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Islam

Islam is an Abrahamic monotheistic religion originating with Muhammad and centered on the religious text known as the Qur'an. It is the world's second-largest religion and the fastest-growing major religion in the world, with an estimated 1.8 billion adherents (as of 2017), known as Muslims. Linguistically, Islam means "submission to God", referring to the total surrender of one's self to God (Arabic: الله, Allāh), and a Muslim is "one who submits to God".

A

 * Islam is often seen as a monolith, when it is as diverse as any other tradition, with followers running the gamut from modernizers to traditionalists. Some commentators talk as if the world of Islam was more or less identical with the Arab world -- whereas in fact a majority of Muslims are not native Arabic speakers.  The most populous Muslim countries are to be found in non-Arab Asia -- from Indonesia through South-East and South Asia to Central Asia, Iran, and Turkey, which of course is both in Asia and Europe.  There are many predominantly Muslim countries in sub-Saharan Africa, and large minorities of Muslims are to be found on every continent.
 * Kofi Annan — "Secretary-General, addressing Headquarters Seminar on confronting Islamophobia, stresses importance of leadership, two-way integration, dialogue" (7 December 2004)

 * Islam is a religion of success. Unlike Christianity, which has as its main image, in the West at least, a man dying in a devastating, disgraceful, helpless death… Muhammed was not an apparent failure. He was a dazzling success, politically as well as spiritually, and Islam went from strength to strength to strength.
 * Karen Armstrong, "Bill Moyers Interviews Karen Armstrong on NOW", PBS, March 1, 2002.

 * In the hours of its political degradation, Islam has achieved some of its most brilliant spiritual conquests: on two great historical occasions, infidel barbarians have set their feet on the necks of the followers of the Prophet, - the Saljūq Turks in the eleventh and the Mongols in the thirteenth century,- and in each case the conquerors have accepted the religion of the conquered. Unaided also by the temporal power, Muslim missionaries have carried their faith into Central Africa, China and the East India Islands.
 * Thomas Walker Arnold, The Preaching of Islam: a History of the Propagation of the Muslim Faith, 2nd ed. (London: Constable and Co. Ltd, 1913), p. 2.

 * Islam appears to me like a perfect work of architecture. All its parts are harmoniously conceived to complement and support each other; nothing is superfluous and nothing lacking, with the result of an absolute balance and solid composure. Probably this feeling that everything in the teachings and postulates of Islam is "in its proper place" has created the strongest impression on me.
 * Muhammad Asad, Islam at the Crossroads, Preface to the first 1934 edition.

 * Even before accepting the religion of the Arabs, the Turks were a great nation. After accepting the religion of the Arabs, this religion, didn't effect to combine the Arabs, the Persians and Egyptians with the Turks to constitute a nation. (This religion) rather, loosened the national nexus of Turkish nation, got national excitement numb. This was very natural. Because the purpose of the religion founded by Muhammad, over all nations, was to drag to an including Arab national politics.
 * Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, as quoted in Medenî Bilgiler ve M. Kemal Atatürk'ün El Yazıları [Civics and M. Kemal Atatürk's Manuscripts] (1998) by Afet İnan, p. 364

 * Islam is a religion of continuous personal and through disciplined worship.
 * Mahmoud M. Ayoub,

 * Islam does not command narrowmindedness and racial and religious prejudice. It does not make the recognition of merit and virtue, of human benevolence, mercy and love dependent upon and subject to distinctions of religion and race. It teaches us to respect every man who is good, whatever his religion.
 * Abul Kalam Azad, Al-Hilal, Nos. 14-15, Vol. II, April 9-16, 1913, as quoted in Rajmohan Gandhi,

B

 * It is the nature of Islam to dominate, not to be dominated, to impose its law on all nations and to extend its power to the entire planet.
 * Attributed to Hassan Banna by Mitt Romney in No Apology:The Case for American Greatness (March 2, 2010), Page 67, and by the in Terrorism: Muslim Brotherhood.

 * Islam has a total organization of life that is completely different from ours; it embraces simply everything. ... There is a very marked subordination of woman to man; there is a very tightly knit criminal law, indeed, a law regulating all areas of life, that is opposed to our modern ideas about society. One has to have a clear understanding that it is not simply a denomination that can be included in the free realm of a pluralistic society.
 * Benedict XVI, 1997 interview with German journalist Peter Seewald, quoted in "Tough-talking pope has history with Muslims, refuses to give in", The Washington Times (20 September 2006).

 * I often think that woman is more free in Islam than in Christianity. Woman is more protected by Islam than by the faith which preaches Monogamy. In Al-Quran the law about woman is more just and liberal. It is only in the last twenty years that Christian England, has recognized the right of woman to property, while Islam has allowed this right from all times.
 * Annie Besant, The Life and Teachings of Muhammad, Madras, 1932, pp. 25, 26.

 * Islam, from among all religions, best suits the science discoveries and is the most ready to edify souls and force them to abide by justice, kindness and toleration.
 * Gustave Le Bon, The World of Islamic Civilization (La Civilisation des Arabes, 1884).

 * Islam first came before the world as a doubly totalitarian system. It claimed to impose itself on the whole world and it claimed also, by the divinely appointed Muhammadan law, by the principles of the fiqh, to regulate down to the smallest details the whole life of the Islamic community and of every individual believer. ... [T]he study of Muhammadan law (dry and forbidding though it may appear to those who confine themselves to the indispensable study of the fiqh) is of great importance to the world today.
 * , "Islamic Law and Customary Law in French North Africa," Journal of Comparative Legislation and International Law (1950): 65. Fiqh

C

 * At the heart of Islam is its preservation of an integral view of the Universe. Islam - like Buddhism and Hinduism - refuses to separate man and nature, religion and science, mind and matter, and has preserved a metaphysical and unified view of ourselves and the world around us.
 * Charles, Prince of Wales, Islam and the West at the Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies (27 October 1993).

 * There is in Islam a paradox which is perhaps a permanent menace. The great creed born in the desert creates a kind of ecstasy of the very emptiness of its own land, and even, one may say, out of the emptiness of its own theology... A void is made in the heart of Islam which has to be filled up again and again by a mere repetition of the revolution that founded it. There are no sacraments; the only thing that can happen is a sort of Armageddon, as unique as the end of the world; so the Armageddon can only be repeated and the world end again and again. There are no priests; and yet this equality can only breed a multitude if lawless prophets almost as numerous as priests. The very dogma that there is only one Mahomet produces an endless procession of Mahomets.
 * G. K. Chesterton, "Kitchener", (1917) p. 8

 * How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of the Queen; all know how to die; but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome.
 * Winston Churchill, The River War (1899), first edition, Vol. II, p. 248.

D

 * It's almost impossible to say anything against Islam in this country, because you are accused of being racist or Islamophobic.
 * Richard Dawkins, 2008 comment quoted in "Fury over Richard Dawkins's burka jibe as atheist tells of his 'visceral revulsion' at Muslim dress", Daily Mail (10 August 2010)

 * It's tempting to say all religions are bad, and I do say all religions are bad, but it's a worse temptation to say all religions are equally bad because they're not. If you look at the actual impact that different religions have on the world it's quite apparent that at present the most evil religion in the world has to be Islam. It's terribly important to modify that because of course that doesn't mean all Muslims are evil, very far from it. Individual Muslims suffer more from Islam than anyone else. They suffer from the homophobia, the misogyny, the joylessness which is preached by extreme Islam, Isis and the Iranian regime. So it is a major evil in the world, we do have to combat it, but we don't do what Trump did and say all Muslims should be shut out of the country. That's draconian, that's, inhumane and wicked. I am against Islam not least because of the unpleasant effects it has on the lives of Muslims.
 * Richard Dawkins, as quoted in "Richard Dawkins: religious education is crucial for British schoolchildren" by Sarah Knapton, The Telegraph (11 June 2017)

 * Medieval Islam was technologically advanced and open to innovation. It achieved far higher literacy rates than in contemporary Europe; it assimilated the legacy of classical Greek civilization to such a degree that many classical books are now known to us only through Arabic copies. It invented windmills, trigonometry, lateen sails and made major advances in metallurgy, mechanical and chemical engineering and irrigation methods. In the middle-ages, the flow of technology was overwhelmingly from Islam to Europe rather from Europe to Islam. Only after the 1500s did the net direction of flow begin to reverse."
 * Jared Diamond, a world-renowned UCLA sociologist, and physiologist, author of Pulitzer Prize-winning book "Guns, Germs, and Steel.", p. 253.

E

 * “These descriptions are very ugly, it is offensive and an insult to our religion. There is no moderate or immoderate Islam. Islam is Islam and that’s it.”
 * Recep Tayyip Erdoğan,

 * Islam cannot be either ‘moderate’ or ‘not moderate.’ Islam can only be one thing.
 * Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, as quoted in "Erdoğan criticizes Saudi Crown Prince’s ‘moderate Islam’ pledge" in hurriyetdailynews.com (November 9 2017)

 * Islam stands in a long line of Semitic, prophetic religious traditions that share an uncompromising monotheism, and belief in God's revelation, His prophets, ethical responsibility and accountability, and the Day of Judgement. Indeed, Muslims, like Christians and Jews, are the Children of Abraham, since all trace their communities back to him. Islam's historic religious and political relationship to Christendom and Judaism has remained strong throughout history. This interaction has been the source of mutual benefit.
 * John L. Esposito, The Straight Path'', New York/Oxford: Oxford University Press (1st edition), 1988, pp. 3-4.

 * [B]laming Islam is a simple answer, easier and less controversial than re-examining the core political issues and grievances that resonate in much of the Muslim world: the failures of many Muslim governments and societies, some aspects of U.S. foreign policy representing intervention and dominance, Western support for authoritarian regimes, the invasion and occupation of Iraq, or support for Israel's military battles with Hamas in Gaza and Hezbollah in Lebanon.
 * John L. Esposito, Who Speaks For Islam?: What a Billion Muslims Really Think, p. 136-137.

F

 * Neither the sword nor the work of an ecclesiastical order can account for Islam's continuous gains in new following. The phenomenon of growth, therefore, must be attributed in the last analysis to its powers of appeal and ability to meet the spiritual and material needs of peoples adhering to cultures totally alien to the founders, the desert Arabians, but at a level of religious and sociopolitical development familiar to them at the time of their conversion. Continued growth can be explained also in terms of Islam's willingness to tolerate views and practices stemming from alien cultural norms brought into Islam by the converts which a more rigid system of religion would not countenance. Flexibility at this, the crucial stage, of conversion is an important factor contributing to Islam's success. What would ordinarily be deemed heretical at the instance of conversion inevitably drifts or is lured towards orthodoxy. The spread of Islam into Southeast Asia and sub-Saharan Africa presents a vivid example of its dynamism while its ability to survive in areas once dominated by communism is a testimony to its remarkable resilience.
 * , Islam : beliefs and observances, 7th ed - Barron’s Ed. Series,  Inc - Woodbury - New York. 1968 - pp. 268-269.

