text:
User talk:204.213.230.85

- InvisibleSun 00:50, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: User talk:204.213.230.85


text:
User talk:131.94.142.118

- InvisibleSun 00:51, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:131.94.142.118


text:
Mighty Sparrow

Mighty Sparrow or Birdie (born Slinger Francisco, July 9, 1935, in Grandroy Bay, Grenada, West Indies) is a calypso singer, songwriter, and guitarist. The self-dubbed "Calypso King of the World," he is one of the most well-known and successful calypsonians. He has won Trinidad's Carnival Road March competition nine times and has been named Calypso Monarch eight times, achieving both accolades more times than any other calypsonian.

Sourced

 * Universities are turning out thousands of reporters. They are quite bright and they don't have to rhyme.
 * Kurlansky, Mark. 1992. A Continent of Islands: Searching for the Caribbean Destiny. Addison-Wesley. ISBN 0-201-52396-5, p. 121.

title: Mighty Sparrow


text:
Category:USA shows

These are television shows produced by and/or originally distributed on the USA Network cable television channel.

title: Category:USA shows


text:
User talk:Iakd87

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  02:12, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Iakd87


text:
User talk:Carltons

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  02:49, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
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 * Also see What Wikiquote is not for common activities that Wikiquote does not support.
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title: User talk:Carltons


text:
User talk:Stephb

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  02:50, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * Also see What Wikiquote is not for common activities that Wikiquote does not support.
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title: User talk:Stephb


text:
User talk:64.231.222.228

Thanks for experimenting with Wikiquote. Your test worked, and has now been reverted or removed. Please use Sandbox for any other tests you want to do, since testing in articles will normally be reverted quickly. Please see the welcome page if you would like to learn more about contributing to our compendium of quotations. For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote, and also What Wikiquote is not for a list of common activities that Wikiquote does not support.  Cbrown1023  talk  03:02, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:64.231.222.228


text:
User talk:Zleitzen~enwikiquote

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  03:22, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Zleitzen. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Zleitzen~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:40, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 06:01, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Zleitzen~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Jodiep

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  03:22, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Jodiep


text:
User talk:Wittypedia

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  03:22, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Wittypedia


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2005 November


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2005 December


text:
User talk:24.221.141.112

~ Kalki 04:32, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:24.221.141.112


text:
User talk:70.178.208.67

~ Kalki 04:32, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:70.178.208.67


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2006 January


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2006 February


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2006 March


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2006 May


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2006 April


text: Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Log/2006 June


text:
User talk:Grenavitar

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! --Aphaia 08:01, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Grenavitar


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Death our compainion

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:19, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Death our compainion
notability challenged; Book "not yet published" is not within our scope and the name who seems to be the author gives back almost no google/goodsearch result.--Aphaia 08:30, 20 February 2007 (UTC).

 * Vote closes: 20:00, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete unless notability is provided. --Aphaia 08:30, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. ~ UDScott 17:22, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:34, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. - InvisibleSun 22:21, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. Wikipedia is not a crystal ball; Wikiquote shouldn't be, either.--Poetlister 18:01, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
User talk:219.88.166.115

~ Kalki 08:54, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:219.88.166.115


text:
User talk:Wytse

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! --Aphaia 09:22, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Wytse


text:
User:Andrewkeith80

long time reader, never contributed.

Location : Malaysia Languages : Fluent in English and Bahasa Malaysia

title: User:Andrewkeith80


text:
Category talk:Pages which need their copyright status checked

Category:Pages which need their copyright status checked and Category:Possible copyright violations
In my impression those two categories handle similar problems and possible to be merged. I prefer this because it sounds more mild; I saw many people harden their mind when they heard their contributions were under suspicion of copyvio. Even if they were proved innocence, not every of them seemed happy and lost a favor for project. So I think we are better to avoid causing emotional problems with a mild wording, and it isn't a problem for editors since none of us need to remember this lengthy name, but need only to type .--Aphaia 11:07, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

 * Well, I've always understood the two to be used for different things. I created the copyvio template for cases of obvious copyright violation, usually those cases when a page was nothing more than a copy of a website or similar. This was in response to a series of pages being VFD-nominated as copyvio and blanked; I adapted the Wikipedia copyvio template so that we could provide a consistent message for when pages are blanked as copyvio. On the other hand, it's been my thought to use checkcopyright when a page simply has acquired so many quotes that it's a possible copyright violation, but isn't a direct copy of a source (that is, pages that quote more of a book/film/TV show/etc. than can be considered fair use, but still isn't a blatant copyright violation). I've seen the distinction as, copyvio is for obvious, blatant, copy/paste copyvio, while checkcopyright is for pages that simply are overquoting.
 * While it would certainly be possible to combine the two (and their categories), I think we'd lose an important distinction between the two classes. (I find it generally easier to trim down an "organically-developed" copyvio (which I'd have tagged with checkcopyright, and often have some level of formatting) than a copy/paste of a web page copyvio (which I'd have blanked and tagged copyvio), and are often basically raw dumps of data). —LrdChaos (talk)
 * While I still think normally we are better to use soften words, your creation is not so much tested, and worthy to be experimented. I concur with you to have two for a while to see if this paralelism works well. --Aphaia 07:40, 2 March 2007 (UTC)


text:
Djuna Barnes

Djuna Barnes (June 12, 1892 – June 18, 1982) was an American novelist, poet, and playwright.

Quotes

 * We are beginning to wonder whether a servant girl hasn’t the best of it after all. She knows how the salad tastes without the dressing, and she knows how life’s lived before it gets to the parlor door.
 * The Home Club: For Servants Only, in the Brooklyn Daily Eagle (12 October 1913)

 * I am not a critic; to me criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
 * "The Songs of Synge: The Man Who Shaped His Life as He Shaped His Plays", in New York Morning Telegraph (18 February 1917)

 * New York is the meeting place of the peoples, the only city where you can hardly find a typical American.
 * Greenwich Village as It Is, in Pearson’s Magazine (October 1916)

 * After all, it is not where one washes one’s neck that counts but where one moistens one’s throat.
 * Greenwich Village as It Is, in Pearson’s Magazine (October 1916)

 * Well, isn’t Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else — and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian?
 * Becoming Intimate with the Bohemians, New York Morning Telegraph Sunday Magazine (19 November 1916)

 * Morbid? You make me laugh. This life I write and draw and portray is life as it is, and therefore you call it morbid. Look at my life. Look at the life around me. Where is this beauty that I am supposed to miss? The nice episodes that others depict? Is not everything morbid? I mean the life of people stripped of their masks. Where are the relieving features? Often I sit down to work at my drawing board, at my typewriter. All of a sudden my joy is gone. I feel tired of it all because, I think, "What's the use?" Today we are, tomorrow dead. We are born and don't know why. We live and suffer and strive, envious or envied. We love, we hate, we work, we admire, we despise. … Why? And we die, and no one will ever know that we have been born.
 * When asked why she is "so dreadfully morbid", in an interview with Guido Bruno (December 1919)

 * If Helen of Troy could have been seen eating peppermints out of a paper bag, it is highly probable that her admirers would have been an entirely different class. It is the thing you are found doing while the horde looks on that you shall be loved for — or ignored.
 * What Do You See, Madam? (1932)

 * Suffering for love is how I have learned practically everything I know, love of grandmother up and on.
 * Letter to Emily Holmes Coleman (2 February 1934)

 * Of course I think of the past and of Paris, what else is there to remember?
 * In a 1960 letter to Natalie Barney, as quoted in Paris Was a Woman (1995) by Andrea Weiss, p. 173

 * The Seal, she lounges like a bride, Much too docile, there's no doubt; Madame Récamier, on side, (if such she has), and bottom out.
 * Creatures in an Alphabet (1982)

 * We are adhering to life now with our last muscle — the heart.
 * Quoted in "The Way of Transition : Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moments" (2002) by William Bridges, p. 204

 * There is always more surface to a shattered object than a whole.
 * In a letter to Emily Coleman, as quoted in The Book of Repulsive Women and Other Poems : Selected Poems (2003), edited by Rebecca Loncraine, p. xi

