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Courage the Cowardly Dog

Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999-2002) is an American animated show about a pink and easily frightened, still brave dog named Courage who lives in a farmhouse with Muriel Bagge, a friendly, sweet-natured yet naive Scottish woman; and Eustace Bagge, a grumpy, greedy farmer who regularly mistreats Courage and often refers to him as a "stupid dog".

Courage the Cowardly Dog

 * AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 * It's Muriel! She's in trouble!
 * Muriel, I'll save you!
 * The things I do for love.
 * I know I'm not gonna like this.
 * I just know something bad is going to happen.
 * Something smells fishy, or my name is 'Stinky Lou Lou'...and thank goodness it's not!
 * ...or my name is [random name] ... and it's not!
 * What do I do?! What do I do?!

Muriel Bagge

 * Courage!
 * Would you like a cup of tea?
 * Needs vinegar!
 * Oh, my.
 * They can take my old photos, they can take my identity. But when they take my Courage, they've gone too far!

Eustace Bagge

 * Stupid dog!
 * OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!
 * Ow! What did I do?
 * What's huh?
 * Get away from me!
 * Muriel, where's my dinner?!
 * Muriel, HUNGRY!

Ma Bagge

 * Oh, hello, Courage! Good to see ya.
 * Eustace, you stupid boy!
 * Where's my stupid son?
 * Your pa was a real man! You can't fill his shoes!

Katz

 * I'm sorry, no dogs allowed.
 * I wish you hadn't done that.
 * There's no place to run, and no place to hide.
 * Welcome to [place]. I'm Katz.

Dr. Vindaloo

 * There's nothing I can do, nothing at all.
 * Just keep soaking it.
 * There's nothing to worry about, nothing at all.

Le Quack

 * Qu'est-ce que c'est? [English: What is this?]
 * You haven't seen the last of Le Quack!

Computer

 * [recurring line] You twit.

Di Lung

 * Watch where you going, ya fool!
 * I don't think so/I think so.

A Night at the Katz Motel [1.1a]

 * Katz: A little sport before dying, dear boy?

 * Katz: [after he gets injured] I wish you hadn't done that.

 * Muriel: Come on, Courage! We're leaving. The service here stinks!

Cajun Granny Stew [1.1b]

 * Courage: [floating in the air with a balloon tied onto him while searching for Muriel with a pair of binoculars] MURIEL! MURIEL!

 * Courage: This is all your fault!
 * Cajun Fox: MY fault?!
 * Courage: Yeah! You're trying to make a stew out of her!
 * Cajun Fox: And a right GOOD one she gonna be!

Shadow of Courage [1.2a]

 * Eustace: BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA!

 * Courage: I don't know how to make it in show biz, but up there [looks to the sky] are the real stars.

Dr. Le Quack, Amnesia Specialist [1.2b]

 * Le Quack: Come here, you pesky little doggy!
 * Le Quack: How annoying.

 * [Le Quack, wearing a police uniform, is walking away from the destroyed police paddy wagon]
 * Le Quack: [stops the iris out from closing] Wait, you have not seen the last of Le Quack. [laughs evilly, then the iris out closes on his beak] Ouch!

Courage Meets Bigfoot [1.3a]
Bigfoot: "Mommy!"

Hothead [1.3b]

 * Eustace: You look good enough to me.

 * Courage: Something smells fishy, or my name's Shlinken Hoffer...and it's not.

 * Courage: "WARNING: When using, do not get angry, do not get mad, do not get upset, or else"?!

 * Di Lung: Watch where you're going, you fool!

Demon in the Mattress [1.4a]

 * Eustace Bagg: [reading an exorcism incantation] Hullabaloo, and howdy doo! Musty prawns, and Timbucktu! Yeltsy-by, and hibbety-hoo! Kick 'em in the dishpan! Hoo hoo hoo! [looks confused] Kick 'em in the dishpan, hoo hoo hoo?

Freaky Fred [1.4b]

 * Eustace Bagg: That freak's not setting one freaky foot in this house!

 * Freaky Fred: Hello new friend my name is Fred, the words you hear are in my head. I say, I said my name is Fred and I've been very...NAUGHTY.

Mother's Day [1.5b]

 * Eustace: No, Ma. You always looked good to me.

The Duck Brothers [1.6a]

 * Italian Cook: Hey! Bring that duck back! What am I gonna serve?
 * Courage: Strudel!
 * Italian Cook: Oh! Good idea!

Shirley the Medium [1.6b]

 * Eustace Bagg: Our differences are settled...! He's dead and I ain't! [Eustace on his late brother to Muriel]

King Ramses' Curse [1.7a]

 * Eustace Bagge: Well, judging by the markings and the obvious age of the relic, I'd have to say it would be...garbage! [throws the slab out the open window]
 * Muriel: Eustace!
 * [Courage runs over to the window and peers out at the discarded slab. Eustace turns on the TV]
 * Eustace Bagge: Garbage! From King Garbage of the Garbage Dynasty. Stupid dog. Always bringing garbage into the house.

 * King Ramses: Return the slab.
 * Eustace Bagge: What?
 * King Ramses: Return the slab or suffer my curse.
 * Eustace Bagge: What's your offer?
 * King Ramses: This night you will be visited by three plagues, each worse than the last. Return the slab.

 * King Ramses: Oh, come on.

 * Eustace Bagge: Ha! That's three plagues! You're out of ammo, mister! [snickers] And don't think you can come around here pushing no tote bags on us neither.

 * [Last lines]
 * Prof. Frith: At last, the allegedly cursed slab has been returned to King Ramses' crypt, where it will remain buried in antiquity for all time. [the tv shows a picture of a pyramid in the desert]
 * Muriel: Oh, I wonder where Eustace is.
 * [Cut to the interior of Ramses' crypt. It is a room made of white marble, with gilded columns on each side. In the center is Ramses' sarcophagus, also made of marble. The slab that had been broken off has been returned to its original state, but with a significant change. The image of Ramses has been replaced with that of a screaming Eustace]
 * Eustace Bagge: [echoing, from offscreen] Aah! What's your offer?

The Clutching Foot [1.7b]

 * Pinky Toe: See what? See what?
 * Big Toe: See this!

 * Big Toe: Or the fat lady gets it, see?
 * Little Toes: Yeah! The fat lady gets it!
 * Pinky Toe: Yeah! The fat lady gets it!

 * Big Toe: Get going, or I'll put the squeeze on the fat lady, see?

 * Courage: I don't know why I thought that would work.

 * Big Toe: Dumb dog, you blow up the money! Quick dog! Get us out of here!

 * Big Toe: Yeah! You dumb dog! You made me kick too hard, see?

 * Big Toe: We're gonna knock over Florida, see?
 * Little Toes: Yeah! Florida!
 * Pinky Toe: Yeah! Florida! Where's Florida?
 * Muriel: But knocking over Florida is against the law. I think.

 * Computer: A fungus? Did you think about regular bathing?
 * Courage: Not me, the farmer! *His* Foot!
 * Computer: I'm not surprised. Well, if you want a cure, you're going to have to bring me a sample.

 * Big Toe: Tampa, Ft. Lauderdale, St. Pete, Miami, but not Boca. They can keep Boca. I hate Boca.

 * Computer: YUCH! PTOOIE! Nasty! There's only one cure for that: Dog spit. Work up a good drool, baby.

 * Big Toe: And then, the Brass Ring, the Pot of Gold, the Big Bazoolie, the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre.

 * Eustace: Wool...socks...

 * Big Tongue: Yeah! A big heist, see? Okay, listen up! Here's the plan, see? Okay, dog. It's like this. Or the fat lady gets it, see?

The Hunchback of Nowhere [1.8a]

 * [As the Hunchback, Courage's new friend, is invited for pancakes for breakfast with Courage, Eustace enters the kitchen and screams at the Hunchback. He and Courage gasp]
 * Muriel: Ooh!
 * Eustace: Didn't I tell ya we got no place for the likes of you? Now get, and stay out!
 * Muriel: Now, Eustace, he is Courage's friend.
 * Eustace: That makes it worse!
 * Muriel: Oh, Eustace, don't make such a fuss. Now sit down and eat your breakfast. I'll even get those little blueberries you like so much.

The Snowman Cometh [1.10a]

 * Snowman: The first frozen snowman. That's not too shabby.

 * Eustace: That's what I tell him all the time! You stupid dog, you stupid dog. He don't do nothin' right.

Heads of Beef [1.11a]

 * Eustace: Where's my dinner? You were gonna make hamburgers!

 * Eustace: Where's my burger?
 * Jon Bon: Coming right up!
 * Courage: Something smells fishy, or my name is Stinky Looloo...and thank goodness, it's not!

 * Eustace: Stupid dog! OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

 * Jon Bon's Wife: I still wanna sink my teeth into that cute little dog.

Klub Katz [1.11b]

 * Eustace: No sir. Not getting out of this chair!

 * Muriel: The fresh air, the blue seas, the sky forever.
 * Eustace: Blah blah blah! Where's my chair?

 * Eustace: Stupid helicopter dog!

 * Katz: Hey! That's my washing machine!
 * Eustace: Hey! That's my chair!

The Revenge of the Chicken from Outer Space [1.12a]

 * [Courage and Muriel are sitting on the porch]
 * Muriel: Oh! There's Eustace with my slipper.
 * [Eustace, headless and carrying Muriel's slipper, walks towards Courage and Muriel]
 * Courage: [screams in horror, then stops the iris out from closing] This still shouldn't happen to a dog. [The iris out closes on his nose] Ow!

Little Muriel [1.13a]

 * Little Muriel: [after Courage makes Macaroni and Cheese] This stinks. I hate it this way.
 * Courage: What's wrong with it?
 * Little Muriel: Less cheese. More macaroni. Less macaroni. More cheese! More cheese and macaroni. TOO MUCH MACARONI! Ooh, perfect! I hate macaroni and cheese.

 * Courage: [fed up] Okay, that's it! Go to your room!

The Great Fusilli [1.13b]

 * Fusilli: How now, brown cow.

The Magic Tree of Nowhere [2.1a]

 * Dr. Vindaloo: Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is the worst case of boli-boli I have ever seen.
 * Eustace: What?
 * Courage: No!

 * Eustace: CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!

 * Instant Eel: Oh, Danny Boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling.

 * Dr. Vindaloo: Aha! Nothing to worry about... But, there's nothing I can do. [leaves through the front door. Courage yanks on his ears, hops around, and howls in frustration]
 * Eustace: This is all your fault, dog. You and that rotten tree. Now I gotta order take-out for breakfast. [picks Courage up and boots him out the front door] Stupid dog!

