text:
I-War (Independence War)

I-War, or Independence War, is a computer game developed by Particle Systems Ltd. This space simulation game was first released in 1997. Some of the spaceship names were inspired by the Culture novels of Iain M. Banks.

Dialogue

 * Jefferson Clay: Would you dig up my grave? The player: I beg your pardon? Jefferson Clay: I said, "Would you dig up my grave?" The player: No, of course not. Jefferson Clay: So I gather you don’t approve of being disrespectful to the dead. The player: No... Why? Jefferson Clay: Because of this. Me. Being here now. Being here dead. That’s why. I was killed. I am dead. But would they let me rest in peace? Would they? Oh, no! They would not let me be. Some sonofabitch recovered the hulk of the Dreadnaught and pulled out this sorry digital facsimile of my mind. An unholy capture of my last thoughts taken without consent during my final glorious medal-winning battle. And then they drag me kicking and screaming back into service. I’ll tell you, this is one odd navy boy. You don’t get time off even for being dead. The player: Listen - if it helps at all, I didn’t ask for some kind of digital command assistant. Jefferson Clay: Digital Assistant! Digital Assistant! That’s me. Get your untrained crew out there into darkest space. And if they drift into a bit of trouble - wander off the edge of their limited simulator academy safe territory into trouble then the crew can drop their milk and cookies press a few buttons and the Captain-O-Matic pops out the answer. Well I don’t think so. The player: So you're not going to help? Jefferson Clay: Did I say that? No. Only I am gonna play it like a computer - Stupid dumb-ass questions in - stupid smart ass sarcastic remarks out. Now, if you ever manage to ask me a question which doesn’t insult my experience and intelligence, I daresay I’ll force a civil answer out of myself.

 * Jefferson Clay: I am ashamed. Are you so dumb?  You needed cover and suddenly the sky opens and your prayers were answered, two point five million tons of flyin' metal cover, so you think 'Hmm, I know I'll sit here and wait to be discovered.'  I cannot believe it. UNPLUG ME! UNPLUG ME NOW!

 * The Nairnama: Dreadnaught. We ... are the Nairnama. Our vessel is ... Torc-ubad. We ... are ... collectors.
 * [friendly reply]:
 * The player: Err...Torc-ubad, We are honoured to meet you. Let me offer a hand in friendship to your people.
 * The Nairnama:We ... are not people. We ... have already collected ... a hand.
 * [hostile reply]:
 * The Player: You are intruding in Commonwealth space - You should leave now or face the most severe consequences.
 * The Nairnama:We...do not collect space.

 * Jefferson Clay: You know this reminds me of a story when I was in Perisher School. This junior officer had taken a few hours extra leave so as a punishment he was ordered to run around the length of the perimeter fence carrying a live missile. Now the poor guy went and tripped and fell - but the funny thing was that he was passing the weapons storage shed at the same time. We never did find him.. Heck - I'm sure I had a point.

 * Sergei Markov: We have lost the Convoy! After McDuff gets through with you the only thing you'll be commanding is a mop in the officers' latrine!

 * Edison Hayes: Indefatigable, I am transmitting you the coordinates for Hell. Suggest you go there. Over.

 * Starlight Fury here. I always looked better in green!

title: I-War (Independence War)


text:
User:Brian0918

see w:user:brian0918

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: User:Brian0918


text:
Talk:Bruce Lee

Where is your evidence? there is only evidence because of the arragance inside of the man he could not humble himself as i have been working on, and through true humbleness then you will find true peace of mind! my name is micheal lorrin williams my sources are life experience i am 25 love it live it and learn it. peace be with you.

 * Indeed, the first comment doesn't belong here. If there's evidence for those comments that were added, then the article should be divided into sections, with a comment, accompanying each quote, containing such evidence or additional information, where it's available. You can delete these unexplained comments until evidence is provided... And of course you can just improve the article in general... Sams 01:44, 23 Jun 2005 (UTC)

bold
who is the "master" that thinks s/he knows what quotes are "superior" to be bolded?
 * removed. please write a book to note what you think is important. --87.194.72.129 22:12, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

 * As has been stated before, the act of quotation itself involves selectivity, on the part of editors, and I support the use of bolding, as an acceptable means of emphasis, despite such contentions as can arise over what should be bolded, or more frequently, against the contentions that everything should be drably uniform and nothing should be bolded at all. ~ Kalki 22:21, 23 November 2006 (UTC)
 * i see no consensus on that link. is your opinion superior to mine? --87.194.72.129 02:37, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

Maybe, who knows, but I'm pretty sure yours is not superior to him :) As he said, bold quotes are ment to emphasize. I would say we could quote what Bruce Lee said, and put in bold what he felt
 * why are you pretty sure mine is an inferior opinion? are you genetically engineered with better dna around here? my point is, without consensus on the matter, shown by the very link pasted, a discussion would be preferable to blindly reverting edits.

Uuuh you might have misunderstood me :S Actually I do aprove to put in bolt some parts. It can help to say the difference between a good sentence and a strong deep feeling expressed with bold words :)

Random Images?

Why are there so many random images which have no connection to this article on this page? Sonic Boom? What does that have to do with the man? I don't believe he ever flew an airplane. 82.113.39.26 11:29, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

 * This isn't Wikipedia where the images should have descriptions, explanations, or clear and obvious links to the subjects of the page. Though ideally available images relating to the subject can be used, it is enough that the images used have some relation to the subjects of the quote which they are used with. If you look around you will find images are commonly used on many pages in ways that indicate, have reference to, relate to, illustrate or emphasize in dramatic or humorous ways some of the statements made in their captions. This has been done to make the pages more visually and intellectually interesting, as well as, hopefully, more aesthetically pleasing to most people. ~ Kalki 12:23, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

"This has been done to make the pages more visually and intellectually interesting, as well as, hopefully, more aesthetically pleasing to most people." What a load of shit. How is that in any way more intellectually interesting? It looks childish and tacky. 98.208.95.209 23:43, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

 * Then you should be bold and change it. A clear, collegial explanation of why you want to change it at the time will help the change remain in place. Saying "What a load of shit" to others in any ensuing discussions probably won't. --Bradeos Graphon Βραδέως Γράφων 15:41, 12 December 2008 (UTC)

Original research?
There seems to be an attempt in this article to explain (or speculate over possible original sources for) many of Lee's comments. Is it the place of WQ to explain Bruce Lee, or should we just quote him? --Bradeos Graphon Βραδέως Γράφων 15:47, 12 December 2008 (UTC)

Unsourced
Wikiquote no longer allows unsourced quotations, and they are in process of being removed from our pages (see Wikiquote:Limits on quotations); but if you can provide a reliable and precise source for any quote from this list please move it to Bruce Lee. --Antiquary 19:12, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

 * A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard.

 * A glass that is half empty is better than a fully broken glass.

 * A martial artist who drills exclusively to a set pattern of combat is losing his freedom. He is actually becoming a slave to a choice pattern and feels that the pattern is the real thing. It leads to stagnation because the way of combat is never based on personal choice and fancies, but constantly changes from moment to moment, and the disappointed combatant will soon find out that his "choice routine" lacks pliability. There must be a "being" instead of a "doing" in training. One must be free. Instead of complexity of form, there should be simplicity of expression.

 * A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.

 * A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.

 * Again let me remind you Jeet Kune Do is just a name used, a boat to get one across, and once across it is to be discarded and not to be carried on one's back.

 * All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.

 * Art is the expression of the self. The more complicated and restricted the method, the less the opportunity for expression of one's original sense of freedom. Though they play an important role in the early stage, the techniques should not be too mechanical, complex or restrictive. If we cling blindly to them, we shall eventually become bound by their limitations. Remember, you are expressing the techniques and not doing the techniques. If somebody attacks you, your response is not Technique No.1, Stance No. 2, Section 4, Paragraph 5. Instead you simply move in like sound and echo, without any deliberation. It is as though when I call you, you answer me, or when I throw you something, you catch it. It's as simple as that — no fuss, no mess. In other words, when someone grabs you, punch him. To me a lot of this fancy stuff is not functional.

 * As long as I can remember I feel I have had this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force which I hold in my hand.

 * Before I studied the art, a punch to me was just like a punch, a kick just like a kick. After I learned the art, a punch was no longer a punch, a kick no longer a kick. Now that I've understood the art, a punch is just like a punch, a kick just like a kick. The height of cultivation is really nothing special. It is merely simplicity; the ability to express the utmost with the minimum. It is the halfway cultivation that leads to ornamentation. Jeet Kune-Do is basically a sophisticated fighting style stripped to its essentials.

 * By adopting a certain physical posture, a resonant chord is struck in spirit.

 * Eliminate "not clear" thinking and function from your root.

 * Eventually, you learn to read groups of words. Where a student will see three motions, the experienced man will see one, because he sees the overall energy path.

 * Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.

 * Finally, a Jeet Kune Do man who says Jeet Kune Do is exclusively Jeet Kune Do is simply not with it. He is still hung up on his self-closing resistance, in this case anchored down to reactionary pattern, and naturally is still bound by another modified pattern and can move within its limits. He has not digested the simple fact that truth exists outside all molds; pattern and awareness is never exclusive.

 * Give up thinking as though not giving it up. Observe techniques as though not observing.

 * I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude.

 * I am not teaching you anything. I just help you to explore yourself.

 * I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.

 * I have not invented a "new style," composite, modified or otherwise that is set within distinct form as apart from "this" method or "that" method. On the contrary, I hope to free my followers from clinging to styles, patterns, or molds. Remember that Jeet Kune Do is merely a name used, a mirror in which to see "ourselves". . . Jeet Kune Do is not an organized institution that one can be a member of. Either you understand or you don't, and that is that.

 * I hope martial artists are more interested in the root of martial arts and not the different decorative branches, flowers or leaves.

 * I refer to my hands, feet and body as the tools of the trade. The hands and feet must be sharpened and improved daily to be efficient.

 * I'm not a master, I'm a student-master, meaning that I have the knowledge of a master and the expertise of a master, but I'm still learning, So I'm a student-master. I don't believe in the word master, I consider the master as such when they close the casket.

 * If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting, If I tell you I'm no good, You know I'm lying.

 * If there is a God, he is within. You don't ask God to give you things, you depend on God for your inner theme.

 * If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

 * If you don't want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.

 * If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

 * If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.

 * If you want to do your duty properly, you should do just a little more than that.

 * If you want to learn to swim, jump into the water. On dry land, no frame of mind is ever going to help you.

 * In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject. Actually, he keeps chiselling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Thus, contrary to other styles, being wise in Jeet Kune-Do doesn't mean adding more; it means to minimize, in other words to hack away the unessential.
 * Variant: It is not daily increase but daily decrease; hack away the unessential. In JKD, one does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.

 * In combat, spontaneity rules; rote performance of technique perishes.

