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The Tick (2001 TV series)

The Tick is a character and had previously appeared in comics and an animated cartoon. The live-action series ran on the Fox network in 2001. Nine episodes were made; one of them was never aired, but appears on the DVD.

 * "I am the wild blue yonder. The front line in a never-ending battle between good and not-so-good. Together with my stalwart sidekick Arthur, and the magnanimous help of some other folks I know, we form the yin to villainy's malevolent yang. Destiny has chosen us. Wicked men — you face the Tick!"

~ voice-over from opening credits

Cast

 * Patrick Warburton - the Tick
 * David Burke - Arthur
 * Nestor Carbonell - Batmanuel
 * Liz Vassey - Captain Liberty

Pilot

 * Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Written by Ben Edlund.

 * The Tick: The life of a superhero is a lonely one, filled with hardship and danger. The few who answer the call must leave comfort, safety, and often sanity behind. But someone's gotta stand the heat and stay in the kitchen. Someone's gotta don the oven mitts of all that's right and strangle the red-hot throat of all that's wrong. This is that someone's story.
 * Tick: He stands in silence — stoic, godlike — the mysterious blue avenger who has become legend to the simple folk of this bus station. But glory will not distract him from his vigil.
 * ''(A vending machine has taken a commuter's money and failed to deliver a cup of coffee)"
 * ''(A vending machine has taken a commuter's money and failed to deliver a cup of coffee)"
 * ''(A vending machine has taken a commuter's money and failed to deliver a cup of coffee)"

"Tick": Metal fiend. "(the Tick bounds into action.)''
 * Tick: Stand back, citizen! So, vending menace, we meet again. (to commuter, while flipping coin return lever) Did ya jiggle the thingie? (he heaves machine off the ground, shaking it and pounding it against the wall) Armless bandit! Empty your bladder of that bitter black urine men call coffee! It has its price and that price has been paid! (he slams machine back onto the ground; it delivers a cup of coffee) Java devil, you are now my bitch. Well, here you are, weary traveler, one steaming hot cup of justice. No need to thank me, it's my sworn duty to defend this bus station from the ravages of evil.
 * Tick: Well, Destiny honks the horn of Gotta Go. To the City!
 * Bus station manager: Who was that blue stranger?
 * Tick: He was — the Tick!
 * Tick: He was — the Tick!

 * (Arthur is in an office, working, in his superhero suit; his boss sits beside Arthur's desk and clears his throat.)
 * Arthur: Mister-Mister Fishladder!
 * Mr. Fishladder: Arthur... it is still "Arthur", isn't it? Arthur, my time is worth seventeen dollars a second. I want an explanation, and I want it to cost less than fifteen hundred dollars. Go!
 * Arthur: Oh. Uh, well, it's a little hard to explain —
 * Fishladder: Fifty-one dollars.
 * Arthur: Mr. Fishladder, I have been living a lie. I am more than just a mild-mannered accountant. Now, I do good work for this firm and I value my job. It's just... my entire life has become nothing but numbers and deductions and IRA's.
 * Fishladder: Two hundred fifty-five dollars.
 * Arthur: Granted, I have been doing my parents' tax returns since I was six — but even then I knew I had a higher calling. I can't hide from it any longer. I —
 * Fishladder: Don't say it!
 * Arthur: I am going to become a superhero! You know... part-time, at first...
 * Fishladder: Christ in heaven, look at yourself! You're built like a sensible shoe! You shouldn't be jumping around in a body-sock fighting crime!
 * Arthur: Well, I haven't actually fought any crime yet.
 * Fishladder: Good! Keep it that way! Crime fights back! Remember the lesson of Metcalf.
 * Arthur: Metcalf?
 * Fishladder: METCALF! Head of Shipping and Receiving, third floor. Metcalf! He lost all his game pieces just like you, cashed in his 401k, and bought a jetpack. Now the poor bastard needs a machine — to POOP!
 * Arthur: Mr. Fishladder, I know that sort of thing can happen, but —
 * Fishladder: But you're gonna ride this thing out to the bloody, gruesome end, aren't you?
 * Arthur: Well, maybe not all the way to the end but... you know, for a while. Mr. Fishladder, I have to try.
 * Fishladder: Time's up. Here's the way I see it: you're either a man with a job or an idiot in a bunny suit. You can't be both - not at Worldwide Fishladder & Sons. So what's it gonna be, huh?
 * Arthur: They may call us an accountant, but we can't deny our true nature... even if all our friends and relatives tell us we're good at math. The hero's life - our destiny!
 * Arthur: They may call us an accountant, but we can't deny our true nature... even if all our friends and relatives tell us we're good at math. The hero's life - our destiny!

 * Panda Bartender: [About Arthur trying to fly] I think he going to fall down a lot and die.

 * Captain Liberty: I'm working on having him deported.
 * Batmanuel: She fears the demons I have awoken in her... womanly places.

 * Arthur: I'm not moth-man, I'm not a superhero... I'm not even an accountant anymore! I'm just Arthur.
 * Tick: Arthur, listen to me carefully. I believe in you! I always have! That's why I'm here. Destiny dressed you this morning my friend, and now Fear is trying to pull off your pants. If you give up, if you give in, you're gonna end up naked with Fear just standing there laughing at your dangling unmentionables!

 * Jimmy Carter: Help! Circus freaks! Help! Help! Men in wrestling outfits!

 * Tick: Yes, it's too late, we've learned that Communism does not pay. So, don't have a snappy Soviet comeback for that one, do we? (to the Red Scare)
 * Tick: Gravity... is a harsh mistress.
 * Tick: Gravity... is a harsh mistress.

 * Tick: ...and that's how we defeated our first supervillain, and how Arthur learned to fly, and how we gave Jimmy Carter a mild concussion.
 * Arthur: We saved an ex-president!
 * Tick: Yet the evening's greatest victory is the partnership forged between this heroic duo! Friends to the end — bonded together by the Krazy-Glue of justice! Til death to they part!

 * Tick: Fight fire with Arthur!

The Terror

 * Directed by Boris Damast. Written by Ben Edlund.

 * [Arthur is on a gurney, while the Tick runs alongside with hospital personnel.]
 * Tick: Arthur is broken! Gimme two hundred cc's of tender loving care, stat!
 * Tick: Say, you think you could soup him up a bit?
 * Doctor: Excuse me?
 * Tick: Maybe give him a metal arm with a laser in it, or something.
 * Tick: Maybe give him a metal arm with a laser in it, or something.

 * Arthur: Yes. I'm anal retentive. Fine. Believe me, I would change that if I could.
 * Tick: Good Lord, man, retain that anus! One day its fruit may be the only thing that stands between us and total oblivion!

 * Tick: [holding up crossed fingers] We've been like this ever since — thick as thieves! Well... without all the stealin' and maraudin' and so forth.

 * [The Tick is on the phone with the Terror, a legendary supervillain.]
 * The Terror: Aw, leave me alone. I'm a hundred and twelve years old, I'm done.
 * Tick: Don't be an Adolf Quitler!
 * Terror: You think you can take me, do ya?
 * Tick: You got that right, you big weenie.
 * Terror: Bah! I'll fold you into my wallet and spend you on a whore!
 * Terror: That tears it! I'm gonna tuck you in for a dirt nap, you Betty!
 * Terror: That tears it! I'm gonna tuck you in for a dirt nap, you Betty!
 * Terror: That tears it! I'm gonna tuck you in for a dirt nap, you Betty!

 * Arthur: Giving the Tick the Terror's phone number was like giving a, a child a loaded gun — pointing at me!

 * Arthur: We are not triumphant! All we did was crank-call an old man and-and give him a heart attack.
 * Tick: Wasn't Plan A, but it did the trick.

 * Tick: When you get in bed with evil incarnate, it always steals the covers.

 * Arthur: I almost get killed a lot.

 * Batmanuel: [With a scorpion on his chest.] Hello...I got the poison lobster here.

Arthur, Interrupted

 * Directed by Dean Parsot. Written by Richard Lehmann-Smith.

 * Captain Liberty: You haven't told your mother that you're... super?

 * Tick: We mustn't let our guard down chum, we've got a devilishly clever commode here, he's already taken the bathtub as an ally in his porcelain war against us.

 * [The Tick meets Arthur's mother and sister.]
 * Tick: So you're the mother. What a pleasure it is to shake hands with the womb that spilled Arthur into the world. And let's not forget the womb-mate, Dot! Arthur's words do no justice to your nervous, white-knuckled beauty.

 * Bea [Arthur's mom]: Play safe with your new friends, dear.

 * Batmanuel: I must say, I find your sister strangely compelling. Do you think she'd care to go —
 * Arthur: What? NO! She's married. She's got two kids.
 * Batmanuel: Oh — yes, I thought I knew that scent! A soccer mommy! It's my only weakness.

 * Arthur: Toilets... don't... talk. They DON'T!
 * Tick: Well, that's a "maybe" in my book.

 * [Tick pours some drain cleaner into the toilet]
 * Tick: Not so talky with a belly full of HELL are we?

 * Arthur: How did you find me?
 * Tick: I just walked around and yelled a lot.

 * Tick: Wow. That is icky to infinity.

The License

 * Directed by Craig Zisk. Written by Larry Charles.

 * Policeman: Cap'n Liberty, what do we got?
 * Captain Liberty: What do we got? What are you, blind? What does it look like we got? We got a guy stuck halfway up a robot's ass. That's what we got.

 * [Captain Liberty discusses dating problems with fellow superheroine Medusa.]
 * Captain Liberty: I mean, what are our choices? On the one hand, you've got a bunch of musclebound mutants who think that just because they can bend steel, we're supposed to bend over... and the civilians, well, they're afraid we're gonna zap 'em with a ray and shrink their johnson!

