second paragraph in the intro with this one I have prepared: (I got banned for it)

http://www.geocities.com/npov2004/saddamwiki.htm

Negative quotes
Why are these all negative quotes? Saddam was a man of God, at least in his head. One quote that should be found first, then added is roughly, The worst thing is when man forgets the place of God. It was in an interview with some woman. Find it, don't delete this! I will continue to repost it if you do. --69.67.229.171 05:06, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

Last words
I plan to remove attempts to add Saddam Hussein's last words to this article unless and until someone can provide citations from reliable sources for these. As with so many hot topics in the world, I expect there will be far more people willing to put words into his mouth than dig up reliable information. At the moment, I have the following information from a reliable source:
 * Then Saddam began reciting the "Shahada", a Muslim prayer that says there is no god but God and Muhammad is his messenger, according to an unabridged copy of the same tape, apparently shot with a camera phone and posted on a website. Saddam made it to midway through his second recitation of the verse. His last word was Muhammad.

This would seem to indicate that it will be hard to get his exact "last words", but that they will be part of the Shadada. Of course, this report is third-hand, via an unidentified person and unidentified website, and light on details, so it's not particularly satisfying. I imagine this will be the state of the question until we achieve some distance from the event itself, allowing more reasoned analysis of the available information to provide us with more solid information. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 05:12, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

Bush Quote
"Goodbye Saddam Hussein. The world is better off without you." This is unsourced, and simply doesn't sound like President George W. Bush. I removed it. User:Spock 156.34.27.23 01:25, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Thanks for the note. It is perfectly acceptable to remove unsourced quotes, especially if they seem implausible. You don't need to leave a talk-page message, but it's a good idea to say something in the edit summary (the input box just above the "Save" and "Preview" buttons) when you make the edit. An edit summary like "removed unsourced, implausible Bush quote" can help prevent re-addition, signal an intent to defend such a removal, or at least provide a reason that will allow others to defend it. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 02:11, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

Unsourced

 * I wish things were like when Ronald Reagan was still president.
 * Reported in the July 2005 issue of GQ, which quoted Spc. Sean O'Shea, one of Hussein's former guards.

 * If Israel attacks any Arab country ... we have the means to burn half of Israel.
 * Speech at an Arab League summit in 1989 (translated from Arabic)

 * Kuwait is an Iraqi territory. It was not an invasion.
 * Statement at his trial in 2006.

 * Of the lessons also gained from the history of mankind is the fact that greed and arrogance, when combined, lead the oppressor to do injustice not only to others, but to himself as well; once this combination of greed and arrogance has misled him into a sense of undefeatable capability and power, as he takes the road of falsehood and aggression, committing the most heinous acts and proceeding from that sick imagination, to fall down the precipice and then into hell.

 * One of the lessons of recent and distant history is that all empires and bearers of the coffin of evil, whenever they mobilized their evil against the Arab nation, or against the Muslim world, they were themselves buried in their own coffin, with their sick dreams and their arrogance and greed, under Arab and Islamic soil; or they returned to die on the land from which they had proceeded to perpetrate aggression. This has been the case with all empires preceding our present time.

 * You gotta find a good woman. Not too smart, not too dumb. Not too old, not too young. One that can cook and clean.
 * to a guard of his named Specialist Sean O'Shea after his capture by U.S. forces)

 * I will not return! I will not come to an unjust court! Go to hell!
 * To the judge at the end of a court session on December 6, 2005.

 * That Mummy.
 * On Ayatollah Khomeini during the Iran-Iraq war.

 * You are scared of the interior minister. He doesn't scare my dog.
 * To Judge Rauf Abdel Rahman.

 * Keep them separated and interrogate them.
 * After personally interrogating citizens in Dujail, after an assassination attempt.

About Saddam Hussein

 * Your Excellency, Mr President: I greet you, in the name of the many thousands of people in Britain who stood against the tide and opposed the war and aggression against Iraq and continue to oppose the war by economic means, which is aimed to strangle the life out of the great people of Iraq.
 * George Galloway

 * We are safer, the region is safer, the world is safer without him.
 * Iyad Allawi

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Talk:Saddam Hussein


text:
Template:Sisterproject

 |

title: Template:Sisterproject


text:
User:Ot

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ot

title: User:Ot


text:
User talk:Maveric149

Your idea for providing a more automated process for changing the quotes of the day is probably a good one, and your offer to work on this is accepted. I don't believe there is an urgent need for it though, so take whatever time you need to adapt your work on the Wikipedia to the pages here, and certainly do not consider it as an immediate priority. Setting up such a system with slots for the months or year ahead, could eventually allow for more input in the general selection processes, and this would probably be a good thing. I think it would still be a good idea for the system to always be able to accommodate last minute changes by admins for the upcoming day or week ahead, especially in cases of notable events that might merit the sudden addition of quotes and the postponement of others. Natural disasters, the death of famous figures, and other important or peculiar occurrences are all things to which it I think it would be good to be able to make some response by revising selections. Thanks in advance for whatever work it takes. ~ Kalki 15:30, 30 Jan 2005 (UTC)

Thanks for all the work today. I certainly didn't expect so immediate a transformation, but it seems to be set up well, and I've added a quote for the 31st, which is only about an hour away on the UTC. ~ Kalki 23:01, 30 Jan 2005 (UTC)

 * NP. :) --mav

title: User talk:Maveric149


text:
Tropic of Cancer

Tropic of Cancer is a novel by Henry Miller, noted for its candid descriptions of sexuality. It was first published in 1934 in Paris, France, but this edition was banned in the United States. Its publication in 1961 in the U.S. led to obscenity trials that tested American laws on pornography in the early 1960s. In 1964, the U.S. Supreme Court declared the book non-obscene. It is widely regarded as an important masterpiece of 20th-century literature.

Set in France (primarily Paris) during the late 1920s and early 1930s, the novel centers on Miller's life as a struggling writer. Combining autobiography and fiction, some chapters follow a narrative of some kind and refer to Miller's actual friends, colleagues, and workplaces; others are written as stream-of-consciousness reflections that are occasionally epiphanic. The novel is written in the first person, as are many of Miller's other novels, and does not have a linear organization, but rather fluctuates frequently between the past and present.