 * In Jeet Kune-Do, physical conditioning is a must for all martial artists. If you are not physically fit, you have no business doing any hard sparring. To me, the best exercise for this is running. Running is so important that you should keep it up during your lifetime. What time of the day you run is not important as long as you run. In the beginning you should jog easily and then gradually increase the distance and tempo, and finally include sprints to develop your 'wind.' Let me give you a bit of warning: just because you get very good at your training it should not go to your head that you are an expert. Remember, actual sparring is the ultimate, and the training is only a means toward this. Besides running, one should also do exercises for the stomach — sit-ups, leg raises, etc. Too often one of those big-belly masters will tell you that his internal power has sunk to his stomach; he's not kidding, it is sunk and gone! To put it bluntly, he is nothing but fat and ugly.

 * In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

 * It is true that the mental aspect of kung-fu is the desired end; however, to achieve this end, technical skill must come first.

 * It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.

 * It's not what you give, it's the way you give it.

 * Jeet Kune Do is training and discipline towards the ultimate reality in combat. Jeet Kune-Do is the only non-classical style of Chinese Kung Fu in existence today. It is simple in its execution, although not so simple to explain. Jeet means "to stop, to stem, to intercept," while Kune means "fist" or "style," and Do means "the way" or "the ultimate reality." In other words — "The Way of the Intercepting Fist."

 * Jeet Kune Do, It's just a name, don't fuss over it. There's no such thing as a style if you understand the roots of combat.

 * Jeet Kune Do uses no way as way. The consciousness of self is the greatest hindrance to the proper execution of all physical action.

 * Knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do.

 * Knowledge in martial arts actually means self-knowledge. A martial artist has to take responsibility for himself and accept the consequences of his own doing. The understanding of JKD is through personal feeling from movement to movement in the mirror of the relationship and not through a process of isolation. To be is to be related. To isolate is death. To me, ultimately, martial arts means honestly expressing yourself. Now, it is very difficult to do. It has always been very easy for me to put on a show and be cocky, and be flooded with a cocky feeling and feel pretty cool and all that. I can make all kinds of phoney things. Blinded by it. Or I can show some really fancy movement. But to experience oneself honestly, not lying to oneself, and to express myself honestly, now that, my friend, is very hard to do.

 * Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it. LEARN, MASTER AND ACHIEVE!!!
 * Variant: Obey the principles without being bound by them.

 * Let the spirit out — Discard all thoughts of reward, all hopes of praise and fears of blame, all awareness of one's bodily self. And, finally closing the avenues of sense perception, let the spirit out, as it will.

 * Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

 * Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.

 * Mere technical knowledge is only the beginning of Kung Fu, to master it, one must enter into the spirit of it.

 * Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.

 * Nothingness cannot be defined; the softest thing cannot be snapped.

 * Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.

 * Out of chaos, find simplicity, From discord, find harmony.

 * Practice all movements slow and fast, soft and hard; the effectiveness of Jeet Kune-Do depends on split-second timing and reflexive action, which can be achieved only through repetitious practice.

 * Put every great teacher together in a room, and they'd agree about everything; put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything.
 * Variant: Put every great teacher in a room, and they'd agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything.

 * Real living is living for others.

 * Showing off is the fool's idea of glory.

 * Simplicity is the key to brilliance.

 * Styles tend to not only separate men — because they have their own doctrines and then the doctrine became the gospel truth that you cannot change. But if you do not have a style, if you just say: Well, here I am as a human being, how can I express myself totally and completely? Now, that way you won't create a style, because style is a crystallization. That way, it's a process of continuing growth.

 * Because of styles, people are separated. They are not united together because styles became laws. But the original founder of the style started out hypotheses, and now it has become the grospel truth. People that go into them became their product. It doesn't matter how you are, who you are, how you are structured, how you are built, how you are made. It doesn't matter. You just go in there and be that product. And that, to me is not life.

 * Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.

 * Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.

 * The aim of art is to project an inner vision into the world, to state in aesthetic creation the deepest psychic and personal experiences of a human being. It is to enable those experiences to be intelligible and generally recognized within the total framework of an ideal world.

 * The best fighter is not a Boxer, Karate or Judo man. The best fighter is someone who can adapt on any style. He kicks too good for a Boxer, throws too good for a Karate man, and punches too good for a Judo man.

 * The combatant should be alive in sparring, throwing punches and kicks from all angles, and should not be a co-operative robot. Like water, sparring should be formless. Pour water into a cup, it becomes part of the cup. Pour it into a bottle; it becomes part of the bottle. Try to kick or punch it, it is resilient; clutch it and it will yield without hesitation. In fact, it will escape as pressure is being applied to it. How true it is that nothingness cannot be confined. The softest thing cannot be snapped.

 * The first rule is to keep yourself well covered at all times and never leave yourself open while sparring around the bag. By all means use your footwork — side stepping, feinting, varying your kicks and blows to the bag. Do not shove or flick at it. Explode through it and remember that the power of the kick and punch comes from the correct contact at the right spot and at the right moment with the body in perfect position; not, as many people think, from the vigor with which the kicks or blows are delivered.

 * The future looks extremely bright indeed, with lots of possibilities ahead — big possibilities. Like the song says, "We've just begun."

 * The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or in defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.

 * The height of cultivation runs to simplicity. Halfway cultivation runs to ornamentation.

 * The highest technique is to have no technique. My technique is a result of your technique; my movement is a result of your movement. A good JKD man does not oppose force or give way completely. He is pliable as a spring; he is the complement and not the opposition to his opponent’s strength. He has no technique; he makes his opponent's technique his technique. He has no design; he makes opportunity his design. One should not respond to circumstance with artificial and "wooden" prearrangement. Your action should be like the immediacy of a shadow adapting to its moving object. Your task is simply to complete the other half of the oneness spontaneously.

 * The idea is that flowing water never goes stale, so just keep on flowing.

 * The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.

 * The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.

 * The main characteristic JKD is the absence of the usual classical passive blocking. Blocking is the least efficient. Jeet Kune-Do is offensive; it's alive and it's free.

 * The mind is like a fertile garden in which anything that is planted, flowers or weeds, will grow.

 * The more relaxed the muscles are, the more energy can flow through the body. Using muscular tensions to try to "do" the punch, or attempting to use brute force to knock someone over, will only work to opposite effect.

 * The old-fashioned punching speed bag teaches you to hit straight and square; if you don't hit it straight the bag will not return directly to you. Besides learning footwork, you can hit the bag upward too. Another important function is that after the delivery of the punch, the bag will return instantaneously and this will teach you to be alert and to recover quickly. The bag should not be hit in a rhythmic motion but instead in a broken rhythm. Actually fight the bag as if it is your opponent.

 * The point is doing of them rather than the accomplishments. There is no actor but the action; there is no experiencer but the experience.

 * The possession of anything begins in the mind.

 * The techniques, though they play an important role in the early stage, should not be too restrictive, complex or mechanical. If we cling to them, we will become bound by their limitation. Remember, you are expressing the technique, and not doing Technique number two, Stance three, Section four?

 * The void is no mere emptiness, but is real, free and existing. It is the source from which all things arise and return. It cannot be seen, touched or known, yet it exists and is freely used. It has no shape, size, colour or form, and yet all that we see, hear, feel and touch is "it". It is beyond intellectual knowing and cannot be grasped by the ordinary mind. When we suddenly awake to the realization that there is no barrier, and has never been seen, one realizes that one is all things, mountains, rivers, grasses, trees, sun, moon, stars, universe are all oneself. There is no longer a division or barrier between myself and others, no longer any feeling of alienation or fear. Realizing this, results in true compassion. Other people and things are not seen as apart from oneself, on the contrary, as one's own body.

 * The way to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.

 * There are lots of guys around the world that are lazy. They have big fat guts. They talk about chi power and things they can do, but don't believe it.

 * There is no fixed teaching. All I can provide is an appropriate medicine for a particular ailment.

 * There is no mystery about my style. My movements are simple, direct and non-classical. The extraordinary part of it lies in its simplicity. Every movement in Jeet Kune-Do is being so of itself. There is nothing artificial about it. I always believe that the easy way is the right way. Jeet Kune-Do is simply the direct expression of one's feelings with the minimum of movements and energy. The closer to the true way of Kung Fu, the less wastage of expression there is.

 * There is nothing better than free-style sparring in the practice of any combative art. In sparring you should wear suitable protective equipment and go all out. Then you can truly learn the correct timing and distance for the delivery of the kicks, punches, etc. It is a good idea to spar with all types of individuals — tall, short, fast, clumsy. Yes, at times a clumsy fellow will mess up a better man because his awkwardness serves as a sort of broken rhythm. The best sparring partner, though, is a quick, strong man who does not know anything; a madman who goes all out, scratching, grabbing, grappling, punching, kicking, and so on.

 * There is only one type of body, 2 arms, 2 legs, etc that make up the human body. Therefore, there can only be one style of fighting. If the other guy had 4 arms and 2 legs, there might have to be a different one. Forget the belief that one style is better than the other, the point of someone that does not just believe in tradition, but actually wants to know how to fight is to take what you need from every martial art and incorporate it into your own. Make it effective and very powerful, but don't worry if you are taking moves from many different arts, that is a good thing.

 * This statement expresses my feelings perfectly: 'In memory of a once fluid man, crammed and distorted by the classical mess.'

 * To develop proper distance and penetration against a moving target, use a partner equipped either with a body protector or an air bag. He can either stand still and take the brunt of the kick, or he can back away from the attack. The former teaches proper application of the kick, especially valuable in teaching beginners. The latter training is to teach penetration. As soon as your partner thinks you will attack, he tries to back away as fast as possible. This practice is valuable to both men; one learns to penetrate and the other to back away quickly. The body protector is sometimes used for sharpening the attack. The partner will not attack but will maintain a correct distance in a ready fighting pose. As you begin to attack, he will try to counter, block, or move away. You will have almost the actual feeling of hitting your opponent in a real situation.

 * To hell with circumstances. I create opportunities.

 * To me, the function and duty of a quality human is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.

 * To me totality is very important in sparring. Many styles claim this totality. They say that they can cope with all types of attacks; that their structures cover all the possible lines and angles, and are capable of retaliation from all angles and lines. If this is true, then how did all the different styles come about? If they are in totality, why do some use only the straight lines, others the round lines, some only kicks, and why do still others who want to be different just flap and flick their hands? To me a system that clings to one small aspect of combat is actually in bondage.

 * To me, the extraordinary aspect of martial arts lies in its simplicity. The easy way is also the right way, and martial arts is nothing at all special; the closer to the true way of martial arts, the less wastage of expression there is.

 * To reach the masses, some sort of big organization (whether) domestic and foreign branch affiliation, is not necessary. To reach the growing number of students, some sort of pre-conformed set must be established as standards for the branch to follow. As a result all members will be conditioned according to the prescribed system. Many will probably end up as a prisoner of a systematized drill.

