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Eurotrip

Eurotrip is a 2004 film about a group of four young Americans and their (mis)adventures traveling around Europe in search of Scott's pen pal soul mate; Mieke in Berlin, Germany.
 * ''Directed by Jeff Schaffer. Co-written by Alec Berg and David Mandel.

No Europeans were harmed in the making of this film. taglines

Scott
Repeated line:
 * I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!
 * We're from the Manchester United fan club from [gulp] Ohio
 * I'm never drinking again.

Cooper

 * This isn't where I parked my car.
 * Haha look at Jamie's penis!
 * So, what's the etiquette on boners? Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
 * Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact. [Jamie looks up, interested] You made out with your sister, man!
 * Hot European Sex!
 * Later Bert, stay black bro!
 * (to Jenny) You're just a really cool dude with long hair.

Mad Maynard

 * [In bus being deliberately driven on left-side of motorway with all traffic swerving to side] Come on, you're on the wrong side of the road you snail eating poofs, fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers! Go on, you Gallic fucking garlic breath tossers! Piss off! Get in here and say that ya bloody Ita-i Shite-ies! C'mon! Fucking come and have it! You fucking beep!?! We'll beep you bastards all over your fucking nose! Fuck off! Go on, you French bastards! Get on the other side of the road, you pricks! Go on out of it! Fuck off!

 * If you're not a Manc, you're a wank!

 * Hey lads, That Wanker's got a Frog football shirt on, Let's give this Nancy a fucking good kickin', Come on lads, it's goin' off

Other

 * Weird Italian Guy: Mi Scusi!
 * Donny: Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday.
 * PC Mail Notification: beep-beep. Mail Motherfucker!
 * Madame Vandersexxx: He's American. How sad for you to grow up in a country founded by prudes. A country overrun with crime and illiteracy. A country where a man is forced to make sex to only one woman at a time, and one must learn the woman's name beforehand.

Dialogue

 * Voiceover: Congratulations, Hudson High Class of 2004.
 * Scott: There she is. Fiona! Hey.
 * Fiona: Hey!
 * Scott: Hey, you.
 * Fiona: Congratulations, graduate. [They hug]
 * Scott: Thanks, baby.
 * Fiona: And congratulations to you, Cooper.
 * Cooper: [Lean in to hug her] Aww. Thanks, baby!
 * Fiona: [She pushes Cooper back] Nice try.
 * Cooper: All right. See you at Wade's party tonight?
 * Scott: See you then. So, it's just you and me for the entire summer. Next year you graduate, join me at college. Just like we planned.
 * Fiona: Scott, we need to talk.
 * Scott: Yeah? About what?
 * Fiona: About me dumping you.
 * Scott: Huh?
 * Scott's father: There he is! The graduate and his beautiful girlfriend.
 * Scott's mother: [Shooting camcorder] Okay? Smile, you two! Action!
 * Scott: Dad, Mom, Grandma... Uncle Moke... uh... I'm gonna need a minute here, okay? [To Fiona] What do you mean, you're dumping me?
 * Fiona: I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.
 * Scott: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you.
 * Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.
 * Scott's father: You're looking good, you guys.
 * Fiona: Scotty, it's not you. It's me. There I go, lying again. No, it was you. You're just so... predictable.
 * Scott's mother: Smile!
 * Fiona: So, that's it. Here's your letter jacket back. Goodbye.
 * Scott: This isn't mine!
 * Scott's father: She's a keeper, huh?
 * Scott: Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Fiona!

 * Cooper: [Watching on computer] Let's see that again.
 * Video Scott: Fiona!
 * Cooper: This is just so brutal. And yet I can't look away. Bert, play it again. Come on.
 * Video Scott: Fiona!
 * Scott: Bert, get out of here!
 * Cooper: All right. Stay black, bro. [''Fist bumps him']
 * Bert: Okay. See you. [Walking in hallway] "Fiona!"
 * Computer: Mail, motherfucker!
 * Scott: Hey, I got one from Mieke. "Happy Herzlichen."
 * Cooper: Still writing that guy? I thought that was for German class.
 * Scott: Yeah at first, but we're actually becoming good friends. He's a really cool guy. "Dear Mieke, greetings from your American pen pal."
 * Cooper: Scotty, Girl Scouts have pen pals. Listen to yourself, all right? You met a "cool guy" on the "internet." This is how these sexual predators work. Next thing you know, he'll want to "arrange a meeting" where he will gas you, stuff you in the back of his van, and make a wind chime out of your genitals. Come on, let's go to Wade's.
 * Scott: All right. Screw it. Let's go. I'm not gonna let Fiona ruin my graduation night. Auf wiedersehen, Mieke.

 * [At Wade's party]
 * Jenny: What's up, losers?
 * Scott: What's up, Jenny?
 * Jenny: What's up, dude? Sorry to hear about Fiona. She's a whore.
 * Scott: That's very sweet of you. Thanks.
 * Cooper: Enough Fiona talk. Look around. There's gotta be 100 drunk girls. We should try to have sex with every one of 'em.
 * Jenny: Hello? Mixed company?
 * Cooper: What?
 * Jenny: I'm a girl!
 * Cooper: No, you're not! You're just a cool guy with long hair! So, where's your evil twin brother?
 * Jamie: Jenny!
 * Cooper: There he is. Hey, Jamie. In fine form, I see.
 * Jenny: Why'd you get me gin and tonic? I hate gin.
 * Cooper: You do? You guys are the worst twins ever!
 * Scott: When are you guys taking off?
 * Jenny: Tomorrow morning.
 * Scott: [To Wade tied up at a tree] Hey, Wade! Great party, buddy!
 * Jenny: Man, I am so excited! A whole summer, backpacking around Europe. You should've come with us instead of working for Dr. Dad, Scotty! It's gonna be so awesome!
 * Jamie: Yeah. I planned every detail of the trip to maximize the fun!
 * Cooper: You brought a guidebook to a party?
 * Jamie: Do you wanna see my itinerary?
 * Cooper: Do you wanna see my balls?
 * Scott: You guys decide where you're gonna go first?
 * Jenny: Paris! I can't wait.
 * Scott: So, have you guys decided where you wanna go first?
 * Jenny: Paris! I heard two years ago, Nicky Jager's sister, Debbie, met this wealthy French guy, and spent a month sailing the Mediterranean on his yacht. Isn't that just the most romantic thing you've ever heard?
 * Cooper: Stuck on a boat with a weird French guy? That sounds a little gay.
 * Jenny: It's not gay. I'm a girl.
 * Scott: Kinda gay.
 * Cooper: A little gay. I gotta piss like a pregnant woman.
 * [Frontman Donny of rock band Lustra taps on microphone to get attention]
 * Donny: Hey, listen up, everybody. Gotta a little special thing I'd like to do tonight. Going to play a little song for you about the nastiest, freakiest little sex puppet I know... Fiona. [Fiona bursts out from crowd and jumps on stage] This one's for you, baby. Happy anniversary. [Band starts playing] Scotty doesn't know, that Fiona and me, do it in my van every Sunday. She tells him she's in church. But she doesn't go. Still she's on her knees, and Scotty doesn't know... Oh, Scotty doesn't know... So don't tell Scotty, Scotty doesn't know... [Scott watches unimpressed]
 * Donny: Hey, listen up, everybody. Gotta a little special thing I'd like to do tonight. Going to play a little song for you about the nastiest, freakiest little sex puppet I know... Fiona. [Fiona bursts out from crowd and jumps on stage] This one's for you, baby. Happy anniversary. [Band starts playing] Scotty doesn't know, that Fiona and me, do it in my van every Sunday. She tells him she's in church. But she doesn't go. Still she's on her knees, and Scotty doesn't know... Oh, Scotty doesn't know... So don't tell Scotty, Scotty doesn't know... [Scott watches unimpressed]

 * [Cooper spying on 3 topless girls in a hot tub with two getting up to leave]
 * Girl 1: I hope we're just as popular in college as we were in high school.
 * Girl 2: We will be.
 * Girl 1: I know.
 * Girl 2: Who needs more Chablis?
 * Girl 1: Candy, wanna come with?
 * Candy: No, I'll stay here.
 * Cooper: Well, there's your R-rating right there. [He jumps into hot-tub] Whoops! Holy cow! Oh, this isn't where I parked my car!
 * Donny: I can't believe He's so trusting. While I'm right behind you thrusting.
 * Candy: Cooper Harris, you're a pig!
 * Cooper: Uh... Candy, you should clean that off before you go.
 * Candy: Clean what off?
 * Cooper: You got a little something on you.
 * Candy: Where?
 * Cooper: Right there. It's like a smudge, or something.
 * Candy: Where?
 * Cooper: It's like dirt, or something. Just go like this.
 * Candy: Is it off?
 * Cooper: No, keep rubbing it.
 * Donny: I did it with her on his birthday.
 * Cooper: Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm... No, it's just not coming off.
 * Candy: What is it?
 * Cooper: Maybe tree sap or something. Try pinching it. No, it's just not coming off. I'll tell you what. Lick your fingers, get some saliva going.
 * Candy: Like this?
 * Cooper: Yeah. Again, not enough saliva.
 * Candy: Is it off yet?
 * Cooper: Fine, I'll do it. Come here.
 * [Two girls come back with 3 football jocks]
 * Girl 1: Oh, my God! Candy! Cooper!
 * Cooper: Hey... This isn't where I parked my car. Hey. This band rocks! Yeah!
 * Cooper: Fine, I'll do it. Come here.
 * [Two girls come back with 3 football jocks]
 * Girl 1: Oh, my God! Candy! Cooper!
 * Cooper: Hey... This isn't where I parked my car. Hey. This band rocks! Yeah!