Quotes

 * I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.

 * On the meridian of time there is no injustice: there is only the poetry of motion creating the illusion of truth and drama. If at any moment anywhere one comes face to face with the absolute, that great sympathy which makes men like Gautama and Jesus seem divine freezes away; the monstrous thing is not that men have created roses out of this dung heap, but that, for some reason or other, they should want roses.

 * When you decide to give up the ghost, Everything else follows even in midst of wildest chaos.

 * A year ago, six months ago, I thought that I was an artist. I no longer think about it, I am. Everything that was literature has fallen from me. There are no more books to be written, thank God. This then? This is not a book. This is libel, slander, defamation of character. This is not a book, in the ordinary sense of the word. No, this is a prolonged insult, a gob of spit in the face of Art, a kick in the pants to God, Man, Destiny, Time, Love, Beauty ... what you will.

 * For a hundred years or more the world, our world, has been dying. And not one man, in these last hundred years or so, has been crazy enough to put a bomb up the asshole of creation and set it off. The world is rotting away, dying piecemeal. But it needs the coup de grace, it needs to be blown to smithereens. Not one of us is intact, and yet we have in us all the continents and the seas between the continents and the birds of the air. We are going to put it down -- the evolution of this world which has died but which has not been buried.

 * I am crying for more and more disasters, for bigger calamities, for grander failures. I want the whole world to be out of whack, I want everyone to scratch himself to death.

 * Still prowling around. Mid-afternoon. Guts rattling. Beginning to rain now. Notre-Dame rises tomb-like from the water. The gargoyles lean far out over the lace facade. They hang there like an idea fixd in the mind of a monomaniac. An old man with yellow whiskers approaches me. Has some Jaworski nonsense in his hand. Comes up to me with his head thrown back and the rain splashing in his face turns the golden sands to mud.

 * Nothing will avail to offset this virus which is poisoning the whole world. America is the very incarnation of doom. She will drag the whole world down to the bottomless pit.

 * It is not difficult to be alone if you are poor and a failure. An artist is always alone - if he is an artist. No, what the artist needs is loneliness.

 * I've lived out my melancholy youth. I don't give a fuck anymore what's behind me, or what's ahead of me. I'm healthy. Incurably healthy. No sorrows, no regrets. No past, no future. The present is enough for me. Day by day.

 * All the men she's been with and now you, just you, and the barges going by, masts and hulls, the whole damned current of life flowing through you, through her, through all the guys behind you and after you, the flowers and the birds and the sun streaming in and the fragrance of it choking you, annihilating you.

 * Nobody, so far as I can see, is making use of those elements in the air which give direction and motivation to our lives. Only the killers seem to be extracting from life some satisfactory measure of what they are putting into it. The age demands violence, but we are getting only abortive explosions. Revolutions are nipped in the bud or else succeed too quickly. Passion is quickly exhausted. Men fall back on ideas, comme d'habitude. Nothing is proposed that can last more than twenty four hours. We are living a million lives in the space of a generation. In the study of entomology, or deep sea life, or cellular activity, we derive more...

 * There was a touch of spring in the air, a poisonous, malefic spring that seemed to burst from the manholes. Night after night I had been coming back to this quarter, attracted by certain leprous streets which only revealed their sinister splendor when the light of day had oozed away and the whores commenced to take up their posts.

Quotes about

 * Henry Miller... was already in his forties when his first and most famous novel, Tropic of Cancer, appeared in 1934. It was not until many years later, when it came out as a paperback, that the book was banned in the United States. This made it more celebrated than ever. After decades of exclusion the first British edition hit this country soon after the Lady Chatterly’s Lover furore and the vindication of Lawrence’s novel in our courts, so that moral reactions were somewhat inhibited. We were well spared a second such cause célèbre.  Though frankly obscene, Miller’s already widely-read book could hardly be thought dangerously corrupting. The vital sleaziness of the writing, with its unrestrained sexual adventures, meant more than one thing to many men. Some saw in it a fertilising compost heap. There were clergymen who found him religious. There were critics who judged him to be some kind of sage and even saint, Ezra Pound admired him. George Orwell praised him, Lawrence Durrell was his friend and brought out the best in him (The best of Henry Miller, which appeared in 1960).
 * Norman Shrapnel, Beat generation writer Henry Miller dies, The Guardian   (9 June 1980)

title: Tropic of Cancer


text:
User:Maveric149/sandbox

Quote of the day

Quote of the day/January 2005

title: User:Maveric149/sandbox


text:
Template:QoDBar2005

2004 - 'Quote of the day' archive for 2005 - About January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December --- Today is Monday, July 29, 2024; it is now (UTC) --

title: Template:QoDBar2005


text:
Template:QoDempty

 * The quote for this day has not been chosen yet. See Quote of the day for guidelines.

title: Template:QoDempty


text:
Robert De Niro

Robert De Niro, Jr. (born August 17, 1943) is an American film actor, director, producer, and founder of the Tribeca Film Festival. He has won an Academy Award twice.

Quotes

 * These movies are like my children, except you can't remake my children in 3D to push up the grosses.
 * 2011 Golden Globe Awards. CNN, January 16, 2011.

