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Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law is an American adult animated sitcom that aired on Adult Swim.

"Bannon Custody Battle"

 * Dr. Quest: Well, I've got a rather serious problem. You see my longtime partner is challenging me for custody of my boys.
 * Harvey: How long has she-
 * Dr. Quest: He
 * [Avenger and Harvey freeze, and their eyes widen.]
 * Dr. Benton Quest: He's my traveling companion. We go on adventures together in steamy jungles and the like.

 * Dr. Quest: Since I know he'll never do it himself, I'm gonna step right up and toot Mr. Birdman's horn.
 * [Harvey backs up, uncomfortable]
 * Dr. Quest: Way to go, Harvey.
 * [Bandit barks, and is picked up by a swooping Avenger]
 * Dr. Quest: You too Bandit.
 * [Everybody laughs. Dr. Quest pats Harvey's butt and he stops.]

"Very Personal Injury"

 * [Apache Chief walks into a Javalux, out of view of the audience]
 * Apache Chief: Coffee please
 * Javalux Employee: All right. That'll be $1.87.  [pause] Sorry, Chief.  No credit cards.  It seems some idiot ripped our telephone pole out of the ground.
 * Apache Chief: Oh, I... I think I have change.
 * [coffee spills]
 * Apache Chief: Ah! My lap!

 * Apache Chief: Well I saved the town the other day.. and anyway, I saved the town. And anyway, afterwards I thought, "Man, a.. a coffee would be nice." But I spilled it on my... lap
 * Harvey: Uh-huh.
 * Apache Chief: And, wow, it was hot... on my lap.
 * Harvey: I'll bet.
 * Apache Chief: Hotness. Crotch. Ouch.
 * Harvey: Yeah, I... ohhhh! Are you trying to say...?
 * Apache Chief: I... can no longer... enlarge.
 * Harvey: Ugh!
 * [crosses his legs and winces a few moments]
 * Harvey: Ugh! Let's all go to the mountains! Oh! [composes himself] I'll take the case!... Not even first thing in the morning? You know... little neeneeneeneeneey?

" Shaggy Busted"

 * [Music, laughter]
 * Shaggy: [to Scooby] Will you be cool?
 * Officer: Turn the music off, please.
 * Shaggy: Sure thing officer.
 * Officer: Where you headed tonight?
 * Shaggy: Like there’s this green monster, officer, sneaking around at the old cotton mill, we’re headed out there to meet the gang and, like, try to catch it. [Laughs]
 * Officer: A green monster?
 * Shaggy: [Laughs] Yeah! A real fattie man.
 * Officer: Uh, you were driving a little erratic back there.
 * Scooby: [Shaggy laughing] reah, rokay.
 * Officer: Just step out of the van please.
 * Shaggy: Punch it! [starts driving away, officer starts shooting]

 * [A candidate for the clerk position enters Harvey's office]
 * Harvey: Take a seat.
 * Peanut: Is that your bird? Can I touch it?  [whispering] Does it bite?
 * Harvey: How 'bout we start with your name?
 * Peanut: Peanut.
 * Harvey: Uh-huh. So your last job was at, um, I don't see anything listed.
 * Peanut: Um, I used to work at a baltimization plant.
 * Harvey: Baltimization?
 * Peanut: Oh, yeah. You see, the Japanese claim it increases sexual potency tenfold.  They call it "paw-paw-paw-zaaaaah".
 * Harvey: Really?
 * Peanut: Mmm. You know.
 * Harvey: Mm.. Mhmmm... [writes it down] Well, you quit that job?
 * Peanut: Actually, I believe I was fired from that job.
 * Harvey: Oh?
 * Peanut: Well, there was the murder of a supervisor. Nothing proven.  I just thought it was better to move on.

"Death By Chocolate"

 * Harvey: So Myron, there's one thing I can't figure out. You prosecuting for the government?
 * Reducto: That's right, Birdman, yell it nice and loud.
 * Harvey: What?
 * Reducto: I'm not prosecuting.
 * Harvey: Oh my God, am I supposed to be prosecuting?
 * Reducto: Not for the government at least. Look, that man over there.
 * Harvey: Hm. The jukebox?
 * Reducto: No! [pulls out a complicated schematic] There is no government, just a few multi-national corporations that run everything.
 * [The words "An AOL/Time Warner Co." appear on the bar's sign.]
 * Harvey: Myron, Myron!
 * Reducto: The bear's a threat to the new world order, Birdman. Soon there will be one worldwide currency-
 * [The bartender walks over]
 * Reducto: [Falling out of his chair] AHH!!!  I'll make you fun-size!
 * Harvey: One currency? [laughs]
 * Bartender: Your tab.
 * Harvey: Right. [counting money]  One euro.  Two euro.

 * Harvey: Mr. Boo Boo, would you consider yourself a revolutionary?
 * Boo Boo: Well, no. But I do believe corporations rob us of our dignity and independence, and that these systems must be ripped down, burnt down, or leveled by any force necessary... but that's just one little bear's opinion.
 * Harvey: A cute, fuzzy little bear. [smiles at jury] The defense rests.

"Shoyu Weenie"

 * Phil: Now close your eyes and fall back. I’m right behind you.
 * Harvey: When I was in junior high school, we did a trust fall at a ropes course and dropped the first girl
 * Phil: That's it. Let me cradle you.
 * Harvey: She landed flat on her back
 * Phil: Did you ever know that you're my hero?
 * Harvey: And then everyone started laughing because she was fat.
 * Phil: Fall you bastard!

 * Harvey: So, you are a musical group correct?
 * Neptunes: Sure!
 * Jabberjaw: ... Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
 * Mentok: Oh for God's sakes...you, the shark. No more from you today, okay?
 * Harvey: Who writes your music?
 * Neptunes member: Someone with something yummy in his tummy?
 * Mentok: [to stenographer] Those guys over there, they're gonna lose this one. Pretty sure of it. No, I know it.
 * Harvey: And before you answer this next question, let me remind you that you swore [pulls out a giant Bible] ON A BIBLE to tell the truth here today. [throws it away] So, tell us [points above] AND GOD, where the song 'Lovely Lovely' came from? HE'D like to know.
 * Neptunes member: Uh, we don't know.
 * Harvey: Nothing further.

"The Dabba Don"

 * Phil Ken Sebben: Do you know what this means to the firm?! The billable hours?! I can finally build that lake house, and I'll run around naked all day. Ha ha... dangly parts.

 * Harvey Birdman: Who are you?
 * Fred Flintstone: I told ya I'm Frond Fernstone, Botanist and....
 * [Peanut hits Fred with a large mallet]
 * Harvey Birdman: Who are you?
 * Fred Flintstone: Bird Flintmock, rodeo rider....
 * [Peanut hits Fred with a large mallet]
 * Fred Flintstone: I'm Anne Heche.
 * [Peanut hits Fred with twice a large mallet]
 * Fred Flintstone: Wilma, Honey what's going on?
 * Pebbles: Dada! Dada!

"Deadomutt, Part 1"

 * Falcón: Gracias.
 * Phil: Ha ha... sissy European lisp thingy.

 * Phil: [Looking at Falcón]: I think I can safely say that Blue brings something to the firm we didn't have before. [Looks at Harvey Birdman].  Not this.  This is something here before NOT we have.

"Deadomutt, Part 2"

 * Harvey: Step off, Holmes!
 * Peanut: Oh, I was trying, just trying to talk about your tattoo.
 * Harvey: You wouldn't last two minutes in my world!

 * Harvey: 12 Jurors. 1 Judge. 1/2 a chance

"X, the Eliminator"

 * Phil: I need your...uh, help.
 * Harvey: Really.
 * Phil: On my way to work I hit a guy...
 * Harvey: Oh, that doesn't seem so bad.
 * Phil: ...every day this week.
 * Harvey: Oh... any witnesses?
 * Phil:: Some kids.
 * Harvey: Nobody believes kids!
 * Phil: And a nun.
 * Harvey: Nobody believes nuns!
 * Phil: Someone's suing Phil Ken Sebben, dammit!
 * Harvey: I'll take the case.
 * Phil: And if we lose it's you and me, Birdman, against the world.
 * Harvey: YES!
 * Phil: Two heavily armed men in a bunker fighting extradition.
 * Harvey: Oh.

