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Linus Torvalds

Linus Benedict Torvalds (born 28 December 1969) is a Finnish-American computer programmer, best known as the creator of the Linux kernel.

1991–94

 * I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones.
 * This was the launch of Linux.

 * Do you pine for the nice days of minix-1.1, when men were men and wrote their own device drivers? […] I can (well, almost) hear you asking yourselves "why?". Hurd will be out in a year (or two, or next month, who knows), and I've already got minix.
 * , announcing Linux version 0.02. The Hurd 0.0 was released in August 1996 and as of 2015, is still not complete.

 * Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse for some of the brain-damages of Minix.
 * To Andrew Tanenbaum (author of Minix) during the Tanenbaum-Torvalds debate.

 * Portability is for people who cannot write new programs.
 * According to Torvalds, this was "tongue in cheek" (Ibid.)

 * Well, with a subject like this, I'm afraid I'll have to reply. Apologies to minix-users who have heard enough about linux anyway. I'd like to be able to just "ignore the bait", but … time for some serious flamefesting!

 * Well, I probably won't get too good grades even without you: I had an argument (completely unrelated – not even pertaining to OS's) with the person here at the university that teaches OS design. I wonder when I'll learn :)

 * No. That's it. The cool name, that is. We worked very hard on creating a name that would appeal to the majority of people, and it certainly paid off: thousands of people are using linux just to be able to say "OS/2? Hah. I've got Linux. What a cool name". 386BSD made the mistake of putting a lot of numbers and weird abbreviations into the name, and is scaring away a lot of people just because it sounds too technical.

1995–99

 * When you say, "I wrote a program that crashed Windows," people just stare at you blankly and say, "Hey, I got those with the system, for free."

 * If you need more than 3 levels of indentation, you're screwed anyway, and should fix your program.

 * You know you're brilliant, but maybe you'd like to understand what you did 2 weeks from now.

 * An infinite number of monkeys typing into GNU emacs would never make a good program.

 * It's a bird … it's a plane … no, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue. Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat …

 * The main reason there are no raw devices [in Linux] is that I personally think that raw devices are a stupid idea.

 * Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100 mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had.

 * Only wimps use tape backup: real men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)

 * If you still don't like it, that's OK: that's why I'm boss. I simply know better than you do.

 * …the Linux philosophy is "laugh in the face of danger". Oops. Wrong one. "Do it yourself". That's it.

 * See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too ;-)

 * Making Linux GPL'd was definitely the best thing I ever did.

 * (In answer to the question: In the extreme case, if it was just you doing all the code, and the rest of the world quietly used it, would it make sense to give it away free? Unless you're particularly grateful for other free things you've got off the Net, would the answer be No?":)

 * I don't necessarily think so. It might be true in certain niche areas, but almost any project will give a developer that "feel good" feeling when he has users and he feels he is doing something worthwhile. I really don't think you need all that much "quid pro quo" in programming - most of the good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program.

 * "Regression testing"? What's that? If it compiles, it is good; if it boots up, it is perfect.

 * If Microsoft ever does applications for Linux it means I've won.

 * My name is Linus Torvalds and I am your god.
 * As quoted in: Young, Robert; Goldman Rohm, Wendy (1999), Under the Radar: How Red Hat Changed the Software Business – and Took Microsoft by Surprise, p. 111
 * Jokingly introducing himself at the 1998 Linux Expo in Durham, North Carolina

 * I'd like to say that I knew this would happen, that it's all part of the plan for world domination.

 * I was thrown out of fourth grade because I couldn't write my own name, and it's been all downhill from there.

2000–04

 * Note that nobody reads every post in linux-kernel. In fact, nobody who expects to have time left over to actually do any real kernel work will read even half. Except Alan Cox, but he's actually not human, but about a thousand gnomes working in under-ground caves in Swansea. None of the individual gnomes read all the postings either, they just work together really well.

 * Talk is cheap. Show me the code.

 * I'm a bastard. I have absolutely no clue why people can ever think otherwise. Yet they do. People think I'm a nice guy, and the fact is that I'm a scheming, conniving bastard who doesn't care for any hurt feelings or lost hours of work, if it just results in what I consider to be a better system. And I'm not just saying that. I'm really not a very nice person. I can say "I don't care" with a straight face, and really mean it.

 * To kind of explain what Linux is, you have to explain what an operating system is. And the thing about an operating system is that you're never ever supposed to see it. Because nobody really uses an operating system; people use programs on their computer. And the only mission in life of an operating system is to help those programs run. So an operating system never does anything on its own; it's only waiting for the programs to ask for certain resources, or ask for a certain file on the disk, or ask to connect to the outside world. And then the operating system steps in and tries to make it easy for people to write programs.
 * Interview in Revolution OS, documentary, 2001.

 * In short: just say NO TO DRUGS, and maybe you won't end up like the Hurd people.

 * Hey, that's not a bug, that's a feature! You know what the most complex piece of engineering known to man in the whole solar system is? Guess what – it's not Linux, it's not Solaris, and it's not your car. It's you. And me. And think about how you and me actually came about – not through any complex design. Right. "Sheer luck". Well, sheer luck, and: • Free availability and crosspollination through sharing of "source code", although biologists call it DNA. • A rather unforgiving user environment, that happily replaces bad versions of us with better working versions and thus culls the herd (biologists often call this "survival of the fittest"). • Massive undirected parallel development ("trial and error"). I'm deadly serious: we humans have never been able to replicate something more complicated than what we ourselves are, yet natural selection did it without even thinking. Don't underestimate the power of survival of the fittest. And don't ever make the mistake that you can design something better than what you get from ruthless massively parallel trial-and-error with a feedback cycle. That's giving your intelligence much too much credit. Quite frankly, Sun is doomed. And it has nothing to do with their engineering practices or their coding style.

 * Yeah. And as Linus once said: most numerical problems today in pure CPU cycles are actually 3D games. … It's not "incorrect" to say that you want the result faster, even if that result doesn't match your theoretical models.
 * Torvalds did not originate this quote. It is a reference from David Braben following the release of Elite, and is itself a rephrasing of a reference to relative worth of game coding.
 * Torvalds did not originate this quote. It is a reference from David Braben following the release of Elite, and is itself a rephrasing of a reference to relative worth of game coding.

 * Once you realize that documentation should be laughed at, peed upon, put on fire, and just ridiculed in general, THEN, and only then, have you reached the level where you can safely read it and try to use it to actually implement a driver.

 * I allege that SCO is full of it.

 * Those that can, do. Those that can't, complain.
 * Note: Torvalds did not originate this quote, and there are earlier records for it. This is a variation on "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches," which is also attributed to George Bernard Shaw.
 * Note: Torvalds did not originate this quote, and there are earlier records for it. This is a variation on "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches," which is also attributed to George Bernard Shaw.

 * Really, I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect.

 * Modern PCs are horrible. ACPI is a complete design disaster in every way. But we're kind of stuck with it. If any Intel people are listening to this and you had anything to do with ACPI, shoot yourself now, before you reproduce.

 * They are smoking crack.
 * Notes: said about SCO.
 * Notes: said about SCO.

 * There are literally several levels of SCO being wrong. And even if we were to live in that alternate universe where SCO would be right, they'd still be wrong.

 * The NIH syndrome (Not Invented Here) is a disease.

 * Anybody who tells me I can't use a program because it's not open source, go suck on rms. I'm not interested. 99% of that I run tends to be open source, but that's my choice, dammit.