The Curse of Shirley [2.2a]

 * [Eustace is sitting on the roof.]
 * Eustace: Bah. Ain't no such thing as curses. [wipes the rain from his glasses] No way, no how. [takes off his glasses and wipes them with a cloth, but is startled by lightning strikes from the cloud, causing his glasses to fly out of his hand and land on the edge of the roof] Hey! My glasses! No! I-I-I can't see! Where?! Where?! [sees a TV antenna] Huh? Muriel? [hallucinates the antenna as a wiry monster, then rubs his eyes] You're not Muriel! [starts wrestling with the antenna as Courage comes up with a blanket] Get off my roof! I don't know who you are! [sees Courage] Huh? Huh? [hallucinates Courage as a giant, sharp-toothed fish, then growls in rage] No solicitors! [charges towards Courage, who screams in fear, and grabs Courage by the throat] Now you get! We don't want any! [throws Courage off the roof]

 * Eustace: No solicitors! Especially at this hour! You wanna piece of me!? You wanna piece of me!?

 * Shirley the Medium: The stupid one. He's stupid, right?

 * [Eustace sneezes. Muriel puts a thermometer in his mouth. He grumbles]
 * Muriel: You know, Eustace. You should thank Courage for getting rid of that curse.
 * Eustace: [takes the thermometer out of his mouth and notices Courage wearing his hat] What you doing with my hat, dog? Bah! [snatches the hat from Courage and puts it on his own head, causing the cloud to reappear] Bah! There ain't no such thing as a curse. [gets struck by lightning] Bah!

Family Business [2.3a]

 * Basil: Zip your mouth shut, dag. Or I'll be fishing you again, I will. ''

Human Habitrail [2.5a]

 * Old Lady Inside Vacuum Cleaner: Let me lay down the ground rules: This is my half of the lint, that's your half of the lint. Remember that and we won't have no trouble.

Mission to the Sun [2.5b]

 * Eustace: Lousy, stinkin' tube food! [tastes the tube food] Hey, this ain't half bad!

 * Eustace: Stupid space!

Courage the Fly [2.6a]

 * Di Lung: Look, I invent extra toe!

 * Di Lung: I can made you different!

 * Di Lung: [after turning Courage into a fly] I don't think so. Supposed to be buffalo. Don't know how, but I go back and work on problem. Should be buffalo...Fly...I don't think so.

 * Courage: I don't know why I'm doing this. But I like it.

 * Eustace: Stupid dog-fly!

 * Di Lung: ''[after turning the general and lieutenant into buffalo] I make you different!

Katz Kandy [2.6b]

 * Eustace: Stupid water.

 * Eustace: I hope that's the sound of dinner getting made in there.

 * Katz: [trying to make Courage lose in staring contest] Blink! Blink! Blink!

 * Eustace: BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA!

 * Katz: Sad, isn't it?

Bad Hair Day [2.8a]

 * Dr. Vindaloo: I was confused by my submarine.

 * [Muriel is sipping tea as Courage uses tweezers to pull out hair from her legs. Eustace arrives home covered head to toe in hair, laughing]
 * Muriel: Eustace! What happened to you?
 * Eustace: [pulls out stacks of money, happily] Money! [starts laughing]

Forbidden Hat of Gold [2.8b]

 * [Eustace reaches his hand out to get the gold hat but Muriel smacks it away]
 * Muriel: Can't you read? [points to a sign reading…] "Do not touch."
 * Eustace: Nope. [chuckles as he takes the gold hat, ignoring the sign]
 * [The cave suddenly starts to rumble]
 * Muriel: Now see what you went and done, Eustace?

 * Eustace: [After being turned to ashes by the gold hat] Stupid hat!

McPhearson Phantom [2.11b]

 * [While Muriel folds the last shirt, Courage is relaxing inside a wash basket]
 * Muriel: Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Ah, the power of doing housework. [puts the last shirt on top of the three shirts she had already folded. Eustace, wearing a towel, walks into the room. He grabs his shirt that was underneath the three shirts Muriel had folded and pulls it out, causing the three shirts to fall to the floor; annoyed] Eustace.
 * Eustace: Uh, sorry. You had the pile upside down.
 * [As Muriel picks up the three shirts, Eustace takes off his towel and starts to put on his shirt. Muriel starts to fold a shirt]
 * Muriel: Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards.
 * [Eustace starts to button his shirt, but his arms are telekinetically pulled straight down and bended backwards and his back is telekinetically bended backwards. Courage gasps in horror]
 * Eustace: Muriel, you folded me clothes too tight. What are you trying to do to me?
 * Muriel: I didn't do anything different, just the usual wash and fluff and fold. Must be the new detergent I'm using.
 * [Eustace grumbles angrily. He uses his feet to push himself up and walks out while muttering to himself. Courage and Muriel watch on]

 * [While Eustace reads his newspaper, Muriel polishes his shoes]
 * Muriel: Beautiful. A good shine can make an old woman look young again.
 * Eustace: [lowers his newspaper] Ain't nothing gonna make you young again. [puts down his newspaper] So just give me my shoes.
 * Muriel: [gets up and gives Eustace his shoes] Here you are, [Eustace takes his shoes from her] crabby.
 * Eustace: [puts on his shoes] Eh, who needs them polished anyway? Just gonna get scuffed. Stupid as showering.[Courage is gnawing on an anchor when Eustace's shoes explode] Muriel! What are you trying to do to me? [grabs his leg] Next time you wanna blow up my shoes, take 'em out back!
 * Muriel: But I shined them just like always. Maybe they've changed the shoe polish formula.

 * [Eustace is standing outside when Muriel comes out with his hat]
 * Muriel: There it is for you, Eustace. I steamed it and blocked it, like always. [gives Eustace his hat]
 * [Courage comes outside sniffing]
 * Eustace: Thanks. [takes his hat from Muriel and puts it on his head, but the two chickens that were inside the hat start pecking on Eustace's head. Eustace runs around screaming in pain]
 * [Courage and Muriel watch on]
 * Muriel: Must be something new they're putting in the steam.

 * [Muriel is sitting with Courage on the rocking chair]
 * Muriel: Some therapist she is. If only we had someone here who could really help.
 * [Courage gets an idea. He runs upstairs]

 * [Courage is in the attic, typing on the computer]
 * Computer: You want to be a licensed therapist? A twit like you? [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] Okay. Don't get testy. I happen to be certified to certify. Just answer these questions and you'll have your license.
 * Courage: Mm-hm.
 * Computer: One: How do you spell, "our time is up, pay me lots of money?" [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] There's no Q in Cincinnati. Twerp. Next question: If Johnny has three apples and Davey has two apples, why don't they just shut up and eat?
 * [Courage is unsure on how to answer the question]

 * [Courage is in the attic]
 * Computer: Congratulations. You are now a fully licensed therapist. [the printer prints out a therapist license, which Courage takes out and looks at. He runs out] Word of advice. Just keep nodding and don't say anything. And so Western civilization crumbles.

The House of Discontent [2.12a]

 * Spirit of the Harvest Moon: GET OUT.
 * Muriel: Well that's not very polite!
 * Spirit of the Harvest Moon: You didn't let me finish.
 * Muriel: I'm sorry.
 * Spirit of the Harvest Moon: It's time to hit the road.
 * Muriel: Well, that's not much better!

 * Eustace: I'm a farmer! Farmer, farmer, farmer! Ain't stubborn! Ain't, ain't, ain't!

 * Eustace: At least I got arms and legs, you don't even got a neck. Ha ha ha!
 * Spirit of the Harvest Moon: Get out of my face.
 * Eustace: Make me.
 * Spirit of the Harvest Moon: Wait until midnight comes around.

The Sand Whale Strikes [2.12b]

 * Sand Whale: You're trying to cheat me like you cheated me before, lckett Bagge. You won that accordion off me in a crooked card game a long time ago and I want it back.
 * Eustace: Naw. I ain't lckett, I ain't got no accordion, and I don't wanna be talking to no whale.

The Tower of Dr. Zalost [2.13]

 * Dr. Zalost: What's the good of having all the money in the world if it doesn't bring any happiness? And if I'm not happy, no one deserves to be happy.

Muriel Meets Her Match [3.1a]

 * Muriel: I guess the only thing I can see without my glasses is Eustace's big shiny head.

Courage vs. Mecha-Courage [3.1b]

 * Di Lung: [laughs] I told you I built better dog. Why You No give up?! Dog! You no good, give me up dog! No Good!

Campsite of Terror [3.2a]

 * Di Lung: Get rich quick! It works REAL great, I did it, and so can you! All you have to do to learn the secret of my success is send me money! Thats right, it's as simple as that, get out your checkbook, credit card and wallet and send them to ME! When I came to this country, three weeks ago, I only had a nickel. Now I own three apartment buildings and a fleet of limousines!

The Ride of the Valkyries [3.4b]

 * Eustace: Idiot TV! Talk normal!

Feast of the Bullfrogs [3.7a]

 * Eustace: Lousy stinkin' frogs! I'm getting me mallet!

Mondo Magic [3.9a]

 * Dr. Vindaloo: I am no longer a head of lettuce!

Watch the Birdies [3.9b]

 * Eustace: Where's my breakfast, woman? I'm starving to death!

 * Eustace: I like to feed the birdies to the cats!

Dome of Doom [3.11a]

 * Eustace: Food? Food? I need food! Where's my lunch?
 * Muriel: Right here.

 * Courage: Ingredients. Hornets, Pythons, Piranhas!? OH NO!

 * Eustace: Want more... food. AAAH! Oh, wicket! Where's my dinner?

Snowman's Revenge [3.11b]

 * The Snowman: Ah. Tutti frutti.

Le Quack Balloon [4.3a]

 * Le Quack: Le Quack is back!

Farmer Hunter, Farmer Hunted [4.4b]

 * Eustace: I ain't useless! I'm Eustace!

 * Father Deer: Every hunting season it's the same thing. We can't take it anymore. I'm gonna put an end to our living in fear. I'm going hunting! [holds his gun] A deer's gotta do what a deer's gotta do.

 * Eustace: Oh, wicket! Who the heck are you?

The Mask [4.7]

 * Kitty: Dogs are evil.

 * Mad Dog: I take you from a two-bit joint and make you a class act, and you want to make me second rate? If I even SMELL Kitty, I'll bury the two of you!

 * Muriel: Oh, Eustace. I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said.
 * Eustace: That's okay Muriel, nobody's perfect.
 * [They embrace]
 * Muriel: I wonder where Courage has run off to.
 * Eustace: Who cares?

Squatting Tiger, Hidden Dog [4.8a]

 * Di Lung: Watch where you going, ya fool!

 * Di Lung: Yo, Aunty! What's up?

 * Di Lung: Oh no! That's your magic silkworm! It sure is transcending this life. Bye-bye, magic silkworm!

 * Di Lung: Okay, Aunty. I go find someone truly innocent.

 * Di Lung: Hey, lady with innocent soul! I be your tour guide—show you Great Wall.

 * Di Lung: I loosen your ankles, when I remove your bones!

 * Di Lung: This not acupuncture, this de-boning, I taking our your bones.

 * Di Lung: [Gasp] The good empress, back to reclaim throne! I not carry out resort torture for evil empress! Not de-boning... re-boning!

Muted Muriel [4.8b]

 * Eustace: Hey, stupid dog, Muriel talking yet?
 * Courage: Mm-mm.
 * Eustace: Well go get her to talk, dog! I wanna know if she's gonna make me breakfast!

