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Destroy All Humans! 2

Destroy All Humans! 2 is a game created by Pandemic and the sequel to Destroy All Humans!.

Cryptosporidium

 * Well, thanks, "Freak". I'm off to go find Coyote Bongwater... can't believe I just said that.
 * Cryptography? That's practically my middle name! Well, my only name.
 * Attention, Blisk: I am Cryptosporidium of the Planet Furon. This planet is now a territory of the Furon Empire, and your asses belong to ME!
 * [seeing Natalya for the first time] Whoa... I've had wet dreams that weren't this good...
 * Prison island? You mean, the KGB are holed up in Australia?
 * [coughs] What was all that about? Uh, my freakin' head... this gas is noxious, smells like Pox's underwear... Don't ask me how I know that.
 * My name is Luke... Crypto, and I'm here to rescue you.
 * This will be the greatest thing in your life since you found out that boil on your butt was just a marshmallow.
 * The sensor cell connects to the focal plane; the focal plane connects to the plasma beam... I know you're waitin' for me to sing that damn song. Well, I ain't doin' it. I've got standards; they may not be high, but I've got 'em. Also, we couldn't get the rights.
 * Brings a freakin' tear to my eye.
 * Put this in your bong and smoke it!
 * I'm a freakin' supernova!
 * What? Park full of potheads and none of you ever had erectile dysfunction? [no response] Last time I open up to you people...
 * Yippee-ki-yay, Mother Russia.
 * [if Crypto isn't able to use certain abilities on certain people or objects] I need an upgrade from the Gene Blender.
 * [while battling Kojira Kaiju] DIE, YOU OVERGROWN LIZARD-MONKEY!
 * [while battling Kojira Kaiju] Oh, sure, giant lady-lizard grows a new femur anytime she destroys something, while Crypto has to go and drain vehicles like a sissy!  Game designers.... sheesh.
 * [while battling Kojira Kaiju] Old Kojira was hoppin' around Takoshima City like a big playground... gets stuck in my head every time... [reference to The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny song]
 * Ponsonby was right about one thing: everybody cracks.
 * Takoshima. Oriental setting. And the city don't know what the city is getting.
 * Feel the earth move under your feet! Castle Kuro's tumblin' down!
 * [convincing the White Ninjas to worship Arkvoodle] Now go forth and multiply-- I mean, serve! Which, in this case, is the same thing...
 * [trying to act "charming" in Moon Base Solaris] Hello, Solaris! Hello, Solaris! Is this a great-looking crowd or what? Seriously, don't drop the soap in the shower, fellas!

Orthopox

 * I shall continue my repairs on the saucer, and then I shall... I don't know, order a virtual pizza or something. Brains, I hate this.
 * Crypto! You found all the Nexus Crystals! And I owe Gastro a fiver.
 * Crypto, If you can hear me, meet me in the park. It seems that treacherous human's damaged some of your equipment. No, I'm not referring your new "package"!
 * Oh, sure, point out that I'm dead again. It just gets funnier every 50th time you do it, doesn't it?
 * Ah, Albion, where the sun never sets and the natives never floss.
 * The saucer's sensor is picking up significant radiation levels all around you, Crypto. Either Gastro's gout is acting up, or there must be fuel rods nearby.
 * That cinches it, Crypto! You've destroyed the Blisk Base! I've half a mind to put you up for a medal - but only half.
 * Never heard of... I'm Orthopox 13 man! The Orthopox 13! Conqueror of Zargon 5? Hero of the battle of Tharsis Mons? Winner of the Xanthrax-47 mental cruelty award six years running? I'm the second most senior fleet commander in the entire Furon Navy! I was enslaving hyper-dimensional insectoids in the dunghills of Beedleblat when you were still in short pants! And you've never heard of me?
 * ... Yes I did, Crypto, but that won't help. Albion is full of tunnels, pipes, and excavations galore. It's like a moldy sponge, built atop noxious Swiss cheese.
 * Just in time, Crypto! Bongwater has launched his ships at the city! You must stop them from polluting the air with Revelade! I'll be monitoring the level of Revelade in the atmosphere. But you'd better destroy those blimps quickly, Crypto, because if the Revelade level reaches 100% saturation, our Bay City brain farm will be turned into a useless den of unmotivated degenerates sitting in front of their TV screens, twiddling their thumbs... Ahem!
 * [as Kojira looms over him] Don't crush me! DON'T CRUSH ME! Oh brains! My lives are flashing before my eyes! KILL IT, CRYPTO! KILL IT!
 * It doesn't make any sense! Every time Kojira destroys a building, her health regenerates! It's an cultural CATASTROPHE! Destroy them before she has a chance to!
 * [during final battle; Milenkov has become an armoured Blisk] Brains! Milenkov must have a recharging unit somewhere on his body - but where?! Damn you, Blisk Anatomy 101!
 * Of course! Crypto, Milenkov's recharging unit IS his armour! Take out those plates and he'll become vulnerable! And also... naked. Brace yourself for the horror...

Ponsonby

 * Reginald Ponsonby Smythe, at your service and Her Majesty's. Although in her case, the service is secret.

 * The sun has not set on this Empire! It's just... gone behind a cloud or something...

 * And now for something... completely different.

 * For Majestic! For Silhouette!

 * Silhoutte was the only woman I'll ever love! Good job I've still got the men, though.

 * [after drugging Crypto] Lower life-forms, when will they ever learn?

Natalya

 * Nice teeth, you want to keep them? Then go away.

 * Crypto is sweet... well he's not sweet, but he's kind. Okay, he's not kind, but he's cute... in a mutated rodent sort of way.

 * Sergei is the kind of guy you date, not the kind you marry. And Crypto's not even the type you date. Actually, Crypto's not even a man.

 * How could you, Stalin?! You fed us lies and murdered millions! Cute moustache, though.

 * Blin, I hate being "naked"... and by being "naked," of course, I mean "operating without backup or cover." Get your mind out of the gutter!

 * You think it is easy being a female superspy? Try finding maxi-pads at two in the morning in Minsk! I'd like to see James Bond pull THAT one off...

 * Looks like I got here just in time. Now come on, spaceman, move your ass!

 * I have four knives concealed on my body and I'm lethal with all of them. Concentrate!

 * Crypto, I like you, but I will neuter you if I have to.

 * All right, spaceman, you line them up, I'll knock them down.

 * Crypto, I was the best shot in my class and I once fought my way out of an East German football riot wearing a West German jersey. I'm not a sidekick. No offense taken.

Arkvoodle

 * The desecration of this land offends my all-seeing eye! Rid the vicinity of human-made refuse! Thus spake Arkvoodle! [after area is cleared] Sacred son of Arkvoodle, thou hast pleased me well! For thy service, I grant thee some serious swag: landing zone activated!

 * The glory of Arkvoodle grows from the highest state of chaotic fecundity! When the ring turns orange and the population's nerves are frayed, then shall the ground be fit to sow, and the masses shall follow! Thus spake Arkvoodle! Bow-chicka-bow-down!

 * From the ashes of terror and destruction, Arkvoodle is reborn to spread the good pick-up line of erotic satiation! Go, son of Arkvoodle! Take the Sacred Crotch to the masses!

 * Arkvoodle requires slaves! Female slaves! Preferably buxom and scantily clad. By the Sacred Genitalia, heed the word of Arkvoodle! [when female humans are brought] These females are "fly" and "off the hook"! Landing zone activated!

 * Bring me humans, alive and squirming, that I may suck up their lifeforce like Voltarian linquilipedes... in spicy solar clam sauce, mmm! Arkvoodle has spoken! [when brought humans] My omnivorous hunger is sated! Landing zone activated! It rhymes! I'm a poet and I know it not!

 * The humans have offended me! Therefore probe them in their nether regions, to teach them discipline! Arkvoodle the High and Mighty commands thee! [after Crypto does so] The humans have been probed! ... And there was much titillation! Landing zone activated!

 * It is written in the Book of Divine Fabrications that "the Great God of the Sacred Crotch was not made and cannot be unmade! Arkvoodle is, always was, and always will be!" And for once, they got it right. Fire at my idol with your Disintegrator Ray! I'll show you. [after idol is shot] Told you. Nonetheless, I shall unlock the landing zone. Thanks for playing.

 * It is written in the Book of Divine Fabrications that "only a white warrior with the soul of a Furon can strike the face of Arkvoodle and restore balance to the Force!" Or some such nonsense. Anyhow, bring me a white ninja.

 * I've been keeping hold of this alien predator for eons, trapped deep within, suspended in time... Why? Well, frankly, it snores, and the vibrations give me a tickle. But I'm just not in the mood right now. Take it away! [after obtaining the Burrow Beast datacore] Thank you, son of Arkvoodle. It was beginning to chafe. And thank you also for creating a cult in mine honour - being worshipped makes mine eternal gyroscopes oscillate, if you know what I meanest...

 * Son of Arkvoodle, I have a, err... hmm, how shall I say this? I have a "blockage". It's really most vexing; it pulses and throbs deep inside me! Oh, I mean, REALLY deep! All the way down, follow me? Hast thou any implement that might relieve this deep inner blockage? ... D'oh, brains! Do I have to draw you a map?! [after idol is shot with Anal Probe] Ohhhh, yeaaaaahhh... oh, that's good... Woo! Smooth sailing from here on out! Well done, my son!

 * Low voltage warning! My power is diminished! I must have the healing only a torrid rush of hyper-energized electrons can bring! [after idol is shot with Zap-O-Matic] I HAVE THE POWER! Landing zone activated!

 * All around thee, my son, lurk agents of destruction, dispatched on their fell mission by I know not whom. Could be Dodecalypse, that bastard's always screwing with me. In any case, bring me one of these "KGB agents", so I may look into its insidious heart and know the face of its master! [when brought KGB agent] Phew! It's dark in that heart! Well, sooner or later, the truth will let out. Landing zone activated!

 * Thou shalt render no images of false gods - especially ones which are more attractive than mine! Eliminate those idols! [after statues are destroyed] This idol threat has been eliminated! Heheheheh, I amuse mine own self. Landing zone activated!

 * Ooooh, big tough infidels with mighty implements with which to work the very rock of this tiny world. I am so impressed... NOT! Smash their monstrous contraptions!

 * Thou obviously canst not land if thy landing zone is bestrewnst with drums filledst with toxic waste...st! Get rid of those barrels!

 * I am the light! Thou shalt have no other light before me! Which means that lighthouse has to go!

Blisk

 * [if Crypto goes near one while possessing a human] You've got cojones! We'll give you that!

 * [if Crypto goes near one while possessing a human] Watch it! We just got the shell waxed!