 * X, The Eliminator: Yes, it is I; X, the Eliminator, and only I can rid you of this scourge; Birdman.
 * FEAR Member 1: What is your price?
 * X, The Eliminator: One million dollars
 * FEAR Member: It is agreed; we will give you the money, and in exchange you will bring us the crest of Birdman
 * X, The Eliminator: ....thats it? for that amount of money I thought I'd have to.. well, y'know; kill him.
 * FEAR Member 1: Oh, God no.
 * FEAR Member 2: What are you? Crazy?

"Blackwatch Plaid"

 * Phil: Everyone get in here! [everyone is instantly in Phil's office] Who can tell me what's different about my office?
 * Peanut: You hid the interns?
 * Phil: Everything's gone! I leave last night with everything right where it's supposed to be, [scene wipes to a flashback of the office looking exactly the same as it does now] then I come back this morning and everything's missing.  The baby grand piano that was right there... gone!
 * Harvey: [thinking] There was never a piano there.
 * Phil: Yes there was, Birdman! You can still see the dimples in the carpet where it stood... next to the 14-foot-high golden Buddha.
 * Harvey: [thinking] There was never a 14-foot-high golden--
 * Phil: Keep your thoughts to yourself, Birdman! Don't you understand?  I'm a victim! God, I feel so unclean!  Tell you what... I'm going to cover my eye and whoever stole the items in question can just put them back and I won't ask any questions. [covers his eye patch] OK, I'm not looking!  Can't see a thing!  Nine-alligator, ten-alligator, ready or not, here I come!  Ha ha ha... I wish! Well the Buddha is back, BUT THE BABY GRAND IS STILL MISSING! So, while I consider myself to be a benevolent...-ish dictator, I have no choice but to introduce a battery of oppressive security measures. Frisking! Cavity searches! This easy-to-understand color-coded crime alert system! And for everyone's safety and security, and to preserve our way of life, I'm taking a drastic step and putting up a security camera. Just one... for safety, security, and omniscient, unblinking information gathering of everyone's activities.

 * Reducto: Every conversation is scanned for key words. Here, give me your phone, I'll show you.
 * Harvey: Umm...
 * Reducto: Hello. Mail bomb.
 * Harvey: Uh, heh... um...
 * Reducto: Assassination.
 * Harvey: Hey, can I have that back? I just remembered...
 * Reducto: Fertilizer.
 * Harvey: ...I'm almost out of minutes.
 * Reducto: Same-sex marriages. Patagonia. Nader for President.
 * Harvey: See, nothing happened. Nobody's monitoring these things!
 * Phil: [overlooking them] Huh, I always took Reducto for a libertarian.

"Trio's Company"

 * Inch-High, Private Eye: [has just been enlarged to a normal-sized human being] Be right back!
 * ''[Cut to Inch-High in line at an amusement park with a sign reading, "you must be this tall to ride"]
 * Inch-High, Private Eye: Again.
 * Amusement park worker: Please step onto the ride, sir.
 * Inch-High, Private Eye: I'm sorry, what?
 * Amusement park worker: Get on the ride, sir.
 * Inch-High, Private Eye: Again.
 * Inch-High, Private Eye: [Back in the courthouse with a giant stuffed bunny] As I was saying...

 * Gigi: [emerging from under Phil's desk] I found it!
 * Phil: You sure did!
 * Harvey: Ha, aha...
 * Phil: Multiple entendre.
 * Gigi: Gotta run. Oh... [kisses Harvey on wing] See you at home, hun!
 * Harvey: Do you mind telling me what she was looking for?
 * Phil: Your desk lamp. Here.
 * Potamus: [emerging from under Phil's desk] Is he gone?

"The Devlin Made Me Do It"

 * Devlin: Ever hear of "imitatable acts"?
 * Harvey: Oh, great movie! Eszterhas.

 * Harvey: [after failing to get an injured boy to physically react to certain things] You said you saw him scratch his nose!
 * Peanut: Yes! When they were prying him off his little wheelchair, he was all [whines and swats the air like a sissy]

"High Speed Buggy Chase"

 * Harvey: So sorry we couldn't help you, but again, making your will after you're dead is pretty much frowned-upon. It's a legal thing.
 * Funky Phantom: That's not what the Founding Fathers intended. I know, I was there!  You lawyers are screwing up this whole country!
 * Harvey: [laughs] We're trying.
 * Funky Phantom: And how do ya think they'd react to pornography? Or naked pictures even?
 * Peanut: Well, I'm guessin' George Washington would've had more wood than just his teeth.

 * Phil: [regarding Avenger's replacement: a finch] What do you mean, he's not a good typist?
 * Harvey: Well, for one, he's too light, he can't push the keys down.
 * Phil:You know what he needs? A mate. Finches are sad without mates; they won't type without them.
 * Harvey: Plus, I don't think he understands English.
 * Phil: Maybe I got a European Goldfinch by mistake. Crap!
 * Harvey: [now has a white stain on his shoulder]
 * Phil: Nope! I think he understands plenty!

"SPF"

 * Debbie (over intercom): A, ah, [clears throat] Mr. Ding-a-ling here to see you.
 * [Harvey, Peanut, and Avenger laugh.]
 * Harvey: [Greeting Ding-a-ling] Mr. Ding-a-ling!
 * Mightor: [On a golf course, waving a club] Ha-ha-ha, deedle-deedle-dee.
 * Ding-a-ling: Gee whizzes, Mr. Birdman, something awful's happened. I went to register my name, because I wanna do a web site for all my fans...
 * [Harvey, Peanut, and Avenger laugh again.]
 * Ding-a-ling: ...and this is what came up. It's pictures, dirty pictures!
 * Peanut: You think you got it bad? You should see what Tweetypie-dot-org looks like. Hee hee, yeah, "I tawt I taw a puddy... tat."

 * Peanut: Bling-bling. Who's there? Oh, it's Peanut's money!
 * Harvey: It didn't last as long this time.
 * Peanut: Yeah, Harvey. We're gonna have to move you up to the good stuff...the French Stuff.
 * Harvey: Gimme the French Stuff.
 * Peanut: Oh, you gotta pay more for the stuff en francais, playa!
 * Harvey: OK OK OK! How much?
 * Peanut: You know Harv, I've always admired the view from your apartment.
 * Harvey: [tosses Peanut his apartment keys] Enjoy!
 * Peanut: And lunch money.
 * Harvey: But I'm out of money! Avenger wanted a cheeseburger, and....
 * Peanut: You know, I know this 39-year-old bodybuilder. Still amateur. He's got a powerful taste for the French Stuff. I could give him a call.
 * Harvey: Money. Money. I'll get the money!
 * [Harvey is now posing as a prostitute in drag. A "potential client" pulls up. After seeing Harvey, the man drives off]
 * Harvey: Keep driving, slick! Keep driving!
 * [The man takes Magilla Gorilla, also a prostitute in drag]

"Back to the Present"

 * Jane: Hard day at the button, dear?.
 * George: Oh, it was brutal...brutal! I had to push the button on and off five times. That Spacely's a slavedriver.

 * Priest:[in the year 4063 A.P., everyone is worshiping potamus] I got that THING, he sent me!

"Grape Juiced"

 * Harvey: Pleased to meet your Mr. ...
 * [Laff-a-Lympics committee member grabs Harvey's stapler, putting it in his pocket]
 * Harvey: My stapler seems to have fallen into your...
 * Phil: Ixnay on the aplerstay, okay... ay? This is the big time, Laff-a-Lympics, Birdman.

 * Doctor: [With tranquilizer dart in his neck.] It says here that the father of Gigi's baby is... GRAPE APE!!!
 * Peanut: Hey, don't you need a blood test to [Gets a tranquilizer dart in his neck.]
 * [Harvey and M!!!Butu sit down; M!!!Butu has a blow dart gun.]
 * Harvey: Thank you.
 * Doctor: It also says that the team who won the finals is...IT'S DALLAS!!!
 * [Phil with two monk like men.]
 * Phil: CANNIBALS!!

"Peanut Puberty"

 * Phil: I'd like to welcome you all to the bi-annual... Ha ha ha! Bi! Sebben & Sebben Board of Director's meeting.