 * [Islam] is essentially an obstructive, intolerant system, supplying just sufficient good to stand in the way of greater good. It has consecrated despotism; it has consecrated polygamy; it has consecrated slavery.  It has declared war against every other creed; it has claimed to be at least dominant in every land…  When it ceases to have an enemy to contend against, it sinks into sluggish stupidity…  It must have an enemy; if cut off, like Persia, from conflict with the infidel, it finds its substitute in sectarian hatred of brother Moslems… By [only] slightly reforming, it has perpetuated and sanctified all the evils of the eastern world. It has, by its aggressive tenets, brought them into more direct antagonism with the creed and civilization of the west.
 * Edward Augustus Freeman, "The History And Conquests of the Saracens", Kessinger Publishing Co (2004), ISBN 9781417948291, pp. 246-247

 * I would never regard Islam with anything but horror and fear because it is fundamentally committed to conquering the world for Islam.
 * Antony Flew, Did the Resurrection Happen?: A Conversation with Gary Habermas and Antony Flew (2009), p. 88

G

 * I wanted to know the best of one who holds today undisputed sway over the hearts of millions of mankind. … I became more than ever convinced that it was not the sword that won a place for Islam in those days in the scheme of life. It was the rigid simplicity, the utter self-effacement of the Prophet, the scrupulous regard for his pledges, his intense devotion to his friends and followers, his intrepidity, his fearlessness, his absolute trust in God and in his own mission. These and not the sword carried everything before them and surmounted every obstacle.
 * Mahatma Gandhi, published in Young India, 1924. Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi, vol. 29, "My Jail experiences", p. 133.

 * I do regard Islam to be a religion of peace in the same sense as Christianity, Buddhism and Hinduism are.
 * Mahatma Gandhi, Young India, January 20, 1927, in Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi, vol. 32, p. 588.
 * The very word Islam means peace, which is non-violence.
 * Mahatma Gandhi, On Trial (1939), in, Mahatma: Life of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1952), vol. 5, p. 212.

 * But Islam has yet a further service to render to the cause of humanity. It stands after all nearer to the real East than Europe does, and it possesses a magnificent tradition of interracial understanding and co-operation. No other society has such a record of success in uniting in an equality of status, of opportunity, and of endeavour so many and so various races of mankind. ... Islam has still the power to reconcile apparently irreconcilable elements of race and tradition If ever the opposition of the great societies of the East and the West is to be replaced by co-operation, the mediation of Islam is an indispensable condition. In its hands lies very largely the solution of the problem with which Europe is faced in its relations with the East. If they unite, the hope of a peaceful issue is immeasurably enhanced — but if Europe, by rejecting the co operation of Islam, throws it into the arms of its rivals, the issue can only be disastrous for both.
 * Hamilton Alexander Rosskeen Gibb, Whither Islam?: A Study of Modern Movements in the Muslem World, Victor Gollancz Ltd, 1932, p. 379.

 * That his (Muhammad's) reforms enhanced the status of women in general is universally admitted.
 * Hamilton Alexander Rosskeen Gibb, Mohammedanism, London, 1953, p. 33.

 * 'I believe in 'One God and Muhammad is the Prophet of God,' is the simple and invariable profession of Islam. The intellectual image of the Deity has never been degraded by any visible idol; the honours of the Prophet of God have never transgressed the measure of human virtue, and his living precepts have restrained the gratitude of his disciples within the bounds of reason and religion."
 * Edward Gibbon and Simon Ocklay, History of the Saracen Empire, London, 1870, p. 54.

 * Purer than the system of Zoroaster, more liberal than the law of Moses, the religion of Muhammad might seem less inconsistent with reason than the creed of mystery and superstition which, in the seventh century, disgraced the simplicity of the gospels.
 * Edward Gibbon, The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, vol. 5. p. 487.

 * I like Islam, it is consistent [or consequential] idea of religion and open-minded.
 * Kurt Gödel, A Logical Journey: From Gödel to Philosophy by Hao Wang, p. 148, 1996.

H

 * Islam has been built on five [pillars]: testifying that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, establishing the salah (prayer), paying the zakat (obligatory charity), making the hajj (pilgrimage) to the House, and fasting in Ramadhan.
 * Hadith,, 40 Hadith Nawawi, Hadith 3.

 * Mu’adh ibn Jabal reported: I was with the Prophet and we woke up one day and I said, “O Messenger of God, tell me about a deed that will enter me into Paradise and keep me away from the Fire.” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: You have asked about an enormous matter, yet it is easy for one whom God makes it easy. Worship God and do not associate anything with Him, establish the prayer, give the charity, fast the month of Ramadan, and perform pilgrimage to the House.
 * Hadith Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2616 from

 * In Mohammedanism the limited principle of the Jews is expanded into universality and thereby overcome. Here, God is no longer, as with the Asiatics, contemplated as existent in immediately sensuous mode but is apprehended as the one infinite sublime Power beyond all the multiplicity of the world. Mohammedanism is, therefore, in the strictest sense of the world, the religion of sublimity.
 * Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, Philosophy of Mind (quoted by Slavoj Žižek in A Glance into the Archives of Islam, Lacan dot com, 1997).

 * Islam in its origins is just as shady and approximate as those from which it took its borrowings. It makes immense claims for itself, invokes prostrate submission or "surrender" as a maxim to its adherents, and demands deference and respect from nonbelievers into the bargain. There is nothing—absolutely nothing—in its teachings that can even begin to justify such arrogance and presumption.
 * Christopher Hitchens, God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything (2007). See also a video of his reading and an excerpt.

 * You see, it's been our misfortune to have the wrong religion. Why didn't we have the religion of the Japanese, who regard sacrifice for the Fatherland as the highest good? The Mohammedan religion too would have been more compatible to us than Christianity. Why did it have to be Christianity with its meekness and flabbiness?
 * Attributed to Adolf Hitler, as quoted Inside the Third Reich : Memoirs by Albert Speer, p. 115.
 * "...It was in high school...My questions and doubts only multiplied as it became clear to me that the teachings of Islam were impossible to follow in everyday life. Do the faithful exercise free choice or their actions determined by divine will? This existential question tugged me constantly....It soon became clear to me no one could help me with my questions..."
 * Waleed Al-Husseini in The Blasphemer: The Price I Paid for Rejecting Islam, Arcade Publishing 2015.

 * "...here lies the hypocrisy...although never call into question...they conceal extent of their thinking and the persecution they endured. All were hunted down, assassinated, hung or poisoned in the name of Islam. Why do we never learn this? Is Islam so fragile that it might crumble under the slightest criticism? Could God himself be afraid of words and debate?..."
 * Waleed Al-Husseini in The Blasphemer: The Price I Paid for Rejecting Islam, Arcade Publishing 2015.

J

 * "Religion of peace" does not imply that Islam is a paciﬁst religion, that it rejects the use of violence altogether, as either a moral or a metaphysical evil. "Religion of peace" connotes, rather, that Islam can countenance a state of permanent, peaceful coexistence with other nations and peoples who are not Muslims...This position, I shall argue, is no more than the result of an objective application of principles of Islamic jurisprudence which no jurist or activist, medieval or modern, has claimed to reject.
 * Sherman Jackson, "Jihad and the Modern World" (Spring–Summer 2002), Journal of Islamic Law and Culture.

K

 * Even a little knowledge of Islam will show that its religion is not only tolerant of other faiths, but most respectful, and, indeed, fully accepts the divine inspiration of all theistic faiths that came before Islam. It does not only teach tolerance to its followers, but goes a step further and enjoins on them all to create the godly quality of Hilm, that is, tolerance, forbearance, patience, calmness, and forgiveness. It is due to the spirit of tolerance of Islam that even the smallest Christian and Jewish minorities survived and kept all their doctrines during the thousand years of Muslim rule. Nothing like what happened to Muslims in Spain after the Christian conquest has ever happened to a non-Muslim faith in any Islamic dominion.
 * Aga Khan III, Aga Khan III, Selected Speeches and Writings of Sir Sultan Muhammad Shah, Edited by K.K. Aziz, Kegan Paul International, 1997, Vol II, pp 1282.

 * There are many interpretations of Islam within the wider Islamic community, but generally we are instructed to leave the world a better place than it was when we came into it.
 * Aga Khan IV, in an interview with Robert Ivy (FAIA), in Architectural Record (31 August 2001).

 * Islam is the religion of militant individuals who are committed to truth and justice. It is the religion of those who desire freedom and independence. It is the school of those who struggle against imperialism. But the servants of imperialism have presented Islam in a totally different light. They have created in men’s minds a false notion of Islam. The defective version of Islam, which they have presented in the religious teaching institution, is intended to deprive Islam of its vital, revolutionary aspect and to prevent Muslims from arousing themselves in order to gain their freedom, fulfill the ordinances of Islam, and create a government that will secure their happiness and allow them to live lives worthy of human beings.
 * Ayatollah Khomeini, Islam and Revolution, Writings and Declarations of Imam Khomeini, Translated and Annotated by Hamid Algar, Mizan Press, Berkley, pp. 28.

L

 * The first thing that we are calling you to is Islam. The religion of the Unification of God; of freedom from associating partners with Him, and rejection of this; of complete love of Him, the Exalted; of complete submission to His Laws; and of the discarding of all the opinions, orders, theories and religions which contradict with the religion He sent down to His Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Islam is the religion of all the prophets, and makes no distinction between them - peace be upon them all. It is to this religion that we call you; the seal of all the previous religions. It is the religion of Unification of God, sincerity, the best of manners, righteousness, mercy, honour, purity, and piety. It is the religion of showing kindness to others, establishing justice between them, granting them their rights, and defending the oppressed and the persecuted. It is the religion of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil with the hand, tongue and heart. It is the religion of Jihad in the way of Allah so that Allah's Word and religion reign Supreme. And it is the religion of unity and agreement on the obedience to Allah, and total equality between all people, without regarding their colour, sex, or language. It is the religion whose book - the Quran - will remained preserved and unchanged, after the other Divine books and messages have been changed. The Quran is the miracle until the Day of Judgment. Allah has challenged anyone to bring a book like the Quran or even ten verses like it.
 * Osama bin Laden from Full text: bin Laden's 'letter to America'

 * In most Muslim countries Islam is still the ultimate criterion of group identity and loyalty. It is Islam which distinguishes between self and other, between insider and outsider, between brother and stranger.
 * Bernard Lewis, The Political Language of Islam, University Of Chicago Press, 2018, p. 4, ISBN 9780226220154.