 * Muriel: I've had it with you not caring what I think or say!
 * Eustace: They should make a remote that shuts off people!
 * Muriel: Don't worry, I'm shutting myself off! I'm not speaking anymore, listen to the TV all you want. You won't be hearing from me again! [Courage tries to protest] Sorry, Courage. My voice isn't welcome in this house, so I'm keeping my thoughts to myself.

Aqua-Farmer [4.9a]

 * [Eustace meets up with Courage and Muriel.]
 * Muriel: Eustace, what took you so long?
 * Eustace: We had to work out a deal for the rematch. If I lose, you're gonna have to pack up your things and move in with the dolphin, and be his sidekick.
 * Muriel: [Shocked] Oh, dear.
 * [Muriel has a thought bubble about living with Jojo as a mermaid.]
 * Courage: [Horrified] No!

Ball of Revenge [4.11b]

 * Muriel: Eustace, what's all the ruckus?
 * Eustace: What ruckus?
 * Villains: Destroy the stupid dog!
 * Eustace: Eh...
 * Cajun Fox: Lie, man, lie.
 * Eustace: That's my friends. It's a men's club. And no dogs allowed.

 * Muriel: Courage, what big lungs you have.

 * Eustace: Courage, Courage, Courage! That stupid dog gets all the good stuff around here! I hate that dumb dog!

Cabaret Courage [4.12a]

 * Di Lung: Watch where ya goin', ya fool!

Remembrance of Courage Past [4.13a]

 * [Flashback to the first time Courage met Muriel]
 * Muriel: Oh my. Poor thing, out here all alone... what courage you have. Would you like to come home with me?
 * [Courage cries in joy]
 * Muriel: I'll call you Courage, we'll have a grand time.
 * Cruel Veterinarian: "May I talk with the two of you for a moment? In private?"
 * Cruel Veterinarian: "I know just what to do with the dog, but I like to have a moment with him, alone."
 * Cruel Veterinarian: "Ready for the trip? It's your turn now!"

Cast

 * Marty Grabstein
 * Thea White
 * Lionel G. Wilson
 * Arthur Anderson
 * Simon Prebble
 * Paul Schoeffler
 * Billie Lou Watt
 * Peter Fernandez
 * Arnold Stang

title: Courage the Cowardly Dog


text:
David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty

David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty (17 January 1871 – 11 March 1936) was an admiral in the Royal Navy. From 1914 onwards he commanded the British battle cruiser fleet stationed at Scapa Flow as a component of the British Grand Fleet.

Quotes

 * There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today.
 * On the British battlecruiser losses in the early portion of the Battle of Jutland (1916), as quoted in The Rules of the Game : Jutland and British Naval Command (2005) by Andrew Gordon, p. 120

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty


text:
Vampire in Brooklyn

Vampire in Brooklyn is a 1995 dark comedy film about the last vampire trying to find a mate in Brooklyn.
 * Directed by Wes Craven. Written by Charles Q. Murphy, Michael Lucker, and Chris Parker, based on a story by Eddie Murphy, Vernon Lynch, and Charles Q. Murphy.

A comic tale of horror and seduction.

Maximillian

 * [Opening Voiceover] A long, long time ago, Nosferatu, the undead, the race of the Vampire were driven from Egypt.  Most fled to the Carpathian Mountains of Transylvania, but others of better taste, including myself, travelled south through Africa and over the Atlantic, to a beautiful island hidden deep in the Bermuda Triangle.  There we lived for happy centuries, feasting on the blood of unwary travellers.  Until discovered by the hunters once again.  Then the blood that spilled was our own.  I, alone, escaped.  But a Vampire-alone is a Vampire doomed.  My chance was to find the one known offspring of our tribe that had been born in a foreign land.  A woman, somewhere in this place, called Brooklyn...

 * Interesting. I've been stabbed, and I've been hanged, and I've been burned.  Even broken on the rack once, but I've never been shot before.  It kind of itches a little. You have quite decent aim, though. But next time... [rips out Tony's beating heart as Anthony and Julius watche in sheer horror; growls] put a little HEART INTO IT!
 * [As Preacher Pauley] Evil is good, and ass is good, and if you find you a piece of evil ass, WOO!

 * [after being staked in gut] Let me give you an anatomy lesson. This [points] is my stomach. This [points] is my heart. Stomach. Heart. Stomach. Heart.

Julius Jones

 * Ohh, betting on the the Knicks... when will you learn?
 * [cornered by Maximillian] Hey, yo, man I don't know how you know me, but, uh, everything is everything.  I ain't seen nothin', okay?  So you can go ahead and just jump right back through the window, man.  I won't tell anybody I saw you, 'cause I ain't really seen you!  You know I'm blind!  I got, like cataracts, I mean, um, contacts.  I got astigmatism, man.  I can't see; I'm blind.  Where you at?  Where you at?  See, look.  Where you at?  Huh? Where you at?

 * Welcome to the party, Unc. Now let's get this show on the road...There's a new Vampire in Brooklyn, and his name is Julius Jones!

Silas Green

 * Call me, baby, call Silas.
 * Who's driving this vessel? Stevie fucking Wonder?

Dr. Zeko

 * Keep your faith, Detective. If I know one thing, its this, you'll need it!

Dialogue

 * Det. Justice: So you say you saw... what?
 * Silas Green: It was a wolf godammit! A big, black, stinking-ass wolf.  The motherfucker jumped off the boat and ran over there.  And when it got there the son of a bitch turned into a man.  He did the flippflopp shit on me...  Just like whore I used to know in Detroit back in 62.  I'd go over her house on saturday night... she loved me, man. Bitch made me chicken and some pretzels!  I'd come through the door, she's a man! Flippfloppin' and shit.  You ever seen a motherfucker flippflopp on you and shit like that?  In your face trying to flippflopp and shit!
 * Det. Justice: So the wolf you saw looked something like that?
 * Silas Green: The wolf? Hell no!  That's a chihuahua compared to the motherfucker come at me!  Ya ever seen a wolf, man?
 * Det. Justice: Yes?
 * Silas Green: To the 25th power!

 * Policeman with Dog: You people are ought to stay back! Killer here loves to bite!
 * Maximillian: So do I!

 * Julius Jones: Hey, man, my pops always said the quickest way to a woman's heart - the church.
 * Maximillian: It's actually through the ribcage, but that's a bit messy.

 * Julius Jones: Hey, Max, let me ask you something. Why didn't you just bite this bitch when you had a chance?
 * Maximillian: It doesn't work that way. She has to give herself to me voluntarily.
 * Julius Jones: [laughs] Hey, this is Brooklyn, baby. Don't nobody give up shit unless you got some cold cash or a hot slug for their ass.
 * Maximillian: In this case, I know a lot more about her than she knows about herself. One dance with me, one dance, and she'll be mine
 * Julius Jones: Oh, see now, yeah, yeah. Now you're talking, player. Now you're talking. Take her dancing. I bet you dance that ol' wild Hammer shit.
 * [Julius turns on the radio and plays "Pray", performed by MC Hammer]
 * Julius Jones: So I'm gonna put on some music and I want you to show me what you're gonna do when you get in there, you wild vampire self. Show me that old Hammer shit you gonna do.

 * Maximillian: Do you like Italian? I make an excellent fusilli.
 * Rita: Actually, that's my favorite, but I really think I ought to take a rain check.
 * Maximillian: Oh, there's someone else.
 * Rita: Not anymore.
 * Maximillian: Well, if there's no one else, then I would love to have you... for dinner.
 * Rita: Look here. I'm a cop.
 * Maximillian: Ah. The police?
 * Rita: Mmm-hmm, the law. Which means, if you try anything funny, I'll shoot you.
 * Maximillian: [feigning innocence] Do I look like I would bite you?
 * Rita: [chuckles] You better not, not after the day I've had.
 * Maximillian: Can I send my car to pick you up in a half-hour?
 * Rita: [impressed] Oooh, a car. Let's make it an hour.
 * Maximillian: I'll see you then.

 * Maximillian: Rita, my sweet, you must feed, or you're going to die.
 * Rita: [defiant] I want to die.
 * Maximillian: I won't let you. I'll find someone for you.
 * Silas Green: [enters the apartment looking for Julius] Hey, hey, Hey! The Knicks won! Julius, goddamn it, you owe me $50. [he then notices the new decor created by Max's casting spells] Good God, he's a bad motherfucker. Julius! Where's my $50, Julius... [notices Rita, weak and hungry, resting] You ain't Julius. You that cop's girl. What wrong, baby? You look sick. Had too much pork today, huh? Bad pig's feet, ate the bay leaf? Want some cod-liver oil, baby? Tell me what you need.
 * Maximillian: [sneaks up behind Silas] What she needs is some fresh blood.
 * Silas Green: Blood? Blood? I'll go to the Red Cross, get all you need.
 * Maximillian: Shut up!
 * [Max stabs two holes in Silas' neck as Rita moves closer to her prey]
 * Silas Green: Ow! Hey, brother, what the idea?
 * Maximillian: The idea is dinner.
 * Silas Green: Dinner? I don't see no dinner. What are we having?
 * Maximillian: You!
 * Silas Green: ME? Don't do it, baby!
 * Maximillian: Do it, Rita. You don't have to resist. Do it!
 * [Rita is about to feed on Silas' blood...]
 * Silas Green: Don't do it, baby. I got old, tired Grandpa blood! I got high blood pressure, baby! High as the MOTHERFUCKIN' MOON! You suck my blood. I've gotta take three pills a DAY!
 * [the police enter]
 * Det. Justice: [yells] Rita! NO!
 * Silas Green: [relieved] Police! Police!

Cast

 * Eddie Murphy - Maximillian / Preacher Pauly / Guido
 * Angela Bassett - Detective Rita Veder
 * Allen Payne - Detective Justice
 * Kadeem Hardison - Julius Jones
 * John Witherspoon - Silas Green
 * Zakes Mokae - Dr. Zeko
 * Joanna Cassidy - Captain Dewey
 * W. Earl Brown - Police Officer
 * Simbi Khali - Nikki
 * Ray Combs - Game Show Host

title: Vampire in Brooklyn


text:
User talk:Ryan Livingston

Hello, Ryan Livingston, the page you created Ryan Livingston is now listed on WQ:VFD. Would you like to move it from there to your own user namespace? Or it would be probably deleted. Personal quotes on main namespace aren't welcome, but you are encouraged to store it on your own user page. Thank you. --Aphaia 09:44, 15 July 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:Ryan Livingston


text:
Fear of a Black Hat

Fear of a Black Hat (1993) is a comedy film, a mockumentary satirizing and spoofing hip hop culture. It deals with a year in the life of the fictional gangsta rap posse NWH (Niggaz With Hats), consisting of rappers Ice Cold and Tasty Taste and MC Tone Def, observed by sociologist Nina Blackburn.

