text:
Spin City

Spin City (1996–2002) was a United States sitcom, that starred Michael J. Fox, Barry Bostwick, Richard Kind, Alan Ruck and Michael Boatman.

Pilot [1.1]

 * Mike: Who here is gay?
 * (Mike turns to Karen, who is smiling and giggling.)
 * Mike: Not that kind of gay.

 * Nikki: (on phone): I didn't mean to scare you, it was just a simple run of the mill orgasm... (Mike walks up) ...Can you hold on a second, Mom?
 * Mike: Oh, I'll let you get back to your mom, before she loses her erection.

 * Reporter: Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching in the gay pride parade this week?
 * Mayor: What are you, drunk?

The Rivals [1.5]

 * Mike: (about Mayor Garfield's passing) We need to get working on your statement.
 * Mayor: I killed him. I killed him dead.
 * Mike: That's a good starting point. How about softening it up a little?

 * Mayor: It's not jealousy; I just wish I had what he had.

 * Nikki: They had a candle light vigil at the fountain last night. Hundreds showed up.
 * Carter: Of course only five people could fit around it at one time. They had to vigil in shifts.

Grand Illusion [1.7]

 * Mayor Winston: Even if I were prejudiced against gays, I'd want 'em to get married. Give them a taste of the nightmare the rest of us live through every day.

The Competition [1.10]

 * Carter: Believe it or not, I came out at Thanksgiving.
 * Nikki: How'd you pull that off?
 * Carter: Very subtle. "Dad, great job carving the turkey. I'm a homosexual."
 * Nikki: Well, every year, I go to my sister's house, hug her three beautiful children, then my family gathers round, ties me to a chair, and pummels me with questions about why I'm not married yet.
 * Stuart: Me, my mom, my dad, three Hungry Man dinners, and a big box of wine. The first "I hate you" comes out around 9:30.

Dog Day Afternoon [1.11]

 * Stuart: You see grasshopper, one must understand the rhythms of the game-. WAAAAHH!! -In order to truly master ebb and flow, ying and yang. Are you prepared to do battle?
 * Janelle: No, I want you to talk some more.

Starting Over [1.14]

 * Mike: I'm not a club kinda guy. If I wanna shout, I'll go visit my grandmother.

 * Carter: It's not like I'm sleeping with every man in town. You are straight. Do you sleep with every woman you meet?
 * Stuart: YES!

Deaf Becomes Her [1.20]

 * Stuart: Who's looking out for the white middle-class, heterosexual male?
 * Carter: Congress.

Hot in the City [1.21]

 * Paul: C'mon trade with me, my nuns for your lesbians.
 * Carter: They're not baseball cards, Paul.

 * Paul: What do lesbians know about me? This could be a fabulous opportunity!
 * Stuart: To remind them why they're lesbians?

 * Mike: Are you telling me that your pregnant?
 * Carrie: No, but I will be thanks to you.
 * Mike: Wait a second, am I missing a step here, cause if you're talking about last night, I took precautions, we took precautions!
 * Carrie: Let't just say I'm the kinda girl who never throws anything away...I put it in the freezer.
 * Mike: You froze my guys?!
 * Carrie: I'm just here to get your blessing.
 * Mike: What am I, the pope?!
 * Carrie: Don't yell at me!
 * Mike: Those are my guys, I want them back!
 * Carrie: Look, if you're gonna be all weird about this, I'm just gonna leave!
 * Mike: You can't do this! (opens office door) GIMME BACK MY SPERM!

 * Paul: As a show of good faith, you have to release 1, maybe 2 million of the hostages.

Bone Free [1.22]

 * Mike: Basically, by 6 o'clock, anyone in the city with breasts is going to hate us.
 * Stuart: Welcome to my world.

 * Nikki: Why couldn't the Mayor just stand up?
 * (Male coworkers chuckling)
 * Nikki: What? What am I missing?
 * Mike: How am I gonna explain this. Okay, Nikki. Even though the Mayor wasn't actually standing...he was at full attention.
 * Nikki: Nooo.
 * Mike: Yes, now how are we gonna explain this little snub to the Woman's Action Caucus?
 * Stuart: Snub? The man paid the woman the ultimate compliment!
 * Mike: Yeah, if they were orangutans.

 * Nikki: Can't you guys control those things?
 * Stuart: Not always.
 * Mike: You can scold it, or smack it around a little bit. That only seems to encourage it.
 * Nikki: I am fascinated.
 * James: Sometimes all it takes is a thought, memory...sometimes all it takes is a slight breeze.

 * Stuart: Why do women always go for losers like him?
 * Carter: What, instead of losers like you?

 * James: We've got to rescue her from that monster!
 * Mike: He's her boyfriend, he's not Jason.

 * Nikki: George is not some kind of deadbeat. I'll have you know that he's a writer! [Mike, Carter, and Stuart all groan] He's writing a screenplay! [They groan louder] What's wrong with that?!
 * Mike: He's a writer! That's like an actor who's too lazy to work at a restaurant!
 * Stuart: He's using you for a free ride, Nikki. Trust me, I know guys like him...I am guys like him.

 * Paul: If you'd given me any more time I could've recovered.
 * Mike: Paul, if I'd have given you any more time up there, you would have declared the Mayor dead.

 * Mayor: It was back in the '60s, and I was at this party and some idiot spiked the Kool-Aid. Before I knew it, I was 3/4 up a pine tree, naked as a jay bird, trying to get away from all the giant bugs, there.
 * Mike: Well, there you have it. Okay, so I tell the press that you were in a mental hospital...because you were taking acid.
 * Mayor: Coincidentally, that was the same night I decided to run for Mayor.

 * Mike: Playing doctor should be left to qualified professionals. And of course, curious youngsters.

Porn in the U.S.A. [2.2]

 * Mike: (to the porn actresses) I'm Deputy Mayor Michael Flaherty, and I'm going to pretend I don't know who any of you are.

 * Mike: (to Stuart) Ok, Stuart. Inside that is some of the biggest names in the porn business. Your heroes.

 * Carter: Can't you tell if a man is handsome?
 * Stuart: Huh, nice try.

 * Nikki: I can't get from ESPN to the Comedy Channel without some big penis waving in my face.
 * James: Where are you watching television?

 * Mayor: (reading cue cards) Good afternoon, all. I want to start out with a personal outrage that has been going on too long. Public access... (switches cards) ...pornography.
 * Mike: (to James) You want to work on where you break those cards.
 * Mayor: (reading cue cards) I just want to make sure that material with graphic sexual content is available and seen... (switches cards) ...only by those people who specifically want to see it.
 * Mike: (to James) Ok, you did that one on purpose.

 * Mike: (on the porn industry) Is lack of exposure really a problem for them?

 * Mike: I have a penis.
 * Nikki: Don't make me get my purse.

The Goodbye Girl [2.4]
Carter Haywood: Well, I do have another idea, but its a little far fetched.

Mike Flahrety: I don't care, I'm desperate

Carter Hayward: All right, you're gonna have to get your hands on a time machine

Mike Flahrety: Is it so hard for you woman to pick up the phone?

Radio Daze [2.6]

 * Drew West: So, Randy, what was the deal with your book signing? I heard the only person that show up was your ex-wife and she just wanted directions to my book signing.  See, she already knows the way to my house.
 * Mayor Winston: Yes, well, Helen always did love doing charity work.
 * Drew West: Oh, I think I just got slammed by the Mayor
 * Mayor Winston: Helen used to love that too

 * Janelle Cooper: Ok, you first
 * Nikki Faber: Four seasons, silk sheets, champagne, he's wearing his uniform
 * Janelle Cooper: Secluded beach, full moon, he's wearing his uniform
 * Stacy Paterno: Right here, right now, I'M wearing his uniform

Family Affair (1) [2.9]

 * Paul: When I bite into a York peppermint patty...I get shot.

They Shoot Horses, Don't They? [2.11]

 * Stacey: I can tell when people are lying. It's a gift.
 * James: You know, I have a friend who can do the same thing.
 * Stacey: No you don't.

 * Stuart: Why wouldn't you ask me to look after The Mayor's daughter?
 * Mike: Same reason they don't give guns to monkeys

Miracle Near 34th Street [2.12]

 * Mike: As my assistant, occasionally you may need to assist me.

 * Stacey: Every time I throw a Christmas party, someone dies.
 * Janelle: I guess every family has their traditions.

