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Douglas Coupland

Douglas Coupland (born December 30, 1961) is a Canadian fiction writer and cultural commentator. He is perhaps best known for the 1991 novel Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture, which popularized the terms "Generation X" and "McJob". Most of Coupland's work explores the harsher realities of life for this generation, including intense media saturation, a lack of religious values and economic instability.

Quotes

 * The Internet has made me very casual with a level of omniscience that was unthinkable a decade ago. I now wonder if God gets bored knowing the answer to everything.
 * "Transience Is Now Permanence & the Fate of the Middle Classes (Doomed)", in The Edge Annual Question — 2010: How Is the Internet Changing the Way You Think?, January 2010

Generation X (1991)

 * "I wonder that all things seem to be from hell these days: dates, jobs, parties, weather .... Could the situation be that we no long believe in that particular place? Or maybe we were all promised heaven in our lifetimes, and what we ended up with can't help but suffer in comparison."
 * "You see, when you're middle class, you have to live with the fact that history will ignore you. You have to live with the fact that history can never champion your causes and that history will never feel sorry for you. It is the price that is paid for day-to-day comfort and silence. And because of this price, all happinesses are sterile; all sadnesses go unpitied."
 * Starved for affection, terrified of abandonment, I began to wonder if sex was really just an excuse to look deeply into another human being's eyes.
 * All events became omens; I lost the ability to take anything literally.
 * … after you're dead and buried and floating around whatever place we go to, what's going to be your best memory of Earth? … What moment for you defines what it's like to be alive on this planet?
 * Fake yuppie experiences that you had to spend money on, like white water rafting or elephant rides in Thailand don't count. I want to hear some small moment from your life that proves you're really alive.
 * I don't want dainty little moments of insight …
 * We live small lives on the periphery; we are marginalized and there's a great deal in which we choose not to participate. We wanted silence and we have that silence now. We arrived here speckled in sores and zits, our colons so tied in knots that we never thought we'd have a bowel movement again. Our systems had stopped working, jammed with the odor of copy machines, Wite-Out, the smell of bond paper, and the endless stress of pointless jobs done grudgingly to little applause. We had compulsions that made us confuse shopping with creativity, to take downers and assume that merely renting a video on a Saturday night was enough. But now that we live here in the desert, things are much, much better.

Definitions

 * McJob: A low-pay, low-prestige, low-dignity, low-benefit, no-future job in the service sector. Frequently considered a satisfying career choice by people who have never held one.
 * Poverty Jet Set: A group of people given to chronic travelling at the expense of long-term job stability or a permenant residence. Tend to have doomed and extremely expensive phone call relationships with people named Serge or Ilyana. Tend to discuss frequent flyer programs at parties.
 * Historical Underdosing: To living a period of time when nothing seems to happen. Major symptoms include addiction to newspapers, magazines, and TV news broadcasts.
 * Historical Overdosing: to live in a period of time when too much seems to happen. Major symptoms include addiction to newspapers, magazines, and TV news broadcasts.
 * Historical Slumming: The act of visiting locations such as diners, smokestack industrial sites, rural village—locations where time appears to have been frozen many years back—so as to experience relief when one returns back to “the present.”
 * Brazilification: The widening gulf between the rich and the poor and the accompanying disappearance of the middle classes.
 * Vaccinated Time Travel: To fantasize about traveling backward in time, but only with proper vaccinations.
 * Decade Blending: In clothing: the indiscriminate combination of two or more items from various decades to create a personal mood: Sheila = Mary Quant earrings (1960s) + cork wedgie platform shoes (1970s) + black leather jacket (1950s and 1980s).
 * Veal-Fattening Pen: Small, cramped office workstations built of fabric-covered disassemblable wall partitions and inhabited by junior staff members. Named after the small preslaughter cubicles used by the cattle industry.
 * Emotional Ketchup Burst: The bottling up of opinions and emotions inside onself so that they explosively burst forth all at once, shocking and confusing employers and friends—most of whom thought things were fine.
 * Bleeding Ponytail: An elderly sold out baby boomer who pines for hippie or pre-sellout days.
 * Boomer Envy: Envy of material wealth and long-range material security accrued by older members of the baby boom generation by virtue of fortunate births.
 * Clique Maintenance: The need of one generation to see the generation following it as deficient so as to bolster its own collective ego: Kids today do nothing. They’re so apathetic. We used to go out and protest. All they do is shop and complain.
 * Consensus Terrorism: The process that decides in-office attitudes and behavior.

Shampoo Planet (1992)

 * "Grandpa, like most of the fun-loving gang who built the Plants, just wanted to die or have his brain turn to oatmeal before it becomes too apparent exactly what a nightmare he and his buddies have saddled their descendants with."
 * Meeting Anna-Louise was like finding a stranger's shopping list on the mall floor and realising there are other, more interesting diets than your own. It was the first time I ever felt incomplete.
 * "'Is the hotel Marge? It has to be Marge. I want atmosphere.' Marge is Anna-Louise's word describing sad, 1950s-ish diner-type places where the waitresses are named Marge."
 * Preemptive boringness. Being one-dimensional is the most satisfying method of coping with out-of-control people - with any situation that's out of control … Don't let people know the ideas you love, the games you've played, the places you've visited in your mind. Keep your treasure to yourself.
 * I think about how I think I know a person then 'poof!' I discover I only knew a cartoon version. Suddenly there's this fleshy, demanding, noisy creature in front of me, unknowable and just as lost as I am, and equally unable to remember that every soul in the world is hurting, not just themselves.
 * "We call Jasmine's room 'The Harem,' a sexy place, about which Dan never complained, even though his own possessions, his laptop PC and briefcase, for example, looked crazy in the environment, invasive and overcomplex, like Stealth bombers in SmurfWorld."
 * When you grow older a dreadful, horrible sensation will come over you. It's called loneliness, and you think you know what it is now, but you don't. Here is a list of the symptoms, and don't worry - loneliness is the most universal sensation on the planet. Just remember one fact - loneliness will pass. You will survive and you will be a better human for it.
 * I have this feeling watching Jasmine - that as you grow older, it becomes harder to feel 100 percent happy; you learn all the things that can go wrong; you become superstitious about tempting fate, about bringing disaster upon your life by accidentally feeling too good one day.
 * I'm beginning to feel like a microwaved egg that will explode if anybody so much as breathes onto the surface.
 * I tell you what: I give you all of my strength - I seal it inside a little green envelope and mail it to you with hope and peace and much much love. Take all you need and take it quickly.
 * Your inability to achieve solitude makes you settle for substandard relationships.
 * You don't believe magic is possible in lives lived within traditional boundaries.
 * You are paralyzed by the fact that cruelty is often amusing.
 * You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you worry you are an interchangeable cog.
 * You still don't know what you do well.
 * You wilfully ignore the small, gentle observations in life which you know are the most important.
 * Your refusal to acknowledge the dark side of humanity makes you prey to that dark side.
 * You worry that if you lower your guard, even for one second, your whole world will disintegrate into chaos.
 * You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about yourself.