Ice Cold

 * The butt is like society. It has to open up.
 * On the social relevance of the song "Booty Juice"

 * P - Political, U - Unrest, S - Stabilize, S - Society, Y - Yeah.
 * On the "social relevance" of the song "Come Pet the P.U.S.S.Y."

 * When you step to it, step to it hard. It’ll open up so don’t bogart. Time to stand erect and gain entry To the richness that waits within, see. We gotta work hard if we wanna groove it And I’m in it to win it, so let’s do it.
 * "Come Pet the P.U.S.S.Y."

Tasty-Taste

 * We are anti-violent. Anyone who says different, I am going to bust a cap in your ass!

 * It is our civic duty to bang the booty!

 * My foot is ready to fly like a government stealth-G My leather boots ready to fly Direct to the center of the most soft tissue So far up in you that you’re gonna wish You never ever heard my name, Never ever tried my game. When my foot goes in that posterior, You’ll taste it in your mouth’s interior.
 * "Granny Said Kick Yo Ass"

 * Tastey T will go to the battle killin more fools than mickey dees kills cattle

 * I want to make you mine, slap yo fat behind, tie you down and make you whine. I want you to scratch my itch and be my bitch.... cuz I luv you girl.
 * "Love song"

Tone Deaf

 * We all stand or sit when we pee. I’m just a human, just a human being When I doo-doo is my shit not brown? It’s a universal thing, we all flush it down And when you wipe do you look at the tissue? Most folks do, it ain’t even an issue. Hot stuff makes it burn comin out, I bet everyone knows what I’m talkin about. Cause we are all one race on this planet, we all burp and fart, and that’s the way God planned it. So don’t act like you're superior, Eat something bad an just like me you’ll get diarrhea Cause black, white, yellow, red, brown or gold, Our shit all comes from the same little hole.
 * "Just A Human"

Dialogue

 * Nina Blackburn: Your new album is "NWH: Fear Of A Black Hat."
 * Ice Cold: Right. But see actually that shit was suppose to be "NWH: Fear Of A Black Hat," subtitled "Don’t Shoot ‘Til You See The Whites."
 * Nina Blackburn: Of their eyes?
 * Ice Cold: Whose eyes?
 * Nina Blackburn: Don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes.
 * Ice Cold: No, no, no! Don’t shoot until you see the whites. Period. That’s it. End of story. You know what I’m saying? But the record company, they dogged us out. They wouldn’t let us put it on it.
 * Tasty Taste: Yeah. We should have busted a cap in their ass.
 * Tone Deaf: They're always trying to censor our shit.
 * Nina Blackburn: For instance, with the song "Kill Whitey."
 * Ice Cold: That shit was a whole big misunderstanding. They took the whole thing out of context.
 * Tone Deaf: They were trying to say we were advocating killing white people and shit.
 * Tasty Taste: Yeah! Do I look like the type of nigga that could kill a whole buncha white mutha fuckas?  I mean, you know, given a reason, but not on a humbug."
 * Nina Blackburn: Well, in the song lyrics I’m quoting: "He’ll rip you off. He’ll take your money, make you work for free. Though you may scoff. It isn’t funny. He’s the devil, see. Kill Whitey."
 * Ice Cold: Right. Now how can you listen to that and think we’re talking about killing all white people?
 * Tone Deaf: Fact. We were talking about one specific whitey. Whitey Deluca our ex-manager.
 * Tasty Taste: He ripped us off for 70 g's.
 * Ice Cold: That’s right. And Whitey Deluca wasn’t even white. He was Italian. He was one of those olive complexion MFs you know.
 * Nina Blackburn: If I remember correctly, he ended up murdered?
 * Ice Cold: We wasn’t in town when that shit happened.
 * Tone Deaf: Wait a minute, we were here.
 * Ice Cold: No, no, no. We were in Cleveland like a "mo fo" remember?
 * Tone Deaf: Oh, yeah.

 * Nina Blackburn: Are these guns registered with the state?
 * Tasty Taste: State of siege!

 * Nina Blackburn: They say you have to watch out for the quiet ones.
 * Tasty Taste: And if you notice I ain't said shit for a couple of minutes now!

 * Nina Blackburn: What is the difference between a bitch and a hoe?
 * Tone-Deaf: A hoe fucks everyone. A bitch fucks everyone but you!

title: Fear of a Black Hat


text:
7 July 2005 London bombings

The 7 July 2005 London bombings (often referred to as 7/7) were a series of coordinated suicide bomb attacks in central London which targeted civilians using the public transport system during the morning rush hour.

Royal Family

 * Queen Elizabeth II issued an official statement, saying "I know I speak for the whole nation in expressing my sympathy to all those affected and the relatives of the killed and injured. I have nothing but admiration for the emergency services as they go about their work." On July 8, the Queen visited the Royal London Hospital, near Liverpool Street, where she visited some of the victims of the attacks, and emergency staff who responded to the attacks.  She later made a speech described by the BBC as "unusually forthright", in which she called the bombings an outrage, and said that "those who perpetrate these brutal acts against innocent people should know that they will not change our way of life."  On July 10, the Queen again commented on the attacks, during the UK's commemoration services for the 60th anniversary of World War II. The Queen also ordered that the Union Flag on Buckingham Palace fly at half-mast.

 * - The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall visited St Mary's Hospital in Paddington on July 8. The Prince said "It's been one of the things that many of us have dreaded for a long time and now they have finally got through," and added, "What I can never get over is the incredible resilience of the British people who have set us all a fantastic example of how to react to these kinds of tragedies." The Duchess also commented "It makes me very proud to be British" in response to the efforts of the emergency services.

 * Royal Standard of the United Kingdom.svg - Prince William of Wales, on tour in New Zealand with the British and Irish Lions said, "At this time I'm sure that I'm joined by New Zealanders and Lions supporters alike in extending to the families and loved ones of all those directly involved, my heartfelt sympathies."

 * Royal Standard of Prince Andrew, Duke of York.svg - The Duke of York visited the Transport for London staff and the Metropolitan Police at CentreComm, the London Buses Command and Control Complex in Buckingham Palace Road on July 8. The Duke met staff who co-ordinated the transport network in London following the attacks, and praised Londoners for their reactions, saying "The way that Londoners pulled together yesterday was quite extraordinary."

 * Royal Standard of Prince Richard, Duke of Gloucester.svg - The Duke and Duchess of Gloucester visited the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital on July 9 to meet victims of the attack and to thank staff.

British Members of Parliament

 * Flag of the United Kingdom.svg - The Prime Minister, Tony Blair, was at the G8 summit in Glenagles, Scotland on the morning of the attacks. He described the attacks as “barbaric.” “Our determination to defend our values and our way of life is greater than their determination to cause death and destruction to innocent people in a desire to impose extremism upon the world,” he said. The Prime Minister left the G8 summit in Gleneagles despite Downing Street initially suggesting that reports he would return to London were false . He arrived back in London to consult with emergency services. The summit continued in his absence and he returned to Gleneagles in the evening..

 * Flag of the United Kingdom.svg - The leader of the Conservative Party, Michael Howard: "We express our deepest sympathy to the families and friends of those who have lost lives and those who have been injured. We express our thanks and admiration for the heroic work of the emergency services and we fully support the Prime Minister in what he has said about our determination to defend and to protect our way of life".

 * Flag of the United Kingdom.svg - The leader of the Liberal Democrat Party, Charles Kennedy: "These bombs have exploded as world leaders meet at Gleneagles. The moral contrast between those who seek to disrupt and destroy and those who are trying to build for the future could not be more stark. The terrorists must not prevail".

 * Flag of the United Kingdom.svg - MP George Galloway said that the attacks were linked to Britain's involvement in the war on Iraq. "We argued, as did the security services in this country, that the attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq would increase the threat of terrorist attack in Britain. Tragically Londoners have now paid the price of the government ignoring such warnings." Other MPs refrained from linking Blair's actions in the Middle East with the bombing.

London authorities

 * Flag of the City of London.svg - Mayor Ken Livingstone, speaking from Singapore, where he had been promoting the city's Olympic bid, called it a “cowardly attack”. Using the media to speak directly to the bombers, he said "In the days that follow, look at our airports, look at our sea ports and look at our railway stations and, even after your cowardly attack, you will see that people … will arrive in London to become Londoners and to fulfil their dreams and achieve their potential. They choose to come to London, … because they come to be free, they come to live the life they choose, they come to be able to be themselves. They flee you because you tell them how they should live. They don't want that and nothing you do, however many of us you kill, will stop that flight to our city where freedom is strong and where people can live in harmony with one another. Whatever you do, however many you kill, you will fail." Full details.

 * Flag of the City of London.svg - The Lord Mayor of the City of London, Michael Savory, was also in Singapore, and issued a statement urging Londoners to be defiant, saying, "“I am sure that on Monday at 7.00am the City will be humming as usual to prove that Londoners just get on with it. That’s our best answer to terrorist bullies. I certainly shall be at my desk, opposite the Bank of England, working as I have done for 40 years. Terrorists have not won, cannot win and will not win."

Home nations

 * Flag of Scotland.svg - Scottish First Minister Jack McConnell issued a statement in behalf of the Scottish Executive saying, "I had planned today (Thursday) to have a conversation with Mayor Ken Livingston to congratulate him on the success for London yesterday in Singapore in winning the Olympic Games for 2012. Instead I have sent a message of condolence on behalf of the people of Scotland to the people of London and the families of those who have been injured or deceased in the terrorist atrocities that were seen in different locations in central London today."

 * Flag of Wales 2.svg - Welsh First Minister Rhodri Morgan issued a statement on behalf of the National Assembly for Wales, saying, "The whole of Wales will feel nothing but revulsion at these savage acts of terrorism targeted at commuters during London’s busy rush hour. On behalf of the people of Wales, I would like to express my deepest sympathies to the relatives of those killed and injured in this morning’s attacks."

 * Flag of Northern Ireland.svg - The 4 major political parties in Northern Ireland condemned the attacks. William McCrea spoke on behalf of the Democratic Unionist Party, saying, "sympathise with those who have been bereaved as a result of this terrible atrocity and our thoughts are with the many families who have been so cruelly robbed of their loved ones." The DUP also used their statement to attack Sinn Fein and the IRA, whom they accused of "planting more bombs in London than anyone else".

 * The Republican Sinn Fein also condemned the attacks, with the Mayor of Moyle District Council, saying "On behalf of Sinn Féin I offer my sincere condolences to the victims and the families of those killed and injured and to the people of London".

Multinational Bodies

 * Flag_of_Europe.svg - The European Parliament held a minute of silence to mourn any victims of the explosions.

 * - Commonwealth of Nations Secretary-General Don McKinnon issued a statement saying, "All of us throughout the Commonwealth family are shocked by these barbaric and cowardly attacks. Our thoughts go to all the victims and their families and friends. Terrorism cannot be allowed to succeed. The Commonwealth has spoken out loudly and clearly against this scourge. The killing and maiming of innocent men, women and children is unjustifiable."

 * G8 leaders prepared a statement, read on behalf of them all by Tony Blair, condemning the attacks as "an attack on civilised peoples everywhere", and saying that the G8 summit would proceed..