 * Nobody should start to undertake a large project. You start with a small trivial project, and you should never expect it to get large. If you do, you'll just overdesign and generally think it is more important than it likely is at that stage. Or worse, you might be scared away by the sheer size of the work you envision. So start small, and think about the details. Don't think about some big picture and fancy design. If it doesn't solve some fairly immediate need, it's almost certainly over-designed. And don't expect people to jump in and help you. That's not how these things work. You need to get something half-way useful first, and then others will say "hey, that almost works for me", and they'll get involved in the project.

2005

 * A lot of people still like Solaris, but I'm in active competition with them, and so I hope they die.

 * 2.6. : still a stable kernel, but accept bigger changes leading up to it (timeframe: a month or two). 2. .x: aim for big changes that may destabilize the kernel for several releases (timeframe: a year or two)  .x.x: Linus went crazy, broke absolutely everything, and rewrote the kernel to be a microkernel using a special message-passing version of Visual Basic. (timeframe: "we expect that he will be released from the mental institution in a decade or two").

 * Which mindset is right? Mine, of course. People who disagree with me are by definition crazy. (Until I change my mind, when they can suddenly become upstanding citizens. I'm flexible, and not black-and-white.)

 * Don't bother. Bram doesn't know what he's talking about.

 * It was such a relief to program in user mode for a change. Not having to care about the small stuff is wonderful.

 * I chose 1000 originally partly as a way to make sure that people that assumed HZ was 100 would get a swift kick in the pants.

 * I'm always right. This time I'm just even more right than usual.

 * The fact that ACPI was designed by a group of monkeys high on LSD, and is some of the worst designs in the industry obviously makes running it at any point pretty damn ugly.

 * I personally just encourage people to switch to KDE. This "users are idiots, and are confused by functionality" mentality of Gnome is a disease. If you think your users are idiots, only idiots will use it. I don't use Gnome, because in striving to be simple, it has long since reached the point where it simply doesn't do what I need it to do.  Please, just tell people to use KDE.

2006

 * For example, the GPLv2 in no way limits your use of the software. If you're a mad scientist, you can use GPLv2'd software for your evil plans to take over the world ("Sharks with lasers on their heads!!"), and the GPLv2 just says that you have to give source code back. And that's OK by me. I like sharks with lasers. I just want the mad scientists of the world to pay me back in kind. I made source code available to them, they have to make their changes to it available to me. After that, they can fry me with their shark-mounted lasers all they want.

 * I claim that Mach people (and apparently FreeBSD) are incompetent idiots.
 * LKML, April 21, 2006

 * I like colorized diffs, but let's face it, those particular color choices will make most people decide to pick out their eyes with a fondue fork. And that's not good. Digging in your eye-sockets with a fondue fork is strictly considered to be bad for your health, and seven out of nine optometrists are dead set against the practice.  So in order to avoid a lot of blind git users, please apply this patch.

 * …git actually has a simple design, with stable and reasonably well-documented data structures. In fact, I'm a huge proponent of designing your code around the data, rather than the other way around, and I think it's one of the reasons git has been fairly successful […] I will, in fact, claim that the difference between a bad programmer and a good one is whether he considers his code or his data structures more important. Bad programmers worry about the code. Good programmers worry about data structures and their relationships.

 * EFI is this other Intel brain-damage (the first one being ACPI).

 * … even if the Hurd didn't depend on Linux code (and as far as I know, it does, but since I think they have their design heads firmly up their *sses anyway with that whole microkernel thing, I've never felt it was worth my time even looking at their code), I don't believe a religiously motivated development community can ever generate as good code except by pure chance.
 * LKML, September 27, 2006

 * I'm a huge believer in evolution (not in the sense that "it happened" – anybody who doesn't believe that is either uninformed or crazy, but in the sense "the processes of evolution are really fundamental, and should probably be at least thought about in pretty much any context").
 * LKML, September 28, 2006

 * Dijkstra probably hates me.

 * It's one of those rare "perfect" kernels. So if it doesn't happen to compile with your config (or it does compile, but then does unspeakable acts of perversion with your pet dachshund), you can rest easy knowing that it's all your own damn fault, and you should just fix your evil ways.

 * Gcc is crap.

 * Friends don't let friends use [gcc] "-W".

 * I think people can generally trust me, but they can trust me exactly because they know they don't have to.

2007

 * Nobody actually creates perfect code the first time around, except me. But there's only one of me.

 * If you have ever done any security work – and it did not involve the concept of "network of trust" – it wasn't security work, it was – masturbation. I don't know what you were doing. But trust me, it's the only way you can do security, it's the only way you can do development.

 * So the whole "We have a list and we're not telling you" should tell you something. Don't you think that if Microsoft actually had some really foolproof patent, they'd just tell us and go, "nyaah, nyaah, nyaah!"?
 * Said about Microsoft's claim that the Linux kernel infringes upon 42 of their patents.

 * You try to claim that the GPLv3 causes "More developers", and that, my idiotic penpal, is just crazy talk that you made up.

 * I don't ask for money. I don't ask for sexual favors. I don't ask for access to the hardware you design and sell. I just ask for the thing I gave you: source code that I can use myself.

 * Controlling a laser with Linux is crazy, but everyone in this room is crazy in his own way. So if you want to use Linux to control an industrial welding laser, I have no problem with your using PREEMPT_RT.

 * Is "I hope you all die a painful death" too strong?
 * Linus to the hardware manufacturers that refuse to release the specifications of their hardware so they could operate with the Linux kernel.

 * C++ is a horrible language. It's made more horrible by the fact that a lot of substandard programmers use it, to the point where it's much much easier to generate total and utter crap with it.

 * C++ is in that inconvenient spot where it doesn't help make things simple enough to be truly usable for prototyping or simple GUI programming, and yet isn't the lean system programming language that C is that actively encourages you to use simple and direct constructs.

 * I'm an egotistical bastard, and I name all my projects after myself. First Linux, now git.
 * 2007-06-14

 * Me, I just don't care about proprietary software. It's not "evil" or "immoral," it just doesn't matter. I think that Open Source can do better, and I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is by working on Open Source, but it's not a crusade – it's just a superior way of working together and generating code.

 * It's superior because it's a lot more fun and because it makes cooperation much easier (no silly NDA's or artificial barriers to innovation like in a proprietary setting), and I think Open Source is the right thing to do the same way I believe science is better than alchemy. Like science, Open Source allows people to build on a solid base of previous knowledge, without some silly hiding.

 * But I don't think you need to think that alchemy is "evil." It's just pointless because you can obviously never do as well in a closed environment as you can with open scientific methods.

 * I have an ego the size of a small planet, but I'm not _always_ right [...].

 * It has nothing to do with dinosaurs. Good taste doesn't go out of style
 * (About the C programming language, vs. C++)

 * Yes, I realize that there's a lot of insane people out there. However, we generally don't do kernel design decisions based on them. But we can pat the insane users on the head and say "we won't guarantee it works, but if you eat your prozac, and don't bother us, go do your stupid things".

2008

 * Your problem has nothing to do with git, and everything to do with emacs. And then you have the gall to talk about "Unix design" and not gumming programs together, when you yourself use the most gummed-up piece of absolute sh*t there is!

 * The fact is, there aren't just two sides to any issue, there's almost always a range of responses, and "it depends" is almost always the right answer in any big question.