 * To see a thing uncoloured by one's own personal preferences and desires is to see it in its own pristine simplicity.

 * Voidness is that which stands right in the middle between this and that. The void is all-inclusive, having no opposite — there is nothing which it excludes or opposes. It is living void, because all forms come out of it and whoever realizes the void is filled with life and power and the love of all being.

 * When I look around I always learn something, and that is to be yourself always, express yourself, and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate him. Now that seems to be the prevalent thing happening in Hong Kong, like they always copy mannerism, but they never start from the root of his being and that is, how can I be me?

 * When people talk about fighting schools they say that Kung Fu, or Karate, or this other style is the best. That is silly, and the problem becomes that the fighting style then becomes set in stone with no growth, and no adaptation, because what works well with me might not work for you.

 * When performing the movements, always use your imagination. Picture your adversary attacking, and use Jeet Kune-Do techniques in response to this imagined attack. As these techniques become more innate, new meaning will begin to emerge and better techniques can be formulated.

 * When you fight, if it is a real fight, use every tool that you have, use your whole body. Use your fists, your legs, your fingers, your head if you have to, and hit them in every vulnerable spot, the balls, the eyes etc. to win.

 * Wine may become so dilute that few will drink of it.

 * Words are energy and cast spells, that's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself and you can change your life.
 * This article says it's not real, although one of the sources they link at the end is actually about a completely different quote attributed both to Bruce Lee and Warren Buffett. Regardless, I couldn't find any sources attributing it to Lee earlier than this 2019 reddit post listed in the article, but searching for some phrases along with various years shows unattributed quotes were posted earlier, like this one from 2012, this one from 2014, and this one from 2018.

 * You just wait. I'm going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.

 * Your best move.... is the move you regret not doing.

About Bruce Lee (unsourced)

 * Bruce and I were training out on my patio one day, we were using this giant bag for side kicks, I guess it weighed about 150lbs. Bruce kicked it and it just went Bang, it shot up out into the lawn about 15ft in the air, it then busted in the middle. It was filled with little bits and pieces of rag, we were picking up bits of rag for months.
 * James Coburn

 * Yes, I was on the receiving end of his side kick. It was like getting hit with a truck.
 * Leo Fong

 * When he could do push ups on his thumbs and push ups with 250lbs on his back, he moved on to other exercises.
 * Jesse Glover

 * The power that Lee was capable of instantly generating was absolutely frightening to his fellow martial artists, especially his sparring partners, and his speed was equally intimidating. We timed him with an electric timer once. The timer was hooked up to a light switch that activated it when the light was turned off. It was stopped by striking a pad with a cut off switch behind it. Bruce tested his reactions several times and they were all about five hundredths of a second (0.05 second). Bruce´s first punches were thrown from a distance of three feet. When he closed from five feet his reactions were slower but they were still around eight hundredths of a second (0.08 second). Not only was he amazingly quick, but he could read you too. He could pick up on small subtle things that you were getting ready to do and then he'd just shut you down.
 * Jesse Glover

 * Bruce was gravitating more and more toward weight training as he would use the weighted wall pulleys and do series upon series with them. He'd also grab one of the old rusty barbells that littered the floor at the YMCA and would roll it up and down his forearms, which is no small feat when you consider that the barbell weighed 70lbs.
 * Jesse Glover

 * The biggest problem in designing equipment for Bruce was that he'd go through it so damn fast. I had to reinforce his wooden dummy with automobile parts so he could train on it without breaking it. I had started to build him a mobile dummy that could actually attack and retreat to better simulate "live" combat, sadly Bruce died before the machine was built. It would have been strung up by big high-tension cables that I was going to connect between two posts, one on either side of his backyard. The reason for the machine was simply because no one could stand up to his full force punches and kicks, Bruce's strength and skill had evolved to a point where he had to fight machines.
 * Herb Jackson

 * He never trained in a gym, he thought he could concentrate better at home, so he worked out on his patio. He had a small weight set, something like a standard 100lb cast-iron set. In addition, he had a 310lb Olympic barbell set, a bench press and some dumbbells, both solid and adjustable.
 * Herb Jackson

 * Bruce used to beat all other comers at this type of wrist wrestling and even joked that he wanted to be world champion at it.
 * Herb Jackson

 * Bruce, well I can basically say this. I have been around a lot of great martial arts fighters. Worked out with them. Fought them in tournaments. In my opinion Bruce Lee was the greatest martial artist who ever lived. To me thats my opinion. I think Bruce Lee is the greatest martial artist ever. I don't think anybody is in his class.
 * Jim Kelly

 * Bruce was incredibly strong for his size. He could take a 75lb barbell and from a standing position with the barbell held flush against his chest, he could slowly stick his arms out, lock them and hold the barbell there for 20 seconds, that's pretty damn tough for a guy who at the time only weighed 138lbs. I know 200lb weight lifters who can't do that.
 * Joe Lewis

 * I never stood in front of another human who was as quick as him. He not only had the quickness but he had the inner confidence to muster the conviction to do so. I've seen others who had the speed but lack conviction or vice versa. He was like Ali, he had both. I stood before both of these men, so I know.
 * Joe Lewis

 * Lee, pound for pound, might well have been one of the strongest men in the world, and certainly one of the quickest.
 * Chuck Norris

 * Bruce was like the Michael Jordan or Muhammad Ali in his prime, somebody who stood above everyone else. It's not that the other martial artists weren't good. It's just that this guy was great.
 * Doug Palmer

 * I think its important for people to realize that he was not only one of history's greatest martial artists, but also one of the finest athletes period. His devotion to physical exercise and healthy lifestyle was mind-boggling.
 * James Rage

 * Bruce always felt that if your stomach wasn't developed, then you had no business doing any hard sparring.
 * Mito Uhera

 * Bruce Lee is my idol. I need to learn some techniques of Bruce Lee, you know, the quickness of his hands and legs.
 * Manny Pacquiao on Bruce Lee

title: Talk:Bruce Lee


text:
User:Evil Monkey/monobook.css

/* make a few corners round, only supported by moz/firefox/other gecko browsers for now */ -moz-border-radius-topleft: 1em; -moz-border-radius-topright: 1em; } -moz-border-radius-topleft: 1em; -moz-border-radius-bottomleft: 1em; } div.pBody { -moz-border-radius-topright: 1em; -moz-border-radius-bottomright: 1em; }
 * 1) p-cactions ul li, #p-cactions ul li a {
 * 1) content {

/* Get rid of the stupid arrow after external links (only for http for the time being) */ background:inherit !important; padding-right:inherit !important; } /* suppress the person icon by your username */ li#pt-userpage { background: none; }
 * 1) bodyContent a[href ^="http://"] {

/* remove the ugly, recently-reinstated link underlines
 * 1) BodyContent a { text-decoration: none; }
 * 2) BodyContent a:hover { text-decoration: none; }*/

a { text-decoration: none;} a:hover { text-decoration: none;}

/* Dotted borders on pre look ugly, replace with a solid one */ border: 1px solid #aaa; } /* Dont need this copyright notice on every page */
 * 1) bodyContent pre {

/*li#f-copyright, li#f-lastmod,
 * 1) editpage-copywarn { display: none; }*/

/*   adapted from fr: like it because of the navigation and rounded tabs

 * 1) content { background : #F8FCFF; } // bleu ciel
 * 2) p-cactions li { background : #F8FCFF; }
 * 3) p-cactions li a { background : #F8FCFF; }

.ns-0 * #content { background : white; } .ns-0 * #p-cactions li { background : white; } .ns-0 * #p-cactions li a { background : white; }

.ns-1 * #content { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-1 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-1 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFFFEE; }

.ns-2 * #content { background : white; } .ns-2 * #p-cactions li { background : white; } .ns-2 * #p-cactions li a { background : white; }

.ns-3 * #content { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-3 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-3 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFFFEE; }

.ns-4 * #content { background : #F4F4F4; } .ns-4 * #p-cactions li { background : #F4F4F4; } .ns-4 * #p-cactions li a { background : #F4F4F4; }

.ns-5 * #content { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-5 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-5 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFFFEE; }

.ns-7 * #content { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-7 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-7 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFFFEE; }

.ns-8 * #content { background : #EEEEFF; } .ns-8 * #p-cactions li { background : #EEEEFF; } .ns-8 * #p-cactions li a { background : #EEEEFF; }

.ns-9 * #content { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-9 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-9 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFFFEE; }

.ns-11 * #content { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-11 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-11 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFFFEE; }

.ns-12 * #content { background : #FFEEEE; } .ns-12 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFEEEE; } .ns-12 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFEEEE; }

.ns-13 * #content { background : #FFEEEE; } .ns-13 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFEEEE; } .ns-13 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFEEEE; }

.ns-15 * #content { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-15 * #p-cactions li { background : #FFFFEE; } .ns-15 * #p-cactions li a { background : #FFFFEE; }

/* '0': 'article', '2': 'user', '4': 'wikipedia', '6': 'image', '8': 'mediawiki', '10':  '??', '12':   '??', '14':   'category'

.pBody {  padding: 0.3em 0.1em; -moz-border-radius-topright: 0.5em; } .portlet h5 { background-color: #e0e3e6; border: thin solid silver; -moz-border-radius-topright: 0.5em; } {   -moz-border-radius-topright: 0.5em; -moz-border-radius-topleft: 0.5em; }
 * 1) p-cactions ul li, #p-cactions ul li a

div.egy_calendrier#cadre {       border:1px solid #CCCC99; background: #FFFFFF; text-align: center; font-size: smaller; }

div.egy_calendrier#lien {       background: #CCCC99; padding: 0.2em; }

div.egy_calendrier#saison { }

div.egy_calendrier#mois { }

div.egy_calendrier#jour {       font-size: medium; }

table.egyleft {   float: right; margin: 0.5em 0.5em 1em 1em; border: 1px solid #ccccaa; background: #efefdd; text-align: center; width: 170px; }

/* * Divers */

.exposant { vertical-align: text-top; }

div.floatleft, table.floatleft {   float: left; position: relative; margin: 0, 0.5em, 0.5em, 0; border: 0; } div.floatright, table.floatright {   clear: right; float: right; position: relative; margin: 0, 0, 0.5em, 0.5em; border: 0; }

div.alerte#style2 { padding:0.5em; background:#FFFFDD; }

div.alerte#style1 { padding:0.5em; } div.alerte#style3 { padding:0.5em; border:solid 1px #808080; background:#F0F0F0; } div.alerte#style4 { padding:0.5em; background-color:#f7f8ff; border:1px solid #8888aa; border-right-width:2px; border-bottom-width:2px; } div.alerte#style5 { padding:0.5em; border: 1px red dashed; } div.alerte#style6 { padding:0.5em; background: peachpuff; border: 1px solid #cdcdcd; } div.alerte#style7 { padding:0.5em; border:dotted 1mm red; } div.alerte#style8 { padding:0.5em; border:dotted 1mm red; background:yellow; } div.alerte#style9 { padding:0.5em; background:#f0f0ff; }