 *

 * Phil: [opens the door for Doggy Daddy]
 * Doggy Daddy: Just tell me what you want me to do.
 * Phil: [stands there silently]
 * Doggy Daddy: [tries to go through the door, and Phil slams it on his muzzle.]

"Gone Efficien...t"

 * Phil: Birdman, this is Dvd, our new efficiency expert.
 * Harvey: Interesting name. Norweg...?
 * Dvd: Was "David". I eliminated the vowels to save time.
 * Phil: Brllnt!

 * [Klaxons sound as Harvey tries to obtain more bathroom tissue]
 * Phil: [over the PA] Attention employee! Attention employee! It is against Sebben & Sebben regulations to tamper with or disable toilet paper dispensers in the lavatories! You are allotted one sheet of tissue per visit.
 * Harvey: One sheet?!
 * Phil: Repeat: One sheet per visit.
 * Potamus: [appearing from under the stall partition] Want mine? I ain't gonna use it.

"Droopy Botox"

 * [Harvey and Phil enter a toilet that looks like a palace.]
 * Harvey: Wow.
 * Phil: Ha ha ha! V..pee. Backrub.
 * [Lady appears and starts rubbing Phil's shoulders.]
 * Harvey: Am I supposed to... err... um... in this?
 * Phil: Nothing like gold on gold
 * Harvey: You know Phil, I've wanted this a long time: the money, the attention, the...
 * Phil: Backrub.
 * Harvey: Backrub?
 * [Man appears and starts rubbing Harveys shoulders.]
 * Harvey: Oh... But somehow, it doesn't feel right
 * Phil: You know it didn't feel right to me at first either.
 * Harvey: It didn't?
 * Phil: Nope, but now I can't go wee without a little rub.

 * Blue Falcon: Señor, have faith if you could do me a favor.
 * Birdman: Sure.
 * Blue Falcon: Before you enter, could you expectorate on me.
 * Birdman: Sorry?
 * Blue Falcon: Expectorate... como se dice? Spitting?

"Guitar Control"

 * Harvey: Our Founding Fathers... guaranteed us certain protections. The freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the freedom to own and play stringed instruments of all kinds. Those Founding Fathers didn't place restrictions on these freedoms. They didn't say, "The right to play guitar shall not be violated, except when used to play Green Day's, 'Time of Your Life,' over and over again in the common area of your dorm!" *No!* Where will these restrictions end? A background check when you want to take up banjo? A five day waiting period to buy a Telecaster? An all-out ban on the Flying V or, dare I say, whammy bar? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is up to *you* to defend our right to keep and bear guitars.
 * Reducto: Yes, our Founding Fathers were certainly comfortable with the idea of the lute or the fiddle, but how could they have foreseen the fretless bass? No! There was absolutely no way for them to imagine a time when men would walk the streets brandishing Edgar Winter's Special Edition portable keyboards with standard MIDI interface.
 * [Addressing the gallery front row, containing the Founding Fathers, Antonin Scalia, Funky Phantom, and Edgar Winter]
 * Reducto: Don't look at me!
 * [Starts crawling underneath the gallery seats]
 * Reducto: And while the good people of the National Guitar Association might like you to think otherwise, do you really think we'd all be safer if everyone were walking around with a Sunburst Rickenbacker in their pockets?

 * [Phil's Presidential Campaign commercial, starts with song about how he's "seen almost half of America" with a video of a stripper dancing]
 * Phil: I'm Phil Ken Sebben. You may not know me, but I have 12-billion dollars here that says you'll vote for me regardless.
 * Narrator: Phil Ken Sebben. Strength. Leadership. Vision.
 * Phil: [Interrupting] Oh, almost forgot! I've taken every drug known to man. And not just orally. Just gettin' that out there.
 * Narrator: Paid for by the people who gave Phil Ken Sebben 12-billion dollars.

"Booty Noir"

 * Reducto: I've got a device...a body reshaper.
 * Norlissa: A device? For the booty?
 * Reducto: Well, actually it was invented for other, more dastardly...yes, for the booty!
 * Norlissa: Is it safe?
 * Reducto: It's patented in Sweden.
 * Norlissa: How much does it cost?
 * Reducto: FREE! I mean, it's free.
 * Norlissa: Well all right, when can I make an appointment?
 * Reducto: I have an opening right now. Turn around.
 * Norlissa: You're gonna do it right here!?
 * Reducto: It's out-patient! BACK OFF!
 * [Reducto changes the switch on his shrink gun from 'Reduce' to 'Enlarge']
 * Reducto: Lord help me.
 * [zapping sound; Reducto enlarges Norlissa's backside]
 * Norlissa: Ooh...that didn't hurt a bit!
 * Reducto: Oh, speak for yourself!

 * Harvey: Mr Gator ... [Wally Gator breaths menacengly, Harvey steps back], tell the court in your own words what you do each day
 * Wally Gator: Well ..., I fish and hunt, then I watch NASCAR. yep.
 * Harvey: Things have been harder lately?
 * Wally Gator: Oh sure have! All these chain stores sprung up all over the place
 * Harvey: And the wildlife you're accused of injuring while trying to make your living crawfising in the swamp?
 * Wally Gator: Manatees [Switch to projecting slides where Wally shreds a manatee with his speedboat fan]. Don't see why the laws protecting them! Ain't nothin but floatin' meatsacks! [Court in surprise, deputy zips up pants] . Huh, federal government has NO BUSINESS tellin me how I should live MY LIFE!!!
 * Mightor: [Catering liquor from a reflux still] Heh, preach!!!

"Harvey's Civvy"

 * Potamus: Savannah! Who's ready for some lap candy?
 * Shado: [telepathically] I WILL HAVE THE COBB SALAD.
 * Potamus: Nonsense! We'll have four bloomin' onions and the full slab of baby backs. For the table!
 * Shado: [telepathically] I AM NO LONGER EATING PORK. [talking out loud] I just telepathically communicated that I am no longer eating por—
 * Potamus: Yeah, yeah; here. [tosses Shado a basket of crackers]

 * Mentok: More witnesses, evidence, anything like that?
 * Potamus: Nah, we're done.
 * Mentok: [in Peter Potamus's head] Call Shado to the stand.
 * Potamus: I... call... Shado... to the... stand... Now what?
 * Mentok: [in Peter Potamus's head] Ask him the question.
 * Potamus: Uhh... did you...
 * Mentok: Go on.
 * Potamus: Did you... get... that thing I... sent ya?
 * Shado: [telepathically] THE THING YOU SENT? [talking out loud] I'm sure I did! One moment... [sorting through papers] I think it was on buff, or maybe goldenrod.
 * Mentok: And how long did they have to respond, Mr. Potamus?
 * Potamus: Two weeks.
 * Mentok: Oh, and let's see. That was two weeks ago right... now!  MISTRIAL!
 * Shado: [talking out loud] But nobody knew about that request for discovery. I hid it so well! How—
 * Mentok: Did I know? Back at the bar, when you thought we were getting all palsy-walsy, I was actually flipping through that sorry organizer you call a mind, looking for DIRT! Ya know what we call THAT?! MIND-TAKING BABY!!!!! ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!!!!!! YOU'VE TRIED THE REST, NOW TRY THE BEST!! ONCE YOU'VE GONE BLACK, YOU NEVER GO BACK!!!!!!!!!
 * Harvey: So, I didn't hurt this guy, or that guy, or that guy, or this...gal?
 * Mentok: Oh, no. You hurt 'em, Birdy. You hurt 'em real bad. But you won! And that's all that matters!

"X Gets the Crest"

 * Reducto: Your Honor, Sheriff Ricochet took a—DON'T YOU MOVE FROM THAT CHAIR!—an oath to protect the public, to ensure the public's—YOUR LEGS! STOP MOVING YOUR LEGS!—safety. But in the end he caused more property damage, more injury and loss of life than the very criminals he was—
 * [Ricohet Rabbit starts bouncing around the courtroom]
 * Reducto: [Jumping around and firing his shrink gun] AHHH! You see? This is just the sort of reckless endangerment of which I speak! AHHHH!