 * Real quality means making sure that people are proud of the code they write, that they're involved and taking it personally.

 * Security people are often the black-and-white kind of people that I can't stand. I think the OpenBSD crowd is a bunch of masturbating monkeys, in that they make such a big deal about concentrating on security to the point where they pretty much admit that nothing else matters to them.

 * It's what I call "mental masturbation", when you engage is some pointless intellectual exercise that has no possible meaning.

 * Sometimes "pi = 3.14" is (a) infinitely faster than the "correct" answer and (b) the difference between the "correct" and the "wrong" answer is meaningless. And this is why I get upset when somebody dismisses performance issues based on "correctness". The thing is, some specious value of "correctness" is often irrelevant because it doesn't matter. While performance almost always matters. And I absolutely detest the fact that people so often dismiss performance concerns so readily.
 * Git mailing list, Fri, 8 Aug 2008

 * I think Leopard is a much better system [than Windows Vista] … but OS X in some ways is actually worse than Windows to program for. Their file system is complete and utter crap, which is scary.

 * And what's the Internet without the rick-roll?

2009

 * Crying that it's an application bug is like crying over the speed of light: you should deal with reality, not what you wish reality was.
 * Theory and practice sometimes clash. And when that happens, theory loses. Every single time.

 * The thing that has always disturbed me about O_DIRECT is that the whole interface is just stupid, and was probably designed by a deranged monkey on some serious mind-controlling substances. [*] [*] In other words, it's an Oracleism.
 * Notes: from NOTES topic of

 * I may make jokes about Microsoft at times, but at the same time, I think the Microsoft hatred is a disease.

 * There are "extremists" in the free software world, but that's one major reason why I don't call what I do "free software" any more. I don't want to be associated with the people for whom it's about exclusion and hatred.

 * Your code is shit.. your argument is shit.

2010

 * Standards are paper. I use paper to wipe my butt every day. That's how much that paper is worth.

 * Every time I see some piece of medical research saying that caffeine is good for you, I high-five myself. Because I'm going to live forever.

2011

 * Toto, I don't think we're talking white-socks-and-sandals any more.
 * Torvalds contemplating his appearance at an Oscar Party.
 * Torvalds contemplating his appearance at an Oscar Party.

 * Why don't we write code that just works? Or absent a "just works" set of patches, why don't we revert to code that has years of testing? This kind of "I broke things, so now I will jiggle things randomly until they unbreak" is not acceptable. [...] Don't just make random changes. There really are only two acceptable models of development: "think and analyze" or "years and years of testing on thousands of machines". Those two really do work.

2012

 * We're not masturbating around with some research project. We never were. Even when Linux was young, the whole and only point was to make a *usable* system. It's why it's not some crazy drug-induced microkernel or other random crazy thing.

 * [In response to ] Good job. More public indecency, less TSA, that's what I say.

 * Somebody is trying to kill all the kernel developers.

 * First we had two earthquakes - fine, this week God not only hates republicans, but apparently us kernel developers too. But we kernel developers laugh in the face of danger, and a 5.5 earthquake just makes us whimper and hide in the closet for a while.

 * But after we've stopped cowering in the closet, there's a knock on the door, and the conference organizers are handing out skate boards, with the innocent explanations of "We're in San Diego, after all".

 * If that's not a sign of somebody trying to kill us, I don't know what is. Handing out skate boards to a bunch of geeks sounds like a seriously misguided thing to do.

 * […] I really hate big laptops. I can't understand people who lug around 15" (or 17"!) monsters. The right weight for a laptop is 1kg, no more.
 * Obsessing about things is important, and things really do matter, but if you can't let go of them, you'll end up crazy.

 * WE DO NOT BREAK USERSPACE!

 * I'm not sentimental. Good riddance.

 * Of course, I'd also suggest that whoever was the genius who thought it was a good idea to read things ONE F*CKING BYTE AT A TIME with system calls for each byte should be retroactively aborted. Who the f*ck does idiotic things like that? How did they not die as babies, considering that they were likely too stupid to find a tit to suck on?

 * People say that you should not micro-optimize; but, if what you love is micro-optimization, that's what you should do.

 * I like offending people, because I think people who get offended should be offended.

 * Nvidia has been the single worst company we've ever dealt with. So, Nvidia, fuck you!

 * I wish everybody was as nice as I am.

 * I started Linux as a desktop operating system. And it's the only area where Linux hasn't completely taken over. That just annoys the hell out of me.

2013

 * I realize that lawyers are brought up (probably from small children) to think that "technically true" is what matters, but when you make public PR statements, they should be more than "technically" true. They should be honest. There's a big f*cking difference.
 * Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems.
 * But this is definitely another of those "This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Al-biwan Ke-Viro, you're my only hope" issues. Al? Please don't make me wear that golden bikini.
 * I hope I won't end up having to hunt you all down and kill you in your sleep.
 * Whoever came up with "hold the shift key for eight seconds to turn on 'your keyboard is buggered' mode" should be shot.
 * There aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.
 * That's the spirit. Greg has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me. Come to the dark side, Sarah. We have cookies.
 * Because if you want me to "act professional", I can tell you that I'm not interested. I'm sitting in my home office wearing a bathrobe. The same way I'm not going to start wearing ties, I'm *also* not going to buy into the fake politeness, the lying, the office politics and backstabbing, the passive aggressiveness, and the buzzwords. Because THAT is what "acting professionally" results in: people resort to all kinds of really nasty things because they are forced to act out their normal urges in unnatural ways.
 * Whoever came up with "hold the shift key for eight seconds to turn on 'your keyboard is buggered' mode" should be shot.
 * There aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.
 * That's the spirit. Greg has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me. Come to the dark side, Sarah. We have cookies.
 * Because if you want me to "act professional", I can tell you that I'm not interested. I'm sitting in my home office wearing a bathrobe. The same way I'm not going to start wearing ties, I'm *also* not going to buy into the fake politeness, the lying, the office politics and backstabbing, the passive aggressiveness, and the buzzwords. Because THAT is what "acting professionally" results in: people resort to all kinds of really nasty things because they are forced to act out their normal urges in unnatural ways.
 * That's the spirit. Greg has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me. Come to the dark side, Sarah. We have cookies.
 * Because if you want me to "act professional", I can tell you that I'm not interested. I'm sitting in my home office wearing a bathrobe. The same way I'm not going to start wearing ties, I'm *also* not going to buy into the fake politeness, the lying, the office politics and backstabbing, the passive aggressiveness, and the buzzwords. Because THAT is what "acting professionally" results in: people resort to all kinds of really nasty things because they are forced to act out their normal urges in unnatural ways.
 * Because if you want me to "act professional", I can tell you that I'm not interested. I'm sitting in my home office wearing a bathrobe. The same way I'm not going to start wearing ties, I'm *also* not going to buy into the fake politeness, the lying, the office politics and backstabbing, the passive aggressiveness, and the buzzwords. Because THAT is what "acting professionally" results in: people resort to all kinds of really nasty things because they are forced to act out their normal urges in unnatural ways.