 * [if Crypto strikes one with an explosive barrel of waste] Boiling is the preferred method, actually.

 * [if Crypto strikes one with an explosive barrel of waste] Deep-fried lobster tail!

 * [seeing Crypto kill a human] Deep-fried! Worst way to go...

 * [trying to lure out Crypto] We got cheerleaders...!

 * [when damaged by Crypto] OWIE!

 * If only people could get past the shell and see the real us... Err, nah, it's all pretty much ugly.

 * After thousands of years, revenge will taste oh so sweet! I could go for a jellybean too...

 * We came, we saw, and we're gonna kick your ass!

 * We have come to kick ass and chew humans!

 * We will rock you!

 * Furon bastard!

 * Claws, don't fail me now!

 * They love us in Halifax!

 * What did that human mean, "bottom-feeder"?

 * What did that human mean, "Thermidor"?

 * One more drawn butter joke, and we swear, we're out of here!

 * [hums organ line from "Rock Lobster"] There goes a narwhal! Whoa!

 * Lobsters ROCK!

Others

 * Gastro: Somebody need an ass-whoppin'?

 * Gastro: Go-Go Gastro!

 * Tunguska KGB: If I were an animal, I would be rabbit. Oh, and with an AK-47.

 * Tunguska KGB: [after Crypto picks him up] Well, it's better than Aeroflot.

 * KGB Agent: Inside, I am being hysterical.

 * KGB Agent: They have colours beside gray outside Soviet Union!

 * KGB Agent: Ah, Stalin - a nation of admiring workers gives you its thanks. Except for ones you killed...

 * KGB Agent: Damn you, Americans! You taunt me with your decadent fast food! Your colas, your delectable cheeseburgers, your onion rings with the zesty dipping sauces... eh... DAMN YOU!

 * Secret Agent: Quincy, Mortimer Quincy... Oh it still doesn't sound right.

 * White Ninja Leader: We will defend you to the death, oh Furon Lord, but first we must compose our death haikus.

 * White Ninja: Think this looks easy?/You try thinking in haiku./See how long you last!

 * White Ninja: See? You learn how to/Make haiku while you play game!/Now you try at home!

 * White Ninja: Does the walker choose/The path or path the walker?/Whoa, dude - that is deep.

 * White Ninja: Why must we wear white?/It stains so easily. Do/I look fat in this?

 * White Ninja: I liked the first game./I hope this one's just as good./And that I don't die.

 * White Ninja: Extras are so sad./No one thinks of us at all./We just want your love!

 * White Ninja: Dendrophiles are hot./Too bad I am not a tree./Then I would get some.

 * White Ninja: Salmon swim upstream/Until they spawn or they die./Fish sex must be great.

 * White Ninja: I am not teenaged,/Nor a mutant, nor turtle./Liked the comic, though.

 * White Ninja: Angelina J,/You're not even been born yet, but/I can hardly wait.

 * Black Ninja: Why think in haiku/When I speak in normal prose?/Better not to ask.

 * Black Ninja: What if we are all/Characters in video game?/Now my mind is blown!

 * Black Ninja: Ninjas and pirates/Always at each other's throats./Can we not be friends?

 * Black Ninja: AmiYumi girls/Have not even been born yet./Oh, my aching heart!

 * Bay City Urban Male: Damn druggies. Why can't they just abuse alcohol like the rest of us?

 * Bay City Urban Male: Wonder if my Nudist Monthly came in the mail today...

 * Bay City Urban Female: Burn my bra? And get all saggy?! Please!

 * Bay City Urban Female: What does Sue Storm do with her clothes?

 * Bay City Urban Female: Roger's never going to leave his wife - good thing I'm doing her too!

 * Bay City Urban Female: All right, I'm finally liberated! ... Now what?

 * Bay City Hippie: Man, what are you on? I want some!

 * Big City Hippie Girl: Sex, drugs, rock and roll... DO I HAVE TO PICK?!

 * Big City Hippie Girl: Newsflash, Brad: "sexual liberation" does NOT mean open season on grabbin' my ass!

 * Big City Hippie Girl: The kids? Eh, they're all right.

 * Big City Hippie Girl: I don't care what she says - I'm not letting Ruth Gordon take away MY demon baby!

 * Big City Hippie Girl: "The Adventures of Luke Starkiller"? Yeah, right! You keep dreaming, Georgie!

 * The Freak: I don't know his real name, but he calls himself, COYOTE BONGWATER! ... Which is pretty righteous.

 * Shama Llama: Hail Arkvoodle! Lord of the sacred crotch!

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Despite fact there is being no air, I am hearing something.

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Compared to Soviet Union, moon is looking like colorful paradise!

 * KGB Cosmonaut: From here, Earth is looking like... blue cheese!

 * Tunguska Soldier: Beating on proletariat is good job, but hours are murder. HA HA! HA HA!

 * Albion Policeman: Stop! Or I'll say... "stop" again.

 * Albion Policeman: Move! Or I'll say... "move" again!

 * Albion Square: [while dancing] Can you direct me to the Ministry of Silly Walks, please?

 * Albion Hippie Girl: I'm gonna be the first hooker elected Prime Minister! Unless Thatcher gets there first...

 * Albion Hippie: Little Green Americans! Little Green Americans!

 * Albion Square: An American! AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 * Russian Mafia Thug: Why is Russian mafia needing to kill innocent people? Our government is doing a good enough job with that already.

 * The Freak: I wonder if there really is life on other planets. I wonder if aliens really do walk among us. I wonder if an alien is reading my mind RIGHT NOW!

 * African-American Hippie: My favorite Jackson? Gotta be Michael. He's just so normal!

 * Agent Soychorski: Curse you, Furon! I am atheist, but on the off-chance hell exists, I will haunt you from beyond!

 * Yamanosuke Hirotaro:: Maybe I go to Hollywood, make martial arts movie about me and put black basketball star in it as bad guy. Nah! It would never work.

 * Russian Male Peasant: Supposedly, scientists are performing numerous nuclear experiments in town. I suppose it would explain why I am peeing green.

 * Russian Female Peasant: How come there are only two types of bras in Russia? Slovenly or femme fatale?

 * Russian Female Scientist: Is safe to be scientist - we are least expendable, no? Government would never harm great minds of society!

 * Russian Female Scientist: Against all probability, probability machine is functioning perfectly! Cat in box, on other hand, may be dead. Or not. Hard to say.

 * Russian Female Scientist: Einstein, Bohr, Asimov - male scientists get all glory! All women are getting is dead radiologist!

 * Russian Female Scientist: Someday, my prince will come... damn the Soviet mail system!

 * Russian Female Scientist: Lately have been feeling as though am just following script... as if am reading lines written for me by someone... eerie.

 * Russian Male Peasant: If Leninism, Trotskyism and Stalinism are all agreeing with Marxism... is this making them Marx Brothers?

 * Russian Male Peasant: Mind says Lenin, but body says Stalin. And shockingly, at heart I am being straight capitalist. Go figuring.

 * Russian Male Peasant: Why one never is seeing any children around? Is not as if workers can be affording contraception!

 * Russian Male Peasant: Am still finding difficult to be sitting... next time, must be putting pants on before lighting petrol.

 * The Freak: I am a fish... I am a fish... I AM A FISH!

 * KGB Cosmonaut: I am being scientist and I'm okay. I'm working all night and sleeping all day. (parody of Monty Python's Lumberjack Song)

 * Bay City Cop: Ah, the people I protect and serve... how I hate them so.

 * Bay City Army: I just joined the army to get money to go to college. No one said anything about killing people!

 * Albion Urban: I've had sex twice. Once in Eton with my roommate, and once with my wife on our honeymoon. Frankly, I don't see what all the fuss is about.

 * Black Ninja: [When PKed] Who will save Ninja?!

 * Yakuza: Mama say! Mama san! Ma Yakuza! (reference to Soul Makossa)

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Stupid Americans! Getting bogged down in a no-win situation in Vietnam! Russians will never be stupid enough to do that! I wonder how Afghanistan is this time of year?

 * Takoshima Cop: You think I’m coming after you? You crazy!

 * Takoshima Cop: You want bullet in ass?!

 * Takoshima Cop: [When PKed] Higher, Higher!

 * Takoshima Cop: [When PKed] Put cop down!

 * Takoshima Cop: What? Haven't you ever seen an Asian man pretend to be black before?

 * Black Ninja: Stop killing people! That's my job.

 * Yakuza: What? Why you stare? It just because I'm black?

 * Takoshima General: [if Crypto causes enough destruction to get to yellow alert level] Calling emperor's army!

 * Takoshima General: [if Crypto causes enough destruction to get to yellow alert level] Sending super warriors or army!

 * Takoshima General: [if Crypto causes enough destruction to get to yellow alert level] We need army! Do we still have one?!

 * Takoshima General: [during the Kojira Kaiju battle; he will say this rarely when you hit red alert level] GOJIRA! MONSTER!  AIIIIIEEEEYYAAAAA!

 * Black Ninja: Ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny!

 * Black Ninja: For great justice! (reference to the introduction scene in the game Zero Wing).

 * Black Ninja: Prepare yourself for death!

 * Black Ninja: You’ll die now, dragon!

 * Albion Female Hippie: Me mind says John; me body says Paul; me soul says George. So why do I always end up going home with Ringo?

 * Albion Male Urban: My mind says David Frost, but my body says Benny Hill.

 * Leonid: Oh God, how am I going to face them all? They're fed up with this place - and I can't blame them! We sold our principles to a race of... of GIANT SPACE CRABS FROM MARS! It's the oldest cliché in the book! Oh, I am not fit to be a Soviet hero...

 * Leonid: Pull yourself together, Leonid! Khrushchev always said, "The proletariat are like dogs; they can smell fear! Even in a vacuum, nyet?"

 * Japanese Male: Should I join White Ninja, or Black Ninja? On one hand, White Ninja are in glorious harmony with universe. On other hand, Black Ninja get to live on island north of Takoshima City. White Ninja get spiritual fulfillment. Black Ninja get paid. Black Ninja.

 * Japanese Male: Excuse me, may I kiss the sky!

 * Japanese Female: Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto... FOR NOTHING!

 * Japanese Female: Geisha should not have such bad reputation. They go down in history! In fact, they very good at going down! Haha! Zing!

 * Japanese Female: Why co-eds always wear such short skirts? Nothing sexy about prying thighs from frozen park bench!

 * Japanese Female: Husband pacifist! Never in army! So why he always say he "going commando"?

 * Japanese Female: I would like to continue affair with kamikaze pilot Hideki-san, but just feel like relationship has no future...