 * Paul: So to sum up ladies and gentlemen...I don't know

 * James: Every year, my mom makes a whole Nativity scene out of candy. (picks up a piece) Chocolate Jesus.
 * Carter: James, please. At work, just call me Carter.

 * Nikki: Do you not have an ounce of Christmas Spirit in you?
 * Stuart: Well, Joseph was about 3 ounces.

 * Mayor: I'm going to stand here and read this story to the city, because I want all the children out there to believe in the magic of (reading speech) Satan.
 * Mike: That's Santa. It's a typo.
 * James: You wait until there's something important to you and i eat it.

Gentleman's Agreement [2.15]

 * Mike: The Mayor is a man of great vision
 * Mayor: (Walks out of sauna with steamed up glasses) I can't see

 * Mike: [Tossing a bunch of towels into the sauna] Here are your towels!
 * Stuart: [From inside the sauna] We don't need them!
 * Stacy: STUART!

Deaf Man Walking [2.16]

 * Mayor: (to Mike whose pen has leaked in his mouth when he was chewing on it) Your mouth is blue. Did you have a snow cone?

Bye, Bye, Birdie [2.21]

 * Carter: (about a giant statue giving the finger) Mike, its huge! Where can we put it?
 * Mayor: How about my ex-wife's lawn?

The Paul-Bearer [2.24]

 * Mike: (on delaying the funeral) A couple more hours wouldn't kill her ... again.

 * Mike: I understand. People are very excited to start mourning.

 * Mike: Or maybe she was just there to remind us that blowing your hair in the bathtub isn't a good idea.

 * Mike: Well, it's not all bad news.
 * Paul: How could you say that?
 * Mike: Well, for starters, it's not all my fault anymore.

 * Nikki: I am not gonna do that unless he wakes up.
 * Stuart: Ladies and gentlemen, Nikki's only rule of dating.

 * Claudia: There was corpse at my wedding!
 * Stuart: Hey, I know Paul's not an exciting guy...

 * Father Larry: Now Paul, your vows are to 'love Claudia, and to lose five pounds'?
 * Paul: Well, I wanted to combine my vows and New Year's resolutions.

 * Paul: (on Mike taking over) Are you sure this is legal?
 * Mike: What, are you wearing a wire?

 * Stuart: (after putting a sandwich in the poor box) What? If they're poor, they're hungry.

Dead Dog Talking [3.1]

 * Mike: ahhh seals!

 * Crazy Zoo Guy: actually they're sealions. Seals have more pronouced ear flaps.

____________________________________________________

 * Mike: I woke up this morning with a hangover and a swore wrist.

 * Stuart: Yeah, I've been there.

____________________________________________________

 * Mike: Sir, we're going on a little earlier than we expected because the good samaritian of the year couldn't make it.

 * Mayor: Why's that Mike?

 * Mike: Well because he's in jail. Apparently he got all his good samartian juice from his cocain smuggling ring.

 * Mayor: Ha this city... Somebody should do something.

_________________________________________________________

There's Something About Heidi [3.2]

 * Mayor: (After looking at a picture of Mike kissing Heidi Klum's butt) This used to be my ass Flaherty.

 * Mike: (Looking into a toilet) DUDE!

________________________________________________

Gone with the Wind [3.3]

 * Mike: (In a spacesuit, about to have sex with Heidi Klum) One small step for man, one giant... (stares at Heidi's breasts) Oh dear God, thank you. (jumps and floats in bed) The eagle has landed. (Heidi's bra, Mike's underwear, and a packet of condoms floats across the screen) Space is cool.

 * Stuart: (Looking at a picture of James's aunt Sarah) Wow, she was a cow.
 * Nikki: Stuart, very nice.
 * Stuart: I'm serious, she was an actual cow.

 * [Mike and Carter are trying to shut off a fan in Paul's office]
 * Carter: Go on without me!
 * Mike: I'm not leaving you behind!
 * Carter: You don't have a choice!
 * Mike: Whatever may occur, I will find you!

 * Mike: How many cigars equal a dead cow anyway?
 * Janelle: Twelve.

 * James: Look at me Mike. I'm twenty-six, I'm single..., and I'm holding the ashes of a dead cow

The Deer Hunter [3.4]

 * Mike: (slapping Paul on the but) Way to go Paulie.
 * [Paul walks away]
 * Mike: It's a lot firmer than you think.

 * Stuart:: I take my coffee the way I take my women.
 * Stacy:: Are you sure you want to pay $75 for a cup of coffee?

 * Janelle: Look, do what I do. Picture Stuart as a new puppy. Is it helping.
 * Stacey: Nope, still trying to hump my leg

 * [Mike aims and purposefully misses the adult deer]
 * Nolan: Wow. I didn't even see that one. We don't usually shot babies but that was a hell of a shot. (laughs)

 * Carter: Mike, shouldn't we wear the oranges?
 * Mike: Oh, forget the oranges.
 * [Mike opens the door and a gunshot is heard]
 * Mike: Let's orange up.

 * [Mike and Carter have taken the wounded deer to a hospital]
 * Doctor: what are you doing, that is a deer
 * Mike: Oh darn, that means I’ve got Ed strapped to the roof of my car

 * [Filling out patient admission forms at the hospital for the deer]
 * Carter:	Blood type?
 * Mike: Deer? [off Carter’s look] Deer negative.
 * Carter: ‘Relationship to patient’ oh that’s easy: Assassin!
 * Mike: Listen Carter, I may have shot him, but you ate his mother!

Three Men and a Little Lady [3.6]

 * Deidre: [Meeting Carter and Rags for the first time] Right, you're the gay guy. [She opens her robe, flashing him] So this means nothing to you? [Carter stares in shock and covers Rags' eyes]

 * Mike: Paul, ever since you got married, you have been nothing but excuses
 * Paul: Well that's not true!
 * Mike: Paul, you've been married five months, you've celebrated your anniversary seven times!
 * Paul: Mike, Claudia needs me.
 * Mike: I need you!
 * Paul: Claudia depends on me.
 * Mike: I depend on you!
 * Paul: Claudia gives me sweet lovin'.
 * Mike: ......I depend on you!

Local Hero [3.11]

 * [James is in a Michael Jackson costume and Carter walks in with his costume covered in a coat cover]
 * Carter: (sees James and tosses his costume to the floor) DAMN IT!

 * [Stuart is wearing a Bill Clinton mask]
 * Stuart: (in a Bill Clinton like voice) Deny, deny, deny.

 * [Mike and Carter are looking for Councilman Pete]
 * Carter: (in a bunny suit) Mike, hurry up!
 * Mike: I can't run in this suit!
 * [Mike runs into a phone booth and changes into a Superman costume]

Monkey Business [3.12]

 * [Mike is sitting on the Mayor's lap]
 * Mayor: (in a Santa suit) Well, young man, what do you want for Christmas?
 * Mike: Uh, my dignity back.

 * Lloyd and Carter: (together) You're disgusting.
 * Alfred and Stuart" (together) Bite me.

 * [Carter is having a dream about the future]
 * Old Stuart: Long time no see. How old are you now?
 * Mike: (Looks exactly the same) Eighty-eight.

Later...
 * Stuart: You know who I can't believe is still alive?
 * Carter: Who? Ha.
 * [Camera shows Rags sitting on a chair]

The Nutty Deputy Mayor [3.14]

 * Carter: I don't get this rock-papers-scissor. Why does paper beat rock?
 * Paul: It just does!
 * Carter: Why don't you grab a piece of paper, I get a rock, we'll meet at the playground and then let's see what beats what!

 * Mike: Was there a reason why you would do this to me?
 * Stuart: Did you not strut down a runway in a 300-pound fat-suit?
 * Mike: Yeah.
 * Stuart: Then I don't understand the question...

 * Mike: On that note, I found this while I was accidentally...rifling through your desk. (Reading personal ad) "Divorced male seeks special lady for romance." Sir, you can't submit a personal ad.
 * Mayor Winston: You think that's me?
 * Mike: [Reading personal ad] "6'4, salt and pepper hair.....Mayor of New York."

Internal Affairs [3.16]

 * The Mayor and team are on a stakeout in a police van
 * Mayor: What sort of action are we tracking?
 * Carter: Sir, this area is dominated by the world's oldest profession.
 * Mayor: [nods] Bankers.

Dick Clark's Rockin' Make-Out Party '99 [3.17]

 * Mike is listing sexual harassment items against Stuart
 * Mike: Item 10: Inappropriate use of the word "mount". Item 11: Pushing the elevator button without using his hands. (pause) What floor?
 * Stuart: 3rd
 * Mike: That's not bad.