 * Birdman: And if someone were stunned, even momentarily, that may be enough time to recover my...
 * Peanut: Crest?
 * Birdman: YES! [Birdman squeezes through oil covered hole, wearing no pants] BIRDMAN'S CREST ON X'S HELMET!
 * [a pregnant pause]
 * Peanut: Well, that was a little creepy.

"Birdgirl of Guantanomole"

 * [Phil Ken Sebben introduces his daughter]
 * Phil: Judy thinks she's interested in a law career. Ha ha ha! Pfft.
 * Judy: That's right, and I've been particularly interested in your work, Mr. Birdman.
 * Harvey: Really?
 * [Phil slaps Harvey with his mug, but appears across the room in the next frame]
 * Phil: Birdman, don't get any ideas, you hear? No touchy touchy, no rubby rubby patty, and no looky looky touchy.
 * Peanut: Sucky.

 * Reducto: Mr. Mole, please show us your uniform.
 * Morocco Mole: My uniform?
 * Reducto: The Geneva Convention states that only those in uniform are considered soldiers.
 * Harvey: Objection, he isn't even wearing any pants.
 * Reducto: Exactly.
 * Phil: Neither am I. Is that a crime?
 * Mentok: Uh, yes. Yes, it is.

"Turner Classic Birdman"

 * Mentok: You're no longer in control of your mind, and your wings are missing too.
 * Harvey: I am no longer in control of my mind, and my wings are missing too.
 * Mentok: Ehh, you don't have to repeat what I'm saying.
 * Harvey: I don't have to repeat what you're saying.
 * Mentok: I mean it stop it.
 * Harvey: I mean it stop it... You mean it stop it
 * Mentok: Okay, lets try this: you only do it when I say "Mentok Says," okay?
 * Harvey: [is silent]
 * Mentok: Okay, good.
 * Harvey: Okay, good.
 * Mentok: I didn't say "Mentok says."
 * Harvey: You didn't say..

 * Birdman: That's it, Falcon Seven! I quit!
 * Falcon Seven: Quit, and do what?
 * Birdman: I don't know, a regular job, like normal people have, a desk job with normal clothes and regular work, work you get paid for…
 * [cut to present day]
 * Phil: [over intercom] Birdman, get in here! A Mr. Peebles is suing Mr. Dibble!
 * Birdman: Sigh!
 * Robert Osborne: And that was 1944's "Double Indemnity" with Fred MacMurray and, of course, the glorious Barbara Stanwyck. Now, later Frank Capra would confess in his autobiography that he fell in love with Stanwyck and had he not been more in love with Lucille Rayburn, whom he eventually did marry, he would have asked Barbara Stanwyck to marry him, after she called it quits with Frank Fay and before she married Robert Taylor. Well, that's it for tonight, thanks for watching, and I'll see you next time.

"Beyond the Valley of the Dinosaurs"

 * Grok: An oracle foretold of a pink feathered man-bird coming from the sky to bring pestilence and death upon our tribe.   You bad chinga, brother.

 * Phil: I'm not a marriage counselor, but I do have this whip.

"Evolutionary War"

 * Harvey: Peanut, if we're going to win this case, I need proof.
 * Peanut: Proof of what?
 * Harvey: Um... Evolution?
 * [they come across an unnamed governor suspiciously-reminiscent of George Wallace at the schoolhouse gates]
 * Peanut: I'd look elsewhere for that...

 * [Harvey is in a stall in the bathroom]
 * Birdman: [sighs]
 * Potamus: That you Birdman?
 * Birdman: You know, now is not a great time.
 * Potamus: Did'ja get that thing I sent ya?
 * Birdman: No! No I didn't! I never get that thing you sent me! I've never gotten that thing you sent me, and I'm beginning to wonder if you ever once sent me anything! While I'm at it, if I HAD gotten that thing you sent me—EVER!—I doubt I'd be interested in what it said. [loud sigh]
 * Potamus: [whimpers]
 * Birdman: Hey, hey, oh... I'm, I'm sorry.
 * Potamus: [sobs uncontrollably]
 * Birdman: Look, I, uh... I made a mistake. Yeah! It seems I did get something earlier today.
 * Potamus: [bursts out of stall] YA DID!? [runs out of bathroom] HE GOT THAT THING I SENT 'EM!

"Free Magilla"

 * Phil: Mopey, mopey hippo!

 * Phil: [showing the triplets how to tie a knot] The rabbit comes out of the hole, goes around the tree, sees a lady rabbit and invites her back to the waren, but then remembers he's married, so he takes a detour to that little motel out on the interstate.
 * Spewie: What else can you teach us, Mr. Phil?
 * Phil: Uhh, I dunno. How about first aid?
 * [the triplets cheer]
 * Phil: Alright. Lesson number 1: choking.  Okay, which one of you can pretend to be choking for me? Has to be realistic, now.
 * [Potamus falls over choking in the background]

"Return of Birdgirl"

 * Potamus: Shhh... Shhh... Birdman, Shhh... Shhhent ya... Shh.
 * Harvey: But I don't know what I'm doing.
 * Potamus: Nonsense. Look at me.  Look at me.  Now, listen very closely... to what I'm about to say to you.
 * Harvey: Oh, okay...
 * Potamus: Promise that you are going to listen to these words with all your heart.
 * Harvey: Okay.
 * Potamus: Do you have... inside you... here...?
 * Harvey: Yes?
 * Potamus: Deep, deep, inside you... Do you have the one true thing that you need... in life that will guide you through it all?
 * Harvey: Yes?
 * Potamus: Do you have that one thing...?
 * Harvey: What thing? Tell me. WHAT IS IT?!
 * Potamus: It is that thing that I sent to you.
 * [an exasperated Harvey plunges his face back into the sink.]
 * Potamus: [leaves bathroom, passing attendant Azul Falcone] You're outta talc!

"Mindless"

 * Spyro: So, Mr. Dum-Dum, please tell us what happened on the morning of the 24th.
 * Dum-Dum: Der, well, it was a Thursday. Thursday's the garbage day in our house.
 * Mentok: [in his head] This is my life. This... is what it's come to. Off the charts IQ, best schools in the galaxy, and I'm stuck here with Butter-Boob (Dum-Dum) and Nit-Snicky (Sypro).

 * Mentok: [To the dog and Spyro, who have swapped minds] You two, scat. I wanna lock up.
 * Spyro (as dog): I'll bite you on the ass. Growl.
 * Mentok: Oh alright, I'll switch you back. Geez; spoilsport. Booweeoop'kay.
 * [an unearthy voice utters 'MENTOK' as the mind of Spyro and a dog exchange bodies]
 * Mentok: [to Spyro] Say something. [Spyro barks] Uh,oh. [to dog] You? [dog barks] Mmmmnot good.

"Sebben and Sebben Employee Orientation"

 * Voice over: Sebben and Sebben gives back to the community in a number of ways, our support of the arts featuring the annual Sebben and Sebben Shakespeare festival
 * [Phil is is alone on a stage, dressed as Hamlet.]
 * Phil: To die... to sleep... to sleep, perchance to dream; ay, there's the rub... Ha ha... rub! For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come... must give us pause... make us bear those... uh, I've forgotten. Huh... I know I'm depressed about something. Uh-ba-da-da... mother: dead.... no, father dead, mother alive, kind of a sexy thing with the mom, uncle; probably killed my father, girlfriend: crazy as a loon, her father's a chatterbox, I killed him... ah, this is all too complicated. [Thunderous applause.]
 * Voice over: And most importantly providing the resources for individual employees to set up their own charity work, like the Peter Potamus Home for Hot Unwed Mothers.

 * [Explaining the five steps to success at Sebben & Sebben]
 * Voice over: Identifying that thing.
 * Potamus: [echoing] That thing...
 * Voice over: Setting your sights on that thing.
 * Potamus: [echoing] That thing...
 * Voice over: Reaching for that thing.
 * Potamus: [echoing] That thing...
 * Voice over: Getting that thing.
 * Potamus: [echoing] You get that thing?
 * Voice over: Recognition for getting that thing
 * Potamus: [echoing] Congratulations... [farts] Excuse me I got tension.