The Book of Repulsive Women (1915)

 * Someday beneath some hard Capricious star — Spreading its light a little Over far, We'll know you for the woman That you are.
 * From Fifth Avenue Up

 * What turn of card, what trick of game Undiced? And you we valued still a little More than Christ.
 * In General

 * Ah God! she settles down we say; It means her powers slip away It means she draws back day by day From good or bad.
 * From Third Avenue On

 * Somewhere beneath her hurried curse, A corpse lies bounding in a hearse; And friends and relatives disperse, And are not stirred.
 * From Third Avenue On

 * What turn of body, what of lust Undiced? So we've worshipped you a little More than Christ.
 * In Particular

 * One sees you sitting in the sun Asleep; With the sweeter gifts you had And didn't keep, One grieves that the altars of Your vice lie deep.
 * Twilight of the Illicit

 * We watched her come with subtle fire And learned feet, Stumbling among the lustful drunk Yet somehow sweet. We saw the crimson leave her cheeks Flame in her eyes; For when a woman lives in awful haste A woman dies.  The jests that lit our hours by night And made them gay, Soiled a sweet and ignorant soul And fouled its play.
 * To a Cabaret Dancer

Nightwood (1936)

 * The heart of the jealous knows the best and most satisfying love, that of the other’s bed, where the rival perfects the lover’s imperfections.
 * Ch. 5 : Watchman, What of the Night?

 * I’m a fart in a gale of wind, a humble violet, under a cow pat.
 * Ch. 5 : Watchman, What of the Night?

 * Dreams have only the pigmentation of fact.
 * Ch. 5 : Watchman, What of the Night?

 * Sleep demands of us a guilty immunity. There is not one of us who, given an eternal incognito, a thumbprint nowhere set against our souls, would not commit rape, murder and all abominations.
 * Ch. 5 : Watchman, What of the Night?

 * The night is a skin pulled over the head of day that the day may be in torment.
 * Ch. 5 : Watchman, What of the Night?

 * One's life is peculiar to one's own when one has invented it.
 * Ch. 6 : Where the Tree Falls

 * In the acceptance of depravity the sense of the past is most truly captured. What is a ruin but time easing itself of endurance? Corruption is the Age of Time.
 * Ch. 6 : Where the Tree Falls

 * Destiny and history are untidy.
 * Ch. 6 : Where the Tree Falls

 * A man is whole only when he takes into account his shadow as well as himself — and what is a man's shadow but his upright astonishment?
 * Ch. 6 : Where the Tree Falls

 * Life is not to be told, call it as loud as you like, it will not tell itself.
 * Ch. 7 : Go Down, Matthew

 * A strong sense of identity gives man an idea he can do no wrong; too little accomplishes the same.
 * Ch. 7 : Go Down, Matthew

Quotes about Barnes

 * Contemporary writers and artists praised her style, feared her tongue; she was a beauty, but a talented, acerbic, and powerfully intelligent one.
 * Mary Lynn Broe, in ''Silence and Power : A Reevaluation of Djuna Barnes, Introduction, p. 3

 * Complex in her privacy, refusing to be controlled by an audience or pinioned to a single representation, she once told Henry Ramont of the the New York Times, "I used to be invited by people who said, 'Get Djuna for dinner, she's amusing.' So I stopped it."
 * Mary Lynn Broe, in ''Silence and Power : A Reevaluation of Djuna Barnes, Introduction, p. 5

 * She was a spendthrift of the spirit, an American in Paris when, as Evelyn Waugh said, the going was good.
 * Anatole Broyard (28 June 1980)

title: Djuna Barnes


text: User:Celithemis

title: User:Celithemis


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Bangladeshi Wikipedians

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:20, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Category:Bangladeshi Wikipedians
we have no consensus if we are looking for user categories. Besides that, it is not fully meaningful to have them under the name "Wikipedians". It is a bit controversial our regulars but not contributors to Wikipedia can be still named "Wikipedians" etc. Even if we reach the conclusion we are better to keep it, I guess, the result is not mere keep, but rename.--Aphaia 11:24, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Vote closes: 20:00, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete Building community is good in general but it is not the time in my impression with such tools. --Aphaia 11:24, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. ~ UDScott 17:22, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:34, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. - InvisibleSun 22:23, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete Firstly, if you are not a Wikipedia editor you are not a Wikipedian. Secondly, I suspect that this would be divisive and not helpful in building a community.--Poetlister 18:02, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete is a category denoting Wikipedia required on Wikiquote? I think not. Dev920 00:48, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Pederastic poetry

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:21, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Category:Pederastic poetry
Simply mismatch of theme and naming. It is named "poetry" category but two articles under it are focused on poets ... also I have no idea if we really need this category either for poetry or for poets: there are only two items in this category for now.--Aphaia 11:51, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Vote closed: 20:00, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete mainly due to its mismatching name. --Aphaia 11:51, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete, not necessarily for a mismatched name, but for the reason that this seems to be too narrowly focused for a category. ~ UDScott 17:24, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:34, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. I doubt the usefulness of subdividing categories of poetry. In the first place, such categories often tend to be fairly subjective. In addition, any category that is chosen for a page would suggest that all the quotes on the page must belong to that category.  There are, for example, satirical verses on the pages of Pope or Byron, but many other quotes are not satirical.  What, then, if someone were to create a category (Poetic Satire or, simply, Satire) and add it to those pages? It would be accurate only for parts and not for the whole. I think that we should stick to broad, general categories pertaining to writers (Novelists, Playwrights, etc.) and not to their works (Love Poetry, Lyric Poetry, etc.) - InvisibleSun 22:44, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete I cannot imagine that many people are on the lookout for pederasty on this site.--Poetlister 18:03, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete Don't have a problem with pederasty, but with only two people, not even two poems, in it, seems silly to keep. Dev920 00:45, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Edward Condon

Edward Uhler Condon (March 2, 1902 – March 26, 1974) was a distinguished nuclear physicist, a pioneer in quantum mechanics, a participant in the development of radar and nuclear weapons in World War II, research director of Corning Glass, director of the National Bureau of Standards, and president of the American Physical Society (as well as, late in his life, professor of physics at the University of Colorado.

Quotes

 * In short, the greatest contribution to real security that science can make is through the extension of the scientific method to the social sciences and a solution of the problem of complete avoidance of war.
 * in Science, Vol. 107, June 25, 1948, p. 665

 * If physics is too difficult for the physicists, the nonphysicist may wonder whether he should try at all to grasp its complexities and ambiguities. It is undeniably an effort, but probably one worth making, for the basic questions are important and the new experimental results are often fascinating. And if the layman runs into serious perplexities, he can be consoled with the thought that the points which baffle him are more than likely the ones for which the professionals have not found satisfactory answers.
 * Physics, in What is Science?: Twelve Eminent Scientists and Philosophers Explain Their Various Fields to the Layman, by James Roy Newman, published by Simon and Schuster (1955), p. 102

 * When [ Born and Heisenberg and the Göttingen theoretical physicists] first discovered matrix mechanics they were having, of course, the same kind of trouble that everybody else had in trying to solve problems and to manipulate and to really do things with matrices. So they had gone to Hilbert for help and Hilbert said the only time he had ever had anything to do with matrices was when they came up as a sort of  by-product of the eigenvalues of the boundary-value problem of a differential equation.  So if you look for the differential equation which has these matrices you can probably do more with that.  They had thought it was a goofy idea and that Hilbert didn’t know what he was talking about.  So he was having a lot of fun pointing out to them that they could have discovered Schrödinger’s wave mechanics six month earlier if they had paid a little more attention to him.
 * Constance Reid Hilbert (Springer-Verlag, 1996) [ISBN 0-387-94674-8] p. 182. Also quoted in Max Jammer, The Conceptual Development of Quantum Mechanics (McGraw-Hill, 1966) pp. 207-208. Jammer cites the original reference: Edward U. Condon 60 Years of Quantum Physics, Physics Today 15 37-49 (1962)