 * Japanese Schoolgirl: Best thing about being eighteen years old? I be this age forever!

 * Japanese Schoolgirl: Maybe tomorrow I will eat something. Naaaah...

 * Japanese Schoolgirl: Tomorrow I wearing pants, dammit!

 * Secret Agent: Is the world ready for a gay super spy? I didn't think so. Back in the closet, Double-Oh-Pooftah!

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Die, you Astro bastard!

 * African-American Hippie: Cracker.

 * African-American Hippie: Dead honky.

 * African-American Hippie: Yeah, it's big.

 * African-American Hippie: Honky.

Bay City

 * Officer Johnson: Police headquarters, Officer Johnson.
 * Crypto: Hey! Why the long face?
 * Officer Johnson: What?

 * Officer Johnson: Police headquarters, Officer Johnson.
 * Crypto: I'm lookin' for Mr. Jass, first name Hugh.
 * Officer Johnson: Please call back when you have an original joke, sir.

 * Officer Johnson: Police Headquarters, Officer Johnson.
 * Crypto: Do you deliver?
 * Officer Johnson: Yes, but there's a two dollar surcharge... wait, what?

 * Officer Johnson: Police Headquarters, Officer Johnson.
 * Crypto: Yeah, I want to put down fifty large on the Niners?
 * Officer Johnson: I can cover that, sir.

 * Officer Johnson: Police Headquarters, Officer Johnson.
 * Crypto: What are you wearing?
 * Officer Johnson: Black polyester, sir. And I'm going commando.

Albion

 * Albion Policeman: Scotland Yard here. State your emergency.
 * Crypto: Is your fridge running?
 * Albion Policeman: So YOU'RE the bastard who shut off our electricity!

 * Albion Police Officer: Scotland Yard here, state your emergency.
 * Crypto: When do you...get off?
 * Albion Police Officer: 5 PM on the dot everyday! And that's when I finish work too!

 * Albion Policeman: Scotland Yard here. State your emergency.
 * Crypto: Ever hear of someone called Sherlock Holmes?
 * Albion Policeman: Why, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! Good to hear from you!

 * Albion Policeman: Scotland Yard here. State your emergency.
 * Crypto: Inspector Freely, please?
 * Albion Policeman: There's no such officer here! And yes, I urinate with no obstructions whatsoever!

 * Albion Policeman: Scotland Yard here. State your emergency.
 * Crypto: May I speak to officer Michael Hunt?
 * Albion Policeman: What part of "T for Teen" don't you understand, sir?

Takoshima

 * Takoshima Police Woman: Moshi moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!
 * Crypto: How many Takoshimese does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 * Takoshima Police Woman: Silly prank caller, we use neon!

 * Takoshima Police Woman: Moshi moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!
 * Crypto: Do you like scary movies?
 * Takoshima Police Woman: Hai! You offering?

 * Takoshima Police Woman: Moshi moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!
 * Crypto: I can save you two dollars per minute on your international and long-distance calls!
 * Takoshima Police Woman: We already on calling plan, sorry.

 * Takoshima Police Woman: Moshi moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!
 * Crypto: Hello? Is this the Suicide Hotline? 'Cause I'm feelin' pretty incredibly depres-
 * Takoshima Police Woman: Please hold.

 * Takoshima Police Woman: Moshi moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!
 * Crypto: [sound of heavy breathing]
 * Takoshima Police Woman: Boyfriend-san! Not while I at work! You make me have to take special trip to ladies' room!

Tunguska

 * Tunguska KGB Officer: KGB Headquarters. How may I directing your call?
 * Crypto: I'm looking for Schlodovodowisic Smirnoff.
 * Tunguska KGB Officer: He is not being here, may I be taking message?

 * Tunguska KGB Officer: KGB Headquarters. How may I directing your call?
 * Crypto: Hey, is your fridge running?
 * Tunguska KGB Officer: What is being fridge?

 * Tunguska KGB Officer: KGB Headquarters. How may I directing your call?
 * Crypto: Hey! I'm the guy you're looking for!
 * Tunguska KGB Officer: You are being such jerk, Ivan.

 * Tunguska KGB Officer: KGB Headquarters. How may I directing your call?
 * Crypto: Yeah, can I talk to Agent Meeov, first name Jack?
 * Tunguska KGB Officer: I am not knowing. Are you having lotion around?

 * Tunguska KGB Officer: KGB Headquarters. How may I directing your call?
 * Crypto: Is this information?
 * Tunguska KGB Officer: No this is disinformation. Please hold, I connect you.

Solaris

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Secret Soviet Moonbase Solaris!
 * Crypto: COME QUICK! THERE'S SOME AMERICAN WACKO PLAYING GOLF ON THE MOON!
 * KGB Cosmonaut: Da - be pulling other one.

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Secret Soviet Moonbase Solaris!
 * Crypto: D'ja hear about the phone that worked on the moon, despite the fact there's no air?
 * KGB Cosmonaut: Shut upski.

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Secret Soviet Moonbase Solaris!
 * Crypto: Is your biodome runnin'?
 * KGB Cosmonaut: I am hearing this joke before...

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Secret Soviet Moonbase Solaris!
 * Crypto: Yeah, I ordered a pizza, like, seven million years ago!
 * KGB Cosmonaut: Is being on way comrade, driver is just leaving.

 * KGB Cosmonaut: Secret Soviet Moonbase Solaris!
 * Crypto: Yeah, can I speak to comrade Meeov, first name Jack?
 * KGB Cosmonaut: You are thinking I'm falling for that one?

Dialogue

 * Oranchov: Premier comrade Milenkov, comrade agents, thank you for coming. Here's what we know so far. [a slide show displaying the first game's events and its aftermath is shown] Ten years ago, the United States government covered up an invasion by an alien race known as Furons. Their primary agent was this Furon: Cryptosporidium-137; dangerous, unpredictable, and now deceased.
 * Milenkov: So, what is being problem?
 * Oranchov: The problem, comrade, is that Furons can clone themselves and pose convincingly as humans, and they've used these abilities to put Cryptosporidium-138 into the White House!
 * KGB Agents: [gasps] The American people are not noticing? [all laugh]
 * Oranchov: Da, right. Pull the other one. Even worse, this new Crypto clone contains pure Furon DNA harvested from human brains by Orthopox-13, mastermind of the invasion. He also bears a mysterious new mutation referred to only as 'the package'.
 * Milenkov, KGB Agents: Ooo!
 * Oranchov: These aliens pose a dire threat to the Soviet Union, comrades, and so... it must be... DESTROYED! As we speak, President Crypto is in Bay City, attending a youth cultural fest.
 * KGB Agent: And Orthopox?
 * Oranchov: Conducting experiments in the Furon mothership.
 * Oranchov: [a missile is shown heading for the mothership while Orthopox taunts a brain] Savages... degenerates! There's only one way to deal with such men.
 * Orthopox: [sees missile] What in the?!
 * Oranchov: Revolution. [mothership explodes]

 * Crypto: You expect me to beg, human?
 * KGB Agent: No, little Furon. I expect you to die.
 * (He pulls out his gun. In response, Crypto pulls out his own.)
 * Crypto: Mine's... bigger.

 * Pox: Crypto! The mothership has somehow been destroyed, and I've been blown to smithereens! Luckily I was able to download a copy of my exquisite mind into this "Holopox" unit, just before the ship exploded.
 * Crypto: Gee, that is lucky.

 * [About not having any guns]
 * Crypto: I didn't bring any with me. Figured, uh, heavy artillery ain't exactly the smoothest way to charm the jeans off a pacifist hippy chick.
 * Pox: Ooh, I knew it! I knew your unnatural interest in humans would bring us nothing but trouble!
 * Crypto: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're harshin' my buzz! Mellow out, Poxy.
 * Pox: Easy for you to say! You weren't blown to pieces just seconds before restoring your own genitalia!

 * Natalya: Crypto, thank Lenin you're here! The worst has come to pass, Sergei is infected!
 * Crypto: Aw, for cryin' out... Tell me you used protection! Or don't they teach sex-ed in the Young Pioneers?
 * Natalya: Kakaya zadnitza, I'm not talking about STDs! He's has been infected with alien spores!

 * Crypto: Okay, hippies, hand over Coyote Bongwater or I heat me up some hippie smores!
 * Prudence: WHOOOAA, we got ourselves a narc over here! Hey, narc, why don't you go back to narc central and nark around with all the other narcs, YOU NARC!
 * Crypto: Ouch... that hurts.
 * Prudence: Just the kind of answer I expected... from a narc!

 * Crypto: Ninjas again? Hello, it's 1969! What are ninjas doing in 1969?
 * Orthopox: Just go with it! Besides, who doesn't love ninjas?

 * Crypto: I shoulda known, the drugs, the alcohol, the loose chicks, it all fits! It's obvious those hippies we're trying to lure me in so I'd let my guard down! Nice try hippies, but I ain't just some low-life, I'M THE BEST! Don't worry, Pox, I'll wipe out those hippies for what they did to my guns, and you!
 * Orthopox: Don't worry, I highly doubt hippies had much to do with this.
 * Crypto: Oh... damn.

 * Crypto: [after accepting mission from KGB Agent] You got it Ivan, or Boris... it's one of those right?
 * KGB Agent: You are not being funny! Why must you be saying hurtful things? Go be killing Terry Squire, then returning, and apologizing!

 * Pox: The scriptures say Arkvoodle will return when enough people believe in his image.
 * Crypto: You mean like Tinkerbell?
 * Pox: Er... something like that.

 * Orthopox-13: Here we are, scene 1. I looked pretty good that day.
 * Crypto: You're a [bleep] hologram, you look like crap.
 * Orthopox-13: Crypto, watch your language you [bleep] [bleep]!

 * Orthopox-13: Hello, hello stupid humans. Are we on? [background talking] I'll go first. This is the great Furon leader, Orthopox, accompanied by...
 * Crypto: That was the big, fat, hot airbag, and this is Cryptosporidium.
 * Orthopox-13: ... Crypto, did you call me an airbag?
 * Crypto: Hot being the key word, baby, you're hot, hot!

 * White Ninja Leader: In the beginning, great ninja sensei wear grey, and his students wear grey.
 * Crypto: Yeah I saw the movie, old master dies, his students split and eventually oppose each other like black opposes white, am I right or am I right?
 * White Ninja Leader: Wrong, the guy stop selling grey fabric. We wanted to be black, but those bastards put their order in first!