"Identity Theft"

 * Elliott: Harvey Birdman. Harvey Birdman. Baffacch! Baffacch! Just the latest in a long series of duplication slights. [Cut to a photo shop] First, there was his ridiculous refusal to accept the second set of photo prints.
 * Clerk #1: Want twin shots?
 * Harvey: One print's fine.
 * Elliott: [in a video rental store] Then...
 * Elliott: Do you have Double Indemnity?
 * Clerk #2: [pointing to Harvey in line with movie and pouring popcorn into his mouth] That guy's got it.
 * Elliott: Then, his dating of not just one, but both of the Doublemint Twins.
 * [The twins get into Harvey's convertible and drive off with him, leaving Elliott in the dust]
 * Elliott: Baffacch! Now his final crime, the crime for which I will exact revenge—getting my name wrong. Everyone knows it's Elliott—two L's and two T's. I have two of EVERYTHING, for I am the Deadly Duplicator!

 * Harvey Birdmans: I/we know what you've been up to, Elliott, or should I say "the Deadly Duplicator". Your reproductive days are over!
 * Hiram Mightor [quick cutaway] Deedle-deedle-dee.
 * Elliott: We'll see about that, Birdman, and Birdman, and Birdman, and Birdman, and Birdman and Birdman.

 * Phil clone: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe, and from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moments lost in time; gone like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die... [He gets shoved into a woodchipper]

"Mufti Trouble"

 * Mentok: What's the meaning of this? This is my quiet time.
 * Hiram Mightor: We're going to have to take you into custody.
 * Mentok: Ha ha. That's outrageous. What am I charged with?
 * Hiram Mightor: Don't have to tell you anymore. Clearly you haven't been reading your Scalia.

 * Harvey: You're a genie?
 * Mentok: Used to be a genie. I was also a sex worker, a Cossack, and an EST instructor for a summer in Marin. My point? I'm in jail, you idiot! Look, Shazzan has everyone fooled. He's trying to pin it on me.
 * Harvey: So, we'll...we'll just go to the judge and tell him your story.
 * Mentok: I'm a judge! We don't believe anything!

 * Potamus: [from inside bathroom stall] That you, Birdman?

[Potamus emerges from stall, sees that it is a custodian mopping bathroom floor]
 * Potamus: Oh. Hey, regarding the talc situation—YOU'RE OUT OF IT!
 * Avenger: Potamus...
 * Potamus: Eh?
 * Avenger: Did you flush?
 * Potamus: Who said that?
 * Avenger: I did. Fat-ass.
 * Potamus: Meyn Got! Talkin' animal! [recoiling] This ain't riiight! SKEEVIN' ME OUT! [flees bathroom]

"Incredible Hippo"

 * Potamus: Oy gevalt. Please tell me those ain't Heisenberg Brothers Bagels. [Tramples to Harvey's desk] What kind should I have?!
 * Harvey Birdman: I'm uncertain.
 * Potamus: I haven't had bread for months. I've had a wallear for a Kaiser roll or somethin' starchy. Oyster crackers—anything! A sammich without bread iddn't a sammich—it's meat with mustard on your hands! What's that one, POPPY?!

 * Phil Ken Sebben: That monster is attacking Judy!
 * Harvey Birdman: But Phil, he's saving her!
 * Phil Ken Sebben: My God, you're right! (Presses tank fire button) I can't believe it! (Presses tank fire button) I was so wrong about that creature, dead wrong. Ha ha! Foreshadowing! About the dead part, not the wrong part. I only saw his grotesque visage, not his noble, majestic hearrrrrt.

"Babysitter"

 * [Potamus has taken control of the firm and is sitting in Phil Ken Sebben's office]
 * Judy: Daddy?
 * Potamus: I love this job.
 * Judy: Where's daddy?
 * Potamus: Uh...he went on, uh...a...
 * [Potamus sees a billboard with 'vacation' partially replaced by 'honeymoon']
 * Potamus: vaca...neymoon.
 * Judy: Vacaneymoon? With Aunt Phyllis? He didn't say anything about—
 * Potamus: They eloped. Silly kids.
 * Judy: But elopement's for the wedding, not the vacaneymoon.
 * [Potamus rushes her out of the office]
 * Potamus: Be happy for them! It's a joyous time!
 * Judy: Well do you know when he'll be back? I need him to sign this...ugh Sex Ed permission slip for my community college.
 * Potamus: He just said "Co-co butter"...and like that...he was gone.

 * Guy: Hey! You don't have the authority to hire people!
 * Potamus: Oh yeah? [leans out the window where below, an attractive girl walks past] Hey HA-HAs! You're hired!

"Birdnapped"

 * Mary: You see, I had to give up my last job so I could take care of my mother. And then there's the lunch money that I've been sending to the African schoolchildren. So how much is my raise?
 * Harvey: 20%
 * Birdgirl: Nothing! In fact, you're fired! Ka-Downsized! You spend five hours a day Googling pictures of kittens in rain boots! Get out!
 * Mary: How could you DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!
 * Potamus: ...and the school kids.
 * Harvey: It was Phil!
 * Mary: HOW DARE YOU BLAME A DEAD MAN, YOU BASTARD!!!

 * Debbie: Mr.—slight retch—Birdman's office.
 * X: Hi, Debbie, it's me. Put me through please. [Debbie hangs up] Hello? [Redials] It's X. Uh, X the Eliminator? Yeah, I'd like to speak to Harvey if I could, please.
 * Debbie: No, he's booked through December. Try back next year.
 * X: Look! I need to talk to him, okay? It's regarding tonight's menu!
 * Debbie: I don't have him down for dinner.
 * X: I...didn't invite him yet. [Debbie hangs up again] I understand. Short notice. [Slams phone down] I hate him!
 * Zardo: Um, well?
 * X: He's not coming!

"Grodin"

 * Devlin: Whores are for heroes!

 * [X dials the number for an Evil Life Coach]
 * Perfectionist: Hi. I've changed my menu options, so please listen carefully. For landscaping, press one. Dog walking, press two. Nude housecleaning, press any key any time...
 * X: [impatiently] Come on, come on, come on...
 * Perfectionist: If you need an Evil Life Coach, press four.
 * [X presses four]
 * X: [awkwardly] Hi... uh, heh... Well, I saw your ad, and uh...
 * Voice Mail Prompt: You have... ten... seconds.
 * X: [frantically] PLEASE HELP ME, I'M NOT EVIL ENOUGH! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! MAKE ME EVIL!

"Juror in Court"

 * Harvey: [alone in his kitchen] I have to call this number after five P.M. to see if it is necessary to report for Jury Duty... Who am I talking to?

[Harvey dials the number]
 * Harvey: Please say no, please say no...
 * Mentok: [answering the phone] If your number is below two thousand three hundred fifty eight...

[Harvey checks his number: 2359]
 * Mentok: You don't have to report tomorrow.
 * Harvey: Damn!
 * Mentok: I'm not finished.
 * Harvey: Oh.
 * Mentok: If your number is divisible by fourteen, you don't have to report.
 * Harvey: Damn! [starts doing long division]
 * Mentok: If two trains left your number at the same time headed in opposite directions, you don't have to report.
 * Harvey: Damn!
 * Mentok: If your number is two thousand three hundred fifty nine or above, you don't have to report.
 * Harvey: YES!!
 * Mentok: Unless it is two thousand three hundred fifty nine, and then you do! WE'LL SEE YOU AT 5:45 AM, SUCKERRRR!!!

 * Harvey: $27.90? But this meal voucher they gave us is only good for three dollars.
 * Elliott the Deadly Duplicator: (behind the counter) Ah-HA-ha-hahaha! Yes! YES! The mighty Birdman humbled by a chimichanga! Wait, that thing is $27.90? (clerk nods) Are you kidding me?! That's bullshit! He doesn't even get a fountain drink! Gimme that! (snatches voucher and duplicates it) There, now you owe him $8.10. How's that feel, huh?(Elliot exits cafe, turns left, another Elliot comes from right side of the door and jumps on counter) And what the fuck is chipotle anyway?!