 * License Clerk: I haven't got all day
 * Tick: Well we do Thelma, you can have half of ours! We'll share!

 * [At the police station, Tick meets a woman who claims he's her husband.]
 * Mrs. Glick: Oh, Ted... Ted!
 * Tick: You hear that, Arthur? Ted!
 * Mrs. Glick: I've been worried to death!
 * Tick: Oh, you poor zombie... that's no way to die.

 * Mrs. Glick: [showing a photo] Here we are at the Grand Canyon. Do you remember being at the Grand Canyon?
 * Tick/Ted: I remember vaguely making the Grand Canyon.

 * Mrs. Glick: And here we are at the Eiffel Tower.
 * Tick/Ted: I fell...
 * Mrs. Glick: No, "Eiffel"
 * Tick/Ted: You fell?

 * Batmanuel: So, Arthur, how is your life post-Tick? And be prepared — if your answer is not scintillating, my interest will rapidly wane.

 * Batmanuel: In my experience, there's only one guaranteed way to ever really know the truth - you must create it yourself.
 * Captain Liberty: And how do you do that?
 * Batmanuel: Lie.

Arthur Needs Space

 * Directed by Bo Welch. Written by David Sacks.

 * [Arthur, in costume, has bumped into a girl he had a crush on in high school.]
 * Stacy Waxman: Do you want to go to dinner tomight?
 * Arthur: Very badly. But I'll have to —
 * Stacy: Change? Don't you dare!
 * Arthur: You... want me to wear the suit?
 * Stacy: Definitely! Dinner with a superhero — who wouldn't wanna be me tonight?
 * Tick: Well, Zordox, for one... Kid Psycho... the A-Hole...

 * Batmanuel: Herein you see the power of the suit. Women cannot resist the suit. Men cannot resist the suit. Dogs —
 * Arthur: Yeah, I get it. So you think she's only talking to me because of the suit?
 * Batmanuel: I am only talking to you because of the suit.

 * Batmanuel: Batmanuel is a jealous ex-lover. If he cannot see you naked, then nobody can.
 * Captain Liberty: Wow. I'm not sure if that's romantic or just extra creepy.

 * Judge: Make it fast!
 * Batmanuel: Batmanuel never makes it fast. That is, unless the husband is in the other room.

 * [The Tick, looking at a girlie magazine, bursts out laughing.]
 * Tick: Well, that poor fella's got bosoms!

Couples

 * Directed by Danny Leiner. Written by Ross Vendkur.

 * Tick: Well, not so runny anymore, are we, Mister Takin'-Stuff? (after fleeing burglar bounces off him.)

 * The Fiery Blaze: Guttersnipe! Halt now or face the combustible justice of... the Fiery Blaze!
 * Friendly Fire: And his sideKICK [kicks the burglar] Friendly Fire!
 * Tick: Lordy, gents, your banter is immaculate! A pleasure to witness.

 * Captain Liberty: Manuel, we're not lonely, are we?
 * Batmanuel: We? No. No, no, no, no. We're too attractive to be lonely.
 * Capt. Liberty: Yeah, but we are alone.
 * Batmanuel: I'm not alone. Uh, spinsters, shut-ins, toll booth attendants — these are alone people. Batmanuel is lone — as in Lone Ranger, or, uh, lone wolf. Alone is an unfortunate predicament. Lone is an aesthetic choice.

 * [Captain Liberty tries to buy a puppy.]
 * Capt. Liberty: How much?
 * Randolph [pet store clerk]: Well, I suggest you spend some time with Lilith in the back, make sure you like her personality, and then we can talk price.
 * Capt. Liberty: Personality? He's a dog. He sits, he rolls over, he plays dead. How much?
 * Randolph: I don't think I'm gonna be able to help you, ma'am. Why don't you go rent a videotape or something, instead of ruining some poor puppy's life with your single-woman hormone clock-is-ticking impulse-buying nonsense?
 * Capt. Liberty: Just sell me the damn dog.
 * Randolph: She's not for sale — not to you. What you need is a singles chat-room, ma'am, not some living creature. Good day.

 * Arthur: So, Tick, you know, I've been thinking. We have it pretty good. We fill in each other's weak spots. You're bulletproof, for instance, while I'm not.
 * Tick: True — but it's your firm grip on reality that keeps our ship on course.
 * Arthur: Well... yeah, I guess you're right...
 * Tick: Guess, nothin'! You're on a first-name basis with lucidity, little friend. I have to call it Mister Lucidity... and that's no good in a pinch.
 * Arthur: I just don't wanna turn into Blaze and Fire, okay?
 * Tick: Good heavens, man, what kind of crazy Frankenscience could make that possible?

 * Tick: I smell sweaty, drinky, uncle-person...
 * [The Fiery Blaze appears and falls down drunk.]

The Funeral

 * Directed by Andrew Tsao. Written by Christopher McCullough.

 * [The Tick delivers an unscheduled eulogy at the funeral of the Immortal, a world-famous superhero.]
 * Tick: Death: the eternal blink. The capricious dance of now-you-stopped moving-forever. Well, contrary to popular belief, death is not just for dead people. It can happen to anybody. I know... it's news to me too.

 * Batmanuel: I'm sorry, but it's just not cool.
 * Arthur: Well, who made you the arbiter of cool?
 * Batmanuel: It is Batmanuel's divine mission. He can do nothing about it.

 * Liberty: My God, Tick! What planet are you living on?
 * Tick: Plant Me.
 * Liberty: Planet Stupid!
 * Batmanuel: Hey, don't take this out on the Tick! HE is not the one who took a national treasure to bed and then killed him with his pink secrets!

 * The Tick: Life is your chance, Arthur! Grab it! Squeeze the milk of life into your dirty glass and drink it warm.

 * Batmanuel: If you had asked out that girl at the Panda when I told you, you would be on a date right now instead of riding around in the makeshift hearse of your childhood hero! Just something to think about for next time.

 * [The Tick's funeral oration continues.]
 * Tick: Well, just for kicks, let's look at the word "funeral". Starts with the word "fun", doesn't it? All I see out there are a bunch of sad faces. Now the Grim Reaper is an ugly customer, I'll grant you that — but you know who's worse? Mister Mope!

 * [After a (possibly imaginary) pep-talk from the dead Immortal, Arthur approaches the girl he was too shy to ask out at the Panda earlier.]
 * Arthur: Look, I'll probably be arrested soon... and after that, of course, I'll be dead. But before all that happens, I just wanted to say... hi.

 * [Government personnel at the Immortal's funeral have realized that the Tick isn't a scheduled speaker.]
 * Military Aide: the MP's are ready to tackle him off the stage, sir.
 * General: Belay that for the moment. I'm starting to like the cut of this man's gibberish.

The Tick vs. Justice

 * Directed by Mel Damski. Written by Ben Edlund and Larry Charles.

 * [The Tick talks to reporters outside the courtroom.]
 * Tick: This is nothing more than a salty slab of justice jerky — cut and dried!

 * Tick: Why is that fella wearing a dress?
 * Arthur: [whispering] Because he's the judge.
 * Tick: Well, I judge him and find him funny!

 * [In a flashback, the heroes encounter the armored supervillain Destroyo.]
 * Tick: Could be nothin'... could be the stench of unfathomable evil.
 * [Destroyo is bullying Batmanuel.]
 * Tick: Hey, Bossy! Why don't you try that on somebody my size?
 * Destroyo: Do you know who I am?
 * Tick: Yeah, I know who you are, Destinko. Why don't you curl up your metal mitts into fists — 'cause you face the Tick!
 * Destroyo: I will destroy you!
 * Tick: Bring it on, crap-lobster!
 * Tick: Bring it on, crap-lobster!

 * Tick: Aaaaah... my head feels like-like it's gonna have a baby!
 * Arthur: It's called a headache.
 * Tick: It has a NAME?!?
 * [Arthur pours some aspirin into Tick's hand. Tick pops them into his mouth and chews them.]
 * Tick: Ewwww! This is the worst tasting candy, ever!

 * [From his cell, Destroyo plays mind games with Captain Liberty.]
 * Captain Liberty: Shut up. You don't know a thing about me.
 * Destroyo: On the contrary, Janet, I know all about you. You're a Barbie doll trying to fit into a world of G.I. Joes. Dressed in your special little outfit by the fevered hands of your sweaty Uncle Sam — the only man who ever stayed in your life — who taught you how to fight, but not how to love. And all those boys... all they care about is peeling off that costume to find out if the doll inside is anatomically correct.

 * Tick: Gimme that ! (snatches the judge's gavel) Who died and made you the cross-dressing king of justice?
 * Arthur: Contempt of COURT?!?
 * Tick: Well, "contempt" is a strong word. I certainly didn't like court very much...
 * Tick: Well, "contempt" is a strong word. I certainly didn't like court very much...

 * Batmanuel: Another urban myth dispelled. Ninjas don't bounce.

 * Arthur: [on witness stand] Dance, fat-boy, DANCE!

The Big Leagues

 * Directed by Bo Welch. Written by Lon Diamond.

 * Batmanuel: This guy is great. He handles all my legal affairs.
 * Captain Liberty: What kind of legal affairs do you have?
 * Batmanuel: Batmanuel is mired in much litigation. For instance, I'm suing the makers of my codpiece. It was not properly fitted, causing severe shooting pains in my groin.
 * Capt. Liberty: Ouch.
 * Batmanuel: Yes — an "ouch" that will now cost them seven figures. Not that you can place a dollar amount on Batmanuel's groin area...