 * Mayor: I complimented Judge Stenciler's mustache today.
 * Janelle gasps
 * Mayor: I know... She was not happy.

 * Janelle is walking in on the Mayor, Paul, and Carter practicing the waltz
 * Janelle: With the new security cameras, I'll bet some guard is getting a kick out of this.
 * Guard (sitting in the security cam room): Shake it, fellas. Shake it.

 * Mike: So - has anybody felt harassed by Stuart?
 * Paul: Stuart has been publishing naked pictures of me to the internet!
 * Mike: That's not harassing you, Paul, that's harassing the internet.

 * Marie: I don't know what it is about you, James, there's something about you. You just seem so, so old....so mature.
 * James: Maybe that's because you teach 4th grade.

 * Stuart and Diedre is having a fight, after their break-up
 * Stuart: I slept with your sister!
 * Dierdre: I was there, you idiot!

Back to the Future IV: Judgment Day [3.18]

 * Mike: This is like stepping back in time.
 * Owen: The past is prologue, Michael. Men like us have to keep looking to the future.
 * Mike: What the hell are you talking about?
 * Owen: I don't know.

 * Mike: (reading Owen's list)Things to do: Banish Satan and the forces of Evil; build the New Jerusalem; buy milk...
 * Owen: Damn! I always forget the milk!

That's Entertainment [3.20]
James Hobert: "My Great Uncle had a ticket on the titanic actually, at the last second he decided not to go on"

Nikki Faber: "Wow, lucky guy"

James Hobert: "No, no, on the way home he got hit by a milk truck. If only he'd gotten on that damn boat"

Wall Street [3.24]
(The guys playing poker)

Stuart: Come on, its my bet. Paul, I said its my bet Paul: (Looking at James' cards) Did I ever tell you guys about my friend Pete? He's got two houses in Queens.

Stuart: I'll see your $10, and raise you $20.

Carter: I'm out

Mike: I don't know if its me or the barely brew talking, but I'm out too

James: I have nothing.

(Mike rearranges James cards)

James: Wait, you can do that?? I'm in

Stuart: Paul, I can't decide whether I should stay in or not

Paul: Correction, he's got THREE houses in Queens, an ace of a guy....and a seven

James and the Giant Speech [4.2]

 * Mike: James! Good news buddy, you are back on speech duty. Now I don't want to put too much pressure on you, but you got to write me something amazing.
 * James: You got it, Mike. [tries to leave]
 * Mike: No no no James you don't understand. This has to be brilliant, I mean, it has to be inspiring.
 * James: No sweat, I'll crank something out by lunchtime
 * Mike: Not with that attitude you won't! Look, where are the nerves. Where's the fear? Do you know what great athletes do before the big game?
 * James: Steroids?

How to Bury a Millionaire [4.8]

 * Paul: Guess what I am doing tonight. A: Going to the gym. B: Being a contestant on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?".
 * Mike: Well, we know it's not the gym.

 * Janelle: [Watching TV. Nikki comes in and takes the remote] Hey, what are you doing?
 * Nikki: Watching Paul on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" He's up to the $500,000 question.
 * Janelle: Well, I want to make sure the well doesn't collapse on the Mayor.
 * Nikki: Janelle, even if it does, you know they'll interrupt "Millionaire".
 * Janelle: ...That's true. [Changes the channel]

 * Regis Philbin: [After Paul is up to $500,000] Paul, you're on fire! What is your secret?
 * Paul: I'M GUESSING!

 * Janelle: [Paul is trying to decide on answering the $1 million question] Come on, Paul, say something!
 * Nikki: Just take the money. I'll learn to love you.

The Thanksgiving Show [4.9]

 * Mike: And remember, don't anybody tell Paul about this 'cause he's got a big mouth!
 * Paul: Who has a big mouth? Tell me! I wanna know! I wanna tell other people!

Goodbye (1) [4.25]

 * Dr. Peterson: Mike, are you angry at me, or are you angry at your penis?
 * Mike: Is that the only class you took in training school?

Goodbye (2) [4.26]

 * Mike: If you take the fall, then the whole staff goes down with you. This way, only one person gets hurt.
 * Mayor Winston: But why can't that person be Paul?

 * Mike: Make sure this Tony guy doesn't think you're still dating him.
 * Nikki: Fine, I will die alone with 17 cats.

Hello Charlie [5.1]

 * Caitlin: What's your excuse?
 * Charlie: I have an excuse, but it's really not the time right now.
 * Caitlin: Yes it is.
 * Charlie: Well, I flew with air Sweden yesterday.
 * Caitlin: Oh, don't tell me, you met some fancy stewardess and ended up going to her hotel.
 * Charlie: ...
 * Caitlin: Oh my god.

 * Charlie: Stuart, says here you're with the war against pornography.
 * Stuart: You're reading that wrong, it's the war against the war against pornography.
 * Charlie: I thought that was a typo.

 * Caitlin: Do you remember anything about this woman?
 * Charlie: Ehr...
 * Caitlin: You pig!
 * Charlie: Wait, something's coming.

The Spanish Prisoner [5.3]

 * Carter: Stuart, Rags was swept to the street last day and accidentally taken to the pound.
 * Stuart: He was found without a leash and than committed a G&B.
 * Carter: ...
 * Stuart: Growl and Bite.
 * Carter: Come on, you're in charge of this, make a call and set him released.
 * Stuart: Can't do that Carter, if I release Rags we have to release that Poodle we napped for a DNR.
 * Carter: ...
 * Stuart: Dump -N- Run.

All the Wrong Moves [5.8]

 * Stuart: Hey Paul, nice suit... wait a minute, today's the Bagel.
 * Charlie: What's the Bagel?
 * Stuart: Every year when Paul asks the mayor for a raise he gives him... the bagel.
 * Carter: [Walks in] Hey Paul, hey today's the bagel.

 * Stuart: How are we going to find a gay guy in here.
 * Caitlin: Let me do it, I'll just give him the look, if he doesn't return it, he's gay.
 * Caitlin: [Gives look to guy, guy looks away] Excuse me, you're gay right?
 * Guy: No.
 * Caitlin: Excuse me, but you are.
 * [Guy walks away]
 * Caitlin: 'Couple years of therapy, he'll find it out.

Wife with Mikey [6.3]

 * Mike: You've got some nerve barging into your office telling me how to do your job!
 * Charlie: That didn't make any sense.
 * Mike: I figured if I yelled, you wouldn't notice.

Cast

 * Michael J. Fox - Mike Flaherty
 * Barry Bostwick - Mayor Randall Winston
 * Richard Kind - Paul Lassiter
 * Alan Ruck - Stuart Bondeck
 * Michael Boatman - Carter Heywood
 * Connie Britton - Nikki Faber
 * Jennifer Esposito - Stacey Paterno
 * Victoria Dillard - Janelle Cooper
 * Alexander Chaplin - James Hobert
 * Heather Locklear - Caitlin Moore
 * Charlie Sheen - Charlie Crawford
 * Lana Parrilla - Angie Ordonez
 * Carla Gugino - Ashley Shaeffer

title: Spin City


text:
Queer Eye

Queer Eye was a reality show, airing on Bravo, about a team of five gay men known collectively as the "Fab Five" who perform a makeover (in the parlance of the show, a "make-better") on a person, usually a straight man, revamping his wardrobe, redecorating his home, and offering advice on grooming, lifestyle, and food. The program's name was changed from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy after the third season to broaden the scope of its content.

Hair Today, Art Tomorrow: Brian S [1.01]

 * Friend: God forbid you drink something at Butch's place.
 * Carson: Come on boys, let's motor!
 * Ted: Cheers queers.

 * Carson: You put a living room where the crack den used to be!

A Great Mess in Great Neck: Adam Z [1.02]

 * Carson: [whispering] I see straight people!

 * Adam: [after getting something waxed] OW!
 * Kyan: That was just your ear.

 * Thom: [using a child's telephone] It's 1984. They want their decorations back.

 * Thom: My God, it's like a Toys-R-Us crack den.

 * Karen Zalta: Aww, pearl earrings to go with my pearl necklace!
 * Carson: [sips cocktail] Everybody loves a pearl necklace.

Make Room for Lisa: Tom K [1.03]

 * Carson: I need a ritalin smoothie to remember all this.

 * Carson: Okay Tom, Thom, the thong and I are going to leave.

 * Lisa: I thought they would have made you into some corporate yuppie type.
 * Carson: Who are we? The five fags from IBM?