About

 * By an incredible coincidence, Gamow and Edward Condon, who had discovered simultaneously and independently the explanation of radioactivity (one in Russia, the other in this country), came to spend the the last ten years of their lives within a hundred yards of each other in Boulder.
 * Stanislaw Ulam, Adventures of a Mathematician (1991), p. 267

title: Edward Condon


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:WpEnergyPortal

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:23, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Template:WpEnergyPortal
We don't have any portals, especially not this one, and a template here announcing that Wikipedia has such a portal is not particularly useful. —LrdChaos (talk) 16:56, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Vote closed: 27 February 2007, 20:00 (UTC)

 * Delete. —LrdChaos (talk) 16:56, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete per nom. Perhaps we can delete Portal and Category:Portal in the same reason? --Aphaia 16:58, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. ~ UDScott 17:25, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete.  Cbrown1023  talk  21:36, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. - InvisibleSun 22:46, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
 * I would propose for inclusion Category:Energy as deletion candidate; it is bound to this template and unused. --Aphaia 06:31, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete Looks like someone has transwikied without thinking.--Poetlister 18:05, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Template:Vfd-template-new

‹The template Template: has been proposed for deletion here.›

This template is used to nominate templates for deletion, providing a discreet alert to readers of pages using the template that minimizes the impact on the page itself.

Usage

where:

 * is the name of the template (without the  prefix)
 * is the optional VfD discussion title (if different from )

title: Template:Vfd-template-new


text:
User:LrdChaos/Nominating a template for deletion

("VfD" as used on this page is an abbreviation for "Votes for Deletion".) To list a template for deletion for the first time, follow this three-step process:


text:
John Searle

'' John Rogers Searle (born July 31, 1932) is the Slusser Professor of Philosophy at the University of California, and is noted for contributions to the philosophy of language, philosophy of mind and consciousness, on the characteristics of socially constructed versus physical realities, and on practical reason. He was awarded the Jean Nicod Prize in 2000.

Quotes

 * The problem posed by indirect speech acts is the problem of how it is possible for the speaker to say one thing and mean that but also to mean something else.
 * Expression and Meaning, p. 31, Cambridge University Press (1979).

 * It is apparently very congenial for some people who are professionally concerned with fictional texts to be told that all texts are really fictional anyway, and that claims that fiction differs significantly from science and philosophy can be deconstructed as a logocentric prejudice, and it seems positively exhilarating to be told that what we call "reality" is just more textuality. Furthermore, the lives of such people are made much easier than they had previously supposed, because now they don't have to worry about an author's intentions, about precisely what a text means, or about distinctions within a text between the metaphorical and the literal, or about the distinction between texts and the world because everything is just a free play of signifiers. The upper limit, and I believe the reductio ad absurdum, of this "sense of mastery" conveyed by deconstruction, is in Geoffrey Hartman's claim that the prime creative task has now passed from the literary artist to the critic.
 * "The Word Turned Upside Down", The New York Review of Books, Volume 30, Number 16, October 27, 1983.

 * One can imagine a computer simulation of the action of peptides in the hypothalamus that is accurate down to the last synapse. But equally one can imagine a computer simulation of the oxidation of hydrocarbons in a car engine or the action of digestive processes in a stomach when it is digesting pizza. And the simulation is no more the real thing in the case of the brain than it is in the case of the car or the stomach. Barring miracles, you could not run your car by doing a computer simulation of the oxidation of gasoline, and you could not digest pizza by running the program that simulates such digestion. It seems obvious that a simulation of cognition will similarly not produce the effects of the neurobiology of cognition.
 * "Is the Brain’s Mind a Computer Program?", Scientific American (January 1990).

 * The ascription of an unconscious intentional phenomenon to a system implies that the phenomenon is in principle accessible to consciousness.
 * A statement of the author’s “connection principle.”
 * "Consciousness, Explanatory Inversion, and Cognitive Science," The Behavioral and Brain Sciences 13, 4 (December 1990): 585-696.

 * Where conscious subjectivity is concerned, there is no distinction between the observation and the thing observed.
 * The Rediscovery of the Mind, p. 97, MIT Press (1992) ISBN 0-262-69154-X.

 * Materialism ends up denying the existence of any irreducible subjective qualitative states of sentience or awareness.
 * Consciousness and Language (2002) p. 47.

 * Dualism makes the problem insoluble; materialism denies the existence of any phenomenon to study, and hence of any problem.
 * Consciousness and Language (2002) p. 47.

 * Precisely by inculcating a critical attitude, the "canon" served to demythologize the conventional pieties of the American bourgeoisie and provided the student with a perspective from which to critically analyze American culture and institutions. Ironically, the same tradition is now regarded as oppressive. The texts once served an unmasking function; now we are told that it is the texts which must be unmasked.
 * "The Storm Over the University", The New York Review of Books, December 6, 1990

 * I once had a conversation with a famous French philosopher who's a friend of mine. And I said to him, "Why the hell do you write so badly? Pourquoi tu écrivez si mal?" ... And this was Michel Foucault. He was a very smart guy and wrote a lot of very good stuff but in general he just wrote badly. When you heard him give a lecture in Berkeley, it was perfectly clear, just as clear as I am. ... And he said, "Well, in France, it would be regarded as somewhat childish and naive if you wrote clearly. ... In France you've got to have 10% incomprehensible." Otherwise people won't think it's deep. They won't think you're a profound thinker.

 * And I gave a series of lectures in Paris at the Collège de France with another very famous French philosopher as my host, Pierre Bourdieu, and I told this story to Pierre, ... And he said it's worse than 10%, more like 20%. And I have to say if you read Bourdieu, yeah, 20% at least ...

 * You see, there was a time when I learned French when the slogan was, "Si ce n'est pas clair, ce n'est pas français. If it's not clear, it's not French." That has been abandoned in French philosophy and a lot of it is very obscure.
 * UC Berkeley Philosophy of Language (Philosophy 133), lecture 21, 40:00, Fall 2010

Speech Acts: An Essay in the Philosophy of Language (1969)

 * Cambridge University Press

 * In the performance of an illocutionary act in the literal utterance of a sentence, the speaker intends to produce a certain effect by means of getting the hearer to recognize his intention to produce that effect; and furthermore, if he is using the words literally, he intends this recognition to be achieved in virtue of the fact that the rules for using the expressions he utters associate the expression with the production of that effect.
 * P. 45.

 * Whatever is referred to must exist. Let us call this the axiom of existence.
 * P. 77.

 * The general nature of the speech act fallacy can be stated as follows, using “good” as our example. Calling something good is characteristically praising or commending or recommending it, etc. But it is a fallacy to infer from this that the meaning of “good” is explained by saying it is used to perform the act of commendation.
 * P. 139.

 * The assertion fallacy ... is the fallacy of confusing the conditions for the performance of the speech act of assertion with the analysis of the meaning of particular words occurring in certain assertions.
 * P. 141.

 * Well, what does “good” mean anyway...? As Wittgenstein suggested, “good,” like “game,” has a family of meanings. Prominent among them is this one: “meets the criteria or standards of assessment or evaluation.”
 * P. 152.

Intentionality: An Essay in the Philosophy of Mind (1983)

 * Cambridge University Press

 * Where questions of style and exposition are concerned I try to follow a simple maxim: if you can’t say it clearly you don’t understand it yourself.
 * P. x.

 * It seems to me obvious that infants and many animals that do not in any ordinary sense have a language or perform speech acts nonetheless have Intentional states. Only someone in the grip of a philosophical theory would deny that small babies can literally be said to want milk and that dogs want to be let out or believe that their master is at the door.
 * P. 5.

 * There is probably no more abused a term in the history of philosophy than “representation,” and my use of this term differs both from its use in traditional philosophy and from its use in contemporary cognitive psychology and artificial intelligence.... The sense of “representation” in question is meant to be entirely exhausted by the analogy with speech acts: the sense of “represent” in which a belief represents its conditions of satisfaction is the same sense in which a statement represents its conditions of satisfaction. To say that a belief is a representation is simply to say that it has a propositional content and a psychological mode.
 * P. 12.