 * Scott: [Turns attention to computer] Hey, Mieke. [Reads e-mail aloud] "Dear Scott, I was very sad to hear about your lady woman Fiona dumping you. Since you no longer have a girlfriend, maybe I could come to America "and we could get to know each other better. Perhaps we could... "zussamen." What the fuck is "zussamen"? [Looks up dictionary] "Arrange a meeting." No, no, no! Come on! Cooper was right! This guy wants to have sex with me. [Starts typing] Listen, Mieke... I don't want to arrange any meetings with you, you sick, German freak. So please keep your hands off my genitals, and never write to me again, and don't come to America. Goodbye." [Falls off chair] Oww. [He wakes up in bed and sees Bert at his computer] I'm never drinking again.
 * Bert: Oh, that's nice.
 * Scott: Bert, what are you doing?
 * Bert: Reading your email.
 * Scott: Don't do that. Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
 * Bert: Oh, I'm sorry... but somebody pissed all over mine last night. Wow. I can't believe this German chick wants to come here and hook up with you.
 * Scott: I don't think so, buddy. Mieke's a guy.
 * Bert: No, it says right here, "trauriges madchen." "I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona." Fuckin' A, Scott. I'm taking "Intro to German," and even I know that.
 * Scott: Come here. He sent me a picture, retardo. See? That's a picture of Mieke and his cute cousin, Jan.
 * Bert: No, retardo. That's Jan, a man's name, and that's not "Mike," it's "Mieke," a common German girl's name, similar to our Michelle. I hope you wrote her back and told her to come visit! [Scott's eyes widen in revelation] You didn't?! You thought she was a guy! I'm getting the video camera! Ha! What an asshole!
 * Scott: [At computer] No! No! No! "Address blocked"?! "Email not delivered!" No... come on!
 * Cooper: [Bounding into room] Hey, Mom made waffles! What's going on?
 * Scott: I'm in love with my penpal! I'm in love with Mieke!
 * Cooper: Okay, okay, you know what? I was actually expecting this, and frankly, [Starts rubbing Scott's back] no, listen, I'm flattered that you picked me to come out to first. And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause I think they already know.
 * Scott: No, you idiot. Mieke's a girl.
 * Cooper: No, no, no, I get it, yeah. He's the girl, then you're the girl. Sometimes you're both the girl. [pause] Right? Right? That's hot. But whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.
 * Scott: Will you stop? Look, come here. Look at this picture.
 * Cooper: Wow. Who's the hot chick?
 * Scott: That's "Mike." I mean, Mieke.
 * Cooper: That's who you've been writing to all this time?
 * Scott: Until last night, when I took your advice and told her to keep her "hands off my genitals."
 * Cooper: Given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.
 * Scott: This is a total disaster.
 * Cooper: Oh, come on. It's not that bad. Though she is really hot.
 * Scott: You're not listening. I don't even care what she looks like. Mieke and I had this incredible bond. I told her things I couldn't even tell you.
 * Cooper: Like what?
 * Scott: Nothing. It's a figure of speech.
 * Cooper: No, seriously. What?
 * Scott: Nothing. The point...
 * Cooper: You like me better, right?
 * Scott: This girl is not only smart and funny, and stunningly beautiful, but until I screwed up, she wanted to come all the way to America, just to be with me.
 * Cooper: So do something about it.
 * Scott: What can I do? She blocked her email account, her phone number's not listed. The only thing I know is she lives in Berlin.
 * Cooper: So go to Berlin.
 * Scott: I can't just go to Berlin, Coop.
 * Cooper: Why not?
 * Scott: Because... I just can't, Okay? I'm supposed to work for my dad this summer. It looks good on my med school application.
 * Cooper: Oh, Jesus, Scotty! Man, Fiona was right. You're so predictable.
 * Scott: [Face lights up in revelation] I'm going to Germany.
 * Cooper: No... we're going to Germany.
 * [Scott and Cooper at the airport]
 * Scott: How are we going to get to Germany?!
 * Cooper: Don't worry. I've got it covered.
 * Scott: We're going to be couriers?
 * Cooper: Best way to get a cheap flight. We just have to carry their packages, then drop them off when we get there. My cousin did it going to India.
 * Scott: Yeah?
 * Cooper: Of course, he ended up using a public restroom in New Delhi and they had to cut off his leg. You know... but he got there cheap, is what I'm saying.
 * Airline desk attendant: Okay, I don't have anything to Germany for a week. But I can get you both to London today for $118. Anything else?
 * Cooper: Europe is the size of the Eastwood Mall. We can walk to Berlin from there.
 * Scott: Cooper, England's an island.
 * Cooper: Okay, swim. Whatever. We'll take it.
 * [Airborne on a plane]
 * Scott: Hey. Thanks for coming with me. I know you had that internship at the law firm this summer.
 * Cooper: Well, forget about the law firm. And don't thank me. I should be thanking you. This trip is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to broaden my sexual horizons.
 * Scott: What are you talking about?
 * Cooper: I'm talking about crazy European sex.
 * Scott: Ah.
 * Cooper: You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe, because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright, which is a series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures.
 * Scott: You've really thought a lot about this, haven't you?
 * Cooper: It's my passion.
 * [In London at the Thames shore]
 * Scott: Come on, come on! The adventure begins. Welcome to jolly old England.
 * Cooper: Yeah, breathe that sweet, sexy, European air. Oh. [Takes out cellphone]
 * Scott: What is that?
 * Cooper: It's the phone they gave me at the law firm. Yeah, it's pretty neat, huh? Works anywhere. Yeah? Excuse me. Cooper here. Hello, Mr. Walters. Yes, sir, I'm down in file storage. Um, hang on one second. [He picks at teeth and eats it] No, sir, I can't find the Gutterman file anywhere. Yes, sir, I'll keep looking. I don't rest until I find it.
 * Scott: Didn't tell your boss you were leaving the country?
 * Cooper: They would've stopped paying me. It seemed easier. So, where to?
 * Scott: I don't know. First bus to Berlin doesn't leave till tomorrow. What do you wanna do?
 * Cooper: Got the Tower of London... there's Buckingham Palace.
 * Scott: Uh... There's no drinking age.
 * Cooper: There you go! Come on. [They walk off] Hey! "The Fiesty Goat."
 * [They enter the bar and Scott naively walks up to car counter]
 * Scott: All right! What do you wanna... [Turns around to study bar patrons who all go silent, turn around and stare with one hooligan stubbing out a cigarette on his arm] Soccer Hooligans!
 * Cooper: Hey... This isn't where I parked my car. [They turn to walk out and are thwarted by Maynard]
 * Mad Maynard: Oye, Who the bloody hell are you? This is private members bar exclusively for the supporters of the greatest football team in the world...... Manchester United. Now please enlighten me... Who the fuck are you?
 * Cooper: That is a good question and... Scotty?
 * Scott: We're the Manchester United Fan Club... from Ohio
 * Mad Maynard: If you are the Manchester United Supporters then sing the Manchester United song.
 * Scott: Excuse me, I'm sorry I'm not much of a singer.
 * Mad Maynard: [He grabs a bottle and smashes it on the floor] OI... SING!
 * Scott: "My baby takes the morning train, he works from 9 to 5 and then, he takes another home again, to find me watching... [pause] The Manchester United Football team! the best freakin' team in all the land woohoo!"
 * Mad Maynard: Pretty good... pretty damn good lads, right! [All bar patrons faces light up in approval]
 * Mad Maynard: [He grabs a bottle and smashes it on the floor] OI... SING!
 * Scott: "My baby takes the morning train, he works from 9 to 5 and then, he takes another home again, to find me watching... [pause] The Manchester United Football team! the best freakin' team in all the land woohoo!"
 * Mad Maynard: Pretty good... pretty damn good lads, right! [All bar patrons faces light up in approval]

 * Mieke's boyfriend: I've unblocked your email address, but this Scott is not responding.
 * Mieke's: He was the one. I was going to give myself to him.
 * Mieke's boyfriend: Perhaps you should give yourself to someone else... fraulein. [He sweeps books off desk and picks up Mieke laying her on it kissing passionately]

 * [Scott wakes up at top of double decker bus in motion]
 * Scott: I'm never drinking again. Coop, wake up.
 * Cooper: Oh, man, that was a wild night.
 * Scott: You think?
 * Cooper: Scotty, where the hell are we going?
 * Scott: Don't worry. If anything bad happens, my parents will find us.
 * [In the backyard]
 * Scott's mother: Honey, where's Scotty?
 * Scott's father: Cooper said they were going camping.
 * Scott's mother: Oh, that's nice. And where's Bert?
 * Scott's father: Fuck if I know.
 * Mad Maynard: Hey! How are you, you scalawag! Look, given the current geopolitical climate, all European countries should have a seat at the table.
 * Cooper: Right.
 * Mad Maynard: Except those fucking Ities. I hate them Italian bastards. You know what I mean?
 * Scott: Excuse me.
 * Mad Maynard: Hello, boyo!
 * Scott: What the hell happened last night?
 * Mad Maynard: You got steamed up, pissed as a fart. Too much sauce, son! Don't worry. We come and got ya, so you wouldn't miss the trip.
 * Scott: What trip? Where are we going? What do you mean, where are we going?
 * Mad Maynard: We're going to see the Mighty Reds do the frogs in Paris. Aren't we, boys? [All hooligans break out in cheers] Yeah!
 * Cooper: [To hooligan] Why are you yelling at me?
 * Cecil: [with heavy Mancunian accent] So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yardballs!
 * Cooper: Wow. You guys are on a completely different level of swearing over here.
 * Scott: Coop? Cooper, we're going to Paris.
 * Cooper: I know. Cecil told me.
 * Scott: Mieke's in Berlin.
 * Cooper: We're not going to Berlin.
 * Scott: What are we gonna do? We need a plan.
 * Cooper: See what I'm talking about? This is predictable Scotty talking. Relax. Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. It's a nothing commute.
 * Scott: That's why France and Germany have always been allies.
 * Hooligan: Aye, allies.
 * Scott: The twins. The twins are in Paris, right? We can call them. They could help. Let me see your phone.
 * Cooper: Okay, but I'm only supposed to use this for business calls. [Scott snatches the phone] Hey, don't...
 * [Bus arrives in paris]
 * Mad Maynard: [Spots a supporter of the rival team] Hey, lads! That wanker's got a frog football shirt on! Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking! Come on, lads, he's going off! [All the hooligans charge after the man]
 * Scott: All right. Twins said they'd meet us here. Look at that! There they are. Come on. Jenny! Jamie! Hey! Come here!
 * Jenny: No, no. No, no, no! Scott, bienvenue a Paris!
 * Scott: Thank you.
 * Cooper: Is that a new camera?
 * Jamie: It isn't just a camera, this is a Leica M. Uber-sensitive exposure settings, legendary cloth shutter system.
 * Cooper: Let me see that thing.
 * Jamie: No can do. I spent four years tutoring lacrosse players to pay for it, so nobody touches my camera but me.
 * Cooper: It's like your wiener.
 * Jamie: No, it's not... Jenny...
 * Jenny: Cooper, leave him alone. Wow, I can't believe you came all the way to Europe for a girl.
 * Cooper: Wait, not just any girl. Show her the picture, Scotty. She makes girls in our high school look like walruses.
 * Jenny: I'm a girl from your high school.
 * Cooper: No, I mean "girl" girls.
 * Scott: Guys, we're wasting the whole day here. We're in Paris! Let's go to the Louvre!
 * In unison: To the Louvre!
 * Cooper: So, you guys wanna stay here, or should we check out the huge line at the Eiffel Tower?
 * Jamie: Here's a fun fact. Voltaire contracted syphilis two blocks from here. Should we go?
 * Cooper: Can we please get out of here? This guy's really creeping me out.
 * Scott: Who, robot man? He's just trying to feed his robot family.
 * Cooper: I really don't like him.
 * Scott: Why? Because he's doing this?
 * Cooper: Okay, seriously, don't do that. Cooper. Do not hate me.
 * Scott: I am familiar with over 600 dance moves and I am programmed to get... freaky. You're just upset because people like me better. It's okay. [Robotman pushes him] Oh!
 * Jenny: Fight! Fight!
 * Cooper: Break the leg shot!
 * Scott: Ha! Ha! Ha!
 * Jamie: Don't look in his eyes, Scotty.
 * Scott's friends: Ohhh! That was not cool. Oh!
 * Scott: Guys, let's go. Come on.
 * Robotman: Error! Error! Error!
 * [They are all in a restaurant]
 * Scott: How cool is this? It's a shame we only get to spend one day together. Why don't you come to Berlin?
 * Jamie: Umm, no.
 * Scott:Jamie, come on. In a few months, we go to different colleges. This could be the last chance the four of us are together like this. Plus, we're in Europe. Huh? This should be the trip of a lifetime. There's no way we should split up. All right, this table is now Europe, Okay? Excuse me. We are right here, in Paris, and I have got to get to Mieke, who is over here, in Berlin. If you come with us, I'm sure there's a ton of great stuff to see along the way. We can go to Denmark.
 * Jenny: I love Denmark.
 * Cooper: We gotta hit Amsterdam.
 * Scott: Definitely.
 * Jamie: And the cathedral at Cameret!
 * Scott: Yeah... Maybe. We'll see.
 * Cooper:Whatever.
 * Scott: If there's time. Come on! I really want you to be there when I meet Mieke.
 * Cooper: Fine.
 * Scott: Excellent! All right! A toast!
 * Cooper: Yes!
 * Scott: To Mieke! To Europe!
 * In unison: To Europe! Merci. Berlin, here we come! All right.
 * Cooper: Fine.
 * Scott: Excellent! All right! A toast!
 * Cooper: Yes!
 * Scott: To Mieke! To Europe!
 * In unison: To Europe! Merci. Berlin, here we come! All right.

 * Jamie: Better let me hold on to those.
 * Cooper: What the hell is that?
 * Jamie: It's a traveler's money belt. Frommer's says if you have one of these, no one can rob you of anything.
 * Cooper: Except your dignity.
 * Jamie: No, you just put that in your... wait, what?
 * Cooper: Come on, guidebook. Let's go.
 * Cooper: [Woman bending over at vending machine] Check it out. European ass. [Woman turns around and it's Jenny]
 * Jenny: What's up?
 * Cooper: Jesus, Jenny. I thought you were some... girl. Come on. Platform 4.
 * Jenny: Thanks.
 * Jenny: [Can shoots out machine and rolls along floor] Damn!
 * Christoph: [He catches the can] I believe this is yours. Pleased to meet you. My name is Christoph.
 * Cooper: Jenny, let's go! Move it!
 * Jenny: Those are my friends. We're supposed to go to Berlin...
 * Cooper: Jenny!
 * Jenny: I'm coming!
 * Christoph: So, it was really nice to meet you. The pleasure was all mine.
 * Jenny: Jennifer.
 * Jenny: Jennifer.