 * The Gulf Co-operation Council "condemns the terrorist attacks which hit the British capital in several locations this morning".

 * - At NATO HQ in Brussels, the North Atlantic Council met for an extraordinary session, and issued a statement saying "The Council condemned in the strongest possible terms terrorism in all its forms. NATO Allies reaffirmed their determination to combat this scourge, and to defend with all means at their disposal the Alliance’s values of freedom, tolerance and democracy".

 * Olympic flag.svg - The International Olympic Committee stated that "The IOC was appalled by the barbaric attack". The IOC also confirmed that the attacks would not affect London's successful Olympic bid for the 2012 Summer Olympic Games, stating "Security is one of the 17 themes of evaluating the Olympics and we have full confidence in the London authorities for a secure Olympic Games.".

 * Flag of the United Nations.svg - United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan described the bombings as "an attack on humanity itself", and joined other world leaders in condemning the attacks. He said that he was personally "devastated" by the events..

 * Flag of the United Nations.svg - The United Nations Security Council condemned "without reservation" the terror attacks and urged nations to prosecute perpetrators of such "barbaric acts." In a resolution adopted by a 15-0 vote in an emergency meeting, the council expressed condolences to the victims of the bomb blasts.

Americas

 * Flag of Argentina.svg Argentina - President Néstor Kirchner sent a press release that stated "We're convinced that the respect to life is the pillar of the democratic coexistance, and manifest our total condemn of any kind of terrorist act, such as the one suffered by the British citizenship, and hope for the people responsible to be aprehended and submitted to justice. The Argentine people feels deeply identified with the victims and their relatives, to whom we would like to express our deepest sentiments of consternation and solidarity."

 * Flag of Brazil.svg Brazil - President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva said that "Brazil expresses its harshest condemnation of this most recent, deplorable terrorist act" and voiced "solidarity with the suffering of the victims' families."

 * Flag of Canada.svg Canada - Prime Minister Paul Martin offered his condolences to the families of the victims of the bombings also calling the bombings "an unspeakable attack on the innocent and on a way of life," as well as "our collective freedom has come under attack by those who would use violence and murder to force extremism on the world." Martin has also requested Canadian flags on all federal buildings be lowered to half-staff..

 * The Governor General, Adrienne Clarkson, said in a statement, "The world has once again witnessed the horrors of terrorism and we have all been shaken by these shocking and terrifying events. All Canadians are saddened to see this tragedy unfold and we give the people of Britain our heartfelt sympathy".

 * Flag of Chile.svg Chile- President Ricardo Lagos said that "every Chilean repudiates what has happened today at dawn in London."

 * Flag of Cuba.svg Cuba- President Fidel Castro wrote, in a letter to the Queen, "I can assure you that the Cuban people, who have been a victim of terrorism for more than four decades, share your grief and condemn this unjustifiable attack on the British people"..

 * Flag of the Falkland Islands.svg- Falkland Islands - Governor Howard Pearce sent a message of condolence to Queen Elizabeth II, saying, "The people of the Falkland Islands are deeply shocked and outraged by the appalling attacks which took place in London earlier today. On behalf of all Falkland Islanders, I convey our sympathy to those who have suffered injury or trauma as a result of these events and our deepest condolences to the families of those who have lost their lives. While we may be many thousands of miles away in distance, we feel very close to all Londoners in spirit, and we know that they will respond with courage and fortitude."

 * Flag of Mexico.svg Mexico - A spokesman for President Vicente Fox said that "on behalf of the people of Mexico, the president would like to express his solidarity and support to the people and government of the United Kingdom, terrorism and violence against civilian population have no possible justification, President Vicente Fox has already given his condolences to Prime Minister Blair."

 * Flag of Panama.svg Panama - President Martín Torrijos visited the British ambassador to Panama, James Ian Malcom, to express condolences and solidarity with the UK.

 * Flag of the United States.svg United States - President George W. Bush spoke at the 31st G8 summit in Scotland, saying "I spent some time recently with the Prime Minister, Tony Blair, and had an opportunity to express our heartfelt condolences to the people of London, people who lost lives. I appreciate Prime Minister Blair's steadfast determination and his strength. He's on his way now to London here from the G8 to speak directly to the people of London. He'll carry a message of solidarity with him."

Europe

 * Flag of Cyprus.svg Cyprus - President Tassos Papadopoulos stressed, that "the Government and the people of Cyprus strongly condemn such horrendous acts of terror and stand in full solidarity with the British people and the rest of the international community in the fight against terrorism of all kinds"

 * Flag of the Czech Republic.svg Czech Republic - President Václav Klaus wrote in a statement for the Queen: "We are jointly facing those who would like to destroy the values upon which our civilisation rests by their coward inhuman acts." "Along with you, we are determined not to yield to the forces which are seeking to destroy everything in which we believe through violence," Klaus wrote in the letter, in which he voiced his deepest sympathies.

 * Flag of Denmark.svg Denmark - Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen has stated: "Again we're witnessing scruples' and barbaric attacks against completely innocent people – civilians, women and children... Terrorists use fear and terror as political pressure. We can't - and will not allow that. We shall never give in to terrorists." - Later he sent an official condolence letter to Tony Blair..

 * Flag of Finland.svg Finland - President Tarja Halonen expressed condolences in a letter to the Queen. In it she said "It is with profound sadness that we in Finland have received the news of the fatal bomb explosions in London, in which precious human lives were lost and many seriously injured." Foreign Minister Erkki Tuomioja also expressed condolences, stating: "I vehemently condemn these shocking and cruel acts."

 * Flag of France.svg France - Jacques Chirac, describing the attackers as “savages” said that “these attacks have without any doubt reinforced the solidarity between the eight [heads of government]” at the G8 summit, adding that the attacks would also strengthen the fight against terrorrism.

 * Flag of Germany.svg Germany - Chancellor Gerhard Schröder called the attacks "cowardly and perfidious", while Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer declared his "unswerving solidarity" with London.

 * Flag of Gibraltar.svg Gibraltar - Chief Minister Peter Caruana, send a message of condolence to the Queen, saying "Please accept the sympathy and solidarity of the people and Government of Gibraltar in the face of these cowardly and wicked attacks on London and its people. Please accept our condolences on the loss of life."

 * Flag of Greece.svg Greece - Prime Minister Kostas Karamanlis stated "On the part of the government and the Greek people, I would like to express my deepest condolences" and added "Our thoughts are with the families of the victims."

 * Flag of Hungary.svg Hungary - Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsány called the attacks "lowly and inhuman", and expressed his "sincere sympathy" with the families of victims and with the inhabitants of London. Outgoing President Ferenc Mádl likewise condemned the attacks and expressed his condolences.

 * Flag of Iceland.svg Iceland - Iceland’s president, Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson, says that terrorist attacks have paralyzed the city. “The British nation has shown great courage and is resolved to deny the terrorists success in their attack on the open and free society.”

 * Flag of Iceland.svg Iceland - Prime Minister Halldór Ásgrímsson says it is our duty to stand together in the fight against the forces that organize attacks such as the one that occurred in London today. He says that counter-terrorist preparations and surveillance will increase in Europe in the wake of the attacks, including Iceland.

 * Flag of Ireland.svg Republic of Ireland - Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, said that "after yesterday's outpouring of great joy, today is a tragic and difficult day for London."

 * Flag of the Netherlands.svg Netherlands - Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende stated: "Continuous intensive attention is required in the war against terrorism. Terrorism is an evil that can hit each European country. Cooperation in the EU and worldwide is crucial to counter this evil."

 * Flag of Norway.svg Norway - Prime Minister Kjell Magne Bondevik has stated "On behalf of the Norwegian Government, I wish to express my deepest condolences and sympathy. My thoughts are with all those who were injured and the bereaved families, and with the people of the United Kingdom. We are mourning with you in this time of grief.".

 * Flag of Poland.svg Poland - The Polish Parliament, Sejm lower house observed a moment of silence.

 * Flag of Portugal.svg Portugal - Prime Minister José Sócrates says, in a statement made from the national Parliament, "The terrorist threat is global and demands for a global response. If any doubt would existed about the priorities of Europe, this dramatic attack obligies all the 25 European Union states to stay together in this fight."

 * Flag of Romania.svg Romania - President Traian Basescu expressed his solidarity with the British people and authorities.

 * Flag of Russia.svg Russia - President Vladimir Putin has expressed his condolences over the attacks and has called on all countries to unite in the fight against international terrorism.

 * Flag of Spain.svg Spain - Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero has stated "I want to express the condolences of the Government and the Spanish people to relatives of the victims of this horrible attacks. I absolutely share the sentiments stated by my colleague Tony Blair. Moral strength of democracy is far superior than such vile and cowardly methods of terrorism."

 * Flag of Sweden.svg Sweden - Prime Minister Göran Persson stated: "It's is an attack on our open society. It's an attack on a democracy that's hosting a meeting to discuss such difficult issues as the climate change and the poverty of Africa. In this situation it's important that we hold together, that we're steady in the fight against terror and that we give all the support that we can give to British authorities but also to the people who has been affected, and we of course also express our sympathy with the British people and all the single people who today have received messages that near and dear have been affected by serious injuries or death. [...] The same icy feeling as after 9/11, the same definite opinion: this is not something that we'll give away for. If this will become the future norm for how to decide the political agenda, then we'll live in a whole other Europe, a whole other world, and that's something none of us wishes. Now we defend the open society."

 * Flag of Turkey.svg Turkey - Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan said that "we have always stressed that the fight against terror is something we all have to join into together. I believe especially that our mutual intelligence organizations need to pool their information and knowledge to be better able to support one another against attacks of this kind."

Middle East

 * Flag of Israel.svg Israel - Prime Minister Ariel Sharon said "In these moments, Israel entirely expresses its solidarity with the people of Britain, aching with their pain, and sending condolences to the families of the dead and wishes of fast recovery to the wounded."

 * Flag of Lebanon.svg Lebanon - President Emile Lahoud said that "Lebanon, which has been the victim of violence for years, shares with the British their pain."

 * Flag of the United Arab Emirates.svg United Arab Emirates - Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Foreign Affairs Shaikh Hamdan bin Zayed al-Nahayan said the UAE government "condemns in the strongest possible terms these horrific crimes and declares full solidarity with the British government" and that the UAE also "supports any measures [the British government] may take to deal with" the attacks.

Asia

 * Flag of the People's Republic of China.svg China - Foreign Ministry spokesman Liu Jianchao has said that "China is shocked" by this tragedy and "strongly condemns" any terrorist attacks targeted at civilians.

 * Flag of India.svg India - Prime Minister Manmohan Singh speaking at the G8 summit in Scotland said, "Just a couple of days back, India faced a major terrorist attack and these incidents show that global terrorism does not recognize international boundaries and we all need to work together to counter it."

 * Flag of Indonesia.svg Indonesia - Foreign Ministry spokesman Marty Natalegawa has said, "We're shocked to hear the bombing attacks. We condemned them," He also expressed condolences to the victims and their relatives, and pray for the wounded for their early recovery.