2014

 * XML is crap. Really. There are no excuses. XML is nasty to parse for humans, and it's a disaster to parse even for computers. There's just no reason for that horrible crap to exist.
 * Lookie here, your compiler does some absolutely insane things with the spilling, including spilling a *constant*. For chrissake, that compiler shouldn't have been allowed to graduate from kindergarten. We're talking "sloth that was dropped on the head as a baby" level retardation levels here.
 * I don't respect people unless I think they deserve the respect. There are people who think that respect is something that should be given, and I happen to be one of the people who is perfectly happy saying no; respect should be earned. And without being earned, you don't get it. It's really that simple.
 * I don't respect people unless I think they deserve the respect. There are people who think that respect is something that should be given, and I happen to be one of the people who is perfectly happy saying no; respect should be earned. And without being earned, you don't get it. It's really that simple.
 * I don't respect people unless I think they deserve the respect. There are people who think that respect is something that should be given, and I happen to be one of the people who is perfectly happy saying no; respect should be earned. And without being earned, you don't get it. It's really that simple.

 * One of the things, none of the distributions have ever done right is application packaging [...] making binaries for linux desktop applications is a major fucking pain in the ass.

 * [GPL] version 3 was not a good "here we give you version 2" and then we try to sneak in this new rules and try force everyone to upgrade; that was the part I disliked. The FSF did really sneaky stuff, downright immoral in my opinion.

 * I may be a huge computer nerd, but even so I don't think education should be about computers. Not as a subject, and not as a classroom resource either.

 * On the internet nobody can hear you being subtle.

2015

 * I don’t care about you.

 * "the most important part of open source is that people are allowed to do what they are good at" and "all that [diversity] stuff is just details and not really important."

 * I am a lazy person, which is why I like open source, for other people to do work for me.

 * Christ, people. Learn C, instead of just stringing random characters together until it compiles (with warnings).

 * Get rid of it. And I don't *ever* want to see that shit again.

 * We don't merge kernel code just because user space was written by a retarded monkey on crack.

2016

 * I've actually felt slightly uncomfortable at TED for the last two days, because there's a lot of vision going on, right? And I am not a visionary. I do not have a five-year plan. I'm an engineer. And I think it's really -- I mean -- I'm perfectly happy with all the people who are walking around and just staring at the clouds and looking at the stars and saying, "I want to go there." But I'm looking at the ground, and I want to fix the pothole that's right in front of me before I fall in. This is the kind of person I am.

 * I was 21 at the time, so I was young, but I had already programmed for half my life, basically. And every project before that had been completely personal and it was a revelation when people just started commenting, started giving feedback on your code. And even before they started giving code back, that was, I think, one of the big moments where I said, "I love other people!" Don't get me wrong -- I'm actually not a people person.

 * The desktop hasn't really taken over the world like Linux has in many other areas, but just looking at my own use, my desktop looks so much better than I ever could have imagined. Despite the fact that I'm known for sometimes not being very polite to some of the desktop UI people, because I want to get my work done. Pretty is not my primary thing. I actually am very happy with the Linux desktop, and I started the project for my own needs, and my needs are very much fulfilled. That's why, to me, it's not a failure. I would obviously love for Linux to take over that world too, but it turns out it's a really hard area to enter. I'm still working on it. It's been 25 years. I can do this for another 25. I'll wear them down.

 * Lawsuits destroy community. They destroy trust. They would destroy all the goodwill we've built up over the years by being nice.
 * The fact is, the people who have created open source and made it a success have been the developers doing work - and the companies that we could get involved by showing that we are not all insane crazy people like the FSF. The people who have *destroyed* projects have been lawyers that claimed to be out to "save" those projects.

 * I've been personally pretty disappointed with ARM as a hardware platform, not as an instruction set, though I've had my issues there, too. [...] What I wanted to upgrade to was Acorn Archimedes ... the thing that gave ARM its name.

2017

 * None of this "there is no way to continue" bullshit. Because it is pure and utter SHIT.

2018

 * BULLSHIT. Have you _looked_ at the patches you are talking about? You should have - several of them bear your name. [...] As it is, the patches are COMPLETE AND UTTER GARBAGE. [...] WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?

 * It looks like the IT security world has hit a new low. If you work in security, and think you have some morals, I think you might want to add the tag-line "No, really, I'm not a whore. Pinky promise" to your business card. Because I thought the whole industry was corrupt before, but it's getting ridiculous. At what point will security people admit they have an attention-whoring problem?

 * Can I just once again state my love for it and hope it gets merged soon? Maybe the code isn't perfect, but I've skimmed it, and compared to the horrors that are OpenVPN and IPSec, it's a work of art.

 * This is my reality. I am not an emotionally empathetic kind of person and that probably doesn't come as a big surprise to anybody.  Least of all me.  The fact that I then misread people and don't realize (for years) how badly I've judged a situation and contributed to an unprofessional environment is not good. This week people in our community confronted me about my lifetime of not understanding emotions.  My flippant attacks in emails have been both unprofessional and uncalled for.  Especially at times when I made it personal.  In my quest for a better patch, this made sense to me. I know now this was not OK and I am truly sorry.

2021

 * You don't know what you are talking about, you don't know what mRNA is, and you're spreading idiotic lies. Maybe you do so unwittingly, because of bad education. Maybe you do so because you've talked to "experts" or watched youtube videos by charlatans that don't know what they are talking about. But dammit, regardless of where you have gotten your mis-information from, any Linux kernel discussion list isn't going to have your idiotic drivel pass uncontested from me. [...] Get vaccinated. Stop believing the anti-vax lies. And if you insist on believing in the crazy conspiracy theories, at least SHUT THE HELL UP about it on Linux kernel discussion lists.

 * I know most of us are preparing for Christmas, but give it a whirl, ok? How important are those presents (and that family) anyway?

2022

 * Please, as you emerge from your holiday-induced food coma, do give it a quick test so that we can all be happy about the final release next weekend.

2023

 * ...today, March 14th, is the 29th anniversary of the Linux 1.0 announcement. Of course, there are other arguably more important dates in Linux history, but this is one of them.

 * I’m actually a horrible MIS person, and I would never want to maintain my own server. I’m a programmer for chrissake! The same way you should fear me if I hold a soldering iron, you should be very very nervous if I were to do any server management... and on a similar note: not only am I not much of a MIS person, I’m also not much of a social networking person. I foresee a lot of disappointment in the future of any followers of this account.

 * It’s Caturday. Minky is no longer with us, but this is probably my favorite picture of her.

 * It’s Sunday, which means no more cat pictures, and instead just the usual -rc release. Prize for odd bug this week goes to an otherwise harmless off-by-one buglet that then in turn confused clang sufficiently to generate bogus code that our ‘objtool’ checks then (correctly) complained about it. This is the kind of exciting lives that us kernel developers lead.

 * Pet peeve of the day: all the people talking about how ChatGPT is not “conscious” and how it does not “understand” what it is saying, but just putting likely-sounding words together into likely-sounding sentences. Extra bonus points for using an example of a math problem as a way to show how these AI chat-bots talk about things they don’t really understand. The irony. The lack of self-awareness. It burns.

 * Sometimes you have one of those days that just shows how incompetent you are... Moral of the day: RTFM.

 * I’ve maintained a branch of the old micro-emacs (not GNU emacs) for decades. And by “maintained” I really mean “mostly kept working”. It’s a scrappy little editor from the eighties(!) and the “s” in scrappy is silent... Over the decades, I’ve “enhached” that thing to actually mostly understand UTF-8, and increased some internal limits, but it’s mostly the same thing that I used in the early nineties... I don’t love the fact that it’s a very limited text editor. I’d like syntax highlighting etc. But my fingers are absolutely hardcoded to it, and I am not in the least interested in something that makes me switch away from those (much less start using a mouse to move around etc). Which is just a very long way to say: “Does anybody know of some slightly more modern GUI editor that actually has good support for really changing keybindings”... And yes, I know one answer is “teach your fingers new ways”. But my micro-emacs works just fine, and so it really isn’t worth it to me... I’d rather maintain just a keybinding file than a whole scrappy editor... I’m not interested in yet another “runs in a terminal” editor, or some even older editor (ie “real” emacs, or vim) that just has had more lipstick applied over the years.