"The Death of Harvey"

 * Harvey: (numbers popping up) Case #398567703296...
 * Mentok: ...7228489273124...
 * Harvey: ...483395639462...
 * Peanut: ...8.
 * Birdgirl: Who is it?!
 * Harvey: Nitron.
 * Mentok: And he's not alone; I gave him the keys to the Death-Con 12 (12).
 * Harvey: How could you?!
 * Mentok: Hey, nobody's perfekt. That's spelled with a K.

 * Phil: No matter how many times you say that, it still gets me ro- Oh, my God! I just did the math! By "Daddy", you don't mean bend me over your knee and call the fire department because you have a flamer down there; you mean Daddy! Judy! Daughter, is it you?
 * Everyone in the Background: Yes!
 * Phil: I can't believe you were trying to get into your own father's pants. Now that's just sick. And me helpless, (pointing down) with the one eye.

Harvey Birdman: Attorney General

 * Phil: Peter Potamus... Phil Ken Sebben.
 * Potamus: Mr. President what an honor.
 * Phil: Listen, I'm wondering if you'd be interested in bringing your brand of populous shadily financed wisdom here to D.C. to join my administration.
 * Potamus: Can I still speak truth to power, except when truth becomes inconvenient to power?
 * Phil: Get out here you!

Cast members

 * Main cast
 * Gary Cole - Harvey Birdman, Hiram Mightor
 * Stephen Colbert - Phil Ken Sebben, Myron Reducto
 * Thomas Allen - Peanut
 * John Michael Higgins - Mentok the Mind-Taker, various
 * Chris Edgerly - Peter Potamus, various
 * Grey DeLisle - Debbie, Daphne Blake, various
 * Paget Brewster - Judy Ken Sebben/Birdgirl

 * Recurring guest stars
 * Peter MacNicol - X The Eliminator
 * Debi Mae West - GiGi
 * Maurice LaMarche - Blue Falcone, Stan Freezoid, Apache Chief, various
 * Matt Peccini - The Bear
 * Phil Lamarr - Black Vulcan
 * Neil Ross - Vulturo, various
 * Toby Huss - Ernie Devlin

title: Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law


text:
User talk:Harry491~enwikiquote

Thanks for your work on Edward Osborne Wilson. I have edited it to comply with standard wikiquote person-page formatting. ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 9 July 2005 18:39 (UTC)
 * I am sorry if I offended you. You do not have to stop contributing articles or quotes until you are more familiar -- contributing is how you get familiar. I pointed you to my edits for two reasons: 1. To show you how to format things better 2. So you could look over my edits and see that I didn't ruin anything. If you think anything is worse off than before, please let me know -- together, we work on making wikiquote be the best quote collection it can. Thanks again for your contribution ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 17:43, 12 July 2005 (UTC)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Harry491. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Harry491~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:23, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:48, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: User talk:Harry491~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:64.12.116.202

Hi. Please note I have nominated Consumerism for deletion, since it lacks any quotes. Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 9 July 2005 18:43 (UTC)

--Aphaia 20:18, 7 August 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:64.12.116.202


text:
User talk:172.158.131.246

Hi. In your recent helpful addition of episode names to the Six Feet Under page, you have accidentally removed the only quote that was on that page (I believe it was one from one of the early episodes, but I am not sure which one). I have added an "unknown episode" category, and re-added that quote. Please take more care in the future to avoid deleting quotes. Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 9 July 2005 18:47 (UTC)

title: User talk:172.158.131.246


text:
User talk:Fyliao

Thanks for your work on the Audrey Hepburn page. ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 9 July 2005 18:50 (UTC)

title: User talk:Fyliao


text:
User talk:69.161.147.213

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 9 July 2005 18:53 (UTC)

title: User talk:69.161.147.213


text:
User talk:67.81.172.48

Hi. I have reverted your recent addition of encyclopedic information to wikiquote. Please note wikiquote is not an encyclopedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org will be happy to accept encyclopedic information. Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 9 July 2005 18:55 (UTC)

title: User talk:67.81.172.48


text:
User talk:Richard Allen~enwikiquote

Hi. You probably wanted to put your comment at VfD, where we discuss deletions. Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 19:40, 9 July 2005 (UTC)

Cable Street

 * Sorry I can't figure what you want. You created an article contained only "delete" tag. It wouldn't delete anything existing but only increase sysop work. I would like you to explain what you desired. Thank you. --Aphaia 20:48, 9 July 2005 (UTC)

Anyway,

Places theme
Richard, I see you created a well-organized list for place articles under Places. It's been nominated for deletion because a Wikimedia category, Category:Places, already exists. (Don't worry; these categories are relatively new to all of wikidom, so it's not an uncommon habit to create a theme or list article where a category would better serve.) Don't let this stop you from your growing contributions to Wikiquote. We're glad to have you here! — Jeff Q (talk) 01:34, 10 July 2005 (UTC)

Thanks for your interest Jeff. I wanted to create a Quote category for Place Themes, not just Places. But I don't understand yet how the WikiQuotes categories (or lists) fit with the Wikimedia ones. Where's it explained? Richard Allen 01:49, 10 July 2005 (UTC)

 * I'm afraid I don't understand your question. An article about something that isn't a person or a work is effectively a theme article. What do you mean by "Place Themes" that does not correspond to "a collection of articles about places" (which is what Category:Places is)? As for Categories (often capitalized to distinguish Wikimedia categories from the general concept of "categories"), you can read about them at Wikipedia:Category and meta:Help:Category. — Jeff Q (talk) 03:59, 10 July 2005 (UTC)

Formatting
Hi, would you know our recommended formatting? It is available on Templates. And please avoid using h1 (= =). We don't use it in main namespace. Thank you! --Aphaia 02:28, 10 July 2005 (UTC)

Isaac Rosenberg
Hi, Richard Allen, thank you for your contribution Isaac Rosenberg, I read it with a great pleasure, his works are very impressive. Can you provide bibliography to those works more closely? In which book they were first appeared and so on. Then we can credit it as "sourced" quotes. It is very helpful for readers to encourage their further readings. Cheers, --Aphaia 02:38, 10 July 2005 (UTC)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Richard Allen. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Richard Allen~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:33, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:55, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Richard Allen~enwikiquote


text:
Cable Street

Cable Street is a road in the East End of London, England, with several historic landmarks nearby. It was made famous by the Battle of Cable Street in 1936.

Quotes

 * You are not to suppose, gentle reader, that the population of Ratcliffe is destitute of an admixture of the fairer portion of the creation. Jack has his Jill in St. George's Street, Cable Street, Back Lane, and the Commercial Road. Jill is inclined to corpulence; if it were not libellous, I could hint a suspicion that Jill is not unaddicted to the use of spirituous liquors. Jill wears a silk handkerchief round her neck, as Jack does; like him, too, she rolls, occasionally; I believe, smokes, frequently; I am afraid, swears, occasionally. Jack is a cosmopolite -here to-day, gone to-morrow; but Jill is peculiar to maritime London. She nails her colours to the mast of Ratcliffe. Jill has her good points, though she does scold a little, and fight a little, and drink a little. She is just what Mr. Thomas Dibdin has depicted her, and nothing more or less. She takes care of Jack's tobacco-box ; his trousers she washes, and. his grog, too, she makes; and if he enacts occasionally the part of a maritime Giovanni, promising to walk in the Mall with Susan of Deptford, and likewise with Sal, she only upbraids him with a tear. I wish the words of all songs had as much sense and as much truth in them as Mr. Dibdin's have.
 * Watts Phillips The Wild Tribes of London, 'Jack Alive in London' (1855)
 * See http://www.victorianlondon.org/districts/eastendriver.htm

 * The Battle of Cable Street is, excluding events connected to the Royal family and world wars, the most remembered day in twentieth century Britain. This article explores how the memory of 4 October 1936 was contested initially by contemporaries and then by subsequent generations in attempts to make it a 'usable past'. The pattern of remembering has been uneven, with periods of intense interest and then decline, but the 'Battle' has now gained mythical status and is represented in a wide range of artistic and cultural forms. The major argument of this article, following the general approach of Jonathan Boyarin, is that the processes of remembering and forgetting the 'Battle' are inseparable and cannot be seen as simple opposites. Indeed, as the century comes to a close there is a danger that the increasing commemoration of 4 October 1936 will be at the expense of remembering the specific events of the day itself.
 * Tony Kushner Long May Its Memory Live!: Writing and Rewriting "the Battle of Cable Street" (1999) ISBN 0853033625

title: Cable Street


text:
Talk:Places

I think we are better to not have it. Like "anime" or "favorites". In the past time we need to have lists but today we are discussing replace lists with categories. From my view, this is out of date attempt.