 * Islam is one of the world's great religions. Let me be explicit about what I, as a historian of Islam who is not a Muslim, mean by that. Islam has brought comfort and peace of mind to countless millions of men and women. It has given dignity and meaning to drab and impoverished lives. It has taught people of different races to live in brotherhood and people of different creeds to live side by side in reasonable tolerance. It inspired a great civilization in which others besides Muslims lived creative and useful lives and which, by its achievement, enriched the whole world. But Islam, like other religions, has also known periods when it inspired in some of its followers a mood of hatred and violence. It is our misfortune that part, though by no means all or even most, of the Muslim world is now going through such a period, and that much, though again not all, of that hatred is directed against us.
 * Bernard Lewis, "The Roots of Muslim Rage". The Atlantic (September, 1990).

M

 * America needs to understand Islam, because this is the one religion that erases from its society the race problem. Throughout my travels in the Muslim world, I have met, talked to, and even eaten with people who in America would have been considered white—but the white attitude was removed from their minds by the religion of Islam. I have never before seen sincere and true brotherhood practiced by all colors together, irrespective of their color. On this Hajj pilgrimage, what I have seen, and experienced, has forced me to re-arrange much of my thought-patterns previously held, and to toss aside some of my previous conclusions. This was not too difficult for me. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds it. I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth. During the past eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass, and slept in the same bed (or on the same rug)--while praying to the same God--with fellow Muslims, whose eyes were the bluest of blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and whose skin was the whitest of white. And in the words and in the actions in the deeds of the 'white' Muslims, I felt the same sincerity that I felt among the black African Muslims of Nigeria, Sudan, and Ghana. We were truly all the same (brothers)--because their belief in one God had removed the white from their minds, the white from their behavior, and the white from their attitude. I could see from this, that perhaps if white Americans could accept the Oneness of God, then perhaps, too, they could accept in reality the Oneness of Man--and cease to measure, and hinder, and harm others in terms of their 'differences' in color. With racism plaguing America like incurable cancer, the so-called 'Christian' white American heart should be more receptive to a proven solution to such a destructive problem. Perhaps it could be in time to save America from imminent disaster--the same destruction brought upon Germany by racism that eventually destroyed the Germans themselves.
 * Letter from Mecca.

 * I challenge anyone to understand Islam, its spirit, and not to love it. It is a beautiful religion of brotherhood and devotion.
 * Yann Martel, Life of Pi.

 * No other religion in history spread so rapidly as Islam . . . The West has widely believed that this surge of religion was made possible by the sword. But no modern scholar accepts that idea, and the Qur'an is explicit in support of the freedom of conscience."
 * James A. Michener, Islam - The Misunderstood Religion, Readers' Digest (American Edition) May 1955.

 * Islam is a religion that is essentially rationalistic in the widest sense of this term considered etymologically and historically. The definition of rationalism as a system that bases religious beliefs on principles furnished by the reason applies to it exactly . . . It cannot be denied that many doctrines and systems of theology and also many superstitions, from the worship of saints to the use of rosaries and amulets, have become grafted on the main trunk of Muslim creed. But in spite of the rich developments, in every sense of the term, of the teachings of the Prophet, the Quran has invariable kept its place as the fundamental starting point, and the dogma of unity of God has always been proclaimed therein with a grandeur, a majesty, an invariable purity and with a note of sure conviction, which it is hard to find surpassed outside the pale of Islam. This fidelity to the fundamental dogma of the religion, the elemental simplicity of the formula in which it is enunciated, the proof that it gains from the fervid conviction of the missionaries who propagate it, are so many causes to explain the success of Muhammadan missionary efforts. A creed so precise, so stripped of all theological complexities and consequently so accessible to the ordinary understanding might be expected to possess and does indeed possess a marvelous power of winning its way into the consciences of men.
 * Édouard Montet, La Propagande chrétienne et ses adversaires musulmans, conférence faite à Genève et à Nîmes, 1890; quoted by T.W. Arnold in The Preaching of Islam, London, 1913, pp. 413-414.

 * Some, indeed, dream of an Islam in the future, rationalised and regenerate. All this has been tried already, and has miserably failed. The Koran has so encrusted the religion in a hard unyielding casement of ordinances and social laws, that if the shell be broken the life is gone. A rationalistic Islam would be Islam no longer. The contrast between our own faith and Islam is most remarkable. There are in our Scriptures living germs of truth, which accord with civil and religious liberty, and will expand with advancing civilisation. In Islam it is just the reverse. The Koran has no such teaching as with us has abolished polygamy, slavery, and arbitrary divorce, and has elevated woman to her proper place. As a Reformer, Mahomet did advance his people to a certain point, but as a Prophet he left them fixed immovably at that point for all time to come. The tree is of artificial planting. Instead of containing within itself the germ of growth and adaptation to the various requirements of time and clime and circumstance, expanding with the genial sunshine and rain from heaven, it remains the same forced and stunted thing as when first planted some twelve centuries ago.
 * William Muir, Taken from the Rede Lecture he delivered at Cambridge in 1881) Asia. 2d ed., rev. and corrected. Published 1909 by E. Stanford in London. Page 458

N

 * It was the first religion that preached and practiced democracy; for, in the mosque, when the call for prayer is sounded and worshippers are gathered together, the democracy of Islam is embodied five times a day when the peasant and king kneel side by side and proclaim: "God Alone is Great." I have been struck over and over again by this indivisible unity of Islam that makes man instinctively a brother.
 * Sarojini Naidu, Ideals of Islam, Speeches and Writings, Madaras, 1918.

 * Sense of justice is one of the most wonderful ideals of Islam, because as I read in the Qur'an I find those dynamic principles of life, not mystic but practical ethics for the daily conduct of life suited to the whole world.
 * Sarojini Naidu, The Ideals of Islam, 1918, p. 167.

 * All religions basically exhort mankind to be righteous and eschew evil. But Islam goes beyond that. It guides us towards practical ways of achieving righteousness and eliminating evil from our individual and collective lives. Islam takes into account human nature and the complexities of human society. Islam is guidance from the Creator Himself. Therefore, Islam is also called the Deenul-Fitrah (the natural religion of Man).
 * Zakir Naik, in Most Common Questions Asked by the non-Muslims, p. 43

 * Were the books of Islam all to be lost, excepting only the Ihya' (a book written by al-Ghazali), it would suffice to replace them all.
 * , Joseph E. B. Lumbard, Islam, Fundamentalism, and the Betrayal of Tradition: Essays by Western Muslim Scholars, p. 291. ISBN 0941532607.

O

 * History makes it clear, however, that the legend of fanatical Muslims sweeping through the world and forcing Islam at the point of the sword upon conquered races, is one of the most fantastically absurd myths that historians have ever repeated.
 * De Lacy O'Leary, Islam at the Crossroads, K. Paul, Trench, Trubner & Company, Limited, 1923, p. 8. Quoted by in The Qur'anic Foundations and Structure of Muslim Society (1973), p. 35.

P

 * Every national church or religion has established itself by pretending some special mission from God, communicated to certain individuals. The Jews have their Moses; the Christians their Jesus Christ, their apostles and saints; and the Turks their Mahomet; as if the way to God was not open to every man alike. Each of those churches shows certain books, which they call revelation, or the Word of God. The Jews say that their Word of God was given by God to Moses face to face; the Christians say, that their Word of God came by divine inspiration; and the Turks say, that their Word of God (the Koran) was brought by an angel from heaven. Each of those churches accuses the other of unbelief; and, for my own part, I disbelieve them all.
 * Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason (1794).

 * ...the religiosity of Muslims deserves respect. It is impossible not to admire, for example, their fidelity to prayer. The image of believers in Allah (God) who, without caring about time or place, fall to their knees and immerse themselves in prayer remains a model for all those who invoke the true God, in particular for those Christians who, having deserted their magnificent cathedrals, pray only a little or not at all.
 * Pope John Paul II, Vatican City, Relation of the Church with Non-Christian Religions.

Q

 * It is not the intention of Islam to force its beliefs on people, but Islam is not merely ‘belief’. As we have pointed out, Islam is a declaration of the freedom of man from servitude to other men. Thus it strives from the beginning to abolish all those systems and governments which are based on the rule of man over men and the servitude of one human being to another. When Islam releases people from this political pressure and presents to them its spiritual message, appealing to their reason, it gives them complete freedom to accept or not to accept its beliefs.

R

 * If the people of this religion [Islam] are asked about the proof for the soundness of their religion, they flare up, get angry and spill the blood of whoever confronts them with this question. They forbid rational speculation, and strive to kill their adversaries. This is why truth became thoroughly silenced and concealed. ... You claim that the evidentiary miracle is present and available, namely, the Koran. You say: "Whoever denies it, let him produce a similar one." Indeed, we shall produce a thousand similar, from the works of rhetoricians, eloquent speakers and valiant poets, which are more appropriately phrased and state the issues more succinctly. They convey the meaning better and their rhymed prose is in better meter. ... By God what you say astonishes us! You are talking about a work which recounts ancient myths, and which at the same time is full of contradictions and does not contain any useful information or explanation. Then you say: "Produce something like it"?!
 * Attributed to, in: Jennifer Michael Hecht - Doubt: A History: The Great Doubters and Their Legacy of Innovation from Socrates and Jesus to Thomas Jefferson and Emily Dickinson (pg. 227-230) - HarperOne, September 7, 2004, ISBN 9780060097950

 * Given that the majority of Americans have never met a Muslim and know little of Islam makes them vulnerable to a false national narrative about Muslims... Islam calls people to promote peace. Even when someone harms us, Islam teaches, we are to respond to hate with love. Sadly, people of all wisdom traditions fail to live up to their teachings. Rejecting collective blame for the actions of a few, let us work together for a peaceful future based on mutual respect and compassion.  Shariah is a term for Islamic teachings like caring for parents, feeding the hungry and obeying the law of the land in which you live. In the United States, this means obeying the US Constitution. Those who seek to “ban Shariah” are tearing down our constitutional rights. Fourteen states in have passed anti-Muslim bills, adding institutional and structural force to bigotry and taking away the rights of Muslims and Jews to seek court-authorized mediation. Standing for the rights of religious minorities is how we protect the rights we all enjoy.
 * Facts Over Fear Campaign: Releasing 'Islam and Peace' and 'What is Shariah? Countering the false witness against our American Muslim neighbors, Religious News Service, (25 February 2020)