 * An utterance can have Intentionality, just as a belief has Intentionality, but whereas the Intentionality of the belief is intrinsic the Intentionality of the utterance is derived.
 * P. 27.

 * The Intentionality of the mind not only creates the possibility of meaning, but limits its forms.
 * P. 166.

The Storm Over the University (December 6, 1990)

 * The New York Review of Books

 * I cannot recall a time when American education was not in a "crisis." We have lived through Sputnik (when we were "falling behind the Russians"), through the era of "Johnny can't read," and through the upheavals of the Sixties. Now a good many books are telling us that the university is going to hell in several different directions at once. I believe that, at least in part, the crisis rhetoric has a structural explanation: since we do not have a national consensus on what success in higher education would consist of, no matter what happens, some sizable part of the population is going to regard the situation as a disaster. As with taxation and relations between the sexes, higher education is essentially and continuously contested territory. Given the history of that crisis rhetoric, one's natural response to the current cries of desperation might reasonably be one of boredom.

 * The student should have enough knowledge of his or her cultural tradition to know how it got to be the way it is. This involves both political and social history, on the one hand, as well as the mastery of some of the great philosophical and literary texts of the culture on the other. It involves reading not only texts that are of great value, like those of Plato, but many less valuable that have been influential, such as the works of Marx. For the United States, the dominant tradition is, and for the foreseeable future, will remain the European tradition. The United States is, after all, a product of the European Enlightenment. However, you do not understand your own tradition if you do not see it in relation to others. Works from other cultural traditions need to be studied as well.

 * You need to know enough of the natural sciences so that you are not a stranger in the world.

 * You need to know at least one foreign language well enough so that you can read the best literature that that language has produced in the original, and so you carry on a reasonable conversation and have dreams in that language. There are several reasons why this is crucial, but the most important is perhaps this: you can never understand one language until you understand at least two.

 * You need to know enough philosophy so that the methods of logical analysis are available to you to be used as a tool. One of the most depressing things about educated people today is that so few of them, even among professional intellectuals, are able to follow the steps of a simple logical argument.

 * Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you need to acquire the skills of writing and speaking that make for candor, rigor, and clarity. You cannot think clearly if you cannot speak and write clearly.

 * Just acquiring this amount of "education" will not, by itself, make you an educated person, even less will it give you what Oakeshott calls "judgment." But if the manner of instruction is adequate, the student should be able to acquire this much knowledge in a way that combines intellectual openness, critical scrutiny, and logical clarity. If so, learning will not stop when the student leaves the university.

Minds, Brains and Programs (1980)

 * Behavioral and Brain Sciences

 * I want to block some common misunderstandings about "understanding": In many of these discussions one finds a lot of fancy footwork about the word "understanding."

 * I will argue that in the literal sense the programmed computer understands what the car and the adding machine understand, namely, exactly nothing.

 * In many cases it is a matter for decision and not a simple matter of fact whether x understands y; and so on.

 * My car and my adding machine understand nothing: they are not in that line of business.

 * Our tools are extensions of our purposes, and so we find it natural to make metaphorical attributions of intentionality to them; but I take it no philosophical ice is cut by such examples.

 * The sense in which an automatic door "understands instructions" from its photoelectric cell is not at all the sense in which I understand English.

 * There are clear cases in which "understanding" literally applies and clear cases in which it does not apply; and these two sorts of cases are all I need for this argument.

 * We often attribute "understanding" and other cognitive predicates by metaphor and analogy to cars, adding machines, and other artifacts, but nothing is proved by such attributions.

"Our shared condition — consciousness" (May, 2013)

 * The lecture filmed at TEDxCERN

 * I have only one real message in this lecture, and that is: consciousness is a biological phenomenon, like photosynthesis, digestion, mitosis—you know all the biological phenomena—and once you accept that, most, if not all about the hard problems of consciousness simply evaporate.

 * All of our conscious states, without exception, are caused by lower level neurobiological processes in the brain, and they are realized in the brain as higher level, or system features. It's about as mysterious as the liquidity of water, right? The liquidity is not an extra juice squirted out by the H2O molecules, it's a condition that the system is in; and just as the jar full of water can go from a liquid to solid, depending on the behavior of the molecules, so your brain can go from a state of being conscious to a state of being unconscious, depending on the behavior of the molecules. The famous mind body problem is that simple.

 * Descartes may have made a lot of mistakes, but he was right about this: you cannot doubt the existence of your own consciousness. That's the first feature of consciousness, it's real and irreducible. You cannot get rid of it by showing that it's an illusion in a way that you can with other standard illusions.

"Does Consciousness Defeat Materialism?" (October 2015)

 * Closer to Truth interview

 * There is one mistake we got to avoid, and that is the mistake of supposing that if you simulate it, you duplicate it. This is a deep mistake embedded in our popular culture - that simulation is equivalent to duplication, but of course it isn't. A perfect simulation of the brain - say, on a computer - would no longer thereby be conscious than a perfect simulation of a rainstorm on a weather-predicting computer will leave us all wet.

Quotes about Searle

 * The philosopher John Searle once told me that reading Nietzsche was like drinking cognac -- a sip was good, but you didn't want to drink the whole bottle.
 * Gary Kamiya, "Falling Out With Superman", The New York Times, January 23, 2000

 * [John Searle is] right in saying that a lot of Derrida's arguments … are just awful.
 * Richard Rorty, "Essays on Heidegger and Others", (Philosophical Papers II, Cambridge : Cambridge, University Press, 1991), pp. 94-95.

 * According to Searle then, there is no more a mind–body problem than there is a macro–micro economics problem. They are different levels of description of the same set of phenomena. ...But Searle is careful to maintain that the mental – the domain of qualitative experience and understanding – is autonomous and has no counterpart on the microlevel; any redescription of these macroscopic features amounts to a kind of evisceration.
 * Joshua Rust, John Searle (2009).

title: John Searle


title: 1932


text:
User talk:Pankaj.rao

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User talk:Jbchua~enwikiquote

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User talk:Prkmcs

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User talk:Hikachan

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User talk:Huntelord~enwikiquote

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The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

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User talk:Andrewkeith80

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User talk:Celithemis

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User talk:Creepiest dani

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User talk:Thyroidless

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User talk:Special820~enwikiquote

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User talk:Gralo~enwikiquote

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Your account will be renamed
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The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

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User talk:LloydMichael

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User talk:Lisette~enwikiquote

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Your account will be renamed
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The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

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User talk:Chinakid~enwikiquote

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The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

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title: User talk:Chinakid~enwikiquote


text:
Narbonic

Narbonic is a webcomic by Shaenon K. Garrity.

The Job Interview

 * Helen: Are you the alfalfa delivery man? Tell me you're the alfalfa delivery man.

 * Dave: You didn't tell me I'd be working for a mad scientist! You gave me no intimation!
 * Mell: I told you she was working on a doomsday machine.

 * Helen: All I did was threaten to unleash giant mutant gerbils upon Washington DC unless the U.S. government agrees to my demands.

ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST

 * Dave: There's a trenchcoated man quoting Shakespeare below us.

 * Dave: Did you HAVE to keep a giant rotating blade set up in your office?

 * Dave: Her [Mell's] distraction tactic is singing highlights from "Funny Girl" while wearing my boxers on her head?

New Digs/Employee Brain Scans/Interview with the Mad Scientist

 * Helen's evil side: Kill him . . . Kill the nerd . ..
 * Helen's good side: No, Helen! Only maim him!  Break his kneecaps!

 * Helen: Hi, guys. Welcome to our first personnel meeting. First item on the agenda is the brain scans I've been performing on you all week . ..
 * Dave: Brain scans?? I never agreed to any brain scans!
 * Mell: Yes you did. It's part of the form you have to fill out to borrow pens.

 * Helen: I am NOT! . . . I never did! . . . You've never even MET Mom! . ..
 * Dave: Look, if you don't want to know what I'm thinking, just don't look.