 * Tick: That petty criminal needs a good swift kick in his bad-pants!

 * Captain Liberty: If you two were really my friends, you'd be supporting me instead of betraying me.
 * Tick: Captain Liberty, we are your friends... even though we're betraying you.

 * [In the League of Superheroes smoking lounge, Tick continues obsessing over one criminal's escape.]
 * Tick: Somewhere, that petty criminal is laughing at us, rolling in his ill-gotten booty. And he should laugh — 'cause we stink. Smells like everybody's smoking feet.

 * The Champion: We are the cream of the crop.
 * Tick: And the cream is white!

title: The Tick (2001 TV series)


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User:ArnoLagrange

See Arno Lagrange

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

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Talk:John Holt

"The essence of a good career is a bad marriage" is sometimes attributed to John Holt. Did he say or write such a thing?

Unsourced

 * It's not that I feel that school is a good idea gone wrong, but a wrong idea from the word go. It's a nutty notion that we can have a place where nothing but learning happens, cut off from the rest of life.

 * Education... now seems to me perhaps the most authoritarian and dangerous of all the social inventions of mankind. It is the deepest foundation of the modern slave state, in which most people feel themselves to be nothing but producers, consumers, spectators, and fans, driven more and more, in all parts of their lives, by greed, envy, and fear.  My concern is not to improve 'education' but to do away with it, to end the ugly and antihuman business of people-shaping and to allow and help people to shape themselves.

title: Talk:John Holt


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Legally Blonde

Legally Blonde is a 2001 film about a stereotypical airheaded blonde sorority girl who enrolls in Harvard Law School to show a former boyfriend (and prospective fiancé) that she is capable of being "serious".
 * Directed by Robert Luketic. Screenplay by Karen McCullough Lutz and Kirsten Smith. Based on the book by Amanda Brown.

This summer go blonde! (Taglines)

Elle Woods

 * And two weeks ago, I killed Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, when I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed!
 * So just because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner, across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.
 * He's engaged! She's got the six-carat Harry Winston on her bony, unpolished finger.
 * All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.
 * Bend... and snap!
 * The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.
 * Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't!
 * I'll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be!
 * [to Warner] I've been waiting for a long time for you to say that. But if I'm going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.
 * [Speaking at the class graduation as valedictorian in Harvard.] On my very first day at Harvard, a very wise professor quoted Aristotle, "The law is reason free from passion"; Well, no offence to Aristotle, but in my three years at Harvard, I have come to find passion is the key ingredient to the study and practice of law, and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions are not always correct, you must always have faith in people, and most importantly you must always have faith in yourself. Congratulations, Class of 2004... [excited] We did it!

Emmett Forrest

 * You know, being a blonde is actually a pretty powerful thing. You hold more cards than you think you do. And I, for one, would like to see you take that power and channel it toward the greater good, you know?

Professor Callahan

 * Do you think she just woke up one morning and said, 'I think I'll go to law school today'?

Paulette Bonafonté

 * [Elle is in tears at the salon after she finds out Warner dumped her for her new rival, Vivian] So, what does this Vivian got that you don't got - three tits?
 * Could I have been anymore goddamn spastic?
 * [to her ex-husband] I'm takin' the dog, Dumbass!

Others

 * Elle's father: Law school is for people who are boring, and ugly, and…serious. And you, Button, are none of those things.
 * Aaron Mitchell: I was first in my class at Princeton, I have an I.Q. of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time…from my fourth grade paper.
 * Professor Stromwell: If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, you're not the girl I thought you were.
 * Professor Stromwell: A legal education means you will learn to speak in a new language. You will be taught to achieve insight into the world around you.  And to sharply question what  you know.
 * Maurice: Oh, my God, the bend and snap! Works every time.

Dialogue

 * Warner: Elle, if I'm gonna be a senator by the time I'm 30, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
 * Elle: So, you're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
 * Warner: No, that's not entirely true—
 * Elle: Then what? My boobs are too big?
 * [Everyone in the restaurant hears this and turns to their table]
 * Warner: [whispers] Your boobs are fine.

 * Warner Huntington III: Pooh Bear, just get in the car.
 * Elle: No. [starts walking away, sniffling]
 * Warner Huntington III: You're gonna ruin your shoes.
 * Elle: [defeated] Okay. [gets in car]

 * [Elle is looking at a magazine and sees a picture of Warner's older brother and his fiancée]
 * Elle: Oh, my God! Do you know who this is?
 * Old Lady: No.
 * Elle: That’s Warner's older brother.
 * Old Lady: Who?
 * [Elle reads article about Warner's brother and his fiancée]
 * Elle: This is the type of girl Warner wants to marry. This is what I need to become to be serious.
 * Old Lady: What? Practically deformed?
 * Elle: No... a law student.

 * Margot: You'll need this.
 * Elle: Your scrunchie?
 * Margot: My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
 * Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap-dance after the final.
 * Margot: Yeah – luckily.

 * Elle: I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.
 * C.U.L.A. Adviser: Well, then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
 * Elle: Okay.
 * C.U.L.A. Adviser: And a heck of an admissions essay.
 * Elle: Right.
 * C.U.L.A. Adviser: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
 * Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me; I can handle anything.

 * Elle: I'm reading about the LSATs.
 * Serena: My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your....

 * [Elle is presiding at her sorority meeting]
 * Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin.... to generic! All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye".
 * Entire Sorority Group: Aye.

 * Warner Huntington III: ...You? got into Harvard Law...?
 * Elle: What, like it's hard?

 * Professor Stromwell [writing on the board]: "Law is reason, free from passion." Does anyone know who wrote those immortal words?
 * David [raising his hand]: Aristotle.
 * Professor Stromwell [approaching him]: Are you sure?
 * David: Yes.
 * Professor Stromwell: Would you be willing to stake your life on that?
 * David [thoughtful pause]: I think so.
 * Professor Stromwell: And what about...[pokes random student with her pointer] his life?
 * David [nervously]: I...I don't know.
 * Professor Stromwell: I recommend knowing before speaking. The law leaves much room for interpretation, but very little room for self-doubt. [faint smile] And you were right. It was Aristotle.

 * Elle: So, if you don't know an answer, they're just gonna kick you out?
 * Emmett: So, you have Stromwell, huh?
 * Elle: Yes. Did she do that to you, too?
 * Emmett: No, but she did make me cry once.... not in class — I waited until I got back to my room, but yeah, she'll kick you right in the balls.... or wherever.

 * Professor Callahan: Would you rather have a client who committed a crime malum in se or malum prohibitum?
 * Elle: Neither.
 * Professor Callahan: And why's that?
 * Elle: I would rather have a client who's innocent.
 * Professor Callahan: Dare to dream, Miss Woods. Miss Kensington, which would you prefer?
 * Vivian: Malum prohibitum, because then the client would have committed a regulatory infraction as opposed to a dangerous crime.
 * Professor Callahan: Well done, Miss Kensington. It's obvious you've done your homework. Now, let's look at malum prohibitum a little more closely. It has been said-- [Elle raises her hand] Yes, Miss Woods?
 * Elle: I changed my mind. I'll take the dangerous one, because I'm not afraid of a challenge.

 * Vivian: Nice costume.
 * Elle: You, too. Except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

 * (In the checkout line at an electronics store, Emmett encounters Elle, dressed in a Playboy bunny suit, waiting to buy a laptop.)
 * Emmett: (clears throat)
 * Elle: Don't ask.
 * Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

 * David: I called your room last night; I was wondering if we could go out some time.
 * Girl: No.
 * David: Why?
 * Girl: Because you're a dork. Girls like me don't go out with guys like you.
 * Elle: Excuse me. [turns around and slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together, and I haven't heard from you since.
 * David: [pause] I'm sorry?
 * Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
 * David: Both?
 * Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you.
 * Girl: [after Elle has walked off] So, when did you wanna go out?

 * Elle: Oh, Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal?
 * Warner Huntington III: Uh, yeah.... [Vivian gives him an evil look] no.
 * Elle: Well, this is so much better than that! Excuse me; I have some shopping to do.
 * Vivian: Four hours, huh?

 * Elle: Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.
 * Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.

 * Serena: Oh, my God, there she is! Elle!
 * Margot: Elle, we came to see your trial!
 * Serena: Oh, look! How cute! There's, like, a judge and everything.... and jury people.
 * Margot: Vote for Elle!
 * The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Ladies, take a seat!

 * [Elle is waiting in line at the water fountain, where Enrique Salvatore is taking too long. Elle taps her foot impatiently.]
 * Enrique Salvatore: Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey.
 * Elle: These aren't last season.... [looks down, gasps, and runs back into court room] He's gay! Enrique is gay!

 * Elle: [Explaining how no straight man knows designers] Warner, what kind of shoes are these?
 * Warner Huntington III: Um.... black ones.

 * Emmett: Did you ever take Mrs. Windham on a date?
 * Enrique Salvatore: Yes.
 * Emmett: Where?
 * Enrique Salvatore: A restaurant in Concord, where no one could recognize us.
 * Emmett: And how long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
 * Enrique Salvatore: Three months.
 * Emmett: And your boyfriend's name is....?
 * Enrique Salvatore: Chuck.
 * Emmett: Right.
 * [Everyone gasps/laughs]
 * Enrique Salvatore: Pardon me, pardon me.
 * Emmett: Yes, Mr. Salvatore?
 * Enrique Salvatore: I was confused. You see, I thought you said "friend." Chuck is just a friend.
 * Emmett: Oh.
 * Chuck: [leaving the courtroom] YOU BITCH!
 * Enrique: [standing up] Chuck, wait!