 * Wherever the Mohammedans have had complete sway, wherever the Christians have been unable to resist them by the sword, Christianity has ultimately disappeared. From the hammer of Charles Martel to the sword of Sobieski, Christianity owed its safety in Europe to the fact that it was able to show that it could and would fight as well as the Mohammedan aggressor.
 * Theodore Roosevelt, Fear God and Take Your Own Part (1916), p. 70

 * For a vast number of "believing" Muslim men, "Islam" stands, in a jumbled, half-examined way, not only for the fear of God -- the fear more than the love, one suspects -- but also for a cluster of customs, opinions and prejudices that include their dietary practices; the sequestration or near-sequestration of "their" women; the sermons delivered by their mullahs of choice; a loathing of modern society in general, riddled as it is with music, godlessness and sex; and a more particularized loathing (and fear) of the prospect that their own immediate surroundings could be taken over -- "Westoxicated" -- by the liberal Western-style way of life.
 * Salman Rushdie, "Yes, This Is About Islam", November, 2001

 * combines the characteristics of the French Revolution with those of the rise of Islam. … Among religions, Bolshevism is to be reckoned with Mohammedanism rather than with Christianity and Buddhism. Christianity and Buddhism are primarily personal religions, with mystical doctrines and a love of contemplation. Mohammedanism and Bolshevism are practical, social, unspiritual, concerned to win the empire of the world.
 * Bertrand Russell, "The Practice and Theory of Bolshevism", (London, 1920), pp. 5, 114-115

 * The beliefs appropriate to the impulse of aggression may be seen in Bernhardi, or in the early Mohammedan conquerors, or, in full perfection, in the Book of Joshua. There is first of all a conviction of the superior excellence of one's own group, a certainty that they are in some sense the chosen people. This justifies the feeling that only the good and evil of one's own group is of real importance, and that the rest of the world is to be regarded merely as material for the triumph or salvation of the higher race. In modern politics this attitude is embodied in imperialism.
 * Bertrand Russell, Why men fight: a Method of Abolishing the International Duel.

 * It was the duty of the faithful to conquer as much of the world as possible for Islam. ... The Arabs, although they conquered a great part of the world in the name of a new religion were not a very religious race; the motive of their conquests was plunder and wealth rather than religion.
 * Bertrand Russell, The History of Western Philosophy, Book Two, Part 2, Chapter X: Mohammedan Culture

 * From India to Spain, the brilliant civilization of Islam flourished. What was lost to Christendom at this time was not lost to civilization, but quite the contrary… To us it seems that West-European civilization is civilization; but this is a narrow view."
 * Bertrand Russell, History of Western Philosophy, London, 1948, p. 419]

S

 * Islam was not a torch, as has been claimed, but an extinguisher. Conceived in a barbarous brain for the use of a barbarous people, it was — and it remains — incapable of adapting itself to civilization. Wherever it has dominated, it has broken the impulse towards progress and checked the evolution of society.
 * Islam is Christianity adapted to Arab mentality, or, more exactly, it is all that the unimaginative brain of a Bedouin, obstinately faithful to ancestral practices, has been able to assimilate of the Christian doctrines. Lacking the gift of imagination, the Bedouin copies, and in copying he distorts the original. Thus Musulman law is only the Roman Code revised and corrected by Arabs; in the same way Musulman science is nothing but Greek science interpreted by the Arab brain; and again, Musulman architecture is merely a distorted imitation of the Byzantine style.
 * , L’islam et la psychologie du musulman (1923).

 * Islam is very different, being ferociously intolerant. What I may call Manifold Monotheism becomes in the minds of very simple folk an absurdly polytheistic idolatry, just as European peasants not only worship Saints and the Virgin as Gods, but will fight fanatically for their faith in the ugly little black doll who is the Virgin of their own Church against the black doll of the next village. When the Arabs had run this sort of idolatry to such extremes [that] they did this without black dolls and worshipped any stone that looked funny, Mahomet rose up at the risk of his life and insulted the stones shockingly, declaring that there is only one God, Allah, the glorious, the great, and pinning himself to the second Commandment that no man should dare make a graven image of Allah or any of his creatures. And there was to be no nonsense about toleration. You accepted Allah or you had your throat cut by someone who did accept him, and who went to Paradise for having sent you to Hell.
 * George Bernard Shaw, in a letter to the Reverend Ensor Walters (1933), as quoted in "Bernard Shaw : Collected Letters, 1926-1950" (1988), p. 322-3

 * The rise of Islam is perhaps the most amazing event in human history. Springing from a land and a people like previously negligible, Islam spread within a century over half the earth, shattering great empires, overthrowing long established religions, remolding the souls of races, and building up a whole new world - world of Islam. The closer we examine this development the more extraordinary does it appear. The other great religions won their way slowly, by painful struggle and finally triumphed with the aid of powerful monarchs who converted to the new faith. Christianity had its Constantine, Buddhism its Asoka, and Zoroastrianism its Cyrus, each lending to his chosen cult the mighty force of secular authority. Not so Islam. Arising in a desert land sparsely inhabited by a nomad race previously undistinguished in human annals, Islam sallied forth on its great adventure with the slenderest human backing and against the heaviest material odds. Yet Islam triumphed with seemingly miraculous ease, and a couple of generations saw the Fiery Crescent borne victorious from the Pyrenees to the Himalayas and from the desert of Central Asia to the deserts of Central Africa.
 * quoted in The New World of Islam, Charles Scribner's Sons, p.3.

 * The trouble with Islam is deeply rooted in its teachings. Islam is not only a religion. Islam (is) also a political ideology that preaches violence and applies its agenda by force.
 * Wafa Sultan, cited in: N. C. Munson, Noel Carroll. If You Can Keep It, Allen-Ayers Books, 2010, p. 215

 * Islam has never been misunderstood. Islam is the problem. But no one is stating the truth. No one is taking a hard look at the root of terrorism which is the brain washing machine called Islam. Islam is not up to me, is not up to any Muslim – man or woman. Islam is exactly what the prophet Muhammad did and said. In order to understand Islam you have to read the biography of Muhammad. It is very traumatising. It is very shocking. He married his second wife when she was six years old. He was over fifty. [...] His third wife was Sophia. She was a Jewish woman. It was well documented, well written in our school books that he attacked her tribe. He killed her father, her brother, and her husband. At the same day, he slept with her. That's what I call Islam.
 * Wafa Sultan, speech at Restoration Weekend, Palm Beach, Florida 2007

 * You need to understand that Islam is the problem. I am sick and tired of people here in the West asking me to soften my message. I am sick and tired of people asking me, "Are you trying to change 1.3 billion people?" Yes, I am trying!
 * Wafa Sultan, speech at Restoration Weekend, 2007

T

 * It is easy to understand why this reformed Judaism spread so swiftly over Africa and Asia. The African and Syrian doctors had substituted abstruse metaphysical dogmas for the religion of Christ : they tried to combat the licentiousness of the age by setting forth the celestial merit of celibacy and the angelic excellence of virginity — seclusion from the world was the road of holiness, dirt was the characteristic of monkish sanctity — the people were practically polytheists, worshipping a crowd of martyrs, saints and angels; the upper classes were effeminate and corrupt, the middle classes oppressed by taxation, the slaves without hope for the present or the future. As with the besom of God, Islam swept away this mass of corruption and superstition. It was a revolt against empty theological polemics; it was a masculine protest against the exaltation of celibacy as a crown of piety. It brought out the fundamental dogmas of religion — the unity and greatness of God, that He is merciful and righteous, that He claims obedience to His will, resignation and faith. It proclaimed the responsibility of man, a future life, a day of judgment, and stern retribution to fall upon the wicked; and enforced the duties of prayer, almsgiving, fasting and benevolence. It thrust aside the artificial virtues, the religious frauds and follies, the perverted moral sentiments, and the verbal subtleties of theological disputants. It replaced monkishness by manliness. It gave hope to the slave, brotherhood to mankind, and recognition to the fundamental facts of human nature.
 * , paper read before the Church Congress at Wolverhampton, Oct. 7, 1887. Quoted by Thomas Walker Arnold, in The Preaching of Islam:, pp. 71-72

 * The extinction of race consciousness as between Muslims is one of the outstanding moral achievements of Islam, and in the contemporary world there is, as it happens, a crying need for the propagation of this Islamic virtue.
 * Arnold Joseph Toynbee, Civilization on Trial, Oxford University Press, 1948, p. 205.

V

 * Your religion, although it has some good points, such as worship of the great Being, and the necessity of being just and charitable, is otherwise nothing but a rehash of Judaism and a tedious collection of fairy tales.
 * Voltaire, Reason in The Philosophical Dictionary selected and translated by H.I. Woolf (1924)

W

 * I am not a Muslim in the usual sense, though I hope I am a Muslim as "one surrendered to God", but I believe that embedded in the Quran and other expressions of the Islamic vision are vast stores of divine truth from which I and other occidentals have still much to learn, and Islam is certainly a strong contender for the supplying of the basic framework of the one religion of the future.
 * W. Montgomery Watt, Islam and Christianity Today: A Contribution to Dialogue, Routledge Library Editions, 1983, p. ix.

 * The Islamic teachings have left great traditions for equitable and gentle dealings and behavior, and inspire people with nobility and tolerance. These are human teachings of the highest order and at the same time practicable. These teachings brought into existence a society in which hard-heartedness and collective oppression and injustice were the least as compared with all other societies preceding it….Islam is replete with gentleness, courtesy, and fraternity.”
 * H. G. Wells, The Outline of History, London, 1920.

 * From a new angle and with a fresh vigour, Islam took up that systematic development of positive knowledge which the Greeks had begun and relinquished. If the Greek was the father, then the Arab was the foster-father of the scientific method of dealing with reality, that is to say, by absolute frankness, the utmost simplicity of statement and explanation, exact record and exhaustive criticism. Through the Arabs it was, and not by the Latin route, that the modem world received that gift of light and power.
 * H. G. Wells, The Outline of History, London, 1920.

 * Islam is much more than a formal religion: it is an integral way of life. In many ways it is a more determining factor in the experience of its followers than any other world religion. The Muslim ("one who submits") lives face to face with God at all times and will introduce no separation between his life and his religion, his politics and his faith. With its strong emphasis on the brotherhood of men cooperating to fulfill the will of God, Islam has become one of the most influential religions in the world today.
 * John Alden Williams, Islam, George Braziller, 1962.