He's a Little Bit Country: John B. [1.04]

 * Carson: See? Everything is better in cashmere.

 * Carson: [looks at Kyan in a hat] You're like George. Not George straight, but like George gay.

 * Carson: Where'd you get this shirt?
 * John: Uh... K-Mart.
 * Carson: [gasps] Don't use that kind of language around me.

 * Carson: If she says no, you get to marry one of us. So it's a win-win situation.

 * Ted: [looking at glass stained window] Lord please make this window go away.

For Better and Verse: Vincent T. [1.05]

 * Carson: Can I call you Vinny?
 * Vincent: Yeah.
 * Carson: Can I call you my bitch?

 * Vincent: Can I put my clothes back on?
 * Kyan: Ye— second thought, Mmm.

 * Vincent: I was just thinking about something. What are the other three guys doing back at my house?
 * Ted: Back at your house they've probably loaded up the spraying painter and are painting your house pink.

 * Thom: Are you guys going to be offended if you come back and it's like...
 * Vincent: Organized?
 * Thom: Or gone?

 * [Vinny starts singing]
 * Carson: Wow, maybe back up singing isn't such a bad gig after all.
 * Thom: Hey, it's getting better!
 * Carson: No, we're getting drunker!

Queer Eye for Our Production Guy: Andrew L [1.06]

 * Carson: ANDREW! You only have two pairs of pants!
 * Andrew: There might be some....
 * Carson: There might be some? You don't have a complete inventory of all your couture?

 * Carson: [On his first impressions of Andrew] I was like, "Who's the homeless guy stealing the camera?"

 * Carson: We can rebuild you.
 * Ted: Make you better then you were.

 * Carson: [about a crusty towel he found in Andrew's bathroom] What's this, your dreamcatcher?

 * Andrew: Do I look like Ben Affleck?
 * Carson: You look like Ben and Jerry Affleck.

Law & Disorder: John V [1.07]

 * Carson: [sees Ayanna] Oh hi Peanut. Your boyfriend is working on my last gay nerve.

 * Carson: I could get any gay man to cuff me any day of the week, but no, let the real cop do it. [John still can't cuff Carson] I could've fled the scene in like so many ways by now.

 * Carson: Guns don't kill people! Bad fashion does!

 * Ted: Now turn, turn, turn to the camera. What were you doing?
 * Jai: Eating.
 * Ted: What were you eating?
 * Jai: Cake.
 * Ted: And who does that cake belong to?
 * Jai: John and Ayanna.
 * Ted: That's right, and they are...
 * Jai: Straight people.

 * Ayanna: The vagina is leaving the building.
 * Thom: No, no, we've still got Jai. He has to stay.

My Big Fat Greek Haircut: George K. [1.08]

 * Carson: The clothes tell a story. Yours is the story of a deranged kick-boxer who still lives with his mother in Queens.

 * George: I love mirrors.
 * Thom: We can see that.

Talk, Dark, & Dancin': Josh D [1.09]

 * Carson: Do you know what the magic word is?
 * Josh: Please?
 * Carson: No sweetie... NOW!

 * Thom: You know what, we're laying in a random guy's bed.
 * Carson: I know. Feels like old times.

 * Carson: This is like a bad episode of Soul Train with really bad dancing white people.

 * Thom: I can't believe I'm going to say this, because it's not something I say often in my line of work, but my favorite thing in your living room is your fire hydrant.

 * Ted: I hope he doesn't rush too much shucking the oysters or he might shuck his hand off. That would be a shucking tragedy.

Make Over for Daddy: Tom M [1.10]

 * Tom: Let me tell you I'm going to have a sushi buffet. That's the theme.
 * Carson: Sushi Buffet. That sounds like a drag queen.

 * Carson: What is that? Wasabi paste?
 * Ted: That's a lot of wasabi.
 * Thom: The kids are going to love that.
 * Carson: That's gonna shut the party down like a bad ferris wheel.

 * Carson: We sold your children to pay for the furniture. I think you'll find it's a better investment in the long run.

 * Kyan: [examining Tom's blow-dryer] I know all about good blow jobs, and this isn't it.

 * Ted: The theme in the kitchen appears to be: A bomb went off.

Meet the Folks: Alan C [1.11]

 * Kyan: Bro, this place is a shithole, basically.
 * Alan: After you guys tore it up, yes.
 * Kyan: No, it was a shithole before we got here.
 * Alan: It was a hole maybe before.
 * Kyan: No, it was a shithole. Can you say that? Shithole?
 * Alan: My hole is a shithole. [Kyan smiles] Now. [Kyan stops smiling]

 * Jai: [holding up book] The Idiot's Guide to Beer? Who's that much of an idiot that they need a whole guide to beer?

 * Ted: Life is to short to drink cheap booze.

 * Thom: It just looks like you blindfolded yourself, walked around the neighborhood on, like, trash night, and dragged this stuff back in your house.

 * [Jai, Kyan and Ted are playing the guitar and singing]
 * Jai: Five gay men cleaning one house. One straight man, that's all it takes, just one dirty straight man.
 * Jai and Ted: And five gay men.

Neither Rain nor Sleet nor Length of Hair: Jeff T [1.12]

 * Carson: Let's go to the mall to pick up boys!

 * Kyan: (wearing feathers in his hair): I'm feeling my inner Pochantas.

 * [Ted & Thom are playing with a fishing rod. Thom gets the hook caught in his mouth]
 * Ted: Look! I caught a fag! I caught a homosexual!

 * Carson: Gay, good. Gray, bad.

 * Corrine: Are we in the right house?

Mr. Clean Comes Clean: Richard M [1.13]

 * Carson: Let's torch the place!

 * [Ted an Laura are using an alphabet puzzle]
 * Ted: Laura, what does this spell?
 * Laura: Tragic.
 * Ted: And who's tragic?
 * Laura: My dad.

 * Carson: [about Richard's suits] Single, double, single, single, ugly...

 * Thom: [pushes Carson in the closet] Look! I got the gay guy in the closet!
 * Carson: It's dark in here.

 * Thom: He's neurotic and needy. God he's like everyone I date!

Helping the Hard-Rocking Host: Steven S. [1.14]

 * Thom: [enters the shop before Steven] Sorry, ladies before gentlemen.

 * Kyan: [looks in the shower] You could put a harness in here. Good times.

 * Thom: Let me get this straight - your friend, is a straight hairstylist, with wicker furniture. I think he's got something he's not telling you.

 * Kyan: This is a nose hair trimmer. [uses it on Steven]
 * Steven: Ouch! You shit ass rat!
 * [Carson walks in]
 * Steven: I'm crying

 * Steven: These shoes won't make me gay?
 * Carson: [bending over Steven to put on a shoe] No, but this will.

Create an Officer and a Gentleman: Ross M. [1.15]

 * Thom: Remember when you told me you'd make out with me if I got you a flat screen TV? Well pucker up, baby!

 * Carson: Who says there are no gays in the military? Someone designed the outfit.

 * Ted: I can't believe I asked an ex marine to make a chocolate souffle.

 * Jai: He called you pretty boy. Are you going to take that?
 * Kyan: Yes...[smiling] Thanks.

 * [The Fab Five are watching as Ross goes to take a shower]
 * Thom: I put in a clear shower curtain.
 * [the door shuts on the camera]
 * Fab Five: Awww!
 * Thom: For the love of God!

A Very Queer Eye Holiday [1.16]

 * Thom: Run like a woman Ted!

 * Carson: Repeat after me - I am worthy of highlights.

 * Carson: Quickly - like bunnies!

 * Kyan: Finding the porn is always a heart-felt moment.

 * Kyan: [sees Butch's products] I've died and gone to gay-men's heaven.

Radio Ralph: Ralph S. [1.17]

 * Ralph: [correcting Ted on hand signs] That means I love you in sign language. This means rock and roll.
 * Kyan: [giving Ralph the finger] You know what this means? Clean your toilet!
 * Carson: [making masturbation gesture with his hand] This means I wanna give you a handjob.

 * Thom: Ew, I can't believe I just wiped my hands on something in this apartment.

 * Thom: This apartment is scary, AAAHHHH!
 * Jai: It's time to get rid of the wee one.
 * Carson: Lions and tigers and bad taste, oh my!

 * Carson: [referring to a tight pair of jeans] They're a little bit like a cheap hotel ... no ballroom.

 * Carson: [with his head covered] Crouching Tiger, Hidden Drag Queen.

Stand Up and Deliver: Kevin D [1.18]

 * Thom: You live in a dump like a crazy person. This is freaking me out.

 * Carson: [on seeing a photo of Kevin's glamorous model girlfriend] I like long walks on the beach, leopard-print bikinis, and squalor.

 * Kyan: [about Kevin's hair] His inspiration was Johnny Depp. [to Kevin] Were you high?

 * Carson: [testing out her new married name] Matilda Downey. Jr.
 * Thom: Sounds like a drag queen with a drug problem.

 * Kyan: [holding a book entitled "Please Kill Me"] I think he wrote this book. He wrote this book after living here for a year.

Compose Yourself: Warren L. [1.19]

 * Carson: Tucking is so last week.
 * Warren: Mother tuckers!

 * Thom: It's like taking a wire hanger from the cleaners and faux-painting it wood.

 * Jai: [talking to a small model owl] Oh Mr Owl, I'm sorry you're stuck here with these smelly straight folk [kisses the owl].

 * Carson: No more musical theater until this room is clean!

 * Ted: When you look at this color, what feeling does it evoke?
 * Thom: Must die now.

Queer Guy for the Skate Guy: John Z. [1.20]

 * Carson: They should just stay home and make sweet, sweet love.
 * Kyan: You know, they really should.

 * Thom: These are horrible!
 * John: Sylvia and I made them.
 * Thom: These are delightful!

 * Carson: Here's a tip for you: when buying a velour tracksuit, stop.

 * Jai: John, this is the most boring porn I've ever seen. Ever.

 * Ted: And he's already pounding the liquor. An athlete after my own heart.

Meeting Mildred: Rob M. [1.21]

 * Jai: [about Rob, who is a phone engineer] Now does he climb the poles and stuff?

 * Thom: [holds up an ugly sweater] Now how come he wears this and has a girlfriend, yet I wear these fabulous clothes and I'm single?

 * Kyan: Your safety word is 'zucchini.'
 * [Rob goes into the dressing room.]
 * Carson: Now I'm gonna try something on. [Carson goes into the dressing room with him]
 * Rob: ZUCCHINI! ZUCCHINI!

 * [while Rob models an outfit]
 * Carson: All right, you look dressed up yet casual. Now let's go try something new. Let's make out! [slips his hand in Rob's pocket and leads him off]
 * Rob: Zucchini!
 * Kyan: Don't worry man, I got your back.

 * [Ted drops a glass object on the floor]
 * Ted: Okay then.
 * Jai: Did you break something?
 * Ted: I wouldn't say I broke it. I prefer to say IT broke.

Training Day: James M. [1.22]

 * Carson: If I didn't know you, I'd try to lure you to a wayside rest area.

 * Carson: We're stressy, we're edgy. Like us running off to Belize together.

 * [Ted and Carson move a couch toward the balcony]
 * Carson: Are we really throwing it over?
 * Ted: Yeah.
 * Carson: Okay. Don't throw like a girl.

 * Jai: We're stressing out the straight guy! Wooo!

 * Carson: [ (climbing into a clear cabinet] Look, I'm a collectable!

Do You Know the Mullet Man? Mark Fa. [1.23]

 * Carson: [about the sheets] It's a full queen. Just like you, Thom!

 * Ted: [about Costco] They've got trampolines. They've got plastic TVs. They have tube socks. They have the best tube socks. Ever.

 * Thom: You guys, look. This is my pile of stuff I don't like. Is it getting too big?

 * Carson: Your clothes are in the basement?
 * Mark: Yeah.
 * Carson: That's so Silence of the Lambs.

 * Carson: You know, if you don't have a male role model in your life, bad things can happen.
 * Thom: For example?
 * Carson: [pointing to himself] Poster child!

You Never Forget Your First Straight Guy: Lawson C. [1.24]

 * Lawson: Are you checking out my ass?
 * Gable: No.
 * Lawson: Why aren't you?

 * Carson: Everyone needs to know that we made the pilot in 1979. That's why we look so young.

 * ted: Thirty's an important time in your life. I'm looking forward to it.
 * Carson: Yeah me too.

 * Carson: Let's not worry about labels. I won't call you a pervert if you won't call me a big homo.

 * Carson: Just because you get your hair frosted doesn't mean you're gay. But if you frost someone else's hair, that's another story.

Romancing the Coach: Mark Fi [1.25]

 * Thom: Wouldn't it be embarrassing if you're a coach and you got your ass kicked by a gay decorator?

 * Carson: There's no "I" in team.
 * Mark: No.
 * Carson: There is an "M" and an "E" though.

 * Carson: Look at all this wood. It's definitely getting me in the mood.

 * Carson: Those rascally gay guys moved our dining room!

Cast

 * Ted Allen: "Food and Wine Connoisseur", expert on alcohol, beverages, food preparation, and presentation
 * Kyan Douglas: "Grooming Guru", expert on hair, grooming, personal hygiene, and makeup
 * Thom Filicia: "Design Doctor", expert on interior design and home organization
 * Carson Kressley: "Fashion Savant", expert on clothing, fashion and personal styling
 * Jai Rodriguez: "Culture Vulture", expert on popular culture, relationships and social interaction

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: Queer Eye


text:
MediaWiki:Ipboptions

15 minutes,1 hour,2 hours,1 day,31 hours,2 days,3 days,1 week,2 weeks,1 month,3 months,6 months,1 year,indefinite

title: MediaWiki:Ipboptions


text:
The Princess Diaries

The Princess Diaries is a 2001 American coming-of-age comedy film about a girl who finds out that she is the heir apparent to the throne of Genovia. With her friends in tow, she tries to navigate through the rest of her sixteenth year.
 * Directed by Garry Marshall. Written by Gina Wendkos, based on Meg Cabot's 2000 young adult novel of the same name.

'''She rocks. She rules. She reigns.'''

Mia Thermopolis

 * Somebody sat on me again!
 * Please don't crush my soy nuts.
 * Me? A... A princess? Shut... up!!!
 * I can't be a princess! I'm still waiting for the normal body parts to arrive!
 * Just in case I am not enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara!
 * [to her cat, Fat Louie] You are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.
 * You know, most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country!
 * Tell me, how does my mother, or any person for that matter, go into a parent/teacher conference and come out with a date?
 * I don't want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade.
 * [sitting in her broken-down car, in the rain] Is this punishment for driving without a licensed driver in the front seat?! [sobs and collapses across the front seat] I am invisible... and I am wet.
 * (At the Genovian Independence Day Ball) Hi, um... hello. I'm Mia. Um, it stopped raining! I'm really no good at speech-making. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away, or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn't need to know that... but I'm not so afraid anymore. See, my father helped me. Earlier this evening, I had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne. And my mother helped me, by telling me it was ok, and by supporting me like she has my entire life. But then I wondered how I'd feel after abdicating my role as Princess of Genovia. Would I feel relieved, or would I feel sad? And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word 'I.' And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there's like seven billion other people out there on the planet, and... sorry, I'm going too fast. But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time. See, if I were Princess of Genovia, then my thoughts and the thoughts of people smarter than me would be much better heard, and just maybe those thoughts could be turned into actions. So this morning when I woke up, I was Mia Thermopolis. But now I choose to be forevermore, Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia.

Joe

 * No matter how many times you push that button, it will still go up and down the same way.
 * The flags mean I can park anywhere I want. We keep the flags.
 * I have never worn pantyhose but it sounds very dangerous.
 * [last lines] Princess, look out the window... and welcome to Genovia.

Lilly Moscovitz

 * [to Joe] You know you look like Shaft?
 * [to Mia, after meeting Joe and seeing the limo for the first time] Is your mom dating an undertaker?
 * I'm taking your charm off of my charm bracelet and it's going in the dirt!
 * Will you come on my cable show? [to Mia after hearing she's a princess]
 * [to Michael and Mia] Wait up you guys! Wait for me! [two other students stop for her] Not you, I don't even know you!

PA Annoucements

 * Will the Feng Shui club please stop rearranging the tables on the lawn?
 * Remember, virtual homework may not be submitted for actual credit.

Geraldine Gupta

 * [on the phone] Gupta... mmhh... mmhh... mmhh. [hangs up] The Queen is coming - to Grove High School.
 * [the cheerleaders freak out when a baseball bounces their way] Oh, come on, girls! It's a ball, not a snake. Back in formation!

Nelson Davenport

 * Mia Thermopolis is the daughter of local eclectic artist, Helen Thermopolis. They currently live in a refurbished firehouse south of Market Street. Mia is also the only grandchild of Queen Clarisse Renaldi, whose husband, King Rupert, passed away last year. This is Nelson Davenport, KRLH.
 * No longer does Mia stand for missing in action, Genovia has a new princess!

Others

 * Helen Thermopolis: [first lines] Time for school! Stop daydreaming, you'll be late for school.
 * Paolo Puttanesca: I love your eyebrows. We'll call them Frida and Kahlo. If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx, their child would have your eyebrows.
 * Suki Sanchez: It was just last night that San Francisco's own little princess partied at the beach. But what started out as innocent fun, soon turned into allegedly, too much fun. This is Suki Sanchez for KPFW.
 * Philippe Renaldi (Mia's late father): [from his letter to Mia for her 16th birthday] "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey."

Dialogue

 * Mia: Good morning, Mrs. Gupta.
 * Geraldine Gupta: (Looks at Lily) Morning, Lily. (Looks at Mia) ...Lily's friend.

 * Clarisse: (upon first seeing Mia) You look so... young.
 * Mia: Uh, thank you. And you look so... (Clarisse raises her eyebrows) clean.

 * Mia: Now, what did you want to tell me?
 * Clarisse Renaldi: Something that, I think, will have a very big impact upon your life.
 * Mia: I already had braces.
 * Clarisse Renaldi: No, it's bigger than orthodontia.

 * Clarisse Renaldi: Helen, if Amelia refuses to accept the throne, then Genovia will cease to exist as we know it.
 * Helen Thermopolis: So the future of your country is in the hands of my 15-year-old?

 * Mia: [sees Clarisse in her house] Oh, this is a nightmare! I'm going back to bed! [starts to walk out]
 * Helen Thermopolis: [desperately] Mia, the-the three of us have to talk.
 * Mia: [bitterly] Oh, OK. Um, is there maybe something else about me and my life that just maybe I might want to know about? Um-oh no, are you two waiting to take me on a talk show somewhere and to let me know I have a twin sister who's a duchess?
 * Clarisse Renaldi: You have a cousin who's a contessa. Fondly known as Bartholomew. Actually, we call him Pookie.

 * [Mia storms out in the middle of their conversation to the attic]
 * Clarisse: Where is she going?
 * Helen: The tower. [runs after Mia] Mia, you can't run away from everything!
 * Clarisse: [to herself] She has a tower?

 * Helen Thermopolis: This is getting us nowhere! Talk to me!
 * Mia: I can't talk to you right now. I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.
 * Clarisse Renaldi: I'm late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal!

 * Mia: Joe, can you drop us off a block from the school? I don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.
 * Joe: This is a non-riot hearse. If it were a hearse, there would be silence in the backseat.

 * Mia: I can't do this, I'm a girl!
 * Anita Harbula: What am I, a duck?

 * Mia: Hey, Joe?
 * Joe: Mm-hmmm?
 * Mia: I'm gonna turn the backseat into a dressing room so I can change into a proper outfit for Madame, OK?
 * Joe: OK. And don't forget your shoes. [hands Mia her new shoes]
 * Mia: Ahh, thanks.
 * Joe: Strange town, San Francisco. When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped or if I was going to wear them.

 * [Joe is teaching Mia how to dance.]
 * Joe: This is between a waltz and a tango.
 * Mia: It's a wango?

 * [During Mia's makeover, Paolo takes off her glasses]
 * Paolo: Do you wear contact lenses?
 * Mia: Well, I have them, but I don't like to wear them that much.
 * Paolo: [breaks Mia's glasses in half] Now you do!
 * Mia: [in shock] You broke my glasses!
 * Paolo: You broke my brush.

 * [after giving Mia a makeover]
 * Paolo: [to Queen Clarisse] Your Majesty, Paolo is exhausted. [points at two pictures of Mia] Because your majesty, only Paolo can take this and this, and give you...
 * Gretchen and Helga: A princess. [they moved the pictures to reveal a pampered Mia]

 * Joe: Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
 * Mia: Eleanor Roosevelt said that.
 * Joe: Ah, yes. Another special lady like yourself.

 * Clarisse Renaldi: [after Mia, Prime Minister Motaz, and Sheila Motaz make a scene from eating the ice cream too quickly] Have you ever experienced that instant headache when you eat ice too quickly?
 * Emperor Sakamoto: [briefly shakes his head] No.

 * [After Mia accidently runs into a trolley with her car]
 * Nun #1: [on her cell phone] 911, I'd like to report an accident... They put me on hold!
 * Nun #2: Oh, for the love of God!

 * Mia: [on her green bathing suit] Okay I look like an asparagus.
 * Helen Thermopolis: But a very, very cute asparagus!

 * Clarisse Renaldi: Do we have any problems?
 * Charlotte Kutaway: [overenthusiastically] No, everything's perfect. Perfect. It's wonderful.
 * Clarisse Renaldi: You're not very good at lying, Charlotte.
 * Charlotte Kutaway: No, I'm not, your Majesty.

 * Michael: Why me?
 * Mia: Because you saw me when I was invisible.

Cast

 * Julie Andrews as Clarisse Renaldi, Mia's grandmother and reigning Queen of Genovia
 * Anne Hathaway as Mia Thermopolis, heir to the throne and Princess of Genovia
 * Héctor Elizondo as Joe, Clarisse's head of security and Mia's limousine driver
 * Heather Matarazzo as Lilly Moscovitz, Mia's eccentric and socially conscious childhood best friend
 * Robert Schwartzman as Michael Moscovitz, Lilly's older brother who harbors romantic feelings for Mia
 * Mandy Moore as Lana Thomas, a popular cheerleader who bullies Mia and other students
 * Caroline Goodall as Helen Thermopolis, Mia's mother; an artist
 * Erik von Detten as Josh Bryant, a popular, egotistical student on whom Mia develops a crush
 * Patrick Flueger as Jeremiah Hart, a friend of Mia and Lilly's; an aspiring magician
 * Sean O'Bryan as Patrick O'Connell, Mia's English teacher who begins to date Helen
 * Sandra Oh as Geraldine Gupta, vice principal of Mia's school
 * Kathleen Marshall as Charlotte Kutaway, Clarisse's secretary
 * Mindy Burbano as Anita Harbula, Mia's gym teacher
 * René Auberjonois as the voice of Philippe Renaldi, Mia's late father and former Prince of Genovia
 * Gerald Hathaway, Hathaway's father, portrays Philippe in photographs and flashbacks

 * Larry Miller as Paolo Puttanesca, Mia's hairdresser and beautician
 * Patrick Richwood as Mr. Robutusen, Mia's neighbor; a writer
 * Mayor Willie Brown as himself
 * Fat Louie as himself, Mia's cat

Taglines

 * She rocks. She rules. She reigns.
 * From the director of Pretty Woman and Runaway Bride
 * For every girl who's never dreamed of being a princess

title: The Princess Diaries


text: User talk:63.163.57.36

title: User talk:63.163.57.36


text:
User talk:70.242.7.194

—Jeremy Hanson 29 June 2005 20:09 (UTC)

title: User talk:70.242.7.194


text:
User talk:212.56.120.244

HEHE  —Jeremy Hanson  29 June 2005 20:14 (UTC)

title: User talk:212.56.120.244


text:
User:Labradormetal2

see Labradormetal (I wasn't very creative with the second name!)

title: User:Labradormetal2


text:
User talk:172.128.68.230

Welcome to Wikiquote, the free compendium of quotations! You don't have to log in to read or edit articles on Wikiquote, but creating an account is quick, free and non-intrusive, requires you to provide no personal information, and gives you many benefits, including:
 * The use of a username of your choice
 * The ability to view all your contributions via a "My contributions" link
 * Your own user page
 * Your own talk page which, if you choose, also allows users to send you messages without knowing your e-mail address
 * The use of your own personal watchlist to which you can add articles that interest you
 * The ability to rename pages
 * The ability to upload images
 * The ability to customize the appearance and behavior of the website
 * The eligibility to become an administrator
 * The right to be heard in formal votes and elections, and on pages like votes for deletion

Click here to create an account.--Aphaia 29 June 2005 23:14 (UTC)

title: User talk:172.128.68.230


text:
User talk:81.135.33.108

Welcome to Wikiquote, the free compendium of quotations! You don't have to log in to read or edit articles on Wikiquote, but creating an account is quick, free and non-intrusive, requires you to provide no personal information, and gives you many benefits, including:
 * The use of a username of your choice
 * The ability to view all your contributions via a "My contributions" link
 * Your own user page
 * Your own talk page which, if you choose, also allows users to send you messages without knowing your e-mail address
 * The use of your own personal watchlist to which you can add articles that interest you
 * The ability to rename pages
 * The ability to upload images
 * The ability to customize the appearance and behavior of the website
 * The eligibility to become an administrator
 * The right to be heard in formal votes and elections, and on pages like votes for deletion

Click here to create an account.--Aphaia 29 June 2005 23:18 (UTC)

title: User talk:81.135.33.108


text:
Taylor Caldwell

Janet Miriam Holland Taylor Caldwell (September 7, 1900 – August 30, 1985) was an Anglo-American novelist and author of popular fiction, also known by the pen names Marcus Holland and Max Reiner, and by her married name of J. Miriam Reback.

1950s

 * You see, when a nation threatens another nation the people of the latter forget their factionalism, their local antagonisms, their political differences, their suspicions of each other, their religious hostilities, and band together as one unit. Leaders know that, and that is why so many of them whip up wars during periods of national crisis, or when the people become discontented and angry. The leaders stigmatize the enemy with every vice they can think of, every evil and human depravity. They stimulate their people’s natural fear of all other men by channeling it into a defined fear of just certain men, or nations. Attacking another nation, then, acts as a sort of catharsis, temporarily, on men’s fear of their immediate neighbors. This is the explanation of all wars, all racial and religious hatreds, all massacres, and all attempts at genocide.
 * The Devil's Advocate (1952)

 * A wise man distrusts his neighbor. A wiser man distrusts both his neighbor and himself. The wisest man of all distrusts his government.
 * The Devil's Advocate (1952)

 * I am the only major best-selling novelist in the United States who is not tainted by "liberalism" and Communism, and who has never belonged to a Communist front. As a result, the press, which is mainly "liberal", has been furiously attacking me for years in their alleged "reviews."... In our bitterness, we are beginning to wonder what protection an antiCommunist has in the United States now, had we been Communists we'd have had the enthusiastic support of the press and would now be very wealthy, for, as liberal writers told me in New York, with contempt, that had we been "liberals" we'd not have had to pay any taxes, or only token payments.
 * Letter to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (1957)

 * Learning … should be a joy and full of excitement. It is life's greatest adventure; it is an illustrated excursion into the minds of noble and learned men, not a conducted tour through a jail. So its surroundings should be as gracious as possible, to complement it.
 * The Sound of Thunder (1957) Pt. I, Ch. 9

 * It is a stern fact of history that no nation that rushed to the abyss ever turned back. Not ever, in the long history of the world. We are now on the edge of the abyss. Can we, for the first time in history, turn back? It is up to you.
 * "Honoria" (1957); republished in The New American, Vol. 19, No. 20, (6 October 2003)

Yet he became one of the greatest of the Apostles. Like Saul of Tarsus, later to be known as Paul, the Apostle to the Gentiles, he believed that Our Lord came not only to the Jews but to the Gentiles, also. He had much in common with Paul, because Paul too had never seen the Christ. Each had had an individual revelation. These two men had difficulty with the original Apostles because the latter stubbornly believed for a considerable time that Our Lord was incarnated, and died, only for the salvation of the Jews, even after Pentecost. Why has St. Luke always obsessed me, and why have I always loved him from childhood? I do not know. I can only quote Friedrich Nietzsche on this matter: "One hears — one does not seek; one does not ask who gives — I have never had any choice about it."
 * From my early childhood Lucanus, or Luke, the great Apostle, has obsessed my mind. He was the only Apostle who was not a Jew. He never saw Christ. All that is written in his eloquent but restrained Gospel he acquired from hearsay, from witnesses, from the Mother of Christ, from disciples, and from the Apostles. His first visit to Israel took place almost a year after the Crucifixion.
 * "Why has St. Luke always obsessed me?", Foreword to Dear and Glorious Physician: A Novel About Saint Luke (1959)

1960s

 * Antonius [i. e., C. Antonius Hybrida] heartily agreed with him [i. e., M. Tullius Cicero] that the budget should be balanced, that the Treasury should be refilled, that public debt should be reduced, that the arrogance of the generals should be tempered and controlled, that assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt, that the mobs should be forced to work and not depend on government for subsistence, and that prudence and frugality should be put into practice as soon as possible.
 * A Pillar of Iron (1965), p. 483 of the 1965 edition published by Doubleday (Garden City, NY), and p. 371 (in chapter 51) of the 1966 British edition from Collins (London). The passage, as written or in shortened or modified form, has sometimes been misattributed to M. Tullius Cicero himself. Its origin and history of misquotation have been discussed at Quote Investigator and Snopes.

 * There can be help. There's always God," said Amy. "I'm ashamed. I'd forgotten about Him.” She was quiet for a time. When she lifted her head she looked older and resolute. “Don’t blame yourself too much, Cousin Caroline,” she said. “That’s as bad as taking no blame at all. I’m not going to blame everything on Ames; I was a little fool myself. I was old enough to know that things aren’t simple.
 * A Prologue to Love (1961)

In the book of Job Lucifer always presents himself before the Lord as “one of the sons of God,” and implies that he is not God’s enemy but man’s, and that he is the prosecutor of man before God, the witness to his crimes, the denouncer who demands the extreme punishment of eternal death for the blasphemy of man’s existence. Man’s little imagination has presented him in horrific apparitions, some of them absurd and jejune, horned and hoofed, yet he was the greatest, most powerful and most resplendent of the archangels and is still an archangel. To denigrate him as a ridiculous figure, and ugly and paltry, is wrong, and does a disservice to God Who can create nothing ugly — only man can do that — and in the belittling of Lucifer there is a great danger. Evil is nothing to belittle, nor the anguish of Evil. Lucifer, as the Holy Bible states, is Prince of this World, and certainly he cannot be as hideous as the other self-proclaimed “princes” we have seen in this century, and in past centuries. And his power is only a little less than the power of the Almighty, and has its expression only in Man.
 * The ancient traditions entertain the possibility of the eventual remorse of the spirit of Evil and its reconciliation with God. Who is to say?
 * Dialouges with the Devil (1967), Foreward

 * "Childish raptures! said Lucifer, with scorn, his eyes flashing like lightning. "Are we indeed whimpering and craven children, or slaves? Can we be content with toys and little deliciousnesses? Are we not mind, as well as emotion? And is not the mind, of both angel and man, the noblest of possessions, and worth exercising. It is in our minds that we approach the closest of Him, Who is all Mind. Mind is the creator of all philosophy, all order, all beauty, all satisfaction, but emotion is the lowliest of the virtues, if it is a virtue at all. Mind has in it the capacity to know all things, or, at least, the minds of angels."
 * Dialouges with the Devil (1967)

1970s-

 * The American insanity for Loving Everybody is ruining my good temper and delivering my stomach to enormous bouts with acidity.
 * On Growing Up Tough, "Dolts and Love Cultists" (1971)

In reality.... the nature of human beings never changes; it is immutable. The present generation of children and the present generation of young adults from the age of thirteen to eighteen is, therefore, no different from that of their great-great-grandparents. Political fads come and go; theories rise and fall; the scientific ‘truth’ of today becomes the discarded error of tomorrow. Man’s ideas change, but not his inherent nature. That remains. So, if the children are monstrous today – even criminal – it is not because their natures have become polluted, but because they have not been taught better, nor disciplined.
 * We, perhaps, have corrupted our children and our grandchildren by heedless affluence, by a lack of manliness, by giving the younger generation more money and liberty than their youth can handle, by indoctrinating them with sinister ideologies and false values, by permitting them, as young children, to indulge themselves in imprudence to superiors and defiance of duly constituted authority, by lack of prudent, swift punishment when the transgressed, by coddling and pampering them when they were children and protecting them from a very dangerous world — which always was and always will be. We gave them no moral arms, no spiritual armor.
 * On Growing Up Tough (1970), "The Purple Lodge & The Hippies"

 * There is no solid satisfaction in any career for a woman like myself. There is no home, no true freedom, no hope, no joy, no expectation for tomorrow, no contentment. I would rather cook a meal for a man and bring him his slippers and feel myself in the protection of his arms than have all the citations and awards and honors I have received worldwide, including the Ribbon of Legion of Honor and my property and my bank accounts. They mean nothing to me. And I am only one among the millions of sad women like myself.
 * Ask Them Yourself

 * The Liberation Ladies will lead to generations of women willing to support a tired husband, and provide for his old age. He can be snug-abed in the morning while she pounds off in her thick boots to her job or carries a briefcase to her office. And when she comes home at night - she can cook his dinner, too, and wash and iron his shirts. She can do the housework, while he watches TV and complains of the pain in his back - which she will eventually rub away at bedtime. Women wanted careers, didn't they? They can do a man’s work, can't they? Well, let 'em do it, and be glad they were able to get a husband besides, even if they have to take care of him! Men, in short, are licking their lips and, for the first time in history, are readying themselves to be the exploiters in their turn…. Mom's out there, plugging and 'fulfilling' herself, and why should Pop worry? He's had it coming to him since Eve....
 * "They're Spoiling Eve's Great Con Game" in American Opinion (September 1970), p. 6

 * Do not believe for an instant that the world's conspiring elite in every nation have so much as a serious quarrel among them. They have just one object: control through tribute. Your slavery, through tribute, and mine... Behind this attack are the self-styled elite, secure in their own power and riches... To be effective we must direct our attacks on the real criminals, the wealthy, and powerful and secret elite of all the world - the conspirators laboring day and night to enslave us.
 * Captains and the Kings (1974)

 * I shudder at the very thought of being born again into this world. Life to me . . . has been a monstrous, painful, agonizing affair, and the idea of repeating such an existence — even if better in a way — is horrifying to me. . . . I gratefully look forward to oblivion, but I must be sure of it.
 * "The Search for a Soul" by Jess Stearn

 * „…there will be no peace in the tormented world, only a programmed and systematic series of wars and calamities—until the plotters have gained their objective: an exhausted world willing to submit to a planned Marxist economy and total and meek enslavement— in the name of peace.”
 * "Ceremony of the Innocent: A novel", first edition Doubleday, 1976, p. 218

The Captains, the Kings, and Taylor Caldwell (1978)

 * Quotations of Caldwell from a 1978 interview, published as "The Captains, the Kings, and Taylor Caldwell" by George F. Smith in Writer’s Yearbook 1980

'''Writing — I exist only for that. It’s the most important thing in my life.''' It’s not apart from me. I have no other interests, except cooking. I don’t belong to any organizations, clubs — I don’t go to lunches. This is my life, the most important thing — far more important than anything else I do. It has to be that way, otherwise you’re just a hobbyist. Now, a painter needs only to know the technique of his painting, and he has to have a tremendous emotional response to it. Musicians, sculptors — the same way. But they don’t have to know about everything. A writer does.
 * About half of my published novels were written before I was published. So I didn’t write a book every two years, as some people think.

 * Writing isn’t fun. It’s the hardest work in the world. The very, very hardest. I mean creative writing. If it’s reportorial, it’s a different thing. When you have to create a whole milieu, with characters and background, that’s a different thing entirely. … Oh, you start out all enthusiastic. But after two or three chapters it becomes plain drudgery. I worked about ten hours the other night just on correcting and rewriting, because what you write originally is just a shadow of what you had in mind.

 * This world’s brought me very little joy, very little satisfaction. It’s brought me nothing but tragedy from the time I was born. I regret every day I live. The human situation is not as unique as you think it is. We’re all the same. We all get kicked in the pants, we all have our moments of elation — though not much happiness. Happiness is a child’s word. There may be short periods of contentment, but very short. Life is mostly disappointment, tragedy, loss and failure.

 * I don’t know how I’ve survived the onslaughts of the government. It almost makes me believe in the Deity. I’m a Catholic, but I’m a Catholic-atheist, because the tragedies in life have overwhelmed me.

 * You’ve got to look at life clearly. No rose-colored glasses. The human race is not very admirable. It was a big mistake of God’s . . . The more I see of people, the more bitter I become. I think I appeal to readers because there’s nothing false or hypocritical in what I write. And they recognize themselves, and recognize their fears. And they know what bastards they are.

 * I don’t like women. I never did. That’s why I don’t belong to women’s lib. Most of my relatives were male. Women are the inferior sex. There’s no doubt about it — women are the inferior sex, in every way. There’s never been any woman genius — never. With all the opportunity in the world — all the leisure in the world, all the shelter — if women had any genius, it would’ve come out. It never did. There’s been no woman Michelangelo, or Beethoven, or Mozart.

 * To eliminate sex from a book is to eliminate the great creative force in the world. Out of the sexual instinct rises all the art, you know. … No eunuch ever wrote a book.

So God said to Satan, “Do anything you want with him, but spare his life.” And so he was afflicted. His children deserted him — he lost everything. He was reduced to sackcloth and ashes. Even his wife said, “Curse God and die.” But he didn’t. But he did rebuke God. He said, “I’ve lived a devout life. Worshipped You. I was just to my fellow man. Accomplished all I could in Your name. Look what’s happened.” And God answered him, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the world? Where were you when I created the galaxies and the universes? Answer as a man! Gird up your loins and answer as a man!” That’s the subject of my next book.
 * I read the book of Job over and over. Poor Job. He was afflicted. According to the Bible, he was a just man. But Satan said, “You put your finger on him, and injure him, and he won’t be such a just, devout man.”

 * I was talking to a woman last night. I said, “I’m not like other people.” She started to giggle. Then I raised my voice and said evenly, “That’s one blessing God gave writers — they’re not like other people!”

Quotes about Caldwell

 * Known for strong and sometimes controversial opinions, much like her characters, Miss Caldwell once said that she approved of Dumas's admonition to "Fight someone every day, but never fight unimportant people."
 * Edwin McDowell, in "Behind the Best Sellers; TAYLOR CALDWELL" in The New York Times (11 January 1981)

These sounds were promptly drowned, however, in the chorus of protest that attended publication of such works as Captains and the Kings, which purported to connect the French Revolution, the Civil War, the Spanish-American War, the New Deal and the Kennedy family assassinations as an ongoing "plot" hatched and moved forward by a consortium of bankers, industrialists and international financiers. Not all the reaction was hostile, of course: Taylor Caldwell became a policy board member of the extreme right wing Liberty Lobby and the darling of the John Birch Society, which honored her with a plaque as a great "American Patriot and Scholar."
 * Originally perceived as a feminist (after the gender of "Taylor Caldwell" became known) the Buffalo author provoked screams of distaff outrage with her repeated public proclamations that a woman's place "is in the kitchen and the bedroom."
 * Ted Thackrey Jr. in "Taylor Caldwell, Controversial but Popular Novelist, Dies" in The Los Angeles Times (2 September 1985)

 * Several years ago, Taylor Caldwell invited the Duchess of Windsor for a luncheon with fifteen others. The Duchess' secretary phoned Miss Caldwell to ask what transportation was being used, and Taylor Caldwell replied, "her husband would drive over to pick up the Duchess". The secretary replied, "I'm sorry, Miss Caldwell, your husband is Jewish and the Duchess does not mix socially with Jews". Taylor Caldwell then exploded, "Tell the Duchess, I am Dutch Protestant and I don't mix socially with prostitutes."
 * Walter Winchell, as quoted in "No Eunuch Ever Wrote a Book" in The Quarterly Review (Summer 2012)

title: Taylor Caldwell


text:
User talk:Jaycey~enwikiquote

--Aphaia 29 June 2005 23:56 (UTC)

 * Thanks for tidying that up - I was hoping someone would! :-)  Jaycey 30 June 2005 11:47 (UTC)

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Jaycey. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Jaycey~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:27, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:49, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Jaycey~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Ndc~enwikiquote

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Ndc. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Ndc~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:30, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:53, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Ndc~enwikiquote


text:
User:Tobycat

Greetings!
My name is Michael Santos and I live in San Jose, California. I hold a Ph.D. in social psychology and have taught at UC Santa Cruz, Santa Clara University, and UC Berkeley. I currently work for Apple Computer managing customer feedback research.

title: User:Tobycat


text:
User talk:Tobycat

--Aphaia 30 June 2005 00:23 (UTC)

title: User talk:Tobycat


text:
Kaliopate Tavola

Kaliopate Tavola has been Fiji's Foreign Minister since 2000.

Quotes

 * Democracy is a means of achieving a higher level of individual and collective gratification, welfare, peace, stability and prosperity. It is not an end in itself! Practitioners of democracy in the Pacific should therefore be pragmatic in their approach. An idealistic and a purist approach is, I believe, misplaced.
 * (Speech delivered to the 33rd Pacific Pacific Islands Forum, 15 August 2002, Nadi, Fiji) - excerpts.

title: Kaliopate Tavola