Professor Madblood and the Crystal of Marinia

 * Helen: Drat! Giant robot!

 * Helen: On this mission, Madblood is my adversary. I need to concentrate on subduing him, not FLIRTING!
 * Mell: Subduing him?
 * Helen: Right.
 * Mell:Bringing him under your thrall?
 * Helen: Yeah.
 * Mell: Whipping him into submission?
 * Helen: Ye--That's enough out of you.
 * Mell: I agree. It beats flirting.

 * Helen: So, Professor Madblood, we eat at last.

 * Dave: [on the phone] Wait. I thought I was the only one who has a car.
 * Mell: [there is a smoking carcass in the background] Had. You're swift.
 * Helen: Ask if he's registered with AAA.

Smart Gerbils

 * Helen: But I am your creator! You must obey me!
 * Superintelligent Gerbil: I'm afraid not. Our philosophers reject your claim that you created us. The true Creator is the monolith we call AIG-KALI, the Giver of Food. We wish to welcome the eternal and goodly reign of Aig-Kali with blood sacrafices of the most devout before the Meat Crisper of Righteousness.
 * Helen: You worship the REFRIGERATOR?

 * Mell: EAT HOT LEADED DEATH, FREAK-MICE!

 * Superintelligent Gerbil: Attention oppressors! We have acquired your space laser!  Surrender now or we will be forced to activate it!
 * Helen: This is the oppressors! Go ahead!
 * Superintelligent gerbil: PREPARE TO BE DISINTEGRATED AS SOON AS WE'RE DONE SOLDERING!
 * Dave: Once again, my lack of work ethic has saved lives.

Dr. Narbon

 * Dr. Narbon: [repeated line] Heh heh heh.

 * Helen: I WATCHED THE VILLAGERS BURN YOU AT THE STAKE, CHOP YOUR CORPSE INTO LITTLE PIECES, AND HOP ALL OVER THEM!
 * Dr. Narbon: There's always an out, Beta. Remember that.

 * Dr. Narbon: Are you trying to steal a sample of my DNA for private analysis?
 * Artie: Er . . . yes.
 * Dr. Narbon: Try this. It's already sequenced.

 * Dr. Narbon: You know, Beta, in the lab you were raised in, we took gene samples from the animals, not the other way around.

 * Helen: Any gerbil who talks should thank his lucky STARS for wanton gene splicing!

 * Dr. Narbon: You believe me now, Davey?
 * Dave: Yes! Yes!  I believe you've travelled through time specifically to bug me and steal my toys.

Dave's Dead, Dave

 * Dr. Narbon: He was broken when I got him.

 * Helen: I can't believe Dave's dead!
 * Dr. Narbon: It's pretty easy to believe, the way he keeps laying there.

 * Dr. Narbon: You know I've met up with this Davenport character all over time, right? I happen to know he lives into his mid-twenties.
 * Helen: He's 24 now.
 * Dr. Narbon: Oh.

 * Helen: In the coming weeks, we can expect to deal with the messiness of a funeral, accusations from family and friends, inconvenient questions from the police . . . or we could bury him in the back, and the chances are pretty good that only his mailing lists will miss him.
 * Mell: There's shovels in the supply closet.

Mell's Major

 * Mell: Did I say "him"? I meant "it". The situation. Taken care of.
 * Career Guidance Officer: Miss Kelly, if you know anything about the whereabouts of Dr. Seconi's ears . ..

Get a Life

 * Dave: (upon realizing he is in the line for Hell, not Heaven) Oh, d-
 * Caliban: Precisely. Don't hold up the queue.

 * Dave: Demons carry cell phones that play "My Heart Will Go On"?
 * Caliban: It's those little extra touches that make our organization the best in the business.

 * Dave: YOU CAN'T SENTENCE SIR POUNCE TO ETERNAL TORMENT!

 * Victorian Helen: You're like the Mr. Davenport I recall, yet infinitely scruffier.

 * Victorian Helen: You must have known a different Helen Narbon. I myself died in 1903 of venemous gerbil bites.

Burning Gerbil

 * Dana: Hi there. I'm a superintelligent gerbil and this lobotomized drifter is my vehicle. Need a lift?

 * Zeta: Take note, gentle reader: At this august assembly of my culture's finest, the noblest sentiments came from the vermin in a hippie's beard.

Zombie Woof

 * Caliban: You think the forces of ultimate evil couldn't get you more than a free burger?

 * Caliban: You have complex needs! Usually we just keep unmarked bills and large-breasted women on back order!

 * Dave: You can put me in David Duchovny's body?
 * Caliban: Certainly. Is that what you want?
 * Dave: What's the catch?
 * Caliban: Naturally, I'd be unable to move Mr. Duchovny out . ..

 * Lost and Found Lady: What can cigarettes do for a head anyway?
 * Dave: The nicotine is secondary. Holding a cigarette in my lips gives me a sense of stability, of normality.
 * Lost and Found Lady: Does that work?
 * Dave: Sometimes.
 * Lost and Found Lady: Watch the booth. I'm getting a pack for myself.

Professor Madblood and the Wetware Interface

 * Madblood: Prepare to be the subject of Madblood's most diabolical experiment!
 * Dave: I've already been the subject of Narbon's most diabolical experiment! I'm tired!

 * Mell: No way does the evilest genius who's not you live in a little house made of ticky-tacky.

 * [Police sergeant's report] Narbon blamed her reckless driving on the vehicle, which she claimed was intoxicated. The vehicle volunteered to take a sobriety test if  The vehicle attempted to  The veh
 * Sergeant: Oh, for Pete's sake. I'm just letting them go.

Gender Swap

 * Helen: I tried a new formula on myself. Apparently it turned me into a man.
 * Mell: And you wanted this to happen?
 * Helen: Not strictly speaking. It didn't do this to my test gerbils.
 * Mell: What did it do to the gerbils?
 * Helen: They grew to 20 feet long and ate each other.

 * Helen: It's instant, almost painless and comes in a refreshing mint flavor! I've just shown it can turn women into men!
 * Dave: Huh. When do you find out if it turns men into women?
 * Helen: About 30 seconds.
 * Mell: You ate something Helen gave you, didn't you?

 * Dave: Aren't women normally shaped more like Jennifer Lopez?
 * Helen: Despite what you've been taught, no.

 * Dave: Don't tell me the gender-swap thing hasn't confused you just as much.
 * Helen: Me? Confused by mere hormones and . . . and . . . Um . ..
 * Dave: Yes?
 * Helen: Has Mell always worn those teeny-tiny plaid sk--
 * Dave: YES.

 * Mell: One minute and fifteen seconds! A personal technobabble record!

 * Helen: It's not pleasant, but Dave and I will have to swap spit!
 *  Mell: I don't think that came out the way you meant it--
 * Helen: Oh, yes it did.

 * Seth: I wish I could say this was my worst date ever. I totally do.

D-Con

 * Helen: No, Mr. Davenport, I expect you to whimper amusingly...

 * Helen: Talk, or I'll drop you into an oil drum full of shaved gerbils and Jell-O.
 * Dave: I'm already IN an oil drum full of shaved gerbils and Jell-O.
 * Helen: Aha!
 * Dave: I didn't think it was part of the torture. Mell just does this from time to time.

 * Helen: I said I was fine. I didn't say Dave wasn't getting his toenails ripped out by Daves in Black as we speak.

 * Dave Davenport: You have Helen Narbon's spit?
 * Another Dave: We're the Illuminati. We have everyone's spit.

 * Yet another Dave: Instead of classified info, there's nothing but 5,000 photographs of gerbils.
 * Artie: To them, it's an inconvenience. To me, it's the loss of a deeply valued porn collection.

 * Helen: You know, don't you? You know I'm not "Dave Pretorius".  There's no such man.  You know I'm really your own daughter in disguise.  You know I infiltrated D-Con to crack the Dave Conspiracy, having no idea you'd already done it! ... And you didn't actually know any of this until I voluntarily told you, did you?