Quran

 * The Quran on Wikisource

 * And establish prayers, give obligatory charity, and whatever good deeds you send ahead for yourselves; you shall find it with God. Surely, God is All-Seeing of what you do.
 * Quran 2:110

 * And this was the legacy that Abraham left to his sons, and so did Jacob; "Oh my sons! God had chosen the religion for you; so die not unless in the Faith of Islam."
 * Quran 2:132

 * Say: "We believe in God, and in what has been revealed to us and what was revealed to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and in (scriptures) given to Moses, Jesus, and the prophets, from their Lord. We make no distinction between one and another among them, and to God do we bow our will." If anyone desires a religion other than Islam, never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of distressed ones.
 * Quran 3:84-85

 * Forbidden to you (for food) are: dead meat, blood, the flesh of swine, and that on which hath been invoked the name of other than Allah; that which hath been killed by strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall, or by being gored to death; that which hath been (partly) eaten by a wild animal; unless ye are able to slaughter it (in due form); that which is sacrificed on stone (altars); (forbidden) also is the division (of meat) by raffling with arrows: that is impiety. This day have those who reject faith given up all hope of your religion: yet fear them not but fear Me. This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. But if any is forced by hunger, with no inclination to transgression, Allah is indeed Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
 * Quran 5:3

 * For this reason We prescribed for the Children of Israel that whoever kills a person, unless it be for man-slaughter or for mischief in the land, it is as though he had killed all men. And whoever saves a life, it is as though he had saved the lives of all men. And certainly Our messengers came to them with clear arguments, but even after that many of them commit excesses in the land.
 * Quran 5:32

 * Indeed, I am God. There is no deity except Me, so worship Me and establish prayer for My remembrance. I am about to make it manifest -- so that every soul may be rewarded as it strives. So do not let one avert you from it who does not believe in it and follows his desire, for you [then] would perish.
 * Quran 20:14-16

 * O ye who believe ! bow down and adore, and serve your Lord, and do well, that ye may prosper; and strive hard for God, as is His due. He has elected you, and has not put upon you any hindrance by your religion, — the faith of your father Abraham. He has named you Muslims before and in this (book) that the Apostle may be a witness against you, and that ye may be witnesses against men. Be ye then steadfast in prayer, and give alms, and hold fast by God; He is your Sovereign, and an excellent Sovereign, and an excellent Helper !
 * Quran 22:77-78

 * God forbids you not respecting those who fight you not for religion, nor drive you forth from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly. Surely God loves the doers of justice. God forbids you only respecting those who fight you for religion, and drive you forth from your homes and help in your expulsion, that you make friends of them; and whoever makes friends of them, these are the wrongdoers.
 * Quran 60:8-9

title: Islam


text:
Wikiquote talk:Vandalism in progress

Scope of vandalism reporting
Are we supposed to report each and every incidence of vandalism? I've only bothered to list them here if they are especially obnoxious repeat offenders, because we can get many incidents in any given week of one-time vandalisms from different IPs. Reporting every one seems like it would fill up the VIP page without any real benefit, and also adds to the complexity of the anti-vandalism work. — Jeff Q (talk) 13:14, 12 July 2005 (UTC)

Sorry for delay, I missed your proposal somehow ;( I don't think all of use need to report all vandalism. In my opinion vandalism which would be reported here are
 * all vandalism reported by non-sysop users, when they would like a sysop to pay attention.
 * oscinating and therefore attention needed vandalism. Like AP in early days - to grasp his or her edit pattern.
 * vandalism a sysop need community voice or he or she would like to the community aware in advance, like the latest Kalki's submission (in other words, "I'll block user:XX unless he doesn't stop his activity" type note")

By the way this page is grown - we need to create an archive or could remove the former entries? --Aphaia 20:30, 16 September 2005 (UTC)

 * I've done some work, however I want to get opinions (I'm asking on the general discussion page so more people'll see it) about archiving. 68.39.174.238 06:37, 26 February 2006 (UTC)

Archived
In a fit of archival, I've archived off everything from 2005 into it's own archive, and everything through August 2006 into it's own archive. Essjay ( Talk )  03:41, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

Bug in the Vandal template
It looks like there is a problem if the username has a space in it, as in, where the links to the page moves and the block log are wrong.--Collingwood (talk) 23:15, 14 March 2012 (UTC)
 * ✅ URL encoding in the template to accommodate names with spaces. I can't do anything about miscapitalized names. (Cf. User:Major Minor.) ~ Ningauble (talk) 13:11, 15 March 2012 (UTC)

Archive?
Hello. Can the old reports be archived so it's kept clean for users and administrators to report new incidents? Thanks! -- MarcoAurelio (talk) 11:06, 20 August 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. ~ riley  ( talk  ) 18:02, 7 January 2020 (UTC)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Wikiquote talk:Vandalism in progress


text:
User:Jareha

See here: Wikipedia:User:Jareha.

title: User:Jareha


text:
User talk:213.243.155.119

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 14:13, 12 July 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:213.243.155.119


text:
User talk:193.119.197.4

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 14:29, 12 July 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:193.119.197.4


text:
Talk:Highlander (Movies)

Highlander is the best film EVER!

 * "That's great, just great! He is there, they're there, we are here... Nobody's anywhere! - Richie Ryan (On the 23'th episode - "The Watchers")

title: Talk:Highlander (Movies)


text: Category:Sexologists

title: Category:Sexologists


text:
User:Ђорђе Д. Божовић~enwikiquote

Hello! You may look at my user page at English Wikipedia. Thank you!

title: User:Ђорђе Д. Божовић~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Ђорђе Д. Божовић~enwikiquote

By the way we have alread Serbian proverbs. I am not familiar with Slavic languages: could you please let me know what is differences between two, and also your opinion if they should exist pararell or should be merged? --Aphaia 17:32, 12 July 2005 (UTC)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Ђорђе Д. Божовић. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Ђорђе Д. Божовић~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:39, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 06:01, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Ђорђе Д. Божовић~enwikiquote


text:
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is a series of comic books by Jhonen Vasquez. The main character, Johnny (a.k.a. Nny) cages random people in his basement and mutilates them, all to get blood for a wall in his house supposedly holding back a monster. Between (as well as during) the many graphic murders, the protagonist offers many comments of a philosophical and critical bent man.

From the Comic (7 volumes)
(Note: Every exclamation mark was actually used in the comic. Vasquez is fond of multiple exclamation marks.)

Johnny

 * "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BACTINE!!"
 * volume 1, his first line in the comic

 * "Nothing quite brings out the zest for life in a person like the thought of their impending death. I see by the looks of you that you understand."
 * said to Squee when they first meet.

 * Hmm? What's that Shmee? Mm, Hmm. Yeeess. Hmm? Yeah. Really? Uh, Huh. Okaay. What? Hmm. Well FUCK YOU MR. BEAR!!! You speak LIES!!! LIIIIES!!! Stuffed with pure venom, you vile lint infested bastard!! How many more, like you, are there?!! How many more?!!! You can't even imagine the things I've endured!! And always at the hands of shit like you!!! You don't know the truth!!!
 * to Squee's teddy bear, Shmee.

 * "Hey, sorry about the window, but I noticed it was locked. I don't suggest you ever lock it again."
 * to Squee

 * "Two nights ago, I was taking a walk at night, and this little chihuahua started following me!!! GODDAMMIT!! IT KNEW!! I ran, and finally lost it, and made it home!!! BUT IT KNEW!! IT KNEWWWW!! Did the DOG SEND YOU?!"
 * to a man surveying people about the recent murders

 * "I was just drawing a comic; Happy Noodle Boy. It's really popular with the homeless insane."
 * to surveyor

 * "Whether in a suit, or in a loincloth, people are ignorant little thorns cutting into one another."
 * in response to one of the surveyor's questions

 * "Any pile of stunted growth unaware that entertainment is just that and nothing more, deserves to doom themselves to some dank cell, somewhere, for having been so stupid!! Movies, books, T.V., music - They're all just entertainment, not guidebooks for damning yourself!"
 * in response to one of the surveyor's questions

 * "I never drank her blood! Never! But I needed it! You see!! It changes color when it dries! It NEVER stays! I HAVE to keep the wall wet!"
 * in response to one of the surveyor's questions

 * "Wacky!? What the hell kind of word is that? WACKY!? I HATE that word!! Fewer words are as excruciatingly stupid!!! And used in description of me!! FOOK!"
 * at a local Taco Hell

 * "Without fail!! EVERY time I leave my house, it's as if I've given up my every right to be left alone, or treated with respect!!! You flies with your unyielding little minds!!! You think my difference from you is an excuse to 'comment' on me, as if I were on DISPLAY for you!!!"
 * at a local Taco Hell

 * "Dear Die-ary, today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender. I'm wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me."
 * writing in diary at the end of first comic

 * "Think of that sensation as reassurance that you are not dead yet."
 * to a victim (Edgar Vargas) before his death

 * "Trust me, I know what self-loathing is, but to kill myself? That would put a damper on my search for answers. Not at all productive."

 * "I can't let you go. We've begun something lovely, and, as with all things that start, it, inevitably, ends! The beginning is always so fine!! But decay soon follows. A degeneration into the tired old situation. The rot sets in. This way, there is only the beauty of the start!"
 * trying to convince Devi to let him murder her

 * "The world would be so much nicer if people only used guns on themselves."

 * "Todd? I like Squee better."
 * To Squee, after smacking a molester over the head with a broken pipe

 * "Well, I just don't want you to think that this piece of shit is anything other than a pathetic, human defect. Nothing more. Not a monster, not a bogeyman. Nothing but another reason to feel better about yourself. Understand that it's just a person - not worth devoting any nightmares to."
 * to Squee, after saving him from a pedophile

 * "You flaw. At least I'm under the delusion of doing something productive."
 * to the pedophile, before killing him

 * "Um, well, you better get going, it's Tuesday, and you know what that means - U.F.O.'s!! (runs)"

 * "I've relinquished control of my insanity."

 * Johnny "Is this milk still good?!!"
 * Victim "Huh?! *sip* Uh...yeah."
 * Johnny "THIS LETTUCE! HOW CRISP IS IT? HOW CRISP GODDAMMIT?!
 * Victim "It's Fine!"
 * Johnny "THESE FUDGE-POPS! FREEZER BURN?! FREEZER BURN?!"
 * Victim "umm.."
 * Johnny "EAT THE FUCKIN' WEENIE!!!"
 * Victim "mmph... It tastes okay."
 * Johnny "Whew! Thanks. I haven't cleaned my fridge out in awhile, and well... You know.