 * I don’t know, it’s crazy that people like Donald Trump ... he shouldn’t even be where he is, so God help us. What he’s been saying is really totally crazy, ridiculous ... he is totally nuts. But I think now they are really starting to push back, the media ... finally they are starting to say, ‘come on Donald, this is ridiculous, this is nuts, this is insane.
 * Sarajevo film festival, (12 Aug 2016)

 * The administration’s mean-spiritedness towards our art and entertainment is an expression of their mean-spirited attitude about people who want that art and entertainment, people who also want and deserve decent wages, a fair tax system, a safe environment, education for their children and healthcare for all.
 * 44th annual Chaplin Award acceptance speech, (May 8, 2017)

 * When you started school, the country was an inspiring, uplifting drama. You are graduating into a tragic, dumbass comedy. My advice is to lock the [university’s] Van Wickle gates and stay here.
 * Brown University 249th commencement (May 28, 2017)

 * I’m gonna say one thing. Fuck Trump. It’s no longer down with Trump. It’s fuck Trump.
 * 72nd Tony Awards, (June 8, 2018)

 * There’s something more powerful than bombs, and that’s your vote. People must vote!
 * Catherine Shoad, “Robert De Niro: 'Votes are more powerful than bombs'”, The Guardian, (October 26, 2018)

 * We are in a moment in our lives, in this country, where this guy is like a gangster. We say over and over again: ‘This is terrible, we’re in a terrible situation, we’re in a terrible situation,’ and this guy just keeps going on and on and on without being stopped.
 * Reliable Sources, CNN, (September 29, 2019)

 * Give him a chance. That’s what I said right after he was elected. Give him a chance. I give everybody the benefit of the doubt. This guy has proven himself to be a total loser.
 * The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, CBS, (November 26, 2019)

 * Even gangsters have morals, and they have ethics. They have a code, and you know when you give somebody your word, it’s your word, because it’s all you have is your word. This guy, he doesn’t even know what that means.
 * The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, CBS, (November 26, 2019)

 * It’s Shakespearean, the whole thing. You’ve got a lunatic saying things that people are trying to dance around. It’s appalling. He wants to be reelected. He doesn’t even care how many people die.
 * Newsnight, BBC, (May 12, 2020)

 * He doesn’t care for those people, and the people who he pretends to care about are the people he has the most disdain for. They might like to tell themselves or to delude themselves, but he doesn’t care about them.
 * Newsnight, BBC, (May 12, 2020)

What I've Learned

 * |esq|emb| Esquire, January 2003.

 * I like it when interviews are brief. Are we done yet?
 * Some people say, "New York's a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there." I say that about other places.
 * There's no such thing as not being afraid.
 * I didn't have a problem with rejection, because when you go into an audition, you're rejected already. There are hundreds of other actors. You're behind the eight ball when you go in there.
 * The hardest thing about being famous is that people are always nice to you. You're in a conversation and everybody's agreeing with what you're saying—even if you say something totally crazy. You need people who can tell you what you don't want to hear.
 * When I'm directing a great dramatic scene, part of me is saying, "Thank God I don't have to do that." Because I know how fucking hard it is to act. It's the middle of the night. It's freezing. You gotta do this scene. You gotta get it up to get to that point. And yet, as a director, you've got to get the actors to that point. It's hard either way.
 * As you get older, the more complicated things get. It's almost therapeutic to be doing simple things with the kids.
 * If you don't go, you'll never know.

Robert De Niro: ‘Trump is a real racist, a white supremacist’

 * David Smith, "Robert De Niro: ‘Trump is a real racist, a white supremacist’", The Guardian, (January 6, 2019)

 * I’m older now and I’m just upset about what’s going on. When you see someone like [Trump] becoming president, I thought, well, OK, let’s see what he does – maybe he’ll change. But he just got worse. It showed me that he is a real racist. I thought maybe as a New Yorker he understands the diversity in the city but he’s as bad as I thought he was before – and much worse. It’s a shame. It’s a bad thing in this country.
 * If he had his way, we’d wind up in a very bad state in this country. I mean, the way I understand it, they laughed at Hitler. They all look funny. Hitler looked funny, Mussolini looked funny and other dictators and despots look funny.
 * What bothers me is that there will be people in the future who see him as an example and they’ll be affected in some way, but they’ll be a lot smarter and have many more colours to their personality and be more mercurial and become someone with the same values as he has but able to get much further and do more damage as a despot. That’s my worry. There are people who look up to him: ‘I want to be like him.’ But they’ll do it much better and they’ll be more smart about it.
 * I mean, a mob boss calls people ‘a rat’. That means you lied and somebody snitched on you, so you did commit the crime. So that’s interesting, and he makes mobsters look bad because there are mobsters who will shake your hand and keep their word. He can’t even do that.
 * Trump is basic. He’s just a guy who just thinks he can rattle off his mouth and say anything. Well, I want to say the same thing to him: there are people who are going to say the same thing back to you, no matter who you are.
 * Rupert Murdoch became a citizen of this country; look what he’s contributed by this. This is what he’s going to leave. This is his legacy. It’s disgraceful. He’s cynical, amoral, but he has a responsibility. He came here as an immigrant, technically, and look what he did. You cannot justify having Fox News as a mouthpiece for the government. It’s wrong. It’s beyond disgusting.
 * You need somebody who’s strong enough to outmouth him – because that’s all he is, mouth – and smart enough and well-informed enough in a debate, say, to override all that nonsense that he does, be-cause basically it’s just name-calling. He has no substance. I don’t know how people fall for it. He’s just a big blowhard. But it ain’t over till it’s over as far as I’m concerned with a guy like him because he’s a dirty player.

Robert De Niro on Donald Trump: 'I can't wait to see him in jail'

 * Andrew Pulver, “Robert De Niro on Donald Trump: 'I can't wait to see him in jail'”, The Guardian, (October 11, 2019)

 * We have a real, immediate problem in that we have a gangster president who thinks he can do any-thing he wants … the problem is, if he actually gets away with it, then we all have a problem. The gall of the people around him who actually defend him, these Republicans, is appalling, and we must do something about it.
 * It’s a resentment of people [who are] writing about what we see is obvious gangsterism. They don’t like that, so they say: ‘Fuck you, we’re going to teach you people.’ And they have to know they’re going to be taught … they can’t get away with bullying us – people who have common sense and see what is happening in this world, and in this country. They cannot do it. It’s a shame, it’s a shame that [the Republicans] behave so badly.”
 * Oh, I can’t wait to see him in jail. I don’t want him to die, I want him to go to jail.

