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User:Colin MacLaurin

See the English Wikipedia for my user page. -Col

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The Simpsons/Season 10

The Simpsons (1989–present) is an American animated sitcom broadcast by the Fox Broadcasting Company created by Matt Groening. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family.

Lard of the Dance

 * Ralph: And the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that's why it was the best summer ever!
 * Ms. Hoover: Thank you, Ralph. Now take your seat. [Ralph exits the classroom]
 * Nelson: [offscreen] Hey Blindy, have a nice trip!
 * Ralph: Aah!
 * Nelson: Ha-ha!

 * Homer: Used grease is worth money? Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold! (he groans with pain) Money in the bank.

 * Homer: Marge, I'm a little busy right now achieving financial independence.
 * Marge: With cans of used grease?
 * Homer: (mockingly) No, through savings and wise investments! Of course with grease.

 * Alex: Your name's Lisa? Shut up, I love that name!
 * Lisa: Did she just tell me to "shut up?"
 * Skinner: Take it outside.

 * (Bart and Homer are escaping from Groundskeeper Willie through the air ducts. Willie grabs Homer by the ankle.)
 * Willie: Not so fast, boyo. Hell, if it was up to me, I'd let ya go. (Raises his fists.) But, the lads have a temper, and they've been drinking all day!
 * (Willie starts punching Homer with hard blows while Homer is screaming in pain.)
 * Homer: Ow! Stop pummeling me! It's really painful!
 * Willie: (Willie stops briefly) Okay, fine. I'll strangle ya for a while! (Willie strangles Homer with his hose, and one of Homer's eyes bulges out of its socket.)

 * Homer: Lisa, I can't imagine anyone being more likable than you. But apparently this new girl is. So my advice would be to start copying her in every way.

 * Homer: Oh, I can't believe those goons muscled me out of my grease business. I've been muscled out of everything I've ever done, including my muscle for hire business.
 * Marge: Oh, poor Homey. Couldn't you try some other far-out, moneymaking scheme?

 * Homer: Alright son, we're about to embark on our most difficult mission. Let's bow our head in prayer. Dear Lord, I know You're busy, seeing as how You can watch women change clothes and all that, but if You help us steal this grease tonight I promise we'll donate half the profits to charity.
 * Bart: Dad, He's not stupid.
 * Homer: Alright, screw it. Let's roll! (floors it)

 * Bart: When you want grease, go to the source. Good old Krusty Burger!
 * Homer: I'll say! Look at that red-headed kid. There must be $40 worth of grease on his forehead alone.
 * Bart: Uh, I was thinking more of the deep frier.
 * Homer: Whatever, we'll try it your way.
 * Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Can I help you, sir?
 * Homer: [leaning uncomfortably close to Squeaky-Voiced Teen] My... God, you're greasy.
 * Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Mr. Maruka, help!

 * [Nelson, Ralph, Wendel, Lewis, and Database sitting at a bench at lunchtime]
 * Nelson: You see, the thing about huckleberries is: once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.
 * [Skinner walks up to the bench]
 * Nelson: Uh, uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass!
 * [Skinner nods and walks off]
 * Nelson: (quietly) Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner sugar.
 * [All murmur in interest]

The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace

 * Marge: I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so many dolphins in it, and you know how smart they are.

 * Professor Frink: And these should give you the groundings you'll need in thermodynamics, hyperdmathematics, and of course, microbcalifragilistics.
 * Homer: Look I just want to know how to invent things, tell me.
 * Professor Frink: All you have to do is think of things that people need, but which don't exist yet.
 * Homer: You mean like an electric blanket-mobile?
 * Professor Frink: Well, possibly. Or you could take something that already exists and find a new use for it. Like...
 * Homer: Hamburger earmuffs.
 * Professor Frink: Well, I suppose that would qualify.
 * Homer: Thanks, sucker!

 * Homer: Now, here's my "Everything's OK Alarm." (picks up a device that looks like a smoke detector and presses a button. It starts beeping loudly, with a sound similar to an air horn.) THIS WILL SOUND, EVERY 3 SECONDS, UNLESS SOMETHING ISN'T OKAY!
 * Marge: Turn it off, Homer!
 * Homer: IT CAN'T BE TURNED OFF! (The beeping starts weakening, then stops completely.) But it, uh, does break easily.

 * (after Homer shoots Marge with "The Makeup Shotgun")
 * Marge: Homer, you got it set on "Whore."
 * Homer: Oh, sorry. (switches knob on gun) OK, this time, try to keep your nostrils closed. (Marge swats away gun, and the makeup hits a nearby wall instead) Oh, look what you did. Now I have to get my cold cream gun.

 * Lisa: Dad, women won't like being shot in the face.
 * Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like.

 * Kent Brockman: In other news, Thomas Edison, the greatest inventor of all time, is apparently still inventing, despite the notable handicap of being dead.
 * Homer: That's my Tommy!

Bart the Mother

 * (at an arcade)
 * Nelson: What can I get for 8,000 tickets?
 * Clerk: Uh, a BB gun or an Easy Bake Oven.
 * Nelson: Hmmm...Hot food is tempting, but I just can't say no to a weapon.

 * Lisa: What did you get with the tickets?
 * Bart: Fake moustache comb, how about you?
 * Lisa: Fake moustache...wanna comb it?

 * Homer: [at the top of his voice] MILHOUSE!!!
 * Milhouse: [still at his house] What?
 * Homer: TELL BART TO COME HOME!!!
 * Milhouse: [still at his house] I think he's at Nelson's!
 * Homer: WHO'S NELSON?!!

 * (after Marge sees the bird Bart shot)
 * Marge: Bart! Did you kill that poor bird?!
 * Bart: I didn't mean to, Mom. The gun pulled to the left.
 * Marge: You disobeyed me, snuck over here, and murdered a helpless animal?!
 * Bart: I know, I really screwed up. I deserve to be punished.
 * Marge: (sighs dejectedly) Oh, what's the point, Bart? I punish, and I punish, and I punish, but it never sinks in. So you know what? Do what you want. You wanna play with little hoodlums? Fine! Have fun killing things! (gets in her station wagon and drives off)

 * Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such nature films as Earwigs, Eww! and Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory.

 * [About the Bolivian tree lizard]
 * Principal Skinner: It's a vicious oviraptor. It feasts on bird eggs and lays its own eggs in the nest. The unsuspecting mother bird cares for them until the babies hatch, and... devour her too.
 * Moe: [laughs] What a chump!
 * Principal Skinner: It's already wiped out the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene, and it has nasty plans for the booby, the titmouse, the woodcock, and the titpecker.

 * Bart: [to Marge] Everyone thinks they're monsters. But I raised them and I love them. I know that's hard to understand.
 * Marge: Mmmm. Not as hard as you think.

 * Homer: This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Halley's Comet collided with the moon!
 * Lisa: That didn't happen, Dad.
 * Homer: Sure it didn't.

 * Mayor Quimby: [to Bart] For decimating our pigeon population and for making Springfield a less oppressive place to while away our worthless lives, I present you with this scented candle.

Treehouse of Horror IX

 * Marge: Homer, Kang is Maggie's father.
 * Homer Simpson: (gasps) You intergalactic hussy! How could you?! (starts crying) Was he better than me?

 * [Homer punches Snake's hairpiece that's attacking Bart]
 * Bart: Ow! That's my face, you idiot!
 * Homer: Idiot? Why, you little... [Homer strangles Bart, but two policeman burst into Bart's room]

 * [On the Jerry Springer Show, after Kang brings out flowers for Marge and kisses her hand. Homer begins wailing on him]
 * Homer: You one-eyed, two-timing [bleep, bleep]! I'm going to [bleep]!
 * Kang: Oh yeah?! Well, [bleep] hyperbolic paraboloid [bleep] your mama!

 * Jerry Springer: And now for my final thought; nobody wins when parents put their petty squabbles above the welfare of their child. (everyone onstage looks ashamed) Let's hope they put their differences aside and do what's best for Maggie. [Maggie lunges at Springer] What the [bleep]?! Get this [bleep] baby off! [she bites him] [bleep]! Son of a [bleep]!
 * [Kang and Homer try to pull Maggie off, but end up fighting again]
 * Marge: [with her head in her hands] I'm so [bleep] embarrassed.

 * Marge: I can't believe it. Jerry Springer didn't solve our conflict.
 * Lisa: And now he's dead.
 * Kang: Any-Hoo, this is your last chance. Turn over the baby now!
 * Kodos: Or we will destroy all your leaders in Washington!
 * Marge: [not intimidated] Oh, you can't destroy every politician!
 * Kang: [darkly] Just watch us.
 * [Kang and Kodos laugh maniacally as they enter their spaceship and take off.]
 * Bart Simpson: Don't forget Ken Starr!
 * Marge: Suckers.
 * Homer: Come on, Maggie. Let’s go home.
 * Maggie: [In Kang’s voice] Very well, I’ll drive.
 * [Maggie laughs maniacally.]

 * Bart: [After changing Lisa and the TV screen into red] Whoa! Cool!
 * Lisa: [Holding the remote control] Bart, quit it!

 * Scratchy: [to Bart and Lisa] Why are you laughing?
 * Itchy: [to Scratchy] Hey, they're laughing at your pain.
 * Scratchy: [Picks up his head and puts it back on his body] That's mean.
 * Itchy: Let's teach 'em a lesson. [shaking Scratchy's hand]

 * (on The Jerry Springer Show)
 * Audience Member: I got a question for that gross thing, whatever it is.
 * Jerry Springer: Homer?
 * Audience Member: Nah, the green dude.

When You Dish Upon a Star

 * Lisa: (speaking to Homer) You promised to take us to the lake.
 * Homer: I promise you kids lots of things. That's what make me such a good father.
 * Lisa: Actually, keeping promises would make you a good father.
 * Homer: No that would make me a great father.

 * Man: Sir you can't operate a boat under the influence of alcohol.
 * Homer: Oh, that sounds like a wager to me.

 * Homer: (while parasailing) Ooh, I'm soaring majestically like a candy wrapper caught in an updraft!

 * Homer: When was the last time Barbra Streisand ever did the laundry for you? And when it's time to do the dishes, where's Ray Bolger?! I'll tell you where! Ray Bolger is looking out for Ray Bolger!!!

 * Ron Howard: [pitching a movie] And it builds to a powerful emotional climax, where the father has to decide which of his children will live... and which one... will die.
 * Executive: Pass. What else have you got?
 * Ron Howard: Well, there's one about a killer robot driving instructor, who travels back in time for some reason.
 * Executive: I'm listening.
 * Ron Howard: And this robot- He's got a challenging decision to make about whether his best friend lives... or dies.
 * Executive: Ehh.
 * Ron Howard: His best friend's a talking pie.
 * Executive: Sold! Howard, you've done it again!

D'oh-in in the Wind

 * Abe: [grabbing Homer's arm] Shame on you, boy! Put some damn pants on then pull'em down! Cause it's time for a spankin!

 * Homer Simpson: Hear ye, hear ye! The intergalactic jester proclaims this conformity factory closed!
 * [Kids cheer and burst out of the school]
 * Principal Skinner: 15 years of loyal service and this is how they tell me? A jester with an invisible proclamation?
 * Homer Simpson: Good morning, Starshine, Seth.

[Seth and Munchie gasp to find their garden is empty]
 * Munchie: What's going on?
 * Seth: What happened to our crops?
 * Homer Simpson: I picked them, juiced them, and delivered them to every store in town. Your business is saved.
 * Munchie: But there weren't enough vegetables left to fill that order.
 * Homer Simpson: That's what I thought of first. But then I found the other garden behind the barn, the one with the camouflaged netting.
 * Munchie: Uh-oh.
 * Seth: Homer, those were our personal vegetables.
 * Homer Simpson: But now the town can benefit from their own nutrients.

 * Young Homer on mural: How could you let me turn into you?
 * Homer: But-but-but the poncho--
 * Young Homer: "But-but-but the poncho!" Hit the road, square.