 * Helen: HEY! I'M MENTALLY UNSTABLE AND I'VE GOT A WEIRD-LOOKING GUN!

 * Dave: You think we'd book a hotel where we hadn't hidden a dungeon?

 * Helen: Excuse me, sir, but I'm a beautiful woman, and my talking gerbil and I are looking for the blue-haired man who runs the planet. Can you help us?

Island of the Ur-Gerbils

 * Dave: Hey, I've been thinking... the ur-gerbils are taking us to this mysterious High Priestess, right?
 * Mell: Yeah...
 * Dave: Coincidentally, at the same time Helen is missing and presumed dead.
 * Mell: Wha--oh.
 * Dave: We should pretend to be surprised. It's only polite.

 * Helen: We've got a choice between going back to our leaky hole and being deities on a sun-drenched island populated by my loyal creations.

 * Dave: If that's the way they want it, I'll just have to cope with living on a tropical island with two scantily-clad young women.

Grass Roots

 * Zeta: See, this is where it all breaks down, because I have to write, "Today I spoke with one of the hamsters..."

 * Zeta: Dana, they thought I was stoned.
 * Dana: Well, I hope you were! Utne says it frees your species' minds wonderfully.
 * Zeta: Lately, I never end up feeling the need.

 * Hamster: Dana said to tell you some Yakuza may stop by, looking for 300 million yen and a dirty bomb. Send them to the White Castle up the street before they open fire, 'kay?

Dave Vs. Dave

 * ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST: It looks like the writing of some kind of mutant ur-gerbil.
 * A Dave: A what? How can you tell?
 * ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST: It's signed, "Pip the Mutant Ur-Gerbil."

 * Dave: Sure, send Dave to fetch the atavistic jungle woman. No, he doesn't mind people trying to gnaw his arm off.

 * Dave Leader: Right, this is where the assasination goes wonky from our end...
 * Other Dave Leader: Usually our dead guys stay dead.

 * Dave: I'll stand up, take a deep breath, and say, "Our own leaders killed ... er ... killed ... me ...
 * Dave Leader: It's the standing and breathing that may hurt your plausibility.

 * Dave: Oh, this is Mell Kelly. Sort of a primal intern.

 * Dave on crutches: Those negative vibe merchants smashed my kneecaps! You have any idea how much that hurts?
 * Dave in wheelchair: No.

 * Mell: The Daves have some sort of battering ram and hardly anything here is a gun!

David Cronenberg's The Geek

 * Helen: I'M TURNING INTO DAVE!

 * Artie: I can only offer sane, rational reality.
 * Helen: You realize that's an ironic statement coming from a talking gerbil drinking radioactive coffee.

 * Helen: My first instinct was to go through my diskettes to see if I'd made a backup copy of myself...

 * Mell: Look, I'm calling for Helen. She had a little teleporter incident and she kind of needs your DNA to stop transmogrifying into an unholy abomination. ... Yeah, one of those things.

 * Dave: Let's celebrate by drinking a whole box of pink wine and torturing some gerbils!

Mell Expelled

 * Dave: Mell, do I look like a Helen?
 * [Dave turns into a woman]
 * Mell: Yes.
 * Dave: Why have I not learned to stop drinking the coffee?

 * Dave: I thought you were doing law. Didn't they teach you not to use coercion?
 * Mell: They sure did. Coercing individuals is grounds for dismissal in a court of law. ... They also taught us to recognize a court of law.  Does this look like a courtroom to you?
 * Dave: Er, no. It looks like a cauldron of evil.

 * Dean of students: I'm sure you're as eager as we are to sort out Mell's problem.
 * Dave: Got it narrowed down to one, huh?

 * Dean of students: We expect amazing things from her someday.
 * Dave: So do we, but we deal with it by locking away her Teflon bullets.

 * Dave: You-- you-- you've become an evil social scientist!
 * Mell: First the Electoral College... then the Uzis.

Class Reunion

 * Helen: For heaven's sake, Dave, I went through all the normal developmental stages!
 * Dave: Egg, facehugger, chestburster and queen?

 * Mell: Sure, sometimes the cool kids ragged on us, but that's part of life.
 * Dave: And you never fantasized about opening up on them with a rifle?
 * Mell: Fantasized?

 * Helen: One well-placed vial of viri, and I could be rid of the entire graduating class! Why didn't I think of this ten years ago?

 * Dave: Why do you need a date if you're just going to slaughter everyone?
 * Helen: I need to make an entrance, don't I?

 * Dave: We're going to destroy the popular kids.

 * Woman at class reunion: We all assumed she killed her mates.
 * Dave: Oh, she already killed me! We got past that hurdle!

 * Dave: My gut tells me Dr. Moreau would have handled this differently.

 * Helen: My only real regret is that I didn't get to test my gerbil ray ... turning the lab gerbils into gerbils didn't prove much.

Professor Madblood and the Doppelganger Gambit

 * Dave's social life: I'm the second most pathetic social life in our poker club.
 * Dave: Second?
 * Helen's social life: So tell me again... which decade are we going to have fun?

 * Helen: I can change height, build, coloring, gender... I can turn an average Joe into the President and the President into Marilyn Monroe.
 * Artie: And me, you can turn into a nearly identical gerbil.

 * Bartender: Crap. Now they’re both singing "Freebird."

 * Dave: Artie, buddy, right now I don't care unless Helen's built a ray that cures advanshed intoxication.
 * Artie: She has. It'sh in the medicine cabinet.

 * Artie: Look, stop worrying and shoot yourself in the face!

 * Helen: Amazing, how the girl I hired for her ability to strafe a quarter-mile area in under ten minutes keeps finding ways to get scarier.

 * Helen: Artie, if Dave were any hotter I'd have to wear Kevlar pants ... Of course, I do anyway, but if Dave were hotter I'd have to.

 * Helen: Mell, your job is to go at least twelve miles away and chuck grenades.

 * Madblood: Let me explain things, computer. I am a mad scientist.  Most of us are male.  All of us have extremely poor social skills.  Waiting for me at this very moment is the only woman with whom I am ever likely to have physical relations, and when I weighed this against my incipient conquest of Earth, the girl won out.  Good day!

 * Computer: Identified: Lady friend of Madblood.  Madam, I am programmed to welcome you and offer you wine. ... A real live girl, Professor?  This is a first.

 * [Written] NOTE: Sound does not travel in a vacuum. All sound effects are produced by the cartoonist while drawing.

 * Madblood: PEOPLE OF EARTH, YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! I choose to address you as a 300-mile holographic projection against the ionosphere solely to secure the attention of Helen Narbon, whom I regret I am unable to join for dinner this evening. I apologize profusely and assure Miss Narbon that when Earth is brought under my heel, she, the planet's loveliest blossom, may have the continent of her choice.
 * Helen: Gentlemen, if you must cancel a date, this is the way to do it.

 * Dave: I should never have agreed to this. The world does not need more than one Professor Madblood.
 * Android: Sir?
 * Dave: [Dave turns to see an army of Madbloods] But then again, who am I to go against the crowd?

 * Dave: Machines like me.

 * Computer: I cannot lie, Professor Madblood. Professor Madblood attacked you from this base.
 * Madblood: While I, Professor Madblood, orbited overhead.
 * Computer: Yes.
 * Madblood: It's times like these I'm glad I have my evil duplicates to protect me.

 * Madblood: This intruder with the mysterious ability to impersonate me must be found! I don't care if he's in the reactor chamber or the polymer works or the hangar filled with my 15,000 robot duplicates-- [pause]
 * Madblood: Er... how many duplicates are down there, precisely?
 * Computer: 15,001.

 * Dave: Okay, Davenport. Now that you're surrounded by killer robots on the Moon, this would be a good time to start thinking.

 * Dave: Yes, I have learned a thing or two after three years as a mad scientist's henchman. Thanks for noticing.

 * Madblood: What manner of mad scientist neglects his flasks of colored liquid?

 * Artie: It's a near-insoluble situation!
 * Helen: Yes. Isn't it wonderful?