Robert De Niro Believes Trump Will Start a War So He Can Serve Three Terms as President

 * Marlow Stern, “Robert De Niro Believes Trump Will Start a War So He Can Serve Three Terms as President”, The Daily Beast, (Nov. 20, 2019)

 * I’m worried because if he gets re-elected, it’s gonna be very, very bad—very bad on a lot of levels. We already have a lot of reparations, if you will—repairs—to do to the damage that he’s already done, and he has to be gotten out. He’s going to be history at one point, though he’d love to be president for life. He jokes about it. I think that if he became president for a second term he’d try to have a third term, and let smarter people manipulate it into getting us into some kind of altercation: a war.
 * The only other president who served a third term was Roosevelt because he was in a war, and this fool would go and start something. This was what Marty Scorsese was saying, and I said, ‘Marty, I never thought of that. I never thought he’d go for a third term if there was a war or something. Trump joked about being ‘president for life’ with [Chinese president Xi Jinping] and so-on, he’ll pardon anybody, he’ll do anything. The day after he was elected, I went on a TV show and said I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and say that I hope he won’t be as bad as I think he will be, but he’s turned out to be a lot worse.
 * I’m not really political but I saw when [Trump] would go to those rallies and he’d say, ‘I want to get this person and punch him in the face,’ and I’d think, how dare this person have this kind of a rally? How dare you do that! And I think about [Rupert] Murdoch, and what he did to this country. He’s an immigrant who became a citizen, and look what he contributed? Look what this guy did? It’s disgraceful—beyond disgraceful, beyond cynical. Fox News, it’s all about money and power. At what cost? And you’re not even an American. You’re someone who wanted to be an American, and this is what you gave us?
 * I’m just so incensed by this guy. He’s conning people every day. It’s a blight on our country. We have a lot of making-up to do to earn back people’s trust, and to get back on track where certain allies will trust us enough to know that we won’t allow an idiot to get in office again.

title: Robert De Niro


text:
Slackers (film)

Slackers is a 2002 film about a nerdy college student who blackmails a group of young men with his knowledge that they have cheated throughout college, and uses it to get closer to a young woman he is obsessed with.
 * Directed by Dewey Nicks. Written by David H. Steinberg.

Higher Education Just Hit A New Low.

Ethan Dulles

 * You're smart. I like you. I'll probably give you a nickname.

 * I had a nickname for you! And now I'm not gonna tell you. Okay......... It was Laser.

 * No one calls me a retard, you FREAKIN' HOBO!!!!

 * You're going down!

 * You are so awesome, your room is so awesome, your phone is kick-ass, and you know what? I love you.

Sam Schecter

 * You know what, boys? Why don't you just let me take care of it. You treat a hot girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud.

Jeff Davis

 * We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay.

Dialogue

 * Dave: I brought you coffee.
 * Ethan: I don't touch that stuff.
 * Dave: Can I come in?
 * Ethan: No. No one comes into Ethan's room. Ethan's rules.
 * Dave: What's that smell?
 * Ethan: Maybe it's the smell of your ass getting kicked out of school.

 * Jeff: Yoo-hoo, it's Steve Pasternack, looking for Angela! Angela, please!
 * Reanna: Do I fucking know you?
 * Jeff: Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world "famous" notes. So I was wondering if I could... are you busy with something?
 * Reanna: Yeah. I was masturbating.
 * Jeff: Heh. Hoo! Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, that's what you get when you go to art school.

 * 'Mr. Leonard: Good afternoon, Mr. Dulles.
 * Dave: Call me Jack.
 * Mr. Leonard: But is says here your first name is Ethan?
 * Dave: Nah, just call me Jack.
 * Mr. Leonard: All right, Jack. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
 * Dave: Hmmm, I'd have to say... slave to the freaky ass booty.
 * Mr. Leonard: That's more than one word.

 * Ethan: Angela? Weird!
 * Angela: Ethan? What are you doing here?
 * Ethan: Well, I'm in the food service industry, and I like bums, so it's kinda my duty.

 * Angela: Is this a hair doll?
 * Ethan: I didn't make that. It fell out of your hair that way and I want it back.
 * Angela: It fell out this way? I don't think so.

 * Reanna: Remember what I always say, show the boobs and work the ass.
 * Angela: I have no boobs.
 * Reanna: You're right, well just work the ass.

 * Ethan: He's in my seat.
 * Head T.A. Philip: Yeah... and we're grown-ups. We don't argue over seats. Now go sit over there. There are plenty of empty seats there.

 * Angela: I'm really happy that we got this cleared up because the guy that I like is your friend Dave.
 * Ethan: Dave?
 * Angela: Yeah!
 * Ethan: Fudge!

 * Angela: You are a child and you are manipulative and even worse... you're a whore.
 * Dave: I am not a whore.
 * Dave: [talking to himself] A whore? How am I a whore? FUCK! How am I a whore?
 * Dave: [talking to himself] A whore? How am I a whore? FUCK! How am I a whore?

 * Dave: It was my fate to meet her.
 * Jeff: But it wasn't your fate to be with her. Unfortunately, my friend, fate has a different plan for you. You will grow up, go out into the world. You'll forget all about the things that happened here. Ethan, Angela... the shit we pulled. Those hookers that we thought were girls. And you're going to go out there and no-one - no-one can shoot you down because a woman one time stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake. That is your fate, Dave. Just as it is my fate to some day become shogun.

Cast

 * Jason Schwartzman - "Cool" Ethan Dulles
 * Devon Sawa - Dave Goodman
 * Jason Segel - Sam Schecter
 * Michael Maronna - Jeff Davis
 * Jaime King - Angela Patton
 * Laura Prepon - Reanna Cass
 * Jim Rash - Head T.A. Philip
 * Retta - Bruna Jackson
 * Leigh Taylor-Young - Valerie Patton, Angela's Mom
 * Sam Anderson - Charles Patton, Angela's Dad
 * Joe Flaherty - Mr.DON Leonard
 * Mamie Van Doren - Mrs. Helen Von Graaf

title: Slackers (film)


text:
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is a 2004 film about Ronald Joseph Aaron "Ron" Burgundy, San Diego's top rated newsman in the male dominated broadcasting of the 1970s, and how his life is about to change when a new ambitious female employee arrives in his office.
 * Directed by Adam McKay. Written by Adam McKay and Will Ferrell.