 * Elle: Chutney, why is it that Tracy Marcinko's curls were ruined when she got hosed down?
 * Chutney Windham: Because they got wet.
 * Elle: Exactly. Because isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least twenty-four hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?
 * Chutney Windham: Yes.
 * Elle: And wouldn't somebody who's had, say, thirty perms before in their life be well aware of this rule? And if in fact, you weren't washing your hair, as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot? And if in fact, you had heard the gunshot, Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which would mean that you would have had to found Mrs. Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible. Isn't that right?
 * Chutney Windham: She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
 * Elle: You, however, had time to hide the gun, didn't you, Chutney? After you shot your father.
 * Chutney Windham: [in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him! [points at Brooke] I thought it was YOU walking through the door!
 * [Courtroom audience gasps]
 * Judge: Order, order! Order!
 * Elle: Oh, my god.
 * Brooke: Oh, my god.
 * Judge: Oh, my god. Bailiff, take the witness into custody where she will be charged for the murder of Heyworth Windham. In the matter of The State vs. Brooke Windham, this case is dismissed. Mrs. Windham, you are free to go.
 * [Courtroom audience cheers. Guards grab Miss Windham by the arm and arrest her.]

 * [Emmett and Vivian are visiting Brooke in jail. When Vivian makes a rude comment about Elle and Callahan, Emmett is displeased with her unprofessional behavior, as he knew the whole truth about Callahan's advances on Elle.]
 * Emmett: (to Vivian) You have no idea what you're talking about.
 * Brooke: What's going on?
 * Emmett: Elle quit. Callahan hit on her so she quit.
 * Brooke: Oh, my god. Scumbag.
 * Vivian: (realizes her mistake in wrongfully accusing Elle of something she didn't do) Oh, God.
 * Brooke: What?
 * Vivian: I feel so terrible, I made a huge mistake.
 * Emmett: Well, there's something we can do about it.

 * Vivian: You know, I'm still shocked that you didn't give Callahan the alibi.
 * Elle: It wasn't my alibi to tell.
 * Vivian: I know, I thought that was very... classy of you.

 * [After being escorted into the courtroom by the bailiff, Brooke smiles at Callahan intently after learning the truth from Emmett.]
 * Callahan: What are you so happy about? You're on trial for murder.
 * Brooke: Get up.
 * Callahan: What?
 * Brooke: You're fired. I have new representation.
 * Callahan: Who?!
 * [Callahan is shocked when Elle returns to the courtroom escorted by Dorky Dave.]

 * Vivian:[about Warner] You know, when he first applied for Harvard, he got wait-listed. He got in because his father had to make a call.
 * [Elle was shocked by this because she got in with a convincing video essay, while Warner had to be put in a waiting list for transfer students.]

 * [After watching Elle's video essay, many of the Harvard's faculty looked a bit dismayed, especially the head of admissions]
 * Admissions Rep 1: She does have a 4.0 from CULA and she got a 179 on LSATs.
 * Head of Admissions: Fashion major?
 * Admissions Rep 1: Well, sir, we've never had one before and aren't we always looking for diversity?
 * [Another Admissions representative looks through Elle's portfolio]
 * Admissions Rep 2: Her list of extra-curricular activities is impressive.
 * Head of Admissions: She was in a Ricky Martin video.
 * Admissions Rep 1: Clearly, she's interested in music.
 * Head of Admissions: She also designed a line of faux-fur panties for her sorority's charity project.
 * Admissions Rep 1: Uh-huh, she's a friend to the animals as well as a philanthropist.
 * Head of Admissions: Elle Woods. [pauses] Welcome to Harvard.

Cast

 * Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods
 * Matthew Davis - Warner Huntington III
 * Luke Wilson - Emmett Richmond
 * Victor Garber - Professor Callahan
 * Selma Blair - Vivian Kensington
 * Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette Bonafonté
 * Ali Larter - Brooke Wyndham

Taglines

 * This summer go blonde!
 * Boldly going where no blonde has gone.
 * Blondes DO have more fun!
 * Don't judge a book by its hair color!
 * Believing In Yourself NEVER Goes Out Of Style!
 * Meet Elle Woods. She's a lawyer with a heart of gold...and a mane to match!

title: Legally Blonde


text:
User:Jxn

My Wikipedia profile

title: User:Jxn


text:
Promissory estoppel

Promissory estoppel is a legal principle that is used to enforce agreements not normally binding.

Quotes

 * ...it is the first principle upon which all Courts of Equity proceed, that if parties who have entered into definite and disctinct terms involving certain legal results — certain penalties or legal forfeiture — afterwards by their own act or with their own consent enter upon a course of negotiation which has the effect of leading one of the parties to suppose that the strict rights arising under the contact will not be enforced, or will be kept in suspense, or held in abeyance, the person who otherwise might have enforced those rights will not be allowed to enforce them where it would be inequitable having regard to the dealings which are thus taken place between the parties.
 * Lord Cairnes in Hughes v. Metropolitan Railway Co. [1877]

 * The principle, as I understand it, is that whether one party has, by his words or conduct, made to the other a promise or assurance which was intended to affect the legal relations between them and to be acted on accordingly, then, once the other party has taken him at his word and acted on it, the one who gave the promise or assurance cannot afterwards be allowed to revert to the previous legal relations as if no such promise or assurance had been made by him, but he must accept their legal relations subject to the qualification which he himself has so introduced, even though it is not supported in point of law by any consideration, but only by his words.
 * Lord Denning in Combe v. Combe [1951]

 * A promise which the promisor should reasonably expect to induce action or forbearance on the part of the promisee or a third person and which does induce such action or forbearance is binding if injustice can be avoided only by enforcement of the promise.
 * Restatement (Second) of Contracts § 90(1) [1981]

title: Promissory estoppel


text:
User talk:Acohen843~enwikiquote

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Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Acohen843. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Acohen843~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

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title: User talk:Acohen843~enwikiquote


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User:Acohen843~enwikiquote

'About Me''

' I am a strong believer in the Open Source movement and the Creative Commons movement. I teach English as a Second Language and do some freelance Web work.

I believe my interest in this genre is based on a few principles and ideas. They are: * Society is losing its sense of community. Too many people are only interested in their own goals and beliefs. The idea of a common goal for members of a community is rare.

* Education is very expensive.

* Copyrights and intellectual property are becoming too restrictive.

* Everyone is influenced by others. Everyone, when developing themselves, borrows knowledge.

* Society benefits from shared knowledge.

I look forward to be an active member of this community.

title: User:Acohen843~enwikiquote


text:
Bai Juyi

Bai Juyi (also Bo Juyi or Po Chü-i; Chinese: 白居易; 772–846) was a renowned Chinese poet.

Quotes
Sitting there idly, filled only with emotions. Why should I trouble to play? A breeze will come and sweep the strings.
 * I lay my harp on the curved table,
 * "The Harp", in The White Pony: An Anthology Of Chinese Poetry (1949), ed. Robert Payne, p. 220

但觉衣裳湿，无点亦无声. The evening, lonely and chill. I felt the dampness on my garments, But saw no spot, and heard no sound of rain.
 * 漠漠秋云起，稍稍夜寒生.
 * Autumn clouds, vague and obscure;
 * 《微雨夜行》, "Walking at Night in Fine Rain" as translated in Reginald Horace Blyth's Haiku: Eastern Culture, Vol. I (Hokuseidō Shoten, 1950), p. 56; quoted in Alan Watts's Nature, Man and Woman (1958).

 * [Bai Juyi] utilized Confucianism to order his conduct, utilized Buddhism to cleanse his mind, and then utilized history, paintings, mountains, rivers, wine, music and song to soothe his spirit.
 * Composition for his own tomb inscription, as quoted in Lin Yutang's The Importance of Living (1940), p. 411

Arthur Waley's translations

 * Quotes from Translations from the Chinese by Arthur Waley

I went up ... and won unmerited praise. My high place I do not much prize; The joy of my parents will first make me proud.
 * For ten years I never left my books;
 * "After Passing the Examination" (A.D. 800)

Have I never once tended field or tree? My government-pay is three hundred tons; At the year's end I have still grain in hand. Thinking of this, secretly I grew ashamed.
 * ... by virtue of what right
 * "Watching the Reapers" (A.D. 806)

What comfort can the Doctrine of Tao give? It will teach me to watch the days and months fly Without grieving that Youth slips away; If the Fleeting World is but a long dream, It does not matter whether one is young or old.
 * When the Seasons' changes thus confront the mind
 * "At the End of Spring" (A.D. 810)

In early years, unprotected and poor. Alone, I learnt to distinguish between Evil and Good; Untutored, I toiled at bitter tasks. The World's Law honours Learning and Fame; Scholars prize marriages and Caps. With these fetters I gyved my own hands; Truly I became a much-deceived man. At ten years old I learnt to read books; At fifteen, I knew how to write prose. At twenty I was made a Bachelor of Arts; At thirty I became a Censor at the Court. Above, the duty I owe to Prince and parents; Below, the ties that bind me to wife and child. The support of my family, the service of my country— For these tasks my nature is not apt.
 * I was born in the Realms of Etiquette;
 * "Chu Ch'ēn Village" (A.D. 811)