//body.ns-0 div#p-logo a { background-image: url(/upload/7/7e/Wiki_original.png) !important; }

div.BoxenVerschmelzen, div.NavFrame { margin:0px; padding:2px; border:1px solid #AAAAAA; text-align:center; border-collapse:collapse; font-size:95%; }

div.BoxenVerschmelzen div.NavFrame { border-style:none; border-style:hidden; }

div.NavFrame + div.NavFrame { border-top-style:none; border-top-style:hidden; }

div.NavPic { background-color:#FFFFFF; margin:0px; padding:2px; float:left; }

div.NavFrame div.NavHead { height:1.6em; font-weight:bold; font-size:100%; background-color:#EFEFEF; }

div.NavFrame p { font-size:100%; }

div.NavFrame div.NavContent { font-size:100%; }

div.NavFrame div.NavContent p { font-size:100%; }

div.NavEnd { margin:0px; padding:0px; line-height:1px; clear:both; }

div.PointCarte {  position:absolute; width:1px; height:1px; background:#000000; border: 1px solid #FFFFFF; }

.j11, .j1er1, .j22, .j33, .j44, .j55, .j66, .j77, .j88, .j99, .j1010, .j1111, .j1212, .j1313, .j1414, .j1515, .j1616, .j1717, .j1818, .j1919, .j2020, .j2121, .j2222, .j2323, .j2424, .j2525, .j2626, .j2727, .j2828, .j2929, .j3030, .j3131 {  background: #d7ecff !important }

.avance_boite {  width: 100px; background-color: lightgray; border: solid 1px gray; } .avance_barre {  background-color: #A0A0FF; text-align: right; font-size: 100%; font-weight: bold; }

/* Style boîte login */ form#userlogin { padding: 1em 1em .7em 1em; background-color: #ffffe6; border: 2px solid #fc6; color: #000; margin-right: 2em; }

form#userlogin table { background-color: #ffffe6; color: #000; }

/* Standard Navigationsleisten */

div.BoxenVerschmelzen, div.NavFrame { margin: 0px; padding: 2px; border: 1px solid #aaaaaa; text-align: center; border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 95%; } div.BoxenVerschmelzen div.NavFrame { border-style: none; border-style: hidden; } div.NavFrame + div.NavFrame { border-top-style: none; border-top-style: hidden; } div.NavPic { background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px; padding: 2px; float: left; } div.NavFrame div.NavHead { height: 1.6em; font-weight: bold; font-size: 100%; background-color: #efefef; } div.NavFrame p { font-size: 100%; } div.NavFrame div.NavContent { font-size: 100%; } div.NavFrame div.NavContent p { font-size: 100%; } div.NavEnd { margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1px; clear: both; }

.NavToggle {

font-size: x-small; float:right;

}

/*

title: User:Evil Monkey/monobook.css


text:
User:Evil Monkey

I am w:en:user:Evil Monkey. Evil Monkey∴Hello 02:35, Jun 23, 2005 (UTC)

title: User:Evil Monkey


text:
User talk:Evil Monkey

Talk to me at w:en:user talk:Evil Monkey. Evil Monkey∴Hello 02:35, Jun 23, 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:Evil Monkey


text: User talk:68.192.143.224

title: User talk:68.192.143.224


text:
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead (2004) is a zombie-themed romantic comedy (or rom-zom-com as it dubs itself) about the misadventures of Shaun, a young man trapped in a rut who is attempting to sort out his life, reconcile with his ex-girlfriend, and settle his issues with his mother and stepfather, whilst simulataneously having to cope with an apocalyptic uprising of the undead that is causing society to collapse.
 * Directed by Edgar Wright. Written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright.

A romantic comedy. With zombies. (taglines)

Shaun

 * As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he's talking about.
 * [Response to David.] GET FUCKED, FOUR-EYES!!!
 * [Repeated line about Phillip.] He's not my dad. He's my stepdad.
 * [repeated line, about his copy of Man Parrish's "Hip Hop Be-Bop"] That was the second album I ever bought!
 * [Seeing a zombie without an arm] Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!
 * How's that for a slice of fried gold?
 * [coming across zombified Pete] Ah! Sorry, Pete, sorry... listen, we're gonna borrow your car, okay, hope you don't mind and – ah – later on, if you're feeling better, w-we're going down to the pub, so you're m-more than welcome to, to... [whispered] join us.(A reference to The Evil Dead).
 * What's the matter, David? Never taken a shortcut before? (This line would be repeated in Hot Fuzz)
 * [distracting a zombie horde.] Come and get it! It's a running buffet! All you can eat!
 * "(after Ed gives him a beer) Thanks Babe."
 * Would anyone like... a peanut?
 * [As zombified Pete is biting Ed] PETE! I SAID, LEAVE HIM ALONE! [Shoots and kills zombified Pete.]
 * [When about to attack a zombified John] Okay, John, It's time at the bar!
 * [Ed points out that Pete is in the bar."] Fuck-a-doodle-doo!
 * [When Ed says he's sorry and Shaun smells his farts] Oh my god, that is rotten!

Ed

 * Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
 * [to David when he complains about the window] You were the one who broke it you twat!
 * Wa'ssup, niggas?
 * Yeeaah, boy!
 * [to Shaun as he goes to save Barbara] Don't forget to kill Phillip!
 * [repeated line.] Cock it!
 * [Indicates Hand movement of sex] "Café au lait" [Moans and points at Shaun] "Pour Vous"
 * [repeated line.] Two seconds.
 * WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA! (reference to Night of the Living Dead)
 * Can I get any of you cunts a drink?
 * Oi! Prick!
 * You believe everything you hear on TV?
 * Watch the leather (reference to Dazed and Confused)
 * Cornetto.
 * [repeating phone messages to Shaun] Well, your mum rang about going out tonight, then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
 * Who the bloody hell put this on?
 * There's a girl in the garden

Other Characters

 * Liz: If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going into that pub every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
 * Liz: PLEASE, CAN WE JUST CALM... THE FUCK... DOWN!
 * Liz: I can see what David is trying to say, even if he is being a Twat!
 * Diane: [describing the appearance of a zombie.] Vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.
 * Diane: [Repeated line] SHAUUUUN!
 * David: For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite!
 * David: I'm not the one being unreasonable, pickle!
 * Phillip: [On his zombie bite.] I'm perfectly alright, Barbara. I ran it under a cold tap.
 * Barbara: [final words.] It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?
 * Various: [to Shaun, repeated line.] You've got red on you.
 * Pete: [To Shaun] Sort your fucking life out, mate!
 * Pete: And the front door is open... again!
 * Pete: Well, fuck-a-doodle-doo!
 * Pete: It's four in the "fucking morning"!
 * Trisha Goddard: [re: a guest who still loves her undead husband.] You go to bed with it?!
 * Radio Newscaster: The Church of England has joined other extremist religious groups in proclaiming the phenomenon 'a sign of the coming apocalypse', although Downing Street is refusing to be drawn into a religious debate.
 * Jeremy Thompson: [During emergency news broadcast] In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain. I will repeat that: by removing the head or destroying the brain.
 * Jeremy Thompson: [On 'six months on' special] It's just not something you ever expect to have to say on air: "removing the head or destroying the brain". Extraordinary.
 * Television Newscaster: Reports that the infection was spread by rage-infected monkeys have now been dismissed as bull-

Dialogue

 * [Opening lines; Shaun and Liz are sitting in the pub, drinking.]
 * Liz: Shaun – d'you see what I'm saying?
 * Shaun: Yeah, totally.
 * Liz: I mean, I know he's your best friend, but you do live with him.
 * Shaun: I know...
 * Liz: It's not that I don't like Ed. Ed, it's not that I don't like you.
 * [Cut to reveal that Ed is actually standing next to them, playing the pub's "Ooh Ah Dracula" fruit machine]
 * Ed: It's alright.

 * Liz: It’d just be nice if we could-
 * Ed: [playing game in background.] Fuck!
 * Liz: – spend a bit of time together –
 * Ed: Bollocks!
 * Liz: – just you and me.
 * Ed: Cock it!

 * Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.
 * Shaun: What you mean?
 * Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
 * Shaun: No, I mean, what does 'exacerbate' mean?
 * Liz: Um, it means to make things worse.

 * Liz: Shaun, what I'm trying to say is, I need something a little more, rather than spending every night in the Winchester. I wanna get out there and do more interesting stuff, I wanna live a little, and I want you to want to want to do it too! [Groans] Listen to me, I'm beginning to sound like your mum – not that I know what she sounds like.
 * David: You still haven't met his mum?!
 * Shaun: [To David] Not yet!
 * Dianne: Don't you get along with your mum, Shaun?
 * Shaun: No, it's not that I don't get on with her-
 * David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
 * Shaun: No! I love my mum!
 * Ed: Yeah, I love his mum.
 * Shaun: Ed.
 * Ed: (sing song tone) She's like butttahhh!...
 * Shaun: Ed!
 * David & Di: Shaun!
 * Shaun: [To David & Di] Guys-
 * Liz: Shaun.
 * Shaun: Liz! Look, I understand what you're trying to say, OK, and I agree. We should get out there. We'll start tomorrow, alright? I'll book a restaurant, you know, the place that does all the fish? Just the two of us. Things will change, promise.
 * Liz: [Nodding] Really, Shaun?
 * [Shaun nods and sips his beer.]
 * Liz: Shaun?

 * [On leaving the front door open.]
 * Pete: I'm not saying it was you, Shaun.
 * Shaun: I know, man...
 * Pete: I'm saying it was Ed.

 * Shaun: [About Ed.] Well, I've known him since primary school. I like having him around, he's a laugh.
 * Pete: What, because he can impersonate an orangutan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo.

 * [Shaun is trying to make up with Liz.]
 * Shaun: Let's go out somewhere.
 * Liz: What, to the Winchester?
 * Shaun: [Laughs, then] Do you want to?
 * Liz: No, I don't fucking want to!!

 * Liz: You, hang out with my friends? A failed actress and a twat?
 * Shaun: Well, that's a bit harsh.
 * Liz: Your words, Shaun!
 * Shaun: I did NOT call Diane a failed actress!

 * Liz: You promised you'd quit smoking when I did!
 * Shaun: Well...
 * Liz: You promised you'd start going to the gym!
 * Shaun: I...
 * Liz: You promised you'd try red wine instead of beer!
 * Shaun: Eh...
 * Liz: You promised we'd go on holiday together!
 * Shaun: Well, we went to Greece, didn't we?
 * Liz: We met in Greece!
 * David: At a rave.
 * Liz: You promised things would change.
 * Diane: You promised you'd get us free cable.
 * Shaun: I'm working on that!
 * Diane: Okay.