They bring you the news—so you don't have to get it yourself. Taglines

Ron Burgundy

 * How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don't wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don't know her name. What is it? Lanolin. La - Lanolin? Like - like sheep's wool?
 * Mm, I love scotch. I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm.
 * The arsonist has oddly shaped feet.
 * Oh, come on. Audrey. I look like hell. I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well, if you were a man, I would punch you. I'd punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league.
 * [clears throat] The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.
 * Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy, and this is what's happening in your world tonight. A La Jolla man clings to life at a university hospital after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs in an abandoned pool.
 * For all of us here at News Center Four, I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego.
 * Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!
 * [upon seeing Veronica Corningstone for the first time] By the beard of Zeus!
 * [to Baxter] Yoo-hoo! [clears throat] Baxter! Papa's home. There he is. There's my little man. You're okay? O - Of course, I met a lady tonight. This one was different. I have to be honest. Quite different. What? I'm lonely? I'm not lonely! I - I'm beloved by everyone in San Diego. Wow. You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. [laughs] You're like a miniature Buddha covered in hair. Come again? You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please. Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole . . . wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? It's actually - I'm not even mad. That's amazing. [laughs again] I forgive you. What do you say we get you in your PJs and we hit the hay? Huh? Bedtime. Okay, come on. Let's go. Come on.
 * [to Brian Fantana] “We've been coming to the same party for 12 years now...and in no way is that depressing.”
 * I know that one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married on top of a mountain. And there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance 'til the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside, and you won't be invited!
 * It's so damn hot . . . milk was a bad choice!
 * By the hymen of Olivia Newton John!
 * Knights of Columbus that hurt!

Veronica Corningstone

 * [voiceover, after witnessing the sexism exhibited by the news team] Huh, here we go again. Every station, it's the same. Women ask me how I put up with it. Well, the truth is, I don't really have a choice. This is definitely a man's world. But while they're laughing and grab-assing, I'm chasing down leads and practicing my non-regional diction. Because the only way to win is to be the best. The very best.

Brian Fantana

 * People call me the Bri-man. I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself, and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes. My left one is James Westfall, and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang.
 * It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

Champion "Champ" Kind

 * Champ here. I'm all about havin' fun. You know, get a couple of cocktails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen. Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. Anyway, I've become kind of famous for my signature catchphrase, "Whammy!" As in, "Gene Tenace at the plate . . . and whammy!" Whammy!
 * I woke up this morning on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would not stop screaming!

Brick Tamland

 * I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite, and I'm rarely late. I like to eat ice cream, and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call "mentally retarded."
 * [from the outtakes] I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava.
 * [from the outtakes] I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. My stomach's itchy.
 * [from the outtakes] I pooped a hammer.
 * [from the outtakes] I pooped a tape recorder.
 * [from the outtakes] I pooped a Cornish game hen. Uh . . . [laughs] Nope.

Edward "Ed" Harken

 * [on the phone] Right, but I think my son is just going through a phase. I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults. We've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? O - Of course you haven't. How stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right, I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.
 * [to Veronica Corningstone] Apparently, my son was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You know how kids are!

Public News anchor

 * Not so fast, you ingrates! Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! No mercy!

Arturo Mendez

 * Como éstan, bitches! Spanish language news is here. Tonight's top story: the sewers run red with Burgundy's blood.
 * Policia!

Narrator

 * [voiceover] There was a time, a time before cable, when the local anchorman reigned supreme, when people believed everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man than the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine, they made Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls.
 * [voiceover] When the clock struck six, it meant one thing for Ron Burgundy and his news team: go time.

Dialogue

 * Ed: Listen up. The ratings just came in for last month. We are number one. We just grabbed every key demographic.
 * [Everyone cheers.]
 * Brian: Yeah! Yeah!
 * Ron: Super duper, gang! Super duper! That's nice! Way to go! Neat-o, gang.
 * Brick: Yes!
 * Ron: Boy, Ed, that is good news. I gotta be honest.
 * [Ron and Ed shake hands and hug.]
 * Ed: Congrats, congrats.
 * Ron: That is good news!
 * Brian: All right!
 * [Garth lights Ed's cigar.]
 * Ed: [to Garth] Stick around. Make sure these guys don't party too much.
 * Garth: Uh, they don't ever really listen to me, Ed.
 * Ed: Just get it done.
 * Garth: Okay.

 * Ron: Hello.
 * Veronica: Hello.
 * Ron: Hope I'm not disturbing you, but, uh, I saw you from across the party, and, uh, I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breathtaking heinie. I mean, that thing is good. I wanna be with friends with it.
 * Veronica: Well, you certainly know how to compliment a woman. Now, if you'll excuse me.
 * [She starts to leave.]
 * Ron: Do you know who I am?
 * Veronica: No, I - I can't say that I do.
 * Ron: I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal.
 * Veronica: Really?
 * Ron: People know me.
 * Veronica: Well, I'm very happy for you.
 * Ron: I'm very important. Uh, I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. I - I - I'm friends with Merlin Olsen, too. He's - comes over on occasion.
 * [He laughs.]
 * Ron: That's stupid.
 * Veronica: No, no, that's . . . very exciting.
 * Ron: Listen, can - can I start over again?
 * Veronica: Sure.
 * Ron: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. And if you like, you can take it. If you don't, send it right back. I wanna be on you.
 * [Veronica leaves.]
 * Ron: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I . . . I wanna be on you.