 * It's Easter Sunday, which means that we're all about to gorge on mämmi (Right? You *do* have your carton of mämmi ready to go, don't you?).

 * Life is good. We have a dishwasher again. Our old one broke (again!) and while I fixed it myself last time, I wasn’t willing to deal with a dishwasher that keeps breaking. I grew up washing dishes by hand, and I’d largely forgotten how much I hated it. Ten days without a working dishwasher is ten days too many.
 * Last time it broke was last year when lead times for replacements were in the months due to supply chain issues. So I went through the whole “google it and figure out it’s the water inlet valve that needs replacing”. There’s certainly a satisfaction in fixing things (“look, I can do hardware too”), but when the circulation pump starts throwing errors, I’d rather just not have to deal with it again. Once is enough.
 * There’s no pride in doing things that machines can do better. You say “convenience”, I say “I have better things to do in my life”
 * I have solved the problem of ironing simply by not wearing suits. Win-win. But not washing dishes isn’t really an option. Dishwashers (and washing machines) are just not optional. I’m not some kind of animal living in a cave any more.
 * The broken one was a Bosch one. Fairly high-end too, because I want my dishwasher quiet (and that’s what you usually pay extra for). That was, I think, the third Bosch that we’ve had in 15 years. Either we’re hard on dishwashers, or their reputation for being reliable is overblown. Miele is supposedly better, but hard to find. So we’re trying Samsung now. I have at least temporarily decided that the whole “German Engineering” thing may be a thing of the past. Let’s see how that works out.
 * (In response to post asking a rhetorical question of whether someone believed in "German engineering" after a scandal involving Volkswagen) or rather, the Berlin airport debacle? To be fair, I think most (all?) Bosch models that are sold in the US are actually manufactured here too. Maybe the ones actually manufactured in Germany fare better.

 * (In response to a post of the Linux Kernel infrastructre maintainer showcasing an online scam mentioning God) Damn. Who will take care of the kernel.org infrastructure now? God really didn’t think that one through.

 * I will now go back to my cave and continue pulling stuff, I just had to do something else for a while. Some people relax with a nice drink by the pool, I relax by playing around with inline asm.

Attributed

 * If 386BSD had been available when I started on Linux, Linux would probably never had happened.
 * Source: Mike Linksvayer's 1993 interview in the first issue of Meta Magazine

 * Software is like sex; it's better when it's free.
 * Attributed to Torvalds at 1996 FSF conference, video showing this phrase in one of Torvalds papers (time code: 48.44)

 * The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.
 * Source: quoted by Alan Cox here

 * OK, I admit it. I was just a front-man for the real fathers of Linux, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.
 * Attributed to Torvalds in LinuxWorld interview.
 * Responding to the Alexis de Tocqueville Institution's claim that Linus Torvalds is not the real father of Linux.

 * 95 percent of all software developers believe they are in the top 5 percent when it comes to knowledge and skills.

 * Guess what? Wheels have been round for a really long time, and anybody who "reinvents" the new wheel is generally considered a crackpot. It turns out that "round" is simply a good form for a wheel to have. It may be boring, but it just tends to roll better than a square, and "hipness" has nothing what-so-ever to do with it.
 * Source: on Desktop_architects: Drivers – below the OS, Fri Aug 3 18:12:57 PDT 2007.

 * I don't doubt at all that virtualization is useful in some areas. What I doubt rather strongly is that it will ever have the kind of impact that the people involved in virtualization want it to have.
 * Source: Desktop_architects list, 2007.8.3

 * Now, most of you are probably going to be totally bored out of your minds on Christmas day, and here's the perfect distraction. Test 2.6.15-rc7. All the stores will be closed, and there's really nothing better to do in between meals.
 * Source: LKML 2005.12.24

 * First off, I'm actually perfectly well off. I live in a good-sized house, with a nice yard, with deer occasionally showing up and eating the roses (my wife likes the roses more, I like the deer more, so we don't really mind). I've got three kids, and I know I can pay for their education. What more do I need? The thing is, being a good programmer actually pays pretty well; being acknowledged as being world-class pays even better. I simply didn't need to start a commercial company. And it's just about the least interesting thing I can even imagine. I absolutely hate paperwork. I couldn't take care of employees if I tried. A company that I started would never have succeeded – it's simply not what I'm interested in! So instead, I have a very good life, doing something that I think is really interesting, and something that I think actually matters for people, not just me. And that makes me feel good.
 * -- 8/15/07 -- http://www.itbusiness.ca/it/client/en/TechGovernment/News.asp?id=44682&PageMem=2 --

 * So LSM stays in. No ifs, buts, maybes or anything else. When I see the security people making sane arguments and agreeing on something, that will change. Quite frankly, I expect hell to freeze over before that happens, and pigs will be nesting in trees. But hey, I can hope.
 * -- 10/1/07 -- http://web.archive.org/20071008195655/kerneltrap.org/Linux/Pluggable_Security

 * So I would not be surprised if the globbing libraries, for example, will do NFD-mangling in order to glob "correctly", so even programs ported from real Unix might end up getting pathnames subtly changed into NFD as part of some hot library-on-library action with UTF hackery inside.
 * -- Wed, 23 Jan 2008 -- http://web.archive.org/20080213164251/kerneltrap.org/mailarchive/git/2008/1/23/595619

title: Linus Torvalds


text:
Ozzy Osbourne

John Michael Osbourne (born December 3, 1948; stage name: Ozzy Osbourne) is an English musician known as the lead singer of Black Sabbath and for his solo career

Quotes

 * If you want to be ing individual, don't get a tattoo. Every er's got one these days.
 * I am a new and reformed Christian follower, I Love God
 * I am a raging alcoholic, but I don't want my kids to do the same.
 * The Osbournes television sho w.
 * I love you all; I love you more than life itself, but you're all fucking mad!
 * The Osbournes television show.

 * I keep hearing this [expletive] thing that guns don't kill people, but people kill people.
 * SUNDAY, JUNE 28, 1998: QUESTIONS FOR; Ozzy Osbourne New York Times.

 * Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?
 * A Different Spin,

 * Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a buttload of fucking bubbles!?
 * The Osbournes television show.

 * We are not going to continue until we hear the fucking roof rattle.
 * Black Sabbath Reunion Disc 2 Iron Man intro (track 5).

 * I like the word fuck. Fucking deal with it and move on to the first fucking question you have.
 * Interview.

 * I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never piss on a piece of stone at the fucking Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober. I mean I know I'm a fucking crazy-ass but still.
 * MTV News Online, 1992.