 * [They're riding the train and Cooper starts singing through closed lips; "Scotty Doesn't Know" with Scott's glare]
 * Cooper: What? You gotta admit, it's a really catchy tune.
 * [They all join in singing with projection]
 * [Italian man enters train compartment and sits between Jamie and Cooper squeezed in]
 * Scott: You know, there are a lot of other empty compartments.
 * Italian man: Huh? Ah! Si, si. Pardon me. [Train goes through tunnel and emerges with the man got his hand on Jamie's knee who looks down at his hand who points to it with an open hand] Eh? Ohhh... Scusi. Mi scusi. Hi. [Jamie and Cooper rush to other seat side but Jamie is pushed away, man pats Jamie's seat spot] Buongiorno. [Train goes through tunnel and emerges with man massaging Jamie's shoulders]
 * Jamie: What the hell are you doing?!
 * Italian man: Mi scusi, mi scusi.
 * Jamie: No! No, no, no!
 * Scott: Uh-oh.
 * Jamie: What?!
 * Scott: Big tunnel!
 * Jamie: Who's touching me?! Scotty, is that you?! Who's touching me?! Scotty! Oh!
 * [Tunnel emerges with all of them on other compartment side with man on their side with his pants off and smoking a cigarette]
 * Italian man: Mi Scusi. Buongiorno. [Man is thrown out of compartment and his pants thrown out after who picks it up and walks away]
 * Italian man: Mi Scusi. Buongiorno. [Man is thrown out of compartment and his pants thrown out after who picks it up and walks away]

 * Jamie: Crans Sur Mer. We change trains here.
 * Cooper: Well, we got a couple of hours to kill. What's there to see in this town?
 * Jamie: Hello? The Monument des Poissonieres. It's a monument to all the local fishermen who were lost at sea. Frommer's says it's supposed to be..."quite moving."
 * Cooper: What the hell is wrong with you, C-3PO? We're here to see Europe, not some crappy statue. I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the train gets here.
 * Jenny: Hmm. Says here this town has a famous nude beach.
 * Cooper: All right, we can't all just lie around all day. We gotta experience the culture firsthand. Let's go exploring!

 * Cooper: So, what's the etiquette on boners? Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
 * Scott: Wait, wait. Does "nude beach" mean we have to get naked, too?
 * Cooper: Of course. Do you think you can go an hour without your currency colostomy bag?
 * Jamie: As long as this thing has our money and passports in it, it's not coming off, and my trunks won't come off, either.
 * Cooper: Come on. You came all the way to Europe. Can't wimp out now. Okay. All right, on the count of three. Here we go. [They takes off pants] Look at Jamie's penis!
 * Jamie: Very funny. Very funny.
 * Cooper: All right. Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin! Here we go. Really? Yes. Mm-hmm. Hello, ladies! [They run to beach only to realise it's all men]
 * Beach visitors: Ladies? Bitches?
 * Cooper: Eww! What a rip! There's no nude girls here, just guys like us looking for nude girls. I don't understand!
 * Jamie: [Turns over a page in Frommer's with a you-should-know-better face] Crans Sur Mer has one of the best nude beaches on the continent. However, during the summer, the European women are chased away by gawking male tourists, so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists head to the deserted beach next to the Monument des Poissonieres.
 * Cooper: There's so many penises.
 * Jamie: Frommer's tried to tell you, but you just didn't listen.
 * Scott: This is the biggest sausage fest on earth. It's the international house of sausage.
 * Jenny: Hey! Thanks for waiting.
 * Cooper: You're not missing anything. It's all guys.
 * Jenny: At least the sun's out. [Takes off sweater and hat, starts shaking hair]
 * Cooper: Holy crap!
 * Jenny: What? I thought this was a nude beach.
 * Jamie: [Heavily dramatised] No...! [Throws himself past Jenny in the style of an action film cliche]
 * Jenny: Huh?
 * Jamie: No.
 * Jenny: What? What are you doing?
 * Jamie: Jenny, you gotta cover up.
 * Beach visitors: Girl? [They all start lumbering collectively on them zombie-style] Girl! Ooh, girl. Girl... girl. Girl... girl...
 * Jamie: Run! I'm not gonna make it. Go on without me.
 * Scott: All right. See ya.
 * Beach visitors: Chica! Chica! Chica! Chica!

 * [Riding the train]
 * Cooper: Reading Mieke's old emails again?
 * Scott: Yeah. You know, she said I might be the one? That's huge. I've never been "the one" before. Thought I was "the one" with Fiona, but turns out I was, what?
 * Cooper: Look, you got nothing to worry about. You'll show up and sweep her off her German feet.
 * Scott: Thanks. Yeah. I will, won't I?
 * [Dream sequence]
 * Mieke: I'm so sad and lonely. I'm so sad and lonely. I just wish someone would show up and sweep me off my German feet.
 * Scott: Mieke! I'm here.
 * Mieke: Scotty!
 * Scott: About that last email. I'm so sorry...
 * Mieke: The past is the past. You're here now. I've been saving myself for you. Let us make love for one whole month. Touch me, Scotty.
 * Scott: Okay.
 * Mieke: Oh, Scott... [Scott wakes up and realises Mieke is actually Italian man]
 * Italian man: Mi bello... Mi scusi! [Scott starts screaming, with Italian man and other three joining in]
 * Song lyrics: Hot stuff baby this evening. Gotta have some hot stuff. Gotta have some love tonight. Hot stuff.
 * Scott: Guys, our train doesn't leave till morning. Where will we sleep?
 * Cooper: What do you mean, sleep? We can sleep on the train tomorrow. This is the best that could've happened. We're in Amsterdam! This is the drug and sex capital of Europe! [Holds up flyer] Take a look at this. "Club Vandersexxx. The red light district's hottest sex club." We have to check it out. Who's with me? [They stare indifferently] I'll go. Fine. Since no one else is willing to go, I'll just go myself.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: I see. You're waiting for me "
 * Cooper: This is definitely where I parked my car!
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Hello there. Welcome to Club Vandersexxx... Amsterdam's most erotic club, where your every fantasy will be fulfilled.
 * Cooper: Also says I get a free T-shirt with flyer.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: He's American. How sad for you to grow up in a country founded by prudes. A country overrun with crime and illiteracy. A country where a man is forced to make sex to only one woman at a time, and one must learn the woman's name beforehand.
 * Cooper: It was horrible.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: I know. But you can come with me... and let the Vandersexxx begin.
 * [Scott and Jenny are at "Groovy Cakes Amsterdam"]
 * Song lyrics: Marijuana in my soul. Your iguana in my hall.
 * Scott: I can't believe we're doing this!
 * Jenny: Don't worry. Hash brownies are totally legal here.
 * Bakery server: [Lays down plate of brownies] You're gonna enjoy these, man. These are magical!
 * Song lyrics: I like to smoke marijuana "
 * Scott: You wanna do this?
 * Jenny: Yeah. [They dig in]
 * Jamie: Hi.
 * Camera store clerk: Hi.
 * Jamie: I need a new battery for my camera, and while you're at it, it could use a cleaning.
 * Camera store clerk: Wow. Is that a Leica M6?
 * Jamie: Actually, it's an M7. It's got the built-in light meter.
 * Camera store clerk: It's so beautiful. So sleek, so powerful. How's the new lens system?
 * Jamie: Makes the Nikon look like a disposable.
 * Camera store clerk: You really know your cameras. And you're very cute.
 * Jamie: Me? Really?
 * Camera store clerk: I'm going on break. I was going to step out back and have a cigarette. Would you like to join me?
 * Jamie: I don't smoke.
 * Camera store clerk: Neither do I. Hold on, hold on. What is it? This is great! You're so innocent. Let's change that... shall we? What would you like me to do?
 * Jamie: Well... I don't really know... I guess I really haven't done that much. I haven't really found the time, with all my extracurriculars, and model U.N., advanced placement classes, after-school tutor... ing!
 * Jamie: Ah! Gosh, you really like cameras!
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Sometimes, we find our clients are so overwhelmed with the pleasure, that they sometimes scream out, "no," when really they mean, "yes." And this is why we have the safe word.
 * Cooper: The "safe word"?
 * Madame Vandersexxx: If at any time the ecstasy gets too great, you just use the safe word. Until we hear the safe word, we will not stop.
 * Cooper: Yeah, right. Stop.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: All right. We're going to start slowly, teasing you with a little light erotic foreplay.
 * Cooper: Whee! Oh, yes, ladies! [Girls tie Cooper to table]
 * Madame Vandersexxx: On, on, vandersexxx! [Girls disappear, curtains automatically pull away, lighting changes to militaristic BDSM-style and she pulls away jacket to reveal leather dress] Hans! Gruber!
 * Cooper: Hi. So, are the girls coming back?
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Administer the testicle clamps!
 * Cooper: Huh? What? Hey! Safe word! What is that?! That's not a word, it's a... "Fluggen-kliggin-kien?" Fluggen!
 * Mugger: Okay, mister, don't move!
 * Jamie: Excuse me?!
 * Mugger: Shut the hell up!
 * Jamie: Oh, brother! Please don't hurt me. [To Camera store clerk] Oh, no... you're fine. That's good. You're fine.
 * Mugger: Give me cash?! You got cash?!
 * Jamie: Take it all, you dirty girl!
 * Mugger: What?! Your wallet! Focus! Give it to me! [Gives him wallet belt]
 * Jamie: Oh! Oh, I love you! I love you! I love you! I looove you!
 * [Camera view mimics vertigo]
 * Scott: What's so funny?!
 * Jenny: I'm really hungry. I think I've got the munchies!
 * Scott: Excuse me?!
 * Jenny: Huh?
 * Scott: It's hot in here! You hot?! 'Cause I'm really hot!
 * Jenny: So good!
 * Scott: Okay, I can't breathe! God! I'm freaking out! I think we got a bad batch 'cause I'm freaking out. I can't... I can't do this. I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came! I am freaking out!
 * Bakery server: Everything all right with you?!
 * Scott: No, nothing's all right! You sold us a bad batch of hash brownies! You're a bad Rastafarian!
 * Bakery server: [Camera view becomes stoic] These are not hash brownies.
 * Scott: Hmm?! What was that?!
 * Bakery server: We do not sell hash brownies. We're a simple Dutch bakery! Now put your clothes back on, white boy!
 * Cooper: Ow! Ow! Ow! "Fluggengegeholen!"
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Did you say fluggegecheimen?!
 * Cooper: Yes! Yes! For the love of god, fluggengecheimen!
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Are you sure?!
 * Cooper: Yes, please!
 * Madame Vandersexxx: As you wish. Bring on the fluggegecheimen! [Two burly men bring out a cartoonishly complex sex machine with four dildos repurposed from a weedwacker]
 * Cooper: Wait... what? Uh-oh. No, no, no! I didn't say fluggegecheimen, [They rev the machine] I said, uh... [They lean in aiming at Cooper's rear] aaah!
 * [Cooper walks up to Scott and Jenny in the street the morning after]
 * Scott: What'd you do last night?
 * Cooper: I don't want to talk about it. What did you guys do?
 * Scott: Don't want to talk about it. What is that?
 * Cooper: Free T-shirt.
 * Jamie: Hey, guys!
 * Cooper: What happened to you?
 * Jamie: I got robbed. It was awesome! Our money, passports, tickets... Everything, gone!
 * [They're standing at side of motorway trying to bum a ride]
 * Cooper: How the hell could this happen? We all go to Amsterdam, and Jamie's the one who hooks up! For shame! [Phone rings] Oh, that's me. Coop here. Sorry. Hello, Mr. Walters. You never got the Gutterman file? I told Humphrey to give it to you. That's hogwash. I handed it to him myself yesterday. I'll tell Humphrey to report to your office immediately. Bye. This job's killing me. [Truck pulls over and driver leans out speaking fast colloquial German]
 * Scott: [Greets in German]
 * Truck driver: [Greets in German]
 * Scott: Uh... Let me handle this. I speak bad German. [In German] My German is ill, but I can understand on you if the speaking is slowly.
 * Truck driver: [In German] German! I have been driving for 14 hours straight and I haven't slept in 3 days. And I am wired on Schnapps, Benzedrine, and those little chocolate covered peanuts.
 * Cooper: What did he say?
 * Scott: He said he's driving.
 * Jenny: Oh.
 * Scott: Something. [In German] Do you know where Berlin is?
 * Truck driver: [In German] Berlin? Yes, I know it well. I stabbed a woman in a bar in Berlin. But I am going nowhere near Berlin.
 * Scott: Berlin?
 * Truck driver: Berlin! [In German] I also sexually assaulted a horse in Berlin.
 * Scott: He's going to Berlin!
 * Jamie: Awesome! All right!
 * Jenny: Berlin!
 * Truck driver: Come on, let's go! Next stop, Berlin! [In German] I'll drive this truck off a cliff before I ever go back to Berlin.
 * [Truck arrives at a city and they all pile out]
 * Scott: Beautiful! We made it to Berlin.
 * Truck driver: Jah. Berlin! [In German] No one will ever find me in Bratislava.
 * Scott: Bratislava?
 * Truck driver: Yeah. Bratislava!
 * Cooper: Dear sweet mother of God. We're in Eastern Europe.
 * Jenny: Eww!
 * Scott: Excuse me. Do you speak any English?
 * Man: You are Americans? Yeah. I love America. We just get "Miami Vice" on television. "Miami Vice" is number one new show. Yeah.
 * Scott: Listen, we're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. Do you know if there's a train coming anytime soon?
 * Man: Oh, yes, very soon. They are building it now. Stop! Hammer time! Enjoy Bratislava! It's good you came in summer. In winter, it can get very depressing.
 * Scott: We gotta figure something out. How much money do we have?
 * Jamie:Frommer's travel tip.
 * Jenny: I don't have anything.
 * Cooper: What? I got noth... fine. [Fishes out spare change] $1.83 American.
 * Scott: What are we gonna get with that?
 * [Servers bursts out door with dinner courses on fancy platter]
 * Scott: Gotta love that exchange rate!
 * [Cooper watches a TV commercial for orange juice with two topless women]
 * TV commercial announcer: Ta. Hapi Djus. Teraz bez drenei.
 * Cooper: Hmm. Now with less pulp.
 * Scott: Dinner is served.
 * Server: Would the masters care for anything else?
 * Scott: Think we're good. Thanks. [Tips him]
 * Server: Ah! A nickel! [To boss] You see this? [Slaps his boss] I quit! I open my own hotel!
 * Scott: So, we got 27 cents left. What is there to do in this town?
 * [They're at a nightclub with a dance club remix of "Scotty doesn't know" playing]
 * Scott: This song sounds familiar.
 * Cooper: Jenny, lemme check your coat.
 * Jenny: Hey!
 * Cooper: Jenny! That outfit is horrible! Just take it off... now!
 * Jenny: No, but I will let you buy me a drink.
 * Cristoph: Excuse me! You are the woman from the Paris train station, aren't you? My name is... Christoph.
 * Jenny: Yes. What are you doing here?
 * Cristoph: This is my place. My family owns many nightclubs in Europe. I'd be honored if you'd join me in my V.I.P.Room for a drink.
 * Jenny: Mmm-kay. Bye, Cooper.
 * [A bottle of absinthe is served to them]
 * Scott: What's that?
 * Jamie: It's absinthe. Frommer's says it's illegal in the States because it makes you hallucinate and go crazy. They call it "the green fairy."
 * Cristoph: My family has a yacht in the Aegean. Come with me, Jennifer. We will sail away together.
 * Jenny: Oh, my God!
 * Cristoph: We will swim with dolphins, and sip champagne by moonlight.
 * Jenny: Oh, my God!
 * Cristoph: We will spend the day sunbathing, drinking wine. My wife makes the best sangria.
 * Jenny: Wait... what?
 * Jenny: Sangria.
 * Cristoph: You take a good Spanish Rioja, and you put in slices of orange, and...
 * Jenny: No, wait. You said you were married? You go around Europe sleeping with every woman you meet?
 * Cristoph: No, please, Jennifer. It is not like that. I also sleep with men.
 * Jamie: I gotta say, I'm not feeling anything.
 * Cooper: Me neither. Sober as a judge.
 * Scott: How 'bout you?
 * Green Fairy hallucination: I'm not feeling a goddamn thing. This absinthe is bullshit!
 * Scott: I hear you, my brother. [Fist bumps the fairy]
 * Green Fairy hallucination: I'm outta here. [''He flies off
 * Jenny: Excuse me. [She grabs absinthe bottle]
 * Cooper: Hey, so where's Christoph?
 * Jenny: Shut up. [Starts chugging straight from bottle]
 * Collectively: Europe! Europe! Whoo! Europe!
 * Cooper: [To Scott] So, tomorrow, Berlin. Tomorrow, Mieke!
 * Scott: Check it out. [Referring to Jamie making out with a woman] No way!
 * Cooper: Jamie's hooking up with another girl? Goddamn it! It's just so unfair. I've been all over, looking for crazy European sex, and he's the one who ends up... [The couple turns sideways to reveal the woman is Jenny]
 * Scott and Cooper: Oh, my God!
 * Green Fairy hallucination: That is some pretty fucked-up shit. Can you say, "What the fuck did I do last night?"
 * Scott: They really are the worst twins ever.
 * [They're lounging on stone steps all looking extremely being tormented by guilt and regret with Cooper looking smug]
 * Cooper: That was a pretty wild night, eh? Yep. Pretty wild, pretty wild. I know I was out of control. How about you guys? Did you...?
 * Jenny: All right, look. We were really drunk, things got a little crazy, and Jamie... kissed me. Let's just forget about it, 'kay?
 * Cooper: Consider it forgotten. Never happened. Never happened. Fine. Let's just forget about it. It's not like you two had sex. Have you had sex?
 * Jamie: Shut up, Cooper!
 * Jenny: Jamie, relax. Cooper. Please?
 * Cooper: Okay, okay, fine. I'll give it a rest. Jamie, could I borrow your Frommer's? [Jamie throws the book to Cooper] Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact. You made out with your sister, man! [Jamie lunges at Cooper and starts throttling him]
 * Jamie: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
 * Cooper: Like two dogs in heat.
 * Miami Vice fan man: [Pulls up in an orange ute panel van hybrid vehicle] My friends, where is the beef? You go to Berlin? I'm your ride. Hop in.
 * Scott: Check it out. [Referring to Jamie making out with a woman] No way!
 * Cooper: Jamie's hooking up with another girl? Goddamn it! It's just so unfair. I've been all over, looking for crazy European sex, and he's the one who ends up... [The couple turns sideways to reveal the woman is Jenny]
 * Scott and Cooper: Oh, my God!
 * Green Fairy hallucination: That is some pretty fucked-up shit. Can you say, "What the fuck did I do last night?"
 * Scott: They really are the worst twins ever.
 * [They're lounging on stone steps all looking extremely being tormented by guilt and regret with Cooper looking smug]
 * Cooper: That was a pretty wild night, eh? Yep. Pretty wild, pretty wild. I know I was out of control. How about you guys? Did you...?
 * Jenny: All right, look. We were really drunk, things got a little crazy, and Jamie... kissed me. Let's just forget about it, 'kay?
 * Cooper: Consider it forgotten. Never happened. Never happened. Fine. Let's just forget about it. It's not like you two had sex. Have you had sex?
 * Jamie: Shut up, Cooper!
 * Jenny: Jamie, relax. Cooper. Please?
 * Cooper: Okay, okay, fine. I'll give it a rest. Jamie, could I borrow your Frommer's? [Jamie throws the book to Cooper] Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact. You made out with your sister, man! [Jamie lunges at Cooper and starts throttling him]
 * Jamie: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
 * Cooper: Like two dogs in heat.
 * Miami Vice fan man: [Pulls up in an orange ute panel van hybrid vehicle] My friends, where is the beef? You go to Berlin? I'm your ride. Hop in.
 * Miami Vice fan man: [Pulls up in an orange ute panel van hybrid vehicle] My friends, where is the beef? You go to Berlin? I'm your ride. Hop in.