 * Brian: Oh, that was one crazy party. I am hung over!
 * Champ: Tell me about it. I woke up this morning, and I shit a squirrel. I mean it. Literally. Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. So, I got this shit-covered squirrel down there in the office. Don't know what to name it.
 * Brick: Aw, I'm sorry, Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
 * [Garth and Ed enter the conference room.]
 * Garth: All right, guys. Let's focus up.
 * Ed: Morning, everyone. Here are the stories we're gonna be chasing today. It looks like Ling Wong, the rare panda at the San Diego Zoo, is pregnant.
 * Garth: This is a big one.
 * Ed: Now, this could be the big story of the summer. Network is gonna be wanting plenty of coverage. And speaking of network, word on the street is they're looking for a new anchor. So, Ron -
 * [Ron wakes up.]
 * Ron: Huh? Network? Are they here?
 * Ed: In addition, a lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
 * Champ: What in the hell's diversity?
 * [Ron clears his throat.]
 * Ron: Well, I - I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, Diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
 * [Ron and Brick nod.]
 * Someone in the conference room: That's right.
 * Ed: Ron, I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship, but nice try. Uh, diversity means that times are changing, and with that in mind - Ron, are you paying attention?
 * Ron: Nope.
 * Ed: Well, this concerns all of us.
 * Ron: Okay.

 * Brian: I mean, come on, Ed, it's bullcrap! D - Don't get me wrong, I loves the ladies. I mean, they rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
 * Champ: It is anchorman, not anchorlady! And that is a scientific fact!
 * Brian: Uh-huh.
 * Brick: I don't know what we're yelling about!
 * Brian: You're with us, Ron. What do you think?
 * Ron: Shit! Sh-- it's terrible! She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!
 * Brian: Mm-hmm.
 * Brick: Loud noises!
 * Ed: All right, everyone relax. She's not gonna take anyone's airtime, okay?
 * Brick: I heard somewhere that their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation.
 * Brian: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now, you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.
 * Champ: I will say one thing for her, Ed. She does have a nice, big old behind.
 * [He laughs.]
 * Champ: I'd like to put some barbecue sauce on that butt and just bite, bite, bite, bite, munch, munch, munch! Ah-woo!
 * [Ed and Brian are cracking up.]
 * Ed: Stop it! Oh, Jesus.
 * [Champ continues barking and does not see Veronica enter the room. Ed and Brian stop laughing upon realizing that she is there.]
 * Champ: Oh, oh, oh, look at the full-moon butt! Look at it!
 * [He continues barking.]
 * Brian: Champ! Champ! Champ, Champ!
 * [Brian motions to Champ to be quiet, and Champ turns and sees Veronica and becomes silent.]
 * Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Harkin, I was just wondering if you knew when my office would be ready.
 * Edward "Ed" Harkin: Well, that might take some time. For now, why don't you just grab a desk in the bullpen?
 * Ron: You can use my office! Then, afterwards, maybe we can go to lunch!
 * Ed: Lower your voice, Ron.
 * Ron: Mm-hm!
 * Veronica: All right. Well, thank you, Mr. Harkin. I'll go get my desk set up.
 * [Veronica leaves Ed's office, and Champ and Brian crack up again.]
 * Champion "Champ" Kind: Oh, she is a saucy mama!

 * Champ: What's this?
 * Wes: Well, well, well. Ron Burgundy and the Channel Four News team.
 * Ron: Hello, Wes Mantooth. Hello, Evening News team.
 * Wes: Hey, nice clothes, gentlemen. I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale.
 * [Wes and his news team laugh, and Wes flicks his cigarette at Ron.]
 * Wes: Am I right? Am I right? Look at these guys!
 * [They continue laughing.]
 * Brick: Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store?
 * We: What are you doing on our station's turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beat down.
 * Champ: I will smash your face into a car windshield and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!
 * [Wes's colleagues are forced to restrain an enraged Wes while Brick restrains Champ. Ron puts himself between Champ and Wes]
 * Wes: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
 * Ron: Hey, leave the mothers out of this. All right?
 * [Ron adjusts Champ's collar while Brian makes fighting motions at the Evening News team.]
 * Ron: It's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset about finishing second in the ratings again.
 * [Brian winces.]
 * Brian: Ooh!
 * [He laughs.]
 * Wes: That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. You know those rating systems are flawed. They don't take in account houses that have, uh, more than two television sets and other - other things of that nature.
 * Ron: I guess I have to take you at your word, number two.
 * [Ron, Brian, Champ, and Brick laugh at this, and Brian holds up a number two sign on his hand.]
 * Ron: You have a great day, fellas. We'll see you around the bend.
 * [They walk off while Wes hits his news team's van.]
 * Wes: Son of a bitch!
 * Brian: Excusez-moi, numéro two.
 * Wes: Hey, Burgundy. You know those sample audiences aren't big enough! Stop hiding behind those phony numbers, Burgundy! I'm coming after you! I hate you, Ron Burgundy. I hate you! [to his news team] Can't say - can't say one word? Even the guy who can't think says something! You just stand there? Come on!

 * [Champ walks up to Veronica Corningstone's desk.]
 * Champ: Let me just grab this.
 * [He pretends to grab a pencil but tries grabbing her breast instead.]
 * Champ: Oh, sorry about that. Whammy.
 * [He starts walking away.]
 * Veronica: Hmm. Uh, Champ?
 * Champ: Yeah?
 * Veronica: You're trying to touch my breast, aren't you?
 * Champ: What can I say? I like the way you're put together. What do you say we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex. You know, see what happens?
 * Veronica: Oh, let me get this over here.
 * [She punches Champ in the groin, causing him to groan in pain.]
 * Veronica: Oh, sorry.
 * [She grabs a tape dispenser.]
 * Veronica: There it is.

 * Ron: Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel Four News exclusive. Brian?
 * Brian: Panda Watch! The mood is tense. I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I, uh, Ching King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said "No, you can't do that, he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off." [to the Panda] Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out here, panda jerk!
 * Ron: Great story. Compelling and rich. Well, that's going to do it for all of us here at Channel Four News. You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?
 * Ed: Damn it! Who typed a question mark on the teleprompter? For the last time, anything you put on that prompter, Burgundy will read!