 * [Zombie bangs on the door of "The Winchester."]
 * John (bartender): Sorry, we're closed.
 * [Zombie moans.]
 * Ed: Pisshead.

 * Shaun & Ed: [drunk, singing.] Doo doo doo doo. Base. White Lines, Visions dreams of passion, goin' thru my mind, and all the while I think of you!
 * [Shaun & Ed see two people holding each other with the woman vigourously 'kissing' the man.]
 * Ed: What's wrong haven't you had your tea?
 * [Ed & Shaun laugh.]
 * [The man in the backgound's neck goes limp as the woman eats his neck.]
 * Shaun & Ed: [resume singing.] Something of a phenomenon baby, telling my body to come along. White Lines, Blow away! Shhh!
 * [Shaun body slams Ed.]
 * Shaun & Ed: Ah, get higher baby, Ah, get higher baby, Ah, get higher girl! Ahh!
 * Zombie: [groans loudly.]
 * Shaun & Ed: [scoffs] Daba daba daba daba daba!
 * Zombie: [groans]
 * Shaun & Ed: Daba daba daba daba daba!
 * Zombie: [groans softer]
 * Shaun: What's he doing? He should say bass.
 * Ed: Or freeze.
 * Shaun & Ed: What a tit.

 * [Pete storms in and snatches album off of vinyl player]
 * Shaun: Don't scratch it! Wha- [Pete throws album out the window] That was the second album I ever bought!
 * Pete: It's four in the fucking morning!
 * Shaun: It's Saturday!
 * Pete: No, it's not. It's fucking Sunday, and I've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours 'cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! NOW CAN YOU SEE WHY I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY?!
 * Ed: Fuck, yeah!
 * Shaun: Woah, woah, Pete, look...all right, we had a couple of drinks...we split up with Liz tonight.
 * Pete: ...All right, just keep it down a bit.
 * Shaun: Sure. [Pete turns to leave]
 * Ed: [mutters] Prick. [Pete stops]
 * Pete: What was that?
 * Ed: Nothing. [Pete goes to swing at Ed; Shaun attempts to stop him]
 * Shaun: Whoa, we're all friends here–
 * Pete: He's not my friend, he's a fuckin' idiot!
 * Ed: What's that supposed to mean?
 * Pete: It means, why don't you FUCK OFF!?! You wanna live like an animal, go live in the shed, you thick fuck!
 * Shaun: Oh, leave him alone!
 * Pete: Stop defending him, Shaun! All he ever does is hold you back! Or does it make your life easier having someone around who's more of a loser than you are?
 * Shaun: [Hurt] What's that supposed to mean?
 * Pete: You know what I mean. I assume it was Liz that did the dumping. [pause, pointing at Shaun with a bandaged hand] Sort your fucking life out, mate!
 * Ed: Whassup with you hand, man?
 * Pete: [distracted] I got mugged on the way home from work.
 * Ed: [amused] By who?
 * Pete: [with growing irritation] I dunno, some crackheads or something. One of 'em bit me.
 * Ed: [feigning disbelief] Why did they bite you?
 * Pete: [angrily] I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T STOP TO ASK THEM!! [pause, clutching sinuses] Look, I've got a splitting headache, and your stupid hip-hop isn't helping. [he heads for the stairs, stopping at the front entryway] And the front door is open, AGAIN! [slams front door shut]
 * Ed: [Sulkily] It's not hip-hop, it's electro. Prick. Next time I see him, he's dead.

 * [Shaun is channel hopping; Channel 4 News]
 * Krishnan Guru-Murthy: Though no one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are calling it Judgement Day. There's...
 * [VH1, playing "Panic" by The Smiths]
 * Morrissey: – Panic on the streets of London...
 * [ITV News]
 * Newsreader: – as an increasing number of reports of...
 * [Football]
 * Commentator: – serious attacks on...
 * [Five News]
 * Newsreader: – people, who are literally being...
 * ''[Nature documentary, leopards eating a gazelle]
 * David Attenborough: ...eaten alive.
 * [Sky News]
 * Jeremy Thompson: The witness reports are sketchy, but one unifying detail seems to be that the attackers in many instances appear to be...
 * [T4]
 * Vernon Kaye: – dead excited to have with us here a sensational chart topping...

 * Ed: What's going on, Shaun?
 * Shaun: [on the phone trying to reach emergency services without any luck] Shit. It's engaged.
 * Ed:How about an ambulance?
 * Shaun: It's engaged, Ed.
 * Ed: [after a pause] Fire engine?
 * Shaun: [exasperated] It's one number, Ed, and it's busy! Okay? What'd you want a fire engine for, anyway?
 * Ed: Anything with flashing lights, you know?
 * Shaun: They still out there?
 * [Ed pulls back the curtains, revealing two zombies scratching at the window]
 * Ed: [shuts curtains, steps away contemplatively] Yeah. What you think we should do?
 * Shaun: Have a sit down?

 * [Shaun and Ed attempt to confront two zombies using Shaun's vinyl LPs as improvised throwing weapons]
 * Shaun: Now, some of these are limited-
 * ''[Ed throws the first record from the box, which misses and shatters on the wall of the house]
 * Shaun: Woah woah woah, what was that!?
 * Ed: I think it was Blue Monday.
 * Shaun: Man, that was an original pressing!
 * Ed: For fuck's sake.
 * [Looking through Shaun's LP collection for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies]
 * Ed: Purple Rain?
 * Shaun: No.
 * Ed: Sign o' the Times?
 * Shaun: Definitely not.
 * Ed: The Batman soundtrack?
 * Shaun: Throw it.
 * [Ed does so; it misses]
 * Ed: Okay... Ooh, Dire Straits?
 * Shaun: Throw it.
 * [Ed throws it – clipping Mary in the side of the head]
 * Ed: The Stone Roses?
 * Shaun: No.
 * Ed: Second Coming?
 * Shaun: I like it.
 * Ed: Ah! Sade.
 * Shaun: But that's Liz's.
 * Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you. [Throws it]
 * Shaun: Fuck this. I'm going to the shed.
 * Ed: I thought you said it was locked.
 * Shaun: [Crashes through the shed door]

 * Shaun: [calling up staircase] Pete? Pete?
 * Ed: Why can't we go up there?
 * Shaun: Because A) he might be one of them, and B) he might still be annoyed. [to stairs] Pete? Peeete? [to Ed] Maybe he already left for work?
 * Ed: [looks at the key rack on the wall] Well, then why didn't he drive? [grabs Pete's car keys] His keys are still here.
 * Shaun: Well, maybe he got a ride. He said he wasn't feeling well. [to stairs] Pete?
 * Ed: [loudly] OI, PRICK!
 * [There is a pause]
 * Both: He's not in.

 * Ed: What's the plan then?
 * Shaun: Right. We take Pete's car, we drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip ["I'm so sorry, Phillip."], then we grab mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a nice cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over.
 * Ed: Why have we got to go to Liz's?
 * Shaun: Because we do.
 * Ed: But she dumped you!
 * Shaun: I have to know if she's all right!
 * Ed: Why?
 * Shaun: Because I love her!
 * Ed': All right...gay. I'm not staying there, though.
 * Shaun: Why not?
 * Ed: If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.
 * Shaun: Okay. Take Pete's car, go around mum's, go in, deal with Phillip ["Sorry Phillip!"], grab mum, go to Liz's, pick her up, bring her back here, have a nice cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over.
 * Ed: Perfect!
 * Shaun: No, no, no, no, no, wait, we can't bring her back here.
 * Ed: Why not?
 * Shaun: Well, it's not really safe, is it?
 * Ed: Yeah, look at the state of it.
 * Shaun: Where's safe? where's familiar?
 * Ed: Where can I smoke?
 * Shaun: Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil ["Sorry!"], grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?
 * Ed: Yeah, boyyyeee!

 * Ed: Any zombies out there?
 * Shaun: Don't say that!
 * Ed: What?
 * Shaun: That!
 * Ed: What?
 * Shaun: That!! The "z" word. Don't say it!
 * Ed: Why not?
 * Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
 * Ed: Alright... are there any, though?
 * Shaun: [looking out the door mail slot, sees an empty street] I don't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that. [turns his head, sees a pack of zombies] Oh, no, wait, there they are.

 * Shaun: [About Ed] He's not my boyfriend!
 * Ed: [Handing beer to Shaun] It might be a bit warm, the cooler's off.
 * Shaun: Thanks babe. [winks]

 * David: I'm not staying here.
 * Liz: David don't do it, that's suicide.
 * Ed: I think he should go.

 * Ed: Big Al says so.
 * Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al also says dogs can't look up!

 * Shaun: If you get cornered...
 * [Hits himself on head with cricket bat]
 * Shaun: ...bash 'em in the head, that seems to work. Ow.

 * Shaun: Mum, look, what would you say if I told you that over the years Philip's been quite unkind to me?
 * Barbara: Well you weren't always the easiest person to live with
 * Shaun: Mum, he chased me round the garden with a bit of wood!
 * Barbara: Well you did call him a you-know-what!
 * Shaun: Oh, what, did he tell you that?
 * Barbara: Yes he did.
 * Shaun: Motherfucker!
 * Barbara: Shaun!
 * Shaun: Sorry mother--mum, mum, did you know that on several occasions... he touched me?
 * [long pause as Barbara turns to glare at Shaun]
 * Shaun: That wasn't true. Made it up, shouldn't have done that, sorry.

 * Barbara: Hello, Ed!
 * Ed: [sweetly] Hi, Barbara!
 * Barbara: My how you've grown!
 * Ed: [mumbles] Yeah, you'd better believe it.

 * Phillip: [referring to Ed's cassette tape blasting in the car] Can you please turn that noise down?
 * Barbara: Are you alright, dear? Would you like another tissue?
 * Phillip: I'd be fine if it weren't for that bloody racket!

 [Shaun is trying to persuade his mother to leave the zombified Phillip in the car]
 * Shaun: He's not my dad!
 * Barbara: (exasperated) Oh Shaun... ''
 * Shaun: Mum! He was, but he's not anymore!
 * Barbara: [Rushes to door] I really think we could... [Shaun stops her]
 * Shaun: Listen to me, Mum, listen! That's not even your husband in there! OK? I know it looks like him, but there is nothing of the man you loved in that car, nothing!

[Zombified Phillip switches the music in the car off]

 * Shaun: [After he kills a zombie, while Ed and David just idly stand there] Feel free to step in at any time!
 * Ed: You did alright.
 * David: Didn't want to cramp your style.
 * Shaun: What?!

 * Shaun: Everybody stay where you are, I'm going to check and see if the coast is clear.

[Shaun goes up the small ladder, looks for a moment, then comes back down]
 * Liz: Is it clear?
 * Shaun: ...No.
 * Liz: How many?
 * Shaun: Lots. [Camera pans up to reveal dozens of zombies staggering around The Winchester pub.]