 * Scott: This is Mieke's apartment building. Wish me all sorts of luck, guys.
 * Jenny: You'll do great, Scotty.
 * Scott: Thanks.
 * Cooper: I came all this way. I'm not gonna miss this. [Grandmother greets door] Dude, Mieke's hideous! Run!
 * Scott: Stop. [Mieke's father appears] Hi, my name is Scott Thomas. I'm from America, and I'm here to see Mieke.
 * Mieke's father: I'm sorry, but Mieke's not here.
 * Scott: Do you know where she is?
 * Mieke's father: She's gone for the summer.
 * [Scott, Cooper and Mieke's father are seated in living room]
 * Mieke's father: My daughter had intended to spend the summer in America, looking at colleges and visiting some friends. But several days ago, she suddenly changed her mind. She would not tell me why.
 * Scott: I think I know why.
 * Mieke's father: This is Heinrich. He's Mieke's stepbrother. As I was saying, she packed up her bag and left. It was all very sudden.
 * Scott: Do you know where she is now?
 * Mieke's father: She's always been very interested in the classics, Greek and Roman literature, history, and she's always enjoyed the ocean, so she found a program that combines all her interests.
 * Scott: Do you know where she is?
 * Mieke's father: She enrolled in a summer at sea program, based in Rome.
 * Scott: Rome. Okay, then I guess we'll go to Rome, then.
 * Mieke's father: Unfortunately, Mieke's only in Rome for orientation. Tomorrow her group boards a boat and she'll be gone for the summer. She'll be quite unreachable.
 * Scott: Unreachable.
 * Mieke's father: Mieke's tour group goes to the Vatican tomorrow, then she gets on that boat and she's gone.
 * Scott: So, it's over?
 * Scott: Thanks for sticking with me through this, guys, but... you should probably call your parents, have them wire you some money and go home.
 * Jamie: What are you gonna do?
 * Scott: I'm going to Rome. I'll walk, I'll hitchhike, I'll swim if I have to, but I'll get to Mieke somehow.
 * Jamie: Maybe that'll help.
 * Scott: Where'd you get all that? Wait. Where's your Leica?
 * Jamie: Sold it.
 * Scott: What? You sold your Leica? But you loved that thing. What about your Europe photo tour, the chateaus?
 * Jamie: Chateaus have been there for 300 years. Mieke's gone in 12 hours. Let's go! Frommer's says check in three hours before international flights.
 * Scott: Come here, guidebook!
 * Jamie: Whoo! We're going to Rome. We're going to Rome!
 * Tour guide: All right, summer at sea group. Our tour begins in the Vatican museum. This way, please.
 * Scott: There it is.
 * Swiss guard: This entrance is for private tour groups only.
 * Jenny: Oh... but we are a private tour group. We've come all the way from America. That guy in the orange jacket is mentally retarded. [Cooper struggles with his ice cream cone]
 * Swiss guard: Si, I can tell. How very, very sad.
 * Jenny: Yes, it is.
 * Swiss guard: But if you are a tour, where is your guide?
 * Jenny: We've got a fantastic tour guide. Right here.
 * Jamie: What? No... The Vatican has been used as a papal residence ever since the time of Constantine the Great of the 5th century A.D.!
 * Swiss guard: Oh. Okay... um... if you'll all follow me, please. Have a very special day for a very special little man.
 * Cooper: Okay. I can't believe that guy let us in. What a retard!
 * Swiss guard: [To Jamie] Scusate. One of our English-speaking tour guides has called in sick. [Points to a tour group] Could you please take these peoples also?
 * Tourist 1: How big is Vatican City?
 * Jenny: We've got a fantastic tour guide. Right here.
 * Jamie: 0.5 square kilometers.
 * Tourist 2: Who built the colonnades?
 * Jamie: Gianlorenzo Bernini, 1656.
 * Tourist 3: Where are the bathrooms?
 * Jamie: Floors 6 and 7. Next I'll take you to where the College of Cardinals elects a new pope. When this happens, white smoke is sent up from the Vatican. Here's a fun fact...
 * [On an upper floor]
 * Scott: Mieke must be around here somewhere. Let's go.
 * Tour guide: Behind me is the appartamento papale, or "papal apartment." We're obviously not permitted.
 * Mieke: Excuse me, miss. What is this?
 * Tour guide: That is the bell of San Marco. When the pope dies, the Cardinal Vicar of Rome rings this bell to notify the people of Rome. Next we will view the Sistine Chapel. Follow me, please.
 * Cooper: Come on. I think I hear them.
 * Scott: Which way did they go?
 * Cooper: That way. I'd stake my reputation on it.
 * Scott: Good enough for me.
 * Cooper: Hey, check it out! I wonder what this does. [Pull's on bell rope]
 * Scott: It doesn't do anything, it's a rope. Come on, let's go. [They walk into Papal Chambers]
 * Cooper: They got a lot of old stuff here.
 * St. Peter's square man: Dio mio! The bell of San Marco! The pope is dead!
 * Scott: Whoa. She's not in here. Let's go. We're definitely not supposed to be in here.
 * Cooper: [Puts on a pope mitre] Hey, check this out! I'm the pope!
 * Scott: Cooper... take off the pope hat.
 * Cooper: Oh, no. It's okay. I'm catholic.
 * Scott: Take it off, goddamnit!
 * Cooper: Oh, you took the Lord's name in vain! Only I can forgive you now, my son.
 * Scott: Take that fudging thing off!
 * Cooper: The pope breaks an open-field tackle. It's a Hail Mary, he catches at the...the...the...the...touchdown, Pope! The pope makes a two-point conversion. [Puts a mitre on Scott] And oh, my Lord! It's the Pope, eight, and the heathens, nothing! How's you, sucka?
 * Scott: [Points to Cooper's hat] Cooper, the hat! The hat! The hat is on fire!
 * Cooper: "We don't need no water let the m... "
 * Scott: I'm not kidding! Look!
 * Cooper: Oh, holy shit!
 * Scott: I don't want this! Fireplace! Fireplace! Go, go! [Cooper throws hat into fireplace]
 * Cooper and Scott: Whoa!
 * St. Peter's square man: White smoke! They've elected the new pope!
 * Newscaster: I'm coming to you live from Vatican Square where the College of Cardinals, in a surprise move, has just elected a new pope. The crowd is very excited.
 * St. Peter's square man: This is so strange. Usually they wait 15 days to elect a new pope.
 * Jamie: We could be seeing history in the making!
 * Jenny: We could be seeing an arrest in the making.
 * Scott: [Spots Mieke in the square from window] There she is. Mieke! Hey! Stupid curtain! Let me out! Mieke!
 * St. Peter's square man: It's the new pope!
 * Mieke: What the hell...?
 * Scott: Mieke! Hold on! [Leaps onto a banner curtain and slides down to the ground]
 * St. Peter's square man: This is one crazy pope.
 * Swiss guard: You! Ferma! Stop! You! You... and your retarded friend, you're in big, big trouble.
 * Maynard: Oy! Take your mitts off them boys! They're with me! I've just about had enough of you fuckin' ities!
 * Swiss guard: But I am Swiss!
 * Maynard: Them, too! [Puts arm on Scott's shoulders] Now, bud... you get in there, and you say what you got to say.
 * Scott: Mieke. I'm here. I made it.
 * Mieke: Who are you?
 * Bert: What a fucking loser! I'm gonna videotape this.
 * Scott: I'm Scott.
 * Mieke: From Ohio? Scott? Scott Thomas?
 * Scott: Yes.
 * Mieke: From Ohio? What are you doing in Rome?
 * Scott: I came here to be with you. Listen, I just traveled all the way across Europe. I got chased by naked men. I ate brownies with absolutely no drugs in them. I watched a brother and sister make out. I kicked a robot in the balls, but I did it all so that... so I could tell you one thing. I love you, Mieke.
 * Crowd: Aww...
 * Scott: We're perfect for each other. What do you think?
 * Mieke: I think...
 * [Scott and Mieke are making out in a confessional box]
 * Scott: Oh, Mike... Mieke!
 * Old woman confessor: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have cheated on my husband. Do you think God will ever forgive me?
 * Mieke: Oh, yes!
 * Old woman confessor: Father?
 * Cooper: This sucks. I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. Europe is officially the worst country on Earth.
 * Jenny: I know. I thought I'd at least get to have some crazy European sex.
 * Cooper: What?
 * Mieke: Scott, I have to go.
 * Scott: Okay.
 * Mieke: My boat is leaving. I still can't believe you came all the way here, just for me.
 * Scott: What can I say? I'm very unpredictable.
 * Mieke: Keep writing to me, Scott, OK?
 * Scott: Yeah, I will.
 * Mieke: Go.
 * Scott: Bye. Yes! Yes! Yes! Whoo-hoo!
 * [They're seated at an outdoor cafe]
 * Scott: Hey, guys, I'm so glad we got to take this trip together. This was the best time of my life.
 * Arthur: Excuse me. You're the young man who gave me that tour of the Vatican, aren't you?
 * Jamie: Listen, I'm very sorry...
 * Arthur: I just wanted to thank you. You were the most knowledgeable, albeit idiosyncratic, tour guide I've ever had.
 * Jamie: Thanks. But I'm not actually a tour guide. I've just read Frommer's enough to have it memorized. Although I threw in a few things Frommer's didn't know about.
 * Arthur: How would you like to add them?
 * Jamie: Excuse me?
 * Arthur: That's my guidebook. I'm Arthur Frommer. [Hands Jamie his business card]
 * [They're at the airport]
 * Jamie: It's amazing! Frommer's is going to pay me to see every museum and cathedral in Europe.
 * Jenny: That sounds so exciting... for you.
 * Scott: I figured, since you're going to be staying, you might need this. A disposable camera. That's right.
 * Jamie: Thanks, Scotty.
 * Scott: That's from both of us.
 * Cooper: [Answers phone] Hello, Mr. Walters. I see. Fired? Well, I... Well, if that's what you want, I understand. I just... goodbye, sir.
 * Scott: They had to catch you eventually, right?
 * Cooper: No, they fired Humphrey.
 * Scott: Shut up!
 * Cooper: I got his office and a raise.
 * Jenny: No!
 * PA Announcer: Flight from Rome to Cleveland...
 * Jamie: That's you guys. Have a good flight, everybody.
 * Scott: Come here. [They hug]
 * Jamie: Be good. Oh! Okay... Cooper, have a good flight. Be good.
 * Cooper: Thanks. I'm on it.
 * [Airborne on a plane, Jenny whispers to Cooper, seductively steps over him and walks to the toilet and then Cooper joins her later]
 * Cooper: [In the toilet] This still counts as Europe, right?
 * Scott: [Typing e-mail] "Dear Mieke, Greece sounds incredible. I just moved into my dorm room today, but I can't wait to see you over Christmas break. This time I think I'll fly to Berlin direct." [Answers phone] Hello?
 * Cooper: [Walking across campus quad] Hey, buddy, how's college?
 * Scott: I just got here. My roommate hasn't even showed up yet.
 * Cooper: Do they room all you pre-med geeks together?
 * Scott: I'm not sure I'm going pre-med. I'm thinking about majoring in German.
 * Cooper: German? I've got a better idea. Why don't you major in not being such a woman?
 * Scott: So, how's Jenny?
 * Cooper: Jenny... Jenny who? I know a lot of ladies named Jenny, they're all... [Jenny slaps him on the head from off-camera and takes his phone] ow!
 * Jenny: Hey, Scotty, what's up?
 * Scott: Hi, Jenny! How's Jamie doing with Frommer?
 * Cooper: [Cooper has spotted a gold-colored busker performing a robot dance] Oh, no. Hold on. Come here, robot!
 * Jenny: Cooper, not again!
 * Scott: [Hears a knock on his dorm door] Hold on, this could be my new roommate. [Opens door to Mieke]
 * Cooper: [With the busker in a head-lock and Jenny holding up phone to him] What's the freak look like? Is he a dork or is he cool? Better not be cooler than me. Is he bigger than me?
 * Mieke: I just got your last email.
 * Scott: What are you doing here?
 * Mieke: Going to college.
 * Scott: You're going to college here? What dorm?
 * Mieke: This one. Room 214.
 * Scott: How is this possible?
 * Mieke: I guess they thought I was a guy.
 * Scott: Now who would be dumb enough to make a mistake like that?
 * Cooper: Do I hear kissing? Are you making out with your new roommate, Scotty? Scotty?! Scotty?! Scotty!
 * Green Fairy hallucination: This happy ending is bullshit. When does the fairy get laid? I'm outta here.
 * [Bert is in backyard with his father]
 * Father: Catchy tune.
 * Bert: Fuckin'-a, man.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel.
 * Scott: Sounds great.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: There is no bathroom, nor is there one nearby. Sorry. Get it?
 * Scott: She got it.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. You can also try hiding your valuables... in your anus.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Drink? I'm gonna rip away his pants and look at his dick, Okay? Ready?
 * Cooper: Quit.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Shut up. Sorry. I know I fucked it up. Yes! You take her hair... and one strand at a time, pull it out! Use her like a humping post!
 * Cooper: Jenny, this is Europe. They have orange juice ads with lesbians and dildos. Show them something they haven't seen.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: Should a fire occur, due to our faulty wiring, or the fireworks factory upstairs, you will be incinerated, along with the valuables you have hidden in your anus.
 * Jenny: [Jumping up and down with back to camera] Hey! Check these out! I'm 18 years old!
 * Candy: Is it off yet?
 * Cooper: No, keep rubbing it.
 * Bert: Fuckin'-a, man.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel.
 * Scott: Sounds great.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: There is no bathroom, nor is there one nearby. Sorry. Get it?
 * Scott: She got it.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. You can also try hiding your valuables... in your anus.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Drink? I'm gonna rip away his pants and look at his dick, Okay? Ready?
 * Cooper: Quit.
 * Madame Vandersexxx: Shut up. Sorry. I know I fucked it up. Yes! You take her hair... and one strand at a time, pull it out! Use her like a humping post!
 * Cooper: Jenny, this is Europe. They have orange juice ads with lesbians and dildos. Show them something they haven't seen.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: Should a fire occur, due to our faulty wiring, or the fireworks factory upstairs, you will be incinerated, along with the valuables you have hidden in your anus.
 * Jenny: [Jumping up and down with back to camera] Hey! Check these out! I'm 18 years old!
 * Candy: Is it off yet?
 * Cooper: No, keep rubbing it.
 * Amsterdam hostel concierge woman: Should a fire occur, due to our faulty wiring, or the fireworks factory upstairs, you will be incinerated, along with the valuables you have hidden in your anus.
 * Jenny: [Jumping up and down with back to camera] Hey! Check these out! I'm 18 years old!
 * Candy: Is it off yet?
 * Cooper: No, keep rubbing it.
 * Candy: Is it off yet?
 * Cooper: No, keep rubbing it.