I secretly took a huge stone and dashed it against my arm. For drawing the bow and waving the banner now wholly unfit; I knew henceforward I should not be sent to fight in Yün-nan. Bones broken and sinews wounded could not fail to hurt; I was ready enough to bear pain, if only I got back home. My arm—broken ever since; it was sixty years ago. One limb, although destroyed,—whole body safe! But even now on winter nights when the wind and rain blow From evening on till day's dawn I cannot sleep for pain. Not sleeping for pain Is a small thing to bear, Compared with the joy of being alive...
 * In the depth of the night not daring to let any one know
 * "The Old Man with the Broken Arm" (a satire on militarism)

How easily my mood changed from sad to gay. ... But now that age comes, A moment of joy is harder and harder to get.
 * I remember, when I was young,
 * "The Chrysanthemums in the Eastern Garden" (A.D. 812)

"A Song of Unending Sorrow"

 * Original title: 『長恨歌』 [Ch'ang hen ko]

 * Translation from The Jade Mountain: A Chinese Anthology by Witter Bynner

温泉水滑洗凝脂 Which warmed and smoothed the creamy-tinted crystal of her skin
 * 春寒賜浴華清池
 * ...It was early spring. They bathed her in the Flower-Pure Pool,

遂令天下父母心 不重生男重生女 She brought to every father, every mother through the empire, Happiness when a girl was born rather than a boy.
 * 可憐光彩生門戸
 * And, because she so illumined and glorified her clan,

在地願為連理枝 天長地久有時盡 此恨綿綿無絶期 And to grow together on the earth, two branches of one tree. Earth endures, heaven endures; some time both shall end, While this unending sorrow goes on and on for ever.
 * 在天願作比翼鳥
 * ...That we wished to fly in heaven, two birds with the wings of one,
 * The last four lines.

Unsourced

 * 琴詩酒友皆抛我 雪月花時最憶君
 * Friends on pipa, poetry and drinking all of them cast me away. When I see the snow, the moon or blossoms, I long for you deeply.
 * 「寄殷律協」

Quotes about Bai Juyi

 * Although there have been many wars in China, the natural outlook of the Chinese is very pacifistic. I do not know of any other country where a poet would have chosen, as Po-Chui did in one of the poems translated by Mr. Waley, called by him The Old Man with the Broken Arm, to make a hero of a recruit who maimed himself to escape military service.
 * Bertrand Russell, The Problem of China (1922), p. 195

 * The most striking characteristic of Po Chü-i's poetry is its verbal simplicity. There is a story that he was in the habit of reading his poems to an old peasant woman and altering any expression which she could not understand. The poems of his contemporaries were mere elegant diversions which enabled the scholar to display his erudition, or the literary juggler his dexterity. ... No poet in the world can ever have enjoyed greater contemporary popularity than Po.
 * Arthur Waley, A Hundred and Seventy Chinese Poems (1919), pp. 166 and 168

title: Bai Juyi


text:
User:Yu Ninjie~enwikiquote

This space has been purposely left blank.

Cao Cao Yuan Shao

title: User:Yu Ninjie~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Yu Ninjie~enwikiquote

If you have any comments to make, please remember to check back on this page for my reply.

 POST A COMMENT

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Hello,

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Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Yu Ninjie. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Yu Ninjie~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

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Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:39, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 06:01, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Yu Ninjie~enwikiquote


text:
Cao Cao

Cáo Cāo (Chinese: 曹操; Wade-Giles: Ts'ao Ts'ao; c. 155 – March 15, 220) was a Chinese military leader, a regional warlord and the penultimate chancellor of the Eastern Han Dynasty, who rose to great power during its final years in Ancient China. As one of the central figures of the Three Kingdoms period, he laid the foundations for what was to become the Kingdom of Wei (also known as Cáo Wèi) and was posthumously titled Emperor Wu of Wei (魏武帝)

Sourced

 * 「寧我負人，毋人負我！」
 * Translation: "I'd rather betray others, than have others betray me."
 * Statement in 190, after falsely killing Lü Boshe. Source: Sun Sheng Zaji, page 5 of Sanguo Zhi.

 * 「吾任天下之智力，以道御之，無所不可．」
 * "I would employ the wise and strong of the empire, using righteousness to lead them. In this way, nothing is impossible."
 * Statement by Cao Cao around 191 during a discussion with Yuan Shao. The two compare their long term strategies, with Cao giving an abstract approach. The conversation is generaly considered to be fictional, and recorded only for allegorical effect. Source: Sanguo Zhi, page 26.

 * 「彼各為其主，勿追也. 」
 * Translation: "Each man is for his lord, do not give chase."
 * Statement to his retainers in 200, referring to the recently left Guan Yu. Source: page 940 of Sanguo Zhi.

Attributed

 * 「宁可我负天下人，休叫天下人负我. 」
 * Translation: "I will rather I wronged all the people under the heavens than for all the people under the heavens to wrong me."
 * Statement to Chen Gong after falsely killing Lü Boshe and his household. Source: Romance of the Three Kingdoms. An adaptation of the Sanguo Zhi new 2010.
 * likely intentional misquote by the novel of the quote「宁我负人，毋人负我」above to add character to the story.

 * 「知错改错，不认错. 」
 * Translation: "Recognise and acknowledge your mistake, but never admit your mistake".
 * Statement to one of his advisors when he realised that Cao Cao made a mistake. Source: Romance of the Three Kingdoms. An adaptation of the Sanguo Zhi new 2010.

 * 「兵不在多在精，将不在猛在某」
 * Translation: "It's not size that counts in an army, but skill. It's not prowess that counts in a General, but finesse.".
 * Statement from Cao Cao to his advisors before he face Yuan Shao in the Battle of Guandu Source: Romance of the Three Kingdoms. An adaptation of the Sanguo Zhi new 2010.

title: Cao Cao


text:
Nick Cave

Nick Cave (born 22 September 1957) is an Australian musician, songwriter, poet, author and actor.

Music

 * The song is heroic because the song confronts death. The song is immortal and bravely stares down our own extinction. The song emerges from the spirit world with a true message: Some day I will tell you how to slay the dragon.
 * monologue in 20,000 Days on Earth

 * Do you want to know how to write a song? Song-writing is about counterpoint. Counterpoint is the key. Putting two disparate images beside each other and seeing which way the sparks fly. Like letting a small child in the same room as, I don't know, a Mongolian psychopath or something, and just sitting back and seeing what happens. Then you send in a clown, say, on a tricycle, and again, you wait, and you watch ... And if that doesn't do it... you shoot the clown.
 * in: 20,000 Days on Earth

 * Writing a good song is not mimicry, or replication, or pastiche, it is the opposite, it is an act of self-murder that destroys all one has strived to produce in the past. It is those dangerous, heart-stopping departures that catapult the artist beyond the limits of what he or she recognises as their known self. This is part of the authentic creative struggle that precedes the invention of a unique lyric of actual value; it is the breathless confrontation with one’s vulnerability, one’s perilousness, one’s smallness, pitted against a sense of sudden shocking discovery; it is the redemptive artistic act that stirs the heart of the listener, where the listener recognizes in the inner workings of the song their own blood, their own struggle, their own suffering.
 * I asked Chat GPT to write a song in the style of Nick Cave and this is what it produced. What do you think? The Red Hat Files, Issue #218, January 2023
 * "This song sucks": Nick Cave responds to ChatGPT song written in style of Nick Cave The Guardian (UK), January 17, 2023

God and religion

 * Do I personally believe in a personal God? No.
 * Interview in the Guardian in 2009. Nick Cave on the Death of Bunny Munroe. The Guardian Books Podcast, September 11, 2009.
 * God has matured. He is not the impulsive, bowelless being of the Testaments - the vehement glorymonger, with His bag of cheap carny tricks and his booming voice - the fiery huckster with his burning bushes and his wonder wands. Nowadays God knows what He wants and He knows who He wants.
 * Euchrid Eucrow in Cave's novel And the Ass Saw the Angel (1988)
 * My responsibility as an artist is to turn up at the page or the piano or the microphone. The rest is up to God.
 * The Daily Telegraph (Novevember 20, 1997)
 * The actualising of God through the medium of the love song remains my prime motivation as an artist.
 * Given during a lecture at the Vienna Poetry Festival (1998)
 * Of course I doubt [the existence of God], I would distrust anybody who didn't doubt. But I'm a believer. I have an understanding and belief in the divinity of things. It seems to me that people look at God in the wrong way. They think that God is there to serve them, but it's the other way around. God isn't some kind of cosmic bell-boy to be called upon to sort things out for us. It's important for us to realise that God has given us the potential to sort things out on our own.
 * Observer (May, 1998)
 * Oh, a passing, skeptical kind of interest. I'm a hammer-and-nails kind of guy.
 * Cave on his interest in Eastern and nontheistic spirituality
 * The concept of God in America is very different than it is in England. Because we see the horrendous outcome of religion as being an American thing, in which the name of God has been hijacked by a gang of psychopaths and bullies and homophobes, and the name of God has been used for their own twisted agendas. So that if you mention God, or a belief in God, in England, it's almost automatically associated with that kind of thinking. Religion's gotten a really bad name.
 * "The resurrection of Nick Cave", Salon (November 18, 2004)
 * Although I've never been an atheist, there are periods when I struggled with the whole thing. As someone who uses words, you need to able to justify your belief with language, I'd have arguments and the atheist always won because he'd go back to logic. Belief in God is illogical, it's absurd. There's no debate. I feel it intuitively, it comes from the heart, a magical place. But I still I fluctuate from day to day. Sometimes I feel very close to the notion of God, other times I don't. I used to see that as a failure. Now I see it as a strength, especially compared to the more fanatical notions of what God is. I think doubt is an essential part of belief.
 * Mojo (January, 2005)
 * God is in everything whether I’m mentioning him or not.
 * Cave's response to an interviewer calling Grinderman a "secular record"
 * "The Daily Grind", HARP Magazine (May, 2007)
 * The brutality of the Old Testament inspired me, the stories and grand gestures. I wrote that stuff up and it influenced the way I saw the world. What I'm trying to say is I didn't walk around in a rage thinking God is a hateful god. I was influenced by looking at the Bible, and it suited me in my life vision at the time to see things in that way. .... After a while I started to feel a little kinder and warmer to the world, and at the same time started to read the New Testament.
 * "Interview with Old Nick", The Guardian (February 23, 2008)
 * If you're involved with imagination and the creative process, it's not such a difficult thing to believe in a God. But I'm not involved in any religions, and I've never intended to make religious records or records that preach some kind of point of view.
 * "Interview with Nick Cave", musicOMH (March, 2008)