 * (After Shaun has defeated a zombie with a rifle without firing it)
 * Ed: Why didn't you just shoot him?
 * Shaun: For the last time Ed, it's not...
 * [Gun misfires]
 * Ed: I knew it! I fucking knew it! I told you, Big Al was right!
 * [Shaun removes the dart imbedded in his skull]
 * Shaun: Okay. But dogs CAN look up!

 * Shaun: Phillip, have you still got the child-locks on?
 * Phillip: Safety first, Shaun.

 * [After Liz has broken up with Shaun; "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago, comes on the juke box]
 * Ed: [glaring at the juke box] Who the hell put this on?
 * Shaun: [With tears in his eyes] It's on random.
 * Ed: For fuck's sake... John, yes please, mate.

 * [After 'Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen comes on the pub jukebox, thus attracting zombies]
 * Shaun: Who the hell put this on?!
 * Ed: It's on random!
 * Liz: For fuck's sake!

 * [Shaun and Ed back up to the body of a man they've just hit with the car; Shaun rolls down his window]
 * Shaun: Excuse me... are you all right?
 * Ed: Aw, come on, why can't we just go?
 * Shaun: We've got to be sure. Hello?
 * Ed: He's going to be dead either way!
 * Shaun: Ed, that's not the point!
 * [The body rises and moans, zombified, at Shaun and Ed]
 * Shaun: Oh, thank God for that.

 * Shaun: [smugly.] What's the matter, David? Haven't you ever taken a shortcut?

 * [Shaun and Ed pull up to Barbara's house and sees Phil's Jaguar in the driveway]
 * Ed: Oh! Hello! Who's a pretty boy, then? [Whistles] You didn't tell me Barbara had a Jag. I've always wanted to drive one of those.
 * Shaun: Yeah, well, it's Phillip's, okay? He won't let anybody near it. Honestly, I put half a Mars bar in the glove box once and he chased me round the garden with a bit of wood.
 * Ed: Fuck. It's gorgeous.
 * [later exiting the house with Barbara and Phillip]
 * Shaun: Where’s the car?
 * Ed: Hmmm...I pranged it. [Moves to reveal wrecked car]
 * Shaun: You were parked.
 * Ed: Yeah. Guess we’ll have to take the Jag.
 * Ed: Yeah. Guess we’ll have to take the Jag.

 * [After Phillip has been bitten by zombies]
 * Phillip: You didn't call the doctor, did you?
 * Barbara: Well, I thought it might be best, dear.
 * Phillip: I'm perfectly alright, Barbara. I ran it under a cold tap.
 * Barbara: But Phillip...
 * Phillip: We had our jabs when we went to the Isle of Wight.

 * [Phillip is dying from his wounds]
 * Phillip: Shaun...
 * Shaun: Yes, Phillip, I got him to turn it down.
 * Phillip: Being a father... it's not easy.
 * Shaun: What?
 * Phillip: You were 12 when I met you, already grown up so much. I just wanted you to be strong and not give up because you lost your dad.
 * Shaun: Phillip, you don't have to explain...
 * Phillip: No, no, I do... I always loved you, Shaun. And I always thought you had it in you to do well. You just need...m-motivation. Somebody to look up to and...I thought it could be me. Would you just... take care of your mum? There's a good boy.
 * [Phillip dies]

 * David: We're in a pub! What're we going to do now?
 * Ed: Get a round in?

 * Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
 * David: What?
 * Shaun: The jukebox!

 * [After Shaun gets shouted at by Liz]
 * David: [Smugly] Basically, I'd say your nine lives are up, Shaun.
 * Shaun: Get fucked, four eyes! Why don't you go out with her, you love her so much?
 * David: What do you mean by that?
 * [Shaun rolls his eyes and storms off; David and Diane stand next to each other uncomfortably]
 * David: Well, I don't know what he meant by that.

 * Shaun: Hang on, I'll check to see if the coast is clear. [climbs the ladder of a child's slide; after checking over the fence for a moment, he comes back down] .......
 * Liz: Well... is it clear?
 * Shaun: No.
 * Liz: How many?
 * Shaun: Lots.

 * [Shaun is waiting impatiently through a busy signal on the cordless]
 * Shaun: Come On!!!!
 * Ed: Ain't you gonna thank me, then?
 * Shaun: For what?
 * Ed: Tidyin' up.
 * Shaun: [looks about] It doesn't look that tidy.
 * Ed: [peering at the coffee table, as though the beer cans were the only thing he missed] Well, I had a few beers when I finished.
 * Ed: Do you want your messages?
 * Shaun: What?
 * Ed: Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
 * Shaun: What?

 * [Repeated exchange]
 * Yvonne: Shaun! How are you doing?
 * Shaun: Surviving.

 * [As Shaun joins Ed in playing a videogame and presses a button on the joypad]
 * Videogame voice: Player 2 has entered the game.
 * Ed: Haven't you got work?
 * [Shaun presses button again and gets up]
 * Videogame voice: Player 2 has left the game.

 * Shaun: All right, I've got a car outside, but it's going to be a bit cramped, so has anyone got transport?
 * Dianne: Ooo, yes.
 * Shaun: Great, where?
 * Dianne: Oh, no. Well, I passed my test.

 * [While disguised as a zombie, Ed's phone rings]
 * Ed: Two seconds!
 * [He answers and chats on his phone, despite the horrified looks of the others, until Shaun knocks it out of his hand]
 * Ed: Oi! What are you doing?
 * Shaun: [Shouts] What am I doing?! What are YOU doing, you stupid moron?
 * Ed: Fuck off!
 * Shaun: [Shouts] YOU FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK FUCKING OFF!!!!!!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE STICKING MY NECK OUT FOR YOU AND ALL YOU EVER DO IS FUCK THINGS UP!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THINGS UP AND MAKE ME LOOK STUPID!!! WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO LET IT HAPPEN ANYMORE, OK??!!! NOT TODAY!!!!!!!
 * Liz: Shaun!
 * [Liz taps him on the shoulder. Shaun sees the hundreds of zombies staring at them]
 * Shaun: Oh.

 * [David points a gun at the newly deceased Barbara, An enraged Shaun breaks a bottle & holds it to David's neck]
 * Shaun: DON'T POINT THAT FUCKING GUN AT MY MUM!!!
 * Liz: Shaun, calm down!
 * [Ed breaks a bottle & holds it to David's neck as well]
 * Ed: DON'T POINT THAT GUN AT BARBARA!
 * Liz: Ed, don’t exacerbate things!
 * Ed: What does that mean?
 * Dianne: This isn’t exactly fair!
 * Ed: Here.
 * [Ed gives his broken bottle to Di, who points it at Shaun. Ed goes to the bar.]
 * Dianne: Thank you.
 * [Ed returns with a corkscrew, which he points at David's neck.]

 * [There is a girl standing in Shaun's garden, back to Shaun and Ed]
 * Shaun: Excuse me?
 * [No response]
 * Shaun: Excuse me?
 * [No response]
 * Shaun: Hellew?
 * [No response; Ed picks up a pebble and throws it off her back]
 * Ed: Oi!
 * [Girl turns round, a zombie]
 * Shaun: Oh, my God... she's so drunk! [laughs]

 * [Repeated exchange]
 * Ed: I'm sorry, Shaun.
 * Shaun: It's OK.
 * Ed: No, I'm sorry, Shaun.
 * Shaun: What?
 * [Smells Ed's fart]
 * Shaun: Oh, God, that's rotten!
 * Ed: I'll stop doing it when you stop laughing!
 * Shaun: I'm not laughing!

 * Shaun: I do not find it hard to keep my social life and my work life separate.
 * Worker: Shaun, it's Liz for you.
 * [Hands him the phone]

 * Liz: How many shells have we got left?
 * Shaun: Um...two. I suppose we could, you know, take a few of them out if they stand in a line.
 * Liz: I wasn't thinking about them.
 * Shaun: I know.
 * [Pause]
 * Shaun: What about Ed? There's only two shells.
 * Ed: I don't mind being eaten.
 * Shaun: How're we gonna do this?
 * Liz: Um...I don't know. Um...One of us has to go first.
 * Shaun: Well, m-m-maybe one should do the other, and then do themselves.
 * Liz: Oh, maybe you should do me. I'll only muck it up if I have to do myself.
 * [Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then shooting himself]
 * Shaun: You know, I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same evening.
 * Liz: What makes you think I'm taking you back?
 * Shaun: Well, you don't want to die single, do you?
 * Ed: Actually, I would like to be shot.

 * Liz: Goodbye, Ed. Love you.
 * Ed: Cheers!
 * Shaun: I love you too, Ed.
 * Ed: Gaaayy!

 * Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
 * Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
 * Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with cliches. But what I will say is this...
 * [Chuckling]'
 * Ed: It's not the end of the world.
 * [zombie's hand beats on the door]

 * [Shaun has just discovered the zombies have returned and has a horrified look on his face. Dianne is going through TV channels]
 * Ed: Liz? Erm... Have you got a quid?
 * Liz: Erm... [fumbles in her pocket and finds a pound coin] Yeah. [She hands it to him and he goes to the slot machine. Dianne continues changing channels]
 * Liz: [to Shaun] Never anything on, is there? [notices Shaun's horrified expression] What?
 * Shaun: [nervously] I think we might have a bit of a problem.
 * Liz: What do you mean?
 * Shaun: [glancing at the rattling door and whispering] They followed me.
 * Liz: I thought you said you gave them the slip.
 * Shaun: Yeah...
 * Liz: [whispering] Well, we'll just have to be extra quiet then, won't we? [a panicked look suddenly comes over her face as she remembers Ed is using the slot machine]
 * Shaun: What?
 * [The music on the slot machine plays to signal Ed's win]
 * Ed: Hey! I won!
 * Shaun and Liz: [simultaneously] ED NO! [they run to the machine] TURN IT OFF!
 * [They pull the plug out of the machine, but the damage is done. The zombies converge on the windows and door]

 * [During a stand-off, when David tries to shoot the recently-deceased Barbara]
 * David: You know I'm right, Liz. She's going to come back, and she's going to kill all of us. That's what your ex can't seem to realize!
 * Shaun: [Tearfully] That's what this is about, isn't it? It's just he doesn't like me! He's always hated me, and now he wants to shoot my mum!
 * David: She's not – !
 * Shaun: You never thought I was good enough, that I deserved her!
 * David: What are you talking about?
 * Shaun: Oh come on! We all know you're in love with Liz!
 * David: [Stung] That is not true!
 * Shaun: Yes it is!
 * David: That is not true!
 * Dianne: Yes it is.
 * David: What?!
 * Dianne: I know that you only hung around with me in college to be close to Liz, and when she knocked you back I was there to pick up the pieces. I've come to terms with that, Daffs. Why can't you?
 * David: Lizzy, I want you to know that my feelings for you have always been the same for -
 * Liz: David, please! We have slightly more pressing matters at hand!