Cast

 * Scott Mechlowicz as Scott Thomas
 * Jacob Pitts as Cooper Harris
 * Michelle Trachtenberg as Jenny
 * Travis Wester as Jamie
 * Kristin Kreuk as Fiona
 * Jessica Boehrs as Mieke
 * Nial Iskhakov as Bert
 * Jeffrey Tambor as Mr. Thomas (uncredited)
 * Cathy Meils as Mrs. Thomas
 * Matt Damon as Donny (frontman for Lustra
 * Vinnie Jones as Mad Maynard
 * Fred Armisen as Creepy Italian Guy
 * Lucy Lawless as Madame Vandersexxx
 * Jana Pallaske as Anna, The Camera Store Girl
 * Walter Sittler as Mieke's Father
 * Steve Hytner as Green Fairy
 * Rade Serbedzija as Tibor (as Rade Sherbedgia)
 * Dominic Raacke as German-speaking trucker
 * Patrick Rapold as Christoph
 * Go Go Jean Michel Francis as the Groovy Cakes Amsterdam bakery server
 * Molly Schade as Candy
 * J.P. Manoux as Robot Man

title: Eurotrip


text:
User talk:Admiral Roo~enwikiquote/History

Tuesday the 28th
By the way, in my opinion it is no good idea to write on the net "the girl you want to date"; real name is a sort of private information whose owner decided how to be dealt with. If you have already her permission, please don't mind my notice. Cheers, --Aphaia 19:45, 7 Jun 2005 (UTC)

Your vote on WQ:VFD
Hello Admiral Roo, I am sorry to say but I didn't count your keep vote for Faith, because you voted after the deadline expired. At any rate, if I count it, the result wouldn't change (3 deletes, 1 keep) and we tend to think it as the community consensus is on deletion. If you can submit a lenghy article on it, like Darth Vader, it will be accepted. Thank you for your understanding. --Aphaia 03:20, 23 Jun 2005 (UTC)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


text:
Ice Age (2002 film)

Ice Age is a 2002 American CGI-animated buddy comedy-drama road film released by 20th Century Fox. It is set during the days of the ice age in which Manny, a no-nonsense woolly mammoth; and Sid, a loudmouthed ground sloth; find a human baby and set out to return the baby, joined by a saber-tooth tiger named Diego who is commanded by his evil pack leader to bring the baby to him.

 * Directed by Chris Wedge and co-directed Carlos Saldanha. Written by Michael J. Wilson and Michael Berg.

The Coolest Event In 20,000 Years. taglines

Chapter 1

 * [First lines of the film; Scrat screams with the icequakes]

Chapter 2

 * Freaky Mammal 1: Why not call it the Big Chill or the Nippy era? I'm just sayin', how do we know it's an Ice age?
 * Freaky Mammal 2: [angrily] Because... off all...THE ICE?!
 * Freaky Mammal 1: Well, things just got a little chillier.