 * Flag of Japan.svg Japan - Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi has said, "This terrorist action will never be forgiven, but remembered with great indignation. I offer Mr. Blair my full support to his response, and will gladly cooperate in any way possible."

 * Flag of Malaysia.svg Malaysia - Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said all Malaysians were saddened and distressed over the bomb attacks in London. He said every Malaysian hates violence and condemns it because violence is not the solution. He stated "I believe all countries and races condemn what had happened in London although we do not know yet who is responsible for the bombing."

 * Flag of Pakistan.svg Pakistan - Information Minister Sheikh Rashid said "We offer our heartfelt sympathies to those who suffered due to such acts."

 * Flag of Singapore.svg Singapore - Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong condemned the terrorist attacks in London and expressed Singapore's sympathy to the victims of the attacks and their families, and to the British people and government.

Africa

 * Flag of Morocco.svg Morocco - Communication Minister Nabil Benabdallah gave a statement on behalf of the Moroccon government, saying that "these heinous attacks underline the need for the international community to...unite its efforts to fight these acts and abort their objectives."

 * Flag of South Africa.svg South Africa - President Thabo Mbeki has condemned the series of explosions on London's transport system: "As South Africa, we join the rest of the international community in condemning any acts of terrorism".

Oceania

 * Flag of Australia.svg Australia - Prime Minister John Howard, in a live-to-air broadcast, expressed his "horror and disgust at this cowardly attack on innocent people." Mr Howard also stated that "It's important that we stand shoulder to shoulder with our British allies at a time such as this" and that "these types of attacks will not alter the determination of free countries to do the right thing." Recognising an Australian connection to the British capital, Mr. Howard said "Australians will feel very deeply about this because London is the city, above all others outside our own country, we know and identify with."  A small contingent of experts from the Australian Federal Police was dispatched to London to assist British authorities.

 * Flag of New Zealand.svg New Zealand - Prime Minister Helen Clark has conveyed to the British government the "deep shock and sympathy and concern of the government and people of New Zealand", and has also requested New Zealand flags be flown at half-mast.

Other National Officials

 * Flag of Canada.svg Canada - Deputy Prime Minister Anne McLellan said, "Acts of terrorism are completely without conscience...terrorism is a scourge on our civilization. Those who commit the acts do not care whom they kill or how much damage they inflict on those who are truly innocent."

 * Flag of Canada.svg Canada - Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper said, "We should not be under any illusion that we couldn't just as easily be a target, and certainly, obviously, we could be a basis from which terror could be launched," and "those who oppose the war in Iraq also oppose the war in Afghanistan, and Canada is very involved in that."

 * Flag of Canada.svg Canada - New Democratic Party leader Jack Layton felt, "repulsed by the violence we have witnessed today in London...we will not allow it to undermine Canadian society, our institutions or our beliefs in democracy, human rights, tolerance, and equality. Indeed, we must go forward today with greater determination to build a world that embraces these ideals."

 * Flag of France.svg France - French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin called the attack "a tragedy for Great Britain" and "a tragedy for Europe as a whole which had already been hit in Madrid in March 2004." In a letter to Prime Minister Tony Blair, De Villepin also offered "immediate, full and total collaboration of French services in helping you identify the authors of these crimes."

 * Flag of the United States.svg United States - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has said: "Before long, I suspect that those responsible for these acts will encounter British steel. Their kind of steel has an uncommon strength. It does not bend or break. The British have learned from history that this kind of evil must be confronted. It cannot be appeased.  Our two countries understand well that once a people give in to terrorists’ demands, whatever they are, their demands will grow. The British people are determined and resolute.  And I know the people of the United States are proud to stand at their side.".

 * Flag of the United States.svg United States - Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean stated, "I join all Americans today in offering my condolences to the victims of today's vicious terrorist attacks in London. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their friends and their families. We remain steadfast in our commitment to defeating those who threaten our freedom and values. At a time when world leaders were working together to help make our world a better place, these terrorists were plotting to disrupt that effort by killing and injuring innocent people. We will continue to stand with our allies around the world to defeat terrorism and protect our liberty and freedom."

 * Flag of Australia.svg Australia - Australian Labor Party leader Kim Beazley said the terrorists were "sub-human filth who must be captured and eliminated." He also stated: "The evil that they stand for must be confronted and they need to know that nothing they can do changes our values and nothing they do eliminates our resolve to deal with them".

Religious leaders

 * The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, spoke of his horror and grief. Amid widespread speculation that the bombings were the work of Islamic extremists, he said that, as it happened, he had "spent this morning with Muslim colleagues and friends in West Yorkshire; and we were all as one in our condemnation of this evil and in our shared sense of care and compassion for those affected in whatever way. Such solidarity and common purpose is vital for us all at this time of pain and sorrow and anger." On Friday he gave the "Thought for the Day" on BBC  radio 4 in which he spoke of the difference between shocked silence and calmness..

 * The Muslim Council of Britain said that it "utterly condemns" the "indiscriminate acts of terror."

 * The Anglican Bishop of London, Richard Chartres, issued a statement early on Thursday saying "The attack on London is not an attack on Presidents and men of power but an attack on ordinary Londoners travelling to work by bus and tube...On Wednesday evening St Paul’s Cathedral was packed with Londoners come to listen to the Secretary General of the UN and the Chancellor of the Exchequer on what can be done to tackle poverty in the world. The atmosphere was electric and the determination to do something practical to help was obvious. That is the real agenda in today’s world. By contrast this act of violence is a cruel irrelevance."

 * The Australian Muslim Civil Rights Advocacy Network have issued a public statement condemning the attacks, offering their condolences to the British people, and pledging their support in bringing the terrorists to justice.

 * The Council on American-Islamic Relations condemned the attacks, stating "We join Americans of all faiths, and all people of conscience worldwide, in condemning these barbaric crimes that can never be justified or excused. American Muslims offer their sincere condolences to the loved ones of those who were killed or injured in today's attacks and call for the swift apprehension and punishment of the perpetrators."

 * General of The Salvation Army John Larsson sent out mobile relief teams and said to continue to pray for the people of London.

 * The Islamic Circle of North America released a statement saying, "The Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA) is shocked and horrified at the several attacks on the people of London during the rush hour mass transit. We join everyone in condemning such acts of terror and senseless violence. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their loved ones at this tragic moment.  We trust that the authorities will determine those responsible for these barbaric acts and bring them to justice quickly.".

 * Leading Lebanese Shi'ite Muslim scholar Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah stated, "These crimes are not accepted by any religion. It is a barbarism wholly rejected by Islam."
 * Flag_of_the_Vatican_City.svg Vatican City Pope Benedict XVI has called the attacks "inhuman" and "barbaric acts against humanity".

Other leaders

 * Moussa Abu Marzouk, a spokesman for the Palestinian Islamist organization Hamas, has condemned the bombings, saying "Targeting civilians in their transport means and lives is denounced and rejected.".

 * Mayor of Toronto David Miller stated, "residents of Toronto stand in solidarity with people around the world in their condemnation of this and every act of terror."

 * Bertrand Delanoë, mayor of Paris: "Today, we're all Londoners".

Online

 * When the news reporter said "Shopkeepers are opening their doors bringing out blankets and cups of tea" I just smiled. It's like yes. That's Britain for you. Tea solves everything. You're a bit cold? Tea. Your boyfriend has just left you? Tea. You've just been told you've got cancer? Tea. Coordinated terrorist attack on the transport network bringing the city to a grinding halt? TEA DAMMIT! And if it's really serious, they may bring out the coffee. The Americans have their alert raised to red, we break out the coffee. That's for situations more serious than this of course. Like another England penalty shoot-out.
 * - "jslayeruk," on LiveJournal - a quotation widely circulated after the attacks.

title: 7 July 2005 London bombings


text:
John von Neumann

John von Neumann (28 December 1903 – 8 February 1957) was a Hungarian-American-Jewish mathematician, physicist, inventor, computer scientist, and polymath. He made major contributions to a number of fields, including mathematics (foundations of mathematics, functional analysis, ergodic theory, geometry, topology, and numerical analysis), physics (quantum mechanics, hydrodynamics and quantum statistical mechanics), economics (game theory), computing (Von Neumann architecture, linear programming, self-replicating machines, stochastic computing), and statistics.

Quotes

 * I think that it is a relatively good approximation to truth — which is much too complicated to allow anything but approximations — that mathematical ideas originate in empirics. But, once they are conceived, the subject begins to live a peculiar life of its own and is … governed by almost entirely aesthetical motivations. In other words, at a great distance from its empirical source, or after much "abstract" inbreeding, a mathematical subject is in danger of degeneration. At the inception the style is usually classical; when it shows signs of becoming baroque, then the danger signal is up. It would be easy to give examples, to trace specific evolutions into the baroque and the very high baroque... Whenever this stage is reached the only remedy seems to me to be the rejuvenating return to the source: the reinjection of more or less directly empirical ideas.
 * "The Mathematician", in The Works of the Mind (1947) edited by R. B. Heywood, University of Chicago Press, Chicago

 * For progress there is no cure.... The only safety possible is relative, and it lies in an intelligent exercise of day-to-day judgement.
 * "Can we survive Technology?" 1950.

 * Any one who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. For, as has been pointed out several times, there is no such thing as a random number — there are only methods to produce random numbers, and a strict arithmetic procedure of course is not such a method.
 * On mistaking pseudorandom number generators for being truly "random" — this quote is often erroneously interpreted to mean that von Neumann was against the use of pseudorandom numbers, when in reality he was cautioning about misunderstanding their true nature while advocating their use. From "Various techniques used in connection with random digits" by John von Neumann in Monte Carlo Method (1951) edited by A.S. Householder, G.E. Forsythe, and H.H. Germond

 * The total subject of mathematics is clearly too broad for any one of us. I do not think that any mathematician since Gauss has covered it fully and uniformly, even Hilbert did not, and all of us are of considerably lesser width (quite apart from the question of depth) than Hilbert. It would therefore, be quite unrealistic not to admit, that any address I could possibly give would not be biased towards some areas in mathematics in which I have had some experience, to the detriment of others which may be equally or more important. To be specific, I could not avoid a bias towards those parts of analysis, logics, and certain border areas of the applications of mathematics to other sciences in which I have worked. If your Committee feels that an address which is affected by such imperfections still fits into the program of the Congress, and if the very generous confidence in my ability to deliver continues, I shall be glad to undertake it.
 * Letter to H. D. Kloosterman (April 10, 1953), unpublished, John von Neumann Archive, Library of Congress, Washington, D.C., as quoted by Miklós Rédei, 1999. "Unsolved Problems in Mathematics": J. von Neumann's Address to the International Congress of Mathematicians, Amsterdam, September 2-9, 1954 in Mathematical Intelligencer, 21(4), 7–12.