 * All that stuff about heavy metal and hard rock, I don't subscribe to any of that. It's all just music. I mean, the heavy metal from the Seventies sounds nothing like the stuff from the Eighties, and that sounds nothing like the stuff from the Nineties. Who's to say what is and isn't a certain type of music?
 * Guitar World Issue 37, 2000

 * I push this one button and the shower goes on and I think, where the fuck am I?
 * The Osbournes television show

 * I live in a 9 million dollar turd.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * We're the Osbournes, and I love it.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * I hate these fucking stretch bastards junk pimp mobiles!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * Turn that thing off, its driving me mad!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * International rock star - gravy maker extraordinaire.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * Well, its not that bad. I thought she was going to show me a picture of uhhhh...an eagle on her ass or something.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * All you have to do is say Fuck Off when the vagina doctor calls.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * [To Kelly, after he's become suspicious] You haven't been playing doctors and nurses have you?
 * The Osbournes television show

 * Its like Dr. Doolittle in this fucking house here.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * No we won't -- no we won't break the law Sharon.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the fuck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * How the fuck you feed a tree?...What...you put a ham sandwich on the tree?
 * The Osbournes television show

 * [after one of his dogs urinated in the bedroom] Who pissed!!? Who pissed on my fucking carpet!?! That bastard fucking dog man. I'm going to throw you in the pool! Get the fuck out of my house! Why do they do it Sharon? Whats the deal man? It's a fucking terrorist man! It's fucking part of Bin Laden's gang! Fucking Ali Baba used to go work on this rug.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * [hugging Sharon] Merry xmas....now fuck off.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * I like warming my butt by the fire.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * [while lighting a fire on the beach] Fuck! Go to Alaska! No, no, no, no. You fucking asshole ocean! No!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * I've had this TV for 7 years, this is how it works. Power on - it comes on. Simple clicker, volume control - piece of piss. Works every time.... what the fuck's this? What am I doing? JACK!!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * I've done a lot worse than jump off piers, son. Like throw a television out the window.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * Let me explain something to you - you have not been standing in front of thirty thousand decibals for thirty-five years - write me a note!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * Nobody tells me fuck all!
 * The Osbournes television show

 * This will end in tears.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * The downside of being outrageous is that you have to go around explaining your fucking self to people. If you're too cocky, somebody might just pull out a fucking gun and cock it and blow your fucking face off. You gotta be really careful what you bite off. Don't bite off more than you can chew. It's a dangerous world.
 * Rolling Stone Online, May 1997.

 * ...the other day, I went to a chiropractor. He's just a regular chiropractor. Whenever I meet someone who doesn't know me, they say, 'Oh you're the guy who bites the heads off everything.' I get kind of cheesed off with it, but at least they remember. The thing that pisses me off is that that's not what I'm about. If that's what you think Ozzy Osbourne's about, then you're way off.
 * Launch.com, October 10, 1998

 * I have no regrets except that I wasn't up to keep Randy (Rhoads) from getting on that plane.
 * Guitar World Issue 37, 2000.

 * I've had every known chemical--cocaine, booze--and tobacco is the hardest one in the world for me to quit. You watch old flicks? It's suggestion by looking at something: You see a cigarette, and it makes you want to smoke!
 * Launch.com October 10 2003

 * I miss the lack of melody [in current music] as well. I mean, a lot of people think I'm crazy for liking Creed and I like them purely because they sing! I mean, the singer of Creed sings like the guy from Pearl Jam, very close kind of voice. But I like the fact that Creed sing. I don't care if they're a Bible band, Satan band...
 * MTV.com, 2002

 * Here's the thing. I always hear that whole 'metal is dead' crap. The truth of the matter is that when we started the Ozzfest, media-wise, yes, metal was dead. But as far as the kids went, it was still huge. It was just that radio and MTV decided it wasn't in vogue with what they wanted to do at the time, so the average person didn't hear too much about it. That's why when it comes to picking the new acts each summer, we have people out there on the internet and in the clubs looking for good music and finding bands that people are excited about. I want to know what the kids are into, because I don't trust the industry.
 * Guitar World Issue 37, 2000.

 * I'm about caring, I'm about people, and I'm about entertaining people. I'm a family man. A husband. A father. I've been a lot of other things over the years, which we don't really want to talk about. I'm always working on trying to better myself, you know? I think that that is an ongoing thing with me. I think I'll do that for the rest of my life. I'm always thinking of what I can do today to better my life.
 * Launch.com October 30, 1998

 * I kept hearing that metal is dead and Ozzy's dead and people that like Ozzy are dead. I have never had an empty seat. I've always sold out, so who's saying it's all over?
 * CNN May 26, 1998

 * I don't consider myself a great singer--but I have a connection with the audience. There's the artist, and then a void and the audience; but I like to be part of the audience. I'd like to be them, and I'd like them to be me for an hour and a half. I get criticized for being the antichrist, causing kids to commit suicide, but that's total bullsh-t. My intentions are not that. Every year they have Halloween, and all I do is take Halloween night out on the road every night. It's like a Halloween party every night. If that was the case on Halloween night, the police cells would be full--everyone would have turned Satanic for the night!
 * Launch.com October 8 2003

 * It took a lot of water to down just that fucking bat's head, let me tell you. It's still stuck in my fucking throat, after all these years. People all over the world say, 'You're the guy who kills creatures? You still do it? You do it every night?' It happened fucking once, for Christ's sake.
 * Rolling Stone Online, May 1997.

 * When we did that album (Vol. 4) it was like one big Roman orgy-we'd be in the Jacuzzi all day doing coke, and every now and then we'd get up to do a song.
 * Guitar World Issue 37, 2000.

 * Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years! Now, some rare fly will fly over me, crap on my shoulder, and I'll drop dead, you know? My life story is a real-life story.
 * Launch.com, October 30, 1998

 * I have a message for anyone coming to the Ozzfest this summer (Summer, 2000): If you're planning to jump up onstage during my set, please do not give me any bear hugs, because they fucking hurt. Listen to me, I'm dead serious. On the first night of last year's tour, this enormous guy jumped up onstage and gave me a huge bear hug. He crushed 3 of my ribs and I had to do the whole tour in absolute agony. I couldn't believe it, the first fucking show!
 * Guitar World Issue 37, 2000.

 * I have a saying. 'Never judge a book by its cover'. I say that because I don't even know who Ozzy is. I wake up a new person every day. But if you've got a fantasy of Ozzy, who am I to say? I mean, if you think I sleep upside-down in the rafters and fly around at night and bite people's throats out, then that's your thing. But I can tell you now, all I ever wanted was for people to come to my concerts and have a good time. I don't want anyone to harm themselves in any way, shape or form-and my intentions are good whether people want to believe it or not. I'm not going to suddenly become a Jesus freak or anything. But I do have my beliefs and my beliefs are certainly not satanic.
 * Rolling Stone Online, May 1997.

 * There is something fucking unbelievable about seeing all of the fans go crazy and chanting 'Ozzy!' I would pay to see them..
 * askmen.com, 2002

 * When you're young, you're stupid. You do silly things. I did it (the O-Z-Z-Y tattoo across his knuckles) when I was 14. I was in jail for something. I could have had it removed, but why? It's my trademark. People stop me and say, 'Let me have a look at your hand.'
 * Launch.com October 30, 1998

 * The idea of a band nowadays is 5 pretty boys, one with a tattoo, one with a shaved head, and on and on. What the fuck is that? I mean, I like Britney Spears, I think she's pretty, but I'm not from the Mickey Mouse Club-I'm from the Godzilla Club!
 * Guitar World Issue 37, 2000.