 * White Ninja Leader: Sensei, tell us what to do. Show us a sign. Should we sacrifice evil temptress demon?
 * Crypto: Now what's all this crap about an demon temptress?
 * White Ninja Leader: We caught her stealing food from the, er...
 * Crypto: You kidnapped a women from the supermarket?
 * White Ninja: No! No! Of course not... well, yes, definitely. But you do it all the time, what about Miss Rockwell in first game?
 * Crypto: That's different!

 * Natalya Ivanova: What are the codes?
 * Crypto: Eye... Love... Ewe.
 * Natalya Ivanova: Not now Crypto, we have work to do. Tell me the security codes.
 * Crypto: Those are the codes. Also, who's on first, what's on second and I don't know's on third.

 * Astronaut Carl Armstrong: That's one small step for man... one giant leap for mankind.
 * Astronaut Biff Aldrin: That's it?
 * Astronaut Carl Armstrong: What?
 * Astronaut Biff Aldrin: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"? Seven months, and that's the best you could come up with?
 * Astronaut Carl Armstrong: What, you didn't like it?
 * Astronaut Biff Aldrin: NO, I didn't like it! It's CRAP! Where'd you find it, on a cereal box?
 * Astronaut Carl Armstrong: I thought it sounded profound!
 * Astronaut Biff Aldrin: Profound? You wouldn't know profound if it hit you over the head with a Camus novel! You think Merv Griffin's a deep thinker!
 * Astronaut Carl Armstrong: Listen, mister, I'm getting a little tired of your lip!
 * Astronaut Biff Aldring: Oh, yeah, Commander Big Shot? What are you gonna do about it?
 * Astronaut Carl Armstrong: Pull the plug on this mission, that's what! Sorry, Houston, but I just can't work another second with this jackass. Get in the car! GET IN THE CAR!
 * Astronaut Biff Aldring: ... Moron.
 * Astronaut Carl Armstrong: Putz.

 * [Before the Kojira Kaiju battle]
 * Crypto: Look, Pox, uh, explain this monster to me. The Ivans can't even make a decent wristwatch! How the hell'd they come up with the technology to turn a summer intern into THAT?!
 * Orthopox-13: I've been trying to figure that one out myself. And I keep coming to the same conclusion: they didn't.
 * Crypto: What are you suggesting?
 * Orthopox-13: I'm not sure, but there's more than good old-fashioned Russian "can-do" spirit at work here.
 * Crypto: You're tellin' me! Those people have all the initiative of a normal convention.

 * [Before the Kojira Kaiju battle]
 * Crypto: You figure out where that ginormous monster went?
 * Orthopox-13: Not for certain. But I'm picking up a signal in the ocean to the south.
 * Crypto: Yeah? What kind of signal?
 * Orthopox-13: A radiation signature, emanating in gamma waves from the creatures's tortured brain.
 * Crypto: Tortured?
 * Orthopox-13: Yes. It's as if the monster is crying out "Kill me, kill me!"
 * Crypto: ... That's gotta be the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. So you want me to hunt down this monstrosity and put it out of its misery?
 * Orthopox-13: Actually, I want you to read its mind and intuit the source of its congnitive dissonance, so we can get it some help and over time teach it confidence and self-esteem.
 * Crypto: ... You gotta be kidding me.
 * Orthopox-13: OF COURSE I AM, YOU MUTATION! NOW GO KILL THAT THING!
 * Crypto: Okay, okay! But how do I find it?
 * Orthopox-13: Do I have to...?! You get in your saucer and fly to the spot marked on your radar! Look for bubbles on the water; that's a pretty good sign there's a MONSTER!
 * Crypto: So then, what, I just drop some bad boys into the water and blow it up?
 * Orthopox-13: Unfortunately, no. Your saucer's weapons are ineffective underwater. You'll have to figure out some way to get the beast to surface first.
 * Crypto: And then I play a little "Whack-A-Lizard". Got it.

 * [During the Kojira Kaiju battle]
 * Orthopox: Crypto, let that creature have it with everything you got!
 * Crypto: Arkvoodle-dammit! What's the deal here, Pox?! The more stuff that thing knocks down, the more it regenerates!
 * Orthopox: Well it HAS to have a weakness somewhere! Find it and hit it hard! You don't want to lose the big one in front of your little ninja groupies, do you?
 * Crypto: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY LITTLE NINJA GROUPIES! I'M WORRIED ABOUT GETTIN' MY ASS STOMPED!

 * Crypto: Hey Pox, you ever noticed all those crates lying around... just ordinary crates... I mean if they were being used for anything I'd understand but... so many... crates.
 * Orthopox-13: I think they got the hint, Crypto.

 * Crypto: Hey Pox, you got a cushy job here. I do all the work, and you sit around eating bon-bons.
 * Orthopox-13: In case you hadn't noticed, Cryptosporidium... I have NO BODY!
 * Crypto: And "no body" cares about you! [laughs] Get it, Poxy?
 * Orthopox-13: I loathe you.

<hr width=50%/>

 * [During Crypto's speech while disguised as Leonid on Moonbase Solaris]
 * Cosmonaut 1: But Leonid, why we have to leaving beloved country and coming to this hellhole?
 * Cosmonaut 2: Da! Is being worse than Verkhoyansk in February!
 * Crypto: [disguised as Leonid] That's what I'm sayin'! No air, no chicks - THIS PLACE SUCKS! And it's all the Blisk's fault!

<hr width=50%/>

 * [During Crypto's speech while disguised as Leonid]
 * Cosmonaut 1: Why are we not being allowed in area north of here?
 * Cosmonaut 2: Da, what are you having to hide?
 * Crypto: Because Milenkov thinks you're too drunk and stupid to go over there without getting lost, that's why!
 * Cosmonaut 2: Drunk? Okay. But STUPID?! Why, that zhopa!
 * Cosmonaut 1: Da! We can no longer be trusting Premier Milenkov!
 * Crypto: Oh, it ain't just Milenkov, kids! The Blisk think you're a bunch of morons too!
 * Cosmonaut 2: Bliskeviks also?! But they're always telling us Soviet Union will be ruling world!
 * Cosmonaut 1: Da, Leonid! What evidence are you having to mistrust Bliskeviks?
 * Crypto: EVIDENCE?! THEY'RE CONTROLLING YOUR MINDS!
 * Cosmonaut 1: Tsssk... I am thinking Comrade Cosmonaut Leonid is drinking too much Revelade.
 * Crypto: THEY'VE TAKEN OVER YOUR ENTIRE GOVERNMENT!
 * Cosmonaut 2: Tut, tut. Comrade Leonid is perhaps watching too much American television.
 * Crypto: THEY'RE GIANT FREAKIN' LOBSTERS! FROM OUTER FREAKIN' SPACE!
 * Cosmonaut 2: Hmm, tssk... we are seeing long term psychological effects of space travel. Poor Leonid.
 * Crypto: ...THEY'RE TAKING AWAY YOUR VODKA!
 * Cosmonaut 1: [gasp] This... this is being outrage! Anything else can be endured if we are having vodka!
 * Cosmonaut 2: Da! Without vodka, Russia would have been democracy 200 years ago!
 * Cosmonaut 1: This will not be standing! There is being no such thing as free lunch, Bliskeviks!
 * Crypto: Yeah! Give me vodka, or give me death!
 * Cosmonaut 1: Da!
 * Crypto: Yeah! So what does this mean for the Bliskeviks?!
 * Cosmonaut 2: Bad news for the Bliskeviks!
 * Crypto: That's the spirit! Now get out there, find the Blisk and KILL THEM CRABBIES DEAD!
 * Cosmonaut 2: FOR VODKA!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto:: Sooo, modern art, huh? Jackson Pollock pees on a canvas and sells it for fifty grand? I don't get it.
 * Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe: Ha! ... Oh, you're serious? Well, I suppose it takes something of an educated eye to make sense of it.
 * Crypto: "Educated eye"? What a crock! I don't need a Master's in Art History to know what I like!
 * Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe: No, of course not. But as modern art has become more abstracted, it helps to understand the conceptual framework the artist had in mind.
 * Crypto: You realize the player's in the kitchen makin' nachos at this point, right?
 * Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe: Well, you did that whole Blue Rider thing in the first game, I-I just thought perhaps--
 * Crypto: I know, I know. Lead balloon city, what are ya gonna do?

<hr width=50%/>

 * Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe: Now tell me all the good things you remember about your mother.
 * Crypto: You mean, you're not my mother? Or are you?

<hr width=50%/>

 * Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe: We know you have it! Tell us where it is or it's the Ludivico treatment for you. Eyelids peeled back, excruciating torture, endless hours of Ludwig Van!
 * Crypto: Oh God! Not Beethoven! ANYTHING BUT BEETHOVEN!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: I bet I could tell you that I'm an alien from the Planet Furon, here to harvest your brain stems, and you wouldn't even care...
 * British Hippie: Cool, do it! At least that will take care of my headache!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: So, you me, jacuzzi, chocolate syrup... what do you say?
 * Natalya Ivanova: I'm allergic to chocolate.
 * Crypto: No kidding... that's gotta suck.
 * Natalya Ivanova: Eh, Soviet chocolate tastes like mud anyway. And I have to fit into this outfit.
 * Crypto: And on behalf of oversexed aliens everywhere, let me just say thank you.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Coyote Bongwater: [when he first sees Crypto] Aaah! Goddamn flashbacks!
 * Crypto: Guess again, sunshine. Nice setup you got here. Guns, drugs, bra-burning hippie chicks; a man after my own heart... if I had one.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: For God's sake, Pox, the name of the game is "Destroy All Humans!", not "play some record and keep the kids off drugs".
 * Pox: Do you think you might be able to, maybe, for the next thirty seconds... CONCENTRATE?!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: Hey, Nat, if I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
 * Natalya Ivanova: Crypto, I like you, but I will neuter you if I have to.
 * Crypto: Fair enough.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Dr. Orlov: Excellent hand-eye coordination. You should try new game I am developing on computer in spare time.
 * Crypto: Games? On a computer? You're wasting your time, doc.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: [disguised as a hippie] So I kill the Sergeant but avoid the crates... hey, wait a minute... ain't I a pacifist?
 * KGB Agent: Once you are returning all the crates, we will be paying you the agreed upon fee.
 * Crypto: Ah, the sweet smell of political ideals being compromised.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Orthopox-13: And why don't you... torture some hippies?
 * Crypto: For information?
 * Orthopox-13: No, for prosperity. Of course for information, you dolt! Now get out there and cause some trouble!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: Hey Poxy, what's it like being one of the floating dead?
 * Orthopox-13: It's quite peaceful actually. No distractions, certainly no violence or destruction... Frankly, it's boring the phlegm off me! I hate it! I WANT A NEW CLONE BODY! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
 * Crypto: I almost feel sorry for the poor guy. Almost.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: I think I hear Arkvoodle calling for a sacrifice right now.
 * Shama Llama: I don't hear anything, and I am listening with my third ear.
 * Crypto: What's that, Arkvoodle? You want a monkey burger? One monkey burger coming right up.
 * Shama Llama: Oh, that calling. I hear that quite clearly.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: Pox, we got a situation. Bongwater must be drinkin' his own product - The Freak says he's plannin' to fumigate Bay City with giant blimps full of Revelade gas!
 * Orthopox-13: Great galaxies! That's so moronic it just might work!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Orthopox-13: Crypto, what if it's true? What if you're... The One?
 * Crypto: Hm, I did take a red pill this morning...

<hr width=50%/>

 * Orthopox-13: Crypto! You need to increase the intensity of those radar emissions! Perhaps if you cross the beams... Oh, no, wait, that would be bad.
 * Crypto: I'm a little fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing.
 * Orthopox-13: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously. Every molecule in your body in your body exploding at the speed of light. Total protonic reversal.
 * Crypto: Right, that's bad, got it.
 * Orthopox-13: No, no, there's no use for it. We're just going to have to take the risk! Do it, Crypto! Cross the beams! Cross them for all you're worth!
 * Crypto: You asked for it!

<hr width=50%/>

 * [Encountering the Blisk for the first time]
 * Crypto: Hold the phone, what do these freaks want?
 * Orthopox-13: Wait a minute... Now that I think of it, that machinery looks suspiciously familiar... Oh my-- HOLY HOOKERS OF ARKVOODLE! Crypto! Do you know who these "freaks" are?!
 * Crypto: They're not Commie cabbageheads?
 * Orthopox-13: Great galaxies, no! They're not even human! They're the enemy - OUR enemy! The enemy we Furons defeated in the Martian War! Crypto... THEY'RE BLISK!
 * Crypto: Blisk?! Wait a minute, I thought we wiped the Blisk out!
 * Orthopox-13: I have no explanation; I can barely believe my sensors! But a few of them must have somehow survived!
 * Crypto: Not for long. Attention, Blisk: I am Cryptosporidium of the planet Furon! This planet is now a territory of the Furon Empire, and your asses belong to ME!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: You gotta fill me in on this whole "Blisk" thing, Pox.
 * Orthopox-13: My-- My hardrive is spinning, I hardly know where to begin! They're huge, hideous brutes with giant claws and withering halitosis! They have a single hive mind, and an imperviousness to radiation; they take to it like a pig to mud! Imagine a cockroach mating with a lobster!
 * Crypto: Oi! Enough already, you're makin' me queasy.
 * Orthopox-13: Humans assume the Tunguska blast of 1908 was caused by a meteorite. But now we know its true cause: the fiery crash of a Blisk warship!
 * Crypto: Listen, I skipped most of military history. How'd that war get started anyway?
 * Orthopox-13: Millenia ago, Mars was an ocean world, and the Blisk ruled an underwater paradise. Frankly, they were more than a little cocky about it. The war was long and bitter, but in the end we reduced their world to desert and wiped them out!... Or so we thought. We obliterated most of their warships, though one we could not account for. We assumed it had been destroyed, but it must have been merely disabled, and drifted helplessly through space until it crash-landed here on Earth.
 * Crypto: And I'm guessin' the Crabbies ain't the forgivin' type?
 * Orthopox-13: After what we did to them? Not bloody likely!
 * Crypto: Yeah, well, don't you worry your virtual little head, Pox. This time, they're goin' down for good!
 * Orthopox-13: A bold statement. Many Furons fell thanks to the Blisk. And there's another problem: since the war, the Furon defense budget has been... downsized. I fear that most of our current weapons will be ineffective against the Blisk.
 * Crypto: Downsized the defense budget?! What the hell'd the Emperor do that for?!
 * Orthopox-13: The Blisk were exterminated. No one else posed such a lethal threat. We didn't need the big guns! But none of us saw this coming.
 * Crypto: Okay, well, at least we know what we're up against. Whaddaya want me to do?
 * Orthopox-13: I'll contact you with new orders as soon as I have some idea of what's going on. Until then, just... don't do anything rash.
 * Crypto: Rash? Me? Nah, I got a cream for that; cleared it right up!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: What do we know about the Blisk, aside from they're ugly as sin?
 * Orthopox-13: They are indeed a most repulsive race, and incredibly vicious. Furthermore, they treat their workers very badly and have offensively short tempers.
 * Crypto: Any resemblance to present company is completely coincidental.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: [about to destroy the Blisk superweapon] Do the dishes, protect the Earth, save the Furon DNA, got it. Man, whatever happened to destroying all humans?
 * Orthopox-13: Let this be a lesson to you, Crypto: the best laid plans can be derailed by an unexpected case of the Crabs! Now, GO!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Takoshamise Police Officer: Moshi Moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!
 * Crypto: We got him.
 * Takoshamise Police Officer: Super happy fun defense!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: Hey Pox, it just occurred to me - who's running the country while I've been away? Hasn't anyone noticed the President missing?
 * Pox: Well, you never did spend much time at the oval office anyway, so I installed a limited mechanism to keep the humans alive while you were away.
 * Crypto: What kind of mechanism?
 * Pox: Oh, just a limited functional machine. It smiles, waves, occasionally spouts inspiring patriotic speeches about world peace and other such nonsense.
 * Crypto: Heh, guess the monkeys wouldn't know the difference.
 * Pox: Actually, your approval rating has tripled since I made the switch.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: Okay, run me through this again.
 * The Freak: Through what?
 * Crypto: About the blimps.
 * The Freak: What blimps?
 * Crypto: Coyote Bongwater's blimps! He's gonna use them to gas Bay City with Revelade!
 * The Freak: COYOTE BONGWATER'S GONNA GAS THE CITY WITH BLIMPS FULL OF REVELADE?!
 * Crypto: Yes! You just said all of this!
 * The Freak: Said what?
 * Crypto: What do you mean "said what"? You just told me that... [sighs] See, kids? This is why you shouldn't do drugs.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Milenkov: Hello, Cryptosporidium.
 * Crypto: Milenkov. Sorry to rain on your Communist Party, but in case you haven't noticed, your little base looks like Keith Moon redecorated! You've lost.
 * Milenkov: Such bluster, such arrogance. You're beginning to sound like real American. Soon you'll be wearing cowboy hat and speaking in monosyllables!
 * Crypto: Says you!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: Get this through your monkey brain, Milenkov: we own that planet! And there's not a damn thing you or your Russkie pals can do about it!
 * Milenkov: [laughing] Such bluster, such overconfidence, yet still you can't see the big picture! I wonder, would you feel so arrogant if you knew the full scope of our... FIENDISH MASTER PLAN?!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: Milly, I'm gonna probe you so hard, you're gonna be wearin' diapers for a month!
 * Milenkov: I already take a weekly high colonic, but thank you for the offer. On the other hand, I wonder - would you be so bold if you knew our... DEVILISH MASTER PLAN?!

<hr width=50%/>

 * Crypto: You two-bit, tinhorn petty tyrant! I fart bigger than you! You think just because you can keep a few depressed peasants in line, you can go toe-to-toe with me?! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! THE MASTER OF DISASTER! THE BADDEST DUDE IN THE WHOLE DAMN TOWN! KING KONG AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!
 * Milenkov: King Kong died, Cryptosporidium. I wonder, would you be so sure of yourself if you knew our... FIENDISH MASTER PLAN?!

<hr width=50%/>

 * [After Milenkov repeatedly boasts about his "master plan"]
 * Crypto: Geez, you guys just gotta have your monologues, don't you? Okay, I give. What's your damn master plan? Lemme guess - you and the Blisk are gonna spread those spores and enslave humanity. Commies and Crabbies - a match made in heaven.
 * Milenkov: [chuckling] Small minds, no imagination. It's nothing so mundane. We don't give a damn about humanity, Cryptosporidium! What we want from Earth is the same thing you want: survival.
 * Crypto: So the Crabbies want a new crib. What's wrong with Mars?
 * Milenkov: Mars is a desert! An acid wasteland! You Furons saw to that! But Earth - Earth is three fifths water. All it lacks is massive radioactivity - to become a new Eden. An irradiated ocean paradise for Blisk!
 * Crypto: But what about the Russians? Your people can't live in that.
 * Milenkov: "My people"?! [laughs] Oh, you really aren't very bright, are you? Why do you think we've waged Cold War? Encouraged the buildup of nuclear arms? Good God, what sane human would pursue such obvious suicide? 1908: Blisk warship crashes. 1917: October Revolution. Do the math! You of all creatures should know - aliens walk among us, da?
 * Crypto: You're not suggesting...?!
 * Milenkov: Suggesting? I'm telling you! Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev...
 * Crypto: Trotsky?!
 * Milenkov: Please, don't be ridiculous. It helped that Russian is so close to Bliskish - no coincidence, of course. The Furons aren't the only race who ever used Earth for "shore leave". Face it, Cryptosporidium - you Furons have been out-schemed! The history of the Soviet Union IS the history of Blisk on Earth! The loss of our spores is a blow, but in the end it makes no difference! SOON, EARTH WILL BE OURS! NO MORE HUMANS! NO MORE FURON DNA! And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it! Lestrovya, Cryptosporidium.

<hr width=50%/>

 * Shama Llama: [seeing Crypto] I'm sorry, do I know you?
 * Crypto: Shama, it's me! You know, your benevolent yet sociopathic alien overlord!
 * Shama Llama: Oh, yes, the small green toddler! I forget your name. Do you have an appointment?
 * Crypto: I need an appointment to speak to an indigent hippie from Bay City with a crappy Indian accent. Not to mention whose ass, need I remind you, I literally dragged out of the gutter!
 * Shama Llama: And yet now it is I who am face of the Arkvoodle cult! Coincidence? I don't think so!
 * Crypto: Yeah, well, I just voided your contract. You're about to make the ultimate sacrifice!
 * Shama Llama: Arkvoodle will protect me!
 * Crypto: I wouldn't hold my breath.
 * [Crypto and Shama proceed to fight]

title: Destroy All Humans! 2


text:
User:Serminigo~enwikiquote

Wikipedia is like a funky monkey-you got to tame it before you eat it - Serminigo Religion is not only your beliefs but your way of life- Serminigo Piracy is when you steal someones book at then you use it as salad dressing- Serminigo A monkey is a type of simian- Serminigo

MONKEYS SMELL GOOD - Serminigo

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

title: User:Serminigo~enwikiquote


text:
Nicholas Serota

Sir Nicholas Serota (born 27 April 1946) is a curator and Director of the Tate gallery, the United Kingdom's national gallery of modern and British art.

The Dimbleby Lecture 2000

 * From "Who's afraid of modern art?", lecture by Sir Nicholas Serota, broadcast by the BBC. Accessed from web.archive.org, 2007-01-21

 * In 1987 a Civil Service inquiry decided that the pay of the Director of the Tate Gallery should match that of the Director of the much larger Victoria & Albert Museum and of the National Gallery, where the pictures were regarded as being much more important, because, and here I quote, "the Director of the Tate has to deal with the very difficult problem of modern art".

 * For in spite of much greater public interest in all aspects of visual culture, including design and architecture, the challenge posed by contemporary art has not evaporated. We have only to recall the headlines for last year's Turner Prize. "Eminence without merit" (The Sunday Telegraph). "Tate trendies blow a raspberry" (Eastern Daily Press), and my favourite, "For 1,000 years art has been one of our great civilising forces. Today, pickled sheep and soiled bed threaten to make barbarians of us all" (The Daily Mail). Are these papers speaking the minds of their readers? I have no delusions. People may be attracted by the spectacle of new buildings, they may enjoy the social experience of visiting a museum, taking in the view, an espresso or glass of wine, purchasing a book or an artist designed t-shirt. Many are delighted to praise the museum, but remain deeply suspicious of the contents.

 * In 1964 I was at school, planning to study economics and sociology, when curiosity took me to the Tate Gallery to see an international survey exhibition of contemporary art. It brought together the painting and sculpture of the previous decade, beginning with the late works of the modern masters, Matisse and Picasso, and concluding with the twenty-seven year olds Allen Jones and David Hockney. I was bowled over. Suddenly, art was not just Turner and Constable, or Leonardo and Michelangelo, but objects of considerable size and brilliant colour, dealing with the sensations, subjects and issues of the Sixties.

 * Damien Hirst's Mother and Child Divided (1993) is a work which can at first glance be read as nothing more than two brutally severed carcasses. "A freak show" was how the art critic of the Sunday Telegraph responded to its presentation in the Turner Prize in 1995. For me, the undoubted shock, even disgust provoked by the work is part of its appeal. Art should be transgressive. Life is not all sweet.

 * For the late twentieth-century museum director there is no more certain prospect for audience acclaim and sponsor success than those Impressionist and Post-impressionist artists who were so reviled a century earlier

 * After thirty years of looking at new work in galleries and even newer work in studios, I am very familiar with the experience of being completely at a loss when confronting a new idea or image.

 * A visit to a studio never fails to test my resources. It constantly reminds me of the condition in which most people first confront contemporary art. This is a state of "not knowing", of "not understanding", of being disorientated or challenged by the unfamiliar. One of my responsibilities as a curator is therefore to remember that a visitor encountering an unfamiliar work of art in the museum is likely to be as unprepared as I was in the studio. But I've come to realise that it's precisely when I am most challenged in my own reactions that the deepest insights emerge.

 * For many years, and like many British people, I had little feeling for the most expressive and roughest form of early twentieth century European painting, the expressionism of German artists around the First World War like Kirchner.

 * The argument that new vision becomes the reference point for the future, is a line that I have been driven to use on many occasions.

 * Craft, I would argue, is not an essential part of art, though skill is. That skill may indeed find its expression in draughtsmanship or carving, realised through the hand of the artist, but it may also be directed towards the selection of material or the choice of an expert fabricator.

 * I have never really understood the objection to art which is specifically made for a gallery or museum, and so cannot be collected by an individual or taken home. It is rather like saying that all music should be confined to the chamber work or novels to the short story.

 * But when the artist abandons visible appearance, as in Mondrian's black grids on white grounds filled with balancing rectangles of colour, many people feel left behind. And yet the rhythms of Mondrian are those of nature. The harmonies are those which guided proportion in classical buildings and Renaissance churches. Rothko's glowing maroon Seagram Murals at the Tate may, like Turner's late canvases, appear to be "of nothing" but in their brooding depth Rothko suggests another world. As one four year old child said of the Rothko room at the Tate "it makes me think of God".

 * An honest curator will admit that judgement is fallible, especially for art made yesterday.

title: Nicholas Serota


text:
Category:Curators

A curator is a person working for a library or museum who manages that organization's collections.

title: Category:Curators


text:
Talk:Mona Sahlin

Notability
Please provide some citations from English-language publications that would demonstrate this subject's notability outside Sweden. 121a0012 16:49, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

"I hate everything [that's] genuinely typically Swedish." (in the Swedish newspaper Expressen, July 26, 2002.) This was actually written by Linda Skugge, not Mona Sahlin. The quote and the reference are correct, but not the person.

I see that the quote about immigrants having a culture and Swedes having silly things is listed as unsourced. This blog post contains scans of an article that looks awfully authentic to me. Could someone explain why the quote was moved to the unsourced section previously? http://ligator.wordpress.com/2010/08/14/mona-sahlin-sverigedemokraternas-basta-van/

Unsourced

 * The unemployment strikes hardest and most clearly those who don't have a job.
 * As minister of sustainable development (samhällsbyggnadsminister).

 * "In Sweden, there is a bunch of values that you have to accept. You may like it or not, but you don´t have a choice. If people withdraw from society to avoid adapting, we need to find a way to force Swedish values on them".
 * (M. Sahlin, Dagens Nyheter, 8/6-2001)"

title: Talk:Mona Sahlin


text:
User:Vseferovic

Vseferovic is a user who comes from Chicago.

Active on the English Wikipedia, Bosnian Wikipedia, and Bosnian Wikinews (bureaucrat)

bs:Korisnik:Vseferovic

title: User:Vseferovic


text:
Talk:Robert Wright

Criticism

 * That biological evolution has an arrow -- the invention of more structurally and informationally complex forms of life…

This is of course false. It would be nice to have a corresponding quote from a review of this book that corrects the error, if anyone has done so in a way that is reasonably quotable per WQ standards. (That's why the standard template for people articles has an optional "Criticism" section.) I checked The New York Review, which I considered a likely source, but didn't find anything. 121a0012 17:17, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

title: Talk:Robert Wright


text:
Talk:Philip K. Howard

Cleanup
The cleanup required here is fairly minor: identify the appropriate categories for this person, and add an "External links" section with wikipedia and the category references. When this is done, the people-cleanup tag should be replaced with author-stub or similar. 121a0012 17:21, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

title: Talk:Philip K. Howard


text:
Dick Armey

Richard Keith "Dick" Armey (born July 7, 1940, in Cando, North Dakota) is a former U.S. Representative from Texas's 26th congressional district, (1985–2003) and House Majority Leader (1995–2003). He was one of the architects of the "Republican Revolution" of the 1990s, in which Republicans were elected to majorities of both houses of Congress for the first time in four decades, and the chief author of the Republican Contract with America.

DICK ARMY

Quotes

 * Dave Barry:: Are you really Dick Armey? Dick Armey:: Yes, I am Dick Armey. And if there is a dick army, Barney Frank would want to join up.
 * Discussion between Dave Barry and Dick Armey, August 2, 2000
 * Reported by Mike Luckovich, quoted in

 * America’s Christian conservative movement is confronted with this divide: small-government advocates who want to practice their faith independent of heavy-handed government versus big-government sympathizers who want to impose their version of 'righteousness' on others through the hammer of law.... Our movement must avoid the temptations of power and those who would twist the good intentions of Christian voters to support policies that undermine freedom and grow government.
 * | Christians and Big Government - Why faith requires freedom, 12 October 2006

title: Dick Armey


text:
Talk:David Hockney

Images
I feel these images of Victorian paintings are totally inappropriate for David Hockney and his modern work. They create a misleading atmosphere. Also it's rather twee. Better to have none than these. I propose to remove them, unless anyone objects. Tyrenius 19:10, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Unsourced

 * There's no such thing as grey.
 * slideshow for the BBC

title: Talk:David Hockney


text:
Peter Blake

Sir Peter Thomas Blake (born 25 June 1932) is an English pop artist. His best known work is the image on the cover of The Beatles' album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. He has since complained he was only paid £200 for this. He used images from comics, magizines, consumers goods, and other images to create colorful paintings.

Sgt. Pepper's cover

 * Ever since, I have fought a vague kind of battle for some kind of fairness.
 * Cited in Charlotte Higgins, "It was 37 years ago today – and Sgt Pepper cover has still failed to pay", The Guardian, 2004-06-03

 * My dealer was a friend of the Beatles and the Stones, and he suggested they used a fine artist. I talked to the Beatles at length about what the cover would be. I worked out it would show the moment after they had played in a bandstand in the park. My big contribution was the life-size cutouts, the magic crowds."
 * Cited in Charlotte Higgins, "It was 37 years ago today – and Sgt Pepper cover has still failed to pay", The Guardian, 2004-06-03

 * Album covers are like any other vehicle, they are a means of illustrating a story.
 * Ian Herbert North, "We hope you will enjoy the show", The Independent, 2005-02-11

 * People think Sgt Pepper is part of my name.
 * Serena Davies, "In the studio:Peter Blake, The Daily Telegraph, 2005-12-13

 * Sgt Pepper made me more famous but it did not change me as an artist.
 * Colin Serjent, "Blake's 08, Nerve, Autumn 2006

Art

 * In one work Marcel Duchamp meets Tracey Emin in the desert, with three camp cowboys. In another he meets Elvis and the Spice Girls.
 * Cited in Charlotte Higgins, "It was 37 years ago today – and Sgt Pepper cover has still failed to pay", The Guardian, 2004-06-03
 * On his painting, Marcel Duchamp's World Tour.

 * Art in Britain is in a very healthy state. The artists of my generation and older are at their best — people like Howard Hodgkin and Frank Auerbach. The YBAs are still very strong, and it's exciting to wonder what the next generation will bring.
 * Simon O'Hagan "Credo:Peter Blake", The Independent on Sunday, 2005-11-20. Accessed from findarticles.com, 2007-01-22

 * He opened the door that so many of us went through, the door of possibility, by saying anything an artist makes is art.
 * Serena Davies, "In the studio:Peter Blake, The Daily Telegraph, 2005-12-13
 * On Marcel Duchamp.

 * People say, "Why do you paint?" and I say, to make magic.
 * Serena Davies, "In the studio:Peter Blake, The Daily Telegraph, 2005-12-13

 * I can’t work with computers but I work with someone who can. We talk about what the subjects will be and then I get a load of images about Liverpool. We then scan them and put them on a disk and then we manipulate them on the computer. I am treating them as posters. They are prints but I want them to look like posters.
 * Colin Serjent, "Blake's 08, Nerve, Autumn 2006
 * On producing serigraph prints to celebrate Liverpool as the 2008 European Capital of Culture.

Life

 * Most artists go potty as they get older: dafter and madder as they get more celibate. So I am consciously going to do that.
 * Cited in Charlotte Higgins, "It was 37 years ago today – and Sgt Pepper cover has still failed to pay", The Guardian (3 June 2004).

 * I believe in fairies. Although I can't prove they exist, nobody has ever managed to prove to me that they don't.
 * Brian Sewell is a fool. For some years he seemed to have it in for me and Hockney and [R.B.] Kitaj. Even if he wasn't writing about us he'd always find a way of bringing us in. He'd say, "so and so was a bad artist but not as bad as Hockney, Kitaj or Blake." Things like that.
 * Simon O'Hagan "Credo: Peter Blake", The Independent on Sunday (20 November 2005), accessed from findarticles.com (22 January 2007).

 * I say to people I'm in my late period. Obviously, as you get older you're in your late period anyway, but to decide you are becomes a concept. It's related to the concept of my retirement, which was about the fact that I'd shown at the greatest gallery in the world and I'd never top that... So, I retired from the jealousy of other artists, and ambition. I could alternatively have become a Buddhist or something — it is a kind of beatific state.
 * Serena Davies, "In the studio:Peter Blake, The Daily Telegraph (13 December 2005).
 * The "greatest gallery" refers to the National Gallery in London, where he was the associate artist in 1996.

 * I don't think artists should be sponsored. You should not rely on grants. You either make a success of your art or you don’t. I worked as an artist for a number of years without making much money – I have never had any financial backing in that way. Things are now very good for me but for a lot of the time things were not.
 * Colin Serjent, "Blake's 08, Nerve (Autumn 2006).

title: Peter Blake


text:
Talk:Peter Blake

Quotes
Some good ones here. Tyrenius 20:41, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Now in article. Tyrenius 04:00, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

title: Talk:Peter Blake


text:
Mike's New Car

Mike's New Car is a 2002 short film about the advantages and disadvantages of Mike Wazowski's new car.
 * ''Directed by Pete Docter and Roger Gould. Written by Pete Docter and Jeff Pidgeon.

Michael Wazowski (Mike)

 * [after starting his car] It's like we've released a panther.

Dialogue

 * Mike: [shows Sulley his new car] Ta-da! What do you think?
 * Sulley: What was wrong with your old car?
 * Mike: Three little words, Sulley: six-wheel drive! Come on, get in, get in, get in!

 * Mike: [about the seat] It's adjustable.
 * [Sulley presses a button and his seat goes low; he raises the seat, and then makes it move all around]
 * Mike: [impatiently] WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?!

 * Sulley: [to Mike, who is trying to close the hood] I'll get it! [accidentally slams hood on Mike's hand; Mike screams] Oh, sorry! Sorry! [Sulley presses a button, and the hood flies open, launching Mike into the air. Mike falls into the hood and the hood closes on him; the car phone rings. Sulley answers] Hello?
 * Mike: [on phone] PUSH THE BUTTON!

 * Sulley: [tries to readjust the rearview mirror after he bashed it with his head, but accidentally breaks it off] Oops.
 * Mike: [calmly] Get out of the car, please. [snaps] Get out, out, out, OUT, OUT!! GET OUTTA MY CAR!
 * [Sulley is forced out of the car and stands on the pavement. The car starts up and suddenly speeds off. Five of the six wheels roll past Sulley. The sixth one follows more slowly]
 * Sulley: Hmm, that's weird. The airbag didn't go off.
 * [the airbag inflates and blasts Mike back up the street; Sulley catches him]
 * Mike: I miss my old car. You know, with the vroom-vroom and the clang-clang and the bang-bang? [sighs]
 * Sulley: You, uh, wanna walk?
 * Mike: [exhausted] Yes.

Cast

 * Billy Crystal as Michael "Mike" Wazowski
 * John Goodman as James P. "Sulley" Sullivan

title: Mike's New Car


text:
User talk:75.80.24.199

I saw that you made a large amount of changes to Poltergeist, with the addition of new quotes or helping with the accuracy of quotes being very appreciated. But the page as it now stands, requires a lot of cleanup to conform to the film template (which it did before you started working on it). If you have such an interest in the film, please take a look at the film template and work to get this page back into proper form. Thanks. ~ UDScott 21:22, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:75.80.24.199


text:
Ernest Bramah

Ernest Brammah Smith (March 20, 1868 – June 23, 1942) was the author of a series of stories about Kai Lung, a Chinese storyteller, and was also the creator of the blind detective Max Carrados. He wrote under the pseudonym Ernest Bramah.

The Wallet of Kai Lung (1900)

 * It is a mark of insincerity of purpose to spend one's time in looking for the sacred Emperor in the low-class tea-shops.
 * The Transmutation of Ling

 * When struck by a thunderbolt it is unnecessary to consult the Book of Dates as to the precise meaning of the omen.
 * The Transmutation of Ling

 * Although there exist many thousand subjects for elegant conversation, there are persons who cannot meet a cripple without talking about feet.
 * The Transmutation of Ling

 * When Ling was communicating to any person the signs by which messengers might find him, he was compelled to add, "the neighbourhood in which this contemptible person resides is that officially known as 'the mean quarter favoured by the lower class of those who murder by treachery'," and for this reason he was not always treated with the regard to which his attainments entitled him, or which he would have unquestionably received had he been able to describe himself as of "the partly-drained and uninfected area reserved to Mandarins and their friends."
 * The Transmutation of Ling

 * Before hastening to secure a possible reward of five taels by dragging an unobservant person away from a falling building, examine well his features lest you find, when too late, that it is one to whom you are indebted for double that amount.
 * The Confession of Kai Lung

 * In his countenance this person read an expression of no-encouragement towards his venture.
 * The Confession of Kai Lung

 * Should a person on returning from the city discover his house to be in flames, let him examine well the change which he has received from the chair-carrier before it is too late; for evil never travels alone.
 * The Career of the Charitable Quen-Ki-Tong

 * At the mention of the name and offence of this degraded being a great sound went up from the entire multitude – a universal cry of execration, not greatly dissimilar from that which may be frequently heard in the crowded Temple of Impartiality when the one whose duty it is to take up, at a venture, the folded papers, announces that the sublime Emperor, or some mandarin of exalted rank, has been so fortunate as to hold the winning number in the Annual State Lottery.
 * The Vision of Yin, the Son of Yat Huang

 * Alas! It is well written, "The road to eminence lies through the cheap and exceedingly uninviting eating-houses."
 * The Ill-Regulated Destiny of Kin Yen, the Picture-Maker

Kai Lung's Golden Hours (1922)

 * At this display the elder and less attractive of the maidens fled, uttering loud and continuous cries of apprehension in order to conceal the direction of her flight.
 * The Encountering of Six within a Wood

 * "It is well said: 'He who lacks a single tael sees many bargains,'" replied Sun Wei, a refined bitterness weighing the import of his words. "Truly this person's friends in the Upper Air are a never-failing lantern behind his back."
 * The Story of Ning, the Captive God, and the Dreams that Mark his Race

 * Do not adjust your sandals while passing through a melon-field, nor yet arrange your hat beneath an orange-tree.
 * The Story of Lao Ting and the Luminous Insect

 * After secretly observing the unstudied grace of her movements, the most celebrated picture-maker of the province burned the implements of his craft, and began life anew as a trainer of performing elephants.
 * The Story of Chang Tao, Melodious Vision and the Dragon

 * The one-legged never stumble.
 * The Story of Hien and the Chief Examiner

 * There are few situations in life that cannot be honourably settled, and without loss of time, either by suicide, a bag of gold, or by thrusting a despised antagonist over the edge of a precipice upon a dark night.
 * The Story of Hien and the Chief Examiner

 * However entrancing it is to wander unchecked through a garden of bright images, are we not enticing your mind from another subject of almost equal importance?
 * The Story of Hien and the Chief Examiner
 * Note: this is cited in Dorothy Sayers' Strong Poison.

Kai Lung Unrolls His Mat (1928)

 * One learns to itch where one can scratch.
 * The Story of Wong Choi and the Merchant Teen King's Thumb

 * However deep you dig a well it affords no refuge in the time of flood.
 * The Story of Tong So, the Averter of Calamities

 * "Excellence," besought Kai Lung, not without misgivings,"how many warriors, each having some actual existence, are there in your never-failing band?" "For all purposes save those of attack and defence there are fifteen score of the best and bravest, as their pay-sheets well attest," was the confident response. "In a strictly literal sense, however, there are no more than can be seen on a mist-enshrouded day with a resolutely closed eye."
 * ''The Meeting by the Way with the Warrior of Chi-u and What Emerged Therefrom"

 * He who has failed three times sets up as an instructor.
 * The Story of Lin Ho and the Treasure of Fang-Tso

 * He is capable of any crime, from reviling the Classics to diverting water courses.
 * The Story of Lin Ho and the Treasure of Fang-Tso

 * Eat in the dark the bargain that you purchased in the dusk.
 * The Story of Kin Wen and the Miraculous Tusk

 * One may ride upon a tiger's back but it is fatal to dismount.
 * The Story of Kin Wen and the Miraculous Tusk

Kai Lung Beneath the Mulberry Tree (1940)

 * Better a dish of husks to the accompaniment of a muted lute than to be satiated with stewed shark's fin and rich spiced wine of which the cost is frequently mentioned by the provider.
 * The Story of the Poet Lao Ping, Chun Shin's Daughter Fa, and the Fighting Crickets

 * "When an alluring woman comes in at the door," warningly traced the austere Kien-fi on the margin of his well-known essay, "discretion may be found up the chimney". It is incredible that beneath this ever-timely reminder an obscure disciple should have added the words: "The wiser the sage, the more profound the folly."
 * The Story of the Poet Lao Ping, Chun Shin's Daughter Fa, and the Fighting Crickets

Criticism

 * Ernest Bramah's China, then, is the fantastic bogus China of convention, not the real historical thing at all. He wrote of it in a prose so perfectly conceived that it becomes a miracle of style.  As Hilaire Belloc once observed, the sly humor and philosophy of Bramah's stories is a trick he achieves by pretending to adapt the flavor of Chinese literary conventions into the English.  But the thing I love most about the tales is their irony and the brilliance of their wit.
 * Lin Carter Discoveries in Fantasy (London, 1974) pp. 5-6.

 * Bramah's books fall into two very unequal categories. Some, fortunately the smaller part, record the adventures of the blind detective, Max Carrados. These are competent, mediocre books. The rest are parodic in nature: they pass themselves off as translations from the Chinese, and their boundless perfection achieved the unconditional praise of Hilaire Belloc in 1922. Their names: The Wallet of Kai Lung (1900), Kai Lung's Golden Hours (1922), Kai Lung Unrolls His Mat (1928), The Mirror of Kong Ho (1931), The Moon of Much Gladness (1936).
 * Jorge Luis Borges, "The Total Library"

title: Ernest Bramah


text:
Talk:Dick Armey

Validity
I seriously doubt the validity of some of these quotes. Are there any sources for them available? ~ UDScott 21:33, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Transfer from Wikipedia
For GFDL purposes, please note that substantial quote material was transferred from Dick Armey by McNoddy at 12:03, 5 March 2008 (UTC). ~ Jeff Q (talk) 18:18, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

Unsourced

 * You cannot get ahead while you are getting even.

 * I've been to Europe once. I don't have to go again.

 * The Justice Department […] seems to be running amok and out of control […] This agency right now is the biggest threat to personal liberty in the country.
 * The New Republic, unidentified article, October 21, 2001

 * If my expectations of civility and collegiality were disappointed, what do you think it was like for the rest of the congressmen they dealt with? The Bush White House was tone-deaf to the normal courtesies of the office.
 * The Atlantic Monthly, unidentified article, September 2007

 * Bipartisanship is another name for date rape.

title: Talk:Dick Armey


text:
User talk:69.87.183.178

~ UDScott 21:41, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:69.87.183.178


text:
User:Triviaa

I'm a stickler for proper spelling and punctuation, so I will be making many minor edits to make quote pages better.

title: User:Triviaa


text:
User talk:134.93.57.4

Wikiquote exists for the collecting of notable quotations of famous people and famous works. When people are not interested in responsibly contributing to the development of the project incidents of their deliberate vandalism can result in IP addresses being blocked from editing. ~ Kalki 22:56, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:134.93.57.4


text:
User talk:Seattle4

Hi everybody,

I just wanted to say that if you changed something on all the disney channel shows I'm telling you now your going to be in a lot of trouble.

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  01:25, 7 February 2007 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * Also see What Wikiquote is not for common activities that Wikiquote does not support.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Please remember to use edit summaries when editing pages.
 * When posting to a discussion, please sign with a date by writing four tildes (~~) and saving.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Seattle4


text:
User:Fignewt1259~enwikiquote

"you break a rule if it's not a rule to break"  -Chris Newton

title: User:Fignewt1259~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:24.255.203.207

Userpage vandalism
Please stop adding nonsense to Wikiquote, as you did to User:Sir James Paul. It is considered vandalism. If you would like to experiment, use the sandbox. Fys. “Ta fys aym”. 00:20, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Vandalism
Please stop. If you continue to vandalize pages, you will be blocked from editing Wikiquote. Fys. “Ta fys aym”. 00:28, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

title: User talk:24.255.203.207


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Fictions

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: delete. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:50, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Fictions
Without an intro, I'm not sure what this is supposed to me, but it looks like someone's original story, as opposed to excerpts of a notable work. —LrdChaos (talk) 04:48, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: delete (5 deletes; no dissent). ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:50, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete. —LrdChaos (talk) 04:48, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. Even if it were from a notable work, it would likely be a copyvio. - InvisibleSun 08:05, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete, I agree that this seems to be a copyvio as well. ~ UDScott 14:45, 15 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete even if it isn't a copyvio it still isn't appropriate for WQ. Koweja 15:53, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete per all of the above. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:05, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Dan Glickman

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: keep. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:52, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Dan Glickman
This is a notable person, and as the head of the MPAA, I expect there are at least some interesting quotes from him, but the one currently presented is fake, coming from BBSpot.com, a satire site. —LrdChaos (talk) 04:49, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: keep (4 keeps; 1 delete). ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:52, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete. —LrdChaos (talk) 04:49, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Keep now that a valid quote has been added. —LrdChaos (talk) 15:55, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. - InvisibleSun 08:15, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Keep because of the legitimate replacement quote. - InvisibleSun 04:43, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete, unless valid, sourced quotes are added. ~ UDScott 14:46, 15 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Keep, now that a sourced quote has been added, although I fear it will remain a stub for quite a while. ~ UDScott 16:05, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete Koweja 15:53, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Keep now, that I've added a single sourced quote from a non-parody source. But it may require serious inclusionists to get this kept. My casual web search turned up a number of articles, but nothing but this one new quote that's worth recording, IMHO. This guy just doesn't seem to get many interesting quotes into the news articles about him. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:17, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Tidal wave

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: delete. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:54, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Tidal wave
This wants to be a theme page about tsunamis, but near as I can tell it is all or mostly quotes that merely mention a "tidal wave" -- often only in the idiomatic sense. I don't think this can sustain a theme page even if the required cleanup is done, but I'm willing to be surprised. 121a0012 05:41, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: delete (5 deletes, incl. 1 implicit from nominator; no dissent). ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:54, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete. By using the phrase "tidal wave" both literally and metaphorically, the result is a concordance rather than a theme page. - InvisibleSun 08:22, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. ~ UDScott 14:47, 15 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete unless someone wants to clean it up so it is only about literal tidal waves. Koweja 15:53, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Comment: This reminds me of the anon question at WQ:VP. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:20, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. —LrdChaos (talk) 16:18, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Virgil Runnels III

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: delete. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:58, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Virgil Runnels III
Another pro-wrestler with nothing original, quotable, or verifiable to say. 121a0012 06:25, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: delete (6 deletes, incl. 1 implicit; no dissent). ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:58, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. - InvisibleSun 08:23, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. ~ UDScott 14:48, 15 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete Koweja 15:53, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete unless original, pithy, sourced quotes added. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:21, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. —LrdChaos (talk) 16:20, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Zope

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: delete. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:59, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Zope
Notable subject, but the only quotation is from some random blogger, and that's not sufficient to sustain a one-quote stub. It shouldn't be that hard to find some quotes about Zope from notable, published sources. 121a0012 06:57, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Vote closed. Result: delete (7 deletes, incl. 1 implicit; no dissent). ~ Jeff Q (talk) 00:59, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete unless additional quotes from notable sources are added. 121a0012 06:57, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. - InvisibleSun 08:24, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete, concur with 121a0012. ~ UDScott 14:49, 15 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete Koweja 15:53, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete per 121a0012. We don't even have a Java or a Perl yet; it may be hard to establish a decent Zope. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 11:24, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Delete. We do have a page for Programming, has sections for a couple of languages, and this may be a better fit for Zope (if any quotes from notable people can be found on the subject), even though it isn't a language proper. —LrdChaos (talk) 16:22, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Talk:Fernando Alonso

Vote for deletion notice
~ Jeff Q (talk) 02:14, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

title: Talk:Fernando Alonso


text:
Wikiquote:Votes for deletion archive/Fernando Alonso

 * The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review).  No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: speedy keep. ~ Jeff Q (talk) 02:14, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Fernando Alonso
This page contains no quotations even attributed to the original person, instead only presenting two quotes about the person. While the provided quotes do include source information, I strongly feel that we should discourage the creation of pages solely containing quotes about a person and none from them. Particularly, quotes about a person rarely offer any larger message or insight beyond that single person, usually taking the form of some sort of praise; in this specific case, the two quotes are both from other race drivers praising Alonso. I think it's material better-suited to some sort of fan site (are there such things for F1 drivers?) than Wikiquote. —LrdChaos (talk) 15:42, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Vote closed early. Result: speedy keep (4 keeps, including nominator; no dissent; cited main problem resolved). ~ Jeff Q (talk) 02:14, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

 * Delete. —LrdChaos (talk) 15:42, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Speedy keep with UDScott's improvements. —LrdChaos (talk) 15:08, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Keep, now that I have added some quotes. In this case, I felt the subject was notable enough to try to improve the page, but I definitely agree with your contention that we should probably require at least some quotes by the person, rather than just some about the person to keep it as a page. ~ UDScott 16:01, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Keep. - InvisibleSun 04:47, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Speedy keep now. Thanks, UDScott! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 02:11, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.


text:
Lukas Moser

Lukas Moser (1390–1434) was a German artist noted for his painting on the Magdalen Altar in Pfarr church in Tiefenbronn.

Quotes

 * Cry, Art, cry and lament loudly, nobody nowadays wants you.
 * Inscription on the Magdalen Altar

title: Lukas Moser


text:
User talk:Serminigo~enwikiquote

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:17, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
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Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Serminigo. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Serminigo~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:35, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 05:57, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Serminigo~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Olaf

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:17, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
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 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Olaf


text:
User talk:Zephyr~enwikiquote

Welcome
Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy! ~ Jeff Q (talk) 10:17, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * To sign with a date, write four tildes (~~) and save.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
 * Be bold.

Your account will be renamed
Hello,

The developer team at Wikimedia is making some changes to how accounts work, as part of our on-going efforts to provide new and better tools for our users like cross-wiki notifications. These changes will mean you have the same account name everywhere. This will let us give you new features that will help you edit and discuss better, and allow more flexible user permissions for tools. One of the side-effects of this is that user accounts will now have to be unique across all 900 Wikimedia wikis. See the announcement for more information.

Unfortunately, your account clashes with another account also called Zephyr. To make sure that both of you can use all Wikimedia projects in future, we have reserved the name Zephyr~enwikiquote that only you will have. If you like it, you don't have to do anything. If you do not like it, you can pick out a different name.

Your account will still work as before, and you will be credited for all your edits made so far, but you will have to use the new account name when you log in.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yours, Keegan Peterzell Community Liaison, Wikimedia Foundation 23:40, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed
 This account has been renamed as part of single-user login finalisation. If you own this account you can |log in using your previous username and password for more information. If you do not like this account's new name, you can choose your own using this form after logging in: . -- Keegan (WMF) (talk) 06:01, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

title: User talk:Zephyr~enwikiquote


text:
User talk:Minusf

Hi. Welcome to English Wikiquote. Enjoy!  Cbrown1023  talk  01:26, 7 February 2007 (UTC)
 * For a quick overview of what Wikiquote is, read Wikiquote.
 * Also see What Wikiquote is not for common activities that Wikiquote does not support.
 * To ask for help or to talk with another editor, visit our Village pump.
 * To browse Wikiquote, take a look at our browsing start page.
 * Before creating new articles, consult our guide. You may practice how to edit a page at Sandbox.
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 * When posting to a discussion, please sign with a date by writing four tildes (~~) and saving.
 * Be bold.

title: User talk:Minusf