And even if this page should survive, it should be "List of places" following our convention. --Aphaia 20:53, 9 July 2005 (UTC)

-

So in the list of themes there was a red (i.e. empty) entry 'Locations' - which leads me to a page called Places - which doesn't show up in the list of themes.. Please feel free to delete the Gertrude Stein quote again if you want to delete 'Locations' from the list of themes. sunny 20:37, 18 February 2006 (UTC)

Unsourced

 * Wherever you are is the entry point.
 * Kabir

title: Talk:Places


text:
Quentin Tarantino

Quentin Jerome Tarantino (born 27 March 1963 in Knoxville, Tennessee) is an American screenwriter, film director and actor. His films include Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2, Inglorious Basterds and Django Unchained.

Quotes

 * Watch the movie closely, and you’ll see how personal it is. Here’s a film in which cinema brings down the Nazi regime, metaphorically and literally. What could possibly be better than that? In this story, cinema changes the world, and I fucking love that idea!
 * Interview with The London Paper about Inglourious Basterds

 * I've always thought my soundtracks do pretty good, because they're basically professional equivalents of a mix tape I'd make for you at home.
 * BBC interview

 * Violence is a form of cinematic entertainment.
 * BBC interview

 * I write movies about mavericks, about people who break rules, and I don't like movies about people who are pulverised for being mavericks.
 * Virgin.Net interview

 * I look at Death Proof and realize I had too much time.
 * Q&A at hollywoodreporter.com

 * I steal from every single movie ever made. If people don't like that, then tough tills, don't go and see it, all right? I steal from everything. Great artists steal, they don't do homages.
 * Empire magazine interview, 1994.

 * I've got so many movies I would like to make. I've got my western, my World War II bunch of guys on a mission, my spaghetti western, my horror film. But since I know I won't live long enough to do all the movies I want to do, with every movie the goal is to wipe out as many as I can.
 * Interview, circa 1994; as quoted in Halliwell's Who's Who in the Movies (2003) by Leslie Halliwell, p. 450

 * Once a lonely caterpillar sat and cried, To a sympathetic beetle by his side. "I've got nobody to hug, I'm such an ugly bug." Then a spider and a dragon fly replied, "If you're serious and want to win a bride, Come along with us, To the glorious Annual ugly bug ball." Come on let's crawl Gotta crawl, gotta crawl To the ugly bug ball To the ball, to the ball And a happy time we'll have there One and all At the ugly bug ball While the crickets clicked their tricky melodies All the ants were fancy-dancing with the fleas Then up from under the ground The worms came squirming around Oh they danced until there legs were nearly lame Every little crawling creature you could name Everyone was glad What a time they had They were so happy they came Everyone was glad! What a time they had! They were so happy they came! Come on let's crawl Gotta crawl, gotta crawl To the ugly bug ball To the ball, to the ball And a happy time we'll have there One and all! At the ugly bug ball. Then our caterpillar saw a pretty queen She was beautiful in yellow, black and green He said, "Would you care to dance?" Their dancing led to romance. And she sat upon his caterpillar knees And he gave his caterpillar queen a squeeze Soon they'll honeymoon Build a big cocoon Thanks to the ugly bug ball Come on let's crawl Gotta crawl, gotta crawl, To the ugly bug ball To the ball, to the ball And a happy time we'll have there One and all! At the ugly bug ball!
 * Quentin Tarantino on media criticisms of animal exploitation in his movies.

 * Sure, Kill Bill's a violent movie. But it's a Tarantino movie. You don't go to see Metallica and ask the fuckers to turn the music down.
 * Quentin Tarantino on media criticisms of violence in his movies.

 * I am a genre lover – everything from spaghetti western to samurai movie.
 * Talking Fiction (Rolling Stone, 2003).

 * Sure, and that's the cool thing about DVD: you can pack stuff on the disc that would've been too much for the big screen because actually it would've only interested yourself and a bunch of fanboys, who wanna know everything.
 * Talking Fiction (Rolling Stone, 2003).

 * To me, torture would be watching sports on television.
 * Playboy interview (November 1994 issue).

 * But can I tell the genuine-article Italian from the poseur Italian? No. To me they all seem like poseurs.
 * Playboy interview (November 1994 issue).

 * The harshest censorship is self-censorship.
 * Cinema Speculation, pp. 118-119

 * ...that fucking wasteland of a decade...
 * about the 1980s, in Cinema Speculation, p. 123

About Quentin Tarantino

 * Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino also spoke briefly at the rally. "What am I doing here? I'm here because I am a human being with a conscience. And when I see murder, I cannot stand by, and I have to call the murdered the murdered, and I have to call the murderers the murderers." In response to Tarantino's comments branding some police murderers, police organizations in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Los Angeles, and elsewhere called for a boycott of Tarantino's films, and said they would refuse to provide security for his projects.
 * Amy Goodman Democracy Now!: Twenty Years Covering the Movements Changing America (2017) p 281, after Sean Carroll, Richard Murphy, Edward McMellon, and Kenneth Boss killed Amadou Diallo

 * He is a person full of humanity. His scenes may seem a little dreadful, but try to do this: when you look at them, try to focus not on the murderer but on the victim. In the victim's eye you can see all the sensitivity of Tarantino.
 * Ennio Morricone
 * From: Cazzullo, Aldo (2016), Morricone: "Premiate le mie fatiche, ma non lavorerò più per la Rai", Corriere della Sera

 * I think Disney were the first studio to realise that home video changed the nature of the films they were putting out. They weren’t doing it in a narrative sense, but they started layering the animation more and more, because they knew that kids would watch these films again and again. So, there’s also a visual density that comes in right about then – at the same time, Ridley Scott was making Blade Runner and stuffing the frame with all these different things; there’s too much to take in on one viewing. Then when Tarantino comes in in the early 90s, you start getting that same density in narrative. And a lot of that is because you can now own a film in the way you own a piece of music, you can control it in a way; it doesn’t just pass across you the way it does on television. That’s a big reason why, when I started in films with Following and Memento, it was still seen as radical or unusual not to tell the story chronologically, which has never been the case in literature. You go back to The Odyssey, it’s never been the case that you’re supposed to tell a story from beginning to end. That’s been the exception in every other narrative medium, it’s really only in movies that that was for a time demanded, and I don’t think it is any more.
 * Christopher Nolan, as quoted in Christopher Nolan: a showman's odyssey, by James Bell, 14 February 2024, Sight and Sound magazine, British Film Institute.

title: Quentin Tarantino


text:
User talk:201.0.20.245

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title: User talk:201.0.20.245


text:
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (born Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor Jr.; April 16, 1947) is an American former professional basketball player who played 20 seasons in the National Basketball Association (NBA) for the Milwaukee Bucks and the Los Angeles Lakers. During his career as a center, Abdul-Jabbar was a record six-time NBA Most Valuable Player (MVP), a record 19-time NBA All-Star, a 15-time All-NBA selection, and an 11-time NBA All-Defensive Team member. A member of six NBA championship teams as a player and two more as an assistant coach, Abdul-Jabbar twice was voted NBA Finals MVP. In 1996, he was honored as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History. NBA coach Pat Riley and players Isiah Thomas and Julius Erving have called him the greatest basketball player of all time.

Quotes

 * It was my first time away from home, my first experience in an all-black situation, and I found myself being punished for everything I'd ever been taught was right. I got all A's and was hated for it; I spoke correctly and was called a punk. I had to learn a new language simply to deal with the threats. I had good manners, and was a good little boy and paid for it with my hide.
 * Giant Steps (1983).