 * A large part of mathematics which becomes useful developed with absolutely no desire to be useful, and in a situation where nobody could possibly know in what area it would become useful; and there were no general indications that it ever would be so. By and large it is uniformly true in mathematics that there is a time lapse between a mathematical discovery and the moment when it is useful; and that this lapse of time can be anything from 30 to 100 years, in some cases even more; and that the whole system seems to function without any direction, without any reference to usefulness, and without any desire to do things which are useful.
 * "The Role of Mathematics in the Sciences and in Society" (1954) an address to Princeton alumni, published in John von Neumann : Collected Works (1963) edited by A. H. Taub ; also quoted in Out of the Mouths of Mathematicians : A Quotation Book for Philomaths (1993) by R. Schmalz

 * The sciences do not try to explain, they hardly even try to interpret, they mainly make models. By a model is meant a mathematical construct which, with the addition of certain verbal interpretations, describes observed phenomena. The justification of such a mathematical construct is solely and precisely that it is expected to work.
 * "Method in the Physical Sciences", in The Unity of Knowledge (1955), ed. L. G. Leary (Doubleday & Co., New York), p. 157

 * It is exceptional that one should be able to acquire the understanding of a process without having previously acquired a deep familiarity with running it, with using it, before one has assimilated it in an instinctive and empirical way… Thus any discussion of the nature of intellectual effort in any field is difficult, unless it presupposes an easy, routine familiarity with that field. In mathematics this limitation becomes very severe.
 * As quoted in "The Mathematician" in The World of Mathematics (1956), by James Roy Newman

 * When we talk mathematics, we may be discussing a secondary language built on the primary language of the nervous system.
 * As quoted in John von Neumann, 1903-1957 (1958) by John C. Oxtoby and B. J. Pettis, p. 128

 * It is just as foolish to complain that people are selfish and treacherous as it is to complain that the magnetic field does not increase unless the electric field has a curl. Both are laws of nature.
 * As quoted "John von Neumann (1903 - 1957)" by Eugene Wigner, in Year book of the American Philosophical Society (1958); later in Symmetries and Reflections : Scientific Essays of Eugene P. Wigner (1967), p. 261

 * You should call it entropy, for two reasons. In the first place your uncertainty function has been used in statistical mechanics under that name, so it already has a name. In the second place, and more important, no one really knows what entropy really is, so in a debate you will always have the advantage.
 * Suggesting to Claude Shannon a name for his new uncertainty function, as quoted in Scientific American Vol. 225 No. 3, (1971), p. 180.

 * Young man, in mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
 * Reply, according to Dr. Felix T. Smith of Stanford Research Institute, to a physicist friend who had said "I'm afraid I don't understand the method of characteristics," as quoted in The Dancing Wu Li Masters: An Overview of the New Physics (1979) by Gary Zukav, Bantam Books, p. 208, footnote.

 * You don't have to be responsible for the world that you're in.
 * Advice given by von Neumann to Richard Feynman as quoted in "Los Alamos from Below" in Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! (1985).

 * The goys have proven the following theorem…
 * Statement at the start of a classroom lecture, as quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anyone Ever Said (1988) by Robert Byrne.

 * The calculus was the first achievement of modern mathematics and it is difficult to overestimate its importance. I think it defines more unequivocally than anything else the inception of modern mathematics; and the system of mathematical analysis, which is its logical development, still constitutes the greatest technical advance in exact thinking.
 * As quoted in Bigeometric Calculus: A System with a Scale-Free Derivative (1983) by Michael Grossman, and in Single Variable Calculus (1994) by James Stewart.

 * With four parameters I can fit an elephant, and with five I can make him wiggle his trunk.
 * Attributed to von Neumann by Enrico Fermi, as quoted by Freeman Dyson in "A meeting with Enrico Fermi" in Nature 427 (22 January 2004) p. 297

 * You wake me up early in the morning to tell me that I'm right? Please wait until I'm wrong.
 * As quoted by Jacob Bronowski in The Ascent of Man TV series

 * If one has really technically penetrated a subject, things that previously seemed in complete contrast, might be purely mathematical transformations of each other.
 * As quoted in Proportions, Prices, and Planning (1970) by András Bródy

 * If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.
 * Remark made by von Neumann as keynote speaker at the first national meeting of the Association for Computing Machinery in 1947, as mentioned by Franz L. Alt at the end of "Archaeology of computers: Reminiscences, 1945--1947", Communications of the ACM, volume 15, issue 7, July 1972, special issue: Twenty-fifth anniversary of the Association for Computing Machinery, p. 694.
 * '...Several versions of [computer] background wiring and their corresponding source [programming] languages were under discussion, each having a vocabulary between 50 and 100 [CPU] instruction types. Their implementation and testing began in 1948. They were still only on paper at the end of 1947, when the Association for Computing Machinery was founded and held its first national meeting at Aberdeen Proving Ground. The attendance at that meeting was 300; the program consisted of about a dozen papers. We had succeeded in obtaining John von Neumann as keynote speaker. He discussed the need for, and likely impact of, electronic computing. He mentioned the "new programming method" for ENIAC and explained that its seemingly small vocabulary was in fact ample: that future computers, then in the design stage, would get along on a dozen instruction types, and this was known to be adequate for expressing all of mathematics....Von Neumann went on to say that one need not be surprised at this small number, since about 1,000 words were known to be adequate for most situations of real life, and mathematics was only a small part of life, and a very simple part at that. This caused some hilarity in the audience, which provoked von Neumann to say: "If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is."'

 * There probably is a God. Many things are easier to explain if there is than if there isn't.
 * As quoted in John Von Neumann : The Scientific Genius Who Pioneered the Modern Computer, Game Theory, Nuclear Deterrence and Much More (1992) by Norman Macrae, p. 379

 * If you say why not bomb them tomorrow, I say why not today? If you say today at five o' clock, I say why not one o' clock?
 * As quoted in "The Passing of a Great Mind" by Clay Blair, Jr., in LIFE Magazine (25 February 1957), p. 96

 * Some people confess guilt to claim credit for the sin.
 * As quoted in John Von Neumann: The Scientific Genius Who Pioneered the Modern Computer, Game Theory, Nuclear Deterrence, and Much More (2016) by Norman Macrae, p. 352 in response to Oppenheimer's 'destroyer of worlds' quote.

 * It will not be sufficient to know that the enemy has only fifty possible tricks and that we can counter every one of them, but we must be able to counter them almost at the very instant they occur.
 * As quoted in Defense in Atomic War by John von Neumann. Paper delivered at a symposium in honor of Dr. R. H. Kent, December 7, 1955, The Scientific Bases of Weapons, Journ. Am. Ordnance Assoc., 21–23, 1955.

Quotes about von Neumann

 * Sorted alphabetically by author or source

 * Von Neumann had an absolute paranoia about the Russians and favored a first nuclear strike. Einstein referred to him as a Denktier, a think animal.
 * Jeremy Bernstein, in "Who Gets Credit for the Computer?: An Exchange" in The New York Review of Books (27 September 2012)
 * He would seize on the fuzzy notions of others and, by dint of his prodigious mental powers, leap five blocks ahead of the pack. “You would tell him something garbled, and he’d say, ‘Oh, you mean the following,’ and it would come back beautifully stated,” said his onetime protégé, the Harvard mathematician Raoul Bott.
 * Raou Bott, quoted in

 * I have sometimes wondered whether a brain like von Neumann's does not indicate a species superior to that of man.
 * Hans Bethe of Cornell University, as quoted in LIFE Magazine (1957), pp. 89-104
 * All people who had met him and interacted with him realized that his brain was more powerful than anyone’s they have ever encountered. I remember Hans Bethe even said, only half in jest, that von Neumann’s brain was a new development of the human brain. Only a slight exaggeration.
 * Peter Lax, in Peter Lax’s Interview, Voices of the Manhattan Project, 2016.

 * I went in and started telling him about my thesis. He listened for about ten minutes and asked me a couple of questions, and then he started telling me about my thesis. What you have really done is this, and probably this is true, and you could have done it in a somewhat simpler way, and so on. He was a really remarkable man. He listened to me talk about this rather obscure subject and in ten minutes he knew more about it than I did. He was extremely quick. I think he may have wasted a certain amount of time, by the way, because he was so willing to listen to second- or third-rate people and think about their problems. I saw him do that on many occasions.
 * David Blackwell, as quoted in Out of the Mouths of Mathematicians : A Quotation Book for Philomaths (1993) by Rosemary Schmalz, p. 213
 * quoted DeGroot, Morris H. "A conversation with David Blackwell." Statistical Science 1.1 (1986): 40-53.

 * In a Silliman lecture ... John von Neumann, who was dying at the time, wrote some of the most splendid sentences he wrote in all his life ... He pointed out that there were good grounds merely in terms of electrical analysis to show that the mind, the brain itself, could not be working on a digital system. It did not have enough accuracy; or ... it did not have enough memory. ... And he wrote some classical sentences saying there is a statistical language in the brain ... different from any other statistical language that we use... this is what we have to discover. ...I think we shall make some progress along the lines of looking for what kind of statistical language would work.
 * Jacob Bronowski, The Origins of Knowledge and Imagination (1978); referring to von Neumann's, The Computer and the Brain (1958)

 * In a 1948 Princeton talk, replying to a frequent affirmation that it's impossible to build a machine that can replace the human mind, von Neumann said: You insist that there is something that a machine can't do. If you will tell me precisely what it is that a machine cannot do, then I can always make a machine which will do just that.
 * Edwin Thompson Jaynes, Probability Theory: The Logic of Science (2003); referring to the 1948 Princeton talk he attended to.
 * Later, Tucker told me that he had gone to von Neumann and said, ‘This seems like very interesting work, but I can’t evaluate it. I don’t know whether it should really be called mathematics.’ Von Neumann replied, ‘Well, if it isn’t now, it will be someday—let’s encourage it.’ So I got my Ph.D.”
 * Marvin Minsky, quoted it

 * Bennie decided to approach Johnnie on the matter and arranged to travel to Princeton’s Institute for Advanced Study, headed up at the time by Oppenheimer, where Johnnie (and lesser geniuses such as Albert Einstein) was stationed.
 * Samuel T. Cohen, physicist and inventor of the Neutron Bomb

 * I remember a talk that Von Neumann gave at Princeton around 1950, describing the glorious future which he then saw for his computers. Most of the people that he hired for his computer project in the early days were meteorologists. Meteorology was the big thing on his horizon. He said, as soon as we have good computers, we shall be able to divide the phenomena of meteorology cleanly into two categories, the stable and the unstable. The unstable phenomena are those which are upset by small disturbances, the stable phenomena are those which are resilient to small disturbances. He said, as soon as we have some large computers working, the problems of meteorology will be solved. All processes that are stable we shall predict. All processes that are unstable we shall control. He imagined that we needed only to identify the points in space and time at which unstable processes originated, and then a few airplanes carrying smoke generators could fly to those points and introduce the appropriate small disturbances to make the unstable processes flip into the desired directions. A central committee of computer experts and meteorologists would tell the airplanes where to go in order to make sure that no rain would fall on the Fourth of July picnic. This was John von Neumann's dream. This, and the hydrogen bomb, were the main practical benefits which he saw arising from the development of computers.
 * Freeman Dyson, in an account of a 1950 talk by von Neumann, in Infinite in All Directions (1988); the statement "All stable processes we shall predict. All unstable processes we shall control" is sometimes attributed to von Neumann directly, but may be a paraphrase.