Ageing and death

 * The thing about being young is that you think you're the final product of evolution. You are invincible. And nothing can hurt you. And people don't count. Ah, the solipsism of youth.
 * Melody Maker (May, 1997)

Love and relationships

 * I don't particularly believe all love is doomed. But I guess, one is usually kinda suffering from some aborted love affair or association, rather than being at the peak of one. I think it's fairly obvious that a lot more suffering goes on in the name of love than the little happiness you can squeeze out of it. But I wouldn't like to dwell on it. Perhaps you could lighten up a bit.
 * Blissed Out: The Raptures of Rock, by Simon Reynolds (1988)
 * Love is a state that I would like to exist in continuously.
 * The Daily Telegraph (November 20, 1997)

Politics, society and humanity

 * My social conscience is fairly limited in a lot of ways; there's not much I'm angry about that doesn't affect me quite directly. But the prison system- not particularly capital punishment- but the penal system as it is, and the whole apparatus of judgement, people deciding on other people's fates... that does irritate, and upset me quite a lot. What angers me about the system goes beyond the unreliability of "proof"… it's that the way criminals are dealt with has nothing to do with rehabilitation and readjusting people who've stepped outside society's norms. The same goes for mental institutions and so forth. But it's also the very idea of someone being judged "criminal" or "insane" because they're unable to fit into what a corrupt society considers "social" or "sociable".
 * I think there's a certain numbness in modern society, that accepts certain kinds of violence, but represses other kinds of violence.
 * I'd rather see what makes me different as something almost congenital. And I have these inklings that what you commit or endure in this world, relates to some kind of justice or balance. Maybe if you get a bad deal in this world, it is because of something you did, or were, in a previous life. Which is why I don't feel sorry for the poor.
 * Blissed Out: The Raptures of Rock, by Simon Reynolds (1988)
 * 'N is for Any'
 * Nick Cave on spelling. -From Loverman (1994).

Books

 * Bunny takes another bite of his Big Mac and knows what everybody who is into this sort of things knows - that with its flaccid bun, its spongy meat, the cheese, the slimy little pickle and, of course, the briny special sauce, biting into a Big Mac is as close to eating pussy as, well, eating pussy.
 * The Death of Bunny Munro (2009)

 * The boy watches his father cross the road and thinks there is something about the way his dad moves through the world that is truly impressive. Cars screech to a halt, drives shake their fists and stick their heads out the windows and curse and blow their horns and Bunny walks on as if radiating some super-human force field, like he has walked off the pages of a comic book. The world can't touch him. He seems to be the grand generator of some hyper-powerful electricity.
 * The Death of Bunny Munro (2009)

And The Ass Saw The Angel

Zoo-Music Girl

 * The sound is beautiful, it's perfect! The sound of her young legs in stockings, The rhythm of her walk, it's beautiful! Just let it twist, let it break, Let it buckle, let it bend, I want to hear the noise of my Zoo-Music Girl.
 * My body is a monster driven insane, My heart is a fish toasted in flames.
 * Oh! God! Please let me die beneath her fists!

Nick the Stripper

 * Nick the Stripper, Hideous to the eye, Hideous to the eye, He's a fat little insect, A fat little insect, And oooooooh! Here we go again.

King Ink

 * King Ink strolls into town... He sniffs around.
 * Express thyself! Say something loudly! Aaaaaaah! What's in that room, Sonny?
 * King Ink feels like a bug, Swimming in a soup-bowl.
 * Oh! Yer! What a wonderful life! Fats Domino on the radio!

A Dead Song

 * Hit it! With words like Blood, Soldier and Mother...

Just You and Me

 * I tried to kill it in my bed, I gagged it with a pillow, But awoke the nuns inside my head.

She's Hit

 * Pilgrim gets 1 hacked daughter, And all we get are 40 hack reporters, Uptown 100 skirts are bleeding, And Mr. Evangilist says She's hit, ev'ry little bit.

Junkyard

 * I am the king! I am the king! I am the king! One dead marine through the hatch, Scratch and scrape this heavenly body, Every inch of winning skin, Honey Honey Honey Honey Honey, come and kiss me-e-e-e-e-e!

Release the Bats

 * My baby is alright, She doesn't mind a bit of dirt, She says 'Horror vampire bat bite, sex vampire, how I wish those bats would bite', Woooooah! Bite! Bite! Release the bats!

Cabin Fever!

 * The Captain's fore-arm like buncht-up rope, With Anita wrigglin' free onto skull n' dagger, And a portrait of Christ, nailed to an anchor, Etched into the upper...
 * Tallys up his loneliness, notch by notch, For the sea offers nuthin' to hold or touch.

Well of Misery

 * Along crags and sunless cracks I go, Up rib of rock, down spine of stone, I dare not slumber where the right winds whistle, Lest her creeping-soul clutch this heart of thistle.
 * Put ya shoulder to the handle, if ya dare, and hoist that bucket hither, Crank'n'hoist'n'hoist'n'crank, till ya muscles waste'n'wither.
 * O the same God that abandon'd her, Has in turn abandon'd me, Deep in the Desert of Despair, I wait at the Well of Misery.

From Her to Eternity

 * O ah hear her walkin', Walkin' barefoot 'cross the floor-boards, All thru this lonesome night, And ah hear her crying too. Hot-tears come splashin' down, Leaking thru the cracks, Down upon my face, ah catch'em in my mouth!
 * Ah read her diary on her sheets, Scrutinizin' every lil' piece of dirt, Tore out a page'n'stufft it inside my shirt. Fled outa the window, And shinning it down the vine, Outa her night-mare, and back into mine.

Saint Huck

 * 'O come to me!, O come to me!' is what the dirty city say to Huck.
 * Straight in the arms of the city goes Huck, Down the beckonin' streets of op-po-tunity, Whistling his favorite river-song... And a bad-blind nigger at the piano puts a sinister blooo lilt into that sing-a-long, Huck senses something's wrong!
 * The mo-o-o-on, its huge cycloptic eye, Watches the city streets contract, twist and cripple and crack.
 * O you recall the song ya used to sing-a-long, Shifting the river-trade on that ol' steamer, Life is but a dream!

A Box for Black Paul

 * When ya done ransackin' his room, Grabbin' any-damn-thing that shines, Throw the scraps down on the street, Like all his books and his notes. All his books and his notes and all the junk that he wrote, The whole fucken lot goes right up in smoke.
 * Here is the hammer, that build the scaffold, and built the box...
 * From the words and the thickets, Come the ghosts of his victims, 'We love you!' 'Ah love you!' This will not hurt a bit.
 * Death favours those that favour death.
 * Ah've cried one thousand tears, it's true.

Tupelo

 * Looka yonder! Looka yonder! A big black cloud come!
 * In a clap-board shack with a roof of tin, Where the rain came down and leaked within, A young mother frozen on a concrete floor, With a bottle and a box and a cradle of straw.
 * Well saturday gives what sunday steals, And a child is born on his brother's heels, Come sunday morn the first-born is dead, In a shoebox tied with a ribbon of red.
 * Tupelo-o-o! Hey, Tupelo! You will reap just what you sow.

Black Crow King

 * I just made a simple gesture, They jumped up and nailed it to my shadow, My gesture was a hooker, You know, my shadow's made of timber.
 * I am the black crow king, Keeper of the forgotten corn, The King!

Knockin' on Joe

 * O Warden, I surender to you, Your fists cain't hurt me anymore, You know, these hands will never wash, These dirty Death Row floors.
 * O You kings of halls and ends of halls, You will die within these walls, And I'll go, all down the row, Knockin' on Joe.

Blind Lemon Jefferson

 * Blind Lemon Jefferson is a-comin', Tap tap tappin', with his cane.
 * Here comes the Judgement train! Git on board!

The Six Strings That Drew Blood

 * Numbin' the runt of reputation they call rat frame, Top-E as a tourniquet, A low tune whistles across his grave, Forever the slave of his Six Strings.

Your Funeral… My Trial

 * A thousand Marys lured me, To feathered beds and fields of glover, Bird with crooked wing cast, Its wicked shadow over, A bauble moon did mock, And trinket stars did smile, Your funeral, my trial.

The Carny

 * The carny had a horse, all skin and bone, A bow-backed nag, that he named "Sorrow", Now it is buried in a shallow grave, In the then parched meadow.
 * And as the company passed from the valley, into a higher ground, The rain beat on the ridge and on the meadow, and on the mound, Until nothing was left, nothing at all except the body of Sorrow, That rose in time, to float upon the surface of the eaten soil.

The Mercy Seat

 * I hear stories from the chamber, How Christ was born into a manger, And like some ragged stranger died up on the cross, And might I say it seems to fitting in its way, He was a carpenter by trade, Or at least that's what I'm told.
 * In heaven His throne is made of gold, Where the ark of His testament is stowed, A throne from which I'm told all history does unfold, Down here it's made of wood and wire, And my body is on fire, And God is never far away.
 * And the mercy seat is melting, And I think my blood is boiling, And in a way I'm spoiling, All the fun with all this truth and consequence. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, And anyway I told the truth, And I'm not afraid to die.