 * Papa Start: [angrily] HEY! DO THE WORLD A FAVOR: [Manfred looks at him angrily] MOVE YOUR ISSUES OFF THE ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAD!!!!!?????
 * Manfred: [angrily] If my trunk was that small, I wouldn't draw attention to myself, pal.
 * Papa Start: [calms down] Hey, G-give me a break. We...We've been waddling all day.
 * Manfred: [normal pausing] Oh, go ahead. Follow the crowd. It'll be quieter when you're gone. [walks away]
 * Papa Start: Ehh, c'mon. If he wants to freeze to death, let him.

Chapter 4

 * Carl: Look, we're gonna break your neck, so you don't feel a thing. How's that?
 * Manfred: Wait a minute, I thought rhinos were vegetarians.
 * Sid: An excellent point.
 * Manfred: [to Sid] Shut up.
 * Carl: Who says we're gonna eat him after we kill him?
 * Frank: Yeah, c'mon, move it.
 * Manfred: You know, I don't like animals that kill for pleasure.
 * Carl: Save it for a mammal that cares.
 * Sid: I'm a mammal that cares.
 * Manfred: Okay, look. If either of you get across that sinkhole in front of you, you get the sloth.
 * Sid: That's right, you losers! You take one step and you're dead! [throws a rock which bounces off the sinkhole instead of sinking] You were bluffing, huh?
 * Manfred: Yeah. Yeah, that was a bluff. [Sid quickly rushes back behind him]
 * Carl and Frank: GET HIM!

 * [After Manfred defeats the Brontotheres]
 * Sid: WHOO-HOO! We did it!
 * Manfred: What?
 * Sid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [to Manny] You have beautiful eyes.

Chapter 5

 * Manfred: Get off my face.
 * Sid: Whoa? You and me. We make a great team. What do you say we head south together?
 * Manfred: [sarcastically] Great. Yeah! Hey! Jump on my back and relax the whole way.
 * Sid: Oh, wow, really?
 * Manfred: No.
 * Sid: Wait, are you going south? The change of seasons, migration instincts. Any of this a-ringing a bell?
 * Manfred: [annoyed sarcasm] I guess not. Bye.
 * Sid: Okay then. Thanks for the help. I can take it from here. [looks up at Carl and Frank, still at the top of the cliff]
 * Carl: Hey, you overgrown weasel! Wait till we get down there!
 * Sid: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho. That south thing is way overrated. The heat, the crowds-who needs it? Isn’t it great? You and me, two bachelors knocking about the wild?
 * Manfred: No. You just want a bodyguard so you don't become somebody's side-dish.
 * Sid: You're a very shrewd mammal. Okay you lead the way, Mr. Big, uh...I didn't get the name.
 * Manfred: Manfred.
 * Sid: Manfred? Yuck, man. How about Manny the Moody Mammoth? Manny the melancholy? Manny the... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [screams as Manfred, now called Manny, gives him a glare, and climbs up the tree]
 * Manfred: [pulls the branch with his trunk] Stop following me! [shaking him off the tree abruptly]
 * Sid: Okay, okay, so you've got issues. You won't even know I'm here. I'll just zip the lip. When I say Mmph, I "Mmph".

Chapter 7

 * Soto: Look at the cute little baby, Diego. Isn't it nice he'll be joining us for breakfast?
 * Diego: It wouldn't be breakfast without him.
 * Soto: Especially after his daddy wiped out half our pack. And wears our skin to keep warm. An eye for an eye, don't you think?
 * Diego: Let's show that human what happens when he messes with sabers.
 * Soto: Alert the troops. We attack at dawn. And Diego: bring me the baby, alive. If I'm going to enjoy my revenge, I want it to be fresh.

 * Sid: Phew! I'm wiped out.
 * Manny: That's your shelter?
 * Sid: You're a big guy. and you got a lot of wood. I'm a little guy!
 * Manny: You got half a stick.
 * Sid: But with my little stick and my evolved brain- [pokes his own eye with the stick] Ow! I shall create fire!
 * Manny: Fascinating...
 * Sid: We'll see if brains triumph over brawn tonight. [breaks the stick in half] Now, won't we? [Cuts to rain. Sid attempts to lights the fire with his stick while Manny watches from his shelter]
 * Manny: [sarcastically] Hey. I think I saw a spark.
 * Sid: [looks down, but the firewood hasn't erupted in flames. He gives up and decides to sleep with Manny] Any change I could squeeze in there with you, Manny, ol' pal?
 * Manny: Oh, isn't there someone else you could annoy? Friends? Family? Poisonous reptiles?

Chapter 8

 * Sid: My family abandoned me. They just kind of migrated without me. You should see what they did to me last year. [adjusts Manny's trunk as his personal cot] They woke up early and tied my hands and feet and they gagged me with a field mouse, covered their tracks, went through water so I'd lose their scent, and...well, who needs 'em, anyway? [Manny drops Sid off of his trunk] So what about you? Do you have family? [Manny remembers his past. He decides to forget about it and goes back to sleep] Okay, you're tired. I see. We'll talk more in the morning. [it starts to hail, dropping a bunch on his head] Ow! Ow, ow! Ow! Ow, ow! Manfred? Manfred? Could you scooch over a drop? Come on! Nobody falls asleep that fast! Manny! ''[then heads towards Manny, using his tail as an umbrella]

 * Manny: What are you doing? Just drop it on the ledge.
 * Sid: [puts Roshan up and starts crawling] Should we make sure they found him?
 * Manny: Good idea.
 * Sid: Oh, no, no, no! No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait! [Manny puts him up with his trunk and starts screaming] Don't spear me! [closes his eyes and then sees something] Oh, this is a problem.
 * Manny: Now, what? [looks at the empty campsite] Aww, that's perfect.

Chapter 9

 * Diego: [about the humans] I told you they were gone.
 * Manny: Well, look who it is. Don't you have some poor defenseless animal to disembowel?
 * Sid: They couldn't be far. I mean, they went this way, or this way?
 * Diego: You don't know much about tracking, do you?
 * Sid: Hey, I'm a sloth. I see a tree, eat a leaf, that's my tracking.
 * Diego: You didn't miss them by much. [inspects a stick] It's still green. They headed north two hours ago.
 * Sid: [sticks a couple of twigs in his mouth, pretending to be Diego] "Hey, it's still green! They headed north two hours ago!?" [Roshan laughs, and flings a fish at Manny's face]
 * Diego: You don't need this aggravation. [fish falls off of Manny's face] Give me the baby. I can track humans down a lot faster than you can.
 * Manny: And you're just a good citizen helping out, right?
 * Diego: I just know where the humans are going.
 * Manny: Glacier Pass. Everybody knows they have a settlement on the other side.
 * Diego: Well, unless you know how to track, you'll never reach them before the pass closes up with snow, which should be, like...tomorrow. So, you can give that baby to me or go get lost in a blizzard. It's your choice.
 * Manny: [picks up Roshan and Diego growls. And gives the baby to Sid] Here's your little bundle of Joy. We're returning it to the humans.
 * Sid: [to Diego] Awww, the big bad tigey-wigey gets left behind. [pets Diego] Poor Tigey-Wigey!
 * Manny: Sid, "Tigey-Wigey" is gonna lead the way. [Diego smirks at Sid]
 * Sid: Uh, uh, Manny, can I-can I-can I talk to you for a second?
 * Manny: [passing] No. The sooner we find the humans, the sooner I get rid of Mr. Stinky Drool-face and the baby too. [walks off]
 * Diego: [to Sid] You won't always have Jumbo around to protect you. And when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back...'cause I'll be chewing on it.
 * Manny: [off-screen] Hey, Uber-tracker! Up front where I can see you.
 * Sid: [to himself] Help me.

Chapter 10

 * Diego: It nose's dry.
 * Sid: That means there's something wrong with it.
 * Diego: Someone should lick it, just in case.
 * Sid: I'll do it.
 * Manny: Hey, he's wearing one of those baby thingies.
 * Sid: So?
 * Manny: So, if he poops, where does it go?
 * Sid: [slight pauses out; Roshan poops] Humans are disgusting.
 * Manny: [to Sid] Okay, you. Check for poop.
 * Sid: Hey, why am I the poop-checker?
 * Manny: [right in Sid's face] Because returns the runt was your idea, because you're small and insignificant, and because I'll pummel you if you don't.
 * Sid: Why else?
 * Manny:      NOW, SID?!

Chapter 11

 * Manny: [to Diego] Stop it, you're scarin' him! [Roshan's stomach growled]
 * Sid: I think she's hungry.
 * Manny: How about some milk?
 * Sid: Ooh, I'd love some!
 * Diego: Not you, the baby!
 * Sid: Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal!
 * Diego: You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthin' off, aren't ya...?!
 * Manny:      ENOUGH!!!       [echoes]

 * [Sid smashes the watermelon on the ground]
 * Diego: AAH, Sid! Now we gotta find more food!
 * [Manny, Sid and Diego looks at Roshan eating the watermelon and saw the dodos running]
 * Dodos: Right, more to the right! More to the right!
 * Manny: [sarcastically] Hey, look at that. Dinner and a show.
 * Dodos: Left, left, left! [screaming and falling]

Chapter 12

 * Sid: Now to find a meal befitting a conquerin' hero. [let us go of the branch but hits him to the ground but he get is up] What ho? A foe? Come on, come on. You want a piece of me? [uses karate sounds and hits the tree but found an acorn] Spoils worthy of such a noble... [was about to eat it but as the acorn was about land, but Scrat flies in and pulls the acorn out of his mouth and scurries away, Scrat angrily shakes his fist at him]

 * [After Diego attacks Zeke in defense]
 * Diego: What the-?
 * Zeke: Go ahead, slice me! It'll be the last thing you ever do.
 * Diego: I'm working here you waste your fur.
 * Oscar: Frustrated, Diego? Tracking down helpless infants too difficult to you?
 * Diego: What are you two doing here?
 * Oscar: Soto's getting tired of waiting.
 * Zeke: Yeah, Yeah, He said, "Come back with the baby...OR DON'T COME BACK AT ALL!" [laughs]
 * Diego: Well, I have a message for Soto; Tell him I'm bringing the baby...and tell him I'm bringing...a mammoth.
 * Zeke: A mammoth?
 * Oscar: Mammoths never travel alone.
 * Diego: Well this one does, and I'm leading him to Half Peak.
 * Zeke: Mmm...Look at all that meat. LET'S GET 'EM!
 * Diego: Not yet! We'll need the whole pack to bring this mammoth down, get everyone ready. Now!
 * [The tigers leaves, Diego look around and go back down to Manfred and Sid, and went back to sleep in his spot]