 * There's not a stupidest thing--I've dressed in women's clothes, I've dressed as a Nazi. I've gone onstage naked. I've gone on so drunk I didn't even know I did a show. I've done so many stupid things, but it's all part of Ozzy. I never pre-planned 99.9% of the things I've done. Some were drastically wrong, some were drastically right. I don't know if you saw the VH1 thing [VH1's Behind The Music Ozzy documentary] recently. In one hour, it's impossible to write my life down. I come from a rather large family, three older sisters and two younger brothers. On the documentary, they interviewed my sister and it was the first time I'd seen her in years. I've had a very, very unique life. I often sit back and remember when I had no money--when you're in the middle of it, you get depressed thinking it's going to last forever. All of a sudden, out of nowhere--a bolt of lightning--here I am! I'm very well-off; I've got property all over the place, I've had a very fruitful career. But I've never had a No.1 album in America. But I've lasted several generations and somebody says to me, "Do you notice any difference in the audience?" I've been doing it now for 30 years. Some of the fans are older, but I've picked up new fans along the way.
 * Launch.com, October 30, 1998

 * ...as you'll know, the word 'fuck' sort of is used quite a lot in my house. Now, that's not to say, I think to say 'fuck this' or 'fuck you' a lot more, so it should be entered into the English language, because it has a lot more impact when you say, 'I fucking hate this thing.'
 * MTV.com, 2002

 * The biggest thing has been realizing how much people really do love the early Sabbath music. People have said it in the past but I've never really believed them before. I remember years ago when Metallica opened up for me, I went backstage and they were playing old Black Sabbath albums and I thought they were taking the piss! They said, 'No, we really love Sabbath.' I couldn't see that at the time--because towards the end of my time with Sabbath 20 years ago I thought what we were doing was boring and stupid, because we were boring and stupid, totally sick of what we were doing and totally out of our brains with drink or drugs when we were playing it.
 * Launch.com, November 2, 2000

 * I've been dictating to my son, who's helping me on his computer. I'm spending a lot of time doing research--I've just got up to 1971, when I went crazy and dived through the window. My life is so full of interesting stories...
 * Launch.com, November 2, 2000

 * I like the smell of armpits in the morning. It's like victory.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * I'm not picking up dog shit. I'm a rock star.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * [on Kelly's drummer friend] Anyone that beats fucking skins for a living has got to be somewhat weird.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * When I was a practicing alcoholic, I was unbelievable. One side effect was immense suspicion: I'd come off tour like Inspector Clouseau on acid. 'Where's this cornflake come from? It wasn't here before.'
 * The Osbournes television show

 * Dimebag was a dear friend of mine, I'm absolutely beside myself with grief. I can't for the life of me understand why someone would do this. Pantera toured with me many, many times. I'll always remember the signed guitar that he gave me at my 50th birthday party. My heart goes out to Dime's family, his fans and the other innocent victims who were killed in this senseless tragedy. It's just terribly, terribly sad.
 * MTV Interview, December 2004

 * Where do I live?
 * The Osbournes television show (visiting fire brigade)

 * Sometimes I'm scared of being Ozzy Osbourne. But it could have been worse. I could have been Sting.
 * The Osbournes television show

 * People say it's hard at the top, but it's even harder at the bottom.
 * E! True Hollywood Story: The Osbournes.

 * God, beam me up!
 * The Osbournes television show.

 * I tried out that Buckethead guy. I met with him and asked him to work with me but only if he got rid of the fucking bucket. So I came back a bit later and he's wearing this green fucking Martian's-hat thing. I said, 'Look, just be yourself!' He told me his name was Brian, so I said that's what I'd call him. He says, 'No one calls me Brian except my mother.' So I said, 'Pretend I'm your mum then!' I haven't even got out of the room and I'm already playing fucking mind games with the guy. What happens if one day he's gone and there's a note saying, 'I've been beamed up?' [Laughs] Don't get me wrong, he's a great player. He plays like a motherfucker!
 * Revolver interview; as quoted in "Ozzy Osbourne "Says Ex-GUNS N' ROSES Guitarist Buckethead Auditioned For His Solo Band", Blabbermouth.net, January 5, 2005

 * I wonder where that bat is now? Maybe he's sitting in Bat Heaven somewhere, with his own bat roadies...
 * Jason Arnopp, Slipknot: Inside the Sickness, Behind the Masks (2001), ISBN 0091879337

 * My assistant showed me a video called Forks and Knives (sic) or something, about (cutting out) meat and dairy products, so I thought, 'I'll give this a shot!' ... I feel OK actually, I feel better about myself, you know? I go on binges... That's the reason why I decided to cut out meat out and dairy because I've limited what I can have because when you're on the road and you're travelling, you grab buns and... burgers are everywhere... so now I've just narrowed the margin. ... I'm not saying I'm gonna do it forever; I might go back - when my wife learns to cook, so that'll be never!
 * On his new vegan diet in order to get healthier, in an interview on his wife Sharon's US daytime talkshow The Talk (25 October 2011), as quoted in "Ozzy Osbourne Trying Out Vegan Diet", in Contactmusic.com (25 October 2011)

“Ozzy Osbourne: The Rolling Stone Interview”, (July 25, 2002)

 * We rehearsed at a community center near Tony Iommi’s house, across the road from a movie theater. One morning, Tony says to us, “It’s interesting. I was looking over at the theater.” It was showing something like The Vampire Returns. “Don’t you think it’s weird that people pay money to be scared? Maybe we should write scary music.” That's when we came up with “Black Sabbath” [hums the guitar riff]. That was the fucking change of my life.
 * I never did this black-magic stuff. The reason I did “Mr.Crowley” on my first solo album Blizzard of Ozz, 1980 was that everybody was talking about Aleister Crowley. Jimmy Page bought his house, and one of my roadies worked with one of his roadies. I thought, “Mr. Crowley, who are you? Where are you from?” But people would hear the song and go, “He’s definitely into witchcraft.”
 * Ozzy Osbourne: My son, Jack Osbourne, gets pissed off sometimes. He said to me one day, “Dad, the difference is whether people are laughing with you or at you.” I said, “As long as they’re laughing, it doesn’t matter.”
 * Ozzy Osbourne: My home was very poor. My father worked nights as a toolmaker. He was the English Archie Bunker; he wouldn't change with the times. He would never buy my mom a washing machine. We had a boiler house in the garden — you'd put a fire under this copper boiler, where you would boil the clothes to death. I used to sleep in a bed with one of my brothers. We had no sheets. We had to use old coats. When I was a young kid, my father would take me on Sunday mornings with my Uncle Jim to the pub, the Golden Cross. Since I wasn't allowed in, I'd sit on the step, and they'd bring me a shandy, which is half lemonade, half beer. I remember thinking, “Beer must be the best lemonade in the world. I can’t wait until the age when I can drink it.” When I had my first beer, I spat it out: “That can’t be the fucking stuff. It’s like dishwater.” But then I got the glow. I didn't drink for the taste — I did it for the feeling.
 * David Fricke: Given your own history of substance abuse, what have you said to your children about drugs and alcohol?
 * Ozzy Osbourne: I don’t have to have discussions. They’ve seen me come home in police vans, and not come home at all. Which I’m not proud of. I’m the most dysfunctional kid in the family.