 * "We think we are so great in our protests...but we just become the bitter offspring of what we oppose. We become prisoners in our own cages. We begin to speak in badly constructed melodramatic prose! OH, RAGING HORROR!! Make this stop!!"

 * "I wish... I wish someone would just switch me off and... fix me."

 * "Yes, yes, yes. I'm the one that's been killing all those people. But I'm also the creative force behind Happy Noodle Boy, so forgive me and shut up."

 * "Killing someone who's bleeding to death. Fff...fuck, you people...you...how stupid you are. Resorting to the same old, monkey brutality, afraid to look up from your bloody dicks. Afraid of transcendence. Hey...your head looks like a potato. And how stupid was I? I, actually paid attention to you! Devoted precious thought to it. God...I used to love the noises I heard in my head. Hhh...I never should've left my room...my room, out there, I almost remember it. It's gone now...along with everything else...vanishing. Heh...potato."
 * to Krik, while bleeding to death

 * "This isn't pleasant... I'd rather not be dead... Don't want to die... Don't... Geez... This is worse than goth poetry... Agg..."

 * "No more stars... no... clouds... nothing... hsssss... It's such an easy thing to say you hate something... so easy to hate... what a piece of shit I am... I ca...can't believe I went the easy way... I thought I knew... I wish I knew something... anything. Ehhh... Actually... your head looks more like a reject jellybean."
 * to Krik, while dying

 * "Dear Diary, I seem to be dead."

 * "I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life."
 * to God

 * "Do you have ANY idea what's going on down there?!! Hideous things! People are suffering, and people like...well...ME, heh, are running around!! Suicide, genocide!! People are killing MOOSE!! You buy a video game system, and a better one comes out in a month!!! Powdered eggs?!!! Self esteem is so low, girls are buyin wonder bras!!! Do you see!? DO YOU?"
 * to God

 * "You know, that fat little lawn gnome of a God wouldn't answer some easy questions!!! I'm criminally insane - I don't know what HIS reason is for being SO FUCKED UP!!"

 * "I wonder if you can kill the Devil."

 * "It's okay! I'm alright! I think my spine has exploded, but I'm fine."

 * "Shit! This is awful. At least alive there were nice people mixed in with the social maggots."
 * on Hell

 * "Damn! Hell makes a yummy bagel."

 * "You people!! Shit!! You're all idiots!! I admit to being weak and catering to some minor transgression or two, but this place is sick. But I won't let myself give the issue respect by addressing it any furth... YOU STINK!!!! Focusing on the mundane! Money!! Fashion!! Cream cheese!! You're in Hell and you're too stupid to know it!"
 * to the denizens of Hell

 * "A cheerleader! PURE EVIL!!"
 * on Señor Satan's second form

 * "I wonder if I'm still crazy. Go find a cheerleader and saw her legs off. OKAY, that answers that."

 * "I detest sleep. I've got better things to do. Besides, I find it frightening - to awaken and be unsure of everything you remember about life not being just part of a dream. Waking means I've slept, and sleep dissolves what certainty I have left."

 * "Funny thing is, Pinocchio's a real boy now but his wiring's all fucked up."

 * "Either my hair burned off in hell, or I sleep-shaved it during a really stupid dream."

 * "Does light even EXIST when the refrigerator door is shut!?"

 * "You know that feeling you get? The one where you just know you're going to projectile vomit out of every orifice? I feel that right now. I want you away. Leave me to my vomit."
 * to Jimmy

 * "Imagine a sculptor being confronted by a stranger, who, as it turns out, confesses to revere our sculptor. Imagine the flattery known to anybody who is told they've inspired some noble aspiration in somebody. The student then presents our sculptor with a work fashioned after the sculptor's own style - a likeness of the student himself. It is a monstrosity! A fucking mess. Even worse, is that our artist sees that this piece of shit before him is a more reasonable facsimile of his own work than he'd like to think. You fucking idiot!! Admire me?!! You shit!!! I'm the villain in this fucking story!"
 * to Jimmy

 * "Just because we've similar interests does not guarantee you're going to like me! My foot in your ass is a good example of that. My delusionary hell does not agree with yours!!"
 * to Jimmy

 * "And though this gets me no absolution, I WOULD NEVER DO WHAT YOU DID TO THAT GIRL!! YOU ABOMINATION OF MENTAL SUBVERSION!! OH, LOOK!! AN ORIFICE. HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING FUCKED WITH STEEL?!!"
 * to Jimmy

 * "As you may already know, I tried to kill you. I see how that could be construed as a bad thing, but the part that understands that is not the one running things in my little world."
 * recording, played to Devi over the phone

 * "I've excluded happiness as one of those possibilities we seek for ourselves. Oh, I still want it, but that's beside the point. Contentment - they say it's the ultimate, but I can't even wish for that. I don't even want the desire to be content. I can only hope for silence."
 * recording, played to Devi over the phone

 * "I like you immensely, Devi. And to prove it, I shall obliterate all of my affection and interest for you. Just like before, but different. I cannot hurt what I do not acknowledge. I don't know of anyone that I love, or of anyone that loves me, but I give you what I can. I give my nothing."
 * recording, played to Devi over the phone

 * "I know forgiveness is out of the question. I just ask for what we all ask of the people we respect - that the thought of me does not compel you to violent spasms of projectile vomiting."
 * recording, played to Devi over the phone

 * "Kill my stomach if I'm hungry! Shut off my want if I'm lonely! Tear off my genitals if I'm aroused!! Excess!!! So much excess!! It's so much superfluous nonsense, and I want nothing to do with it if I can help it!!!"

 * "It's a frightening world to be alone in."
 * to Squee

 * "It must be nice to still have the opportunity to save the cohesion of your pretty mind. The best some people can hope for is to better manage their damage."
 * to Squee

 * "Dear Die-ary, the passions that drive us should be the ones we respect and admire. To feel contempt for one's own motivations is a vulgar thing. Too often, it seems, I've succumbed to less-than admirable compulsions, driven by this furiously reprehensible machine of mine. So many things inside that I can do without - desires and urges and what not. So extraneous. By the time I write in this book again, I hope to be as cold as the moon that lights this page."

 * "Such amusing fiction, these stories they tell. It always comes to this. If they really had a desire to live, they would've been more aware of how easy it is to die, would've chosen their actions more wisely. In these moments, you can tell they're not regretting having hurt you. They regret doing it to your face. They get so loud. They make so much noise. I try to wait until I'm out of the room before I start laughing... A blur... of... sweating... screaming... human... drama... but, everyonce in a while, they say things that sound like words. They make me think about what I'm doing. The noises make me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that... sometimes... I wonder... why I don't just get myself a pair of earplugs."
 * on his victims and their begging as he murders them

 * "Dear Die-ary, there's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."
 * volume 7, his final line in the comic
 * "Don't disturb me at home...I'm very busy!"
 * "Try the stew...it's delicious" (from Squee = Dreamtime)
 * (from Squee's Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors, his final line in the comic)

 * "I love children, they're so sweet and stay crunchy in milk"

 * "Why are people so... unpleasant? Honestly, it's so difficult to truly care about so many things without first knowing the answers to some of the most fundamental, mind ravaging questions! How can one possibly respect the existence of something, people in this case, when that something seems to defy respect? They do such trivial things, and find amusement, even up to 'so-called' maturity, in the incessant mistreatment of their own kind."

Happy Noodle Boy
Happy Noodle Boy is a comic Nny draws in his spare time. The main character is a hideous stick figure that spouts garbage and bewilders everyone he meets. He dies a lot.

 * "These hands!! I can't get them off my wrists!!"

 * "Squeeze my nub!"

 * "Now you see what my goiter can do to your follicles!"

 * "I am wiggling my leg! Witness my leg!"

 * "NIPPLES!! I HAVE NO NIPPLES!!!"

 * "Clutch my testes, bloody squirrel humpers!!"

 * "Cease your flatulent winds and hear my mind-numbing expulsions of wicked noise! Grr!! Cheese!!!"

 * "I have powers pinto beans can only dream of!"

 * "Everybody! Say it with me as I wiggle!! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Look David Hasselhoff can fly!!"

 * "Those kids are after me lucky charms!! Must get to my car and escape! Shit! Speed lines are chasing me!!"

 * "Crackers! Crackers! But, no squeezy cheese!! You've broken my secret elbow!"

 * "Holy pigshit, Batman!"

 * "Oh, the horror!! The funky horror!!"

 * "Whoopee, and all that shit!!"

 * "Stop with the mooing you damned chihuahua!"

 * "Accept my heartwarming gift of tree scratchies!!!"

 * "Moo! Moo!! Mooo!!! I'm voodoo cursing you!!"

 * "Goobers or Raisinets?! Goobers or Raisinets?!! Squeak once for yes!! Who has stolen my cheese!! Answer me, or don't!!"

Happy Noodle Boy: "Je suis un tres grande pomme de terre! (I am a very large potato!)" Squirrel: "Mange poisson avec moi (Eat fish with me)"
 * Note: "Then, so as to anger American audiences, 10 minutes of french dialogue with subtitles ensue, guaranteeing limited theatrical release."

 * "Pssst, lady, c'mere and drool on my face."

 * "The monkey, he see me, but me don't see da monkey. He punch me in da head!! Head punchin' monkey!! Skeetos drinked my head juice!! Corn!!"

 * "I won't leave you!!! You is my bruddah!! BLOOOGH!!! I won't forget you!! I do mighty kung-fu kick for you!!!"

 * "I am like a flying potato!! Bow down!! Or I will unleash my zoinky army of surly crack-babies!!"

 * "I am going to fly into your butt!! Prepare all asses for vicious entry!!"

 * "End this pathetic deception! I know you're hiding martians in your head!! Gimme them martians! I am going to put butter on them!!"

 * "Otan jiyou bi o me detou gozaimasu!! [webmaster's note: If anyone can tell me what that means, there will be warm offerings of tree scratchies in it for you. Thank you.]"
 * editor's note: it means "Happy Birthday!" in Japanese. Wheres my warm offerings of tree scratchies?!?!!?

 * "You think, but you're not plywood."

 * (Points at a dead dog) "My god!! You're beautiful!!"

 * "You have invoked an evil older than man!! Older than croutons!!"

 * "MMMM MONKEYYZ"

The Cops
Several times, police officers try to subdue Happy Noodle Boy. Their dialog is almost as stupid and meaningless as his.