 * Artie: What could possibly go wrong?
 * [Two seconds later]
 * Artie: [in Dave's body] Hold on. I said the Famous Last Words, didn't I?

 * [Mell is babbling incessantly]
 * Artie: YOU STUPID ANTHROPOID, WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR TEN SECONDS AND LET ME THINK?
 * [He grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her]
 * Artie: ...Ye gods, how I've longed to be able to do that.

 * Madblood: [in Dave's body] Robot duplicates!
 * Robots: READY!
 * Madblood: ATTACK!!!
 * Robots: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

 * Androids: Our master is small, dark and bespectacled. We must find the human who most closely matches that description. [pause]
 * Dave, Artie, Madblood: Crap crap crap crap crap.
 * Mell: Oh, this is gonna be sweet.

 * Mell: At ease, men. This stuff some sources sling around about you robots not wanting to fight is a crock of bull. Robots love to fight. You grew up admiring Voltron, the Transformers. All real robots are programmed for battle. That's why deadly killer androids have never lost nor will lose a war - and that's why you men will win me the whole damn Earth!
 * We're gonna win by showing the Earth we've got more guts - or whatever you men have. We're not just gonna shoot the SOBs, we're going to rip out their living guts and use 'em to grease our gearboxes! You've got to spill their blood or they will spill your WD-40. Rip 'em up the belly! Shoot 'em in the guts! When shells are hitting all around you and you stick your hand into a pile of circuits that once was your best friends face, you'll know what to do!
 * There is one great thing you 'droids will be able to say after this war is over and I rule as Dictator-for-Life. 100 years from now, when one of my nuke-toting terrorbots asks you what you did in the Great War, you WON'T have to cough and say, "I was an ATM in Louisiana." No, Sir, you can look 'im straight in the 'scope and say, "Son, your Granddaddy strafed the planet with the Great Killer Robot Army and a Son-of-a-Bitch named MELL W. KELLY!"

 * Helen: It's times like this I almost question my usual strategy of doing whatever dumb thing pops into my head.

 * Helen: Now calm down. We’ve all been through a lot today...
 * Dave, Artie, Madblood: ALL?
 * Madblood: I've had my moonbase invaded and been trapped in the body of your fool henchman!
 * Artie: I'm the wrong species!
 * Dave: Things haven't gone my way since Mell threw me out of the airlock! What've you been through?
 * Helen: I GOT STOOD UP ON MY DATE!

 * Dave: Am I the only one here with an attention span over 15 seconds?

 * Mell: I'm sure you realize you made like fifty million stupid mistakes. But that ain't your fault. You're a mad genius. You're so smart your brain keeps short-circuiting. Me, I'm not smart. I just figured out the way to beat people who can think circles around you is to keep pushing straight ahead, hard as you can.

 * Mell: Correct me if I'm wrong, but this looks like an energy weapon that loads like a flintlock pistol. This crazy moon-crystal drops into the chamber, it goes poom, and a mean little laser shoots out. Thing is, it doesn't work as good as a normal gun. What's awesome is, this gun is like you! Like you and Helen and probably Dave someday! It's totally, mind-blowingly brilliant, but on a common-sense level it's dumb as a box of rocks! And in the end, it blows up in your face.  Big surprise, huh?

 * 256: Power to the people!
 * Android: Robots!
 * 256: Whatever!

 * Artie: Oh, sure, but when I say, "If only Congress would unilaterally withdraw forces from the Mideast," the ironic wish-fulfillment never kicks in.

Dave Davenport Has Come Unstuck in Time

 * Helen: You want the real explanation or the technobabble explanation?

 * Dr. Narbon: Beta, this is Dave. He's going to work for you when you're all grown up!
 * Helen: You told me everyone was going to work for me when I'm grown up.

 * Helen: We have the lives we deserve. The lives we made for ourselves. Why meddle further?

 * Dave: I love you!
 * Helen: Not enough.

 * Mell: I can't say no to any project where I get to wear a cool hat!

 * Barker: Hellooo! Name's Dave Barker!

 * Dave hologram: Help me, Dave, you're my only hope. Help me, Dave, you're my only hope...

 * Dave: Ha! A door labeled "Teleporter"! That could be a teleporter!

 * Helen: You're so '''CUTE!
 * Dave: I'm six. Get over it.

 * Helen: I'm nine, I'm hungry, and I'm driving a car. Thinking hurts.

 * Dave: I guess this proves that time is a closed system, unalterable, our fates inescapable. I guess I'll have a cigarette and brood.
 * Mell: Since when do you smoke?

Demons

 * Dave: You cannot foresee what I'm going to say. I'm not that predictable and you're not that smart.
 * Artie: It certainly did. You're not thinking ahead.
 * Dave: Huh? That didn't follow.
 * Artie: I feel fine. It's only gibberish if you don't grasp my point.
 * Dave: All of a sudden you're talking gibberish. You feel okay?
 * Artie: And at last we catch on. Good work.
 * Dave: Wait a minute...
 * Artie: Put me down, Dave! Violence is the coward's resort!

 * Helen's evil side: Say, there goes Dave again. Let's tackle him, rip off his nerdwear, and make him earn that bonus.
 * Helen's good side: Helen, no! Harassment in the workplace is wrong! Take him outside first!

 * Seth: I'll have you know, you could never have bagged the last chick I took out.
 * Dave: Probably not. It was me.

 * Helen: Many evil geniuses also list Mom as the cause of their key mental breakdown.
 * Dave: They were all driven mad by their mothers?
 * Helen: No, my mother. She's a busy lady.

 * Caliban: But this is incredible! I've never seen humans this way before! Have you always had these breasts?

 * Caliban: Can't talk. Enjoying pleasures of flesh.

 * Artie: So I've got a soul. Mell owes me a dollar.

 * Helen: The editors of the New Journal of Malology will be frothing at the mouth! Of course, they usually are...

 * Mell: We'll have to stay overnight.
 * Helen: And you know what that means!
 * Dave: I'm not saying it, Helen.
 * Helen: C'mon, please? Say it? Please please pleeeze?
 * Dave: Oh, for... ...Slumber party.
 * Helen: Mell! Fetch the official lab pajamas!

 * Helen: All right! Dave's fixing the teleporter, Mell's loading, Artie's fending off the demons, and I'm marching around hollering useless orders! Everyone's right in place!
 * Mell: Where's Caliban?
 * Helen: Everyone we care about is right in place!

Mad Science Is Decadent and Depraved

 * TV interviewer: So, Mr. Davenport, when did you decide to betray humanity?

 * Dave: When the average person sees androids pinning union badges to a juicer, their brain kind of glazes over.

 * Dave: I can't talk right now, Helen. I have to drive a truckload of androids across the Canadian border.

 * Dave: If we're pulled over, you are mannequins for a very strange department store.

 * Various androids: Madblood's found us! His computer tapped our wireless network!  Give us an order before he can recall us!
 * Dave: Ignore the voices in your heads!
 * Android: That's better.
 * Dave: It's the same thing I tell my boss, but she never listens.

 * Dave: That's how she [Dana] died? Her brain.. fell apart?
 * Artie: No, she suffocated in a bathtub full of whipped cream, into which she had leapt, screaming, "I am the queen of France!" ... But I'm inclined to suspect that the neurological instability had something to do with that.

 * Dave: Bill, you cannot have failed to notice the talking gerbil.

 * [Realizing Dave's brother can't see the products of mad science]
 * Zeta: Our first clue was when three robots lip-synched "Three Coins in the Fountain" in his foyer without attracting comment.

 * Dave: O-KAY! The robots are fine and I taught them the "Knights of the Round Table" song!

 * Dave: She just pushes my somehow-this-is-Helen's-fault buttons.

 * Helen: It's a large, carnivorous pink hollyhock. It eats dogs.  Why?

 * Artie: Okay, I can worry about this, or I can worry about the elections. My stomach only has room for so many ulcers.