Chapter 13

 * [Morning arrives, Manny wakes up and feels for Roshan in his trunk, only to discover that Roshan is gone. He stomps over to the sleeping Diego who wakes up with a startle]
 * Manny: Where's the baby?!
 * Diego: You lost it? [They look at each other and notice Sid is not there]
 * Both: [screaming angrily] SIIIIIIIIIIIID!!! [Scene shows Sid and Roshan in a jacuzzi like mud hot spring; using the baby as a 'chick magnet' to attract two female sloths]
 * Rachel: Oh, he's lovely. Positively adorable!
 * Jennifer: [baby-talking to Roshan] Hello, Pumpkin. Hello, little bunny baby...
 * Rachel: [to Sid] Where did you find him?
 * Sid: Ah, poor kid all alone in the wild. Sabers were closing in on him, so I just snatched him!
 * Rachel: Oh, so brave of you!
 * Sid: Yeah, well...He needed me... [wistfully] And I only wish I had one of my own, too...
 * Jennifer: [excited] Really?! [calms herself down] I'm...I'm attracted that quality in a male.
 * Sid: Atlas, [unaware that Roshan is sinking into the mud hot springs] who wouldn't want a family, I always say?
 * Rachel: [gushing] You caring for a baby...
 * Sid: [notices that Roshan the baby is gone and pulls the muddy baby up] Yeah, well...you know... [Roshan playfully throws mud on Sid's face; they both laugh as he grabs Manny's trunk to wipe the mud off his face like a rag] Cute kid, huh? So, as I was saying ladies...uh... [realizing Manny's trunk and gasps] Oh, hey! Hi, Manny!
 * Manny: [taking Roshan away] What's the matter with you?
 * Sid: Excuse me, ladies. You just keep marinating and I'll be right back. [gets out of mud pool and fall down and Sid get up] Sexy. [walks off]
 * Jennifer: He's not much to look at, but it's so hard to find a family guy.
 * Rachel: Tell me about it. All the sensitive ones get eaten.
 * Sid: [cut scene walk over to Manny and stop] No, no, no, no, no! Manny, Manny, Manny, please, I'm begging you, I need him!
 * Manny: What, a good looking guy like you?
 * Sid: Oh, you say that but, you don't mean it.
 * Manny: No, seriously, look at you. Aw, those ladies, they don't stand a chance.
 * Sid: You have a very cruel sense of humor.
 * Manny: Hey, don't let me cramp your style.
 * Sid: [shakes Manny's trunks] Oh, thanks, Manny, you're a pal. You're the best.
 * Manny: Without Pinky. [takes back Roshan and walks off]
 * Sid: Manny, Manny, I need him! Fine. [humming] So, ladies, where were we?
 * [Shows that Sid entered the wrong mud spring, being used by the two Brontotheres]
 * Frank: Carl?
 * Carl: Easy, Frank. [they snarl and Sid screams in horror. Cut to Manny and Roshan]
 * Manny: [while tossing Roshan in the air] Pretty tail walk by, suddenly he moves like a cheetah. And that tiger...Yeah, Mr. Greater Tracker. Can't even find a sloth. What am I, a wet nurse? [Roshan giggles] What are you looking at, bone bag? Look at you. You're gonna grow into a great predator, huh? I don't think so. What have you got? You got a little patch of fur. No fangs, no claws. You're folds of skin wrapped in mush. What's so threatening about you? [Roshan suddenly hugs his trunk to soften Manny for a moment] Hey, does this look like a petting zoo, huh? [Roshan pulls a nose hair out of Manny's trunk, causing him to yelp in pain, which made Roshan giggle] Okay, alright, wise guy. You just earned a time-out. [puts Roshan on the tree with his trunk, only for him to giggle some more] Oh, you think that's funny? How about this? [puts him on top of the branch] You'll be a little snack for the owls. [calms down as Roshan continues to giggle] You're a brave little squirt, I'll give you that.
 * Sid: [runs and finds Diego] Thank goodness, thank goodness. [pretending that Diego is eating him] Oh, no! A tiger! Help, help!
 * Diego: Where's the baby?
 * Sid: [whispers] Oh, he's fine. Manny has him. Just put me in your mouth. Hurry up. [still pretending Diego eating him] Oh, he got me! Oh, help...!
 * Diego: Get away from me.
 * Carl: Went this way. Over here.
 * [Sid kicks Diego's butt, and Diego roars and run back to Sid. Carl and Frank stop running, and see Diego biting Sid's neck as he plays dead]
 * Frank: Oh, no, Carl! The tiger beat us to him!
 * Carl: [walk over to Diego and Sid in blotch’s voice] Wait a minute. [smells Sid] Ugh! He's dead alright.
 * Frank: Oh, Carnivores have all the fun.
 * Sid: [wakes up] Oh, gosh, I hate breaking their hearts like that. Ah, but you know how it is. All right, thanks. You can put me down now.[Diego does not let go] Manny! Manny!
 * Manny: Guys, I thought we were in a hurry. And Diego, spit that out. You don't know where it's been.
 * [Diego spits Sid out]
 * Sid: Boy! For a second there, I actually thought you were gonna eat me!
 * Diego: I don't eat junk food.
 * Sid: Thought you were gonna...I thought you were gonna...Were you?

 * [Sid and Roshan are having a fight]
 * Manny: Don't make me reach back there!
 * Sid: Yeah, well, he started it!
 * Manny: I don't care who started it, I'll finish it!

 * Manny: [passes a Stonehenge-like structure] Modern architecture. It'll never last.

 * Sid: Hi, Manny. Hi, Diego.
 * [Manny, Diego and Roshan watches Sid get his head stuck in a hole in the wall]
 * Manny and Diego: Hey, Sid.
 * [The gang come across Scrat who is trying to bury his acorn]
 * Manny: You're lost, aren't 'cha?
 * Diego: No. I know exactly where we are.
 * Manny: Ask him directions.
 * Scrat: [notices them] Who are you guys?
 * Diego: I don't need directions!
 * Manny: Fine. Then, I'll ask him. [to Scrat] Hey, buddy, have you seen any humans go by here?
 * Scrat: [shakes his head] Uh-uh. Hmm... BEAK! [holds up his finger as if having an idea, a game of charades]
 * Sid: Oh, I love this game! I love it! Okay, okay. 3 words. 1st word. [Scrat steps his foot] Uh, "stomp"! [Scrat angrily jumps around] No, no! "Stamp", "stamp"!
 * Manny: Let me try. [Scrat puts his acorn over his back] Uh..."pack"!
 * Sid: Good one, Manny. [Scrat nods, then pretends to be a saber-toothed tiger] "Pack of"...long teeth and claws. [Diego looks at his claws] Pack of wolves. Pack of...
 * Manny: Uh, pack of bears? Pack of fleas!
 * [Scrat angrily points at Diego, meaning "Pack of tigers"]
 * Sid: Pack of whiskers, pack of noses.
 * Manny: Pachyderm.
 * Sid: Pack of flies! Pack of troubles! Pack of wallops! [Diego flicks Scrat into the mountain slope, screams] Pack of birds! Pack of flying fish!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * [Further into the journey, Diego walked a distance from the group, looks for where to travel next. But as he reached a snowy hill, he spotted the human tribe, not far away. Surprised to see them there, Diego turned back and saw Manfred approaching. Diego looked around, trying to find a way to lead them away from the humans. He spotted a dark cave nearby and thought of plan]
 * Diego: Hey! Great news! I found a shortcut.
 * Manny: What do you mean "shortcut"?
 * Diego: I mean faster than the long way around.
 * Manny: Ow! Stop it! I know what a short cut is!
 * Diego: Look, either we slip through there and beat the humans to Glacier Pass, or we take the long way and miss them.
 * Manny: Through there? What do you take me for?
 * Diego: This time tomorrow, you could be a free mammoth. Or a nanny. Personally, I never get tired of peekaboo.
 * Sid: Hey, guys. Guys, check this out. [groans with neck icicles]
 * Manny: Sid, the tiger found a shortcut.
 * Sid: [looked up at the mountain as if they will have to climb] No thanks. I choose life.

Chapter 14

 * Diego: [glaring at him where he stands so Sid almost runs into him when turning] Then I suggest you take the shortcut.
 * Sid: [becoming suspicious] Are you threatening me?
 * Diego: MOVE, SLOTH!!! [echoes and an ice shelf above them starts to crumble]
 * Sid: [patting Diego's head] Way to go, tiger!
 * Manny: Quick, inside!
 * [They rush in the cave and some rocks fall and block the entrance]
 * Manny: [resigned] Okay, I vote shortcut.
 * Diego: [to Manny and Sid as they walk through the icy cave] Come on, guys. Stick together. It is easy to get lost in here.
 * Sid: [ignoring Diego and focusing on the ice formations, he hits his nose really hard on a slab of ice; sticks out tongue] Uugh... [falls to the ground, unconscious. Unbeknownst to he, his tongue, which had flopped out of his mouth when knocked himself out, had stuck to the ice floor. A few seconds later, he feels woozy and tries to get up but his tongue is stuck] Ugh. [realizing, he tries to pull it off; gets free, stands up and looks around for his friends] Uh, guys? [screams looking at a fish] Heh-heh, a fish. [screams again after he looks at the dinosaur, he then looks at his frozen ancestors and looks at a big spaceship]
 * Roshan: [looking at the spaceship and makes a Spock hand figure] Ba.
 * Manny: [to Sid] Will you keep up please?! It's hard enough to keep a track of one baby. [Then into their surprises, Roshan slides on the ice before waving to them and lost] Oops!

Chapter 15

 * Manny, Sid and Diego: AAAH!!
 * Diego: Are you kidding me?! Get that baby now!
 * Roshan: WHEE! [The groups then slides on the ice to catch the baby in crazy situations]
 * Sid: [catching up with Roshan] Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Gotcha! [successfully grabs Roshan, only for Sid to fall into the hole as the baby continues sliding on the ice] Watch out! [then he, Diego, and Manny crashed into each other while slides] Ouch! [grabs onto Manny] Captain, iceberg ahead!!! [They slid up to the giant ice, which is about to breaks]
 * Manny: Phew! That was close one.
 * Sid: Uh-oh.
 * Diego: Oh, no. [The ice breaks and lands on the slide, giving the group more rides. Then Roshan was lifted in the air as he finished sliding. Then we see Scrat, who was stuffing his acorn on the ice wall, only for him to scream at the incoming group and tried to pull his acorn out. Then Sid crashed onto the ice wall where Scrat is, followed by Diego. Manny has just saved the baby and survived icy slides...then crashes into the ice wall. Roshan giggles and pops out of the snow] WHOA! WOO! Yeah! Who's up for Round 2?! [Manny and Sid angrily stare at him] Oh. T-T-Tell the kid to be more careful. [Scrat also came out of snow and wipe it off. Scrat looking for his acorn and laughing, and hit in the head with an acorns drawing and faints]

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 * [The group moves on, Manny, Sid, Diego and Roshan reaching a vast cave filled with paintings done by humans of various animals]
 * Sid: [showing the baby cave painting] Look, look. Tigers. Eesh! [Roshan whimpers] No, it's okay, it's okay. Look, the tigers are just playing tag with an antelope. [pauses out] With their teeth.
 * Diego: Come on, Sid, let's play tag. You're it.
 * Sid: [giggles] Sure. okay, okay, okay, where's are the sloths? You never see any sloths. Have you ever noticed? Oh! Look, Manny, a mammoth!
 * Manny: [sarcastically] Ooh, somebody pinch me.
 * Sid: Hey, hey, this fat one looks just like you! Aw, he's got a family. [Manny suddenly stops and looks at the paintings of the mammoths] Oh, and he's happy. Look, he playing with his kid. See, Manny? That's your problem. That's what mammoths are supposed to do.
 * Diego: Sid.
 * Sid: Find a she-mammoth, have little baby mammoths...
 * Diego: Sid.
 * Sid: What?
 * Diego: Shut up.

Chapter 16

 * Sid: But I... [notices Manny discovering his past] Oh. [As Manny stared at the drawings, the still images began to move in his mind, coming alive. He remembered playing happily in a lush meadow with his wife and his child, romping in the sunshine, until a horde of humans ran out of the woods, waving their spears fiercely. Manny faced off against the hunters, trying to hold them back with his imposing tusks. Behind him, his family ran to find shelter. Then Manny heard a deep, terrified scream. He wheeled around and saw that his mate and child were trapped against a rock wall by humans aiming spears at them. Before Manny could move, another group of humans dropped heavy rocks from atop the rock wall. Bellowing in anguish, Manny saw his family being crushed by the rocks. His cries shook the landscape, echoing off the rocks all around. Paints Manfred: TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Back in the present, the mammoth shook his head, clearing the devastating memory from his mind. He breathed heavily, trying to regain control of his run-away emotions. Sid and Diego stared at Manny with worried eyes. Then they turned back to the painting, clearing their throats uncomfortably. Manfred kept staring at the cave drawings. He gazed at the sketch of the father mammoth cradling his young child in his trunk. Slowly, Manny raised his own trunk toward the illustration. Before he could reach it, Roshan's tiny hand touched the drawing gently. He was standing on his feet, propped up against the cave wall. Surprised, Manny pulled back his trunk. He blinked at the little human boy. Roshan stroked the picture of the baby mammoth with his fingers, glancing back at the mammoth as though he was connecting the two in his mind. Then Roshan stumbled toward Manny, who caught the baby with his trunk. He slowly lifted Roshan off the ground. He curled his trunk, hugging Roshan close, nuzzling his cheek against the baby's head. Sid sniffled, wiping a glob of snot from his nose with his paw onto Diego. Manny swooped Roshan onto his back and walked out of the cave without a word. Sid followed. Diego took one last look at the painting of the mammoth family and let out a sad sigh, then sauntered out of the cave after the others]

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Chapter 17

 * Manny: Wow! look at the tigers! There's Half Peak, next stop, Glacier Pass. How could I ever have doubted you?
 * Sid: Did you hear that, little fella? You are almost home. [stops as he noticed his feet] My feet are sweating.
 * Diego: Do we need a news flash every time your body does something?
 * Manny: He's doing it for attention, just ignore him.
 * Sid: Seriously. My feet are really hot. Ow, ow, ow, ow!
 * [A rumbles sound behind him follows him]
 * Manny: Tell me that was your stomach.
 * Diego: Shh.
 * Sid: I'm sure it was just thunder. From underground? [Then the geyser from the volcano blasted out of the snow]
 * Manny, Sid and Diego: RUN!!!!!!!!!! [The tries to runs away]
 * Sid: [running faster] Come on, keep up with me!
 * Manny: I would if you're movin'?! [Sid lays down. Then Diego leaps over a river of lava]
 * Sid: Wow, I wish I could jump like that.
 * Manny: Wish granted! [kicks Sid in his rear, sending him flying in the air, slides and bumps into a bark wall]
 * Diego: Come on, move faster!
 * Manny: Have you noticed the river of lava?! [jumps and Diego tries to jump but can't make it across causing Manny to realize that he can't make it and gives Roshan to Sid] Hold Pinky!!! [Manny pushes Diego and Sid to safety, but the ledge beneath Manny gives way and he falls off]

Chapter 18

 * Sid: MANNY!! [then Manny is launched by a geyser back onto the higher ground] Manny! Manny, Manny, Manny! You okay?! Come on, come on, say something. Anything!
 * Manny: [groans]
 * Sid: What? What? I can't hear you.
 * Manny: You're standing on my trunk.
 * Sid: [let us go of the trunk as Manny gasps for air] Oh, you're okay! You're okay!
 * Diego: Why did you do that? You could've died, trying to save me.
 * Manny: That's what you do in a herd; you look out for each other.
 * Diego: [smiles] Well, thanks.
 * Sid: I don't about you, guys, but we're the weirdest herd I have ever seen.

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Chapter 19

 * Zeke: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! I can't wait to get my claws on that mammoth!
 * Soto: No one touches the mammoth until I get that baby. [Pauses Out]
 * Zeke: First I'm gonna slice its hindquarters in sections. I'll put the white meat in one pile, and the dark meat in another.
 * Lenny: Hey, knock it off!? I'm starvin'.
 * Zeke: Next, the shoulders. Occasionally tough, but extremely juicy.
 * Lenny: I told you to knock it off!? [Soto grabs Lenny's paw]
 * Soto: Save your energy!? Mammoths don't go down easy. There is only one way to do it. First you have to force it into a corner. Cut off his retreat, and when you three have it trapped, I'll go for the throat. [Lenny gulps by the throats. Soto, Zeke and Oscar smiles]

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Chapter 20

 * [During the snowstorm at night]
 * Manny: Guys, we gotta get this kid outta the wind! How much further?
 * Diego: 3 miles.
 * Manny: I'm beat. We'll get there in the morning.
 * [Manny and Diego to see Sid is drawing the sloths with a chalk of ice]
 * Diego: What are you doing?
 * Sid: I'm putting sloths on the map. [Pauses Out]
 * Manny: Hey, why don't you make it realistic and draw him lyin' down?
 * Diego: And make him rounder. [Manny drew a round body on the sloth] Perfect.
 * Sid: [sarcastically] Ah-ha! I forgot how to laugh! [colors his body and notices that he can create fire] I'm a genius! [kisses the chalk]
 * [Next scene, we see a perfect fireplace Sid made]
 * Sid: From now on, you'll have to refer to me as "Sid, Lord of the Flame"!
 * Manny: [sarcastically] Hey, Lord of the Flame, your tail's on fire.
 * [Noticing this, Sid runs around in circles, screaming. Diego grabs Sid and pulls him back into a small pile of snow, extinguishing the fire]
 * Sid: [sighs in relief] Thank you. From now on I'm gonna call you Diego-
 * Diego: Lord of "Touch Me and You're Dead". [Sid gasps in fright] Nah, I'm just kiddin', you little knucklehead! [grabs Sid and gives him noogies as he says it]
 * Manny: Hey, lovebirds. Look at this.
 * [Roshan start walking]
 * Sid: I don't believe it. [Diego and Manny smiles] Come here, you little biped. Come here, you little wormy-worm. Come to Uncle Sid. [Roshan walks over to Diego] No, no, no, no, no, no. This way. This way.
 * Diego: No, no, no. No, go to him. Go to him. [Roshan hugs him] Um...Okay. Good job. Um...keep practicing.
 * Sid: Look at that. A little guy is growing up.
 * [Roshan sneezes and yawns]
 * Manny: All right, come on. Sleep time, Lumpy.
 * Sid: Look at that big pushover. You know, Diego, I've never had a friend who would risk his life for me.
 * Diego: Yeah, Manny's... is a good guy.
 * Sid: Yeah, he is. Well, good night.

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Chapter 21

 * Sid: [licks and clean Roshan] Alright, let's get you all cleaned up. I mean what's your daddy gonna say when we go back smudgy and stinky like this? Okay. Let me just clean that up. That looks good. A little bit here.
 * Manny: You clean up, nice little fella.
 * Sid: I think he started to look like me. Hey, Diego, what do you say.
 * Diego: [pauses] Maybe we shouldn't do this.
 * Sid: Why not?
 * Diego: Because if we save him, he'll grow up to be a hunter, and who do you think he'll hunt?
 * Sid: Maybe because we save him, he won't hunt us. [Roshan pokes in Sid's nose] Ow! My nose!
 * Diego: Yeah, maybe he'll grow fur and a long skinny neck and call you mama!
 * Manny: [concerned about Diego's behavior] What's your problem?
 * Diego: Nothing. Let's go. I'm freezing my tail off. [Soto watches Diego, Manny, and Sid walk. Diego stops walking and then looks up at Soto and the tigers. He looks down]
 * Manny: Hey, Diego, you've frozen back there.
 * Diego: [pauses out, then follows Manny and Sid] Get down!
 * Sid: Huh?
 * Manny: What?
 * Diego: Shh! Get down and follow me.
 * Sid: Hey, hey, what's going on?
 * Diego: At the bottom of Half Peak… [short pauses/paused] there's an ambush waiting for you.
 * Sid: What?
 * Manny: What do you mean ambush? [Long Pauses; beats up] You set us up.
 * Diego: It was my job! I was supposed to get the baby, but then...
 * Manny: You brought us home for *dinner!*
 * Sid: That's it, you're out of the herd!
 * Diego: I'm sorry.
 * Manny: [pushes Diego against the wall with his tusk] No, you're not! Not yet!
 * Diego: Listen, I can help you.
 * Manny: Stay close, Sid. We can fight our way out.
 * Diego: You can't, the pack's too strong. You have to trust me.
 * Manny: Trust you?! Why in the world would we trust you?!
 * Diego: Because I'm your only chance.
 * Manny: Huh?!

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Chapter 22

 * Diego: [to his fellow Sabers] Hello, ladies.
 * Oscar: Hey, look who finally decided to show up.
 * Soto: Diego. I was beginning to worry about you.
 * Diego: No need to worry about. In about two minutes you'll be satisfying your taste for revenge.
 * Soto: Very nice.
 * Zeke: [spotting Sid] I see the sloth! And he's got the baby!
 * Soto: Don't give away your positions until you see the mammoth. He's the one we have to surprise.
 * Diego: You wanna maul something, don't you, Zeke?
 * Zeke: [whining anxiously] I wanna maul!
 * Diego: Then what are you waiting for?
 * [The tigers chase him]
 * Soto: No, I said wait for the mammoth!
 * [Diego nods with a shrug. Soto growls, and follows them]

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 * Sid: [to Soto, Zeke, Oscar and Lenny] Sorry, fellas, it got a little frostbite! [leaves]
 * Soto: GRRRR! Get him!
 * [Sid runs away laughing and the tigers run after him but suddenly confronted by Manny]
 * Manny: Surprise! [throws the log at tigers]
 * Diego: Okay. Follow me. We'll pick up Sid and get outta here while we can.
 * Soto: Come on, Diego. Let's bring this mammoth down.
 * Sid: [finds Roshan in the tree] There he is. [Roshan plays "Where's the Baby?"] That's right. Where’s the baby! [sees Zeke creeping up to them] Oh! [as Zeke jumps, Sid grabs Roshan while screaming. But Zeke is now stuck in the tree. Sid smirked with an idea, and jumps on Zeke 3 times] Survival of the fittest! I don't think so. Yeah! [Roshan gives Sid high-5]

Chapter 23

 * [The tigers move closer to Manny, but Diego steps in to face the tigers]
 * Soto: What are you doing?!
 * Diego: Leave the mammoth alone.
 * Soto: [last words] Fine, I'll take you down first.
 * [Soto and Diego began to fight violently until Diego was knocked down. Soto was about to charge at Manny, but Diego sacrificed himself by leaping in front of Manny, causing Soto to claw at Diego, who laid on the snow. Then Sid and Roshan came back to see the fight. Roshan cries at the wounded Diego in horror, which made Soto see them. Sid covers Roshan's mouth as Soto was about to get the baby. But Manny intervened by knocking Soto with his tusks, causing Soto to hit against the wall, and above him were the giant icicles were moving and began to fall on Soto, impaling him off-screen. Manny glared at Lenny and Oscar with a threatening growl, causing the tigers to run away in terror]
 * Sid: [excited] We did it! [Manny, Sid and Roshan approach Diego]
 * Diego: We were… some team, huh?
 * Manny: "Were"? Come on, we're still a team.
 * Diego: I'm sorry I set you up.
 * Sid: Ah, you know me, I'm too lazy to hold a grudge. [puts Roshan down next to Diego]
 * [Roshan cries worryingly]
 * Diego: Hey, knock it off, squirt. You gotta be strong. You have to take care of Manny and Sid. Especially Sid.
 * Sid: Come on, you can lick this. You're a tiger! Look, I'll carry you. Come on, what do you say? Come on, Diego, come on. Tell him he's gonna be okay, Manny.
 * Diego: Listen, you have to leave me here. If those humans get through the Glaciers Pass, you'll never catch them.
 * Manny: You didn't have to do that.
 * Diego: That's what you do in a herd. [passes out]

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Chapter 24

 * [Last lines, after returning Roshan to his father, Roshan hugs Sid]
 * Sid: Don't forget about us, okay?
 * Manny: [picks up Roshan one last time] We won't forget about you.
 * [Roshan smiled and hugs Manny before returning to his father. Roshan's father gives the necklace to Manny as a token of their friendship, before they parted their ways]
 * Sid: [sniffs] Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
 * Manny: Sid...
 * Sid: Bye. Bye. [Roshan plays "Where's the Baby?"] That's right. Where's the baby?
 * Manny: Come on, Sid, let's head south.
 * [Manny stops as he sees Diego, fully recovered, walking slowly up to them. He smiles as Roshan was reunited with his father. Roshan smiled as he sees Diego alive and well. He plays "Where's the Baby?" one last time, and so did Diego, until Roshan is out of site]
 * Sid: Bye. [sniffs]
 * Diego: Save your breath, Sid. You know humans can't talk.
 * Sid: [sees Diego alive] Diego? You're okay!
 * Diego: Nine lives, baby!
 * Sid: Yay! You're okay, you're okay! [hits Diego] I could kiss ya! [kisses Diego and gets a few of his fur out of his mouth] Yuck, yuck, ptoo!
 * Manny: Welcome back, partner. Want a lift?

Chapter 25

 * Diego: No thanks. I gotta save whatever dignity I've got left.
 * Sid: You're hanging out with us now, buddy. Dignity's got nothing to do with it. [to Manny] But I'll take that lift.
 * Manny: Yeah, climb aboard.
 * Sid: [climbs on Manny] Yeah! Mush! Or not mush. Either way. [Manny begins to walk, Diego went after them, as "Send Me on My Way" plays again] This is gonna be the best migration ever! I'll tell ya, I'll show you my favorite watering holes. I turn brown when the fungus in my fur dries out.
 * Manny: Sounds very attractive.
 * Sid: You know, this whole ice age thing is getting old. You know what I could go for? Global warming.
 * Manny: Oy.
 * Diego: Keep dreaming.
 * Sid: No, really.
 * [Manny, Sid and Diego walk into the sunset]

Taglines

 * Zowie Polie & Manny
 * The Coolest Event In 16,000 Years.
 * Sub-Zero Heroes
 * Licensed To Chill
 * They came. They thawed. They conquered.
 * Ice Age is coming

Cast

 * Ray Romano — Manny
 * John Leguizamo — Sid
 * Denis Leary — Diego
 * Goran Visnjic — Soto
 * Jack Black — Zeke
 * Cedric the Entertainer — Carl
 * Stephen Root — Frank
 * Chris Wedge — Scrat
 * Diedrich Bader — Oscar
 * Alan Tudyk — Lenny
 * Jane Krakowski — Rachel
 * Lorri Bagley — Jennifer
 * Tara Strong — Roshan
 * Alan Tudyk - Dab The Dodo
 * Ricki-Lee - Nadia
 * Bill Nighy - Runar
 * Alan Tudyk - Freaky Mammal
 * Stephen Root - Start

title: Ice Age (2002 film)