Up Jumped the Devil

 * My oh My,what a wretched Life. I was born on the day that my poor mama died. I was cut from Her belly with a stanley knife. My daddy did a jig with the drunk midwife
 * O poor heart, I was doomed from the start, Doomed to play the villian's part, I was the baddest Johnny in the apple cart, My blood was blacker than the chambers of a dead nun's heart.
 * Who's that yonder all in flames? Draggin' behind him a sack of chains Who's that yonder all in flames? Up jumped the Devil and staked his claim

 * O no don't go O no O slow down Joe! The righteous path is straight as an arrow, Take a walk and you'll find it's too narrow, Too narrow for the likes of me.

Mercy

 * Thrown into a dungeon, Bread and water was my portion, Faith - my only weapon, To rest the devil's legion. The speak-hole would slide open, A viper's voice would pleade, A voice think with innuendo, Syphillis and greed.
 * The moon was turned toward me, Like a platter made of gold, My death, it almost bored me, So often was it told.

City of Refuge

 * In the days of madness, my brother, my sister, When you're dragged toward the Hell-mouth, You will beg for the end, but there ain't gonna be one, friend, For the grave will spew you out! It will spew you out!

New Morning

 * One morn I awakened, a new sun was shining, The sky was a kingdom, all covered in blood. The moon and the stars, where the troops that lay conquered, Like food left to wither, poor spirital food.
 * The spears of the bright sun, all brave with its conquest, Did hover unearthly, in banners of fire. I knelt in the garden, awash with the dawning, And a voice came so brightly, I covered my eyes.
 * Let there be no sadness, no sorrow, Let there be no road too narrow, There'll be a new day, and it's today, For all of us.

Wild World

 * Hold me up baby, for I may fall, Hold my dish-rag body tall, Our bodies melt together, we are one, Post-crucifixion baby, post-crucifixion and all undone.

Fears of Gun

 * Fingers down the throat of love! Love! Love!

Deep in the Woods

 * The woods eats the woman and dumps her honey-body in the mud, Her dress floats down the well and it assumes the shape of the body of a little girl, Yeah, I recognize that girl, She stumbled in some time last loneliness, But I could not stand to touch her now, My one and only onlyness.
 * I took her from rags right through to stitches, Oh baby, tonight we sleep in separate ditches.

Jennifer's Veil

 * Another ship ready to dock... the rigging comes loose... like Jennifer's Veil.

Mutiny in Heaven

 * If this is heaven ahm bailin' out!
 * Ah wassa born... And Lord shakin', even then was dumpt into some icy font, Like some great stinky unclean! From slum-chuch to slum-church, ah spilt mah heart to some fat cunt behind a screen...
 * Punishment? Reward! Punishment? Reward!
 * Well, ah tied on, percht on mah bed ah was, Sticken' a needle in mah arm, Ah tied off, Fucken wings burst out mah back!
 * Rats in paradise! Rats in paradise!

Quotes about Nick Cave

 * He is an Australian artist like Sidney Nolan is an Australian artist - beyond comparison, beyond genre, beyond dispute.
 * Ed St John, ARIA Awards Committee Chairman on Cave
 * Source: Nick Cave to enter ARIA Hall of Fame (2007)
 * I'm looking forward to working with Nick on something special one day. .... He has an amazing gift, a level of spirituality and self-realisation in his writing you don't often find. A Hemingway or Xavier Herbert of our time.
 * Russell Crowe on Cave
 * Source: Crowe praises Cave's 'Gladiator' script (2005)
 * Nick Cave and myself got up and did karaoke in Brisbane one night at this Mongolian BBQ karaoke restaurant. It was just a bunch of normal, Brisbane folk. Me and Nick got up to do "Fernado", "Sometimes When We Touch" and "He's Not Heavy, He's My Brother". I was just playing the straight man, but Nick was doing the whole Birthday Party bit, with the kneedrops and the 'Raarrggh!', running up to tables doing the cabaret terrorist act, kissing old ladies. They took it for two numbers, and by the third they'd had enough and wanted to go back to, well, enjoying their evening.
 * Tex Perkins
 * Source: Rolling Stone Magazine (July, 1993)
 * There was one review [of Stadium Arcadium] by an English newspaper where the guy really hated us and it was full of insults and descriptions about how terrible and worthless we are and how inane our music is. The guy mentioned that Nick Cave really thought we were a shitty band and printed a quote that Nick Cave had said in that regard. For a second that hurt my feelings because I love Nick Cave. I have all of his records. I don't care if Nick Cave hates my band because his music means everything to me and he is one of my favourite songwriters and singers and musicians of all time. I love all the incarnations of the Bad Seeds. But it only hurt my feelings for a second because my love for his music is bigger than all that shit and if he thinks my band is lame then that's OK.
 * Flea aka Michael Peter Balzary, bassist of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers
 * Source: Chili Pepper Hurt by Cave's Opinion (2006)
 * Nick Cave's making a lot of money, which is braindeath. I mean, going on tour with the same band for 20 years and playing the same songs–I don't care how you twist them, or torture the songs, you know? If it takes to be a posturing grandpa Wayne Newton-sounding bad Vegas-balladeer to get rich, I don't give a shit. I think this is lame. You know, he was one of the great poets and rocked like no other, but he's pathetic. How do these goth kids buy this crap? That's his genius; he's convinced goth kids to listen to their grandfathers' music.
 * Lydia Lunch, No Wave artist and past collaborator with Cave
 * Source: Lydia Lunch interview with Åke Strömer and Tobias Pålsson (2004)
 * I heard Nick Cave for the first time on an independent radio station in Australia, and the way he uses words is breathtaking. And it’s very melodic at the same time, very anthem-like. He also wrote a book called And the Ass Saw the Angel, from the perspective of a fetus in a womb. He’s really arrogant, but he can afford to be.
 * Portia de Rossi, commenting on Nick Cave in a list of her 10 favourite albums (Henry's Dream at #2)
 * Source: "The Bleaker the Better." (2006)
 * He taught me to never veer too far from who I am, but to go further, try different things, and never lose sight of myself at the core.
 * Kylie Minogue on Cave and how he has influenced her
 * Source: Nick Cave: Devil's advocate (1998)
 * Outside the world of politics, one person in the world of the arts I would mention as an influence is Nick Cave, another person who has been around since the late 1970s. He has developed and changed remarkably, whilst remaining true to his vision. He has been a great help to me as well, without his knowing it.
 * Andrew Bartlett, former leader of the Australian Democratic Party
 * Source: First Speech (1997)
 * I listen to his records and go to his concerts. That's the greatest compliment I can pay an artist.
 * Iggy Pop on Cave
 * Source: Nick Cave vs. Iggy Pop (1999)
 * On 30 March 1983 The Birthday Party played Los Angeles. Me and all the guys from Black Flag went to see them do two sets at a small place called The Roxy, and they were thoroughly godhead. They were one of the all-time premier live bands. .... I see Nick about once a year, which is about as much as I see anybody I don't work with. But that means when I do run into him it's really great to see him. He's an excellent human and I love him a lot and that's the bottom line, he's one of my favourite people, and I think he's a tremendous artist. He has a great band, too. The Bad Seeds are a band I will travel a great distance to see whenever possible. What Nick goes after is so incredibly interesting every time, because it's always different. He always takes chances. The art comes before the commerce. As far as the music business goes, he's one of the good guys. He's the real thing.
 * Henry Rollins when asked to recall the first time he met Cave
 * Source: How We Met (1997)

title: Nick Cave


text:
Charles Handy

Charles Handy (born 25 July 1932) is an Irish author/philosopher specialising in organisational behaviour and management. Among the ideas he has advanced are the "portfolio worker" and the "Shamrock Organization" (in which professional core workers, freelance workers and part-time/temporary routine workers each form one leaf of the "Shamrock").

Quotes

 * "Most of us prefer to walk backward into the future, a posture that may be uncomfortable but which at least allows us to keep on looking at familiar things as long as we can."
 * "Revisiting the Concept of the Corporation"

 * "To learn anything other than the stuff you find in books, you need to be able to experiment, to make mistakes, to accept feedback, and to try again. It doesn't matter whether you are learning to ride a bike or starting a new career, the cycle of experiment, feedback, and new experiment is always there. But you won't risk mistakes if you think you will be punished. You have to be sure of forgiveness if it is a genuine mistake. You won't accept criticism or negative feedback either, unless you are sure it comes from someone you respect, someone that you know has your interests at heart."
 * "The Hungry Spirit"

Misattributed

 * The first step is to measure whatever can easily be measured. This is OK as far as it goes. The second step is to disregard that which can't be easily measured or to give it an arbitrary quantitative value. This is artificial and misleading. The third step is to presume that what can't be measured easily really isn't important. This is blindness. The fourth step is to say that what can't be easily measured really doesn't exist. This is suicide.
 * This quote about the appears in The Empty Raincoat (1994). Sometimes attributed to Handy but actually from 1971 and written by Daniel Yankelovich.

title: Charles Handy


text:
Jomo Kenyatta

Jomo Kenyatta (20 October 1892? – 22 August 1978) was an African social activist and politician; the first Prime Minister (1963–1964) and first President (1964–1978) of an independent Kenya; born Kamau wa Ngengi, he was baptized John Peter in 1914, later changing his name to Johnstone Kamau, and finally to Jomo Kenyatta.