 * Shaun: You're the one who's gone from being a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston!
 * David: I'm not a chartered accountant!
 * Shaun: Well you look like one!
 * Ed: YEEEEAH!
 * David: I'm a lecturer!
 * Shaun: You're a twat!
 * Ed: YEEEEAH!
 * David: She's not your mum anymore! In a minute, she'll be just another zombie!
 * Shaun: [Tearfully] Don't say that!
 * Ed: [referring to a statement Shaun said earlier] We're not using the "zed" word!
 * Liz: [exasperated] Please can we just calm...the FUCK...DOWN! [moves the gun in David's hands so it's now pointing to the floor rather than Barbara] [Everyone relaxes from their hostile positions]

 * "[After Shaun kills Barbara]"
 * David: Well....I think we're all agreed you did the right thing there.
 * "[Shaun viciously turns and punches David to the floor and he cocks his gun at Shaun]"
 * Dianne and Liz: David, NO! David.
 * David: "[He leaves after he couldn't bring himself to do it]" Right, I'm leaving.
 * Dianne: What?
 * David: I'm not staying here.
 * Liz: David, Don't it's suicide.
 * Ed: "[worriedly]" I think you should go.
 * David: We Will. We can run, We can defend ourselves.
 * Dianne: "[viciously]" What do you mean We?
 * David: What do you mean that I mean we?
 * Dianne: Opening that door now would be a very very silly thing to do.
 * David: You're gonna stay here with him.
 * Dianne: Look... Shaun....
 * David: After where he gotten us into!.
 * Dianne: YOU LET ME FINISH! Shaun didn't ask you to come here you came for the same reason I did because you didn't know what else to do. Now get away with that door this instant!
 * David: But.....
 * Dianne: DAVID!.
 * David: I'm so sorry, Dianne.
 * Dianne: Maybe I'm not the one who should be apologising too.
 * David: Shaun, "[Shaun glares at him venomously and angrily]" I'm.........

 * [Phillip dies in car next to Shaun]
 * Shaun: [Crying] Mum, it's Phillip! He's gone!
 * Barbara: Where's he gone?
 * Shaun: Mum! He's dead!
 * [Barbara turns for a second behind her]
 * Barbara: No he isn't!
 * [Shaun turns to Phillip – who has become a zombie]
 * [Everybody except Barbara screams]

 * [Shaun walks into the living room and finds Ed sleeping on the sofa]
 * Shaun: D'you want anything from the shops?
 * [Ed responds with his eyes still closed]
 * Ed: Cornetto.

 * [After hearing a report on TV about the zombies]
 * Ed: I think we should go out there.
 * Shaun: But the man said stay inside!
 * Ed: Oh, fuck the man!
 * Shaun: Look, so long as they're out there, we're safe. [window breaks as the zombies start to enter the flat]

 * [After zombified Pete walks into the Winchester with the other zombies]
 * Ed: Hey Shaun, look who it is!
 * Shaun: Fuck-a-doodle-doo!

 * Last lines of film
 * Game console: Player two has entered the game.
 * [Shaun reaches out to grab the remote. Zombified Ed tries to bite Shaun's outstretched arm]
 * Shaun: Ed! [shows him the remote]
 * Zombified Ed: [groans like he's saying "Sorry about that."]

Taglines

 * A romantic comedy. With zombies.
 * Buy milk. Call mum. Dodge zombies.
 * Bought milk. Called mom. Dodged zombies (American alternative)
 * Ever felt like you were surrounded by zombies?
 * This September, aim for the head.
 * In a time of crisis, a hero must arise... from his sofa.
 * It's just one of those days when you're feeling a little...dead.

Cast

 * Simon Pegg — Shaun
 * Kate Ashfield — Liz
 * Nick Frost — Ed
 * Dylan Moran — David
 * Lucy Davis — Dianne
 * Penelope Wilton — Barbara
 * Bill Nighy — Phillip
 * Jessica Stevenson — Yvonne
 * Peter Serafinowicz — Pete

title: Shaun of the Dead


text:
Talk:Last words in Shakespeare

--Aphaia 06:10, 23 Jun 2005 (UTC)

title: Talk:Last words in Shakespeare


text:
User talk:66.100.35.58

~ MosheZadka (Talk) 06:35, 23 Jun 2005 (UTC)

PS: Please see my comments in Talk:Family Guy. Thanks, ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 06:35, 23 Jun 2005 (UTC)

title: User talk:66.100.35.58


text:
The Order of the Stick

The Order of the Stick is a fantasy-based webcomic based on a Dungeons & Dragons-themed universe by Rich Burlew.

Strips 1-99

 * Belkar: Wait. I think I just failed a Spot check.
 * Haley: Really? I don't see anything.
 * Belkar: Exactly.
 * Strip 3: See Spot Spot

 * Elan: Hi, Haley. Look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen.
 * Strip 6: The Cleric is "In"

 * Roy: "Why did you think we were here?" [in this dungeon]
 * Belkar: "Well, I figured we'd wander around, kill some sentient creatures because they had green skin and fangs and we don't, and then take their stuff."
 * Strip 13: Plot, Ahoy!

 * Eugene Greenhilt: Hey, that deal was very clear: 'Til death do us part. Once I shuffle off the mortal coil, I'm free to play the field.
 * Strip 39: Spontaneous Artistic Expression

 * Belkar Bitterleaf: I have an idea. It starts with "s" and ends with "litting their throats."
 * Strip 72: Loose Ends

 * Xykon the Lich: I need you to Speak with Dead.
 * Redcloak: ... Um, OK, hello sir, how are you today? This is lovely weather-
 * Xykon the Lich: Not me, you moron!
 * Strip 95: Dead Men Tell Tales

Strips 100-199

 * Vaarsuvius: Now if you don't mind, I am somewhat preoccupied telling the laws of physics to shut up and sit down.
 * Strip 107: Defense is for Losers

 * Xykon: Y'know, I've destroyed entire towns, and the most I got from the surviving families were a few snarky comments. You, sir, have a serious problem with overreaction.
 * Strip 112: Shatter

 * Elan: It's true what they say: "Hard work may pay off in the long run, but laziness always pays off right now!"
 * Strip 126: Multiclass Struggles

 * Belkar: Tell me, is being a complete and utter moron a prerequisite for the class, or a side effect of taking a level?
 * Gortok: Let Gortok answer your question with a question: Who will be the moron after Gortok's white-hot anger crushes your little body into a mangled bloody pulp while Gortok sings a jaunty tune to accompany your unanswered cries for mercy?
 * Strip 132: Kindred Spirits

 * Roy: I dream of the day when I will learn to stop asking questions to which I will regret learning the answers.
 * Strip 188: A Matter of Perspective

 * Xykon: Sacrificing minions: is there any problem it CAN'T solve?
 * Strip 192: Everything Sits Better on a Ritz

 * Xykon: I think I just had an evilgasm.
 * Strip 197: A Change of Scale

Strips 200-299

 * Belkar: Well, as usual, if falls to Yours Truly to save the day by serving someone a heapin' helping of Mama Bitterleaf's secret family recipe for their own steaming entrails on a platter.
 * Strip 200: The Confrontation

 * Belkar: It's like the old song says: If I can kill it here, I can kill it anywhere.
 * Strip 206: Hidden Benefit of Being an Adventurer

 * Miko: By the Twelve Gods! I had no idea your carts were filled with filthy lucre!
 * Haley: HEY! I wash that lucre every day until it SHINES!
 * Strip 207: Now If Only We Could Organize the Fiends Somehow

 * Miko: The proper term is "smite evil", not "bump uglies."
 * Strip 212: Dirt Farm

 * Belkar: One order of gluttony with a side of corruption, please.
 * Strip 224: Groggy, Groggy, Groggy

 * Miko: By the Twelve Gods and in the name of Lord Shojo, I demand to know: Who removed the tag from this mattress?!?
 * Strip 227: AR&R

 * Belkar: Hey Sweet Thing, wanna hold my Rod of Lordly Might? If you push the right button, it might extend!
 * Strip 244: What? It's a Legitimate Magic Item

 * Belkar: It's as true today as when I started adventuring: "When in doubt, set something on fire."
 * Strip 270: Dueling Egos

 * Celia: Hey, I don't make the crazy rules, I just twist them to my purpose.
 * Strip 278: A New Strategy

Strips 300-399

 * Redcloak: So help me, if you make me sail a ship made of hobgoblin corpses across the ocean, I will find a way to make you pay.
 * Strip 300: Pick Your Doom

 * Roy: Truly, your wit has never been equaled. Surpassed, often, but never equaled.
 * Strip 327: The Test of the Mind

 * Nameless Wizard: Excuse me, sir, if you're done pretending I can't hear you because I'm a nameless NPC, I'll head off to that tavern there to get utterly drunk in response to my life's apparent meaninglessness.
 * Roy: Huh? Oh, yeah, whatever, have fun.
 * Strip 340: You Should Have Seen What He Did With the Corsage

 * Nale: Must... resist... urge to assert... heterosexuality! For the sake...of the plan!
 * Strip 365: Caught in the Act

Strips 400-499

 * Shojo: Look, O-Chul, I have two tasks that need to be completed. One involves three prisoners whose existence is now a state secret. The other involves cleaning up what came out of my cat's butt this morning. And Mr. Scruffy had a very upset tummy last night, didn't he? Didn't he?
 * Strip 404: A Paladin's Duty

 * Miko: You would stand between me and this evil murderer?
 * Hinjo: I'll stand between any two murderers I wish, thanks.
 * Belkar: Oooo, burned!
 * Strip 409: Intercession

 * Roy: He's doing it because he thinks that you've learned your lesson, and with my guidance, you'll stop resorting to violence to solve your problems.
 * Belkar: Ohhhhh, I get it. ... So, he's doing it because he doesn't really know me at all, then.
 * Roy: Pretty much.
 * Strip 420: The Trial of Belkar Bitterleaf (Abridged)

 * Vaarsuvius: Thrice-cursed Spell Resistance! It's almost like the universe is trying to deliberately force some form of arbitrary equality between those of us who can reshape matter with our thoughts and those who cannot.
 * Strip 437: Battle Momentum

 * Belkar: I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!!
 * Strip 439: Seeing Orange

 * Redcloak: Look, I'm pretty busy at the moment. I'll deal with this later.
 * Tsukiko: I'm pretty sure Xykon wanted you to deal with it now.
 * Redcloak: Well, what Xykon wants and what's a good idea tend to diverge significantly.
 * Strip 457: Anti-Human Resources

 * Xykon: Goddamn, it, I forgot how much pain tends to hurt!
 * Striip 459: Negative Feelings

 * Elan: Hooray! Our long luteless nightmare is over! ... This is just like when Roy got his sword fixed! ... Or when Haley got her voice back! ... Or when Vaarsuvius was turned back into an elf. ... Or when Roy was turned back into a boy. ... Or when I got a new magic rapier. Twice.
 * Daigo: Will you stop point out the repetitiveness of the B-plots and hurry up?!?
 * Strip 471: A Triumphant Return

 * Belkar: Sorry, Scarface. Looks like one of us has an appointment with that thing's esophagus, and I nominate you, on account of you not being me.
 * Strip 477: Shock and Awwwwww

 * Roy: So... I could have all the one-night stands I want, but I'd have to have them at my Mom's house ? Are you trying to make people feel guilty about sex ?
 * Roy's Archon: Actually, yes. We've found that our Lawful patrons generally expect it that way.
 * Strip 492: Things to Do in Heaven When You're Dead

Strips 500-599

 * Haley:Anyway, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is, I won initiative, so you guys get a sneak attack each. The good news is, I don't have to bother thinking up a second half to that joke, 'cause you're all dead now.
 * Strip 512: They've Had Time to Train, Too

 * Haley: This story is swiftly moving from fantasy to horror - and just my luck, I'm stuck in the role of the bimbo who runs down the alley away from the monsters. I swear, if I randomly fall down and break the heel of my boot, I'm going to find Wes Craven and kick his ass.
 * Strip 519: Nightmare on Blue Street

 * Haley: Belkar, can you handle fifteen?
 * Belkar: If I can't, we'll have to stop at the next town to buy me a pink frilly dress, 'cause it'll mean I'll have spontaneously turned into a preteen girl.
 * Strip 537: What Do You Think Comes in a Disguise Kit, Anyway?

