text:
Camelot (film)

Camelot is a 1967 film about the marriage of England's King Arthur to Guinevere, played out amid the pageantry of Camelot.
 * Directed by Joshua Logan. Written by Alan Jay Lerner, based on his 1960 play.

The Most Beautiful Love Story Ever!taglines

King Arthur

 * Merlyn, why have you never taught me love and marriage?
 * Proposition: It's far better to be alive than to be dead.
 * [singing] And -what of teaching me by turning me to animal and bird, From beaver to the smallest bobolink! I should have had a -whirl At changing to a girl, To learn the way the creatures think!
 * Merlyn told me once: Never be too disturbed if you don't understand what a woman is thinking. They don't do it often.
 * I dreamed ... I dreamed.
 * All we've been through, for nothing but an idea! Something that you cannot taste, smell, or feel; without substance, life, reality, memory.
 * I love them and they answer me with pain and torment. Be it sin or not sin, they betray me in their hearts and that's far sin enough. I can feel it in their eyes, I can feel it when they speak, and they must pay for it and be punished. I shall not be wounded and not return it in kind! I'm through with feeble hoping! I demand a man's vengeance! [Calming down] Proposition: I'm a king, not a man. And a civilized king. Could it possibly be civilized to destroy what I love? Could it possibly be civilized to love myself above all? What of their pain and their torment? Did they ask for this calamity? Can passion be selected?
 * The adage, "Blood is thicker than water," was invented by undeserving relatives.
 * Merlyn! Merlyn, make me a hawk. Let me fly away from here!
 * [singing] Ask ev'ry person if he's heard the story; And tell it strong and clear if he has not: That once there was a fleeting wisp of glory Called Camelot. Camelot! Camelot!
 * [to Mordred] Far more seasoned rascals than you have polished their souls, I advise you, get out the wax. Better to be rubbed clean than rubbed out.
 * [angrily] Mordred, I must remind you that I am a civilized man. With occasional lapses.

Guinevere

 * Just when I reach the golden age of eligibility and wooability. Is my fate determined by love and courtship? Oh, no. [Bitterly] Clause one: fix the border; Clause two: establish trade; Clause three: deliver me; Clause four: stop the war; five, six: pick up sticks. How cruel! How unjust! Am I never to know the joys of maidenhood? The conventional, ordinary, garden variety joys of maidenhood?
 * [about Mordred] The one thing I can say for him is that he's bound to marry well. Everybody is above him.
 * Must we talk about Mordred? This is the first time in a month that he's not coming to dinner and not having him makes it seem like a party!

Lancelot

 * C'est moi!
 * I am irritating. I always will be. All fanatics are bores, Pellinore, and I'm a fanatic. Even when I was a child I irritated the other children. I wanted to play their games, but I knew I could not. Even then I was filled with a sense of divine purpose. I'm not saying I enjoy it. All my life I've locked the world out. And, you know, when you lock the world out, you're locked in.

Others

 * Pellinore: Forgive the interruption. Anyone here seen a beast with the head of a serpent, the body of a boar and the tail of a lion, baying like forty hounds?
 * Mordred: [to Arthur about Guenevere] What a magnificent dilemma! Let her die, your life is over; let her live, your life's a fraud. Which will it be, Arthur? Do you kill the Queen or kill the law?
 * Company: [singing] Guinevere, Guinevere. In that dim, mournful year Saw the men she held so dear Go to war for Guinevere.
 * Company: [singing] Guinevere, Guinevere Oh, they found Guinevere In the dying candle's gleam Came the sundown of a dream.

Dialogue

 * Arthur: But even the thought, "I'm not thinking a thought" is thinking, isn't it?
 * Merlyn: Yes, and thinking is the sort of thing you should get into the habit of doing as often as possible.

 * Arthur: A thousand pardons, Milady. Wait! Don't run. [She stops and looks at him coweringly] Please! I won't harm you.
 * Guenevere: You lie! You'll leap at me and throw me to the ground.
 * Arthur: I won't do any such thing. [He takes a step toward her. She takes a step backwards. He stops]
 * Guenevere: Then you'll twist my arm and tie me to a tree.
 * Arthur: But I won't.
 * Guinevere: Then you'll sling me over your shoulder and carry me off.
 * Arthur: No, no, no! I swear it! By the Sword Excalibur! I swear I won't touch you.
 * Guinevere: [Hurt] Why not? [Sudden rage] How dare you insult me in this fashion. Do my looks repel you?
 * Arthur: No. You're beautiful.
 * Guinevere: Well, then? We're alone. I'm completely defenseless. What kind of a cad are you? Apologize at once.

 * Lancelot: The next time you traffic with me, remember... you challenge the right hand of King Arthur!
 * Arthur: I am King Arthur!
 * Lancelot: What? You... are the king?
 * Arthur: Almost the late king...

 * Arthur: But for what purpose? Might isn't always right, Jenny.
 * Guinevere: Nonsense, dear, of course it is. To be right and lose couldn't possibly be right.

 * Lancelot: Dap, you are older than I. You know this Earth better than I. I only fell upon it a few hours ago.
 * Dap: What are you talking about?
 * Lancelot: Guenevere!

 * Arthur: We must arrange for your knighthood.
 * Lancelot: No, sire! Invest me because of deeds, not words! Give me an order!
 * Arthur: Now?
 * Lancelot: This moment! Is there some wrong I can right, some peril I can face, some quest I can undertake?
 * Arthur: Well... actually... there's not much going on today. The Queen and some of her court have gone a-maying.
 * Lancelot: Gone... a-maying?
 * Arthur: Well, it's a sort of... um... picnic? They pick flowers and chase young...
 * Lancelot: Picnic?
 * Arthur: It's a custom we have here. This is England, you know. And this is the season for gathering flowers.
 * Lancelot: Knights? Gathering FLOWERS?
 * Arthur: Well, SOMEONE has to do it!

 * Arthur: Wrong or right, they have the might, so wrong or right, they're always right, and that's wrong... right?
 * Guinevere: Absolutely.

 * Lancelot: If the king grants you clemency, you shall be banished. If not, you hang.
 * Arthur: Clemency is granted.

 * Lancelot: Jenny, I - I love you. God forgive me, but I do.
 * Guinevere: Then God forgive us both, Lance.

 [Arthur is trying to teach Pellinore about his new court system]
 * Arthur: Let us say you are accused of burning down a farm.
 * Pellinore: Whose?
 * Arthur: Er...let us say, a farmer named...William?
 * Pellinore: Well, can't see it happening, but get along.
 * Arthur: Now, Pelly, you claim you haven't. What does he do then?
 * Pellinore: Well, he keeps his mouth shut if he knows what's good for him!
 * Arthur: No, Pellinore. He takes you to court.
 * Pellinore: Ah! And we fight there!
 * Arthur: No, Pellinore. Look, in the court, there is a prosecutor for Farmer William and a defendant for you.
 * Pellinore: Oh, I see! I see!  And they fight!
 * Arthur: No. In the court there is also a jury, who decides whether you are guilty or not guilty.
 * Pellinore: Well, what's the jury got to do with it? None of their damn business in the first place!  Any jury finds me guilty, I'll have a whack at every last one of 'em!
 * Arthur: Then you'd be charged with murder, Pelly!
 * Pellinore: Well, the ruddy thing's endless! Another jury finds me guilty, and I'll have to have a whack at them!  And so on and so on, and whacking and whacking--
 * Arthur: Oh, Pellinore, forget it! You will never burn down a barn, you will never know a farmer named William and you will never, ever, be found in a court!
 * Pellinore: Not without my ruddy sword I won't!

 * Pellinore: Who is that, Arthur?
 * Arthur: One of what we all are, Pelly. Less than a drop in the great blue motion of the sunlit sea. But it seems some of the drops sparkle, Pelly. Some of them do sparkle! Run, boy!

Taglines

 * The Most Beautiful Love Story Ever!
 * A whole new world of magnificent musical entertainment.

Cast

 * Richard Harris - Arthur
 * Vanessa Redgrave - Guinevere
 * Franco Nero - Lancelot
 * David Hemmings - Mordred
 * Lionel Jeffries - King Pellinore
 * Laurence Naismith - Merlyn
 * Pierre Olaf - Dap

title: Camelot (film)


text:
Quebec City

Quebec City officially Québec (French: Ville de Québec, or simply Québec) is the capital of the Canadian province of Quebec. As of 2011 the city has a population of 516,622, and the metropolitan area has a population of 765,706, making it the second most populous city in Quebec after Montreal.

The narrowing of the Saint Lawrence River proximate to the city's promontory, Cap-Diamant (Cape Diamond), and Lévis, on the opposite bank, provided the name given to the city, Kébec, an Algonquin word meaning "where the river narrows". Founded in 1608 by Samuel de Champlain, Quebec City is one of the oldest cities in North America.

Quotes

 * Of course, Quebec-bashing is nothing new for the anglophone press, but it is so widespread these days that one wonders if it hasn't become a natural and acceptable expression of Canadian patriotism.
 * , "Bashing Quebec fashionable in anglo media", The Gazette, April 21, 2000, retrieved September 20, 2006;

 * Our English media really hurt us. It's very seldom that we hear about the good things rather than bashing us about the same 35-year history of 'when are we going to separate?' and 'when is the sky going to fall?' [...] We have a lot to offer if we only believed in ourselves and promoted ourselves better. [...] If our English media would take a more positive outlook on what happens in Quebec and Montreal, we'd do a lot better. The outside world does not view us the way we do ourselves.
 * Howard Silverman, cited in:, "Bashing Quebec fashionable in anglo media", The Gazette, April 21, 2000, retrieved September 20, 2006; Howard Silverman, president of Corporate Affairs International Inc., speaking at a lunch organized by the Jewish Business Network

 * They (the English Canadian media) cover Quebec as exploiters, stirring up the prejudice of the population. It is not to shed light upon the question that Mordecai Richler makes his comments in Saturday Night, it is to fan the flames of hatred and prejudice. After the referendum, spirits hardened up in Canada, even in the newspaper in which I write. More space was reserved to complaints of Anglo-Quebecers concerning their so-called persecution. Anglo-Canadians believe more and more that they have the right to interfere in Quebec life. It is very embarassing.
 * in: "C'est la culture... stupid!" by Carole Beaulieu, L'actualité, March 15, 1997, retrieved September 20, 2006

 * It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce.
 * Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Quebec City


text:
User talk:67.85.138.114

You vandalized http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Philippine-American_War, if this continues, I will report you to be booted.Travb 10:42, 12 February 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:67.85.138.114


text: User:Ferhengvan

title: User:Ferhengvan


text:
Talk:Dave Barry

I found this attributed to Dave Barry:

"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."

Does anyone know a source for this quote? Aragorn2 13:45, 12 February 2006 (UTC)

 * Moved "Without question, the greatest invention..." from Attributed to Sourced. Provided source.

 * I noticed alot of quotes in the 'Attributed' section really are Dave quotes, but are not 100% accurate. I'll fix and provide sources when I find them.

 * Yes, "People who ..." is number 12 in Chapter 8 '25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years' of 'Dave Barry Turns 50'. Note that there is a list circulating called '16 Things That ...', which claims to be from Dave but includes a few that are not.

Unsourced
Wikiquote no longer allows unsourced quotations, and they are in process of being removed from our pages (see Wikiquote:Limits on quotations); but if you can provide a reliable, precise and verifiable source for any quote on this list please move it to Dave Barry. --Antiquary 18:12, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

 * We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

 * As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer of course to the federal government.

 * As sensitive and broad-minded humans, we must never allow ourselves to be in any way judgmental of the religious practices of other people, even when these people clearly are raving space loons.

 * See, when the GOVERNMENT spends money, it creates jobs; whereas when the money is left in the hands of TAXPAYERS, God only knows what they do with it. Bake it into pies, probably. Anything to avoid creating jobs.

 * If, in reading this, you are uncertain as to whether a specific statement is meant seriously or not, simply apply this rule of thumb: If the statement makes you consider filing a lawsuit, I was kidding. Ha ha!

 * I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

 * There's no way to know for sure without finding out what a "kg" is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.

 * Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

 * What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

 * Everybody wins in chess!

 * American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room without having little pictures on the doors.

 * Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."

 * Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements...

 * Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!

 * I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

 * The Rules of Life:
 * 1. A lot of things can happen
 * 2. All of these can kill you
 * 3. So DON'T PANIC!!!

 * We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

 * Skiiers regard snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders regard skiiers as Elmer Fudd.

 * What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.

Update image?
This Pulitzer Prize winner was born in 1947. Just wondering if there is a more recent image of him on Commons?

Thanks in advance, Ottawahitech (talk) 16:11, 18 February 2023 (UTC)

title: Talk:Dave Barry


text:
User:Elmo12456~enwikiquote

My User page

title: User:Elmo12456~enwikiquote


text:
Rob Van Dam

Robert Alejandro Szatkowski, better known by his ring name Rob Van Dam, is an American professional wrestler, who until recently wrestled on the ECW brand of World Wrestling Entertainment.

Quotes

 * This is the ECW World Championship, and I will wear it proudly. [Points to the WWE Championship on his left shoulder] And look at this one—it spins!
 * ECW, June 13, 2006: after being proclaimed the new ECW World Champion and opting to keep the WWE Championship as well.

 * I for one still can't believe that Chris was capable of doing this, OJ didn't do it but Chris Benoit did? Look at what was stacked against OJ and they found nothing to convict him. But Chris Benoit was a guy that everybody spoke so highly of. Everbody's jumping all over the lifestyle (as an explanation). Of course, it's incredibly demanding but it doesn't make us kill our families. You're talking about a man who bound his wife's limbs and strangled her, allegedly choked his son out and then hung himself. We don't have things like this going on. It's not something that's associated with people taking steroids.
 * Rob Van Dam was a very close friend of Chris Benoit and gives us some insight on his thoughts on steroid use.

 * I think the way that I've gone through life, kind of following my own path, has just been the only way I could've lived my life. It's not about trying to be different, it's about not bothering to try to be like everybody else.
 * Biography: WWE Legends

title: Rob Van Dam


text:
Abdus Salam

Prof. Dr. Abdus Salam (29 January 1926 – 21 November 1996) was a Pakistani theoretical physicist who received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1979 for his work in electroweak theory which is the mathematical and conceptual synthesis of the electromagnetic and weak interactions, the latest stage reached until now on the path towards a unification theory describing the fundamental forces of nature.

Quotes

 * By generalization of methods developed by Kamefuchi, O'Raifeartaigh, and Salam, conditions for renormalizability of general gauge theories of massive vector mesons are derived. ... It is shown that all theories based on simple Lie groups (with the one exception of the neutral vector meson theory in interaction with a conserved current) are unrenormalizable.
 * In the Holy Book of Islam, Allah says: "Thou seest not, in the creation of the All-merciful any imperfection, Return thy gaze, seest thou any fissure. Then Return thy gaze, again and again. Thy gaze, Comes back to thee dazzled, aweary."  This in effect is, the faith of all physicists; the deeper we seek, the more is our wonder excited, the more is the dazzlement for our gaze.
 * Speech at the Nobel Banquet (10 December 1979).

 * The Holy Quran enjoins us to reflect on the verities of Allah’s created laws of nature; however, that our generation has been privileged to glimpse a part of His design is a bounty and a grace for which I render thanks with a humble heart.
 * Address to UNESCO (1979), as published in Ideals and Realities: Selected Essays of Abdus Salam (1989), p. 251.

title: Abdus Salam


text:
Flavor Flav

William Jonathan Drayton, Jr. (born March 16, 1959), known by his stage name Flavor Flav, is an American rapper, television star, hype man, and member of the politically conscious hip hop group Public Enemy. Flavor Flav's visual trademark is an oversized clock hanging from his neck. After falling out of the public eye in former years, he has recently reappeared as a star of American reality television. He has starred in multiple VH1 programs, including Flavor of Love, and the 2007 Comedy Central Roast. Contrary to his image as a buffoon, he is a classically trained pianist.

Quotes

 * Yeah boyeee!
 * Catch phrase, often delivered with comic timing; recounted in Rickey Vincent, Funk: The Music, the People, and the Rhythm of the One (1996), p. 309. Alternately reported by other sources with spelling variations.

 * Well let me tell you something, I can't be nobody but myself. Ya know what I'm saying? The thing that makes the world love Flav is Flav being himself. So honestly man, to tell you the truth: it was not hard to be myself. It was real easy.

 * Well let me tell you like this, the rap scene right now has taken its own course and its own direction because you have so many rap records of all different calibers coming out. And me, I favor everybody, I like everybody and the reason why is because I want everyone to Favor Flav. If I favor one certain rapper or one certain singer then only one certain singer/rappers are going to favor Flav. So me, I'm just a friendly ghost and not only that I'm a musician. I like all kinds of music. And everybody making records right now is definitely respected by Flav and for all you new comers just starting to make records: welcome aboard.

About

 * The simple reason why we work together is just the contrast in our voices. People try to come up with intellectual reasons for 'the noise' and it ain't nothing intellectual. We was just making BAU tapes and needed voices to cut through that shit. Flavor got a powerful trebly voice, with cut. I got some bass with treble and pitch, which also cuts. So you put me and Flavor together and it's basically like Bobby Bird and James Brown — Everybody over here? Get on Up! The Bird/Brown combination set off everything.
 * Chuck D., quoted by Robert Marriott, "The Resurrection of the Jester King", The Source, August, 1994. p. 76.

 * What was crucial to the partnership, it should be noted, is that Flavor Flav was a clown — in the tradition of the best black comics — yet he was a clown with consciousness, empowered with knowledge of self, an entirely different persona from the "Stepin Fetchit" and "Sambo" stereotypes of subservient and uncouth black Americans. Flavor Flav was and is a fool, but a fool on a mission. On the cover of Nation of Millions, he wears a gigantic clock as a medallion — a preposterous getup — yet it is designed to illustrate, through a comic medium, that time is indeed running out.
 * Rickey Vincent, Funk: The Music, the People, and the Rhythm of the One (1996), p. 309.

title: Flavor Flav


text:
Joe Dirt

Joe Dirt is a 2001 cult film starring David Spade, Dennis Miller, Christopher Walken, Brittany Daniel, Jaime Pressly, Erik Per Sullivan and Kid Rock. The film revolves around white trash heavy-metal fan Joe Dirt (Spade) who is discovered by disc jockey Zander Kelly (Miller) at the radio-station where he works as a janitor, and is encouraged to recount his life-story. This involves being abandoned by his parents at the Grand Canyon when he was 8, and having searched for them ever since.

 * Written by David Spade and Fred Wolf. Directed by Dennie Gordon.

Keep on Moppin' in the Free world.

Joe Dirt

 * Things are gonna happen for me. I'm Joe Dirt!
 * I'm a rocker, dude, through and through. Here's my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen, not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep...
 * Life's a garden. Dig it!
 * I'm new in town, kinda lonely, lookin' for my parents
 * You, you like to see homos naked?
 * It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.
 * Say it, don't spray it brother. Dang!
 * Ya gotta keep on, keepin' on.
 * Right on! You're Joe Meteorite and I'm Joe Dirt.
 * [puts up fists] You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mic right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? They don't like no feedback, what's up?
 * [Trying to scrape Charlie the dog's testicles off the frozen porch] Now, this ain't no flapjack. I'll go real easy. I won't look.
 * My name is Joe Dirté. I added an e to the end, 'cause it sounds cool.
 * [Joe falls off a swing] And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandy was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.
 * There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I'm number one. Rule number two, the croc's number two.
 * [To himself] YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FREAK. You're goin' to Hell, man, but it was worth it.
 * That shit'll buff out.
 * Luckily, my neck broke my fall.
 * You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?
 * Why don't you go practice fallin' down, I'll be there in a minute.
 * I thought I had broken my ass bone!
 * [while on air balloon] I can see down your shirt!
 * I got the poo on me!!
 * I'm putting the lotion on the skin!
 * My face and your ass... I mean your ass and my face.
 * You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
 * I don't care about this, and I don't care about these! And I'll never gonna see you again in the next twenty-five years!

Zander Kelly

 * Now, you're telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?
 * What's the story here? I'm a white trash idiot - the end.
 * God Almighty, manna from inbred heaven. Hey freak boy: 1976 called, it wants its hairstyle back.
 * Why have you got a wig? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?
 * Don't you get it? Stinky stuff is your milieu. Okay? This is your deal. You are an underachievement nexus of the universe.

Buffalo Bob

 * It does what it's told.
 * It puts the lotion on its skin! You have no idea what kind of hell I can bring you!
 * oh for christ sakes, HERE! [sends AutoTrader down well]
 * IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

Other

 * Railroad Boy #1: Oh - it's so flat!
 * Clem: [talking to fire extinguisher] You're talking to me all wrong... It's the wrong tone. You do it again and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!

Dialogue

 * Joe Dirt: If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
 * Jill: Sure would. Do you want to go back to my place?
 * Joe Dirt: Sure do.

 * Robby: Did I get ya, Dirt?
 * Joe Dirt: Nah, I'm cool.
 * Robby: No you're not.

 * Kickin’ Wing: You want me to put my ear to the ground and listen for hoof beats, check for footprints, look for broken twigs? This is the modern era.  That stuff doesn't work anymore.

 * Kickin’ Wing: The label looks very stern.

 * Joe Dirt: So you're gonna tell me that you don't have no black cats, roman candles, or screaming mimis?
 * Kickin’ Wing: No.
 * Joe Dirt: Oh come on, man. You don't got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?
 * Kickin’ Wing: No, I don't.
 * Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hüsker düs, hüsker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
 * Kickin’ Wing: No... because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.
 * Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem. It's not what you like, it's the consumer.

 * Joe Dirt: [Narrating] I checked my list of Rambler Wagons, and there it was: Nunamaker. Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I was finally home.
 * Joe Dirt: [Joe comes up to his childhood house only to find it's been condemned] Sir? Hey mister! You know the people who live here, Nunamaker?
 * Farmer Fran: [In a thick Cajun accent] They move.
 * Joe Dirt: W-what's that?
 * Farmer Fran: Move! They move! 'bout... 15 year ago. Had a lil' boy. Had same kinda haircut you got now. [laughs] God da', you outta date, boy.
 * Joe Dirt: Yeah, man, that little boy, that's me. My parents were-this was my home. I though this was it this time.
 * Farmer Fran: Nah, home is where you make it.
 * Joe Dirt: Ya like to see homos naked?
 * Farmer Fran: [repeats phrase, this time with a firmer tone of voice] Home is where you make it.
 * Joe Dirt: You like to see homos naked. That's cool, man. Whatever.
 * Farmer Fran: No no no no. Home is where you make it. Home, where you make it.
 * Joe Dirt: Oh.
 * Farmer Fran: Ev'body know dat. Goddamn, boy.
 * [he walks away]
 * Joe Dirt: Guy likes to see homos naked, that doesn't help me.

 * Joe Dirt: Well today I'm gonna be picking up my Hemi Roadrunner. That's right, I said Hemi.
 * Jill: Wow. A Hemi. Balls to the Wall.
 * Joe Dirt: Yep, left it at a friend’s house.
 * [under his breath]
 * Joe Dirt: Actually it got towed away two years ago.
 * [loud again]
 * Joe Dirt: But I'm picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say?
 * Jill: That's a big ten-four.

 * [the dog starts humping Little Joe's leg]
 * Little Joe Dirt: Can I push him off of me?
 * Miss Clipper: He'll stop humping as soon as he's done.

 * Bullying Man #2: [throws Joe an apple core after he farts on it] I got a fart. You want that?
 * Joe Dirt: Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton's ass I'd take a bite.
 * Bullying Man #2: You probably liked J.R., you queer. I saw your bumper sticker: "cowboys' butts drive me nuts."
 * Joe Dirt: [sticks his fists up] This queer? Is this queer?

 * Joe Dirt: Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where's the good stuff man?
 * Kickin’ Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
 * Joe Dirt: Are you nuts, dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Go boom!
 * Kickin’ Wing: Why is that good?
 * Joe Dirt: Well, duh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets, shove 'em up bullfrogs’ asses.
 * Kickin’ Wing: I would never do that, because one day I'm going to open an animal hospital.
 * Joe Dirt: There you go. Someone shoves an M-80 up a bullfrog's butt, blows him to pieces...he comes back to you to fix it. You win twice, brother. It's good biz.

 * Joe Dirt: Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back; making fun of poor Joe Dirt?
 * Zander Kelly: Probably, because I'm sure that Yahweh would be chiming in too.

title: Joe Dirt


text:
User:Terryp

Terry Giliam P.

title: User:Terryp


text: User talk:203.166.96.237

title: User talk:203.166.96.237


text:
Car Talk

Car Talk is a radio talk show broadcast weekly on National Public Radio stations throughout the United States and elsewhere. Its subjects are cars and car repair, and it often takes humorous turns. This article includes quotations from the show's hosts, Tom and Ray Magliozzi.

Ray Magliozzi

 * I had everything a kid could want: two square meals a day, a basket to sleep in, and an imaginary dog.
 * "Ray's Life Thus Far", in In Our Humble Opinion: Car Talk's Click and Clack Rant and Rave (2000)

 * In my vast (or at least half-vast) experience with...
 * recurring joke

Tom Magliozzi

 * If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
 * In Our Humble Opinion: Car Talk's Click and Clack Rant and Rave (2000)

 * The overhead projector has done more to destroy learning than any other thing I can think of.
 * "The Education Trilogy", in In Our Humble Opinion: Car Talk's Click and Clack Rant and Rave (2000)

title: Car Talk


text:
Iggy Pop

James Newell Osterberg, Jr. (born 21 April 1947), more widely know by his stage name Iggy Pop, is an American punk rock singer and actor considered to be one of the most important innovators of punk rock and related styles. He is sometimes referred to by the nicknames "the Godfather of Punk" and "the Rock Iguana", and is widely acknowledged as one of the most dynamic stage performers of the rock era.

Peter Gzowski's 90 Minutes Live interview (1977)

 * Iggy Pop, punk pioneer, on Peter Gzowski's 90 Minutes Live (March 1977)

 * I'll tell you about punk rock: punk rock is a word used by dilettantes and, uh... and, uh... heartless manipulators, about music... that takes up the energies, and the bodies, and the hearts and the souls and the time and the minds, of young men, who give what they have to it, and give everything they have to it. And it's a... it's a term that's based on contempt; it's a term that's based on fashion, style, elitism, satanism, and, everything that's rotten about rock 'n' roll. I don't know Johnny Rotten.. but I'm sure, I'm sure he puts as much blood and sweat into what he does as Sigmund Freud did. You see, what, what sounds to you like a big load of trashy old noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. And that music is so powerful, that it's quite beyond my control. And, ah... when I'm in the grips of it, I don't feel pleasure and I don't feel pain, either physically or emotionally. Do you understand what I'm talking about? Have you ever, have you ever felt like that? When you just, when you just, you couldn't feel anything, and you didn't want to either. You know, like that? Do you understand what I'm saying, sir?

 * What I do on stage has utterly no purpose.

Dinah! interview (1977)

 * Interviewed, alongside David Bowie, by Dinah Shore (May 6, 1977)

 * The industrialism in Detroit...what I heard walking around...boom boom bah - 10 cars...boom boom bah - 20 cars...I get a lot of my influence from the electric shaver...
 * When asked what influenced his music.

 * I think I helped wipe out the sixties.
 * When asked "Do you feel you've influenced anybody?"

Interview interview (1999)

 * "Message from under the rock - musician Iggy Pop" in Interview magazine (September 1999)

 * I feel like God peed on all my enemies. For a long time I was very bitter that the people who controlled the means of anybody ever hearing my songs were never gonna play them. They only favored music that I specifically and particularly hated, and I wanted them dead. Suddenly, there was another avenue. I started hearing my stuff coming out of bars and then it started to happen little by little — a movie song here or a TV ad there.

 * You know, I'm fifty-two now and I call myself a singer. Before I kick it I want to be able to carry a tune in a living room if called upon. Of course, mine come out all dark and twisted and weird.

 * Everybody's a little more worldly now, and there's more exposure to things. When I made Fun House, back in 1970, nobody wanted to interview me. It was wonderful. I was like one of those little white things you find living under rocks, that every once in a while people pull up by mistake and go, "aagh!" But now everybody has a video camera, and that may have changed the nature of "the message from below," as it were.

Rolling Stone interview (2003)

 * Quotes from "Iggy's Trail of Destruction" in Rolling Stone (19 November 2003), including some quoted from previous interviews.

 * I wore that because it makes me look beautiful. I stare at myself in the mirror and I think, "Wow, I'm really great-looking." ... I think I'm the greatest, anyway.
 * On wearing leotards and fishnet stockings in his early performances.

 * This town is diverse as shit. I like it here a lot.
 * On Miami

 * Yeah, she's heard the war stories ... I tell it all to her. I think one has to, because one wants to know somebody, and one wants to feel that somebody knows one. I mean, the embarrassment quotient has been going down for a long time, and the fond amusement has been rising.
 * On discussing his past escapades with his girlfriend.

 * As society has changed, what had formerly been unacceptable has become colorful, even the broken-glass thing. Although, you know, there's an archetypal element to that anyway. ... It's about the blood ... The Christians used that riff with Christ. What did Christ really do? He hung out with hard-drinking fishermen. And when they asked him, "Why are you hanging out with prostitutes and fishermen?" he said, "Because they need me." What a line, you know? But what your martial society really wants is blood. We need some blood. We need some suffering. Like, the individual must suffer for the good of the whole. I toy around with that. Early on, I wasn't looking at Jesus Christ, saying to myself, "What an angle." I wasn't trying to be Christ-y. But, after all, on one level, this is showbiz.
 * On his stage performances, including acts where he would crawl and roll on broken glass.

 * You say I look goofy? OK, great. You say it's comedy? Great. Whatever anyone thought, I didn't care. Could be goony, could be sexy, could be stupid, could be cool. I didn't know, but as long as it was something, you know?
 * On his performances

 * Bowie's a real man, and I'm a real woman — just like Catherine Deneuve.
 * An earlier quote mentioned in the article.

 * This is the key thing that has always been misunderstood about me. All this fucking crap they said I did ... I only did it because I believed I was playing the actual music that was appropriate and good to reflect that time and place. ... Frankly, I've always felt I was completely innocent.

 * Nobody understands me, I'm really sensitive. Everyone thinks I should be so happy, fucking all these chicks, and all the drugs and being a star. But I hurt. And I'm lonely.

 * I used to catch myself — maybe we'd be having dinner with the future king of Spain, and I'd be grumpy, like, "What are we doing here, hanging out with these swells?" And then, right away, I'd realize, "Dude, you're jealous." It got very hard on a certain level. He was a person of affairs, in the worldly sense, with a lot of choices laid out on his smorgasbord. I had no choices whatsoever. I was a pariah. But a very fortunate one, in that he saw something worthwhile in me, and he made me two terrific records. He gave me the break I needed to continue living life. He is my benefactor.
 * On his relations with David Bowie

 * I've never had any sort of macho revulsion of fags, but Bowie and I — never, never, never, never. Everybody would think that, but I never saw him be that way anyway. I'll tell you this. That guy got more p-u-s-s-y. I couldn't believe it. Talk about a bitch magnet. Damn! Actresses, heiresses, waitresses, skateresses. And me? I was just left holding my dick most of the time. I had this short haircut, and I looked like a duck. But I got lucky sometimes. I got a good song out of a girl I was knocking off at the time, and it became "China Girl."
 * On rumours that he and Bowie were lovers.

 * I'm really not good with the pickups. I'm a klutz and don't have a line of gab. I'm only good if they know who I am. So I'll just sit and wait for somebody to say, "Aren't you ... ?" and then go from there.

 * I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.

 * If I don't terrorize, I'm not Pop.
 * An earlier statement, quoted in the article.

 * Have you ever noticed that a small creature, like a mouse or a mole, when faced with danger, they just stop? I've had big, long periods in my life when I was a lot like that. I just froze. It was not fun, but it was what I thought I had to do. And that's how I lived, pretty much, at one time. I have a hot memory, but I know I've forgotten many things, too, just squashed things in favor of survival. The only thing missing from my life right now is what I've got, and it's peace. I have more than I ever had ... and not as much as I would like.

Rolling Stone interview (2007)

 * Quotes from "Iggy Pop: The Rolling Stone Interview".

 * You write about things of importance to you. And it's gotta be for real. Do I think about my dick? Oh, yeah, all the time. If I think about it all the time, I got a right to sing about it. If I wasn't thinking about it all the time but thought, "It's time to write a rock song, I'd better mention my dick," then I wouldn't even be able to say "dick" right. Besides, it's an ecological line. It's not, "My dick is all bad, motherfucker, wickety wackety woo." It's nature-oriented. [Pauses, looking serious, then laughs] It is!

Quotes about Pop

 * You know, I love Iggy Pop, and I respect him, but I don't think I could live with him. But Jim, Jim is sweet and peaceful and romantic; when we're having dinner or making love, that's Jim, and sometimes I'll catch him just looking at the trees and birds. It's endearing and almost childlike, just the way he looks at the world with those big eyes.
 * Nina Alu, his girlfriend, as quoted in "Iggy's Trail of Destruction" in Rolling Stone (19 November 2003)

 * The best of all of them is what happened when he played the Whisky in Los Angeles ... It was a very star-studded, Jack-and-Anjelica-and-Warren night. He was waiting for his dealer, to cop, intent on getting his shot of heroin before he went on. But he had no money. So he went to the VIP booths one at a time and explained the situation. He said, "Look, you're here to see me, and I can't go on until my dealer is here, and he's waiting to be paid, so give me some money so I can fix up, and then you'll get your show." He got more than enough money. He stood off to the side and shot up. The lights went down, the music went up, he stood onstage and collapsed. Without a note being sung. He'd OD'd in front of everyone. And had to be carried off. I think that was one of his greatest shows ever ... It was so minimally perfect. It just says a very great deal.
 * Danny Fields, as quoted in "Iggy's Trail of Destruction" in Rolling Stone (19 November 2003)

 * Nothing makes sense unless you know who Iggy Pop was. Back then, right around 1969, while the rest of the world was going psychedelic, he presided over quite some reign of perverted rock & roll terror. He would slather his body in peanut butter; barf on his audience; cut himself up with broken glass; wear silver-lamè evening gloves onstage; shoot heroin; make frequent use of his big, beautiful penis; crash his car into trees; beg horrified record-label executives for drug money; pass out in bathrooms with the spike still in his arm; check himself in to a mental institution and score coke off David Bowie while there. Just in general, he lived the totally messed-up life and wrote the totally messed-up songs without which there could have been no angry punk-music explosion of the 1970s, much less anything that has evolved since, angry-punk-music-related. .... It's been twenty years since he last did heroin, four since he smoked dope or snorted coke, five since he enjoyed a cigarette. Except for a nightly glass of red wine and too much strong Cuban coffee, he's clean and leading a very regular kind of life. For love, he's got his statuesque, extra-buxom, super-sweet girlfriend, Nina Alu, who is half Nigerian, half Irish and twenty-five years his junior; for extra warmth at night, he's got their fluffy little dog Lucky.
 * Erik Hedegaard, in "Iggy's Trail of Destruction" in Rolling Stone (19 November 2003)

 * He didn't lose his virginity until he was twenty, but once he did, he went on a decade-long sex bender. He had a penchant for girls in their early teens: At the age of twenty-one, he was briefly married to a fourteen-year-old; at the age of twenty-two, he had a child (his only, Eric, now thirty-three) by another teenager; and at one early point, he had a thing for a thirteen-year-old named Betsy, of whom he has said, "She looked at me penetratingly. So I suppose you can figure out what happened next." After shows, he'd return home with some fan or other, have sex with her and tell her to get lost.
 * Erik Hedegaard, in "Iggy's Trail of Destruction" in Rolling Stone (19 November 2003)

 * He showed up, no shirt, the tightest pants you've ever seen, and his package was peeking out. ... And then, in the video we shot, you see it. Whenever anybody first sees the video, they're like, "What! Is! In! His! Pants!"
 * Peaches (Merrill Beth Nisker), on a video made for her, as quoted in "Iggy's Trail of Destruction" in Rolling Stone (19 November 2003)

title: Iggy Pop


text:
User:CPMcE

On Wikipedia:

title: User:CPMcE


text:
User talk:CPMcE

Please send posts to: Wikipedia User_talk:CPMcE

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 05:14, 4 March 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:CPMcE


text:
User talk:Ruturajw

To a person with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 03:17, 6 March 2006 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Ruturajw


text:
Talk:Alan Shepard

Note
Cleanup after PROD. Cirt (talk) 01:29, 8 January 2009 (UTC)

sitting on top...
I'm missing the quote about the feeling sitting on top of parts selected by the lowest price. --EnJx (talk) 08:43, 5 January 2023 (UTC)

title: Talk:Alan Shepard


text:
User:Alexander 007~enwikiquote

Alexander 007.

title: User:Alexander 007~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:84.65.155.3

Concrete Hippo VfD
I have reverted your removal of the vote-for-deletion tag in Concrete Hippo. Removing VfD tags is not permitted until the vote is closed. Further attempts to do so will result in your IP address being temporarily blocked. Thank you for your cooperation. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 06:28, 14 February 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:84.65.155.3


text:
Lawrence Shepp

Lawrence Shepp (born September 9, 1936 - April 23, 2013), also known as Larry Shepp, was an American mathematician.