 * "You insane son of a bitch! You just ruined a perfectly good baby! I yell!"
 * policeman, after Happy Noodle Boy throws a baby off a cliff

 * "I am the policeman who punches heads!! Now move along you insane freak."
 * policeman, to Happy Noodle Boy

 * "Hey you! Stop eating grass!! This isn't some kind of grass eating place where you can eat grass!! Hear me!! I am da law!!"
 * policewoman, to Happy Noodle Boy

 * "You fucking lunatic!! Stop!! Don't make me shoot your groin!!"
 * policewoman, to Happy Noodle Boy

Squee
Squee is Johnny's next door neighbor, a little boy who is terrified of pretty much everything. His mother is often too doped out on pills to notice him, and his father thinks of him as nothing more than a mistake. Occasionally, and especially in their last scene together, Johnny seems to consider himself a big brother to Squee. Admittedly, a mass murdering, psychopathic big brother.

 * "Let's go to my room, Shmee. We'll hide under the blankets and maybe fall asleep before we die."

 * "Squee!"
 * The high, squeaky sound made whenever Squee is frightened.

 * "No, you're wrong, Shmee. They aren't bad people. They love me. They don't really mean it when they tell me to get kidnapped."
 * Contradicting Shmee on the bear's opinion on Squee's parents.

 * "Yay!! I’m home and I wasn’t attacked by that squirrel!"

 * "So, are you gonna chop me up and put me in the garbage now? Because Shmee tells me you're a bad guy. He says this is a bad place to be. Please don't chop me up."

 * "Buy me or I'll die!"
 * From the front cover of "New and improved Squee!"

 * "NOOOO!! I DON'T WANT TO EAT NO TOASTED SOULS OF THE DAMNED!!!!"

 * Squee: "Are there other kids here?" (his final line in the comic)

 * Doctor: "Yes, but I wouldn't get too close to them!"

 * Doctor (offscreen to Squee): "Hey kid, don't turn your head or your brain will melt!" (final line in the comic)

 * "Well... it beats a lobotomy!"
 * On a one sheet artwork, showing Squee hiding out in Pepito's home

 * "Um... Mary Thomas said I have cooties. Those are bad."

 * "Nooo... setting people on fire is wrong. Hee hee. You're silly, Shmee."

Squee's father

 * "Your presence tires me."
 * to Squee

 * "Do you know what it's like to be trapped into a life you never planned on having?"
 * to Squee

 * "I haven't smiled once since you were born."
 * to Squee

 * "You ruined my life!"
 * to Squee

Squee's mother

 * "Mommy's ignoring you honey. Go bother your father, he's in his study."
 * to Squee

 * "I can't hear you honey."
 * to Squee

Squee's grand father

 * "Time's up boy!!Next time I see you, you will be a lot smaller and coming out of my other end!"
 * (Note from author): Okay, even I admit how disgusting that was.

Pepito

 * "My dog's name is Woofles!" (concluding his speech on armagedon)

 * "Yeayyy... see you tommorow, Squee!"

 * "Stand back amigo, this is a job for the ANTICHRIST!"
 * to Squee before bringing doom upon his bullying classmates

Devi
Devi is a girl that Nny once managed to date. Everything was going wonderful up until they were about to make out, and Nny suddenly decided he had to kill her to preserve the moment. Consequently, she beat the living shit out of him and ran, while Nny stayed put bleeding on the floor.

 * "Nny... It felt like such a good thing with him. Have you ever hated someone for making you like them - like them so much... and then wish they would die?"

 * "You know what's worse than hiding from what scares you?!? Do you?! I'll tell you-- it's having good things pass you by because you're too busy cringing in idiot terror, hiding someplace where all you can do is dwell on shit!!"
 * to Johnny over the phone

 * "Sigh... It's so pretty when you're looking down on it."
 * to Johnny, while referring to the town below on their date

Psycho Doughboy and Mr. Eff
Two styrofoam cutouts that live in Johnny's house. At first they can only talk; halfway through the series they develop the ability to move, before being destroyed by their "master", the monster in Johnny's wall. They are often confused, as they look almost exactly alike.

Psycho Doughboy

 * "You see, he's a bit upset just now. None too pleased with the turn of events. I, on the other hand, feel quite lovely. Ironic, really, considering I'm known to be the depressive side of things, while he is more accustomed to being the manic one."
 * spoken after Johnny has died

 * "You are nothing more than an outhouse to him, Mr. Eff, whereas I am his home. He will return, and when he does, that will be the end of it."

 * "Try something else! Put your head in the trash compactor! That should work!!"
 * to Johnny about killing himself

Mr. Eff

 * "Don't expect anything but nasty irritation from anyone you didn't create."

 * "You're alive for now! Why waste your existence mimicking the dead!? Go enjoy!!"

 * "Don't make me break my foot off in your ass!!"

 * "Poisoning our boy's mind with your shit!! You offend me!!!"
 * before tearing off Nail Bunny's head

Nail Bunny
Nail Bunny, a pet Nny nailed to the wall three years ago, is a small voice of reason in Johnny's mind.

 * "You bought me from the pet store, fed me once, and then nailed me to the wall; THREE YEARS AGO. I dont have to imagine."

 * "She liked you and you tried to kill her. That was impolite."

 * "I mean, look at you! You devote more time to fuming over the stupidity of mankind than you do to what you once felt so much for!! Your imagination has been subverted!!"

 * "Killing yourself isn't the answer."

 * "The extent of your work is that anemic piece of shit, Happy Noodle Boy! A goddamned STICK FIGURE!!!"

 * "...who would ever suspect that they were no longer the mind behind the other end of their internal conversations. The other voices have become self-aware."

Reverend Meat
Reverend Meat is a burger restaurant sign that somehow came into Johnny's possession. It is in one scene, during volume 7, and attempts to sell to Johnny the concept of living for sensation and pleasure. His opponent in this debate is the silent Mr Samsa, a cockroach whom Johnny admires for his coldness and lack of attachment.

 * "Hardly. You see, I am holding a giant hamburger"

 * "There is a disturbing association in your mind, between feeling and weakness. I concur that it does present a vulnerability... but it means openness!! To pleasures! To pains! To grievance and rapture!! What other creatures know such things!!? And you would cast it off like an itchy turtleneck?!! Blasphemy of your species!! Your body screams for input!!"

 * "You were born a feeling creature. There is no unlearning of your nature. Therefore...there is no choice!!"

 * "There is no choice. You're always a slave to something."

Wobbly Headed Bob
WHB is a side-comic character who sees that life is utterly pointless. He doesn't know which to be more depressed about: this fact, or the fact that everyone around him cannot see it.

 * "Remember, dog, beauty is ephemeral, pain is forever."

 * "If you actually believe your true intelligence is determined by some standardized system, well, then you can't be THAT smart. The ability to quote memorized information is hardly worth such joy."
 * on SAT scores

 * "You dare revel in this hideous beast you have spawned, so bloated with countless wicked futures!! Blinded morons, for all you know, this child of yours may be a vessel for Satan!!"
 * to some proud parents

 * "Cursed with an abnormally vast perception of this cruel reality. Trudging through levels of intense emotion no small minded creature could withstand!! So it is no surprise that, most of all, there is pain in superiority. I suffer..."sob"...because I am better."

 * "I never asked to be this superior being."

 * "How I envy those blessed with a stunning ignorance of the truth. (sigh) Oh... to be truly happy! To be an imbecile!"

 * "Do you not see how superior I am? Hear me, and evolve."

 * "Your pathetic delusion flatters me!! How open you are in exposing your defective and easily misled mind."
 * when a girl professes her love for him

 * "Indeed! The toenail that is your brain is hungry!!"

 * "Agonizing is the pain of knowledge. Acknowledge my genius and make it more bearable."

 * "Ooh. I believe in pain by whatever name you wish to disguise it under. So, yesss!! I DO believe in love!!"

 * "I would insult your intelligence, but what would be the point?"

 * "There is no worse enemy than the one incapable of knowing why they may be wrong."

 * "I have seen the light, and it is me."

 * "For, despite the forgiveable ignorance of youth, you are also, likely, being raised by imbeciles, poorly prepared for parenthood, capable only of perpetuating their genetic flaws. What tragedy it is to be just smart enough to know you are doomed to painful idiocy."
 * to a child

Various victims of Johnny

 * "Because, and I mean no offense by this, I would like to go."
 * Edgar Vargas, to Johnny

 * "I CAN'T SEE THE BACK OF MY HEAD!!"

 * "MY EYES!! I CAN’T SEE MY EYES!!"

 * Krik: "Shiit! It feels like we've been running around for HOURS. Let's rest for a minute."
 * Tess: "Okayy!! And, hey, let's also thrust our thumbs deep into our EYE-SOCKETS!! WHEEEE!! C'mon, how stupid are you!?"
 * while running from The Not-Moose (the wall monster)

 * Tess: "You're a real asshole, you know that?"
 * Said to Dillon after they are captured by Johnny.

 * "I am laughing at his funny-ness."
 * random asshole, on Johnny

 * "So he's shaking and whining that he only wanted a BrainFreezy and didn't want to be bothered. Just like a little girl. We pushed him around some more, for a few more minutes. And then, and I swear this happened. I SWEAR... he shot LAZER BEAMS from his EYES!!!"
 * Krik, on how he was caught by Johnny

 * "You're not here because that guy is some psychotic, raving, Neo-Nazi NERD!! You're here because you're a small-minded ass-tick!!!"
 * Tess, to Krik

 * "Don't make me try to come up with an original curse!!"
 * Krik

 * Tess: "I can't believe this. I'm escaping a house full of assholes so I can live in a world where they're NOT in chains."
 * Krik: "Fuck you!"
 * while running from The Not-Moose (the wall monster)

 * "Not... grasping. She speaks of my manliness, but in... what... a negative way?  Confusion!
 * Krik

 * "Someone get this churrito out of my ass!!"

Trip to Heaven and Hell
In the last half of the series, Johnny dies, goes first to Heaven and then to Hell, and finally is resurrected. On the way he meets, among others, God, Mr. Satan (a.k.a. Senor Diablo), and lots of dead people (including a few of Johnny's previous victims).

 * "This is Heaven. You can stop praying now."
 * sign outside Heaven

 * "Beware of God."
 * sign outside Heaven

 * "OOOOH, SORREEEE!! I only created THE UNIVERSE!!! You’re right, I should be out running LAPS."
 * God

 * "Understand that these people are not catatonic, they can get up and do as they please. In fact, they all have powers. Highly destructive weapons of the mind. But there is no desire to use them - either out of respect or out of fear of retaliation. Here, the futility and stupidity of aggression is understood."
 * Damned Elize, tour guide of Heaven

 * "HEY!! I'm BLISSING over here!!"
 * random person in Heaven

 * The Devil: "You will adress me by my proper, distinguished title - Senor Diablo."
 * Johnny: "Will "Mr. Satan" do?"
 * The Devil: "Yeah, okay."