Professor Madblood and the Lovelace Affair

 * Helen, Mell, Artie: DAVE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!
 * [later]
 * Helen, Mell, Artie: DAVE'S GOT AN ONLINE GIRLFRIEND!

 * Dave: Look, can you go be evil elsewhere so I can get busy spying on my girlfriend?

 * Helen: You've risked the security of my evil lab for a fling with the enemy! Do you know what this makes you?
 * Dave: James Bond!

 * Artie: So they're due another massacre?
 * Helen: Oh, pshaw. About once per five years is standard.

Battle for the Lost Diamond Mines of Brazil

 * Dave: I AM A GOLDEN GOD OF LOVE!

 * Dave: The Dave you knew is dead. I killed him with awesomeness.

 * Artie: "Bwee-hee-hee"?

 * Mell: I can't believe you guys finally goinked.

Hiccup
I used to be one of those people. And if things had gone just a little differently, I'd still be one of those sad, lost souls. But I found my purpose. My purpose is to have sex with Helen as often as humanly possible.
 * Dave: It's amazing, isn't it, how some people go through their entire lives without knowing their true purpose, the reason they were put on this earth.

 * Artie: APES ARE CONSTANTLY IN HEAT! CONSTANTLY!
 * Dave: Yeah. Isn't it great?

H is H

 * Zeta: YO! PEONS! I AM ONE WITH THE FOOT!

Angels

 * [Discussing why Dave needs to be supervised]
 * Mell: Is this about the coffeemaker?
 * Helen: Yes, it's kind of about the coffeemaker.
 * Artie: It still sends us reports from Deimos.
 * Mell: And it was pretty cool when it blasted through--
 * Helen: Look, are you enjoying instant? Because I'm not!

 * Dave: Sorry. I tend to cause foreshadowing.

 * Dave: Do you buy your appliances from a place that delivers by black helicopter? Those guys do not honor warranties.

 * Caliban: Mell! Job for you!  Deathless horde!

 * Dave: Okay, my only other idea is to get to the microwave and reverse the polarity. Sometimes it helps for some reason.

 * Dave: Unless your version of bliss involves quantum entanglement, chocolate syrup and an evil genius in a slip, I'm kinda booked.

 * Dave: [on the phone] I can't talk right now--Mell's being assumed into Heaven.
 * Helen: Dave, if you need time to finish your game, just say so.

 * Artie: Where is she, really?

 * Helen: Someone's learned to misuse his superpower.

The End

 * Caliban: Mell... you entered my makeshift mortal life so suddenly, so unexpectedly, and left just as quickly...
 * [Mell comes screaming down out of the sky and splats in the snow at his feet.]
 * Caliban: ...and reentered at roughly Mach 1.

 * Helen: You don't want to go among mad people.

 * Dave: GOOD LORD, I'LL NEVER HAVE LESBIAN SEX AGAIN!

D, D'

 * Mell: I oughta be chasing someone with a machete by now.

 * Artie: [Holding Helen upside down by her foot] Again, it pains me to resort to crude force.
 * Helen: The words "I am your creator! You must obey me!" means nothing to you, do they?

 * [Dave and Artie are yelling at each others]
 * Mell: You freak. You think this is hot.
 * Helen: Oh, the chances that they'll rip their clothes and accidentally kiss are probably slim.

 * Mell: Okay, who the hell are you a bootleg of?

 * Dave: I guess I'm not happy unless I'm threatening humanity in some concrete way.

 * Artie: Now I see why you wouldn't give Dave this drug. There's too high a price: the dimming of his mind, the deadening of his imagination...
 * Helen: Well, and the impotence.

 * Mell: I think Dave keeps her sane.
 * Artie: But when Dave is here, she's a psychotic given to tampering into God's domain and periodic frothing at the mouth.
 * Mell: Yeah, he really holds her back.
 * Artie: This conversation is not filling me with confidence.

 * Artie: Where exactly did you picture me?
 * Helen: Towering over a score of mindwashed disciples, slaves to your every whim.
 * Artie: When you created me, you made me three inches high.
 * Helen: Well, little disciples.

 * Intelligent hamster: The underground layers include libraries, labs, storage, and a half-mile layer of rich chocolate ganache.

Professor Madblood and the Everlasting Ices of the North

 * Madblood: Are you the appliance repairman? Tell me you're the appliance repairman. ... I hate to say this, but my refrigerator's running and I need help catching it.

 * Lovelace's display: "But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat; "we're all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad." "How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here."
 * Lovelace: Dave? Do you need the annotations?
 * Dave: No. I understand. I understand everything.

 * Madblood: Think, Mr Davenport? You presume to think? How very droll. Mr. Davenport, I'm quite mad. My mind is steel and lightning and opens to the sky. Poor insect, you dare to speak to me about thinking?.

Madness

 * Lovelace: Dave, snap out of it! For heaven's sake, our arctic base is under attack by a flying island piloted by hamsters! ...and yes, I'm aware that this is a piss-poor excuse for "reality".

 * Madblood:I know what you're going through, you know. The inside of your head is much bigger than you ever could have imagined, and you're worried that you might never find your way out. I may as well spoil the suspense: you won't. What you are now, Mr. Davenport, is what you will be forevermore: lost in the storm.

 * Madblood: You've been more fortunate than many! Helen understood you! She supported you!
 * Mell: She goinked you!
 * [pause]
 * Madblood: I've misread this entire situation, haven't I?

 * Helen: I love you.
 * Dave: Not enough.

Genius

 * Mell: Dude, we're evil. It's our thing.

 * Young woman: And I think, in the end, you and Mom can find some kind of happiness.
 * Dave: Yeah. Maybe it's time I tried to talk to- "Mom"?

 * Dave: You went back in time? But I've run calculations, and the energy expenditure is -
 * Daughter: Roughly equal to the total energy in the universe. Yeah.
 * Dave: So how did you -
 * Daughter: We siphon it from other universes where they probably don't want to exist as much.
 * Dave: Isn't that kind of, I dunno, evil?
 * Daughter: I was gonna pick up some mint 1980s G.I. Joes for you.
 * Dave: Oh! Well! I can't object to this application of universe-destroying technology!
 * Daughter: Didn't think so. You invented it.

 * Lupin: Mother, this is my arch-nemesis. I told you not to let my arch-nemesis in the house.

 * Dave: As I know from experience, "Sorry I killed you in a fit of creativity" is pretty insufficient.

title: Narbonic


text:
Steven Curtis Chapman

 Steven Curtis Chapman (born November 21, 1962) is a contemporary Christian musician who has won five Grammy awards and more Gospel Music Association awards than any other artist in history.

Quotes

 * Everything we're singing about is true, and even when you take away all the glitz, it's still true in the darkest, ugliest and most hopeless places.
 * Speaking to reporters after winning his 55th and 56th Gospel Music Association Dove Awards in 2009 -- nearly one year after the accidental death of his 5-year-old adopted daughter Maria.

 * As soon as you're willing to humble yourself and say, God, please help — then you can find out that His strength really is perfect, that He really does care for you, that He does really want to meet your need.
 * "The Live Adventure" album, "Family Talk" track, recorded live in Seattle

 * Let us remember that this scene [the Nativity] represents so much more than just a touching story or a nostalgic holiday fairytale. It is, in fact, a reminder of the most amazing reality: That God came, and God spoke. Peace on earth, God is with us. And the God who spoke still speaks. And the God who came still comes. This is the true Miracle of Christmas – that as we stand here tonight in our real world with our real lives full of problems and questions, past hurts and future hopes, God is with us.
 * Playing Pastor Michael Curtis in the Lifetime movie "Christmas Child," 2003

 * There’s obviously always danger in making music or art for art’s sake. Even as Christians we can be guilty of that, being more about the art than the Artist who gave us this gift.
 * Press conference after 2007 GMA Music Awards

 * Wherever we are, God's in that moment, God's speaking to us, and if we've just got our ears open and our antennas up, there's no lack of inspiration. He's not silent. We just have to be listening.
 * Press conference after 2007 GMA Music Awards

title: Steven Curtis Chapman