Life After God (1994)

 * I mean five thousand years ago people emerge out of nowhere -- sproing!—with brains and everything and begin wrecking the planet. You'd think we'd give the issue a little more thought than we do.
 * Your own nature will triumph. We are all born with our natures... And I think back over my life and I realize that my own nature -the core me- essentially hasn't changed over all these years. When I wake up in the morning, for those first few moments before I remember where I am or when I am, I still feel the same way I did when I woke up at the age of five.
 * Time ticks by; we grow older. Before we know it, too much time has passed and we've missed the chance to have had people hurt us. To a younger me this sounded like luck; to an older me this sounded like a quiet tragedy.
 * Technology does not always equal progress.
 * I thought that intimacy with another soul was the closest I could ever come to leaving my body.
 * When you're young you always feel that life hasn't yet begun...But then suddenly you're old and the scheduled life didn't arrive.
 * I realized a capacity for not feeling lonely carried a very real price, which was the threat of feeling nothing at all.
 * Is feeling nothing the inevitable result of believing in nothing? ...I thought it would be such a sick joke to have to remain alive for decades and not believe in or feel anything.
 * ...I realized that once people are broken in certain ways they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one.
 * Compromise is said to be the way of the world and yet I find myself feeling sick trying to accept what it has done to me.

Microserfs (1995)

 * I'm trying to feel more well adjusted than I really am, which is, I guess, the human condition.
 * What is the one thing more than any other thing that makes one person different from any other person?
 * ...when you're in love, all of your doors are open, and all of their doors are open. And you roller-skate down your halls together.
 * The two of you start talking about your feelings and your feelings float outside of you like vapors, and they mix together like a fog. Before you realize it, the two of you have become the same mist and you realize you can never return to being just a lone cloud again, because the isolation would be intolerable.
 * I told Ethan that I speak in an unrestricted manner to animals—things like, aren't you just the cutest little kitty... that kind of thing, which I wouldn't dream of doing to humans. Then I realized I wish I could.
 * I used to always think I had to have a reason to record my observations of the day, or even my emotions, but now I think simply being alive is more than enough reason.
 * Language is such a technology.
 * We are at the vanguard of adolescent protraction.

Girlfriend in a Coma (1998)

 * Destiny is what we work toward. The future doesn't exist yet. Fate is for losers.
 * At what point in our lives do we stop blurring? When do we become crisp individuals? What must we do in order to end these fuzzy identities - to clarify just who it is we really are?
 * We had all awakened X number of years past our youth feeling sleazy and harsh. Choices still existed, but they were no longer infinite. Fun had become a scrim, concealing the hysteria that lay behind it.
 * At twenty you know you're not going to be a rock star... by twenty-five you know you're not going to be a dentist or a professional... by thirty, a darkness starts moving in - you wonder if you're ever going to be fulfilled, let alone wealthy or successful... by thirty-five, you know, basically, what you're going to be doing the rest of your life; you become resigned to your fate.
 * Nobody believes the identities we've made for ourselves. I feel like everybody in the world is fake now - as though people had true cores once, but hucked them away and replaced them with something more attractive but also hollow.
 * There's nothing at the center of what we do.
 * Her friends have become who they've become by default. Their dreams are forgotten, or were never formulated to begin with.
 * There's a hardness I'm seeing in modern people. Those little moments of goofiness that used to make the day pass seem to have gone. Life's so serious now.
 * What's the point of being efficient if you're only leading an efficiently blank life?
 * We barely have enough time to figure out who we are and then we become bitter and isolated as we age.
 * Scrape. Feel. Dig. Believe. Ask.
 * Ask whatever challenges dead and thoughtless beliefs.
 * If you're not spending every waking moment of your life radically rethinking the nature of the world - if you're not plotting every moment boiling the carcass of the old order - then you're wasting your day.
 * A thousand years ago this wouldn’t have been the case. If human beings had suddenly vanished a thousand years ago, the planet would have healed overnight with no damage. Maybe a few lumps where the pyramids stand. One hundred years ago—or even fifty years ago—the world would have healed itself just fine in the absence of people. But not now. We crossed the line. The only thing that can keep the planet turning smoothly now is human free will forged into effort. Nothing else. That’s why the world has seemed so large in the past few years, and time so screwy. It’s because Earth is now totally ours.
 * Part 3, Ch. 34 Stop Breathing

Hey Nostradamus! (2003)

 * If you want to get close to somebody, you have to tell him or her something intimate about yourself. They'll tell you something intimate in return, and if you keep this going, maybe you'll end up in love.
 * People like that woman make it clear just how asinine it is to believe that human beings have some kind of in-built universal sense of goodness. These days I think that everybody's just one spit away from being a mall bomber.
 * Lists only spell out the things that can be taken away from us by moths and rust and thieves. If something is valuable, don't put it in a list. Don't even say the words.
 * I was Cheryl Anway- that has to count for something.
 * What surprises me about humanity is that in the end such a narrow range of plights defines our moral lives.
 * I hear that God has a really bad haircut.
 * The heart of a man is like deep water.