 * Marge: Doctor, will he be all right?
 * Dr. Hibbert: Yes, he was lucky. If that were a gladiola, he'd be dead right now.
 * Bart: Why don't you just pull it out?
 * Dr. Hibbert: [laughs] I'm a doctor, not a gardener.
 * Homer: Couldn't you prune some of the leaves so I can watch TV?
 * Dr. Hibbert: What did I just say?

Lisa Gets an "A"

 * Skinner: And, for the first time ever, our computer lab actually has a computer in it.
 * (Ralph is sitting at their newly installed computer, engrossed in an educational spelling program)
 * Ralph: Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! (the Coleco shows a cat with "C_T" underneath; he types "a" to spell "cat," which prompts a "meow" sound from the computer) I'm learnding.
 * Lisa: Aw, way to go, Ralph.

 * (Bart and Lisa are outside the boys' bathroom)
 * Lisa: Hey, I can't go in there!
 * Bart: Relax, there's nothing here you didn't see when Dad boycotted pants.
 * (Bart and Lisa knock on a closed stall door in the boys' bathroom)
 * Nelson: Hang on, I'll buzz you in. [short pause] Buzz.

 * Homer: Hurry up my arms are getting cold.
 * (Lisa sneezes inside the freezer Marge arrives)
 * Marge: Oh my goodness! Homer get her out of there!
 * Homer: Aw! (Pulls Lisa out of the freezer shivering holding an ice cream can)
 * Homer: (Picks the ice cream can from Lisa) Sherbert Hoover? (throws it back on the freezer)

Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"

 * Homer: Can't they use that artificial kidney I built?
 * Marge: Homer, that was just a beer can with a whistle glued to it.

 * Homer: If I die in the operation, will ya do one thing for me.
 * Marge: Oooh, anything sweetheart.
 * Homer: (serious tone) Blow up the hospital.

 * (after hearing Homer's story of how he ran away from his dying father after promising him one of his kidneys)
 * Concertina Player: (in a French accent) I stole this accordion from a blind monkey, but you (spits) You disgust even me!

 * (After being tossed off of the Ship of Lost Souls, AKA Honeybunch, watching it sail away into the fog)
 * Homer: That's the last time I trust the strangest people on Earth!

 * Homer: I'm the luckiest man in the world, now that Lou Gehrig's dead.

Mayored to the Mob

 * Mayor Quimby: Oh God. Can't this town go one day without a riot?

 * Moe: (after giving a bribe to Mayor Quimby, and under this some cockroaches start walking) We're working on that 'roach situation, I swear to God!
 * Mayor: (pauses briefly, then takes the money) Well, you should see the hospital.

 * Mayor Quimby: Luke, do something! Use your Lightsaber!
 * Mark Hamill: What, and break it?! You know George Lucas made me pay for these.

 * Comic Book Guy: Tell me, how do you feel about 45-year-old virgins who still live with their parents?
 * Female Comic Book Fan: Comb the SweetTarts out of your beard, and you're on.
 * Comic Book Guy: Don't try to change me, baby.

 * Frank Nelson Type: YEEEEEESSSSSS?
 * Homer: Do you have a table for the mayor?
 * Frank Nelson Type: YEEEEEESSSSS!
 * Homer: Why do you talk like that?
 * Frank Nelson Type: I had a STROOOOOOKE!

 * Homer Simpson: [to Bart and Lisa] Hold it, what's your clearance?
 * Bart Simpson: We just wanna get a snack.
 * Homer Simpson: Access denied.
 * Bart: But, Dad... [Homer pinches the kids on the shoulder, sending them to the floor, unconscious]
 * Marge: Homer, I don't want you using your new sleeper hold on the children.
 * Homer: They'll be fine in half an hour.

 * Homer: Oh My God, I killed the Mayor! Alright, stay calm. I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend At Bernie's.

 * Bart: If I was Fat Tony, and God willing someday I will be, I'd just be stewing in my jail cell getting madder and madder.
 * Homer: I don't have to worry about that, he's already out on bail. Well, I'm off to work.
 * Marge: You're guarding the mayor tonight, after Fat Tony swore revenge?
 * Homer: It's my duty, Marge. Besides, those mobsters don't scare me. Bart, will you start daddy's car?
 * Marge: Homer!
 * Homer: What? There's nothing to worry about.
 * Bart: Well, then you start it.
 * Homer: Alright, fine, I'll take a cab.

 * [As Homer fights for his life against one of Fat Tony's men]
 * Mark Hamill: Homer, use the-!
 * Homer: The Force?
 * Mark Hamill: The forks! Use the forks!

 * [Homer attending a Leavelle's body guard school]
 * Leavelle: Your loyalty is to your protectee. Not to you country. Not to your family. [turns to Homer] Not even to Moo-Hammid.
 * Homer: Even during Ramadan?
 * Leavelle: Shut your sass-hole boy.

 * Homer: Milking rats! THEY'RE MILKING RATS!
 * Mayor Quimby: (to Fat Tony) Rats?! I am outraged! You promised me dog or higher!

Viva Ned Flanders

 * Bart: Alright here comes the implosion!
 * Demolition Worker: [Pushes the plunger down] Implosion? I thought you said...
 * [The Monty Burns Casino blows up in a cloud of dust with a variety of things, as well as Don Rickles, flying out into the air]
 * Don Rickles: HOCKEY PUUUUUCK!
 * Homer Simpson: [as they all run from the dust] Heh, heh! Don Rickles zinged ya, Marge!

 * [After running over someone in the dust cloud]
 * Lisa: Dad, you hit Don Rickles!
 * Don Rickles: I'm okay, but some Puerto Rican guy's trying to steal your hubcaps. [laughs] Just kidding! I'm a nice guy.

 * Homer: Slave girl! Oh, slave girl!
 * Waitress: More libations, my imperial conqueror?
 * Homer: What was that?
 * Other Waitress: More booze. You want more booze?

 * Ned: Goshdarn it! Am I that pre-diddly-ictable? [sighs] I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life!
 * [a car stops besides Ned with Abe, Jasper and three attractive women]
 * Grampa: Hey there!
 * Ned: Look at that! Everyone's living it up except Ned. [car pulls away out of earshot]
 * Grampa: Help! We're being carjacked!
 * Woman: Don't get clever, old man. [cocks a revolver] Now take us to Dress Barn.

 * Ned: So what about all this meat?
 * Homer: Ah, the missus will clean that up.
 * Marge: Now it's Marge's time to shine!

 * Dr. Gonzo: That sure was a fun trip to Las Vegas.
 * Raoul Duke: Auh, too many kids.

 * Casino worker: Someone dishonoring their marriage vows!? Not in Las Vegas.

 * [While Homer and Ned try to flee]
 * Homer: [screams] The Moody Blues!
 * Graeme Edge: "Cold hearted Homer ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life"
 * Justin Hayward: "Chips of blue, and red, and white, but we decide..."
 * John Lodge: Oh can the poems, it's arse-whooping time!
 * Ray Thomas: [draws a switchblade] I want fatty! [Homer screams]

Wild Barts Can't Be Broken

 * Homer: Stupid Isotopes. Hurry up and lose so we can get outta here!
 * Lisa: Why do you hate the Isotopes so much, Dad?
 * Homer: Because I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything.
 * Lisa: Even you?
 * Homer: Especially me.
 * Bart: But you gotta support the team, Dad! They're already threatening to move to Moose Jaw.
 * Marge: That's right! Like my mother always said, you've got to stick it out, even if you picked the loser ... (sees Homer picking at his ear and looking at his finger afterward) ...to the bitter end.

 * Commentator: (about Babe Ruth IV) He's pointing to the stands, possibly at a dying little boy.
 * Bart: (to Marge, after realizing he's been pointed at) Mom, am I dying?!
 * Marge: (sympathetically) No.
 * Lisa: (whispering) Is he, Mom? You can tell me.
 * Marge: No!

 * Commentator: (as Babe Ruth gets ready) Is he indicating a bunt? Yes, he's bunting.
 * (The other team catch him straight away, and he trudges off forlornly)
 * Audience: BOOO!
 * Marge: Good hustle, kid!

 * Moe: (sighs) Ah, no one touched my rumaki.
 * Homer: (throws it at him) WOOOO, RUMAKI!!!

 * Chief Wiggum: (checking the boys' IDs) Sorry boys, but the curfew is final. (Looks at Nelson's) Oh, sorry to disturb you, Dr. Hibbert.
 * Nelson: (as Dr. Hibbert) Not at all, Officer! (chuckles)

 * Chief Wiggum: So, You enjoy this movie, Kids? Aah! Listen up punks. The moral of the story is, the adults always win! (The kids' eyes turn blue, as in the film) Waaarrgh! (It is revealed Eddie has been shining a light on the kids) For crying out loud, Eddie. You scared the hell out of me.
 * Eddie: Sorry, Chief. (chuckles)

 * Bart: Tune in tomorrow, and every day, until the curfew is lifted, because we'll be revealing embarrassing secrets about Springfield's other adults.
 * Homer: Well, at least they've already done me.
 * Bart: And we have plenty more on Homer Simpson.
 * Homer: D'oh!

 * Lisa: And guess who's been practicing medicine without a license?
 * [Dr. Hibbert looks around nervously]
 * Lisa: That's right...Homer Simpson!
 * Homer: D'oh!''

 * Nelson: You adults are always giving orders!
 * Skinner: Well, you kids are always disobeying them!
 * Milhouse: Adults treat kids like children!
 * Kirk: Kids treat adults like cash machines!

(start song)
 * Kids: (singing) Adults!
 * Adults: (singing) Kids!
 * Kids: (singing) Adults!
 * Adults: (singing) Kids!
 * Kids: (singing) Adults!
 * Rev. Lovejoy: (singing) Kids! You've had your fun and we've had our fill!
 * Homer: (singing) Yeah! You're only here because Marge forgot her pill!
 * Marge: (Embarrassed) Hmm.
 * Wiggum: (singing) Kids! You're all just scandalizing, vandalizing punks! [Nelson spray paints "Oink" on Wiggum's back]
 * Krusty: (singing) Channel-hopping, Ritalin popping monkeys! (To Allison: But please don't quit the fan-club!)
 * Marge: (singing) Kids! I can nag and nag till my hair turns blue!
 * Edna Krabappel: (singing) Kids! You bum my smokes and don't say thank-you.
 * Rod and Todd: (singing) Why can't you be like we are? (They get hit with tomatoes)
 * Adults: (singing) Oh what a bunch of brats!
 * Moe: (singing) We outta drown you just like cats!
 * Bart: (singing) Adults! You run our lives like you're Col. Klink!
 * Nelson: (singing) Adults! You strut around like your farts don't stink!
 * Lisa: (singing) Adults! You're such a drooling, snoring, boozing, boring bunch! Surly, meanie, three-martini lunchers!
 * Ralph: I just ate a thumbtack!
 * Milhouse: (singing) Adults! They're always telling us to-(Abe grabs him with his cane)
 * Abe: (singing) Shut your traps!
 * Jasper: (singing) Eh...We're all fed up with all of you whippersnaps. (Milhouse screams and runs )
 * Old folks: (singing) We're trying to get some sleep here; it's almost 6:15! What's the matter with-
 * Adults: (singing) Don't you treat us like-
 * Kids: (singing) Can't you just lay off-
 * Old folks: (singing) We're sick of all of you-
 * Everyone: (singing) KIDS...TOO...DAY!

Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

 * Krusty the Clown: "Legends of Comedy", my tuchus! What has Fatty Arbuckle done that I haven't done?

 * Moe: [scoffs] Bye weeks. Bronko Nagurski didn't get no bye weeks, and now he's dead! [pause] Well... maybe they're a good thing.

 * Chief Wiggum: All right, you guys have had way too much booze. [holds up some fresh bottles of Duff] Last call!
 * [The others clamor for the beer, getting overly rowdy]
 * Chief Wiggum: [aims a pistol at them] Come on! Give me an excuse!

 * [After Homer, Wally and their troupe charge through various hallways looking for the Superbowl (with "Song 2" playing in the background)]
 * Moe: Homer, we've been running around cheering for an hour! Where the hell's the game?!
 * Homer: You guys are following me?! I was following Flanders!

 * Guard: Players and VIPs only!

 * Catholic Church VO: The Catholic Church: We've made a few… changes.

Homer to the Max

 * [Homer sings to the tune of Goldfinger.]
 * Homer: Max Power
 * He's the man whose name you'd love to touch
 * But you musn't touch
 * His name sounds good in your ear
 * But when you say it, you musn't fear
 * 'Cause his name can't be said
 * By anyone--
 * [Mr. Burns walks in.]
 * Mr. Burns: Ah, Max Power! How's every little thing?
 * Homer: You remembered my name!
 * Mr. Burns: Well, who could forget the name of a magnetic individual like you? Keep up the good work, Max!
 * Homer: Mr. Power.
 * Mr. Burns: Yes, Mr. Power.

 * Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson. I don't wanna snuggle with Max Power.
 * Max (Homer): Nobody snuggles with Max Power - you strap yourself in and feel the G's! [performs a hip gyration]
 * Marge: Oh, Lord!
 * Max: And it doesn't stop in the bedroom. Oh no! I'm taking charge! Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
 * Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
 * Max: Yeah, but faster! [walks into a cactus] D'oh!
 * Lisa: We should really put that in the corner.

 * Max: Awww, this is the worst party ever.
 * Marge: Remember that New Year's Eve party at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock.

I'm With Cupid

 * [Homer is telling Lisa a bedtime story]
 * Homer: ...and then the handsome prince realized he had to go to the bathroom really bad, but the evil ogre, Barney, had left the men's room in the most wicked condition! So the prince went out back to the enchanted alley--
 * Lisa: That's not a fairy tale; it's something that happened to you at Moe's!
 * Homer: Sssh. Anyway, the prince passed out for a hundred years, until he was awakened by the kiss of a noble raccoon.

 * Homer: Everybody's marriages is falling apart except ours. You see the problem is communication.... too much communication.

 * Homer: Will you stop it! It's easy to blame ourselves, but it's even easier to blame Apu!

Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"

 * Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on?
 * Bart: Why, NBC, of course.
 * Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
 * Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
 * Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it.
 * Marge: But there's only one way to find out...
 * (cut to the closing credits)
 * Homer: (voice-over) I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... (sound of gun cocking)... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC - bad. Fox - good. (very softly) CBS great.
 * (sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Films logo appears, accompanied by three more gunshots. According to the audio commentary, George Meyer came up with the idea of shooting an already dead corpse a few times, he called them "safety shots")

 * Bart Simpson: I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.

 * Homer: I'm gonna die! Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!
 * Zookeeper: There's one rhino missing! If we don't find it, it'll be my ass on the barbie!
 * Homer: [as he, Bart and Lisa run from stampeding rhinos] Don't worry, kids! I know just what to do! JUMANJI! [the rhinos keep charging] Does anything from the movies actually work?!

 * Lisa: Mom, Bart took what I said and turned it into an insult!

Make Room for Lisa

 * Guard #1: [after Homer damaged the bill of rights] You just licked off the part that forbids cruel and unusual punishment.
 * Guard #2: [putting on brass knuckles] Hehe, beautiful.

 * Homer: Relax, Lisa! Meet your new comically mismatched roommate, Bart Simpson! (hums The Odd Couple Theme)
 * Bart: I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
 * Homer: (hums The Odd Couple theme and shoves Lisa in)

 * Homer: (turns on TV) Ooh, here's something you like. When Animals Attack Magicians.
 * Magician: Pick a card, any- (noise of animal attacking) Aaaaaagh!!!
 * (Homer laughs)
 * Lisa: (concerned) That's awful.
 * Homer: Awful entertaining.

 * Homer: (while in the sensory deprivation chamber, to the tune of The Witch Doctor) ooh! eee! ooh ah ah! Ting, Tang! Walla walla bing bang! Ooh eee ooh ah ah! Walla ting tang bing bing boo!

 * Lisa: Wow, I've been a cat, a tree, and Cokie Roberts. It's happening again. I wonder where I'm going this time. What's that?
 * [A sandwich appears on a black background]
 * Lisa: Yuck! That sandwich is full of meat. [As the meats rotate] There's bacon, Canadian bacon, Mexican bacon [drooling] and a mouth-watering veal chop.
 * [Two arms come from both sides of the screen, then grabs the sandwich. Lisa takes a bite]
 * Lisa: Oh, no, now I'm dad!
 * [background, from Homer's point of view, fades in. He's at a ballet]
 * Lisa: (as Homer) Oh, and I'm at a stupid boring ballet.

Maximum Homerdrive

 * Female Trucker: There goes the finest trucker who ever lived.
 * Homer: He called me "greenhorn." I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.
 * Male Trucker: In 38 years, he never missed a shipment. But I guess this is one delivery old Red won't be making.
 * Homer: Oh, yes he will....and on time, too.
 * Marge: Oh no, Homer, no.
 * Homer: I got to, honey. I owe it to Red as both his friend and his killer.
 * Bart: Oh, let me go with you, Dad.
 * Homer: Don't you have school?
 * Bart: Don't you have work?
 * Homer: Ahh, touché.

 * Homer: Look son, it's one of nature's wonders, the convoy!

 * Homer: Oh yeah, I need something that will keep me awake, alert and restless all night long.
 * Old Clerk: Well Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these. (Pulls out a bottle labeled Stimu-crank)
 * Homer: Sold! (Takes pills and eats them all)
 * Old Clerk: You can't take that many pep pills at once!
 * Homer: Don't worry. I'll balance it out with a bottle of sleeping pills.

 * Homer: What's happening to me? There's still food, but i don't wanna eat it. I've become everything I've ever hated! (cries)

 * Bart: Dad, they're going to kill us!
 * Homer: Oh, why do all my trips end like this?

 * Marge: Your father traded all of our tools for M&M's again.

Simpsons Bible Stories

 * Homer Simpson: (as Adam) [to Marge (as Eve)] You're pretty uptight for a naked chick.

 * (The Simpsons watch as their neighborhood is engulfed by The Apocalypse)
 * Marge: Oh, no, it's the Apocalypse! Bart, are you wearing clean underwear?
 * Bart: Not anymore.
 * Lisa Simpson: It's Rapture, and I never knew true love.
 * Homer: I never used those pizza coupons.

 * Wiggum: Hey, Pharaoh, those half-pint slaves are "exodus Ing" as we speak.
 * Skinner: Well, I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
 * Wiggum: Okay, but who's going to build your pyramids?
 * Skinner: Well, we-- After them!

 * Milhouse as Moses: (Israelites reach the Red Sea as the Egyptians chase them) Screw this! I'm converting. Save us, O Mighty Ra!

 * Slave Lisa: Now we have 40 years of wandering in the desert.
 * Milhouse/Moses: Forty years? But after that, it's clear sailing for the Jews, right?
 * Slave Lisa: Uh, more or less...Hey, is that manna?

 * Bart/David: Goliath II is going to pay. And this time, it's biblical.

Mom and Pop Art

 * [Homer tries to build a barbecue pit, but all the set's content spills out of box and onto cement bed, and when he takes them out and puts them on the barrow filled with bricks, the bricks fall in as well; Homer then tries to put the pit together as much as he can before the concrete dries, but the instructions are covered in wet cement]
 * Homer: English side ruined! Must use French instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that?!
 * [Cut to some time later, as it appears the pit was built exactly as the box showed]
 * Homer: Yeah, that's one fine looking barbecue pit. [it is revealed to be the design on the box, as the real end result is a jumbled mess] WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?! [screams in rage, starts hitting pit with a crowbar] WHY?! Why must life be so hard?! Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry?!
 * [Cut to kitchen, as Marge is making a cake and Bart is licking a popsicle]
 * Marge: How's your father's project coming along?
 * Bart: I think he's almost done. [He looks out, as we see Homer charge towards pit with an umbrella whilst screaming, shove it into an opening, and fall backwards as it opens up] Yeah, he's done.

 * [Homer is getting hit by soup cans thrown by Andy Warhol]
 * Andy Warhol: Soup's on, fat boy.
 * [Homer is on the ground whimpering. Warhol approaches him with a larger soup can. Homer awakes from the dream.]
 * Homer: Andy! No!
 * Marge: Homer! Homer!
 * Homer: [waking up] Oh, Marge! Why does art hate me? I never did anything to art. [he holds up his arm, his fist is through one of Andy Warhol's Soup Can paintings] Oh. Let's get out of here.

 * Homer: [as he looks at a picture of "Life in Hell"'s Akbar and Jeff] Matt Groening? What's he doing in a museum? He can barely draw.

 * Skinner: Edna, look! A dimmer switch could ratchet up the romance in our love nest.
 * Krabappel: You mean the janitor's closet? Ha!
 * Skinner: Oh, what's the matter, Edna? Lately you just say "ha!" to everything.
 * Krabappel: I want a baby... Now! [Bart is watching them]
 * Skinner: Why don't we continue this in Pool Supplies?

 * Homer: How about it, Bart? Would you like a new backyard barbecue pit?
 * Bart: Can I burn evidence in it?
 * Homer: We can all burn evidence in it.

 * [as Homer attempts to get rid of the barbecue pit by putting it in the "Toys for Tots" bin...]
 * Chief Wiggum: Yeah, hold on there, Santa Claus. That box is for toys only.
 * Homer: Well, of course! Any kid would love to have this ... activity center. It teaches them while they learn!
 * Chief Wiggum: Yeah, nice try, Saint Nick. Now hit the road, Kris Kringle!
 * Homer: But...but--
 * Chief Wiggum: You heard me, [pokes Homer's gut with nightstick] Père Noël. [Homer puts the barbecue pit on the cart and leaves; Fat Tony, Legs, and Louie come and dump a body in a bag into the bin] Whatcha got there?
 * Louie: Beanie Baby.

 * Astrid: Your husband's work is what we call "outsider art". It could be by a mental patient, or a hillbilly, or a chimpanzee.
 * Homer: [gasps] In high school I was voted "Most Likely to Be a Mental Patient, Hillbilly, or Chimpanzee"!

 * Homer: Lisa, all great artists love free food. Check out Jasper Johns.
 * Jasper Johns: [stuffs food into his jacket] You squeal on me, I'll kill you.

 * Marge: Homie, I'm really happy you sold your sculpture, but don't you think it may have been a fluke?
 * Homer: Hey, I've always had an interest in art, dating back to my schoolgirl days when I painted portrait after portrait of Ringo Starr.
 * Marge: That's my life you're describing!
 * Homer: I think I remember my own life, Marge.

 * Homer: Moe, this is Astrid, my dealer, and these are my fans: Gunter, Kilto, and Cecil Hamstead on Cecil Cecil.
 * Moe: So, uh, you guys are Euro trash, huh? How's that, uh, workin' out for ya?
 * Gunter: Eh, to be honest, we are a drift in a sea of decadent luxury and meaningless sex.
 * Moe: Uh-huh, so where might this sea be located?

 * Gunther: You've gone from hip to boring. Why don't you call us when you get to kitsch.
 * Cecil Hampstead-on-Cecil Cecil: Come on Gunther, Kyoto. If we hurry we can still catch the heroin craze.

 * Homer: Why don't people like my art anymore?
 * Marge: Homer, I know you worked hard, but all of your ... things were kind of the same.
 * Homer: Hey, Ray Jay Johnson never changed his act, and he's more popular now than he's ever been.
 * Lisa: Who?
 * Homer: "You can call him Ray, or you can call him Jay, or you can call him Ray Jay, but you doesn't have to call him..."
 * Lisa: I'm sick of him already.

 * [Homer and Bart are throwing welcome mats out of the car windows, covering up the street drains]
 * Bart: Hit the road, "Welcome home"!
 * Homer: Adiós, "Casa de Flanders"!
 * Bart: See you in Hell, "God bless this house"!
 * Homer: So long, "The Simpsons"! ...D'oh!

 * [as Homer opens up the fire hydrants]
 * Bart: Are you sure this is art and not vandalism?
 * Homer: That's for the courts to decide, son.

 * [after Homer floods Springfield]
 * Astrid: [while floating on a log] I love it, Homer! You've turned this town into a work of art! I just wish Jasper Johns hadn't stolen my boat.
 * Jasper Johns: [speeds by on a motorboat which splashes Astrid] So long, suckers!

 * Flanders: Maude, it's a miracle! The Lord has drowned the wicked and spared the righteous.
 * Maude: [gasps] Isn't that Homer Simpson?
 * Flanders: Looks like heaven's easier to get into than Arizona State.

 * Marge: Well, Homer, I have to admit, you created something people really love. You truly are an artist.
 * Homer: No, I'm just a nut who couldn't build a barbecue.

The Old Man and The "C" Student

 * Abe: Settle a bet. Boil or mole?

 * Bart: Hey, Chalmers, where are you from?
 * Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I was born in Queens, went to Ball State, then made the move to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Uh, why do you ask?
 * (Bart is about to say something when Skinner quickly puts his hand over his mouth)
 * Principal Skinner: Uh, don't worry, sir. I'll teach these children some respect for their town. I'm assigning each of you 20 hours of community service.
 * (the children walk offstage, groaning and moaning)
 * Ralph: Intercourse?
 * Nelson: What if we refuse?
 * Skinner: You won't pass to the next grade!
 * Nelson: I fail to see the threat.
 * Chalmers: SKINNER! Good idea. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at Lake Titicaca. Try to make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy.
 * (Bart looks at Skinner, and Skinner waves his hands "no")

Monty Can't Buy Me Love

 * Mr. Burns: It's time to win the love of these hate-filled morons.

 * Appraisal Lady: At auction, I'd expect this to sell for $20-30,000. Except that on the handle, somebody's carved "Homer Rocks!"
 * Homer: And I do! WOO!!
 * Appraisal Lady: Appraised value: $15.
 * Moe: I'm gonna kill him! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!! [picks up Skinner's antique gun, which disintegrates]

 * Mr. Burns: The man has no idea how to behave like a billionaire. Where's the dignity? Where's the contempt for the common man?

 * Mr. Burns: Simpson! I want to be loved.
 * Homer: Well, I'll need some beer.

 * Marge: I don't know how you can all just lay ... When was the last time we went for a good, old-fashioned family walk?

 * Selma: Single? He passes the Selma test!
 * Marge: Oh,

They Saved Lisa's Brain

 * (Homer talks to the boudoir photographer over the phone)
 * Homer: You're not going to ask me to pose nude, are you?
 * Photographer: Well, yes, unless you have issues about revealing your body.
 * Homer: I don't, but the block association seems to. They wanted a "traditional" Santa.

 * Lisa: [writing her letter] We can better ourselves!
 * [Lisa then sees a naked Bart riding a pig in the hallway]
 * Lisa: [to herself] Well, most of us.

 * [Stephen Hawking and Homer go for beers at Moe's]
 * Stephen Hawking: Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing, Homer. I may have to steal it.
 * Homer: Wow. I can't believe someone I never heard of is hanging out with a guy like me.
 * Moe: All right, it's closing time. Who's payin' the tab?
 * Homer: [imitating Hawking's voice] I am.
 * Stephen Hawking: I didn't say that.
 * Homer: [still imitating Hawking] Yes, I did. [Hawking hits Homer in the face with the boxing glove from his wheelchair] D'oh.

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

 * Groundskeeper Willie: Let's see what's been captured in the Up-Kilt camera. Ugh, this lass needs a bit of groundskeepin'. Agh, that's Willie!

 * Marge: Hawaii here we come!
 * Lisa No, no. We're going to Paris I can feel it.
 * Bart: Come on Transylvania
 * Homer (Jamaican accent) No mon, let's go home to Jamaica. I and I been in Babylon too long!

 * PA: Welcome to Japan, folks. The local time is tomorrow.

 * Marge: C'mon Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon.
 * Homer: That's not how I remember it. Besides if we wanted to see Japanese people, we could've gone to the zoo.
 * Marge: (offended by Homer's allegedly racist comment) Homer!
 * Homer: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. His name is Takashi. He was in my book club.
 * Lisa: Look, Mom, the safety instructions are written in haiku.
 * "Fasten seat belts tight.
 * Your seat cushions float gently.
 * Headsets, five dollars."

 * Japanese toilet: Welcome. I am honored to accept your waste.
 * Homer: (gasps) They're years ahead of us!
 * Bart: (as he turns on the TV in the next room) Mom, Lis, check it out, Dad's on TV.
 * Homer: (unzips his pants and sits on the toilet) Oh, yeah!
 * Marge, Bart and Lisa: (from the next room) Agghh!
 * Homer: [Japanese version of D'oh! in English subtitles]

 * Captain: Uh, folks, we’re experiencing some moderate Godzilla-related turbulence at this time, so I’m going to go ahead and ask you to put your seatbelts back on. When we get to 35 thousand feet, he usually does let go, so from there on out, all we have to worry about is Mothra, and, uh, we do have reports he’s tied up with Gamera and Rodan at the present time. Thank you very much.

 * Lenny: Hey, isn't that Homer on the Japanese channel?
 * Moe: Wait a minute. If that's Homer, who's been putting beers on his tab?
 * Barney: [dressed unconvincingly as Homer] D'oh! Woo-hoo! Uh.... That boy ain't right!

title: The Simpsons/Season 10


text:
Laurence Binyon

Robert Laurence Binyon, CH (August 10, 1869 – March 10, 1943) was an English poet. He was a Quaker and a pacifist who worked during the First World War as a medical orderly with the Red Cross on the Western Front. He is mainly known for his poem "For the Fallen," which is quoted on many war memorials.

Quotes

 * They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning We will remember them.
 * "For the Fallen" (1914), fourth verse
 * 'Condemn' is sometimes quoted as 'Contemn'. Both make sense in the context, but it was 'condemn' which was included in the first printing of the poem on page 9 of The Times of 21 September 1914. Binyon did not change it to 'contemn' when shown the proof of a later printing.

 * We are living in a time of trouble and bewilderment, in a time when none of us can foresee or foretell the future. But surely it is in times like these, when so much that we cherish is threatened or in jeopardy, that we are impelled all the more to strengthen our inner resources, to turn to the things that have no news value because they will be the same to-morrow that they were to-day and yesterday — the things that last, the things that the wisest, the most farseeing of our race and kind have been inspired to utter in forms that can inspire ourselves in turn.
 * Lecture on opening a new library at Sutton High School (24 September 1938) during the Munich crisis, as quoted in "Books As Source Of Inner Strength," The Times (26 September 1938), p. 19

title: Laurence Binyon


text:
User:SophisticatedPrimate~enwikiquote

 * A good quote is like a finely cut diamond, incredibly compact yet endlessly fascinating.
 * Me

 * It is my ambition to say in ten sentences; what others say in a whole book.
 * Friedrich Nietzsche

title: User:SophisticatedPrimate~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:61.21.114.85

- InvisibleSun 20:24, 12 November 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:61.21.114.85


text:
Garfield: The Movie

Garfield: The Movie, officially called Garfield, is a 2004 live-action/computer-animated family fantasy buddy comedy film inspired by Jim Davis' comic strip of the same name. In this film, Garfield is the large, obese cat was created with computer animation, though all other animals were real. Bill Murray provides the voice of the titular cat.
 * Directed by Peter Hewitt. Produced by John Davis. Written by Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow. Music by Christophe Beck.

Get ready for the frisky business(taglines)

Garfield

 * No. Down. Down dumb dog.
 * Canines, felines and "vermines", it's showtime!

Dialogue

 * Nermal: Garfield, Jon brought a dog home.
 * Garfield: I'm aware, Nermal.
 * Nermal: Why would he do a thing like that?
 * Garfield: Gee, I don't know, Nermal.
 * Nermal: It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.
 * Garfield: Can we drop it? I mean, it's no big deal. It's just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life.
 * Nermal: A bug?
 * Garfield: A dimwitted, smelly, goofy, splattered bug that I will deal with appropriately and enthusiastically.
 * Jon: Come on!
 * Garfield: As you can see, I'm still Jon's favorite.
 * Nermal: See you later, Garfield. Good luck with the bug thing!

 * [part of the opening scene, when Garfield wakes up and tries to wake Jon up]
 * Garfield: Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up. You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here. Now, just wake up. You've got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary caregiver.
 * Jon: [still asleep] Not now, Garfield. [throws his arm over him]

 * Luca: You're on the wrong side of the street, fat cat. Beat it!
 * Garfield: And you, Luca, the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.
 * Luca: Okay, that's it. You're gonna get it good today.
 * Garfield: I make a point to get it good every day. The real question, Luca, is how shall I outwit you this time?
 * Luca: What?
 * Garfield: Shall I baffle you with simple math?
 * Luca: I know how to spell.
 * Garfield: Or should I distract you with something shiny?
 * Luca: Now you're making fun of me.
 * Garfield: I hope so. You're no fun to look at.
 * Luca: You'll never get the best of me, ya li--! Uhh.
 * Garfield: I think I just did.
 * Luca: [realising that Garfield has tangled his [Luca's] chain around the duck statuettes in his owner's front garden] Not the ducks again!
 * Garfield: Jump back! And kiss myself. Oooh!
 * Luca: If I ever get off this chain, you're goin' down.
 * Garfield: Everybody back up! I don't know how wild this thing is gonna get. I love the smell of cinnamon-apple in the morning. It smells like... victory.
 * Luca: God! I hate this fat cat.

 * [Jon is in his office downstairs in his house, working on his computer. Garfield is sitting on the desk]
 * Garfield: [feel relaxed] Aah. So much time and so little I need to do. [Just a chubby little mouse appears when Jon spots it]
 * Jon: Mouse! [Garfield also spots]
 * Garfield: No thanks, I'm full.
 * Jon: Get him, Garfield!
 * Garfield: Get him, Jon. [While jon is chaseing the mouse] Oh, there's always gotta be smashing and crashing. Nobody poisons anymore. There's my ball!
 * Jon: What good is a cat that can't chase a mouse?
 * Garfield: I don't do the chase thing. All right, I'll handle this. I know you don't hear me, but can't you just listen?

 * Garfield: [feel relaxed at home] Oh, do I feel good this morning. I slept like a fat cat. Hey, tall dark and human, what's for breakfast?
 * Jon: [looking for Odie, concerned] Odie! Where are you boy?
 * Garfield: Relax, I think he was gonna camp out.
 * Jon: Odie?
 * Garfield: Well, he probably had a sleepover at Luca's, I think.
 * Jon: Odie! Odie?
 * Garfield: Well, maybe he's fetching the paper for the neighbors. Where is that silly dog?

 * Garfield: Oh...delicious!

 * Garfield: Another day ruined. Oh, you little suck-up! Oh! No! Down! Down, dumb dog! What part of no don't you understand? The push off the chair? OFF! I don't want to play. Oh, look, what am I supposed to say? Thanks for saving my hide with Luca? Okay, thanks for saving my hide with Luca. Now, get off!

 * [Arlene and Nermal while watching Odie, who is very sad after Garfield locked him out]
 * Arlene: Poor Odie. That cat is such a pig!
 * Nermal: [confused] Garfield's a pig?
 * Arlene: You never put the dog out at night.
 * Nermal: Why not?
 * Arlene: Because dogs run away.

 * Happy Chapman: Any work from the network yet?
 * Wendell: No, but they're looking for a dog act on Good Day, New York.
 * Happy Chapman: Dog act?! Story of my life: looking for a dog and I'm stuck with a cat!
 * Wendell: I thought the segment went quite well.
 * Happy Chapman: [mockingly] "I thought the segment went quite well." Of course it went well, you toad! The fifty housewives who saw it loved it. [sees his brother, Walter J. Chapman, presenting the news on TV] Oh please, what a know-it-all! And everybody always said I was the handsome one. I was the smart one. And I was born first! But there you are, "live from the Hague", and here I am, stuck working with this sack of dander on a dead-end regional morning show.

 * [While Jon kicks Garfield out of the house at night, after Garfield accidentally wrecked the house in a fit of rage]
 * Garfield: You just can't do this, Jon. He's trying to tear us apart. Don't you see that? You know me, I'm too lazy to try to destroy your house. [Repeatedly tries to go back inside, but Jon keeps blocking him] I was provoked, pushed, prodded, driven mad. You can't kick me out of my own house like I'm some kind of animal! [Jon closes the door] Oh, come on, Jon. Jon! You know I'm scared of the dark.

 * [Arlene, Luca and Nermal confront Garfield for what he did to Odie]
 * Luca: Hey! What are you lookin' at?
 * Garfield: Nothing, just looking for some company.
 * Nermal: Keep walking, creepo.
 * Garfield: What's going on?
 * Arlene: We know how much you hated Odie. We know how much you wanted him gone.
 * Garfield: Wait a minute. All I wanted was to sleep in my own bed!
 * Arlene: And to do it, you cast Odie out into the cold, cruel world?!
 * Nermal: We saw how you locked Odie outside last night!
 * Garfield: Oh, I don't believe you, guys. I didn't know he was gonna run away. He's a dumb dog! No offense, Luca.
 * Luca: Uh, what?
 * Garfield: You can't blame me for that.
 * Nermal: Any one of us could be next.
 * Arlene: Yeah. There's no room for anybody else in Garfield's world.
 * Garfield: Huh? Oh, that's a little dramatic. Well, I guess I might have been a little bit tough about protecting my turf, but I don't hate the guy.

 * [Jon gives Garfield some mashed up cat-food and sets down his own microwavable hash-browns next to Garfield's cat food bowl]
 * Jon: It's liver-flavored. [walks over to the sink]
 * Garfield: [sarcastically] Mmm, delicious. [disgusted] Yuck! [when Jon comes back with a fork, he does not notice that Garfield has taken his hash-browns and has put his own bowl of cat-food where Jon left his own breakfast; Jon accidentally takes a bite of the cat food]
 * Jon: [disgusted] Ugh. Oh, liver! [he runs to the sink and spits in it as he turns on the faucet]
 * Garfield: [smugly] Well, actually, it's liver-flavored.

 * Arlene: Garfield, are you alright?
 * Garfield: I think so. Luca's about to have Odie for lunch.
 * Arlene: If it wasn't for Odie, you'd be Luca's chew toy.
 * Nermal: Yeah, he saved your life. Odie's a hero!
 * Garfield: Why, because I wasn't ripped to shreds? No, Odie's an imbecile until further notice.

 * Garfield: Hey, moondust, if I were you, I'd grab a nice piece of carpet. Jon doesn't let me sleep up top. Ever.
 * Jon: [sighs] Odie, you wanna sleep in the bed? Okay.
 * Garfield: Wha...?
 * Jon: Hey, buddy. Good boy. Who's a good boy, huh? You want to sleep on the bed tonight? [in high voice as if pretending to make Odie talk] Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
 * Garfield: I think I'm going to blow Cat-Chow Chunks.
 * Jon: Good night, Odie. Good night, Garfield.
 * Garfield: Great. Wish me luck with the nightmares.

 * Garfield: Thanks a lot, partner.
 * Louis: Oh, yeah. Hold up, G.
 * Garfield: What?
 * Louis: Watch out for the po-po. You know, 5-o? Control-o?
 * Garfield: [confused] Huh?
 * Louis: Animal control, man!
 * Garfield: Oh, that po-po.

 * [Louis, a chubby little mouse who was running when Garfield arrives]
 * Garfield: Louis, what are you doing in the house when Jon's home?
 * Louis: Sorry, Garfield. Man, I couldn't help it.
 * Garfield: Look, when he sees you, he expects more from me. Don't you get that?
 * Louis: Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies I'm trying to maintain. You understand?
 * Garfield: Sure, as long as you understand that I have to eat you. [Louis moans]
 * Jon: Ah, good work, Garfield! See, I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it. You're the best cat a guy could ever have.
 * Garfield: Have you tasted yourself lately?
 * Louis: Hey, it wasn't exactly the first-class lounge in there for me, either.
 * Garfield: Get yourself lost, Louis. Take a powder for a couple of days, get a haircut, and grow a beard.
 * Louis: Cool. I owe you one, G.

 * Jon: Okay, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What... What am I gonna do? I've waited for this night my entire life.
 * Garfield: If you tell her the truth, you'll feel much better. And you won't have to see her anymore. It's kinda creepy having a vet around the house, anyway.
 * Jon: I can't just go out and pretend like nothing's happened, can I?
 * Garfield: Well, I sure could. The one thing you can't do is tell her the dog's gone.
 * Jon: I gotta tell her.
 * Garfield: No.
 * Jon: I've gotta tell her.
 * Garfield: No! That's not what I said! Schmuck.

 * Happy Chapman: [annoyed] I can't go on like this anymore, Wendell. I've got to get a dog.
 * Wendell: Well, I think that is a lovely idea! I know you've been sad and lonely since the divorce, and I've tried to be a friend--
 * Happy Chapman: Not for me, you imbecile; For the act. If I could get my hands on a really talented dog, wouldn't Walter J. just choke on his Emmy?
 * Wendell: [sees something] Like Odie?
 * Happy Chapman: Yeah, yeah. Now he was good. He was kind of dopey-looking and spry and--
 * Wendell: [sees a poster saying "Dog found"] Lost. [see Odie on the poster]
 * Happy Chapman: Huh? [Chapman comes over to the window to see the "Dog Found" poster; His eyes widen upon recognizing the dog]

 * Happy Chapman: I believe you found my dog. He answers to "Odie".
 * Mrs. Baker: Odie?
 * Happy Chapman: Family name. [spots Odie] Oh, Odie! Oh, come on! There you are! Yes! I can live again now. How could I ever repay you?
 * Mrs. Baker: An autograph would be splendid!
 * Happy Chapman: Then splendid it shall be.

 * Garfield: You know... I think I had a nightmare like this once. [screams as he falls into a lasagna truck, then crashes, causing empty boxes to go flying] Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle... of lasagna.

 * Garfield: Why? Why has this happened? I was the one. It was all about me, not about some stupid, snivelling, smelly-- high-maintenance, disco dog! [gets enraged and kicks the ball into a standard lamp] Oh, no.

 * [Mrs. Baker answers the door to Jon and Liz]
 * Jon: Hi. I'm Jon Arbuckle.
 * Liz: Hi.
 * Jon: Uh, I think you have my dog, Odie.
 * Mrs. Baker: Oh, I think you're mistaken.
 * Jon: No, I saw the flier. Odie is my dog.
 * Mrs. Baker: No, he is Happy Chapman's dog.
 * Jon: [confused] Happy Chapman?
 * [Mrs. Baker holds up a hand as if to say, "Hold on a sec."]
 * Jon: [as he and Liz look at each other] What?
 * Mrs. Baker: [holding an autographed picture of Happy] The gentleman with the cat on Channel 37. He came, and took Odie home. Odie is the family name, you know?
 * [Jon and Liz look at each other again]
 * Mrs. Baker: Well, uh… Good day.
 * Jon: W-wait, wait!
 * [Mrs. Baker shuts the door anyway. Jon and Liz turn away in shock]
 * Jon: Happy Chapman took Odie? Do you think that he has got Garfield, too?
 * Liz: I don't know, but we're gonna find out. [she and Jon walk away]

 * Dog: All right, boys! DOG PILE! Hit him low! Hit him high!
 * Garfield: Thanks, boys. The home team will take it from here. Better split before Animal Control gets here.

 * [Nermal and Arlene are watching TV]
 * Walter J. Chapman: This is Walter J. Chapman with breaking news from the Midwest. Abby Shields reporting. What did you got for me, Abby?
 * Abby Shields: The details are sketchy, but it appears that a deranged man may be the cause of all of the trouble here.
 * Nermal: A deranged man? What's this?
 * [Two police officers take Happy to a police car]
 * Abby Shields: In fact, police are bringing the suspect out as we speak.
 * Walter J. Chapman: Aaahh! Good grief. It's my idiot brother. [makes a "Cut" gesture]
 * Nermal: Hey! It's Happy Chapman. He's going for a ride in a police car.

About Garfield: The Movie

 * So I sat down and watched the whole thing, and I kept saying, "Who the hell cut this thing? Who did this? What the fuck was Coen thinking?" And then they explained it to me: It wasn't written by that Joel Coen.
 * Bill Murray "Bill Murray Voiced 'Garfield' Because He Confusedly Thought The Screenwriter Was Someone Else", as quoted by Aly Weisman, Business Insider, Jan. 21, 2014.

Main cast

 * Bill Murray — Voice of Garfield
 * Breckin Meyer — Jon Arbuckle
 * Jennifer Love Hewitt — Liz Wilson
 * Stephen Tobolowsky — Happy Chapman / Walter J. Chapman
 * Evan Arnold — Wendell
 * Mark Lawrence — Christopher Mello
 * Eve Brent — Mrs. Baker
 * Leyna Nguyen — Abby Shields

Additional voice cast

 * Nick Cannon — Louis
 * Alan Cumming — Sir Roland (a.k.a. Persnikitty)
 * David Eigenberg — Nermal
 * Brad Garrett — Luca
 * Jimmy Kimmel — Spanky
 * Debra Messing — Arlene
 * Richard Kind — Dad Rat
 * Debra Jo Rupp — Mom Rat
 * Wyatt Smith Jordan Kaiser Alyson Stoner — Kid Rats

title: Garfield: The Movie


text:
The Simpsons/Season 11

The Simpsons (1989–present) is an American animated sitcom broadcast by the Fox Broadcasting Company created by Matt Groening. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family.

Beyond Blunderdome

 * Mel Gibson: John Travolta flew me in his jet. Now I have to help him move next weekend. He deliberately waited 'til we were in the air to ask me!

 * Hannah: Oh, no! We killed Mel Gibson!
 * Christian: You all saw it. He came at me with a knife, right?
 * (Trio drives up to the dummy)
 * Milo: Hey, it's just a dummy.
 * Christian: I know but he sells tickets. (Hannah and Milo are confused) Let's go.

 * Mel Gibson: So Homer, will you come to Hollywood with me?
 * Homer: You had me at hello ("smiles")
 * Mel Gibson: I didn't say hello.

 (Crowd surrounds Mel Gibson)
 * Mel Gibson: Hi, everybody.
 * Dr. Nick: Hi, Mr. Gibson!

 * (Marge, Bart, and Lisa are walking the streets of Hollywood)
 * Marge: Oh, look, they're shooting a movie! Robert Downey Jr.'s shooting it out with the police!
 * (Scene shows Robert Downey Jr. and police officers firing shots at each other)
 * Bart: (Looks around) I don't see any cameras...

 * (After the executive screening of Mel's violent remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)
 * Executive: You've desecrated a classic film! This is worse than Godfather III!
 * Mel Gibson: Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa, let's not say things we can't take back.
 * Executive: Alright, alright, I'm sorry. But this film is never going to see the light of day!

Brother's Little Helper

 * Groundskeeper Willie: [talking to Skinner about Bart] Just say the word, and I'll drive this hoe into his back! [conversationally] I can make it look like suicide!

 * Mark McGwire: Young Bart here is right. We are spying on you, pretty much around the clock.
 * Bart: But why, Mr. McGwire?
 * Mark McGwire: Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?
 * Crowd: Dingers! Dingers!

 * [Burns observes Bart's tank rampage through binoculars]
 * Burns: Smithers, we're at war!
 * Smithers: I'll begin profiteering, sir.
 * Burns: And hoarding! Leave it to the Democrats to let the Spaniards back in the pantry!

 * Marge: I understand the electrodes, but why does he have to be on a treadmill?
 * Pharm 1: Oh, that was his idea. He said he felt fat.
 * Marge: Oh.
 * Pharm 2: You said he was concerned about satellites?
 * Marge: And their beams.
 * Pharm 2: Any other strange behavior?
 * Homer: He quit blinking. He says that's when they get you.
 * Pharm 2: I had a feeling that might happen. This carboxyl group sometimes causes problems. [indicates molecular model]
 * Homer: And we trusted you! [strangles model]
 * Marge: I think we should take him off the drug.
 * Pharm 1: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't just go off Focusyn.
 * Pharm 2: But we can ease Bart onto one of its sister drugs, like chlorhexinol, and augment that with some phenolbutamine.
 * Pharm 1: Hmm, and maybe some cyclobenzanone?
 * Pharm 2: That's a great idea! [they kiss]

Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?

 * Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Nelson, and Homer in the car on the way to the Springfield Shopper
 * Milhouse: Hey, I know how we can have some fun. I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with "D."
 * Nelson: Dingus! [Nelson punches Milhouse on the head]
 * Homer: God bless you, Nelson Muntz.
 * Nelson: Eh, I'm no hero. I just like to hit people on the head.

 * Homer: Well, here we are, kids, the zoo.
 * Bart: Well, that's great dad, except you were supposed to take us to the newspaper.
 * Homer: D'oh! (echoes throughout the zoo causing the animals to run riot)
 * (all arrive at the Springfield Shopper and Homer is holding a balloon that says "Zoo")

 * Newspaper editor: ...And to protect Mother Earth, each copy contains a certain percentage of recycled paper.
 * Lisa: And what percent is that?
 * Newspaper editor: Zero.
 * (Lisa frowns)
 * Newspaper editor: Zero’s a percent.
 * Homer: I smell cake! Cake that says (sniff sniff) "Farewell" and (sniff sniff) "Best Wishes"!
 * Nelson: Your old man has an awesome nose.
 * Bart: Oh, that's nothing. He can hear pudding.

 * Homer: Look Marge, they're paying me to eat!
 * Bart: Yeah, now if we can get someone to pay you for scratching your butt, we'd be on Easy Street!

 * (Homer and Lisa are dining at a rotating restaurant)
 * Lisa: The food is exquisite.
 * Homer: And the view is... (the restaurant rotates to show a water fountain) beautiful... (the restaurant rotates to show a church) inspirational....(the restaurant rotates to Patty and Selma's apartment, where the two are in sports bras and sweatpants, exercising in front of the TV) nauseating...(groans and passes out)

 * Critic #1: (to Homer) Everything's a rave. "Nine thumbs up", what the hell is that?

 * Homer: The food at the Gilded Truffle really ... What's a good word?
 * Maggie: (sucks on pacifier)
 * Homer: Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really ... Come on, help me out here!
 * Santa's Little Helper: Ruff!
 * Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
 * Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?
 * Homer: Chewy! That's inspired!

 * Luigi: Homer is out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head on the bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review! True Story.
 * McAllister: Argh, well I've had it with Homer. His bad reviews are sinking our businesses.
 * Akira: Then, why did you put yours in the window?
 * McAllister: Argh, it's covered up the 'D' from the health inspector.
 * Man: Well, I say we ban Homer from our restaurants.
 * Akira: No, that would be impolite. I say we kill him!
 * Izzy's Deli Chef: Hold on a minute. Are we changing to murderers.
 * McAllister: Does that answer your question?
 * Akira: We'll kill him at the taste of Springfield Festival. We'll make him eat until he can eat no more. Then, he can have just dessert.
 * French Chef: This will be Homer Simpson's last lagniappe.
 * Man: Come on, you're going to kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change!
 * French Chef: This éclair is over one million calories. Twenty-five pounds of butter per square inch. Covered with chocolate so dark that light cannot escape its surface. [The chefs reach for the picture] No, no, no! This is just a picture. But Homer Simpson will find the real thing both delicious and deadly.
 * Akira: Ah, yes, Death by Chocolate.
 * French Chef: ...and poison, I'll stick in some poison. (Restaurant Owners Laughing Evilly)

 * Marge: Only your father can take up a part-time job in a small town newspaper and end up the target of international assassins.

Treehouse of Horror X

 * Lisa: [about the aliens' episode introduction] So what do aliens have to do on Halloween?
 * Maggie: [in Kang's voice] Silence!

 * Marge: It's impossible! I killed you!
 * Ned Flanders: [ Chuckles ] You can't kill the undead, silly.

 * Lisa: So you were going to kill us!
 * Ned Flanders: [ Chuckles ] Yeah.

 * Prof. Frink: Yes, over here, n'hey, n'hey. In episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa, yet in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian. Please do explain it.
 * Lucy Lawless: Ah, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.
 * Frink: I see, all right, yes, but in episode AG4 —
 * Lawless: Wizard.
 * Frink: [under breath] Aw, for glaven out loud.

 * The Collector: Stop right there! I have here the only working phaser ever built; it was fired only once...to keep William Shatner from making another album!

 * [The world descends into chaos due to Homer's negligence]
 * Homer: Oh, well. Those ivory tower eggheads have screwed us again.

 * [The Simpsons walk through Springfield as chaos ensues]
 * Lisa: Well, look at the wonders of the computer age now.
 * Homer: Wonders, Lisa? Or blunders?
 * Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
 * Homer: Implied, Lisa? Or implode?
 * Lisa: Mom, make him stop.

 * Homer: [Trying to pass himself off as smart to let himself onto the rocket to Mars] Surely, you must know me! I'm, uh...the piano genius from the movie Shine!
 * Rocket Security Guard: [Unconvinced] Uh-huh. And your name is...
 * Homer: Uh...Shiney McShine?

 * [Homer is looking around the spaceship]
 * Homer: Ooh! There's Ross Perot...Dr. Laura...Spike Lee...
 * Bart: Wait, they're not that great.
 * Homer: Okay, there's Dan Quayle and Courtney Love...Tonya Harding...Al Sharpton?
 * [Tom Arnold walks in]
 * Homer: AAH! Tom Arnold?! What the hell's going on?!
 * Bart: Only that ship's going to Mars. This one's headed straight for the sun!
 * Tom Arnold: Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth? I mean, my shows weren't great, but I never tied people up and forced them to watch. And I could've, because I'm a big guy and I'm good with knots.

 * Homer: The sun?! That's the hottest place on Earth!

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)

 * Homer: Ooh, you don't want to get Zorro mad. [accidentally pours hot butter on Marge's thigh]
 * Marge: You're pouring hot butter on my leg!

 * (after it's been decided that the family will live on Grampa's old farm)
 * Bart: I'll dig an outhouse!
 * Lisa: I'll weed the floor!
 * Marge: I'll repress the rage I'm feeling! (plasters a fake smile on her face)

 * (Homer is offering tomacco to Ralph Wiggum and his father, Police Chief Clancy Wiggum)
 * Homer: Try some, won't you?
 * Chief Wiggum: Go ahead, Ralphie; the stranger is offering you a treat!
 * Ralph Wiggum: (Takes a bit and immediately spits it out) Oh, Daddy, this tastes like Grandma!
 * Chief Wiggum: (does the same) Holy Moses! It DOES tastes like Grandma!
 * Ralph Wiggum: I want more! (Starts devouring more tomacco)
 * Chief Wiggum: Yeah, me too; so we take a bushel or a peck, or...? Oh, just give 'em to me. (Joins his son)
 * Homer: (chuckles)

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder

 * (Homer tries to bond with Maggie by dressing up as a Teletubby)
 * Homer: (in baby talk) Look, Maggie, I'm Homie-Womie, the Teletubby. (sternly) And I'm all man in case you heard otherwise!

 * Homer: [playing peek-a-boo] Where's Maggie? Where's Maggie? [uncovers his eyes] Hey, where is she?

 * Homer: I think I know what they're doing here Lisa. They did it to Jesus, and now they're doing it to me.
 * Marge: Are you comparing yourself to our Lord?!
 * Homer: Well, in bowling ability.

 * ([Homer is concentrating hard on bowling a perfect 300 game])
 * Lenny: Miss! Miss! Sorry, I was calling the waitress. Uh, this split you sold me is making me choke!
 * Homer: Lenny!
 * Lenny: What?! I paid $7.10 for this split!
 * Carl: Will you at least call it a banana split, you dumbwad!
 * Lenny: Hey! Spare me your guttermouth--
 * (Is cut off by Homer throwing a bowling ball at his stomach.)

Eight Misbehavin'

 * (As Apu and Manjula await the results of the pregnancy test)
 * Apu: Here goes nothing.
 * Apu and Manjula: (as symbols appear on the tester) Baby... baby... lemon.
 * Manjula: All that sex for nothing.
 * Apu: Well, that is a pretty grim assessment.

 * (Apu is asleep with the babies)
 * Manjula: Apu, it's 4 am. You're late for work.
 * Apu: Oh. I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.
 * Manjula: Oh no you don't! Not til they're out of college.
 * Apu: Listen, I'll die when I want to!

 * Ned Flanders: [After Apu complains about his babies] Well, they can be a handful...of joy!
 * Apu: Shut up!
 * Flanders: They can fill your life with-
 * Apu: Shut up!
 * Flanders: Can't put a price on a miracle!
 * Apu: I can't believe you won't shut up!

 * Larry Kidkill: Listen, how would you like to come with me?
 * Apu: Okay.
 * Manjula: Wait, you don't even know who he is!
 * Apu: Who cares? There's only one of him!

Take My Wife, Sleaze

 * Homer: The first meeting of Hell's Satan's comes to order.
 * Flanders: I move that we reconsider our club name. Make it something a little less blasphemous. After all we don't want to go to hell.
 * Lenny: How about the Devil's Pals.
 * Flanders: No, see-
 * Moe: Or the Christ Punchers!
 * Flanders: The Christ Pu... I don't think you understand my objections.

 * Meathook: (to Homer) There's only one reasonable way to settle this, you and me in the circle of death.
 * Marge: Ohh, I just swept the circle of death.

Grift of the Magi

 * Bart and Milhouse: Sisters are doing it for themselves!
 * Homer: Hey! Why is this door locked?
 * Bart: Oh no, it's Dad! [Bart falls out of the bed, landing on a bowling ball on the floor]
 * Homer: [screams] What's going on?! [shaking his fist] And I want the non-gay explanation!
 * Milhouse: Uh, we're drunk. Really drunk.
 * Homer: Oh, thank God!

 * Gary Coleman: Well, well, if it isn't the biggest rip-off since "Webster."

 * Fat Tony: I don't get mad, I get stabby.

 * Principal Skinner: This is a proud day. Now when people ask if we're in compliance the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1975, I can say, we are closer than ever before!

 * Ralph: Hello, I'm Dr.Stupid! I'm going to take out your liver bones.[decapitates the Mr.Burns dummy] Oops, you're dead!
 * Mr.Burns: I never liked that Dr.Stupid.

 * Ralph: Fun toys are fun!
 * Teacher: Well said, Ralph, but we're trying to come up with a name for a toy?
 * Janey Powell: Mrs. Fun?
 * Teacher: Not bad!
 * Ralph: Fun?
 * Teacher: Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, but if you don't pipe down, I'm giving you a F!
 * Ralph: The before teacher yelled at me too.
 * Teacher: No-one's yelling, Ralph, we're just brainstorming. Lisa, any ideas?
 * Lisa: Oh, a name with fun? Fungus, Funzo, Atilla the Fun...
 * Teacher: Lisa, are you doing math?!
 * Lisa: Just a few Venn diagrams.
 * Ralph: There's more under her chair!

 * Krusty: So have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Krazy Kwanzaa, a Tip-Top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan. And now, a word from my god, our sponsor...

 * Lindsay Naegle: I'm sorry, Gary. There's no longer a place for you here.
 * Gary Coleman: What you talkin' 'bout, Miss Naegle?
 * Lindsay Naegle: That is so adorable! You're rehired!
 * Gary Coleman: Sucker! I knew exactly what she was talkin' 'bout.

Little Big Mom

 * Homer: Okay, don't panic. Remember what the instructor said.
 * Ski Instructor: [In Homer's thoughts] If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is--
 * Flanders: (Cutting in) Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all!
 * ("Nothin' at all!" echoes several times.)
 * Homer: Aah! Stupid sexy Flanders..!

 * Homer: I got the groceries!
 * Lisa: Good! Maple soda? A cell phone full of candy?! Astronaut bread?
 * Homer: It's the bread of astronauts.
 * Bart: I didn't know Aerosmith made a cereal...

 * [Lisa sends Bart off to school and Homer off to work.]
 * Lisa: Here are your lunches. And no trading them for fireworks!
 * Homer: Aww, but Lenny just got some bottle rockets!
 * Lisa: You stay away from Lenny!

 * [the Simpsons gaze the spectacular sunset with Homer calling in the dermabrasion hut]
 * Homer: Aloha  AIIE!!!
 * Aloha  OHHE!!!
 * Until we meet a AIGH!!!

Faith Off

 * Homer: (cooking meat) Okay, who needs another lamb rack? (Marge and Bart nod no) Lisa? Ham hock, Tri-tip?
 * Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
 * Homer: Well I think the veal died of loneliness.

 * Bart: Hey Brother Faith, how did you get the bucket off my dad's head?
 * Brother Faith: Well I didn't son, you did. God has given you the power.
 * Bart: Really? Hmmm.. I would think he would want to limit my power.
 * Marge: Wow! He should have his foot insured by Lloyd's of London.
 * Homer: (Slurred speech) You just know what everyone should do, don't you, Marge?

The Mansion Family

 * ''[Mr. Burns is filling in a medical form.]
 * Mr. Burns: Let's see, social security number: naught, naught, naught ... naught, naught ... naught, naught, naught, two. Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: got in my way.

 * ''[Bart is riding his bike through the hallways of Mr. Burns' mansion; he hits and upturns a table before cycling off.]
 * Bart: I'm Al Unser Jr.!
 * ''[Lisa rides through the hallway on a horse.]
 * Lisa: (British accent) I'm Princess Margaret!
 * ''[A heavily drunken Homer rides through the hallway and crashes through the upturned table on a rideable lawnmower.]
 * Homer: (slurred) I'm DRUNK!

 * [The family is sitting at the gigantic dining room table]
 * Lisa: Mom! Bart's making faces at me!! [looks through opera glasses] ...I think.
 * Homer: LOOK HOW LOUD I HAVE TO YELL!!
 * Marge: This all seems a little elaborate for sloppy joes. [picks up an extra long fork] Hmm I know what the other 11 forks are for, but what do you do with with this one?
 * Homer: [in a posh accent] Why Marge, I believe you're supposed to scratch your ass with it.
 * Marge: Homer watch your lang- [scratches herself] Ooh! That's a life saver!

 * Homer: Listen, I worked long and hard for this place, and no one's gonna take it away from me! Not you, not its rightful owner, not anyone! (downs entire goblet of brandy) And another thing: if I eve- (passes out)

 * Marge: All I'm saying is, don't get too comfortable. Mr. Burns will be back tomorrow.
 * Homer: Marge, you're right. We do have to have a party!
 * Marge: Party?! No! No parties!
 * Homer: What about "par-tays"?
 * Marge: No "part-tays", no shindigs, no keggers, no hootenannies, no mixers, no raves, no box socials!
 * Homer: Damn! [looks at a box social invitation, featuring an image of him on an old-fashioned bicycle] And I looked so good on that bike...

 * Carl: Homer, have we hit international waters yet? Because, uh, things are getting real ugly...
 * [We see Moe using a bullwhip to keep the others away from kegs of beer]
 * Moe: I can't sell you beer till we cross the line!!!
 * Barney: Legally you could give us free beer. [Moe thinks for a moment, then whips him] Ow!
 * Lenny: Well, could you at least give us rubbing alcohol for our wounds? [Moe tosses him a bottle; Lenny snickers] Sucker! [starts to drink from it, only to have Moe whip it out of his hands] Ow!

 * Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
 * Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
 * Doctor: Yes.
 * Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
 * Doctor: Yes.
 * Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?!
 * Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have thousands of diseases that have just been discovered, in you.
 * Mr. Burns: You're sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?

 * Homer: Look at those poor saps back on land with their "laws" and "ethics". They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.
 * [Sure enough, two monkeys are fighting with knives while a cheering crowd watches]
 * Moe: Thrust! Parry! Stab, stab, stab! [one of the monkeys screams] Ha-ha! He ain't pretty no more!

 * [The pirates prepare to dump all of the party-goers overboard]
 * Moe: Aw, I'm gonna die, and I've never even tasted cantaloupe!
 * Krusty: Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.

 * [The net full of party-goers is thrown overboard, but it partially floats]
 * Lenny: Hey, whaddya know, it floats!
 * Homer: That was my plan all along! Now relax, and the currents will take us home.
 * Bart: What about the people on the bottom?
 * Homer: They're the greatest heroes of all... Hey, something's clawing at my leg!... Okay, it stopped.

 * Lisa: Ah, it's good to be home.
 * Homer: I don't know. After living like a billionaire, this place is kind of a dump.
 * Bart: It's not so bad. Here, we can spit on the floor. [spits it out]
 * Marge: Bart, stop that. Now, we may not have antique furniture, or priceless artwork, but we have everything we need, right here.
 * Homer: That's right. Just because we're not rich doesn't mean that we don't have... [crying] Oh, I can't even finish! I wanna be rich! [drops to the floor, as the scene fades to black. The names of the executive producers appear] Like these guys! [The credits for the actors start to roll] And look at all these rich people here! Not as rich they should be, of course, but still rich! [sobbing] Big money! Look at all the names, that all have money, and have lots of money! [Richard K. Chung's name is on screen] Oh, he's poor. [sobbing again] But look at all the other people who aren't...! Oh, look at all the people who could buy and sell me! I should send a list of these names to the IRS! I'm taking 'em all down! [Continues crying as the credits keep rolling] Oh, look at all the rich people! Oh! Oh, look at that rich...! [The Gracie Films logo goes "Shh!"] Don't shush me, you rich bastard!

Saddlesore Galactica

 * Marge: Hmmm. Should the Simpsons get a horse?
 * Comic Book Guy: Excuse me, I believe this family already had a horse, and the expense forced Homer to work at the Kwik-E-Mart, with hilarious consequences.
 * Homer: Anybody care what this guy thinks?
 * Crowd: No!

 * Nelson: Man, that horse don't take no guff from nobody.
 * Jimbo/Kearney: Guff?!
 * Nelson: I mean shi-- [both punch Nelson]

 * Homer: Did that really happen, or was it just a wonderful dream?
 * Jockey: [suddenly appears] No dream! Lose the race, fat boy! [Homer sobs]

 * Homer: Son, don't ask why, but you have to lose the big race.
 * Bart: You want me to lose the Springfield Derby? But you always taught me that winning was everything.
 * Homer: Oh, it is, it is. But we've been pushing that poor horse too hard.
 * Bart: Maybe, but if Duncan wins the derby, he can spend the rest of his days as a stud.
 * Homer: Well, it is a good life. Believe me. [giggles] All right, we'll give it a shot. I'll deal with those murderous trolls.
 * Bart: Huh?
 * Homer: I mean, I'll deal with those murderous trolls.

Alone Again, Natura-Diddily

 * Homer: Ooh, a bobby pin. [ducks down, letting Maude get hit by T-shirts and fall to her death]
 * Ned Flanders: (gasps) Maude?
 * Dr. Hibbert: Oh, my lord! She's dead!
 * Ned Flanders: (gasps)

 * Marge: It's hard to believe that we'll never see Maude again.

 * Ned: I can't believe my last words to Maude were, "No foot-longs."

 * Homer: Now, now, now, don't beat yourself up. I'm the one who drove her out of her seat. I'm the one who provoked the lethal barrage of T-shirts. I'm the one who parked in the ambulance zone, preventing any possible resuscitation. [notices Ned glaring at him] Yeah, I, uh... but there's no point in playing the blame game.

 * Homer: I'm sure your wife is dating a lot of people in heaven!
 * Ned: Are you sure?
 * Homer: Positive! There's a lot of hot people up there. There's John Wayne, Tupac Shakur, Sherlock Holmes--
 * Ned: Ah, now Sherlock Holmes is a character.
 * Homer: Oh, he sure was! [does a sexy growl]

 * Ned: Is this a dating video?

 * [While Homer is filming Lenny, Carl, and Moe in front of Moe's Tavern for Ned's bachelor tape]
 * Homer: So if you're tired of dating the same old losers!
 * Carl: ...What are you doing, Homer?

 * Kirk: [while during Maude's funeral] Yeah, and lots of storybooks have witches.

Missionary: Impossible

 * TV: You're watching PBS.
 * Bart: You're watching PBS?!
 * Homer: Hey, I'm as surprised as you. But I've stumbled across a delicious new comedy about soccer hooligans. If they're not having a go with a bird, they're having a row with a wanker.
 * Bart: Cheeky!

 * Mr. Rogers: It's a beautiful day to kick your ass!

 * Oscar The Grouch: Give us the money!
 * Elmo: Elmo knows where you live!

 * [Homer has just arrived on the island and he doesn't know what to do]'
 * Homer: You're leaving! Wait! What do I do here!
 * Amy: First of all, forget everything you learned in Missionary school.
 * Homer: Done.
 * Craig: We taught them some English and we ridiculed away most of their beliefs. You can take it from there.

 * Qtoktok: So, are you enjoying your ox testicle?
 * Homer: Yeah.
 * Qtoktok: Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a coconut? They're delicious.
 * Homer: Nah, I'm good.
 * [Shortly after there is a small earthquake]
 * Homer: Ahh! What was that?!
 * Qtoktok: We call that-- (starts making gagging and choking noises) sorry, fish bone in my throat. We call that, "earthquake".
 * Homer: Oh great, now my testicle's got ants on it!

Pygmoelian

 * Moe: (after looking at his face in the year's calendar) Am I really that ugly?
 * Carl: Moe, it's all relative. Just like, is Lenny that dumb? (Lenny gasps) Is Barney that drunk? (Barney gasps) Is Homer that lazy, bald, and fat? (Homer gasps)
 * Moe: Oh, God, this is worse than I thought! (He, Lenny, Barney, and Homer break down sobbing.)
 * Carl: (to the audience) See, this is why I don't talk much.

 * Moe: I've been called "Ugly," "Pug Ugly," "Fugly," "Pug Fugly." But never "Ugly-Ugly!"
 * Homer: Well, it's time to get some closure. Extreme closure.

 * Gay Republican #1: What we need is a symbol that says, "We're gay and Republican!''
 * ''(Maggie's pink elephant-shaped balloon floats into the room.)
 * Gay Republican #2: A little on-the-nose, don't you think?

 * Lisa: [reading from a sticker] A gay president for 2084?
 * Gay Republican: We're realistic.

 * Moe: Okay, last stop, Channel 6.
 * Homer: You're gonna get even with that lottery guy that never picks our numbers?
 * Moe: Nah, nah, nah, this is personal. (Flashback.) It all goes back to my acting days. I was auditioning for the role of Dr. Tad Winslow in the hit soap, "It Never Ends". (Reads a script.) 'Angela, I'm afraid I...'
 * Producer: Thank you, next! What were you thinking?
 * Casting Director: Well, you said you wanted gritty, in other words, ugly.
 * Producer: I wanted Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island-ugly, not Cornelius on the Planet of the Apes-ugly. TV-ugly not ugly-ugly.

 * Moe: Yeah, hey, I've got a gift. As a child, I was bitten by the acting bug. Then it burrowed under my skin and laid eggs in my heart. Now those eggs are hatching and I... the feeling is indescribable.
 * Homer: I know what you mean. Our dog had that.

 * (during the Toss The Drunk contest at Duff Days)
 * Titania: Ew! (to Duffman) You said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!
 * Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things. Oh, yeah!

 * Duffman: [with a sticker covering his face] Duffman can't breathe. Oh no!

 * Producer: You idiot -- Dr. Winslow was only going to die in a dream.
 * Moe: Whaa?
 * Producer: [holds up script to a pink page] Pink pages always mean a dream.
 * Moe: I thought dreams was on goldenrod.
 * Producer: No, goldenrod is for coma fantasies.

Bart to the Future

 * Homer Simpson: Oh, what a bleak and horrible future we live in!
 * Bart Simpson: Don't you mean "present?"
 * Homer Simpson: Right, right. Present.

 * ''[The Simpsons have a family meal at the White House, now that Lisa is President.]
 * Marge Simpson: So, how was everyone's day?
 * Lisa Simpson: Appointed a Supreme Court justice.
 * Bart Simpson: Bewitched marathon.
 * Homer Simpson: Searched for Lincoln's gold.
 * Lisa Simpson: Dad, that's just a myth. Lincoln didn't bury any gold in the White House.
 * Homer Simpson: Then what is his ghost protecting?

Days of Wine and D'oh'ses

 * (as Homer and Bart are "celebrating" Trash Night)
 * Homer: I can't believe I found this muscle shirt.
 * Bart: Dad, that's a sports bra.
 * Homer: All I know is that I'm finally getting the support I need.

 * Marge: [As she walks into the kitchen] I don't remember the air in the kitchen being so wavey. [She sniffs the air.] Good lord, that's gas! [Marge finds a taped hosepipe leading into the garden]
 * Homer: Behold! I am king Tocki Ticki![The Hawaiian statue breathed fire as Bart and Lisa scream] Hey Flanders! Can your god do that?
 * Ned: Actually Homer, you and I worship the same god, so-
 * Homer: Irregardless! I am your god now! [Flanders walks away as Homer burns his hedge] Ha, ha, ha!
 * Marge: Homie, you can't just reroute the gas line. Do you know how dangerous that is?
 * Homer: [shaking the statue] Do not anger Tocki Ticki![dropping the statue which catches on fire] I am all power- Aargh! [Worried] I'll be at Moe's! [climbs over the fence]

 * Kent: Unfortunately, fire trucks are unavailable to fight the blaze as they're all being used to film the new Burt Reynolds movie, "Fireball and Mudflap." I caught up with Burt on the set.
 * Kent: So, Burt, tell us a little about "Fireball and Mudflap."
 * Reynolds: I play Jerry "Fireball" Mudflap, a feisty Supreme Court justice searching for his birth mother while competing in a cross-country fire truck race. It's... garbage.

 * Homer: Barney!
 * [Homer picks up the payphone]
 * Homer: The call is from heroism. Will you accept the charges?

 * Bart: You did it, Dad!
 * Homer: [drunk] You can't prove I did it.
 * Lisa: No, you saved our lives.
 * Homer: I could do a lot of things if I had some money.

Kill the Alligator and Run

 * Doctor: What you need is a good, long rest. I suggest Florida.
 * Homer: Florida? But that's America's wang!
 * Doctor: They prefer, "The Sunshine State."

 * [The Simpsons are driving to Florida]
 * Lisa: Mom! Bart's sitting next to me!
 * Bart: Mom! Lisa's growing!
 * Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father just had a breakdown.
 * Homer: [Holding a pennant that says "Mental"] My pockets hurt!

 * (Bart gets paid three dollars for delivering Homer's mail)
 * Bart: Hey, this isn't real. This is printed by the Montana Militia.
 * Homer: (threateningly) It'll be real soon enough!

 * Marge: [to Homer for his actions] This family has hit a new low. We're on the run from the law, totally lost... no car, no money, no clean clothes... and it's all your fault!
 * Homer: I Love being Married.

 * Homer: Arizona smells funny.

 * (The Simpsons are put on trial for evading the police and murdering Captain Jack the alligator)
 * Homer: Your Honor, I'd like to defend myself. (clears throat and turns to the left): Drunken hicks of the jury...
 * (cut to a jury box filled with offended rednecks gasping. One drinks from a bottle of beer)

Last Tap Dance in Springfield

 * (while at Eye Caramba)
 * Homer: "I…8…P P?" (sees Bart writing then turns red in anger and strangles him) Why you little…!
 * Eye Doctor: Better, or worse?
 * Homer: Worse!
 * Eye Doctor: Better, or worse?
 * Homer: [still in different voice] Much better!

 * (Marge and Lisa leave the theater after the end of Tango De La Muerte)
 * Lisa: Oh, Mom, I want to be a dancer!
 * Marge: That's wonderful, dear. We should ask your father, though. [looks around] Where is he, anyway?
 * [cut to Homer, whose eyes have crusted over from not taking his eye drops after laser surgery, in the car with the three bullies, Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney. Kearney is driving while Dolph and Jimbo are in the back seat]
 * Kearney: [doing a strained, poor impersonation of Marge] Now, Homie, when we get to the liquor store, buy me some Jack Daniel's and a carton of smokes.
 * Homer: Yes, dear.
 * [Dolph and Jimbo snicker from the back seat and exchange a high-five]

 * Ralph: Teacher, my shoes are making noise!
 * Vicki: You must be Ralph.
 * Ralph: My daddy shoots people!

 * Homer: For an evening or a week, there's no place like the mall. Food, fun and fashion, the mall has it all.

 * Police Chief Wiggum: [Upon having set up a human sized mouse trap, wherein an anvil is attached with a rope to it.] We’ll catch that mall rat.
 * Lou: Sure hope this Acme kit works.
 * Police Chief Wiggum: Gosh, that cheese looks good. Think I could grab it before that anvil hits?.
 * Lou: I don't know, Chief. It's a million to one.
 * Police Chief Wiggum: I like those odds! [ Grunts ] - [ Snickering ] - [ Wiggum Groaning] My mistake was grabbing the cheese.

 * Vicki Valentine: I'm sorry but treating people like equals when they most clearly aren't is called what kids?
 * Children: Communism.

 * Vicki Valentine: Self-tapping shoes? I'm ever so pissed!

 * Marge: [despite that Lisa is not in stage anymore] Where is Lisa?
 * Homer: [anxiously] This plot is hard enough to follow as it is.

It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge

 * Squeaky-Voiced Teen: And God said, "Gather two of every flavor, anoint them with sixty-two sauces, whipped cream, and nuts, and ye shall call it, 'The Ark'!

 * Bart: [as he eats dinner] This tastes better than God's sweat!

 * Ice Cream Store Clerk: [after Marge throws sprinkles at his eyes] I can only see a horrible rainbow!

Behind the Laughter

 * Lisa: To prolong the run of the series, I was secretly given anti-growth hormones.
 * [Camera cuts to Homer]
 * Homer: That's ridiculous! How could I even get all five necessary drops into her cereal? [pause] What?

 * Homer Simpson: Why did I take such punishment? Let's just say that fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug was the drugs.

 * Marge: [After scenes are shown from the first pilot] Okay, the material was a little corny, but Homer and I showed great chemistry on set.
 * [Camera cuts to Homer]
 * Homer: Every day, I thought about firing Marge. You know, to shake things up.

 * [Rehearsal footage from shooting a Simpsons episode]
 * Homer: Son, let's go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes!
 * Bart: Cowabunga, dude!
 * Director: And cut!
 * Bart: Dad, I've never said "cowabunga" in my life! Your script sucks!
 * Homer: [turns his face red in anger] Why you little...! [starts strangling Bart]
 * Director: Hey, that's funny!
 * [Homer and Bart pause for a moment, then continue with some fake strangling, camera cuts to Homer being interviewed for the program]
 * Homer: And that horrible act of child abuse became one of our most beloved running gags.

 * Lenny: Oh, yeah, Bart was throwing money all over the place. He even paid me and Carl $1,000 to kiss each other!
 * Carl: Hey, did we ever get that money?

 * Announcer: The dream was over. Coming up: Was the dream really over? Yes, it was. Or was it?

 * Announcer: The Simpsons started on a wing and a prayer, but now, the wing was on fire, and the prayer had been answered... by Satan.

title: The Simpsons/Season 11


text:
User:Man man

hi i'm doing some transformer stuff

title: User:Man man


text:
Giorgio Agamben

Giorgio Agamben (born 1942) is an Italian philosopher, and Professor at the Università IUAV di Venezia. He became famous for his investigations on the concepts of a "state of exception" and homo sacer. He is particularly critical of the United States' response to the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, and the use of terrorism as a permanent condition that legitimizes a "state of exception" as the dominant paradigm for governing in contemporary politics.

Quotes

 * In the eyes of authority – and maybe rightly so – nothing looks more like a terrorist than the ordinary man.
 * What is an Apparatus?: And Other Essays (2009), Stanford University Press, p. 35.

 * God didn't die, he was transformed into money.
 * As quoted in "God didn't die, he was transformed into money" - An interview with Giorgio Agamben - Peppe Savà, libcom.org.

 * Antoine Meillet also noted that imperatives in European languages are typically the morphological root of the verb, and hypothesised that the imperative was the primitive form of a verb: “walk!” precedes “to walk” or “he walks”. This opens up the possibility of an alternative ontology, or pre-ontology, based on commandment rather than assertion, on “be!” rather than “is”. While philosophical or scientific statements would fall under the ordinary “is”-based ontology, fields like law, religion or magic would operate in the imperative mode: “let there be…”
 * Giorgio Agamben, "What is a commandment?" March 28, 2011

 * Kuhn acknowledges having used the term "paradigm" in two different meanings. In the first one, "paradigm" designates what the members of a certain scientific community have in common, that is to say, the whole of techniques, patents and values shared by the members of the community. In the second sense, the paradigm is a single element of a whole, say for instance Newton’s Principia, which, acting as a common model or an example... stands for the explicit rules and thus defines a coherent tradition of investigation. Thus the question is for Kuhn to investigate by means of the paradigm what makes possible the constitution of what he calls "normal science". That is to say, the science which can decide if a certain problem will be considered scientific or not. Normal science does not mean at all a science guided by a coherent system of rules, on the contrary, the rules can be derived from the paradigms, but the paradigms can guide the investigation also in the absence of rules. This is precisely the second meaning of the term "paradigm", which Kuhn considered the most new and profound, though it is in truth the oldest.

The Coming Community (1993)

 * If human beings were or had to be this or that substance, this or that destiny, no ethical experience would be possible... This does not mean, however, that humans are not, and do not have to be, something, that they are simply consigned to nothingness and therefore can freely decide whether to be or not to be, to adopt or not to adopt this or that destiny (nihilism and decisionism coincide at this point). There is in effect something that humans are and have to be, but this is not an essence nor properly a thing: It is the simple fact of one's own existence as possibility or potentiality.
 * Ch. 11 : Ethics

 * Today, in the era of the complete triumph of the spectacle, what can be reaped from the heritage of Debord? It is clear that the spectacle is language, the very communicativity or linguistic being of humans. This means that a fuller Marxian analysis should deal with the fact that capitalism (or any other name one wants to give the process that today dominated world history) was directed not only toward the expropriation of productive activity, but also and principally toward the alienation of language itself, of the very linguistic and communicative nature of humans, of that logos which one of Heraclitus' fragments identified as the Common. The extreme form of this expropriation of the Common is the spectacle, that is, the politics we live in. But this also means that in the spectacle of our own linguistic nature comes back to us inverted. This is why (precisely because what is being expropriated is the very possibility of common good) the violence of the spectacle is so destructive; but for the same reason the spectacle remains something like a positive possibility that can be used against it.
 * Ch. 18 : Shekinah

 * Love is never directed toward this or that property of the loved one (being blond, being small, being tender, being lame), but neither does it neglect the properties in favor of an insipid generality (universal love): The lover wants the loved one with all of its predicates, its being such as it is.
 * page 2.

 * [E]ase names perfectly that "free use of the proper" that, according to an expression of Friedrich Hölderlin's, is "the most difficult task."
 * page 25.

 * Matter that does not remain beneath form, but surrounds it with a halo.

 * Whatever singularity, which wants to appropriate belonging itself, its own being-in-language, and thus rejects all identity and every condition of belonging, is the principal enemy of the State. Wherever these singularities peacefully demonstrate their being in common there will be Tiananmen, and, sooner or later, the tanks will appear.
 * page 86.

State of Exception (2005)

 * State of Exception, University of Chicago Press, 2005.

 * [M]odern totalitarianism can be defined as the establishment, by means of the state of exception, of a legal civil war that allows for the physical elimination not only of political adversaries but of entire categories of citizens who for some reason cannot be integrated into the political system.
 * Chapter One, p. 2.

 * One day humanity will play with law just as children play with disused objects, not in order to restore them to their canonical use but to free them from it for good.
 * Chapter Four, p. 64.

title: Giorgio Agamben


text:
User talk:69.235.247.102

- InvisibleSun 22:30, 12 November 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:69.235.247.102


text:
User talk:68.229.63.95

- InvisibleSun 00:42, 13 November 2006 (UTC)

title: User talk:68.229.63.95


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User talk:Lilpunkycuda2~enwikiquote

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! 121a0012 01:50, 13 November 2006 (UTC)
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title: User talk:Lilpunkycuda2~enwikiquote