 * Elan: Fight, fight, fight, fight the urge to say, "I told you so!"
 * Strip 556: Nuthin' But Net

 * Vaarsuvius: And once again, Probability proves itself willing to sneak into a back alley and service Drama as would a copper-piece harlot.
 * Strip 584: Improbable Causes

 * Kazumi: I'm a goddamn baby-making, life-taking MACHINE! Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make MORE in my TUMMY!
 * Strip 587: What to Expect When You're Expecting Assassins

Strips 600-699

 * Belkar: Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime.
 * Strip 612: Technically, the "Fish" Version is a Subset of This One

 * Belkar: Everyone tried so hard to block my path-- and in the end, all they really did was force me to learn how to climb mountains. All the better from which to pee on them, heh.
 * Number 622: Don't Hate the Player Character...

 * Nero: Call me old fashioned, but an evil ascension to power just isn't the same without someone chanting faux Latin in the backround.
 * Strip 635: I See a Red Robe and I Want to Paint it Black

 * Cedrik: A good way to get a decent person to do something horrible is to convince them that they're not responsible for their actions.
 * Strip 640: Madness

 * Crystal: Who's there?
 * Haley: Roland.
 * Crystal: Roland who?
 * Haley: Roland 'Itiative, and his four friends Sneak Attack, Sneak Attack, Sneak Attack, and Sneak Attack.
 * Strip 648: A Dish Best Served With +1d6 Cold Damage

 * Xykon: Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass! I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh?
 * Strip 657: Second Chance

Strips 700-799

 * Guard: How long do you think you'll be staying in the city?
 * Durkon: Och, geez ... I dunno. I've got a lot o' things ta do already ... At least 'til the end o' tha current plotline.
 * Guard: So, like, what? Twenty strips?
 * Durkon: Make it thirty. They always run long.
 * Strip 732: The Papers Chase

 * Haley: Turns out the head general for this empire is Elan's long-lost father.
 * Durkon: Wha? Yer kiddin'! Geez, wha be tha chances o' tha??
 * Elan: Ummm ...
 * Durkon: Och, right. Like, a hunnerd percent, in this comic.
 * Strip 740: The Great(ish) Escape

 * Vaarsuvius: (Upon witnessing a fat dragon fly on tiny wings) I should avoid casting any spells tonight, if only to give the laws of physics time to cry alone in the corner.
 * Strip 754: Maybe She Ate A Zeppelin

 * Tarquin: But you can't make an omelette without ruthlessly crushing dozens of eggs beneath your steel boot and then publicly disemboweling the chickens that laid them as a warning to others.
 * Strip 760: Realizations & Rationalizations

 * Tarquin: In fact, I have a few duplicate magic items that may help you. Do you have a Ring of Regeneration yet? I never leave home without mine.
 * Elan: Yeah, right. Like I would use your crazy evil ring that you probably, like, tortured somebody to death or something to give it magic.
 * Tarquin: Now that's quite enough young man. I am frankly offended that you would even suggest that I would do such a thing to--Wait, who do you consider a "somebody"?
 * Elan: Anybody!
 * Tarquin: Fine, fine, I'll keep the ring, then.
 * Strip 762: Just Trying to Help

 * Elan: But in the end--
 * General Tarquin: The end of what, Son? The Story? There is no end, there's just the point where storytellers stop talking.
 * Strip 763: Plotting Something

 * Tarquin: My name will be immortalized forever.
 * Elan: As a villain!
 * Tarquin: So what? Audiences always think the villain is cooler than the hero is, anyway. That's the beauty of it all, my son. If I win, I get to be a king. If I lose, I get to be a legend. I'll inspire a thousand more leaders to follow in my footsteps. And it'll all be thanks to you.
 * Strip 763: Plotting Something

 * Malack: --so then I said, "I don't care that you were late, Acolyte Prilak, I'm not going to repeat the conversation we all just had."
 * Durkon: Aye, why should everyone need ta listen ta the same thing o'er agin?
 * Malack: Exactly! I mean it was too wordy by half the first time.
 * Strip 764: Small Talk

 * Vaarsuvius: The chance of Elan succeeding at any given task is directly proportionate to how much effort he is expending on achieving its inverse.
 * Strip 776: A Sombering Oration

 * Kil-Kil: I don't mean to alarm you, General, but I think that halfling is force-feeding another man's intestines to one of our guards.
 * Tarquin: Oooooo, bonus action!
 * Elan: I can't tell if the cat is a good influence on Belkar, or Belkar is a bad influence on the cat.
 * Haley: Both, I think, but it probably still averages out somewhere south of Neutral.
 * Strip 781: Companions

 * Kil-Kil: I calculate that the empire turned a total profit of 66,435 gp on their capture.
 * General Tarquin: See? Why should I get upset, they paid for these entire games and then--
 * Escaping prisoner: (Throwing spear) HEY, TARQUIN!! Choke on this!
 * (The spear hits the wall right next to Tarquin's head, but he does not flinch.)
 * Kil-Kil: Correction: 66,437 gp.
 * Tarquin: (Evil grin) Their every move makes my victory more complete.
 * Strip 785: The Cost of Freedom

Strips 800-899

 * Vaarsuvius: I may be in error, but I believe the appropriate proclamation is "Sneak Attack, bitch."
 * Strip 800: Right Tool for the Job

 * Vaarsuvius: Welcome, however temporarily, to the Order of the Stick, Mr. Yukyuk. Continue this ratio of effectiveness-to-chatter, and I shall see if I cannot open up a position in our Short Dual-Wielding Murderer department. What say you to that?
 * Yukyuk: ...
 * Vaarsuvius: Perfection.
 * Strip 800: Right Tool for the Job

 * Redcloak: Normally, this sort of display is more my colleague's bailiwick...
 * Resistance fighter: (Realizing Redcloak has slaughtered the rest of their group) COMMANDER!
 * Redcloak: (While his minions tear down resistance banners) ...but your choice in decór forced me to summon my own interior decorators.
 * Redcloak: By which I mean they will be decorating mostly with your interiors.
 * Strip 825: Good Thing He's Already Partial to Red

 * Belkar: (Deafened by magic, already jumping to stab Nale) ELAN, IS IT COOL IF I KILL YOUR BROTHER WHAT CAN'T HEAR YOUR ANSWER SORRY!
 * Strip 862: Pop Goes Pop

Strips 900-999

 * Tarquin: Frankly, I’m surprised you agreed to show up. Our past differences aside, you of all people should be able to see the shape of this.
 * Julio Scoundrel: Oh sure, the wise old mentor who trained the hero always gets killed in these kinds of stories. That’s why I told him to get bent.
 * Strip 931: My Two Dads

 * Tarquin: I am not going to indulge you in your usual idiocy today, Scoundrel.
 * Julio Scoundrel: What, feeling shagged’’ already? But this time we’re doing something different! I was running out of ways to crash your wedding and rescue your bride anyway.
 * Strip 932: His Number One Fan

 * Tarquin: Can't you see that there are underlying problems with the structure of this scene??
 * Strip 933: Getting a Little Carried Away

 * Julio Scoundrel: I think that’s half your problem, T- You always think everything that happens is about you!
 * Strip 933: Getting a Little Carried Away

 * Tarquin: It has become clear to me that the only way you will accept your proper role is for me to utterly crush you here and now. So I am going to murder your lowlife girlfriend, burn this ship and everyone on it to ash, and chop off your hand. BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THESE THINGS ARE DONE!"
 * Strip 934: All Hands on Deck.

 * Tarquin: Elan! This arc isn't over yet! Where's the growth? You didn't lose anything! Nothing has changed! YOU GET BACK HERE AND GIVE THIS PLOTLINE A SATISFYING RESOLUTION THIS INSTANT!! ELAN! ELAN, THERE'S NO SENSE OF CLOSURE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! THIS IS A TERRIBLE ENDING!!!
 * Strip 936: End of the Line.

 * Belkar: I am going to shove the sunshine so far up where the sun don't shine that you will vomit nothing but warm summer days!!
 * Strip 957

On the Origin of PCs

 * Haley: Warning: Meat laced with sleep potion may cause drowsiness.
 * [Page 6]

 * Roy: ...Gee, thanks for this visit, Dad. I had almost forgotten how much of an anal retentive blowhard you are.
 * [Page 32]

 * Haley: Sneak Attack Upside the Head!
 * [Page 52]

Start of Darkness

 * Young Xykon: Zombification: it cures what ails you. Forever.
 * [Page 8]

 * Xyklon: Hey! Come back here! We're supposed to fight now!!! Sigh... guards, fetch the Ben & Jerry's.
 * [Page 25]

 * Female Goblin: Well... we could be dirt farmers.
 * Male Goblin: Nah, the humans, got all the good dirt. Lucky bastards.
 * [Page 37]

 * Redcloak: I'm so glad your conversion to a life-draining mockery of all that is beautiful has proven to be such a barrel of laughs.
 * [Page 66]

 * Eugene Greenhilt: When you're dead, you're never going to look back and say, "Darn, I didn't spend enough time on petty revenge."
 * [Page 79]

 * Xykon: I ripped off my own living flesh so that I wouldn't have to admit weakness. You're strictly little league compared to that. That right there? That's the difference between bonafide true Evil with a capital "E" and your whiny "evil, but for a good cause," crap. One gets to be the butch, and one gets to be the bitch - bitch.
 * [Page 109]

title: The Order of the Stick