 * "There is such amusement in seeing the joy in someone when they think they have just gotten smarter."
 * Senor Diablo, on answering Johnny's questions

 * "Know that, for all its troubles, the world is perfect. Flawless in its beauties and turmoils. Violence and nightmares being a natural product of humanity."
 * Senor Diablo

 * "Hey!! Move it!! Every place I have to be is important!!"
 * old woman in Hell

 * "Hah! No, it won't hurt at all, though some people say it is the most excruciating thing they've ever known. Your hair might fall out."
 * Senor Diablo, on being resurrected

 * "I’m so depressed. I wish I could kill myself again."
 * Person in Hell

 * "Excuse me, but I don't seem to have enough cream cheese to cover both halves of my bagel."
 * Guy in Hell that eats bagels

Jimmy
Jimmy, or as he names himself, "Mmy" is an admirer of Johnny, and attempts to emulate his work. He shows up on Johnny's doorstep shortly after our "hero"'s resurrection, and describes in detail his hideous doings in Johnny's name. He doesn't live long.

 * Jimmy: "I can't leave!!!"
 * Johnny: "I could arrange for that to be true. But at the moment your legs are still attached to your body. Take advantage of that now."

 * "You work with the living canvas, whose ephemeral beauty is realized at that tiny moment at which the life has truly been extinguished from it's shell."
 * to Johnny

 * "No! This is wrong. You...you're supposed to teach me!"

 * Jimmy: "We could work together. I'm just like you!"
 * Johnny: (After smashing a sledgehammer into Jimmy's open torso)"I don't like myself much."

Random Goths
Throughout the comic there are short side stories focusing on Goth young adults. The running joke is that all Goths are the same, even though they cry that they are the lone "individuals".

 * "Please, somebody rescue me from this hell of inferiority!! I deserve better than to have to endure the stupidity of those who do not share my interests in music!!"
 * Sanguine

Jhonen Vasquez
Besides the author's note at the beginning of every volume, occasionally the author inserts himself into side comics, seemingly trying to find inspiration for the next leg of the comic.

 * "I trust that your minds are developed enough to take no offense at these things. If not, well, I'm better than you, aren't I?"
 * from author's note, volume 1

 * "People. God knows I love them (Do not fear the sarcasm.)"
 * from author's note, volume 2

 * "...there's just a time to pull yourself out of the muddy gloom that sucks at your feet and holds you under the delusion that this is the only kind of attention there is to receive. There is a time to just pack your bag full of a deadly arsenal of weapons and just shake off the dismal robe that shrouds you. Well...perhaps YOU shouldn't go about it that way...No, you probably shouldn't. But you'll be seeing somebody who does. Kids, don't do this at home...unless you're not planning on blaming me (in which case, GO TO IT. We need more things like this on the news.)
 * from author's note, volume 3

 * "Doing something purely for one's own enjoyment is fine, but, I must admit, finding that others enjoy it as well has a certain power over the corners of my mouth."
 * from author's note, volume 4

 * "I do not adore death as if I were some idiot groupie to the lead singer in a band. I approach it with the mixture of fascination/terror/icy speculation of someone who really knows nothing. I trust, only enough, to know that I like myself too much to even consider bringing about my own demise."
 * from author's note, volume 5

 * "Letters from "kindred spirits" come in, telling of how they agree with my views and how the world stinks, and of how they wish they could just kill themselves. Well, dispose of yourselves quietly, if you must, so long as you don't leave a note saying I told you to do it, you self-esteem deficient loons. I happen to have a certain fondness for existing - soda wouldn't have that lovely fizzy feeling if you were dead. Think of all the things you would miss; cartoons, music, movies, video games, music, art, fingernail growth, sex...well, perhaps not sex, depending on how weird your mortician is."
 * from author's note, volume 6

 * "...the soon to be ruler of the known universe JHONEN VASQUEZ!! Your desire to be conquered bleeds out of you. I know you want it."
 * from author's note, volume 7

 * "I mean, I still haven't killed anyone. I think I keep from going over that edge by writing about this person who has taken a flying leap over it."

 * "NOOOOOO!!! I’ve lost the respect of this impolite special ed student!! I have no valid reason to live!! (Thank you, Lord, for sarcasm.)"

 * "A lovely day in the city park. Sun shining, the birds singing! They're laughing at me mom!!"

 * "To achieve THIS shot, we first made a plaster mold of the actor's head. We then filled it with cow parts. Then, for realism, we surprised the actor by blowing a hole through his head."
 * side note

 * "Parents, don't get upset-It's a fake brain. A gelatin mixture was poured into a brain shaped mold. We then filled it with the blood of a homeless man. No one will miss him."
 * side note when Nny throws a molester's brain into a wall

 * "Fun Fact: it's not a moose."
 * note next to panel of the huge monster escaped from Nny's wall

 * "Stupid people: I would ask you to keep in mind that this should NOT be a source of moral guidance (THAT WOULD BE MOVIES). Put away the knives and never allow yourselves to forget: YOU ARE STUPID."
 * note next to Nny's ramblings about torture being justified

 * "He is thinking of how pathetic this is. [next panel] I don't know what he's thinking here. He is very mysterious."
 * notes while Johnny is listening to Jimmy's perversion of Nny's methods

 * "Kids, drugs won't help things. They'll only turn you into a hideous little freak troll-baby with exploding eyeballs."
 * moral at end of exaggerated one-shot about boy who does drugs

 * "Ah, swearing - Beloved crutch of the intellectually deviant."
 * note during Krik's tirade at a dying Johnny

 * "Kids, don't be stupid and try this. This is a trained flying toddler."
 * note during Heaven fight scene

 * "Angry nun is always comedy."
 * note during Heaven fight scene

 * "Don't sue me. I'm funny."
 * on mentioning Taco Bell

 * "Sir? There seems to be a problem with this ice-sucky machine. Please make my pain end."
 * to gas station attendant

 * Jhonen: Heyyyy...wait a minute. You're the Devil, aren't you?"
 * Gas station attendant: Nooo, I'm not the Devil. Go away.
 * Jhonen: Ohhh, come on. You're the Devil.
 * Gas station attendant: GLAARGH! BLOOOGH! (morphs into demon) Yess! I am the DEVIL!! DAMN you and your mighty word probe!

 * "For those dense fucks who grow weary at the absence of sophomoric violence, here is a little boy being attacked by his cuddly gerbil."
 * side note during philosophical stretch in volume 6

 * "Check out Happy Jack's Happy Noodle boy Page - I won't give you the URL because life is never easy - do a web search."

 * "Until the future happens, goodnight."

 * "Keep Smiling until you stop"

 * "It's a book you can enjoy with the entire family, so long as they're numb to the grotesque."
 * on Squee, the spinoff to Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

 * "I can tell the book's getting more successful because of the dramatic increase in the "YOU FUCKER! I WROTE TO YOU AND YOU NEVER WROTE BACK YOU SUCK YOUR RESPONSE WAS SO SHORT IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO DEVOTE SHITLOADS OF PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE TO MEEEEE AND ONLY MEEEEE" kind of letters. People, I do enjoy the letters, but REALLY, to most readers I am a book in their hands, not a friend and not an enemy. Not even a person. What matters is the book, not my personal responses to some lunatic's queries. Overall, however, the mail (paper and electronic) has been quite lovely, making me smile like the little girl I wish I was."

 * "Much more will happen, but I am sneaky piggy, so I no tell."

Various signs and things
Hidden in the panels of JTHM, there are often signs and other things. Many of them are on Nny's shape shifting t-shirt, which has never yet managed to stay quite the same through one conversation.

 * "Smile!! Though your life is miserable"
 * poster in Squee's room

 * Murder. What's with that?
 * Do you kill people?
 * Pain. Good?
 * Have you ever been murdered?
 * questions on survey about recent murders

 * "Break glass in case of overwhelming despair."
 * glass front of gun case in Nny's home

 * "Drink blood. Go to hell. Parents concerned about vampirism."
 * poster

 * "Utilizes dazzling, stark, black and white technology given to us by the benevolent space creatures."
 * t-shirt ad

 * "Smile! You fucker!"
 * Nny's t-shirt

 * "Keep off! It's impolite to walk on the dead."
 * sign on Johnny's front yard

 * "Kiss me!! I'm insane!!"
 * Nny's t-shirt

 * "This is my back"
 * back of Nny's t-shirt

 * "The most beloved massive head wound recipient in existence."
 * caption at beginning of chapter in volume 5

 * "Please stop breathing."
 * Nny's t-shirt

 * "You are so small."
 * Nny's t-shirt

 * "Suck it like you loves it, baby!!"
 * Ice Sucky cup

 * "Acheron Cosmetic Surgery - because you're ugly :)"
 * sign on building in Hell

 * "Have you seen this boy? He is very ugly."
 * poster in hell

 * "This is the Johnny shirt that all your ugly friends are wearing. You are much better looking, so get it and make them see how hideous they are. It's not really edible, you could eat it if you really tried."
 * t-shirt ad

 * "Knock on me. You just TRY IT."
 * sign on Johnny's front door in volume 7

 * "Plastic Roses: Get your ass kicked for being insensitive."
 * Last page in the Director's Cut

 * "Dude, can you spare some change? I need beer."
 * Cardboard Sign held by someone in Part 7

 * "If you can read this, you are probably not dead yet. - The management."
 * sign in Nny's basement

 * "You'll pee fire!"
 * Ad for Senor Salsa chilli dip

 * "Your intestines will hate you."
 * Ad for Cheese Nubs

 * "Enjoy your stay."
 * Written in blood in a torture chamber

 * "I Eat Food"
 * Nny's shirt

 * "What Do You NEED?"
 * Nny's shirt

 * "Z?"
 * Appears on the shirt of Mr. Eff, one of the doughboys, and from time to time, on Nny's own shirt.

 * Johnny the Hamicidal Maniac
 * Poster in Ann Gwish's room, showing Johnny C. in pig form.

 * "Hellfire Vodka"
 * Vodka brand in Hell

 * ring me, I dare you
 * Johnny's door bell

 * 777
 * Johnny's house address

 * 777 the # of the moose
 * A shirt of Johnny's

 * For a good time, don't call me. I am dull.
 * Graffiti in a bathroom stall

why are you not dead?
 * t-shirt of Johnnys

title: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac