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Rebecca West

Dame Cicily Isabel Fairfield DBE (21 December 1892 – 15 March 1983), known as Rebecca West, or Dame Rebecca West, was a British author, journalist, literary critic and.

Quotes

 * Older children always sit down to paint or write after they have seen a picture or read a story that appeals to them, and attempt to create. So life ought to be a struggle of desire towards adventures whose nobility will fertilise the soul and lead to the conception of new, glorious things. To avoid the ordeal of emotion that leads to the conception is the impulse of death. Sterility is the deadly sin. Today so many of our activities are sterile. Our upper classes are impotent by reason of their soft living. Our lower classes have had their vitality sweated out of them by their filthy labours: they can only bear dead things.
 * "The Gospel According to Granville-Parker", in The Freewoman (7 March 1912); re-published in The Young Rebecca: Writings of Rebecca West, 1911-17 (1982), p. 21

 * Socialism is not a bomb thrown at the natural institution of society, but a well-considered medicine for a diseased community.
 * "A Training in Trucelence", in The Clarion, (14 February 1913), re-published in The Young Rebecca: Writings of Rebecca West, 1911-17 (1982), p. 157.

 * I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.
 * "Mr. Chesterton in Hysterics," in The Clarion, (14 November 1913), re-published in The Young Rebecca: Writings of Rebecca West, 1911-17 (1982), p. 219.

 * God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide.
 * "The Tosh Horse," The New Statesman (1925); later included in Strange Necessity: Essays and Reviews (1928), ch. 11

 * There is one common condition for the lot of women in Western civilization and all other civilizations that we know about for certain, and that is, woman as a sex is disliked and persecuted, while as an individual she is liked, loved, and even, with reasonable luck, sometimes worshipped.
 * Speech to the Fabian Society (1928) "Dame Rebecca West Dies in London", The New York Times (16 March 1983)

 * It is not until a community or an individual has advanced a fair distance along the path of civilisation and shows by its laws its elimination of many of its most mischievous dispositions — notably sadism — that it can bear to admit the equality of women.
 * "Woman as Artist and Thinker" (1931)

 * For one cannot serve the national spirit merely by getting a lump in the throat whenever one catches sight of the Union Jack, or by seeing red when a newspaper reports that some foreign power has acted aggressively towards England. These reactions bear the same relation to true love of country that a chance encounter between a man and a woman who meet in the street bears to a happy marriage.
 * "The Necessity and Grandeur of the International Ideal" (1935)

 * There have been many legends invented about Charlemagne, but he was no legend. Out of the shattered ruins of the ancient world he built the modern world, and even now reflection on his feat quickens the pulse. It was an achievement as daring as any long transoceanic flight of our day, but it called also for endurance lasting not hours but decades, and for adventure of the mind as well as of the body ; a vast new political trajectory was described as well as a military one.
 * "The Necessity and Grandeur of the International Ideal," in Woman as Artist and Thinker, Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2005.

 * It would seem … that man has been shocked by the war into forgetting how to be a political animal. This suspicion is confirmed by the spread of Fascism, which is a headlong flight into fantasy from the necessity for political thought. There is nothing more obvious about the post-war situation than that it is novel, springs from causes which have not yet been analysed, and cannot be relieved until this analysis is complete and has been made the basis of a new social formula. Yet persons supporting Fascism behave as if man were already in possession of principles which would enable him to deal with all our problems, and as if it were only a question of appointing a dictator to apply them.
 * "The Necessity and Grandeur of the International Ideal" (1935)

 * I am for the legal government of Republican Spain against Franco, since Spain herself, at a properly conducted election, chose that Government and rejected the party which now supports Franco. I am also against Fascism; the reforms of Diocletian were a work of genius and made many people temporarily happy, but failed in the end and added greatly to human misery. I see no reason why this inferior modern copy of them should succeed.
 * "Authors Take Sides on the Spanish War" (1937), edited by Nancy Cunard, reprinted in The Spanish Front: Writers on the Civil War (1986), edited by Valentine Cunningham

 * There...is the necessity for freedom of speech and the arts. We have to scrutinize all the advances of society to judge whether they are cruel or frustrate cruelty, and for that purpose we must hear the evidence of all persons affected by their operation and of all persons qualified by experience or learning or speculative gifts to form an interesting opinion on what those operations might be. It is therefore necessary that all classes of men should be given the fullest opportunity to express themselves without constraint, not only out of admiration for an abstraction, but as a practical measure toward human survival. It is also necessary that the artist, of whatsoever kind, should be free to anatomize the spirit, so that we can comprehend the battlefield that is this life, and which are the troops of light and which of darkness, and what light may be, and darkness.
 * "I Believe", in I Believe : The Personal Philosophies of Certain Eminent Men and Women Of Our Time edited by Clifton Fadiman. New York : Simon and Schuster, 1939.

 * The word “idiot” comes from a Greek root meaning private person. Idiocy is the female defect: intent on their private lives, women follow their fate through a darkness deep as that cast by malformed cells in the brain. It is no worse than the male defect, which is lunacy: men are so obsessed by public affairs that they see the world as by moonlight, which shows the outlines of every object but not the details indicative of their nature.
 * Black Lamb and Grey Falcon (1941)

 * Motherhood is the strangest thing, it can be like being one’s own Trojan horse.
 * Letter (20 August 1959), as quoted in Victoria Glendinning, Rebecca West: A Life (1987), Part 5, Chapter 8, p. 206

 * Present-day women's lib … is repudiation of the obligation to follow a certain pattern if you are a woman. It is much more fundamental than suffragism. And, on the whole, I am with it.
 * Interview with The Sunday Telegraph, quoted in the Eugene Register-Guard (27 December 1972)

 * Everyone realizes that one can believe little of what people say about each other. But it is not so widely realized that even less can one trust what people say about themselves.
 * As quoted in The Sunday Telegraph, London (1975), and Rebecca West : A Life (1987) by Victoria Glendinning, p. xi

 * After any disturbance (such as two world wars coinciding with a period of growing economic and monetary incomprehensibility) we find our old concepts inadequate and look for new ones. But it unfortunately happens that the troubled times which produce an appetite for new ideas are the least propitious for clear thinking.
 * As quoted in The Sunday Telegraph, London (1981), and The Annual Obituary 1983 (1984) edited by Elizabeth Devine and Marion Stoker Morgan, p. 143

 * I do not myself find it agreeable to be 90, and I cannot imagine why it should seem so to other people. It is not that you have any fears about your own death, it is that your upholstery is already dead around you.
 * Quoted in "There is nothing like a dame: Dame Rebecca West at ninety," Vogue (February 1983)

The Harsh Voice: Four Short Novels (1935)

 * The point is that nobody likes having salt rubbed into their wounds, even if it is the salt of the earth.
 * "The Salt of the Earth"

 * There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.

The Thinking Reed (1936)

 * But just as it sometimes happens that the most temperate people, who have never acquired the habit of drinking alcohol, or even a taste for it, are tormented by the fear that somehow or other they will one day find themselves drunk, so Isabelle perpetually feared that she might be betrayed into an impulsive act that was destructive to such order as reason had imposed on life. Therefore she was forever running her faculty of analysis over in her mind with the preposterous zeal of an adolescent running a razor over his beardless chin.
 * Chapter I

 * To him boredom was a tragedy, for he had no more realization than if he had been an animal that any state he was in would ever come to an end.
 * Chapter III

 * She was indeed aching with that depression, which oddly takes the form of a sense of guilt, that comes to those who find themselves alone in sobriety among the alcoholized.
 * Chapter III

 * That certain women were ready to sell themselves caused no excessive disgust in Isabelle. It was inevitable that a number of both men and women should compromise the institution of marriage by marrying for money, and once that happened there could be no question of impressing on the toughly logical female mind the unique vileness of prostitution. She had sometimes wondered, too, whether the contempt men felt for women who market their favors did not in part proceed from from the sense of grievance eternally felt by buyers against vendors.
 * Chapter VI

 * These women were fatuous with a fatuity which had threatened her all her life, as it threatened all people of means, and which was of mournful significance for humanity in general, since it proved the emptiness of one of man's most reasonable expectations. No more sensible form of government could be imagined than aristocracy. If certain able stocks in the community were able to amass enough wealth to give their descendants beautiful houses to grow up in, the widest opportunities of education, complete economic security, so that they need never be influenced by mercenary considerations, and easy access to any public form of work they chose to undertake — why, then, the community had a race of perfect governors ready made. Only, as the Lauristons showed, the process worked out wholly different in practice. There came to these selected stocks a deadly, ungrateful complacence, which made them count these opportunities as their achievements, and belittle everybody else's achievements unless they were similarly confused with opportunities; and which did worse than this, by abolishing all standards from their minds except what they themselves were and did.
 * Chapter VII

 * One was kind, out of a bounty that could hardly be exhausted, to old governesses and gardeners, who could be relied upon to give thanks with proper abjection; one performed public duties, for which one was paid in full by deference; one was chaste, refusing to run away from one's husband with other men who for the most part did not ask one to do so, and who in any case had nothing better to offer than one's own home. Knowing no difficulties one was without fortitude; knowing no criteria but one's own achievements one was without taste.
 * Chapter VII

 * She had in all her life never stopped talking long enough to given anyone time to approach her with any proposition regarding sexual irregularity; and the general tendency to be censorious of the vices to which one has not been tempted was present in her in a specially rank form.
 * Chapter IX

The Paris Review interview (1981)

 * "Rebecca West, The Art of Fiction No. 65" by Marina Warner, in The Paris Review No. 79 (Spring 1981); republished in The Paris Review Interviews : Writers at Work Sixth Series (1984)

 * I can't help thinking that the whole of the Vietnam War was the blackest comedy that ever was, because it showed the way you can't teach humanity anything. We'd all learnt in the rest of the world that you can't now go around and put out your hand and, across seas, exercise power; but the poor Americans had not learned that and they tried to do it. The remoteness of Americans from German attack had made them feel confident. They didn't really believe that anything could reach out and kill them. Americans are quite unconscious now that we look on them as just as much beaten as we are. They're quite unconscious of that. They have always talked of Vietnam as if by getting out they were surrendering the prospect of victory, as if they were being noble by renouncing the possibility of victory. But they couldn't have had a victory. They couldn't possibly have won.

 * If there is a God, I don't think He would demand that anybody bow down or stand up to Him. I have often a suspicion God is still trying to work things out and hasn't finished.
 * This has also appeared in paraphrased form as: "If there is a God, I don't think He would demand that anyone bow down or stand up to Him. I often have a suspicion that God is still trying to work things out and hasn't finished."

 * It’s extraordinary the really tragic and dreadful things there are in marriage which are funny. I’ve never known anybody to write about this. My husband would insist on going and driving a car, and he’d never been a good driver. Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world and he couldn’t drive at all at the end and it was terrible.

 * It's an absurd error to put modern English literature in the curriculum. You should read contemporary literature for pleasure or not at all. You shouldn't be taught to monkey with it.

Quotes about West

 * My note to Rebecca West brought a kind of reply and an invitation to lunch. I was pleasantly surprised to find her anything but English in her manner. But for her speech I should have thought her an Oriental, she was so vivacious, eager, charming, direct. Her friendliness, the cosiness of her room, the hot tea, were grateful after a long, cold ride in the drab autumn afternoon. She had not read my writings, she frankly admitted, but she knew enough about me to add her welcome to that of the others and she would be happy to speak at the dinner. She would also arrange an evening to have her friends meet me. I was not to hesitate to call on her for anything I might need. I left my hostess with the comforting feeling that I had found a friend, an oasis in the desert London seemed to me.
 * Emma Goldman, Living My Life (1931)

 * No single form or genre was sufficient to contain her energy, and she lived as hard as she wrote. Rebecca West went everywhere, read everything, knew everyone. As Bonnie Kime Scott says in her editor’s introduction, "To read her letters in an informed way is to receive an education in the culture of the twentieth century."
 * Hilary Mantel, in "Conservative Rebel", a review of Selected Letters of Rebecca West, in The New York Review of Books (29 June 2000)

 * Rebecca [West] is an extremely clever young woman whose critical writings in the papers have been startling everyone for the last few years. Rebecca can handle a pen as brilliantly as ever I could, and much more savagely.
 * George Bernard Shaw, letter to Mrs. Patrick Campbell, September 4, 1916. Quoted in Harold Orel & Natalie Martin, The Literary Achievement of Rebecca West, Springer, 1985.

 * It is not an exaggeration if one claims that The Strange Necessity and The Common Reader of Virginia Woolf are the two finest volumes of literary criticism written by women in the English language.
 * Hugh Walpole, review of "The Strange Necessity" by West in New York Herald Tribune Books (September 2, 1928). Reprinted in Current Biography Yearbook : 1968, the H. W. Wilson Company, 1969.

title: Rebecca West


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Ultimate Fantastic Four

Ultimate Fantastic Four (2004-2009) is a comic book published by Marvel Comics, part of the Ultimate Marvel line. The title features the Fantastic Four characters re-imagined for a modern audience.

The Fantastic

 * Benjamin Grimm: You're going to send candy bars to another dimension?
 * Reed Richards: You know what? Maybe not candy. Because, really, I haven't worked out that level of calculation. Who knows what happens when you send a- a nougat cluster or chocolate into a negative dimension. I could be sending them a bomb for all I know... or poison.

 * Reed Richards: I'm not pulling my weight or whatever. I'm not contributing.
 * Susan Storm: You are insane. You reinvented the data processor and ---
 * Reed Richards: That's just- that's just side stuff. I put all that together to help me work the transporter calculation problems. That's not what I'm-
 * Susan Storm: Well only you could revolutionize data tech and see that as a side project.

 * Reed Richards: Ben!! Wh-what are you--?
 * Benjamin Grimm: Well, the way I see it, clearly, I've gone ape#$%^ insane. Or I'm in a coma having some fantasy dream or something-- So, guess I might as well be the hero in it.

 * Reed Richards: I can't help but wonder-- What would've happened if we hadn't turned into what we turned into- just in time to deal with Molekevic's insanity? What if we hadn't?
 * Susan Storm: Wow, you really do like to torture yourself with existential questions no one can answer.

Doom

 * Victor Van Damme: I was perfect. I have always been perfect. You were never perfect. Scrawny little effort of a man. I can recite my family tree through six hundred years and I can recite the correct superpositioning code. Even now. Even now. You never understood that science is an art, not a system. Modern science comes from Descartes, who said that the conquest of nature is achieved through measurement and number. Do you know how he came to that realization? He had a psychedelic experience with mushrooms in which an angel told him this was so.

 * Reed Richards: Johnny, how are you feeling?
 * Johnny Storm: I need a super hero name.
 * Reed Richards: So you're feeling pretty good.

 * (As Reed and Susan kiss)
 * Benjamin Grimm: You think his tongue stretches?
 * Johnny Storm: Jeeeeez.

 * (Being hit by a rocket, the Fantasticar ceases being airborne)
 * Reed Richards: Airbags!
 * Benjamin Grimm: Great. We're gonna be smothered before we crash.
 * Johnny Storm: Reed is so clever he can kill us twice in the same five minutes.

 * Victor Van Damme:(Greeting Johnny) Hothead Johnny. On fire. The universe is laughing behind your back, Johnny. . . . And I'm laughing right in your face.

N-Zone

 * Susan Storm: You made a robot hula hoop. No, no -- a hovering robot hula hoop. You want I should call the TV news now, or should I practice a few tricks with it first?
 * Reed Richards: Leave me alone.

 * Franklin Storm: You're grounded.
 * Susan Storm: You can't ground me.
 * Franklin Storm: You're grounded until you're thirty.
 * Susan Storm: Dad, you can't ground us.
 * Franklin Storm: I can ground you until you're thirty and keep you in the basement away from boys. It's the law.
 * Susan Storm: No, it's not.
 * Franklin Storm: How would you know? I'm a very important scientist and I know everything. Now go to your room.

 * Reed Richards: Let's start with something simple. Binary code. Establish a basis for conversation. They might think we're techno-retards, but whatever...
 * Johnny Storm: Send 'em a text, Reed. We R from Earth OMG LOL kthx.

 * (Reed and Ben discuss Nihil's suspicious nature.)
 * Benjamin Grimm: I told you, man. His name was E-Vill.
 * Reed Richards: Was not.
 * Benjamin Grimm: Your translator thingy called him, like, Annihilate or Nihilism or something. I mean, there's your frickin' clue train, pulled up right to the station.

 * (A previously sleeping Johnny Storm is fighting aliens while in his underwear)
 * Johnny Storm: I'm nuking little alien guys with big guns! I don't know who they are or where they came from or why I'm in Las Vegas! Rock!

Think Tank

 * Reed Richards: I don't think we'll get in trouble.
 * Benjamin Grimm: Right.
 * Reed Richards: I mean, we did save Las Vegas.
 * Benjamin Grimm: Sure.
 * Reed Richards: And technically, they started the fight.
 * Benjamin Grimm: Shut up, man.

 * Ben Grimm: I don't get it.
 * Johnny Storm:(sarcastic) Well, that must be it then. I mean, if Sherlock Grimm can't figure it out, it must be truly ungettable, right?
 * Ben Grimm: I'm sorry, if he asks me to kill him, its suicide, right? Not murder.

 * Lumpkin: Its a trap, gentlemen. We're going nowhere.
 * Reed Richards: Is it a trap? Its a bit obvious to be a trap. You don't put a sign up saying 'Caution - Trap Ahead'. I think this is more of a challenge
 * Underling: Sir, the reinforced-steel elevator just started up again.
 * Lumpkin: Well, Mr. Richards, do you think this -
 * Reed Richards: No, I think this is a trap. Let's take the stairs.

Crossover

 * Chrono Bandit:(to Reed) . . . And no funny business. I know you can stretch like a rubber band and I know Invisible Woman can turn invisible. We studied you guys before we hacked into your files. We know all about you 'Mr. Fantastic'.
 * Susan Storm: What about my force fields? You ever seen one of my force fields before?
 * Chrono Bandit: No . ..
 * Susan Storm: That's because they're invisible, jackass.
 * (Chrono Bandits go flying)

 * Reporter: Hey, guys. New York Daily News. How did you find out that the Chrono-Bandits were gonna hold the human race for ransom?
 * Benjamin Grimm: Believe it or not, it was in our horoscopes this morning.

 * (Reed teleports to a parallel dimension. However, instead of the almost-similar world he was led to expect, he finds a wrecked cityscape. He is ambushed by the person who called him here - this dimension's Reed Richards, who is revealed as a walking corpse)
 * Zombie Reed: Ever get the feeling you've been had?

 * Reed: Sue, I'm sorry I went missing for a day, but there was - Sue: Oh no, let me guess. You found a... a new parallel universe? With - with younger versions of ourselves? There was drama, danger, you saved untold universes... Reed: ...something like that, yes. - Marvel Knights 4 #21(running at the same time as this story)

President Thor

 * Ben Grimm:(in tears) Ah, Johnny, you got it easy. Since the accident, you get to go to cool parties and hang out with cool chicks. Me, I just think about suicide. I mean, I figured, hey, no big deal, Reed such a megabrain he'll have me back to normal in a couple of months. But he ain't run tests on me in weeks, and I'm really startin' to get it. This skin condition, this radioactive thing I got here - this ain't goin' away. This is permanent. I'd kill myself if I could find a razor sharp enough. You think maybe Reed could help me with that?
 * (Reed and Sue step into shot, but still out of Ben's view. Reed in silent tears)
 * Ben Grimm: You think that's too much to ask?

 * Child: Gosh, thanks for your autograph, Mr. Grimm. Here's a card with my number on it, so you can call for my help next time you get attacked by the Trapster or something, OK?
 * Ben Grimm Ah... OK kid, but I gotta tell you, I got a lot of these cards at home...
 * (mysterious shadow falls across the street)
 * Jasmine: Look! Up in the sky!
 * Ben Grimm: Relax, it's just a meteorite. And in two -
 * (Masked man flies under the meteorite, catches it, and throws it back into space)
 * Masked Man: Sorry I cut it too fine there, Ben. All clear.
 * Ben Grimm: Nah, happens all the time. Its the occupational hazard of being the last normal guy alive. Gotta let the super-people have their fun.

 * Super-Skrull: You hear that? That's the sound of a billion people dying. Now it's a million. The superpower pills - they always work. Why didn't you take one? You're the first person not to accept them since we began our conquest of the universe. And unlike that idiot Thor or all those stupid mutants we're hunting down right now, you weren't anything special to begin with. Now it's a hundred -
 * Ben Grimm:(cradling dying girlfriend) No...
 * Super-Skrull: Now it's five - four - three - two - one. Congratulations, Mr. Grimm, you're now officially the last surviving member of your species. What's so funny? Is there something amusing about my Skrull fleets dominating your world?
 * Ben Grimm: No...
 * Super-Skrull: Then why are you laughing, you imbecile?
 * Ben Grimm: Because all those powers you were boastin' about... all those millions of different super-abilities...and you still ain't got two brain cells to rub together
 * Super-Skrull: What are you talking about?
 * Ben Grimm: That suit gets powered by whatever super heroes you're surrounded by, right?
 * Super-Skrull: Naturally.
 * Ben Grimm: So what happens when the last guy alive doesn't have any super-powers?
 * Super-Skrull: Ah.
 * Ben Grimm: Exactly. It's CLOBBERING TIME!

Frightful

 * Human Torch: So, the pictures back from the drugstore yet?
 * Reed: Johnny, as far as we can tell, you have a parasitic growth in your intestine. You probably got it in the N-Zone, but we missed it somehow in the quarantine -
 * Human Torch: And in words I can understand...
 * Sue Storm: You're pregnant.
 * Human Torch:Those lying skanks. I knew this would happen eventually!

 * Sue Storm: Crystal, for God's sake! If this thing grows, it'll spread over the entire planet and that means the Inhumans are at just as much risk as the rest of us!
 * Crystal:(looking up at the Moon) Not where we are now...

 * Mary Storm: Richards and my daughter have just arrived at the front door - and a full four minutes earlier than you predicted, too.
 * Victor van Damme: Then I suggest you reset your watch, woman. Doctor Doom does not make mistakes.

 * Zombie Mister Fantastic: (explaining his escape plan) Oh, it's just a ballpoint pen, sargeant. Though I will admit, it's amazing what you can do with ink and the chemicals from our food. I even managed to use a strand of hair as a keyboard. Granted, it's a pretty crude teleporter, but it'll get us to Central Park.
 * (After they have conned the guards into opening all the doors)
 * Zombie Invisible Woman: A teleporter made from ink and food coloring? Are you guys a specal kind of moron?
 * Zombie Human Torch: Sure they are, sis. Kentucky-fried moron.

 * Doctor Doom has trapped himself in the zombie's dimension, and is promptly seen by a group of the zombies, who charge at him.
 * Doctor Doom: This could be a challenge.

Annual 2

 * Human Torch: The Mole Man? But he got buried under like a bazillion tons of rock. He's dead. Right?
 * Thing: House is currently offering odds of three to one.

 * Mole Man: Ha! Who but I, the Mole Man, could built a hydraulic platform under an entire building?
 * Fungal Monster Servant: (Unintelligible noises)
 * Mole Man: Well, yes. But Tony Stark's not here, is he?

 * Strange Josie: Why the fricking hell did you kidnap us?
 * Mole Man: Because the world needs a life-raft. Eventually, the modern world will slip up. Slip and fall. But you children, with your exceptional minds... you will be the seeds from which a superior society will someday rise. Here, in the ruins of Lemuria, we will work and research. And, above all... breed.
 * Nerdy Scientist: B...breed?
 * Strange Josie: Don't think too hard about it, Gus, you'll give yourself a nosebleed.
 * (Mole Man departs. Brief pause)
 * Phineas Morton: I don't think he's coming back, Josie. Maybe we should, ah, breed.
 * Strange Josie; Hell, no. Gus, pass me that screwdriver thing. I want to see Lemurians had before they died.

 * (The Fantastic Four walking through the ruins of Lemuria)
 * Invisible Woman: It's eerie that a city's this quiet.
 * Thing: Yeah. But, y'know. It's only three. Rush hour hasn't started yet.
 * (Monstrous roaring sound is heard)
 * Reed Richards: Amazing. That sounds alive. But did Mole Man create it here, or just find it?
 * Thing: Shouldn't we worry about it finding us?
 * Reed Richards: Oh, the acoustics in these tunnels is nuts. They could be miles away, or -
 * (A quartet of giant monster round the corner and charge the Fantastic Four)
 * Thing: Yeah. Or.

 * Strange Josie: Hey, Mole Man. Two points. One: locking up a bunch of weird scientists in a room full of weird science? Not smart. And two? I don't even like boys.

 * Gus' log: After we beat the Mole Man, Reed Richards wanted us to back to the surface. But we had the Lemurian super-weapons. And we had Strange Josie. All they had were super-powers. But they agreed with us in the end. It was harder to convince General Ross. He said the military had invested a lot in our education. He said he'd call the Ultimates. he said he'd call our parents. The Strange Josie started the hydraulics and they went away. We started taking the machinery apart immediately. It was hard for the first few weeks, eating mycoproteins and wearing the smelly clothes off the first loom. But it paid off - the artificial sun rose for the first time in over ten thousand years yesterday. This isn't a forever thing. We'll go back up there, someday. When we've worked out the answers to all the really big questions. But we're going to take our time. Get it absolutely right. We don't have any reason to rush.
 * (View pans out, to show Gus, Strange Josie & co, sitting in barricaded rooms in the middle of a city overrun with giant monsters.)
 * Gus' log: I mean - who's going to come looking for us down here?

God War

 * (Gang of alien soldiers teleport into a lingerie department, causing a wreck)
 * Magnificent Brute: Ha! We did it! No Ravens, no Bombardiers - we did it and we got out clean! I told you there was a world here!

 * Vykni: (commenting on New York City and its people) This place smells. And the indigenes--they look just human enough to be creepy. It's like a bad sense-net flick. Planet of the Monkey People.

 * (In the aftermath of a fight between the FF and the alien soldiers, Willy Lumpkin arrives to escort the team back home)
 * Lumpkin: Doctor Richards. How are you?
 * Reed Richards: I got shot four times in the chest. So either they suck at aiming, or I don't store anything important in there anymore.
 * Lumpkin: That's great. Get your stuff, kid. We're taking you back to the Baxter Building for a medical work-up.
 * Sue Storm: Not without the alien's... spacecraft thing. I want to examine it.
 * Lumpkin: Well, hey. Ain't we got fun.
 * (An alien artifact near the alien craft begins to glow)
 * Reed Richards: Hey, they left something else behind. That whole "sucky alien" theory is beginning to look a lot more solid.

 * (The artifact brings Reed to a dreamscape)
 * Giant Woman: I greet you, Reed Richards, in the name of the All. Take my hand, and walk with me.
 * Reed Richards: Why? It's not real.
 * 'Giant Woman: (smiling mysteriously)Isn't it?
 * Reed Richards: I can feel cold tiles on one side of my face, and I can smell... solder and disinfectant. Ergo, I'm lying unconscious on the floor of my lab, and you're projecting this into my mind. So the big question is, who are you?
 * Giant Woman: I am Seed Nineteen, of the planet Halycon. My children, whom you met briefly, are named for me. Collectively, they are also Seed Nineteen. They are brave and unique people. I think you'd like them. That is - if I decide to let you live.
 * Reed Richards: Are you going to put a knife in me, or what?
 * Giant Woman: While your mind is here, I control you autonomic functions. I can stop your heart. Stall your lungs. Starve your brain.
 * Reed Richards: I don't have a heart anymore. And no-one knows what I breathe. It's why I'm able to stretch. So leaving aside your motive once again, may I say that you're flunking basic intimidation here.
 * Giant Woman: Wait! I sense - Gallowglass! How did he follow them? Unless - no! He could never have subverted one of my children! We must trust each other now, Reed Richards. We have no other choices left.
 * Reed Richards: Because killing me stopped looking like a viable option?
 * Giant Woman: Because I believe my children will need you if they're to survive against him.
 * Reed Richards: Because killing me stopped looking like a viable option?
 * Giant Woman: Because I believe my children will need you if they're to survive against him.

 * (Dreamcatcher has Ben Grimm disguised while inside his mind)
 * Ben Grimm: This feels wrong, somehow.
 * Dreamcatcher: It's the uniform of a grand marshal. The insignia are faithfully--
 * Ben Grimm: Not what I meant. You're touching me in some pretty intimate places.
 * Dreamcatcher: I got my eyes closed.

 * Reed Richards: You're not as powerful as you want me to think you are.
 * Thanos: No? Why do you say that?
 * Reed Richards: The storm troopers. The torture chambers. The executions. You're afraid of what these people would do if they were free.
 * Thanos: Freedom is disorder. It is the hole in the universe which lets in randomness and chaos. So I subjugate the wills of others to my own will. With biomechanical devices, as in the case of Tesseract. Or simply through terror and coercion. And they thank me. They give up their freedom willingly. They never knew what to do with it in the first place. Do you understand me, Reed Richards?
 * Reed Richards: Oh yeah. I understand you okay. But fascism is kind of retro where I come from. No one's been seriously into it for sixty years or so.

 * Threshold: You are an incomparable warrior, Reed Richards! It was your plan that saved us!
 * Reed Richards: I'm no warrior, Threshold. I simply -
 * (Threshold begins kissing Reed Richards, until she tapped on the shoulder by Sue Storm)
 * Sue Storm: So. It's real fun, having you around, but it'll be kind of hard for you to walk home with no spine.
 * Threshold: What? His seed is precious. It must not go to waste.
 * Sue Storm: ...OK, first, that's gross. And secondly, it's my problem, not yours.

Devils

 * Ben Grimm: I don't care where that portal goes, we're going. You down, Johnny?
 * Johnny Storm: Hell yes, Rocky.
 * Reed Richards: We're figuring out the variables before we go through. No-one is going anywhere.
 * Johnny Storm: Hey, this goes to like the Middle Ages. I think we can deal.
 * Reed Richards: Right. It was put together by a guy in the Middle Ages who's mastered time-travel. Are you thinking at all? My sister and your dad are in there, and I will not lose them because you felt like burning off excess hormones.

 * Diablo: (stealing Reed's breath using alchemy)So tell me, Signore Richards, which, once and for all do you think is stronger - my magic or your science?
 * Reed Richards: (reaching for a device on his belt) Sss -
 * Diablo: Science? I do not think so. Goodbye, Signore Richards.
 * Reed Richards: (revealing the device - it is the remote control for a bomb) Circuit breaker.

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Ultimate Fantastic Four


text:
Orgazmo

Orgazmo is a 1997 film by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of the animated series South Park. Mild-mannered Mormon missionary Joe Young (Parker), who gets talked into starring in a porno movie. In the movie-within-the-movie, he plays a superhero named "Orgazmo" who fights crime using his ability to make anyone climax with his "Orgazmorator".

Theme Song
Hey!

What makes a man? Is it the power in his hands? Is it his quest for glory? Give it all you got To fight to the top So we can know your story

Now you're a man! (Man!) A man, man, man Now you're a man! (Man!) A man-e, man-e, man A man, man, man (Man!) You are now a man You're a man Now you're a man!

Live it! Live it!

What makes a man? Is it the woman in his arms? Just because she has big titties Or is the way He fights everyday? No, it's probably the titties

Now you're a man! (Man!) A man, man, man Now you're a manman! (Man!) Manman, man, manman Now you're a man! (Man!) M-A-N, man, man Manman, man Now you're man!

Dave

 * I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band!
 * You know, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think you've got a really nice ass!
 * Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!
 * I don't want to sound like a queer or nothin', but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight.

Maxxx Orbison

 * Soon he will be sleeping with the fishes, see.

G-Fresh

 * Homey don't play that!
 * G-Fresh in the house.
 * Get your punk asses out of my sushi bar!
 * They just kicked my sorry black ass!

Joe

 * Ben! Use your hamster style!

Dialogue

 * Maxxx Orbison: I do what I do, and I make a lot of money. And I don't give a shit what I do to people, because they are all idiots!
 * Clark: Yeah!
 * Maxxx Orbison: Especially you, Clark, you pig-fucking hunk of shit!
 * Clark: Yeah!

 * Dave: My name's Dave!
 * Sancho: I am Sancho. I'll mean to sound like a queer or nothin', but I think fire is very romantic.

 * Maxxx Orbison: What you want, Hung? I'm very very busy.
 * Joe: Well, Mr. Orbison, I just came by to tell you that... I have to quit.
 * Sancho: Oh my God, it's Orgazmo!
 * Joe: I'm not Orgazmo!
 * Sancho: I am Sancho
 * Joe: You, you see, Mr. Orbison, my my fiancée came infrom out of town and everything just... well... dangit, I just have to get back to Utah and marry her!
 * Maxxx Orbison: Get outta here! I'll see ya on set tomorrow.
 * Joe: No, I'm serious. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but, I have to say no. My contract does state that I can leave whenever I want.
 * Maxxx Orbison: Wait a minute, kid, you're forgetting something.
 * Joe: What?
 * Maxxx Orbison: That contracts don't mean shit to me. Now you're gonna finish this film. and then do you know what you're gonna do?
 * Joe: No.
 * Maxxx Orbison: You're gonna do Orgazmo 3. Orgazmo 4, Orgazmo 5, Orgazmo Twenty-fucking-Seven if I want you to and do you know why?
 * Joe: No.
 * Maxxx Orbison: Because I'm Maxxx Orbison! and I get what I want!
 * Joe: Now... Now hold on a minute, Mr. Orbison! I said I don't wanna do it! and you don't... you don't... own me!
 * Maxxx Orbison: You wanna bet I don't punk? Now I'm warnin' you, kid! Don't fuck with me! Now you go home and you tell your little fiancée that the wedding is off and you have your ass... back here tomorrow a.m. or else, you'll be sleeping with the fishes. see? send in the next audition.
 * Joe: You know? I have had enough of your poo, Mr. Orbison! Find yourself another Orgazmo!
 * Maxxx Orbison: I'm warning you, Hung!
 * Joe: Good-bye!
 * Clark: Not so fast, happy-pants.
 * Maxxx Orbison: No. No! It's his decision. Let him go.
 * A-Cup: You shouldn't let me whoop his ass, Uncle Orbison!
 * Maxxx Orbison: No, we don't need him all messed up for the shoot tomorrow. There's another way.

 * Ben: Jesus!
 * Joe: Where?!

 * Ben: Hey, can you walk around with that thing on?
 * Joe: I think so, why?
 * Ben: Wanna go have some fun?

 * Ben: Quick! To the Orgazmobile!
 * Joe: What?
 * Ben: My Buick Century!

Taglines

 * Jesus and I love you.
 * Making sex safe again!
 * I don't want to sound queer or nothing, but…

title: Orgazmo


text:
User talk:Web kai2000

Redirects
I redirected the article for The Undertaker to Mark Calaway as you requested. In the future, this is something you can easily do as well. Just replace the text with the following: #REDIRECT name of page you want to send to. Also, you can look under the Help section, for the help with editing part that deals with redirects. UDScott 16:01, 7 December 2005 (UTC)

Shane McMahon page needs your help
Please see my comments on Talk:Shane_McMahon. I see you have worked on that page and other  Category:WWE pages, so I think you might be in a good position to help. --TravisM 10:54, 28 March 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:Web kai2000


text:
User talk:Ourchair~enwikiquote

Could you please give issue numbers for the quotations from the Ultimate Fantastic Four? I've only recently started following the title (in the "not quite 616-crossover" arc). Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Ourchair. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Ourchair~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:31, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:54, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Ourchair~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Collard

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 16:41, 5 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:Collard


text:
User talk:198.161.108.18

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 16:50, 5 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:198.161.108.18


text:
Denis Leary

Denis Colin Leary (born August 18, 1957, in Worcester, Massachusetts) is an American actor, comedian, writer and director.

No Cure for Cancer (1993)

 * ...and there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it, you know why? Because we've got the bombs! That's why, yeah! Two words: NUCLEAR FUCKIN' WEAPONS! OK?!

 * I would never do crack. I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

 * I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!

 * NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil! We love you, you giant fucking "Q"!

 * I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green, merry fucking Christmas!

 * There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

 * I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!

 * "I'm just not happy, I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy because my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Hey, join the fucking club! I thought I was going to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Sox. Life sucks, get a fucking helmet! Alright?

 * Ted Kennedy, a good senator but a bad date you know what I mean? "What'd I forget? Goddamit the fuckin' girl! Jesus Christ where are my pants?"

 * We didn't have rehab back in the Seventies. Back in the Seventies, rehab meant you stopped doing coke, but you kept smoking pot and drinking for a couple more weeks.

 * Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm, that's it okay? You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep you get up in the morning and go to fucking work okay? That is it, end of fucking list!

 * God.. crack. Only in America would a guy invent crack. Only in America would there be a guy that cocaine wasn't good enough for. You know? One guy walking around New York City back in 1985 going, "You know, that cocaine's pretty good, but I want something that makes my heart explode as soon as I smoke it, ok? I want to take one suck off that crack pipe and go *snort* *splat* Now I'm happy! I'm dead, the ultimate high!"

 * Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.

 * The people you would have overdose on drugs never would. Like Mötley Crüe would never fucking overdose, man, never. You could put them in a room with two tons of crack, they'd come out half an hour later, goin "ROCK ON MAN!"

 * Somebody accidentally nudges their poodle off a 75th floor ledge. Boink. And he's headed for the ground at a hundred and seventy five thousand miles per hour "BARROOOOOOOO!!". And "KERCHUNK" he's embedded on your head. You're dead on contact. The headline on the post the next day reads "Man Killed By Best Friend." People cut the article out and laugh about it at the office. You are forever remembered as the Poodleman! "I knew the Poodleman and he hated fucking poodles."

 * I was reading an interview with Keith Richards in a magazine and in the interview Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards! Says that kids should not do drugs! Keith, we can't do any more drugs because you already fucking did them all, alright? There's none left! We have to wait 'til you die and smoke your ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk about the pot and the fuckin' kettle.

Lock 'n Load (1997)

 * I'm the Lord of the Dance! Fuck Michael Flatley, it's me! ...Who has the balls to call themselves the lord of anything, huh? C'mon, last time somebody called themself lord on this planet, they got CRUCIFIED, Michael! And we know where the hammer and the nails are! We could put you up in a couple of minutes!

 * (talking about The Lord Of The Dance) Have you seen that show? If you have, GET OUT! Get the hell out of my show right now!

 * (talking about Marv Albert) Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv. This is God, what the HELL were you thinking?!?

 * Did I miss a fucking meeting with the coffee? You can get every other flavor except COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE! They got mochaccino, they've got chococcino, frapaccino, capaccino, rapaccino, Al Pacino, WHAT THE FUCK! www.whattheFUCK.com!!

 * Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup! That's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup- that's it!

 * When I was a kid, Dunkin' Donuts had two things: coffee and donuts, and that was it! You took the donut, dunked it in the coffee, thus the fucking title of the place!

 * You're 18 years old, you're in a 7-11, you don't know shit about shit and PULL UP YOUR PANTS!

 * Cranberry Ale! Cranberry NUT CRUNCH FUCKING ALE! Cranberries and beer do not go together! One's for bladder infections, one's for getting DRUNK!

 * Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever.

 * Making a key decision now for our kids, it's religion decision time, you know...and I'm not bringing em up Catholic. I've made that decision. Boy, because I was raised Catholic, and NOO WAY! Uh-uh! Nope! Know what? I can't bring up my kids in a church whose authority system is entirely based on the size of fucking hats, okay? That's apparently how the Catholic church is run. The bigger the hat, the more important the guy, right? Priests have no hats, cardinals have those little red beanies, the pope has a collection of big hats...God must have a huge fucking sombrero up there in heaven! "Look at me, I'm GOD! Look at the size of my hat, who else would I be?" I don't know, lead singer of Los Lobos?

Lapsed Catholic Church

 * I am now the leader of the Lapsed Catholic Church, and here are the rules, my friends. Thou shalt not? Fuck that, thou fucking shall! As long as you don't have sex with kids or kill anybody you can do whatever the FUCK you want in my church! But if you so much as look at an altar boy the wrong way, you don't get transferred to some distant parish up in Nova Scotia, no fucking way, pal! You stand naked in the middle of Times Square wearing a big neon sign that says "I carry a torch for kids who carry candles," you fucking asshole. And there's no more magic, no more burning bushes or [the virgin Mary appearing on] blueberry muffins. You screw up this time, the virgin mother shows up in your driveway like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas, she pistol whips ya, and then she sets your dick on fire, OK? Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife? Bullshit! You covet his wife, his house, his car, and his pool. You know why? Because he's coveting every INCH of your shit, pal!
 * Yeah, what are you doing, father? Keep your hands to yourself, man! Wanna do something with your hands? Stick them up the pope's ass! It's one of the new fucking rules, OK?
 * 'Cause in my church, when it comes to healing, you know how Benny Hinn lays his hands on a supposedly blind person, then when he takes his hands off, the guy can see? Here's how we do it in my church. You're a pothead? Guess what...you're STILL a fucking pothead!
 * And when it comes time to confess your sins in the Lapsed Catholic Church, guess who you confess your sins to? That's right, Father Leary. You walk in and say, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." You know what I say? "That's fucking great! What did you do?" "I, um, thought impure thoughts many times this week- "Fuckin' excellent! What else?" "Uh, I jerked off like five times-" "That's FUCKING great! You know what your penance is? Run across the street to that store, steal two cases of beer and a pizza, and bring it back here,' OK? 'Cause we're gonna sit around the rectory and smoke and eat pizza and drink beer and watch TV, and if we see the pope on TV, we're gonna give him the finger and make fun of his hats, OK?"
 * And you know what else? Ted Kennedy? Forgiven. Frank Gifford? Forgiven. Marv Albert? Forgiven. Al Sharpton? Forgiven. Richard Nixon? Forgiven. Bill FUCKING Buckner? Forgiven. Everybody's forgiven. Except you, O.J....fuck you. I hope your kids pull a Menendez on you, O.J., and then they'll be forgiven, ten times over. So go in peace, my friends, get the beer and the pizza and bring it back here. Because sin is in. Sin is in, and so we begin.

Other

 * That's a great story that people like to latch onto...Very quickly we got New York club owners saying, 'You guys are too alike,' while Bill and I were saying, 'What are they fucking talking about?' It's the same approach to the subject maybe, but it's not the same act...But as I've said many times, a fable is sometimes better than the truth.
 * Playboy Magazine, August 2006, responding to the claim that he had stolen material from fellow comedian Bill Hicks.

title: Denis Leary


text:
User talk:80.82.36.223

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 17:45, 5 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:80.82.36.223


text:
User:Necrosatanica

Ed Kemper I wanted to see how it felt to shoot grandma

title: User:Necrosatanica


text:
User talk:168.170.202.50

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 19:30, 5 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:168.170.202.50


text:
Talk:Igor Stravinsky

Should the last sentence of the quote that begins with "The over-publicized bit ..." read "I stand by the remark incidentally, though today..."? Can somebody please check the source on that one? Thank you.

Unsourced

 * "Doomed to total failure in a deaf world of ignorance and indifference, he inexorably kept on cutting out his diamonds, his dazzling diamonds, of whose mines he had a perfect knowledge."
 * Regarding Anton Webern

 * "Afterwards, after the concert, I heard them say: 'Too much noise'. And I wanted to ask: 'Where, exactly?'"
 * Regarding a comment made of one of his concerts

 * "Silence will save me from being wrong (and foolish), but it will also deprive me of the possibility of being right."

 * "Harpists spend 90% of their time tuning their harps and 10% playing out of tune."

 * "Music must be listened to; it is not enough to hear it. A duck hears also."

 * My childhood was a period of waiting for the moment when I could send everyone and everything connected with it to hell.

 * "Good composers don't borrow, they steal"
 * Mentioned in Duckworth, William (1999) Talking Music, Da Capo Press (ISBN 0-306-80893-5) pp.450

 * Compare:
 * Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.
 * T. S. Eliot, in Philip Massinger, in The Sacred Wood (1920)

 * "Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."

title: Talk:Igor Stravinsky


text:
Spaced

Spaced is a British television situation comedy written by and starring Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson, directed by Edgar Wright, and broadcast on Channel 4. The show concerns Tim and Daisy, two young people pretending to be a couple in order to rent a North London flat. It is notable for its almost constant dropping of pop-culture references. Two series, each of seven episodes, have been broadcast (in Autumn 1999 and Spring 2001). The first series was a nominee for Best TV Sitcom in the 1999 British Comedy Awards.

Beginnings [1.1]

 * Tim: You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese.
 * Daisy: I never said that.
 * Tim: Yeah, but it'd be good though, wouldn't it?
 * Daisy: [shrugs] I dunno.

 * [To his ex-girlfriend Sarah]
 * Tim: You can't dangle the bogus carrot of possible reconciliation in front of my face whilst riding some other... donkey.

 * Daisy: Do you want another cup of tea?
 * Tim: Ooh, no thanks, twelve's my limit.

 * Daisy: What do you do, Brian?
 * Brian: I'm an artist.
 * Tim:: [Looking up from what he was doing] I'm an artist.
 * Daisy: Oh, what kind of thing do you do?
 * Brian: Anger.
 * [Shot of Brian attacking the canvas furiously]
 * Brian: Pain.
 * [Shot of Brian pricking his finger with a needle and whimpering]
 * Brian: Fear.
 * [Shot of Brian cowering in the dark as creepy music plays]
 * Brian: Aggression.
 * [Shot of Brian violently smashing an egg with a hammer]
 * Daisy: Watercolours?
 * Brian: It's a bit more complex than that.
 * Daisy: Tim does cartoons.
 * Tim: It's a bit more complex than that.

 * Tim: [being dumped] I don't understand, just... eergh... give me a reason! You think I'm unemotional, don't you? I can be emotional! Jesus I cried like child at the end of Terminator 2... You know, with the thumb, and the molten...

 * Daisy: Do you rent downstairs?
 * Brian: D'you mean am I gay?
 * Daisy: What?
 * Brian: D'you mean am I gay?
 * Daisy: No, I meant "are you renting the downstairs flat?"
 * Brian: Oh, right. Yep, sort of.
 * Tim: Are you?
 * Brian: What?
 * Tim: Are you gay?
 * Brian: [Thoughtfully] No?

Gatherings [1.2]

 * Mike: Wanna go back into your party?
 * Tim: But they were playing 'The Time Warp'! I hate 'The Time Warp'!
 * Mike: Daisy likes it.
 * Tim: I don't care! I hate it! It's boil-in-the-bag perversion for sexually repressed accountants and first-year drama students with too many posters of Betty Blue, The Blues Brothers, Big Blue and Blue Velvet on their blue bloody walls!

 * Tim: What is this? This is rubbish! We should be listening to firm young melodies, kicking tunes, thumping bass! God I sound so stupid!

 * Brian: I'm busy Tim, painting a triptych.
 * Tim: Oh yeah what's it called?
 * Brian: Bad sandwich.
 * Tim: Really?
 * Brian: Yes.
 * Tim: Mmm.
 * Brian: It's a piece about violence in its immediacy, the instancy of the event. A synchronic rendering of three explosive, aggressive, expressions...
 * Tim: There'll be girls at the party.
 * Brian: Really?
 * Tim: Yes.
 * Brian: Mmmmm...

Art [1.3]

 * Daisy: You're up early.
 * Tim: Oh, I haven't been to bed. Me and Mike met up with these two Scottish guys in the pub and they gave us all this cheap speed.
 * Daisy: Oh Tim, that's so tacky.
 * Tim: Yeah I know, but y'know they were so nice... I think if we'd said no they'd have got offended and beaten us to death with a pool cue.

 * Daisy: Where's Mike?
 * [cuts briefly to shot of Mike running around a tree, revving an imaginary motorbike and making engine noises]
 * Tim: [shrugs and mumbles] I dunno.

 * Vulva: Abstract expressionism is so mid-to-late eighties.

 * Tim: You know when you said it went well? Well, when you said well, did you mean shite?

 * Daisy: Right, I'm going to the shops. D'you want anything?
 * Tim: Porn.
 * Daisy: Tim, I'm not going to buy you porn. You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.
 * Tim: I can't, I'm an adult. I'm supposed to leave it there.

 * Tim: LOOK! Daisy... Daisy, Daisy, Daisy... It's gonna be okay... Now have a big toke on this South-African drugs reefer style splif doobie.

 * [After practicing introducing himself in a mirror]
 * Brian: Brian. Painter. Loser. Big... fucking loser.

 * Vulva: [noticing Brian at the after-show party] Oh Brian, you came!
 * Brian: No, I just spilt my drink.

 * Vulva: I can't believe some of the shit I used to do with you!

 * Tim: [On Resident Evil] It's a subtle blend of lateral thinking and extreme violence.
 * Brian: What, like "It's A Knock Out"?

 * [After Brian has received his party invite]
 * Tim: So are you going to go?
 * Brian: I don't know. I haven't seen her for ages.
 * Tim: No. I mean, are you going to go, now?
 * Brian: Oh, yeah. [He leaves]

 * Tim: Brian's coming up.
 * Daisy: Why'd he phone?
 * Tim: I dunno, why'd he paint his arse blue last week?
 * Daisy: You don't like him, do you?
 * Tim: No, I do. I just think he's a bit pretentious.
 * [Brian enters, wearing a very loud waistcoat]
 * Brian: How do you think I look?
 * Tim: Bit pretentious?

 * Brian: Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?
 * Tim: I think you should burn it. Because if you lose it, you might find it again.

 * [Inspired by Tim's punching of Vulva]
 * Brian: Vulva turned me into a monkey! I'm not a monkey! I'm a man! A monkey... man!

 * Tim: So what happened last night then?
 * Daisy: Well we went to see an interesting piece of contemporary theatre, drank an enormous amount of free wine, ate our body-weight in Twiglets and you punched an artist in the face.
 * Tim: Shit, I'm not supposed to eat Twiglets.
 * Daisy: Why not?
 * Tim: They make me violent.

 * Tim: Where are you?
 * Mike: Uh, Sheffield.
 * Tim: What are you doing in Sheffield?
 * Mike: I fell asleep on the tube.
 * Tim: The tube doesn't go to Sheffield, Mike.
 * Mike: Yeah, I know, I, uh, must have changed at Kings Cross.
 * Tim: Alright, well don't fall asleep on the way back, ok?
 * [Mike falls asleep on the phone]
 * Tim: Mike?

 * Tim: Now come on! There's no reason to stay here any longer than necessary! Let's split up, look for survivors and get out of here!

Battles [1.4]

 * Daisy: You're so damaged; just because Sarah hurt you, you feel justified in wreaking your petty vengeance on womankind.
 * Tim: Yes... yes... and I'd do it again, I tell you, I'd do it again in an instant! [Laughs manically then jumps out of the window]

 * Brian: Can I borrow a tea-bag?
 * Tim: [sarcastically] Only if you bring it back. [pauses] You can HAVE a tea-bag, Brian, you can't borrow one.
 * Brian: What are you playing?
 * Tim: Tomb Raider 3.
 * Brian: She's drowning.
 * Tim: Yeah.
 * Brian: Is that the point of the game?
 * Tim: Depends what mood you're in really.
 * Brian: What sort of mood are you in then?
 * Tim: Well, I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend this morning, 3 months too late, explaining why she dumped me. It was full of 'you'll always be special' and 'I'll always love you' platitudes designed to make me feel better whilst simultaneously appeasing her deep seated sense of guilt for dumping me, running off with a slimy little city boy called Duane and destroying my faith in everything which is good and pure.
 * Brian: So it didn't really work then.
 * Tim: No, it made me wanna drown things! [turns around, sees Brian dressed as a painting] You've got paint on you.
 * Brian: It's a literal tribute to the self reflexivity of Rembrandt.
 * Tim: Did he like it?
 * Brian: He's dead.
 * Tim: Bloody hell, that really backfired.

 * Daisy: C'mon, Colin! We're taking you away from this place.
 * Twist: Colin?
 * Daisy: That's what I called my box.

 * Paintball player: Gosh, this is so exciting!
 * Mike: This your first time, kid?
 * Paintball player: I'm thirty-six.
 * Mike: This your first time, old man?
 * Paintball player: Yeah. I've always fancied myself as a bit of a soldier.
 * Tim: Yeah, I've always fancied myself.
 * Mike: I've always fancied you...
 * Tim: [quickly] Not here!
 * Paintball player: You've done this before, then?
 * Mike: You could say that.
 * Paintball player: What do you mean?
 * Mike: Well, let's just say the last time I was in this situation, I wasn't using a paintball gun.
 * Paintball player: [in awe] You've seen combat?
 * Mike: Yes, yes I have.
 * Paintball player: Where?
 * Mike: Umm, on the television!
 * Paintball player: But you just said the last time you were in this situation you didn't use a paintball gun!
 * Tim: He didn't.
 * Paintball player: Well, what did you use?
 * Mike: Erm, it was a big stick...?

 * [About Duane]
 * Tim: He's made this personal.
 * Mike: I thought he made it personal when he slept with your girlfriend.
 * Tim: Well, he's made it more personal.
 * Mike: I don't think it gets much more personal than sleeping with your girlfriend, Tim.

 * Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
 * Tim: Yeah, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain and the other one's war.

 * Duane: See, Tim, that's the difference between you and I. Organization. Careful thinking. Forward planning. And that is why I sleep in the arms of a beautiful woman and you spend your evenings alone in your bedsit. With cheap porn.
 * Tim: It's not a bedsit. It's a flat. [Shoots Duane in the groin] Yes! [Turns and sees Mike on the ground] No Mike! Mike! Oh Jesus no! [Mike throws up paint out of his mouth] MEDIC!
 * Mike: Is that you Tim?
 * Tim: Yeah I'm here, man; just hold on, hold on!
 * Mike: I'm tired, Tim.
 * Tim: Just err... everything's going to be fine I promised. [Cries] I'm sorry I said those things, I just... wasn't thinking straight.
 * Mike: I can say some pretty stupid things myself sometimes.
 * Tim: No, Mike, I'm the stupid one. I've always been the stupid one. [Mike smiles] What are you laughing at?
 * Mike: I guess I got to be the hero after all.
 * Tim: Yeah, I guess you did.
 * Mike: I've gotta— I've gotta sleep.
 * Tim: No no, Mike, stay with me.
 * Mike: So tired, so tired. Goodbye old friend.
 * Tim: No, Mike! [Mike appears to die from his paintball injuries] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 * Brian: So where is he then? The little dog? [Daisy squeaks and points at Brian] The headband, isn't it? Makes me look stupid?
 * Daisy: [whimpering] Colin...!
 * Brian: ...No, Daisy, it's me, Brian...
 * Daisy: I think you're sitting on my dog....

Chaos [1.5]

 * Daisy: In the end, our relationship was just like a sandwich toaster. You know, you just forget you've got one. And it just sits there on the top of the cupboard collecting a layer of greasy fudge. And even if you do see it you just assume it's broken, you think if it's working I'd be using it all the time, but you don't and it just sits there. Then one day, you get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches, you know? And you get it down and it works, and you can't believe it, you know? And then you make every kind of toasted sandwich there is, you have toasted sandwich parties. You make Marmite and cheese, chocolate and...
 * Tim: Pilchards.
 * Daisy: Banana and...
 * Bilbo: Acorns.
 * Daisy: Acorns. And then as quickly as the desire comes, it just goes. And then you put the toasted sandwich maker away. And, you know what?
 * Tim: What?
 * Daisy: You don't miss it.
 * Bilbo: So what you're saying is 'Don't hide the toasted sandwich maker away, use him regularly and you'll get the most out of him.'
 * Tim: No, she's saying 'Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich.'

 * Mike: When friends are concerned, sacrifices have to be made.
 * Tim: You mean we kill the dog?
 * Mike: [whilst nodding] No...
 * Tim: Spoil sport.

 * [About Colin the dog.]
 * Daisy: How can you not like him? He's so cute. Aw...
 * Tim: Yeah, that's how it all starts, with oohs and ahs, but later there's barking and biting! He's a ticking timebomb of death, Daisy. You give him all the love in the world and spend years of your life doting on his little furry head, and then one day you get back from aerobics and there he is, panting over the half eaten remains of some hapless handyman you left fixing the tumble dryer.
 * Daisy: We don't have a tumble dryer.
 * Tim: You will, my friend. You will.
 * Daisy: Look, Tim, I know that I've been insensitive, and I do appreciate that you are riddled with deep seated psychological disorders—
 * Tim: Thank you.

 * [After an original Star Wars trilogy marathon]
 * Tim: You know, Brian, everything that happened in those movies can be attributed to the actions of one man.
 * Brian: Who?
 * Tim: The gunner on the Star Destroyer in the first film.
 * Brian: What d'you mean?
 * Tim: [chuckles in a knowing way] Well, if he'd shot the pod with Artoo and Threepio in, they wouldn't have made it to Tatooine, they wouldn't have met Luke, Luke wouldn't have met Ben, they wouldn't have met Han and Chewie, they wouldn't have saved Princess Leia, none of it would have happened.
 * Brian: Chaos theory...
 * Tim: Eh?
 * Brian: The predictability of random events. The notion that reality as we know it—past, present, future—is in fact a mathematically predictable preordained system.
 * Daisy: So somewhere out there in the vastness of the unknown is an... equation... for predicting the future?
 * Brian: An equation so complex as to utterly defy any possibility of comprehension by even the most brilliant human mind, but an equation nonetheless.
 * Tim: [In dawning realization] Oh my god...
 * Brian: What?
 * Daisy: What?
 * Tim: I've got some fucking Jaffa Cakes in my coat pocket. [They all cheer; Tim sings] "Oh Mummy, oh Daddy, let's all play kabaddi."

 * Tim: Mike, I'll see you back here at twenty-two hundred hours. Everyone else, I'll see you back here at ten.

 * [Assigning code names]
 * Tim: Mike, you're Luke. Brian, you're Chewie. Daisy, you're Leia. Twist, you're...Jabba.
 * Twist: Is Jabba the princess?
 * Everyone: Yes.

Epiphanies [1.6]

 * [Tim speaks to Mike on the phone]
 * Tim: What you doing playing Army on a Sunday morning, you're missing Grange Hill!
 * Mike: The T.A is no game Tim!
 * Tim: It isn't the T.A Mike, it's the Rough Ramblers.
 * Mike: You're a civilian, you don't understand. You're thinking, "It's Sunday. I'd rather be in bed."
 * Tim: Yeah, and you're thinking, "It's Sunday. I'd rather be in Apocalypse Now."
 * [Mike blows a bird whistle]
 * Tim: That's easy for you to say. What you doing later on?
 * Mike: It's classified.
 * Tim: Well, why don't you come round? Look, I'm bored.
 * Mike: I can't. Combat canoeing. I'm going to do an Eskimo Roll with a two stone rucksack in my bag, along with a loaded rifle.
 * Tim: They don't have rifles in the Rough Ramblers Mike.
 * Mike: Hand grenades?
 * Tim: No!
 * Mike: Anthrax?
 * Tim: Mike!
 * Mike: Listen Tim. I Gotta go. Looks like we're moving out. Roger. Bravo. Tango. Alpha!
 * [Mike puts the phone down, and sees some kids carrying a canoe over]
 * Kid: Come on, Mike!
 * [Mike gives the kids a thumbs up]

 * [Tim opens the door and sees Mike]
 * Tim: How is she?
 * Mike: The fibreglass on the outer casing was severely damaged in the incident.
 * Tim: What happened?
 * Mike: Showing off Tim, I had 15 rocks in my rucksack, instead of the regulation 5. I knew something was wrong when I got her in the water, she was sitting so low, so low. But I didn't stop Tim, 15 rocks in my rucksack and everyone knew it.
 * Tim: So what happened when you rolled?
 * Mike: I lost control of the vessel 2 feet from the shore. When I struggled to right her, I banged it into the jetty, damaging the canoe's carcass.
 * [Tim nods and listens on]
 * Mike: The "Ramble" Leader, had to dive in and rescue me from beneath the canoe.
 * Tim: So it wasn't so much an Eskimo roll, it was more of a case of rolling right Inuit.
 * [Mike stares, confused]
 * Tim: Inuit's another word for Eskimo!
 * Mike:[Mike sobs] I've been thrown out Tim. The Rough Ramblers don't want me anymore!
 * Tim: [Tries to comfort Mike] Come on. Come on. Come on.
 * Mike: (I've gotta) face it Tim, I'm not the big man, not the leader. Noone's ever gonna look up to me. I feel like a failure.
 * Tim: You're not a failure, Mike, you're not! You're too good for them, they're not ready for you, You're a renegade, you're a soldier of fortune.
 * Mike: Like the A-Team.
 * Tim: Yeah, you're like Mr. T. but white and hairy. And I feel sorry for anyone who says you're not.
 * Mike: I pity the fool.
 * Tim: I pity the fool.
 * Mike: [Mr. T voice] I ain't goin' on no plane, sucka!
 * Tim: [irritable] Stop that.

 * [Preparing to go out clubbing]
 * Mike: I had to dress up as an elderly Israeli woman once.
 * Tim: Really?
 * Mike: I didn't have to.
 * Tim: We should talk.

 * Tyres: Last night was an A-1, tip top clubbing jam fair. It was a sandwich of fun on ecstasy bread, wrapped up in a big bag like disco fudge. It doesn't get much better than that, I just wish sometimes I could control these FOCKING MOOD SWINGS! [calmer] So what did youse two 'friends' do last night?
 * Daisy: We just stayed in, didn't we, had a laugh, played Scrabble.

 * Tim: We're going to a club later on, do you wanna come out?
 * Brian: (through the door) Don't go to clubs.
 * Tim: Come on, Brian, what d'you mean you don't go to clubs?
 * Brian: [peeks out] I'm working, Tim. Working. D'you understand.
 * Tim: No...
 * Brian: Trying to....avoid...cliches...by not actually placing my brush on the canvas.
 * Tim: Right...
 * Brian: I'm using my penis.
 * Tim: Finally.
 * Brian: D'you want to see?
 * Tim: No, just about to have my tea...

Ends [1.7]

 * [About the possibility of getting back with his old girlfriend]
 * Tim Bisley: This is something that I've always wanted! You have things you want, you're always going on about going to Asia and seeing the Taj Mahal.
 * Daisy Steiner: I do want to go to Asia! I do want to see the Taj Mahal! The difference is, the Taj Mahal didn't sleep with it's boss behind my back and break my heart!
 * Tim Bisley: Yeah, well... it might if you go to Asia!

 * [Dropping Mike off for his interview with the Territorial Army]
 * Mike: Aren't you coming in with me?
 * Tim: I'm not your dad, Mike! [Hands him a lunch box] Here's your sandwiches. I'll pick you up at five.

 * [Before his meeting with the TA officials]
 * Mike: [Thinking] I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andie MacDowell - ohhh...

 * Mike: In 1994 while on weekend manoeuvres in France, I commandeered a Chieftain tank without the permission of my immediate superiors. I then attempted to invade Paris. However, en route I stopped off at Disneyland Paris, or Eurodisney as it was then called, and was subsequently apprehended on Space Mountain.
 * TA Officer: Do you have any explanation as to why you might have done this?
 * Mike: Well sir, at the time, I was suffering from serious emotional problems that had clearly affected my judgement. I had immersed myself in a fantasy world of my own creation and as a result I became very insular and uncommunicative.
 * TA Officer: Why do you think that was?
 * Mike: [Shrugs] I dunno.

 * [Mike is undertaking a Rorschach ink test; the first card is very obviously a couple making love]
 * Mike: War.
 * TA Officer: [Holding the next card] This one?
 * Mike: Bomb.
 * TA Officer: [Next card] This one?
 * Mike: Guts.
 * [Next card]
 * Mike: Guns.
 * [Next card]
 * Mike: Guts and guns.
 * [Next card]
 * Mike: [Happily] Butterfly.
 * [The TA Officer frowns]
 * Mike: [Realizes] Butterfly with a bomb.

 * TA Officer: Finally, Mr Watt, how does this make you feel?
 * [He throws Mike an sheathed military knife; Mike expertly grabs and unsheaths it]
 * Mike: [Grins happily] Nice.
 * TA Officer: Welcome back, Mike.

 * [About ending his relationship with Sarah]
 * Tim: I just had a moment of clarity, you know, I woke up. It's like... you know when you have an orgasm on your own? [Daisy looks increasingly disgusted and uncertain during the following:] You know, you're sort of lying on the sofa watching some porn movie you bought on a drunken lonely night in Soho, and you're lying there and everything's going really great, you're getting totally turned on by these absurdly graphic images, everything seems so right, and suddenly - phht! Bingo! You wake up. And you're lying there sweating, desperately looking for the tissue which you know is still in your pocket, and the remote control which is somewhere on the floor, and it's like walking in on yourself, you know? It's just like "What're you doing?" That's how I felt tonight feeling my heart miss a beat everytime the door opened. "What the fuck are you doing?"
 * Daisy: Well, that's... love, isn't it? Load of old wank.

 * Tim: Life just isn't like the movies is it? We're constantly led to believe in resolution in the establishment of the ideal status quo, and it's just not true. Happy endings are a myth. Designed to make us feel better about the fact that life is just a thankless struggle.
 * [The pub band starts playing 'Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby?']
 * Tim: Do you wanna dance?
 * Daisy: You know what? I think I do.
 * [They dance happily]

 * [About getting back with Sarah]
 * Daisy: What do you mean, you have a "funny feeling"?
 * Tim: I can read her like a book.
 * Daisy: Never judge a book by its cover.
 * Tim: He who dares, wins.
 * Daisy: Look before you leap.
 * Tim: Do you believe in life after love?
 * Daisy: That's a song.
 * Tim: ...shit.

Back [2.1]

 * Tim: [on Twist] I haven't actually figured her out just yet. She's either sweet and stupid or an evil genius.

 * Tim: '[in voiceover]'' Marsha's our landlady and as far as she's concerned, Daisy and me are a professional couple, but that's not really important. Anyway, she's lovely.
 * Marsha: FUCK OFF!

 * Agent: Daisy Steiner?
 * Brian: Yes...
 * Agent: Are you Daisy Steiner?
 * Brian: No...
 * Agent: Do you know where she is?
 * Brian: ...No.
 * Agent: Do you know where she is?
 * Brian: Why?
 * Agent: Miss Steiner is under suspicion of bringing a bag containing sensitive materials into the country.
 * Brian: Sensitive...
 * Agent: Can you tell us where she is, Mr. Topp?
 * Brian: ...How d'you know my name?
 * Agent: It's written on the doorbell.
 * Brian: ...Oh yeah.
 * Agent: Where is she, Brian?
 * Brian: Brian isn't on the door bell...

 * Brian: They arrived just before you did...
 * Tim: You Lando!

 * Mike: I'm off to point the pink pistol at the porcelain firing range.

 * Mike: Note to self: Shoot first, quip later.

 * Agent: Don't even think about leaving the country.
 * Daisy: I won't... I can't afford it.

Change [2.2]

 * [Amber has woken everyone up screaming and throwing things out the window]
 * Daisy: I'm sorry!
 * Mike: I'm hit!
 * Brian: I'M BLIND!
 * Tim: Buffy...?

 * [To a Star Wars: The Phantom Menace fan]
 * Tim: You are so blind! You so do not understand! You weren't there at the beginning. You don't know how good it was! How important! This is it for you! This jumped-up firework display of a toy advert! People like you make me sick! What's wrong with you?! Now, I don't care if you've saved up all your 50ps, take your pocket money, and GET OUT!
 * [The little boy runs out, crying]
 * Tim: What a prick.

 * Bilbo Bagshot: I was like you once. Blonde hair. Scraggly little beard. Childlike ears. Full of beans, and spunk. I let my principles get in the way of things. I punched a bloke in the face once for saying Hawk the Slayer was rubbish.
 * Tim: Good for you.
 * Bilbo Bagshot: Yeah, thanks. But that's not the point, Tim. The point is I was defending the fantasy genre with terminal intensity, when what I should have said was "Dad, you're right - but let's give Krull a try, and we'll discuss it later." [pause] The Phantom Menace was eighteen months ago, Tim!
 * Tim: I know Bilbo, but... it still hurts, you know? I mean, that kid wanted a Jar Jar doll!
 * Bilbo: Kids like Jar Jar!
 * Tim: Why?
 * Bilbo Bagshot: What about the Ewoks eh? They were rubbish! You don't complain about them!
 * Tim: Yeah but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like... fuckin'... Shaft!

 * DSS Woman: How long have you been unemployed, Mr Bisley?
 * Tim: [checks watch] About an hour and a half.
 * DSS Woman: Have you been looking for work?
 * Tim: [laughs, then sees she's serious] Um, no.
 * DSS Woman: Why did you leave your last job?
 * Tim: Got fired.
 * DSS Woman: Why?
 * Tim: [nonchalantly] Uh, a difference of opinion...
 * DSS Woman: The Phantom Menace?
 * Tim: [pauses, then, surprised] Yeah...
 * DSS Woman: Didn't you like it?
 * Tim: [cautiously] No...
 * DSS Woman: Well, [taps nose conspiratorially] you leave this with me. I'll get you some money out in the next few days.

 * Twist: So, don't forget to wash your sheets...
 * Brian: Right.
 * Twist: ...and your penis.
 * Brian: Okay.

 * Daisy: What are we going to do? You're unemployed. I've got no money coming in. How am I going to afford aspirational magazines?!

 * [After Tim has found a new job in a rival comic shop; Bilbo has come in]
 * Bilbo: [Sniffy] He should store his special editions behind the counter, not hide them away at the back of the shop. Man's insane.

 * Bilbo: [Stand-offish] What's Derek like as a boss?
 * Tim: [Stand-offish] He's okay. Don't fully agree with his policy on vintage comic display.
 * [Pause]
 * Bilbo: [Desperate] Look, Tim, I'm sorry I fired you. It was a mistake! Will you come back?
 * Tim: Oh, why? Things not working out with the new guy?
 * Bilbo: [Sheepish] You could say that.
 * [Flash cut to Bilbo's shop]
 * Tim's Replacement: Hawk the Slayer's rubbish!
 * [Bilbo punches him; cut back to the rival comic shop]
 * Tim: [Stand-offish] I see.
 * Bilbo: Will you come back?
 * Tim: Well, I like it here, Bilbo. What makes you think I want to come back?
 * Bilbo: This.
 * [Bilbo produces an answering machine from nowhere and presses play]
 * Tim: [On machine; sobbing] Look, B-Bilbo, t-this is Tim. Please can I come back?! I don't like it here!
 * Tim: [Sheepish] You got that, did you?
 * Bilbo: I would have come in anyway. The place just isn't the same without you there.
 * Tim: [Warmly] I'm already there.
 * Bilbo: [Alarmed] What?!
 * Tim: I mean I'll come back.
 * Bilbo: Oh, right. Frightened me for a moment there.

 * [Tim wants to get fired from his new job]
 * Tim: Derek? Babylon 5's a big pile of shit.
 * Derek: Get out!!
 * Bilbo and Tim: [Joyfully] Hooray!

 * Tim: I got me job back.
 * Tim and Mike: [Joyfully] Ayyyeee!
 * Mike: I got me own room.
 * Tim and Mike: [Joyfully] Ayyyeee!
 * Tim: Where's Brian?
 * Mike: He's standing in the garden with no clothes on.
 * Tim and Mike: [Joyfully] Ayyyeee!

Mettle [2.3]

 * Dexter: Have you thought any more about that rematch, Michael?
 * Mike: Yes and no.
 * Dexter: What does that mean?
 * Tim: It means 'yes, he's thought about it' and 'no, he doesn't want one'. [To Mike] Doesn't it?
 * Mike: Yes.
 * Dexter: So that's a 'no', is it?
 * Tim and Mike: [Momentarily uncertain] ... Yes.

 * Daisy: What does "T.F.U" stand for?
 * Tim: Uh... The Fuckest Upest.

 * [Daisy pretending to be Philippa Forrester to interview Tim]
 * Daisy: This is a very large machine Tim. Take you long?
 * Tim: No, not really.
 * Daisy: Hm, fast worker?
 * Tim: Well why don't you come on back to my flat and we'll find out.
 * Daisy: I think you've already answered my question [laughs].
 * Tim: So you like my robot then.
 * Daisy: I love it. [gasp] What's this?
 * Tim: It's an axe. Feel the weight.
 * [Daisy lifts the axe. Both draw in a breath.]
 * Daisy: There's nothing more devastating than a big chopper.
 * Tim: Shhh...[places a finger over Daisy's lips] Don't cheapen this. [moves the hair from her face]
 * [Daisy and Tim move closer, apparently about to kiss, when Mike opens the front door.]
 * Mike: [suspicious] What's going on?
 * Tim: Uh, I was just coming - to the pub, with you.
 * Mike: Yeah, I think we should take the Private down to the shed.
 * [Mike goes to another room.]
 * Daisy: Hmm, what's up with Mike?
 * Tim: Nothing, he just, he usually likes to be Philippa.

 * [Talking about the robot's axe, both covered in plasters and bruises]
 * Tim: I think we should lose the axe.
 * Mike: I like the axe.
 * Tim: I like my face.
 * Mike: I like your face.
 * Tim: Let's keep the axe.

 * [Trying to figure out who destroyed 'Private Iron']
 * Tim: I think I can guess.
 * Mike: This isn't the work of amateurs, Tim. Private Iron was taken apart by someone who knew what they were doing.
 * Tim: Right, and what happens now?
 * Mike: Well, if we can't fix him in time, we're automatically disqualified. Runners-up go through.
 * Tim: And they are?
 * Mike: [Gasps, as if realizing] Dexter and Cromwell!
 * Tim: Right.
 * Mike: ... So who did this?
 * Tim: They did!

 * [After having smashed Tim and Mike's robot]
 * Dexter: Ah, Michael. Heard about your robot. Crying shame.
 * Tim: What do you mean, 'crying shame'? You did it, you... fucking plum.

 * Robot Club Leader: Gentlemen, welcome to Robot Club. The first rule of Robot Club is, you do not talk about about Robot Club. The second rule of Robot Club is, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT Ro… wait, I… got that wrong. [Unfolding a crumpled up piece of paper and pushing up his glasses] The second rule is, no smoking.
 * Tim: Why aren't we allowed to smoke?
 * Mike: We're not allowed to talk about it.

Help [2.4]

 * Tim: Could you go and tell Mike that I need him, please?
 * Daisy: What for?
 * Tim: No reason, I just... I need him.

 * Daisy: [To Mike working out with Marsha] Tim wants you.
 * Mike: Does he want me or need me?
 * Daisy: Needs you.
 * Mike: Ok then.

 * Tim: You ready, Mike?
 * Mike: I was born ready, Timmy.
 * Tim: Yeah, but are you ready now?
 * Mike: Ummm... yeah.

 * [After Sophie has recovered Tim's unflattering portrait of Damien Knox, thus saving his job interview]
 * Tim: How are you, Sophie?
 * Sophie: Fine thanks.
 * Tim: [Playing it cool] Good. Forgot you worked here.
 * Sophie: Really? [Places down another, extremely flattering, portrait of Sophie, surrounded by a love heart]
 * [Tim giggles nervously]
 * Mike: [Via walkie-talkie] Tim! That girl you fancy's coming into the office!
 * Tim: [Into walkie-talkie, sheepishly] Thanks, Mike.

 * Tyres: Are we happy?
 * Tim:Are we happy.
 * Tyres: Excellent. Mine's a pint of the black stuff.
 * Mike: (scoffs) You can't drink a pint of Bovril.

Gone [2.5]

 * Mike: Right, I'm off for a night of running about in the dark with a gun, so you've got to stay here and be good for your Uncle Michael. [To Colin, while polishing his glasses] Settle down, relax and get comfy, because you my friend... are going nowhere. [Looks down to see that Colin is gone; in a whimpering tone:] Oh, bollocks!

 * [On realizing who Duane is]
 * Daisy: You're Duane. The Duane Duane.
 * Duane Benzie: Duane Benzie.
 * Daisy: The Duane Benzie that... [Whistles]
 * Tim: Stole my girlfriend.
 * Duane Benzie: Well, that depends on which way you look at it.
 * Daisy: I think that Tim looks at it that way.
 * Tim: Yes, I do.

 * Duane Benzie: I haven't seen you since...
 * Tim: Yeah, well. No hard feelings, eh?
 * Duane Benzie: You shot me in the bollocks, Tim.
 * Tim: Like I said. No hard feelings.

 * [Having stolen Tim's house keys]
 * Duane Benzie: At last, I will emerge as the victor. At last, I will have... revenge.

 * Romford Thug: This ain't grass.
 * Romford Thug Leader: What?
 * Romford Thug: It's oregano.
 * Romford Thug Leader: How can you tell?
 * Romford Thug: I'm a catering student.

 * [After crashing with the Romford thugs]
 * Duane Benzie: [To the leader] You bloody idiot! Have you any idea how much this car cost? Why don't you piss off back to Romford where you belong. You little prick! Eh?  Eh?
 * [He turns; the others have sneaked up behind him, like the Raptors in Jurassic Park.]
 * Duane Benzie: [Darkly] Clever boys.
 * [The thugs give Duane a good kicking]

Leaves [2.7]

 * [Tim, Mike and Brian are trying to persuade Marsha not to sell the house]
 * Tim: Okay, listen. When we get there, let me do the talking, okay? I am the only one here capable of serious communication. [Instantly regretful] Sorry, sorry! That sounded bad. I didn't mean to suggest that you're not good communicators, okay Mike?
 * [Mike grunts non-verbally]
 * Tim: Brian?
 * [Brian whimpers non-verbally]

 * Tim: Marsha, they say the family of the twenty-first century is made up of friends, not relatives. If that's true, then you're the best auntie I've ever had.

 * Tim: Aren't you going to ask us how it went?
 * Daisy: How did it go?
 * Tim: Really badly.

 * Daisy: Colin's gone.
 * Tim: What?
 * Daisy: He went next door.
 * Tim: Oh, Daisy, I'm so sorry. How did it happen?
 * Daisy: [Bemused]... He walked.
 * Tim: Right, right, sorry. See, my mum used to use "going next door" as a euphemism for being dead.
 * Mike: Whoa, hold on, does that mean my rabbit's dead?
 * Tim: It's been eighteen years, Mike, where did you think he was?
 * Mike: [whimpers] Next door!

Skip To The End
[NOTE: Although 'Skip To The End' was primarily a factually-based documentary concerning the making of and influence of Spaced, it did contain a brief 'epilogue' to the series with Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson in character]

 * [Daisy exits the house; Tim follows her a moment later with a baby in his arms]
 * Tim: I think she's filled her nappy again. Will you change her?
 * Daisy: I made the tea!
 * Tim: I went to the shop!
 * Daisy: I was in labour for fifteen hours!
 * Tim: You win!
 * [They kiss]
 * Tim: Love you.
 * Daisy: I know.
 * [They turn to go back inside]
 * Tim: Come on, Luke.
 * Daisy: Tim, we're not calling her 'Luke'.

title: Spaced


text:
Talk:Jonathan Davis

i'm here to use words but what about my feelings? are they made of words? would you know how i feel?

title: Talk:Jonathan Davis


text:
User talk:208.60.220.34

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 21:08, 5 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:208.60.220.34


text:
User talk:24.147.132.129

~ Kalki 23:06, 5 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:24.147.132.129


text: User:Kernigh

title: User:Kernigh


text:
User talk:Kernigh

Do we have NetHack yet? --Kernigh 02:02, 27 April 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:Kernigh


text:
Talk:Erwin Rommel

Moved a quote from "Attributed" to "Sourced" as I found it in his book. If the explanation is too long, remove. ~ 16:21, March 6, 2006

Unsourced

 * Men are basically smart or dumb and lazy or ambitious. The dumb and ambitious ones are dangerous and I get rid of them. The dumb and lazy ones I give mundane duties. The smart ambitious ones I put on my staff. The smart and lazy ones I make my commanders.

 * Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.
 * This is more often attributed to George S. Patton.

 * Give me the Maori Battalion and I will conquer the world.
 * Said by Rommel to Adolf Hitler. Battle of Tobruk
 * Not Rommel - https://www.odt.co.nz/news/education/28th-maori-battalion  -- General Westphal, Rommel's chief of staff

 * I would be rather more happy had he given me one more division.
 * Comment after Hitler made him a Field Marshal

 * In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it.

 * Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, and brains save both. ~
 * I would rather be the hammer than the anvil.

 * The future battle on the ground will be preceded by battle in the air. This will determine which of the contestants has to suffer operational and tactical disadvantages and be forced throughout the battle into adopting compromise solutions.

 * There are always times where the place of a commander isn't back with his Major State, but onward with his troops.

 * For the Allies and Germany it will be the longest day. The longest day.
 * Referred to D-Day in Normandy.

 * I didn't die nor win.
 * Referred to the order "either win or die trying!" of Hitler during the retreat of the campaigning in North Africa.

 * For me, soldiers are all equal. Those black people wore your same uniform, fought on your side, and so you will be in the same jail.
 * Said to a captured South African white officer that asked to be put in a different jail from the one with black soldiers.

 * Dialogue with Italian general Barbasetti at Capuzzo. Barbassetti: "it was very painful the sacrifice of the X Army Corps abandoned in the desert"; Rommel: "is this a critic? no disapproval words have come from the Fuhrer"; Barbassetti: "I watched the endless column of retreating companies, German drivers rejected to pick up on their trucks the Italians". After these words Rommel silenced.

 * If I had to take hell, I would use the Australians to take it and the New Zealanders to hold it.
 * Said about the Australians and New Zealanders after facing an Australian-New Zealand infantry division in North Africa

 * If I'd had one division of Australians, I would have taken the canal in a week. If I'd had three, I'd have taken The world.

Siege at Jadotville

 * In this film, Rommel is credited by both a French and Irish soldier with the following saying: "No plan survives contact with the enemy". Not sure if anyone wants to follow up on that. Hanoi Road (talk) 19:44, 24 June 2020 (UTC)

title: Talk:Erwin Rommel


text:
Ralph Bakshi

Ralph Bakshi (born October 29, 1938, in Haifa, Palestine (now Israel) is an American cartoonist and a director of animation and occasionally live-action films. He directed cult classics such as Fritz the Cat, Heavy Traffic, Coonskin, and Wizards, as well as the more commercially accepted 1978 animated film version of The Lord of the Rings.

Sourced

 * Sweetheart, I'm the biggest ripped-off cartoonist in the history of the world, and that's all I'm going to say.

 * Four guys could get together and make their own movie, in a year, but nobody does it 'cause they got bills to pay. What I'm saying is, that's what I would do, if I was young. I wouldn't even get a job. I'd get a couple of computers and a bunch of guys, we'd eat crap for a year, millionaires the next year if we did a good film. It's so extraordinary. Instead of crying about getting a job at Disney or "things are falling apart", things the old animators were doing when I was a kid, "it's all crumbling!" It's not crumbling, you're crumbling! You got these computers that could do this stuff for nothing! What do you do with it? You try to get a job for some asshole studio. It's so dumb.

 * When I had my own company on Traffic and Coonskin, all metaphors were able to get to the screen clearly. In Cool World, with the producer and Paramount watching me carefully to make sure I was in good taste, I instinctively poured stuff into the picture that I wanted to talk about. But when you force stuff, it's not really very clear. But, I have a great love for Max Fleischer, especially some of his Black & White Betty Boops with their strange Cab Calloway and Louis Armstrong black folk tale jazz hipness that part of Cool World was a homage in style to those films and that style of cartooning. The Grim Reaper is right out of a Max Fleischer cartoon or old Terrytoons, which is why I hired and love Milton Knight the artist. He understands totally the Uncle Remus fable like qualities behind Fleischer and Terrytoons. Milton Knight is probably the purest artist of that style in the business. He has a hard time because studios think he is old fashioned...but that's the point.

 * Did I have a responsibility to discuss issues? Absolutely. Bobby Dylan was discussing issues – Disney wasn’t.
 *

 * Wizards was about the creation of the state of Israel and the Holocaust, about the Jews looking for a homeland, and about the fact that fascism was on the rise again, I thought. That was way before the Right Wing made their appearance again, and I felt that things were shifting back. So on that level, Wizards was a very personal film.
 * Sick of Hollywood, tired of fighting and selling out as an artist. I don't believe anyone should do the same thing for the rest of his life. We get a very short time on this planet. Challenging oneself is very important. It's not that I couldn't make other great animated films, but I'd done what I wanted to do, which was make animation an adult medium, if one wanted it to be. And I'd proven to myself that it could work, and it was time to move on to something else. When I sell a painting, I get very excited. I need one person to like what I do, not a million. It's a different structure here. Plus the Hollywood thing. I mean, Hollywood is no place to grow up, no place to live. It's no place to have any friends, no place to enjoy life. It's a disgusting, horrible, craze-driven town. It's only how much do you make, or how fancy a car you have, that determines your status there. And everyone's lying so much that they don't even know they're lying anymore. There's no reality to Hollywood. The fees they pay directors are obnoxious, the money they spend on movies could feed entire starving African... I mean, fuck 'em. I made a few bucks and got out. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with those people. They're disgusting people, and you can quote me on that. There's a lot of great talent there, but it's no place I wanted to spend much time. I'd rather spend time with Rembrandt and Goya at home. They're better company than those schmucks who never read Lord Of The Rings.
 *

title: Ralph Bakshi


text:
Talk:Ralph Bakshi

No date birth/death, quotation marks in quotations, sourced quotations have no source, no wp box in external links ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 04:19, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

Unsourced

 * I think it's impossible to do Tolkien. It's impossible to get the brilliance of what he wrote about -- just the medium, the book, the novel gives you other areas of imagination (that) film can't allow. Film has to describe and show. With the brilliance of his words and his scenes, you imagine whatever you want. I'm sure various people imagine different things.
 * Ralph Bakshi Biography, Internet Movie Database; original source unidentified, date unidentified

 * The original concept [of Cool World], way back when I sold the film, was that a live action cartoonist would go to bed with a cartoon woman in the cartoon world. They had a child immediately that was a strange combination of live action and animation in one character. This son of the underground cartoonist hates himself for what he is and isn't and goes back to the real world to track his father down. The picture was originally an R rated horror film. Slash and the rest of the characters in Cool World were just friends of Holli and looked nothing like their child.
 * Ralph Bakshi Biography, Internet Movie Database; original source unidentified, date unidentified

 * They say I'm a revolutionary, but they're all wrong. I just seem like one because everyone else is so square and safe. Most artists just reinterpret, reinterpret, 'einterpret! They've all sold out to make a buck. Money is not my thing, and that's why I'm probably fucked. I'm more interested in doing the best I can to tell a story. As an artist, I want to interpret my feelings--not run across the street and ask what my mother thinks. I draw what I feel, which is no more than doing my job.

title: Talk:Ralph Bakshi


text:
User talk:69.134.160.186

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 04:49, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:69.134.160.186


text:
Talk:Adaptation (film)

dialogue: speakers not bolded, full-rule rather than half-rule, wp box in wrong place, no cast section, no intro. ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 04:53, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

title: Talk:Adaptation (film)


text:
User talk:132.231.1.202

Hi. Misquotations belong on wikiquote, just add a small note under the quotation regarding the misquotation's circumstances. Thanks ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 04:55, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:132.231.1.202


text:
User talk:Sibleydc~enwikiquote

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 04:55, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Sibleydc. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Sibleydc~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:34, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:57, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Sibleydc~enwikiquote