 * David Fricke: You've been married to Sharon for 20 years. What was it that first attracted you to her?
 * Ozzy Osbourne: Her laugh. She has the best laugh. She was so infectious, the way she laughed and cursed. I fancied her from a distance for quite a while. We’d pass in hotels, airports. Her father, Don Arden, managed Black Sabbath, and she worked in the office. Then I got fired from Black Sabbath. I went to a hotel in L.A., locked myself in this room, ordered cases of beer and had a dealer bring me coke every day. I thought, “I’m on my last fling. I’m going to get well fucked up for a few months, then go home and call it a day.” My idea was to open a bar — which is a brilliant idea for an alcoholic. One day, there is a knock at the door. Someone in the band’s organization had given me an envelope of cash I was supposed to give to Sharon. I blew it on coke. So she came ’round to tear me off a stripe. She comes in — I think she felt sorry for me. She goes, “If you straighten your act up, I want to manage you.” Everybody up to that point was going, “You dummy, you idiot, you can’t do fuck-all.” All my life, I used to be called a dummy. She was the one who didn’t. She encouraged me. She got my ass in gear. We’re the greatest team on earth.

 * David Fricke: You were arrested in 1989 for trying to kill her in a drunken rage.
 * Ozzy Osbourne: It has not always been bliss. But when I was doing the Queen’s Jubilee, there wasn’t one rock star there, not one, with a wife who was the same age. They were all 12 or 32 or whatever. I know to get a young piece of skirt is one thing. But what the fuck do you talk about? “Oh, that was bad news about India and Pakistan.” And it’s so common. I wouldn’t trade my Sharon for anything.
 * David Fricke, “Ozzy Osbourne: The Rolling Stone Interview”, ''Rolling Stone, July 25, 2002.

Blizzard of Ozz (1980)

 * People look to me and say Is the end near, when is the final day? What's the future of mankind? How do I know, I got left behind
 * I Don't Know, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads and Bob Daisley

 * Nobody ever told me, I found out for myself, You gotta believe in foolish miracles, it's not how you play the game, it's if you win or lose, you can choose, don't confuse Win or lose, it's up to you.
 * I Don't Know.

 * I've listened to preachers, I've listened to fools I've watched all the dropouts Who make their own rules We're pushed and conditioned to rule and control The media sells it and you live the role
 * Crazy Train, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads and Bob Daisley.

 * Everybody's having fun, except me I'm the lonely one I live in shame.
 * Goodbye to Romance, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads and Bob Daisley.

 * I had a vision, l saw the world burn And the seas had turned red The sun had fallen, the final curtain In the land of the dead Mother, please show the children Before it's too late To fight each other, there's no one winning We must fight all the hate
 * Revelation (Mother Earth), written by Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads and Bob Daisley

Diary of a Madman (1981)

 * And they don't really know even what they're talkin' about And I can't image what empty heads can achieve Leave me alone, don't want your promises no more 'Cos rock & roll is my religion and my law Won't ever change, may think it's strange You can't kill rock & roll, it's here to stay
 * You Can't Kill Rock and Roll, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads and Bob Daisley.

 * You've got to believe in yourself Or no one will believe in you Imagination like a bird on the wing Flying free for you to use
 * Believer, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads and Bob Daisley

Bark at the Moon (1983)

 * Howling in the shadows, living in a lunar spell, he finds his heaven, spewing from the mouth of hell.
 * Bark at the Moon, written by Ozzy Osbourne

 * I'm just a Rock and Roll Rebel, I tell you no lies, they say I worship the devil, they must be stupid or blind
 * Rock and Roll Rebel, written by Ozzy Osbourne.

 * They live a life of fear and insecurity And all you do is pay for their prosperity The ministry of fear that won't let you live The ministry of grace that doesn't forgive Do what you will to try and make me conform I'll make you wish that you had never been born
 * Rock and Roll Rebel.

The Ultimate Sin (1986)

 * I warned you then and I'm warning you now If you mess with me you're playing with fire Winds of change that are fanning the flames Will carry you to your funeral pyre
 * The Ultimate Sin, written by Robert John Daisley, Ozzy Osbourne, John Osbourne, Jake Williams, Robert Daisley

 * If we're offensive and pose a threat You fear what we represent is a mess You've missed the message that says it all And you'll never know why Oh no, you'll never know why We rock
 * Never Know Why, written by Jake E. Lee, Bob Daisley and Ozzy Osbourne.

 * War is just another game Tailor made for the insane But make a threat of their annihilation And nobody wants to play If that's the only thing that keeps the peace Then thank God for the bomb
 * Thank God for the Bomb written by Robert John Daisley, Ozzy Osbourne, John Osbourne, Jake Williams, Robert Daisley

 * If none of us believe in war Then can you tell me what the weapon's for? Listen to me everyone If the button is pushed there'll be nowhere to run
 * Killer of Giants, written by Robert John Daisley, Ozzy Osbourne, John Osbourne, Jake Williams, Robert Daisley

 * Taught by the powers that preach over me I can hear their empty reasons I wouldn't listen, I learned how to fight I opened up my mind to treason But just like the wounded, and when it's too late They'll remember, they'll surrender Never a care for the people who hate Underestimate me now
 * Shot in the Dark, written by Phil Soussan, Jake E. Lee and Ozzy Osbourne.

No Rest for the Wicked (1988)

 * A Devil with a crucifix Brimstone and fire He needs another carnal fix To take him higher and higher Now Jimmy, he got busted With his pants down Repent ye wretched sinner Self righteous clown
 * Miracle Man, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde and Bob Daisley

No More Tears (1991)

 * Tell me I'm a sinner I got news for you I spoke to God this morning and He don't like you You telling all the people the original sin He says He knows you better that you'll ever know Him
 * I Don't Want to Change the World, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde, Randy Castillo and Lemmy Kilmister

Ozzmosis (1995)

 * I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
 * I Just Want You, written by Ozzy Osbourne and Jim Vallance.

 * There Are No Unachievable Goals There Are No Unsaveable Souls No Legitimate Kings Or Queens, Do You Know What I Mean?
 * I Just Want You.

Down to Earth (2001)

 * I'm not the kind of person you think I am, I'm not the anti-Christ, or the iron man.
 * Gets Me Through, written by Ozzy Osbourne and Tim Palmer.

 * If only we could all just find serenity It would be nice if we could live as one When will all this anger, hate and bigotry... Be gone?
 * Dreamer, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Marti Frederiksen and Mick Jones.

Black Rain (2007)

 * I'm like a junky without an addiction.
 * I Don't Wanna Stop, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde and Kevin Churko.

 * Too many religions for only one god I don't need another saviour Don't try to change my mind You know I'm one of a kind Ain't gonna change my bad behaviour
 * I Don't Wanna Stop.

 * I can't believe I'm still here, I know I should be dead.
 * 11 Silver, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde and Kevin Churko.

Scream (2010)

 * It's a new day For the faceless, Take the torches From the useless, First amendment, Second guesses, All dependent, I'll do anything to help you Fallen crosses, New alliance, Deeper thinkers, Modern science, Open guest list, All inclusive, No one loses, Everything you've always wanted
 * Let It Die, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Kevin Churko and Adam Wakeman.

 * Dreams that men can be good, Faith to live as we should and know we're all connected, We give ourselves the power
 * Life Won't Wait, written by Ozzy Osbourne and Kevin Churko.

 * We all must stand together now A one by one we fall For all these years you stood by me God bless I love you all
 * I Love You All, written by Ozzy Osbourne, Kevin Churko and Adam Wakeman.

Other

 * I just can't wake from these scary dreams.
 * Scary Dreams.

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title: Ozzy Osbourne