JPod (2006)

 * People who advocate simplicity have money in the bank; the money came first, not the simplicity. (from inside the cover)
 * The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I’m kidding. But killing helps.
 * Don’t you get an empty feeling in your soul when you have a blank to-do list?
 * TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
 * Nobody has ever been happy in a job they obtained by first handing in a resumé.
 * If you’re an incredibly famous rich person who does more in one day than I do in a month, does your perception of time’s passing go slower or faster than it does for me?
 * “I have this theory about smart people. If you’re smart, you’re either the only person in your family who’s smart, or everybody in the family is smart. No in-between.” I considered this. “I think I come from the everybody’s smart category. But they don’t apply their smarts to… larger picture pursuits. That includes me.”
 * “To be merely good enough is to never succeed.”
 * "Ethan, there has to be more to my life than this." "Why can't you just be happy as a shallow cartoon glyph of a human like everybody else here?"
 * "I have an idea. … If Ethan and Mark are so similar, we might as well arbitrarily assign them distinct personality traits. I know—Mark, from here on, you're to be called 'Evil Mark.'"
 * "Just go and feed yourselves on a wide array of products containing high-fructose corn sugar. Zheesh." "That wasn't funny, Evil Mark. It sounded fake and hollow. You're terrible at being ironic, and you've been rehearsing that line, haven't you?"
 * “You feel chilled because you have no character. You’re a depressing assemblage of pop culture influences and cancelled emotions, driven by the sputtering engine of only the most banal form of capitalism. You spend your life feeling as if you’re perpetually on the brink of being obsolete — whether it’s labour market obsolescence or cultural unhipness. And it’s all catching up with you. You live and die by the development cycle. You’re glamorized drosophila flies, with the company regulating your life cycles at whim. If it isn’t a budget-driven eighteen-month game production schedule, it’s a five-year hardware obsolescence schedule. Every five years you have to throw away everything you know and learn a whole new set of hardware and software specs, relegating what was once critical to our lives to the cosmic slag heap.”
 * As he ages and sees more of the world, he’s realizing that bad news is a part of life, and that when you have to give it, just say it and get it over with.
 * Comics day came and went. Another shoes day came and went. And another comics day followed that — the typical production and consumption cycles that help us survice our dismal, meaningless little lives.
 * Ethan is annoyed with all of these dumb campaigns that indoctrinate millions of people into thinking they’re tough-guy free spirits when, in fact, there’s probably much to be said for following and, in any event, the food chain isn’t structured to encompass millions of non-followers.
 * If you can control your emotions, chances are you don’t have too many.
 * Only damaged people want good things to happen to them through visualization. They want something for nothing.
 * Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?
 * Chances are you feel superior to almost everyone you work with — however, they probably feel the same way about you.
 * It can be really fun to go down with the ship.
 * Here’s my theory about meetings and life: the three things you can’t fake are erections, competence and creativity. That’s why meetings become toxic — they put uncreative people in a situation in which they have to be something they can never be. And the more effort they put into concealing their inabilities, the more toxic the meeting becomes.
 * “You have to admit, half the people who work here are mildly autistic; poor social skills, the ability to obsess on anything numerical or repetitive, the odd outfits, the paranoia and the sense of continually being judged and measured.”
 * “Why are we drinking Zima? It’s beyond irony. It’s not funny or anything. It’s just gross. Why not just serve us jugs of Hitler’s piss instead?” “Drinking Zima is something Douglas Coupland would make a character do.” “To what end?” “It’d be a device that would allow him to locate the characters in time and a specific sort of culture.”
 * Older staffers don’t even bother coming in on weekends. Where is the sleep-crazed, Pepsi-fuelled one-point-oh tech environment that can only be created by having no green vegetables, no sex and no life? Cowboy said, “I miss the greed of the 1990s bubble.” John Doe said, “I miss the possibility of unearned wealth.” Bree said, “I miss the possibility of doing something Apple, something one-point-oh.” Evil Mark said, “I miss people having Hot Wheels tracks set up in their cubicles.” Gord-O walked into the pod. “You can’t miss the nineties, because you weren’t there. They were great. Too bad you screwed-up twits missed out on the party.”
 * “A girl can’t control who will and who won’t fall in love with her, Ethan. And sometimes, when a nuisance person falls in love with you, it can be awfully… awkward.”
 * “I wish my parents took good care of their grow-op.”
 * “I was in a testy mood. I’d been inside my head all day — some days that just happens. You get lost doing just one task, and suddenly you look up and it’s dark out, but you still don’t want to leave your headspace, and the she comes up behind you with a 150 KHz marine emergency blow horn and lets off one big parp that has you shitting out your eyes, ears, and nostrils, and when you turn around, you discover that your evil co-workers were videoing the entire prank, and you get furious and you scream for everybody to fuck off and die. “Aw shucks, it was only a joke,” but the fact remains that because of that one loud parp you’ll never be able to parse C++ code again because you fried those dendrites that dictate logic patterns, and in a flash you see yourself as a future object of pity, forced to work at a TacoTime outlet, feeding disrespectful larvae of the middle classes while taking soiled orange PVC trash bags out to the back alley, where you see a grease storage drum, and wistfully remember that earlier, more charmed portion of your life when you once knew the chemicals and procedures necessary to convert restaurant grease into clean-burning planet-friendly ethanol, and that was just one of the many feats your brain was capable of, back before the parping, back before people whispered when they saw you walking their way, hoping they wouldn’t have to make small talk with you, back before they dumbed themselves down to the verbal level of Pebbles Flintstone to make you understand them.
 * The problem is, after a week of intense googling, we’ve started to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. God must feel that way all the time. I think people in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless.
 * You know what? When you read a book, you’re totally lost in your own private world, and society says that’s a good and wonderful thing. But if you play a game by yourself, it’s this weird, fucked-up, socially damaging activity. In my neighbourhood, all the teenage boys are dying because they’re driving their cars using videogame physics instead of real-world physics. They turn too quickly and change lanes too quickly. They don’t understand traction or centripetal force. And they’re dropping like flies. Please stop putting quotes from Nietzsche at the end of your emails. Five years ago you were laughing your guts out over American Pie 2. What — suddenly you’ve magically turned into Noam Chomsky? Don’t discuss Sony like it’s a great big benevolent cartoon character who lives next door to Astro Boy. Like any company, Sony is comprised of individuals who are fearful for their jobs on a daily basis, and who make lame decisions based pretty much on fear and conforming to social norms — but then, that’s every corporation on earth, so don’t single out one specific corporation as lovable and cute. They’re all evil and greedy. They’re all sort of in the moral middle ground, where good and bad cancel each other out, so there’s nothing really there — which, in it’s own way, far darker than any paranoid or patriarchal theory of Sony. Here’s a much simpler example of geeks and neural processing malfunctions: Has anybody experienced a geek environment in which said geeks wear perfume or deodorant? Chances are no. While advanced microautistics are more commonly men than women, both share a marked dislike of scent.
 * It turns out that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony — which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. I can’t imagine anything worse than that. Okay, maybe I can, but imagine reading the morning newspaper and believing it all to be true on some level.
 * "You're never too old to dance, Dad...and you're never too old to dream." "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. Were you saying that with irony or for real?"
 * “What do lesbians have against capitalized letters?” “Capitalization implies a hierarchy, that some letters are more special than others.”
 * Hip flasks are the juice machines of the alcohol world — everyone has one and it never gets used.
 * "Let's go out and buy a statistically average meal from a large multinational restaurant chain. That usually fixes about seventy-five percent of life's problems."
 * I was wondering what electrons are actually doing when they sit in your hard drive in an old laptop at the back of your closet. I mean, how does an electron sit still — is it like a cartoon M&M learning back in a folding beach chair? Is it like an angry little steel ball bearing hovering there, just waiting to go nuts on protons? What’s the mechanism that starts and stops the electron? Who’s its dungeon master?
 * Life is dull, but it could be worse and it could be better. We accept that a corporation determines our life’s routines. It’s the trade-off so that we don’t have to be chronically unemployed creative types, and we know it. When we were younger, we’d at least make a show of not being fooled and leave copies of Adbusters on our desktops. After a few years it just doesn’t matter. You trawl for jokes or amusingly diversionary .wav files. You download music. A new project comes along, then endures a slow-motion smothering at the hands of meetings. All ideas feel stillborn. The air smells like five hundred sheets of paper. And then it’s another day.
 * "Hang on a second—you already have my old laptop. Why do you want my new drives so badly?" "Because my contract says I have to write a book, and it's much easier just to steal your life than to make something up."
 * Yesirree, life sure is good. Yesirree, nothing could possibly go wrong with everything being so good. But of course, in books, good is boring. Good is a snoozer. Good makes people close the covers and never reopen them. But you know—you'd think that just once when life finally started going my way, that cosmic writer out there would allow me and all of my co-characters to simply enjoy things for just a little while. I mean, what kind of a prick would end a book just when everything's going so well?

Generation A (2009)

 * Now you young twerps want a new name for your generation? Probably not, you just want jobs, right? Well, the media might do us all such tremendous favours when they call you Generation X, right? Two clicks from the very end of the alphabet. I hereby declare you Generation A, as much as the beginning of a series of astonishing triumphs and failures as Adam and Eve were so long ago. -- Kurt Vonnegut, Syracuse University commencement address, May 8, 1994 [Source of the book's title]
 * Fame without the money to insulate you from it is one of the most wretched human conditions possible. (p. 80)
 * SOLON CR is indicated for the short-term treatment of psychological unease grounded in obsession with thinking about the near and distant future. By severing the link between the present moment and a patient’s perceived future state, researchers have found a pronounced and significant drop in all forms of anxiety. As well, researchers have found that disengagement with “the future” has allowed many patients complaining of persistent loneliness to live active and productive single lives with no fear or anxiety. (p. 95)
 * The hardest things in the world are being unique and having your life be a story. In the old days, it was much easier, but our modern fame-driven culture, with its real-time 24-7 marinade of electronic information, demands a lot from modern citizens, and poses great obstacles to narrative.
 * Truly modern citizens are both charismatic and can only respond to other people with charisma. To survive, people need to become self-branding charisma robots. Yet, ironically, society mocks and punishes people who aspire to that state.
 * There was a fifteen-second patch of silence, then Craig said, 'Isn't it weird that Hotmail accounts still exist?' 'It really is,' said Bev. (p. 222)
 * Finally, my life was a story. My days would no longer feel like a video game that resets to zero every time I wake up, and then begs for coins. (p. 143)
 * Being alive is just a brief technicality. (p. 167)
 * Why do most of us make such boring choices for the stories of our lives? How hard can it be to change gears and say, "You know what? Instead of inventing and telling stories, I’m going to make my life a more interesting story." (p. 177)

Player One (2010)

 * Full title: Player One: What is to Become of Us: a Novel in Five Hours. The 2010 CBC Massey Lectures

 * Doug's Law: "You can have information or you can have a life, but you can't have both."
 * We have to count. I want to be part of history. I want a Wikipedia page. I want Google hits. I don’t want to be just a living organism that comes and goes and leaves no trace on this planet.
 * Unlike Rachel, Player One has a complete overview both of the world and of time. Player One’s life is more like a painting than it is a story. Player One can see everything with a glance and can change tenses at will. Player One has ultimate freedom, the ultimate software on the ultimate hardware. That realm is also the one place where Player One feels, for lack of a better word, normal.
 * Our curse as humans is that we are trapped in time; our curse is that we are forced to interpret life as a series of events — a story — and when we can’t figure out what our particular story is, we feel lost somehow.
 * Life need not be a story, but it does need to be an adventure.

Quotes about Coupland

 * Most know Coupland as the coiner of “Generation X,” a place-holder of a generational  handle that we GenX’ers were too apathetic/jaded  to swap out, thus proving the moniker’s point.  But the Canadian Coupland is much more than that – he’s an artist, a prolific novelist, and has been a keen observer of what is happening to us for a good three decades.
 * Matt Labash, Overstimulation Nation (February 10, 2023)
 * In his (now deeply underrated) novel Generation X, Douglas Coupland sets the action against the background of a vast desert, mile after mile of emptiness, a hard stop, the ends of the earth. So hard, to feel trapped between having everything ahead of you and nowhere to go.
 * Freddie deBoer, It's So Sad When Old People Romanticize Their Heydays, Also the 90s Were Objectively the Best Time to Be Alive (February 6, 2023)

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Douglas Coupland


text:
Talk:Kefka

Merge with Final Fantasy
I believe that this artical should not be merged. The Final Fantasy artical has a conglomerate of other quotes for all of the games. This is only for the one game. He is a single character making these quotes, it should stay as its own page. --ZeWrestler 8 Mar 2004 21:31 (UTC)

title: Talk:Kefka


text:
Jamie Zawinski

Jamie Zawinski (JWZ; born November 3, 1968) is a computer programmer known for significant contributions to the free software projects Mozilla and XEmacs, and early versions of the Netscape Navigator web browser.

Attributed

 * Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.
 * alt.religion.emacs (lost; recovered)

Quotes
Zawinski's Law of Software Envelopment (also known as Zawinski's Law) relates the pressure of popularity to the phenomenon of software bloat:

 * Every program attempts to expand until it can read mail. Those programs which cannot so expand are replaced by ones which can.
 * "Zawinski's Law of Software Envelopment"
 * Commonly attributed to jwz, but "I didn't make that up"

 * The real bug here is that the design of the system even permits this class of bug. It is unconscionable that someone designing a critical piece of security infrastructure would design the system in such a way that it does not fail safe.
 * "" (About Ubuntu Bug)

 * You can't take a dying project, sprinkle it with the magic pixie dust of "open source," and have everything magically work out.
 * "resignation and postmortem" (essay)

 * Using these toolkits is like trying to make a bookshelf out of mashed potatoes.
 * Quoted in the UNIX-HATERS Handbook, chapter 7: "The X-Windows Disaster"

 * I'd just like to take this moment to point out that C has all the expressive power of two dixie cups and a string.
 * XKeyCaps homepage

 * Linux is only free if your time has no value.
 * In an interview in June 1998; he later claimed that "Bits and pieces of this article have been quoted out of context in lots of places"

 * Today, I use Linux as my primary OS (on an x86 PC, and on a Thinkpad), and I also use Irix (on an SGI O2). Linux has improved a great deal since I wrote this, specifically with respect to its ease of installation.
 * In a comment on his site in 2000

 * Your "use case" should be, there's a 22 year old college student living in the dorms. How will this software get him laid?
 * "Groupware Bad" (essay)

 * My one purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
 * DNA Lounge blog

 * I dug in a bit but then the smell of gasoline and burning flesh drove me away.
 * DNA Lounge blog

 * If you're using Windows, go fuck yourself.
 * "Backups" essay

 * Don't do drugs, kids. Stay in school.
 * "don corleone" (essay)

 * C (it's not just a language, it's a grade)
 * alt.religion.emacs

 * I've noticed that when I get quoted in .sig files, it's never any of the actual clever things I say all the time. Usually it's something dumb.

 * Browser compatibility problems are nature's way of saying "stop trying to be so fuckin' clever".

 * Professionalism has no place in art, and hacking is art. Software Engineering might be science; but that's not what I do. I'm a hacker, not an engineer.

 * [Perl] combines all the worst aspects of C and Lisp: a billion different sublanguages in one monolithic executable. It combines the power of C with the readability of PostScript.

 * Your needs are big because the Internet is big.

 * Nothing comes for free.

 * These people also tended to pretend to care deeply about the blind and otherwise disabled. I am sympathetic to the needs of those users, but I can't help but think that those who claimed to speak for the blind were being more than a little disingenuous, just like those Hemp people who present their arguments in terms of their deep and abiding care for the textile industry, when their real motives are … something else entirely.

 * There is a lot of money to be made in the business of secrets, of course.

 * Our focus in the client group had always been to build products and features that people wanted to use. That we wanted to use. That our moms wanted to use.

 * If you want to do something that's going to change the world, build software that people want to use instead of software that managers want to buy.

 * But instead I'm stuck inside under fluorescent lights, pushing bits around inside a computer in ways that are only interesting to other nerds.

Quotes about Zawinski

 * One of the best programmers I ever hired had only a High School degree; he's produced a lot of great software, has his own news group, and made enough in stock options to buy his own nightclub.

title: Jamie Zawinski


text:
Russell Crowe

Russell Ira Crowe (born 7 April 1964) is an New Zealander actor, filmmaker, musician and singer. Although a New Zealand citizen, he has lived most of his life in Australia since 1985.

Quotes

 * Some things just come without any real understanding. I don't bother to question it or myself anymore. If you get into a situation like L.A. Confidential, where you can just totally get inside the character, that's a privileged position. Now that I'm more aware of the process I realize it's the position you always want to aim for.
 * Interview with Paula Nechak (1997)

 * People accuse me of being arrogant all the time. I'm not arrogant, I'm focused. I don't make demands. I don't tell you how it should be. I'll give you fucking options, and it's up to you to select or throw 'em away. That should be the headline: If you're insecure, don't fucking call.
 * Los Angeles Times (October 31, 1999)

 * I'd move to Los Angeles if New Zealand and Australia were swallowed up by a tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in England and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack.
 * New York Daily News (2000)

 * There's nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows.
 * On missing his Australian ranch, US Weekly, (Issue 304)

GQ Interview (2005)

 * Interview with Chris Heath in GQ (March 2005)

 * I'm fundamentally quite shy, so that thing of taking on another character is quite a liberating thing to do if you're a shy person, because within that character framework you can now go to all these other places. [pauses] And I never found another job that I was actually that good at.

 * It's really hard to explain, because it's a fucking prick of a job, you know? Particularly when you get successful with it.... People don't understand why your life suddenly changed when, hey, to them it's fucking ten bucks at the movies, it's over in a couple of hours. They dont understand the prep, they don't understand the real physical shit that you put yourself through. I mean, the last movie's an example— shoulder surgery partway through preparation. And it's a $100 million train, man, and I'm the fucking guy that drives the train. And I've got to get back on that train and make sure that this thing is completed.

 * If it's not going to be that serious, I don't want to do it. It's a personal taste. I don't like watching an actor have the same fucking hairdo from time period to time period, from character to character— I just think it's bullshit. It's a waste of money and a waste of my time as an audience member.

 * I'm the sort of bloke that will have stand-up arguments with producers, saying, "Look, mate, I know you're product-placing that fucking thing' If I can see it, I'm just not going to allow it to happen... You lose all of your integrity as soon as you cross over into that sort of crass commercialism.

 * I get a very deep sense that the generation after Generation X is a very conservative generation, and I'm not sure they understand the commitment part of what I do. I'm not sure if we'll ever be able to regain that ground.... I quite often feel like I'm the youngest of the old guys, where I've got some really old-fashioned philosophies about what's credible and what's not.... Suddenly, someone like me seems like a dinosaur from a different age, but I hope it's the opposite of that. I hope I'm at the forefront of thinking and it'll all come back to that at some point.

 * It was a 100 percent fucking home run, except the central character of William Shakespeare was not a fucking writer— he was not smelly enough, he was not unshaven enough, and obviously hadn't had enough to drink. He was some prissy pretty boy. What the fuck? That's so disrespectful.
 * On Shakespeare In Love, in which he had desired to play the role of Shakespeare.

 * I wanted to see that grizzly fucker. I wanted to see him flower. I wanted to see him blossom under the fact of love. I wanted to see where the sonnets came from. They came from the same pen of despair that wrote Timon of Athens— I wanted to see that guy. I wanted to see that guy with the sensibilities of a man that could create a body of work that would last century after century. I wanted to see that... I wanted to play that character. I loved the script. I mean, it was an incredibly well observed script about actors. That's why I thought it was so cool.
 * On Shakespeare In Love

 * I suppose I'm still too young to say everything I want to say, though nobody'd ever give me credit for holding anything back. But I do … I just have no desire or need to slag Joe Fiennes. But I would look at that particular thing differently. I see the opportunity differently.

 * Until I was 25, 1 had one tooth missing. When George Ogilvie cast me, he asked me about it, and I told him the story and that I thought it was very false of me to go and get a tooth cap. He was very nice about it, listened to it all, and said, "All right, well, let me put it this way, Russell. You're playing the lead character in my film, right? The character of Johnny has two front teeth....'

 * I don't follow anybody in particular. When people talk about Laurence Olivier or something, I go, "Fuck, man, once you've had De Niro with Raging Bull, that's where you begin."

 * On the set of Gladiator, I didn’t have a very good relationship with the producers. I had a very good relationship with Ridley [Scott], but the producers couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just chill out. The reason I wouldn't chill out was because I knew that if I did fucking chill out, in those five minutes something stupid would now be in the movie. Like, they were trying to get me to do a love scene, and I'm saying to them, "What we're doing here is about the vengeance of a man whose wife has been killed— you cannot have him stop off for a little bit of nooky on the way."

 * Every now and then I say something like this and it just sounds so self-righteous— but if there's anything I'm aiming at, it is that I want there to be a trust between me and an audience. I want them to absolutely know that if I've done it, there's some really good fucking reasons; there's something special about it. Sooner or later, the press, the magazine shit, the tabloid sort of shit, that'll all go away, because no matter how many times they say it, it's still not going to be true. What is true is what I put down in movies. Even though it's pretend, that's the truth.

 * I've always had a thing about being accused of something when I'm not guilty of it, you know? That goes right back to a primary school thing. It's the thing that scares me the most— being blamed for something that I didn't do... And there's that "If you get accused of something and you get angry, then you must be guilty."

 * I went shopping with Danielle yesterday, and we were in a bookstore. And this woman actually said, "Look, Russell Crowe reads— who'd have known?"

 * I used to have these very strange situations where I'd be walking down the street and I would imagine people calling out my name. I was as optimistic and as full of hope as anybody could be. And lots of things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to when I was a younger fella, but I didn't lose that thirst to understand what it is that I could do well.

 * A guy like Hando is abhorrent to me— the philosophy that governs his life is something that disgusts me completely— so that was an interesting learning experience.
 * On playing a neo-Nazi skinhead in one of his earliest roles.

 * Probably the biggest difference— the thing that really took my life and changed it, and made my relationship with the press a defensive one instead of one of tolerant amusement or whatever— was Meg Ryan. And, gee whiz, I'm not going to apologize for that situation in my life. It's just there. Well, actually, that's wrong— I would apologize if there are people that were directly hurt from that situation. There was never any intention like that. Quite frankly, it was in the papers before it was a reality, you know? So we were already having to deal with the bullshit, and that possibly brought us close together, because we were both dealing with what it meant to be put in that situation.

 * It was probably easier for me to deal with this huge thing that was happening by having this little thing to do, which was keep the video camera going. Plus, my wife has a record, an absolute record, of something that happened to her that she was not experiencing. And I know it sounds daggy and what have you, but mate, it's a hell of a cool thing to watch. I'm not being self-defensive or whatever— I have absolutely no problem expressing myself. This thing of confusing Bud White or Maximus with who I am is ridiculous. Like it's such a big fucking deal that Russell Crowe might cry? Are you fucking kidding?
 * On his tearing up at his wedding, and of recording his son's birth.

 * I'm not really doing the fucking Russell Crowe brand-name shit. I'm not fulfilling that stuff. So if I don't fulfill, then just write about it anyway... You know, there was an article I was reading on-set somewhere, and there were eleven things on this list that made me a motherfucker, right? The eleven points of motherfuckerdom of Russell Crowe. And nine of them were completely untrue, had never happened, but had been over time reprinted so much that they were now folkloric.

 * To be honest, when you're younger and cooler, you say those sort of things don't mean anything, but then on the day when they pat you on the back and they say, "Look, mate, we're noticing what you're doing-thanks very much;' you think of the people who spent a life in the cinema and didn't receive that kind of accolade, and it's sort of a humbling experience. And it's very nice and all that. But it doesn't change the way I do things.
 * On winning an Oscar for Gladiator.

 * This is not belittling it, because I do think it's a very emotionally and intellectually complicated physical performance, and it's the combination of those things that made it a little unusual, I suppose. But I definitely rate The Insider and A Beautiful Mind above that. I probably rate Romper Stomper above it. And there's a hell of a lot of nuance going on in L.A. Confidential as well.
 * On his role in Gladiator.

 * None of it was my application. I didn’t pay for any of it. It was…the FBI, bless their pressed white shirts. They picked up on something they thought was really important, and they were following it through. They were fucking serious, mate. What are you supposed to do? You get this late-night call from the FBI when you arrive in Los Angeles, and they’re like absolutely full-on, "We’ve got to talk to you now, before you do anything. We have to have a discussion with you, Mr. Crowe."
 * On being protected by the FBI.

 * That was the first conversation in my life that I’d ever heard the phrase Al Qaeda. And it was something to do with some recording picked up by a French policewoman, I think, in either Libya or Algiers. And it was a destabilization plan. I don’t think that I was the only person. But it was about—and here’s another little touch of irony— it was about taking iconographic Americans out of the picture as a sort of cultural-destabilization plan.
 * The irony being that he is a New Zealand born Australian, who has often made clear his dislike of being in Hollywood.

 * Oh yeah, there was a point where they said they thought the threat had probably or had possibly been overstated, and then they started to question their sources, and blah, blah, blah. But I don't know how it was resolved, you know? But they were serious about it. And what can you say? I mean, gee, there were a lot of man-hours spent doing that gig, so the least I can say is, "Thank you very much."

60 Minutes interview (2006)

 * Interview with Steve Kroft on 60 Minutes (November 2006)

 * I'm not Machiavellian. I don't play chess with my life, you know. I respond in the moment, which is what makes me a good actor. It makes me, sometimes, a good interview subject but it also makes me a very easy target.

 * I think my reputation is something that I'll probably try to spend the rest of my life living it down and it probably won't work.

 * He was screaming at me at the time. He was calling me all manner of things and the all the other cast — or the three principal guys that I worked with, or that I shared a dressing with, were holding my arms. So that's all I had left to hit him with. And he fucking deserved it.
 * On being asked about head-butting actor Peter Cousins.

 * I have a temper. My mum's got a temper. My brother's got a temper. You've got to have one. You know what happens if you don't have one? One day you're walking down the street and you just pop. You're lying there dead on the pavement because you've been holding and suppressing all this bullshit, you know.

 * I live a real life, man. It's complex. Some days are absolute diamonds and some days are dog shit, same as everybody else. Unfortunately, some days that are diamonds I've taken them and turned them into doing shit. But you live and you learn. I'm 42. I'll get wiser.

title: Russell Crowe


text:
Radical Dreamers

Radical Dreamers (ラジカル・ドリーマーズ -盗めない宝石-?, literally Radical Dreamers -The Unstealable Jewel-) is a Japanese video game produced by Squaresoft (now Square Enix) in 1996 for the Satellaview add-on for the Nintendo Super Famicom. It is a text-based visual novel in which the player takes the role of Serge, a young adventurer accompanied by Kid, a teen-aged thief, and Gil, a mysterious masked magician.

 * "...But we will succeed. We pride ourselves in making the impossible possible." -Serge

 * "We can't lose... We've come too far to lose." - Serge

 * "...Do you still remember...? How we first met, and all of our adventures since... It all seems like such a dream nowadays... You were a piece of a star that fell from the sky. Whenever I want to return to those days long gone, I close my eyes and whisper your name into the evening sky... Kid... Kid..." - Opening Dialogue

 * "Heat cup... provolone... soccer mom...!!" "It's like he's wasted or something..." - Serge, while Gil recites an incantation

 * "Kid, this is actually a 'Martian Forest League Concealed Lesser Armament Bunny', and it is far more than a toy." - Gil, as Mick Van Jovi

title: Radical Dreamers


text:
Talk:Mason Cooley

Unsourced
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 * When you can't figure out what to do, it's time for a nap.
 * Trust, but look for the exits.
 * Regret for wasted time is more wasted time.
 * Money is to my social existence what health is to my body.
 * Travelers never think that THEY are the foreigners.
 * In bridge clubs and in councils of state, the passions are the same.
 * Theory can leave questions unanswered, but practice has to come up with something.
 * Thinking about the universe has now been handed over to specialists. The rest of us merely read about it.
 * Self-pity makes people callous.
 * A frog in love would not be enchanted to learn that her beloved had turned into Prince Charming.
 * Explanations comfort us by giving the impression that there is an order in things.
 * Every book teaches a lesson, even if the lesson is only that one has chosen the wrong book.
 * Living alone is good for privacy, bad for full-scale cooking and moving heavy furniture.
 * The sacred is found boring by many who find the uncanny fascinating.
 * Studying the past may suggest new ways of going wrong.
 * Talk about yourself as much as you like, but do not expect others to listen.
 * Many try to force the past to change.
 * Inequality is a fact. Equality is a value.
 * Listening to people keeps them entertained.
 * If you are going to be rude, be quick about it.
 * Hypocrisy is the outside of cynicism.
 * An insult angers me. Being ignored crushes me.
 * For many, immaturity is an ideal, not a defect.
 * Giving out crowns to everyone will not make a nation of kings.
 * A quiet fool can go undiscovered for a long time.
 * I regret. I apologize. I blame myself. I continue as before.
 * "Why not?" is a slogan for an interesting life.
 * Beautiful people are forgiven more often than the rest.
 * The madness of love can always be suspended—to cook dinner or catch a plane, for instance.
 * Understanding replaces imaginary fears with real ones.
 * Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.

title: Talk:Mason Cooley


text:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a 1988 film that combines animation and live-action. The film takes place in Los Angeles in 1947, where animated characters (always referred to as "Toons") are real beings who live and work alongside humans in the real world, most of them as actors in animated cartoons.

 * Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Written by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman, based on the novel Who Censored Roger Rabbit? by Gary Wolf.

It's the story of a man, a woman, and a rabbit in a triangle of trouble.

Roger Rabbit

 * My whole purpose in life is to...make...people...laugh!
 * Is there nothing that can permeate your impervious puss? Hey, Eddie!
 * A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.
 * Yes, it's me my dearest. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage! [Judge Doom: Put that gun down, you buck toothed fool!] That's it, Doom! Give me another excuse to pump ya full of lead! Thought you could get away with it, didn't you?! Ha! We Toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid! We demand justice! Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks!

Eddie Valiant

 * Scotch on the rocks. And I mean ice! [Penguin waiters from Mary Poppins]
 * [to Earl, who recently got laid off] Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.
 * Nice Going, Jess!

Jessica Rabbit

 * Mr. Valiant? [madly slaps Eddie in the face] I hope you're proud of yourself. And those pictures you took.
 * Oh, my God! It's DIP!!!
 * I think I'm gonna faint.

Judge Doom

 * You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtains on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring to take a new role in the private sector.
 * Can you guess what this is? [Jessica Rabbit: Oh, my God! It's DIP!!!] That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toontown off the face of the Earth!
 * [after showing Eddie his true form: A toon; as his voice grows higher-pitched every second] REMEMBER ME, EDDIE?! WHEN I KILLED YOUR BROTHER, I TALKED JUST... LIKE...  THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * [last words] I'M MELTING! MELTING! WAUGH-WAUGH-WAAAAH! Oh no!

Dialogue

 * Marvin: Over here, Jessica. I have everything ready. Right here, on the bed.
 * Jessica: [tired out] Oh, not tonight, Marvin. I have a headache.
 * Marvin: Oh, Jessica, you promised.
 * Jessica: Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer.
 * [Eddie stands by the window and takes pictures of them playing patty-cake]
 * Eddie: [surprised] You gotta be kidding me.

 * Jessica: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
 * Eddie: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
 * Jessica: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

 * Eddie: D'you mean to tell me you could've taken your hand outta that cuff at any time?!
 * Roger: No. Not at any time. Only when it was funny. Bl-bl-bl-! [jumps away as Eddie tries to hit him and spins in a chair] C'mon, Eddie! Where's your sense of humor?
 * Dolores: Is he always this funny or only on days when he's wanted for murder?

 * [Eddie throws Roger into a secret room; Roger screams and lands head first in a bucket which gets stuck and Roger struggles to get it off.]
 * Roger: Hey, who turned out the lights? I can't see a thing! What's going on?
 * Eddie: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
 * Roger: [kicks the bucket off and Valiant catches it] But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
 * Eddie: SIT DOWN!!
 * Roger: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
 * Eddie: Yeah. And when they're done laughing, they're gonna call the cops! That guy, Angelo, would rat on you for a nickel.
 * Roger: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
 * Eddie: Why, just because you made him laugh?
 * Roger: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.

 * Smart Ass: Say, boss. You want we should "disresemble" the place?
 * Doom: No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me. [taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter] No toon can resist the old Shave-and-a-Haircut trick. [taps "Shave and a Haircut" a few times]
 * Eddie: I don't know who's toonier; you or Doom. [Roger starts freaking out] Roger! [Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut"; Roger freaks out even more] Roger! Roger, no!
 * Doom: [taps "Shave and a Haircut" again; Roger violently freaks out to his limits] Shave and a haircut.
 * Roger: [crashes through the wall] 2 BITS!

 * Eddie: Happy Trails.
 * Roger: No, thanks, Eddie. I'm tryin' to cut down.
 * Eddie: Drink the drink!
 * Roger: But I don't want the drink!
 * Doom: He doesn't want the drink.
 * Eddie: He does!
 * Roger: I don't!
 * Eddie: You do!
 * Roger: I don't!
 * Eddie: You do!
 * Roger: I don't!
 * Eddie: You do!
 * Roger: I don't!
 * Eddie: You don't.
 * Roger: I do!
 * Eddie: You don't!
 * Roger: I do!
 * Eddie: You don't!
 * Roger: [takes the drink] Listen! When I say "I do", that means I do!
 * [Roger drinks the glass, causing him to leap into the air and emit the same ear-piercing whistling sound as before in Maroon's office, breaking multiple bottles and glasses. Eddie fights the weasels, smashing all the tables and breaking bottles. As the drink's effect on Roger wears out, he nearly falls in the dip, but Valiant catches him]
 * Eddie: Got you, kid! [knocks over the barrel of dip to slow down Doom]
 * Roger: Come on, Eddie! Let's get outta here! Move it, pops! YIKES!! [he and Eddie rush outside] Yeah! That was quick thinking, Eddie! Nothin' like using the ol' spine flower, the wise noodle, the smart puddin'!
 * Eddie: Roger, let's use this! [grabs Roger and throws him in the weasels van]
 * Roger: Let's get outta here! What are you waiting for?!
 * Eddie: THERE'S NO DAMN KEY!
 * [They both hear a voice from the back]
 * Benny: HEY, YOU WEASELS! LET ME OUTTA HERE, WILL YA?! COME ON! I'VE GOTTA MAKE A LIVING!
 * Roger: [opens the hatch and looks back] Benny, is that you?
 * Benny: [sarcastically] No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt. Come on, Roger. Get me outta here!
 * Roger: [squeezes through the hatch and the love letter to Jessica falls into Eddie's lap. He puts it in his pocket] Eddie! We got ourselves a ride! Open the doors!
 * [Eddie opens the van doors and a toon taxi cab named Benny leaps out]
 * Benny: Ah! That's better! I can't believe they locked me up for driving on a sidewalk!

 * [After the weasels have searched Eddie and Jessica for the will, but have failed]
 * Doom: Do they have the will or not?
 * Smart Ass: Nah, just a stupid love letter.
 * Doom: No matter. I doubt if that will is going to show up in the next 15 minutes, anyway.
 * Eddie: What happens in the next 15 minutes?
 * Doom: Toontown will be legally mine - lock, stock, and barrel.

 * [Eddie's doing the singing, dancing, and jokes to make the weasels literally die laughing]
 * Jessica: [about Eddie] He's lost his mind.
 * Roger: [in a sing-song voice] I don't think so.

 * [The Toons from Toontown appear and gather around the remains of Judge Doom]
 * Mickey: Gosh, I wonder who he really was.
 * Bugs: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.
 * Daffy: Or a duck.
 * Goofy: Or a dog.
 * Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.
 * Big Bad Wolf: Or a sheep.
 * Woody: Or a woodpecker. [laughs]
 * Sylvester: Or a pussy.

 * Jessica: Come on, Roger, let's go home. I'll bake you a carrot cake.

Cast

 * Bob Hoskins - Eddie Valiant
 * Christopher Lloyd - Judge Doom
 * Joanna Cassidy - Dolores
 * Stubby Kaye - Marvin Acme
 * Alan Tilvern - R.K. Maroon (final film role before his death on December 17, 2003)
 * Richard LeParmentier - Lt. Santino
 * Joel Silver - Raoul

Voices

 * Charles Fleischer - Roger Rabbit, Benny the Cab, Greasy, and Psycho

 * Lou Hirsch - Baby Herman

 * Kathleen Turner - Jessica Rabbit
 * Amy Irving (singing)

 * David L. Lander - Smart Ass

 * Fred Newman - Stupid

 * June Foray - Wheezy and Lena Hyena

 * Mel Blanc - Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Tweety Bird, and Sylvester.

 * Joe Alaskey - Yosemite Sam

 * Wayne Allwine - Mickey Mouse

 * Tony Anselmo - Donald Duck

 * Tony Pope - Goofy and the Big Bad Wolf

 * Mae Questel - Betty Boop

 * Russi Taylor - Minnie Mouse and birds

 * Pat Buttram, Jim Cummings and Jim Gallant - Toon bullets

 * Les Perkins as Mr. Toad

 * Mary T. Radford - Hyacinth Hippo

 * Nancy Cartwright - a Toon shoe

 * Cherry Davis - Woody Woodpecker

 * Peter Westy - Pinocchio

 * Richard Williams - Droopy

 * April Winchell - Mrs. Herman

 * Frank Sinatra (archival recording) - Singing Sword

title: Who Framed Roger Rabbit