Quotes

 * Yes, but when I discovered it, it stayed discovered.
 * On being told that a piece of work he thought was his discovery had duplicated an earlier mathematician's work. Quoted in "Pity the Scientist Who Discovers the Discovered" by Gina Kolata, New York Times: Week in Review (2006-02-05)

title: Lawrence Shepp


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Knock knock jokes

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: no consensus. — Jeffq 11:23, 14 February 2006 (UTC)

Knock knock jokes
No meaningful content. ~ UDScott 17:07, 30 January 2006 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: no consensus (1 Delete; 1 Keep), which defaults to a keep. I guess we'll see how this works out. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:23, 14 February 2006 (UTC)
 * Delete, unless viable quotes are added. ~ UDScott 17:07, 30 January 2006 (UTC)
 * Comment: We addressed a similar situation with Jokes back in June 2005. The consensus was not to have a separate article, but we were undecided on whether to delete it or redirect it to Humor, the latter of which was done. This subcategory of jokes is perhaps more manageable. Knock-knock jokes are a very quotable cultural phenomenon, but there seems to be a community reluctance to get into the joke-catalog business. The lack of sources is also especially problematic, although this could be addressed by finding some joke books from which to cite. Finally, if we keep this article, we need to figure out how to format it, as each full quote will be exactly 5 separate lines, the first two of which are identical and therefore space-wasting. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 18:31, 30 January 2006 (UTC)
 * Do Not Delete. The page is meager right now, but it'll grow. Jokes have as much right to be in WikiQuote as proverbs, which are a good example of how unsourceable quotes can be good, useful content. --Eliazar 04:57, 5 February 2006 (UTC)
 * Actually, we are remiss in not sourcing all those wonderful proverbs, too. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 07:02, 11 February 2006 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Talk:Knock knock jokes

Vote for deletion notice
This article was preserved after a vote for its deletion. See its archived VfD entry for details. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:26, 14 February 2006 (UTC)

Remaining cleanup
I've done the basic cleanup for which I believe the cleanup tag was added, but there remain two issues: I'd like to encourage editors interested in this article to consider and discuss how these issues might be resolved. Thank you. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:44, 14 February 2006 (UTC)
 * 1) We should try to obtain published sources for the knock-knock jokes we add here whenever possible.
 * 2) Formatting is an issue. The current one-line structure isn't visually appealing, but the standard 5-line presentation is awkward in wiki markup, takes up a lot of space, and is wasteful, considering all knock-knock jokes have identical first and second lines.

Misquoted
The words "knock knock" do not actually appear in the Hamlet text.
 * True. For a Shakespearian reference including these words, try Macbeth Act II Scene iii. ~ Ningauble 19:45, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Anonymous
Knock-knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Just any old made-up stuff masquerading as a quote!
 * —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Ningauble (talk • contribs) 16:17, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Formatting & more cleanup
After 5 years, I decided to be bold and reformat these jokes to make them more visually accessible. Yes, it wastes space, but we're not a print publication, and the former plain-text format not only looked horrible, it also caused problems following the challenge-response in some forms of these jokes. The system is as follows:

 * Each individual joke has its own main bullet (asterisk/star), with sources and explanations double-bulleted per standard WQ style.
 * Each part of the (usually 5-part) joke gets its own physical line, made possible by placing a   (line break) between parts.
 * The recipient's standard, formulaic lines are italicized, so that the joke-teller's lines are given prominence.

I hope this format is more useful.

I also deleted some "jokes" that either didn't seem like actual knock-knocks, or whose punning was either missing or too obscure. It might be useful to include explanatory lines for some of these, especially for readers for whom English is not a native language, or for jokes that depend on regional pronunciations or other comprehension-limiting factors. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 02:14, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Unsourced
Don't knock the old Knock-knock jokes! At least it's not the police knocking at your door!

Standard form

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Panther! Panther who? Panther no pants I'm going swimming.

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Alley! Alley who? Alli-gator.

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry! it's only a joke.

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Guess! Guess who? Gestapo.

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Merry Christmas!

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? I didn't know you yodeled!

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Cash. Cash who? I always knew you were nuts!

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Museum. Museum who? Now museum, now you don't!
 * From The Wiggles (first television series)

Variant forms

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? An interrupting cow. An interruptin— MOO!

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Oops, sorry! Just knocking on wood.

 * Knock-knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock-knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock-knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock-knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say "banana"?

title: Talk:Knock knock jokes


text: User:Joeblakesley~enwikiquote

title: User:Joeblakesley~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:207.63.113.98

~ UDScott 14:43, 14 February 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:207.63.113.98


text:
Ken Kutaragi

Ken Kutaragi (born August 8, 1950) is the former President and CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment, the video games division of Sony Corporation. He is known as "The Father of the PlayStation", which was created in the late 1990's. as well as its successor, the PlayStation 2, and the next-generation PlayStation 3.

Quotes

 * PlayStation 3 will be capable running games at 120 fps.
 * Kutaragi claims PS3 could run at 120 fps

 * You can communicate to a new cybercity. This will be the ideal home server. Did you see the movie The Matrix? Same interface. Same concept. Starting from next year, you can jack into The Matrix!
 * "The Amazing PlayStation 2", Newsweek, 27 February 2000

 * I believe we made the most beautiful thing in the world. Nobody would criticize a renowned architect's blueprint that the position of a gate is wrong. It's the same as that.
 * In response to the original PSP units' square button problems

title: Ken Kutaragi