 * The only student of mine I was ever intimidated by. He was so quick. There was a seminar for advanced students in Zürich that I was teaching and von Neumann was in the class. I came to a certain theorem, and I said it is not proved and it may be difficult.  Von Neumann didn't say anything but after five minutes he raised his hand.  When I called on him he went to the blackboard and proceeded to write down the proof. After that I was afraid of von Neumann.
 * George Pólya, in How to Solve It (1957) 2nd edition, p. xv; also in The Pólya Picture Album (1987), p. 154

 * I have come to suspect that to most people thinking is painful. Some of us are addicted to thinking. Some of us find it a necessity. Johnny enjoyed it. I even have the suspicion that he enjoyed practically nothing else.
 * Edward Teller, in John Von Neumann: a documentary, Amram Nowak and Patricia Powell, Mathematical Association of America, 1966.

 * He could and did talk to my 3-year-old son on his own terms, and I sometimes wondered whether his relation to the rest of us were a little bit similar.
 * Edward Teller, in John Von Neumann: a documentary, Amram Nowak and Patricia Powell, Mathematical Association of America, 1966.

 * Quite aware that the criteria of value in mathematical work are, to some extent, purely aesthetic, he once expressed an apprehension that the values put on abstract scientific achievement in our present civilization might diminish: "The interests of humanity might change, the present curiosities in science may cease, and entirely different things may occupy the human mind in the future." One conversation centered on the ever accelerating progress of technology and changes in the mode of human life, which gives the appearance of approaching some essential singularity in the history of the race beyond which human affairs, as we know them, could not continue.
 * Stanislaw Ulam, "John von Neumann, 1903-1957" Bulletin of the American Mathematical Society 64, no.3, part 2 (May 1958)

 * Machines creating new machines After the last visitor had departed Von Neumann would retire to his second-floor study to work on the paper which he knew would be his last contribution to science. It was an attempt to formulate a concept shedding new light on the workings of the human brain. He believed that if such a concept could be stated with certainty, it would also be applicable to electronic computers and would permit man to make a major step forward in using these 'automata'. In principle, he reasoned, there was no reason why some day a machine might not be built which not only could perform most of the functions of the human brain but could actually reproduce itself, i.e., create more supermachines like it. He proposed to present this paper at Yale, where he had been invited to give the 1956 Silliman Lectures.
 * "Passing of a Great Mind: John von Neumann, a Brilliant, Jovial Mathematician, was a Prodigious Servant of Science and his Country", Clary Blair Jr., Life 25 February 1957, pg89-104

I'm convinced, in fact, that all his involvements with the halls of power were driven by his sense of the fragility of that freedom. '''By the beginning of the 1930s, if not even earlier, he became convinced that the lights of civilization would be snuffed out all over Europe by the spread of totalitarianism from the right: Nazism and Fascism. So he made an unequivocal commitment to his home in the new world and to fight to preserve and reestablish freedom from that new beachhead.''' In the 1940s and 1950s, he was equally convinced that the threat to civilization now came from totalitarianism on the left, that is, Soviet Communism, and his commitment was just as unequivocal to fighting it with whatever weapons lay at hand, scientific and economic as well as military. It was a matter of utter indifference to him, I believe, whether the threat came from the right or from the left. What motivated both his intense involvement in the issues of the day and his uncompromisingly hardline attitude was his belief in the overriding importance of political freedom, his strong sense of its continuing fragility, and his conviction that it was in the United States, and the passionate defense of the United States, that its best hope lay.
 * Throughout much of his career, he led a double life: as an intellectual leader in the ivory tower of pure mathematics and as a man of action, in constant demand as an advisor, consultant and decision-maker to what is sometimes called the military-industrial complex of the United States. My own belief is that these two aspects of his double life, his wide-ranging activities as well as his strictly intellectual pursuits, were motivated by two profound convictions. The first was the overriding responsibility that each of us has to make full use of whatever intellectual capabilities we were endowed with. He had the scientist's passion for learning and discovery for its own sake and the genius's ego-driven concern for the significance and durability of his own contributions. The second was the critical importance of an environment of political freedom for the pursuit of the first, and for the welfare of mankind in general.
 * Marina von Neumann Whitman, Introduction to John Von Neumann: Selected Letters, History of Mathematics, Vol. 27, ed. Miklos Redei (2005), pp. xv–xvi
 * He was becoming more concerned with defense than with science. But it seemed that he was living proof that one could do science without really belonging to a “guild.” In fact, he was under extreme pressure at Princeton. From there, he left for Washington and was not planning to return. Luckily, von Neumann had realized that, by having failed to claim admission to any guild, I was leading a very dangerous life. A foundation executive told me much later that von Neumann had specifically asked him to watch after me, and to help in case of trouble.
 * Benoit Mandelbrot, quoted in Barcellos, Anthony, and A. Barcellos. "Interview of BB Mandelbrot." Mathematical People: Profiles and Interviews (2008): 213-234.

$$(\psi((((a)))))^2=\phi((((a))))$$ have to be peeled before they can be digested; some irreverent students referred to this paper as von Neumann's onion.
 * A deep sense of humor and an unusual ability for telling stories and jokes endeared Johnny even to casual acquaintances. He could be blunt when necessary, but was never pompous. A mind of von Neumann's inexorable logic had to understand and accept much that most of us do not want to accept and do not even wish to understand. This fact colored many of von Neumann's moral judgments. … Only scientific intellectual dishonesty and misappropriation of scientific results could rouse his indignation and ire — but these did — and did almost equally whether he himself, or someone else, was wronged.
 * Eugene Wigner, in "John von Neumann (1903 - 1957)" in Year book of the American Philosophical Society (1958); later in Symmetries and Reflections : Scientific Essays of Eugene P. Wigner (1967), p. 261
 * One famous story concerns a complicated expression that a young scientist at the Aberdeen Proving Ground needed to evaluate. He spent ten minutes on the first special case; the second computation took an hour of paper and pencil work; for the third he had to resort to a desk calculator, and even so took half a day. When Johnny came to town, the young man showed him the formula and asked him what to do. Johnny was glad to tackle it. "Let's see what happens for the first few cases. If we put n = 1, we get..." -- and he looked into space and mumbled for a minute. Knowing the answer, the young questioner put in "2.31?" Johnny gave him a funny look and said "Now if n = 2, ...", and once again voiced some of his thoughts as he worked. The young man, prepared, could of course follow what Johnny was doing, and, a few seconds before Johnny finished, he interrupted again, in a hesitant tone of voice: "7.49?" This time Johnny frowned, and hurried on: "If n = 3, then...". The same thing happened as before - Johnny muttered for several minutes, the young man eavesdropped, and, just before Johnny finished, the young man exclaimed: "11.06!" That was too much for Johnny. It couldn't be! No unknown beginner could outdo him! He was upset and he sulked till the practical joker confessed.
 * Paul Halmos. "The legend of John von Neumann." The American mathematical monthly 80.4 (1973): 382-394.
 * Style. As a writer of mathematics von Neumann was clear, but not clean; he was powerful but not elegant. He seemed to love fussy detail, needless repetition, and notation so explicit as to be confusing. To maintain a logically valid but perfectly transparent and unimportant distinction, in one paper he introduced an extension of the usual functional notation: along with the standard $$\phi(x)$$ he dealt also with something denoted by $$\phi((x))$$. The hair that was split to get there had to be split again a little later, and there was $$\phi(((x)))$$, and, ultimately, $$\phi((((x))))$$. Equations such as
 * Paul Halmos. "The legend of John von Neumann." The American mathematical monthly 80.4 (1973): 382-394.
 * "Most mathematicians prove what they can, von Neumann proves what he wants." Once in a discussion about the rapid growth of mathematics in modern times, von Neumann was heard to remark that whereas thirty years ago a mathematician could grasp all of mathematics, that is impossible today. Someone asked him: "What percentage of all mathematics might a person aspire to understand today?" Von Neumann went into one of his five-second thinking trances, and said: "About 28 percent."
 * Lax, Peter. "Remembering John von Neumann." Proc. of Symposia in Pure Mathematics. Vol. 50. 1990.
 * The accuracy of his logic was, perhaps, the most decisive character of his mind. One had the impression of a perfect instrument whose gears were machined to mesh accurately to a thousandth of an inch. "If one listens to von Neumann, one understands how the human mind should work," was the verdict of one of our perceptive colleagues... "If he analyzed a problem, it was not necessary to discuss it any further. It was clear what had to be done," said the present chairman of the U. S. Atomic Energy Commission.
 * "John von Neumann (1903 - 1957)" by Eugene Wigner, in Year book of the American Philosophical Society (1958)
 * [On Rayleigh–Taylor instability] So, Fermi said, "Let me make a model; I'll have a broad tongue which moves into the dense material; I'll have a narrow tongue that moves away from it, and I'll just solve this numerically." So, he did some of that, but he wasn't quite satisfied with the solution. One afternoon around 4:50 p.m., John von Neumann came by and saw what Fermi had on the blackboard and asked what he was doing. So, Enrico told him, and John von Neumann said, "That's very interesting." He came back about 15 minutes later and gave him the answer. Fermi leaned against his doorpost and told me, "You know, that man makes me feel I know no mathematics at all."
 * Garwin, Richard L. "Working with Fermi at Chicago and Los Alamos." Bulletin of the American Physical Society 55 (2010).
 * The mathematician John von Neumann, born Neumann Janos in Budapest in 1903, was incomparably intelligent, so bright that, the Nobel Prize-winning physicist Eugene Wigner would say, "only he was fully awake." One night in early 1945, von Neumann woke up and told his wife, Klari, that "what we are creating now is a monster whose influence is going to change history, provided there is any history left. Yet it would be impossible not to see it through." Von Neumann was creating one of the first computers, in order to build nuclear weapons. But, Klari said, it was the computers that scared him the most.
 * The Nucleus of the Digital Age (Konstantin Kakaes, 2012), review of Turing's Cathedral by George Dyson.
 * What Von Neumann contributed as far as the engineering was concerned, was simply the enormous confidence everybody had that a machine so simple, and with no more doodads on it could knock dead, so to speak, an enormous amount of the computation that needed to be done in this world for the next few decades. He never came over and said to make a circuit of this, but he did know so much more of the deeper aspects of mathematics and the practical aspects of computation than any of the rest of us. What he did essentially, was to serve as this unshakable confidence that said: "Go ahead, nothing else matters, get it running at this speed and this capability, and the rest of it is just a lot of nonsense."
 * Julian Bigelow, Computer Oral History Collection, 1969-1973, 1977; Interviewer: Richard R. Mertz; Date: January 20, 1971

 * Von Neumann is "an enigma of nature that will have to remain unresolved". His wife.

title: John von Neumann