 * Brian: Well, I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance.
 * [Brian and Ron.]
 * Brian: Time to musk up.
 * [He opens the door to reveal different types of colognes.]
 * Ron: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me.
 * [He laughs.]
 * Ron: What cologne are you gonna go with? London Gentleman or . . . wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight?
 * Brian: No. She gets a special cologne. It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
 * Ron: It's quite pungent.
 * Brian: Oh yeah.
 * Ron: It's a formidable scent.
 * [He cringes while Brian daubs the cologne on his neck.]
 * Ron: It stings the nostrils.
 * [He laughs.]
 * Ron: In a good way.
 * Brian: Yeah.
 * Ron: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline.
 * Brian: They've done studies, you know? 60% of the time, it works every time.
 * Ron: That doesn't make any sense.
 * Brian: Well, let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
 * [Brian growls, leaves the office, and approaches Veronica.]
 * Brian: Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way.
 * Veronica: My God. What is that smell? Oh!
 * Brian: That's the smell of desire, my lady.
 * Veronica: God no, it smells like - like a used diaper filled with Indian food. Oh! Excuse me.
 * Brian: You know, desire smells like that to some people.
 * [Other people start reacting to the cologne.]
 * News station employee: What is that? It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
 * [Another woman passes by Brian and reacts in disgust.]
 * Woman: It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
 * [Almost all of the employees flee the office to avoid the smell, and a woman starts screaming. Brian looks at his watch.]
 * Brian: Oh.
 * [The smell is so strong that it sets off the fire alarm. Brian tries acting casual and walks away.]
 * Brian: Oh, what's that smell, huh?
 * [The scene cuts to Brian being jet-hosed in the parking lot.]
 * Hoser: This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier!

 * [Brick makes a fake cough.]
 * Brick: Cough. Look over here. Excuse me, Veronica.
 * Veronica: Yes, what is it, Brick?
 * Brick: I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the Pants Party.
 * Veronica: Excuse me?
 * Brick: The party, the pants, party with the pants?
 * Veronica: Brick, are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
 * Brick: That's it.
 * Veronica: Mm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
 * Brick: No, yes, he did.
 * Veronica: Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
 * Brick: Very well.
 * [He turns to Ian.]
 * Brick: Ian! Would you like to go to a party in my pants?
 * Ian: No, Brick.
 * Brick: All right. Let's go!

 * Champ: [on Veronica Corningstone] I'm telling you, she is a real ball-buster.
 * [Brian laughs.]
 * Brian: A real ice queen.
 * [Brick drinks some coffee.]
 * Brick: Mm. I just burned my tongue.
 * Ron: The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show.
 * [He holds up his arms and kisses each one.]
 * Ron: Let's see if she likes the goods.

 * [Ron is lifting weights.]
 * Ron: 1,001, 1,002, 1,003.
 * Veronica: Uh, Mr. Burgundy? Helen said that you needed to see me.
 * Ron: Oh, Miss Corningstone. I wasn't expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday's arms and back.
 * Veronica: Well, you asked me to come by, sir.
 * Ron: Oh, did I?
 * Veronica: Yes.
 * Ron: Oh-h, it's the deep burn! Oh, it's so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.

 * Ron: Mmm. San Diego. Drink it in. It always goes down smooth. Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means "a whale's vagina".
 * Veronica: No, there's no way that's correct.
 * Ron: I'm sorry. I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest. I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
 * Veronica: Doesn't it mean "Saint Diego"?
 * Ron: No. No.
 * Veronica: No, that's--that's what it means. Really.
 * Ron: Well. Agree to disagree.

 * Ron: I friggin' love you!
 * Veronica: I friggin' love you back!

 * Ron: Look, the most glorious rainbow ever!
 * Veronica: Oh, do me on it!

 * Ron: Veronica Corningstone and I had sex, and we are now in love! Did I say that loud?
 * Brian: Yeah, you pretty much yelled it.
 * Ron: Well, I don't care. It's fantastic!
 * Champ: What's it like, Ron?
 * Ron: The intimate times? Outta sight, my man!
 * Brian: No, the other thing. Love.
 * Brick: Yeah. What is that?

 * Brian: I think I was in love once.
 * Ron: Really? What was her name?
 * Brian: I don't remember.
 * Ron: That's not a good start, but keep going.
 * Brian: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart, and we made out for hours. Then, we parted ways, never to see each other again.
 * Ron: Brian, I'm pretty sure that's not love.
 * Brian: Damn it!
 * Brick: I love carpet.
 * [Ron nods understandingly.]
 * Brick: I love desk.
 * Ron: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
 * Brick: I love lamp.
 * Ron: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying that because you saw it?
 * Brick: I- I love lamp! I love lamp.

 * Ron: You really want to know what love is?
 * [Champ nods his head.]
 * Champ: Yeah.
 * Brian: Yes! Tell us!
 * Brick: More than anything in the world, Ron!
 * Ron: Well, it's really quite simple. It's kinda like...
 * [He starts singing "Afternoon Delight".]
 * Ron: "Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight. My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right', why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?"
 * [Champ, Brian, and Brick join in.]
 * Everyone: "When everything's a little clearer in the light of day. And, we know the night is always gonna be here anyway!"
 * Brick and Brian: "Thinking of you's workin' up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite, and the thought of loving you is getting so exciting, sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight."
 * [Ron stops singing.]
 * Ron: You guys have it.
 * [Everyone sings.]
 * Everyone: "Afternoon delight!"
 * [Champ, Brian, and Brick stop singing.]
 * Champ: I dunno, Ron. That sounds kinda crazy.
 * Brian: Sounds like you have mental problems, man.
 * Brick: Yeah, you got mental problems, man.
 * Brian: Yeah, it really does.
 * Brick: Man.
 * [Everyone sings.]
 * Everyone: "Afternoon delight!"

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Champ: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News team.
 * Ron: That's a given. That's a given.
 * Champ: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. [He laughs brokenly.] I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
 * Brian: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?
 * Ron: Yeah, sit the next couple plays out, if you know what I mean.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Ron Burgundy: Last time I checked, my name was Ron Burgundy! What's yours?
 * Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana!
 * Champ Kind: Champ Kind!
 * Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana...
 * Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick...