Quotes

 * I have no intention of retaliating or looking backwards. We are going to forget the past and look forward to the future.
 * (1964) Post-election statement. Virginia Morell, Ancestral Passions: The leakey Family and the Quest for Humankind's Beginnings, Copyright 1995, Chapter 19, beginning.

 * God said this is our land, land in which we flourish as people... we want our cattle to get fat on our land so that our children grow up in prosperity; and we do not want the fat removed to feed others.
 * From a speech given in Nyeri, Kenya (26 July 1952).

 * Unless we have a Government with capable officers to run it, then our Government will fall tomorrow. I want the people to understand this: that we have this policy of Africanization, as we have during the time we have taken over the Government; people are being trained for various posts, and when they are ready we shall give them responsibility, but we cannot take people just because they are black and say "All right, you run this, you run that." We have to learn by experience, and this is the policy of my Government. In our Kanu manifiesto, we state clearly that we are not going to discriminate because of race, colour or religion. We are going to treat Kenyans on an equal footing and the law of Kenya is going to apply to Europeans, Asians and Africans, those who are citizens of this country. They are going to be treated alike. We cannot have our cake and eat it. We have started our policy and we are going to follow it.
 * As quoted in Kenya National Assembly Official Record (Hansard) Jul 23 - Nov 29, 1963. p. 1223.

 * Some people try deliberately to exploit the colonial hangover for their own purpose, to serve an external force. To us, Communism is as bad as imperialism. What we want is to develop the Kenya Nationalism which helped us to win the struggle against imperialism. We do not want somebody else's nationalism. It is a sad mistake to think that you can get more food, more hospitals or schools by crying "Communism". "I am amused by those who suggest that we cannot condemn something we have not seen or tasted: I have even heard it said our only threat: is neo-colonialism from the West. I speak plainly on this subject today because the time has come for us to do so, in order to leave no room for confusion. I am happy that we have our Constitution, a document on African Socialism, and a Party Manifesto. These three documents have been endorsed by our people and Parliament and must be a guide to our new society. It is now for the public to judge the actions of the Government, and the utterances of all our leaders, according to what is laid.
 * Reported in Meredith, Martin. The Fate of Africa (1964), p. 266; in "Suffering Without Bitterness: The Founding of the Kenya Nation" (1968), East African Publishing House, distributed in U.S.A. by Northwestern University Press, p. 276; in Cherry J. Gertzel, Maure Leonard Goldschmidt, Donald S. Rothchild, (1969), "Government and Politics in Kenya: A Nation Building Text", University College Nairobi. Institute for Development Studies, East African Pub. Hse, p. 579; and in Guy Arnold (1974), "Kenyatta and the Politics of Kenya", Dent, p. 164.

 * Don't be fooled into turning to Communism looking for food.]]
 * Reported in Lamb, David. The Africans. p. 61.

 * Whether I am a Christian or not is none of your business. Mr. Speaker, I have nothing to add. My friend, I can see that your philosophy is running short; The Bible is not the property of one nation or of one group of people, it can be quoted by anyone, even you. I have nothing further to add to the answer that I have already given. I do, however, call upon the Kenya nation to wake up and help itself. Thank you.
 * Reply to someone who had just said and asked"All I can do it to call upon the nation to mind their own business that is to do their own work, instead of begging from other people: from the outside world. I think that even Almighty God said somewhere in the Bible that He only help those who help themselves... Are you a Christian?". As quoted in Kenya National Assembly Official Record (Hansard) Jul 23 - Nov 29, 1963, p. 1475.

 * The basis of any independent government is a national language, and we can no longer continue aping our former colonizers … those who feel they cannot do without English can as well pack up and go.
 * (1974) cited by David Crystal, "English as a Global Language" (2003), Cambridge University Press, ISBN 9780521530323, p. 124.

 * Nearly a quarter of a century has passed since this short book was first published . So much has happened in this time. In 1942, the book involved presentation that I described as 'history shading into legend'. Today, we in Kenya are making our own history, as an independent Republic. In the dark years of the war, when this work was written, social studies might have seemed absurdly academic, were it not for the living faith of a Christian society. A generation later, we find a new perspective, a greater and more universal enlightenment, brought about by swifter communications and mass media which probe into and make familiar all the social patterns of our human family.
 * In his Foreword of My People of Kikuyu: And, The Life of Chief Wangombe (1966), Oxford University Press.

 * When the Missionaries arrived, the Africans had the Land and the Missionaries had the Bible. They taught us how to pray with our eyes closed. When we opened them, they had the land and we had the Bible.
 * The oldest source found is a fiction play published by holocaust doubter Rolf Hochhuth, in The Deputy, a Christian tragedy (1964), Grove Press, p. 144. No reference to any historical or original source was given.
 * This has also been attributed to anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu; e.g. in Seeds of Conflict in a Haven of Peace: From Religious Studies to Interreligious Studies in Africa (2007), by Frans Jozef Servaas Wijsen.

title: Jomo Kenyatta


text:
Tom Waits

Thomas Alan Waits (born 7 December 1949) American composer, singer, songwriter, musician and actor.

Quotes

 * If I exorcise my devils, well, my angels may leave too.
 * "Please Call Me, Baby", The Heart of Saturday Night (1974).

 * And sometime around 2 AM you end up taking advantage of yourself. Ain't no way around that. Making a scene with a magazine.
 * Nighthawks at the Diner (1975).

 * Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk.
 * "Heartattack and Vine", Heartattack and Vine (1980).

 * I know a place where a royal flush can never beat a pair, and even Thomas Jefferson is On The Nickel over there.
 * "On The Nickel", Heartattack and Vine (1980).

 * How do the angels get to sleep / When the Devil leaves his porch light on?
 * "Mr. Siegal", Heartattack and Vine (1980).

 * I'm so goddamn horny, the crack of dawn better be careful around me!
 * Nighthawks at the Diner (1975).

 * Your veal cutlet gets up off the plate, It walks down to end of the counter and beat the shit out of my cup of coffee. I guess the coffee just wasn't strong enough to defend itself.
 * Nighthawks at the Diner (1975).

 * I don't have a drinking problem ‘cept when I can't get a drink.
 * "Bad Liver and a Broken Heart", Small Change (1976).

 * And the things you can’t remember tell the things you can forget, that history puts a saint in every dream.
 * "Time", Rain Dogs (1985).

 * The piano has been drinking, not me.
 * "The Piano Has Been Drinking", Small Change (1976).

 * If there's one thing you can say about mankind, there's nothing kind about man.
 * "Misery is the River of the World", Blood Money (2002).

 * What's he building in there? We have a right to know.
 * "What's He Building in There", Mule Variations (1999).

 * Come down off the cross, we can use the wood.
 * "Come On Up To The House", Mule Variations (1999).

 * And someone will head south 'til this whole thing cools off.
 * "Small Change", Small Change (1976).

 * And their mouths are cut like razor blades, and their eyes are like stilettos, and her radiator's steaming and her teeth are in a wreck, she won't let you kiss her, but what in the hell do you expect?
 * "Small Change", Small Change (1976).

 * If you get far enough away you'll be on your way back home.
 * "Blind Love", Rain Dogs (1985).

 * The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
 * "Step Right Up", Small Change (1976).

 * The face forgives the mirror, the worm forgives the plough, the question begs the answer, can you forgive me somehow?
 * "All the World is Green", Blood Money (2002).

 * Some men are searching for the Holy Grail, but there ain't nothing sweeter than riding the rail.
 * Pregnant women and Vietnam vets, beggin on the freeway, bout as hard as it gets.
 * "Cold Water", Mule Variations (1999).

 * Well, you know when you're the opening act for large groups? Sometimes you feel like a rectal thermometer, you're going out there taking the temperature of the audience.
 * Interview on "Late Show" (2002).

 * "Our Father, who art in Cribari, hallowed be thy glass. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in the lounges. Give us this day our daily splash, and forgive us our hangovers as we forgive those who continue to hangover against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...and somebody give us all a ride home."
 * The live recording of "The Piano Has Been Drinking", "Bounced Checks" (1981).

 * "Disneyland is Vegas for children. When I went with the kids, I just about had a stroke. It's the opposite of what they say it is. It's not a place to nurture the imagination. It's just a big clearance sale for useless items. I'm not going back, and the kids won't be allowed to return until they're eighteen, out of the house. And even then, I would block their decision."
 * Playboy 20 Questions, March 1988.

 * (When asked for advice for younger musicians) "Break windows, smoke cigars, and stay up late. Tell 'em to do that, they'll find a little pot of gold."
 * Musician magazine, October 1987.

 * The dog won't bite if you beat Him with a bone
 * "Lowside of the Road", Mule Variations (1999).

 * "She's been married so many times she's got rice marks all over her face"
 * Nighthawks at the Diner (1975).

 * I collaborate with my wife on the songs, and every aspect of it, really— composing, and arranging, and recording, all that business. We have a rhythm and a way of working it. It's kind of like borrowing the same ten bucks from somebody over and over again. But when you live together, it makes it a lot easier, the pay back.
 * Interviewed on Fresh Air, 2002-05-21.

 * The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering. It cheapens and degrades the human experience, when it should inspire and elevate.
 * Interviewed by J. T. LeRoy, "Strange Innocence," Vanity Fair, July 2001

 * We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness....We are monkeys with money and guns.
 * Interview All Songs Considered, NPR, May 20, 2008

Quotes About Tom Waits

 * "I always wondered how Tom Waits would sing 'Greensleeves'...." --Loreena McKennitt, "The Visit".

title: Tom Waits