 * I'm not comfortable being preachy, but more people have to start spending as much time in the library as they do on the basketball court. If they took to the idea that they could escape poverty through education, I think it would make a more basic and long-lasting change in the way things happen. When we set up unrealistic goals and then don't achieve them, that's another example of internalized defeat. What we need are positive, realistic ideas and the willingness to work. Hard work and practical goals.
 * Kareem (1990): p. 157

Yet, even if the universe is indifferent, most people are not.
 * In Alan Moore’s brilliant graphic novel, Batman: The Killing Joke, the Joker justifies his psychopathic behavior by philosophizing that every human being is just "one bad day away" from rejecting the polite veneer of civilization's morality in the face of an indifferent universe. To him, we are all amoral sleeper agents awaiting the secret code word to awaken us to selfish violence.
 * "Why the 'Joker' Gun Violence Protests Miss the Mark", The Hollywood Reporter (October 2, 2019).

 * Though movies (Taxi Driver for John Hinckley Jr., would-be assassin of Ronald Reagan), books (The Catcher in the Rye for Mark David Chapman, John Lennon's murderer) and songs ("Helter Skelter" for Tate-LaBianca murders mastermind Charles Manson) may articulate specific criminals acts, they don’t inspire the person's desire for violence. Science has proven that in numerous studies. It's tempting to blame movies, video games and rap music because they often express humanity's worst impulses, but impulses are not actions for most of us. And for the mentally ill seeking violence, anything can set them off. Alek Minassian, the self-described incel (involuntary celibate) who deliberately drove his van into a crowd in Toronto in 2018, killing 10 people, said he was motivated by his resentment toward women for having sexually rejected him in favor of giving "their love and affection to obnoxious brutes." Should we then demand that studios producing romantic comedies and publishers of romance novels be shamed into contributing to anti-incel causes? The 2017 Las Vegas shooter killed 59 and injured 851 during a country music festival. Should country music bear some responsibility?
 * "Why the 'Joker' Gun Violence Protests Miss the Mark", The Hollywood Reporter (October 2, 2019).

 * When Bruce closed the schools, he felt he was unburdening himself of having to prove through his students that his system had merit. He didn't want to get into that. He wanted them to evolve and teach, but It was not a thing where you have to teach what I taught. You have to teach what you learned and that's going to be more than what he taught, hopefully for those students that understood what he was doing.
 * Bruce Lee: A Warrior's Journey

title: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar


text:
Isaac Rosenberg

Isaac Rosenberg (25 November 1890 – 1 April 1918) was an English poet and artist. His Poems from the Trenches are recognized as some of the most outstanding poetry written during the First World War.

On Receiving News of the War (1914)

 * Snow is a strange white word. No ice or frost Has asked of bud or bird For Winter's cost. Yet ice and frost and snow From earth to sky This Summer land doth know. No man knows why.  In all men's hearts it is. Some spirit old Hath turned with malign kiss Our lives to mould.  Red fangs have torn His face. God's blood is shed. He mourns from His lone place His children dead.  O! ancient crimson curse Corrode, consume. Give back this universe Its pristine bloom.

Break of Day in the Trenches (1916)

 * The darkness crumbles away. It is the same old druid Time as ever, Only a live thing leaps my hand, A queer sardonic rat, As I pull the parapet's poppy To stick behind my ear. Droll rat, they would shoot you if they knew Your cosmopolitan sympathies. Now you have touched this English hand You will do the same to a German Soon, no doubt, if it be your pleasure To cross the sleeping green between. It seems you inwardly grin as you pass Strong eyes, fine limbs, haughty athletes, Less chanced than you for life, Bonds to the whims of murder, Sprawled in the bowels of the earth, The torn fields of France. What do you see in our eyes At the shrieking iron and flame Hurled through still heavens ? What quaver--what heart aghast? Poppies whose roots are in man's veins Drop, and are ever dropping; But mine in my ear is safe-- Just a little white with the dust.

God

 * In his malodorous brain what slugs and mire, Lanthorned in his oblique eyes, guttering burned! His body lodged a rat where men nursed souls The world flashed grape-green eyes of a foiled cat To him. On fragments of an old shrunk power, On shy and maimed, on women wrung awry He lay, a bullying hulk, to crush them more. But when one, fearless, turned and clawed like bronze, Cringing was easy to blunt these stern paws, And he would weigh the heavier on those after. Who rests in God's mean flattery now? Your wealth Is but his cunning to make death more hard. Your iron sinews take more pain in breaking. And he has made the market for your beauty Too poor to buy, although you die to sell. Only that he has never heard of sleep; And when the cats come out the rats are sly. Here we are safe till he slinks in at dawn. But he has gnawed a fibre from strange roots, And in the morning some pale wonder ceases. Things are not strange and strange things are forgetful. Ah! if the day were arid, somehow lost Out of us, but it is as hair of us, And only in the hush no wind stirs it. And in the light vague trouble lifts and breathes, And restlessness still shadows the lost ways. The fingers shut on voices that pass through, Where blind farewells are taken easily . . . Ah! this miasma of a rotting God!
 * (written 1916 or before)

Louse Hunting

 * Nudes -- stark and glistening, Yelling in lurid glee. Grinning faces And raging limbs Whirl over the floor one fire. For a shirt verminously busy Yon soldier tore from his throat, with oaths Godhead might shrink at, but not the lice. And soon the shirt was aflare Over the candle he'd lit while we lay. Then we all sprang up and stript To hunt the verminous brood. Soon like a demons' pantomine The place was raging. See the silhouettes agape, See the glibbering shadows Mixed with the battled arms on the wall. See gargantuan hooked fingers Pluck in supreme flesh To smutch supreme littleness. See the merry limbs in hot Highland fling Because some wizard vermin Charmed from the quiet this revel When our ears were half lulled By the dark music Blown from Sleep's trumpet.

Dead Man's Dump (1916)
What fierce imaginings their dark souls lit? Earth! have they gone into you! Somewhere they must have gone, And flung on your hard back Is their soul’s sack Emptied of God-ancestralled essences. Who hurled them out? Who hurled? None saw their spirits’ shadow shake the grass, Or stood aside for the half used life to pass Out of those doomed nostrils and the doomed mouth, When the swift iron burning bee Drained the wild honey of their youth. What of us who, flung on the shrieking pyre, Walk, our usual thoughts untouched, Our lucky limbs as on ichor fed, Immortal seeming ever? Perhaps when the flames beat loud on us, A fear may choke in our veins And the startled blood may stop. The air is loud with death, The dark air spurts with fire, The explosions ceaseless are. Timelessly now, some minutes past, Those dead strode time with vigorous life, Till the shrapnel called ‘An end!’ But not to all. In bleeding pangs Some borne on stretchers dreamed of home, Dear things, war-blotted from their hearts. Maniac Earth! howling and flying, your bowel Seared by the jagged fire, the iron love, The impetuous storm of savage love. Dark Earth! dark Heavens! swinging in chemic smoke, What dead are born when you kiss each soundless soul With lightning and thunder from your mined heart, Which man’s self dug, and his blind fingers loosed? A man’s brains splattered on A stretcher-bearer’s face; His shook shoulders slipped their load, But when they bent to look again The drowning soul was sunk too deep For human tenderness. They left this dead with the older dead, Stretched at the cross roads. Burnt black by strange decay Their sinister faces lie, The lid over each eye, The grass and coloured clay More motion have than they, Joined to the great sunk silences. Here is one not long dead; His dark hearing caught our far wheels, And the choked soul stretched weak hands To reach the living word the far wheels said, The blood-dazed intelligence beating for light, Crying through the suspense of the far torturing wheels Swift for the end to break Or the wheels to break, Cried as the tide of the world broke over his sight. Will they come? Will they ever come? Even as the mixed hoofs of the mules, The quivering-bellied mules, And the rushing wheels all mixed With his tortured upturned sight. So we crashed round the bend, We heard his weak scream, We heard his very last sound, And our wheels grazed his dead face.
 * The plunging limbers over the shattered track Racketed with their rusty freight, Stuck out like many crowns of thorns, And the rusty stakes like sceptres old To stay the flood of brutish men Upon our brothers dear. The wheels lurched over sprawled dead But pained them not, though their bones crunched, Their shut mouths made no moan. They lie there huddled, friend and foeman, Man born of man, and born of woman, And shells go crying over them From night till night and now. Earth has waited for them, All the time of their growth Fretting for their decay: Now she has them at last! In the strength of their strength Suspended—stopped and held.

title: Isaac Rosenberg