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Motorcyclist: What do you love?
 * Ron: I love poetry and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here.
 * Motorcyclist: Well, now, guess what, this is happening.
 * [He grabs Baxter.]
 * Ron: Excuse me, excuse me, what are you doing?
 * [The motorcyclist punts Baxter over bridge.]
 * Motorcyclist: That's how I roll!
 * Ron: Baxter! [gasps.] NOOOOOOOO!!!!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Brian: Where are you, Ron?
 * Ron: I'm in a glass case of emotion!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Ron: Wait, Veronica, please tell me this is some kind of sick tasteless joke.
 * Veronica: You weren't here! Why are you being this way? Why can't you just be proud of me as a peer and as my gentleman lover?
 * Ron: I can't believe you did this to me! You read my news!
 * Veronica: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.
 * Ron: I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke. I even wrote it down in my diary. "Veronica had a very funny joke today." I laughed at it later that night!
 * Veronica: I can't believe that I cared for you!
 * Ron: Get out! Just go! We are through! Through! Because of your actions, you scorpion woman!
 * Veronica: You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * [Veronica picks up the phone.]
 * Veronica: Veronica Corningstone.
 * Ron: Hello. This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy results here, and guess what? You, you got knocked up, so you should probably get out of news.
 * Veronica: Who is this?
 * Ron: This is Dr. Chim. Dr. Chim Richalds. Richalds.
 * Veronica: Is this you, Ron?
 * Ron: I'm a professional doctor. You saw me. You don't remember. You were drunk. You should - you should go, you should get out of news.
 * Veronica: This is pathetic.
 * Ron: You're pathetic.
 * [He hangs up.]
 * Champ: How'd it go?
 * Ron: I think she bought it.

<hr width="50%">
 * Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, I am a professional and I would like to be able to do my job.
 * Ron: Big deal. I am very professional.
 * Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby.
 * Ron: I'm not a baby, I'm a man! I am an anchorman!
 * Veronica: You are not a man. You are a big fat joke!
 * Ron: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn! That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of ours. It's science.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Frank Vitchard: Hey! If you're gonna have a fight, then don't forget Channel Two News, with me, lead anchor Frank Vitchard.
 * Ron: You dirt bags have been in third place for five years.
 * Frank Vitchard: Oh, yeah? Well, you're about to be in . . . dead place!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Ron: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?
 * Brick: I don't know.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Ron: [on the fight between local anchormen] Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
 * Champ: It jumped up a notch.
 * Ron: It did, didn't it?
 * Brick: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
 * Ron: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
 * Brick: Yeah, there were horses and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
 * Ron: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should probably find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder. I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel and that's what you're gonna do when you find yourself in a vicious cockfight.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Ron: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
 * Veronica: You look like a blueberry!
 * Ron: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
 * Veronica: Well, you have bad hair!
 * Ron: [shocked] What did you say?
 * Veronica: I said... your hair... looks stupid!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Veronica: For the entire Channel Four News team, I'm Veronica Corningstone.
 * Ron: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego!

 * <hr width="50%"/>
 * Garth: Coming out with stink like that poop, you poop-mouth! Get all that poop coming out of your mouth!
 * Ron: Garth, if I were to give you some money from out of my wallet, would that help ease the pain?
 * [He glances at Ed for approval.]
 * Garth: I hate you Ron Burgundy! I hate you!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * [A drunk Ron is singing in the bar.]
 * Ron: "Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon deliiiight... Af...
 * [He blows a raspberry.]
 * Ron: I make fart-noises with my mouth . ..
 * [He blows a raspberry again.]
 * Ron: . . . and I like it cause...
 * Bartender: Hey, nut job, quit the singing! You creeping out all the regulars.
 * Ron: I'm expressing my inner anguish THROUGH THE MAJESTY OF SONG!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Narrator: [voiceover] Yes, redemption was sweet for Ron Burgundy.
 * Champ: Yes! Ron!
 * Narrator: [voiceover] As for the news team . ..
 * Champ: Stop it! Ron!
 * Narrator: [voiceover] Champ Kind went on to become a commentator for the NFL but was later fired after being accused of sexual harassment by Terry Bradshaw.
 * Woman: [to Brian Fantana] Excuse me. Is that Sex Panther you're wearing?
 * [Brian howls happily.]
 * Narrator: [voiceover] Brian Fantana went on to have great success as the host of the hit reality TV show Intercourse Island on the Fox Network.
 * Brian: Anyone seen Brick? Brick?
 * [Brick is still in the bear pen and is cuddling with a bear.]
 * Brick: Don't! That tickles! No, that tickles me!
 * [Brick laughs.]
 * Brick: Come on!
 * Narrator: [voiceover] Brick Tamland is married with 11 children and is one of the top political advisors to the Bush White House.
 * Brick: I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!
 * [Ron and Veronica are still kissing.]
 * Baxter: [to Ron, about Veronica] Hey! Is she going to live with us? Because I am not cool with that.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Ron: Um, Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?
 * Brick: Um, no, no. Too many people died last year, so we're not gonna do it.

Cast

 * Will Ferrell - Ronald Joseph Aaron "Ron" Burgundy
 * Christina Applegate - Veronica Corningstone
 * Paul Rudd - Brian Fantana
 * Steve Carell - Brick Tamland
 * David Koechner - Champion "Champ" Kind
 * Vince Vaughn - Wes Mantooth
 * Fred Willard - Edward "Ed" Harkin
 * Chris Parnell - Garth Holliday
 * Peanut - Baxter
 * Danny Trejo - Bartender
 * Jack Black - Motorcyclist
 * Judd Apatow - News station employee
 * Paul F. Tompkins - Cat show competition host
 * Jay Johnston - Eyewitness News team member
 * Robin Antin - Spanish Language News team member
 * Fred Armisen - Tino
 * Adam McKay - Janitor
 * Tim Robbins - Public News anchor
 * Jimmy Bennett - Tommy
 * Luke Wilson - Frank Vitchard
 * Ben Stiller - Arturo Mendez
 * Seth Rogen - Cameraman
 * Kathryn Hahn - Helen
 * Missi Pyle - Zookeeper
 * Bill Kurtis - Narrator

Taglines

 * They bring you the news—so you don't have to get it yourself.
 * THEY BRING YOU THE NEWS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET IT YOURSELF
 * If Ron Burgundy says it, it's the truth!
 * His news is bigger than your news.

title: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy